posted by Sam Richards
I’m curious about what you all think of this. The problems of not recognizing same-sex marriage/unions are far ranging and leave deep wounds on many families….and “the children.”
18
Feb
I’m curious about what you all think of this. The problems of not recognizing same-sex marriage/unions are far ranging and leave deep wounds on many families….and “the children.”
I never put too much thought to this topic, but after realizing that gay parents may be just as qualified to raise children, I think I have become a supporter of equal rights for all. Before thinking too far into this issue, I was under the assumption that raising a child with both a male and female parent was in the best interest- developmentally, socially, and most importantly, psychologically – for the child. After some thought, I now believe that the sex of one's parents, all other things being equal, has little to no impact on one's childhood development. However, I would like to examine some research on this topic because maybe there are some things we need to address, in concern for the children who will be raised in a same-sex household.
The only other logical argument against equal rights for all men and women is the idea that homosexuality is not natural. I was always under the assumption that homosexuality was a personal decision. I thought that all humans were born with a natural attraction the the opposite sex. (I'm sure Darwin would have some very interesting views on this topic, for he most certainly observed homosexual animals in the wild.) And according to his evolutionary theory, men are born with a natural and innate drive towards humans with two X chromosomes. After Sam pointed out that most people know they are gay very early in their lifetime, I realized that they never had the choice to pick who they wanted to pursue.
The "natural" view argues that only the distinct combination of man and woman can procreate life in an natural environment. Therefore, humans by nature have a natural and biological predisposition to be heterosexual. This is a biological certainty, in a world full of uncertainty. What Im saying is that men and women have evolved together for a reason, men provide roles that women cannot and vice versa. This is why we need to research what may or may not be lost when a child is raised in a same-sex household. Men and women evolved in harmony to provide the wide range psychological needs necessary for proper development in all human beings. Men and women play different roles in the development of children, and we must first completely understand these roles before we accept this way of life because we could be denying children essential components of their childhood.
It is very interesting to analyze the differences between monozygotic twins who were raised in either a same-sex or a heterosexual household. I believe that the data generated in these studies could provide conclusive answers to this question, because if we analyze the differences to people raised in these opposing environment, DNA being identical, we are able to observe the role of the environment. THIS IS CRITICAL.
Freud would have a very interesting view on this issue as well because he spent much time studying specific psychological disorders that arise because of various traumatic experiences during one's childhood
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Knowing that the government doesn’t recognize same sex marriages as having the same rights as heterosexual marriages doesn’t make any sense to me. Families with parents who are the same sex are still families filled with love. Seeing laws regulate the amount of rights those with homosexual parents can have is breaking up families that are filled with love. Deporting somebody because they can’t use their life partner, who runs a household with them, to legally bind them to the country they’ve been living in for years is ridiculous! I don’t think that the government should be able to regulate how rights are distributed to people who want to be legally bound to each other in love for the rest of their lives.
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I don't understand why the immigration law does not recognize same sex partners. Why are we tearing families apart? What do we have to gain from such discriminatory and negligent acts. A family is defined as a basic social unit consisting of parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not. Please explain to me how a gay couple and their children is not considered a family? One definition of marriage is any close or intimate association or union. Therefore gay relationships form under this classification. I don't understand why people can't accept the choices of other people. Why do they feel so strongly about preventing the happiness of families and try to tear them apart.
I myself am very religious. I am christian orthodox and take many aspects of my faith very seriously. However according to the bible each of us commits sins. There isn't one person in the world that hasn't sinned in their life so we shouldn't be looking for the imperfections of others. Each person needs to take responsibility for his or her actions and not get involved in the lives of others. Why bring destruction to happiness and love. The bible also says that we should not declare who is a sinner and who isn't. That is up to god to say, and therefore we have no right to interfere with the lives of people. People need to focus on themselves and not interfere with others lives. There are so many scammers and drug addicts getting married so why cant people that are in love and actually care about each other be together. We really need to do something about this situation. Many gay couples are much better parents than straight couples and are also much better role models.
In this video, a family that is living a regular life is bombarded with obstacles thrust upon them by society. The mom in the family was even handcuffed bringing sadness and distress to all her loved ones. This happened because the immigration law doesn't recognize same sex partners. This is ridiculous. Isn't church and state supposed to be separated. So why do we have all of these restrictions on gay marriage? Where are they even coming from? Right now the United American Families Act is part of the effort to allow same sex partners to petition for their partners to get citizenship. Hopefully this act will get passed so that at least the biggest obstacle in the way of gay couple happiness can be overcome. 36,000 couples are being separated by all of these laws.We are taking away the happiness of so many people. This has to stop once and for all.
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As I was watching this video clip, it hit close to home for me. The issue of immigration will get me fired up. I know what it feels to live in fear of being deported – I was an illegal immigrant myself until recently. I think no one will understand the fear a person has to live with, knowing that one day that the government will be at your door steps and ready to escort you to your flight back “home.” It is one of those things that you have to be in someone's shoes to understand. I think that also applies to homosexuality. I just don't understand how people can be so quick to say they don't support gay marriages. They definitely do not understand the struggles and how difficult it is for gay couples. Yet, blinded by their ignorance, they are quick to make a decision about gay marriages and homosexuality overall. My advice to them is you will never understand homosexuality unless you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender.
Honestly, I have no clue exactly how difficult it may be for homosexuals to live being with an identity that is not the norm of society. I don't know because I am straight. But I try to be open minded to homosexuality. I do research and learn more about it before coming to any conclusion. I wish some people would do the same. I hate when people are quick to judge or make a conclusion about an issue when they know very little about it. Just like the issue on illegal immigrants.
I never thought that homosexuality, immigration, and deportation can all link together. For that woman in that video, I cannot imagine the hardships she has to deal with. The way I see it, the women and her partner is a couple. They have children and like any other family, they are a family. There is love, joy, happiness, and even sadness – isn’t that what any family experiences? So how can the government impose on what is a family? Furthermore, the couple is two-parent family. I think having gay couples be parents is better than having opposite sex couples be parents who are going to divorce. The divorce rate in opposite sex parents is so high – probably more than any other country. But people think that it is fine to raise children in a single parent family, but completely out of the question if a gay couple raises children. I believe children need two parents in a household especially in their early childhood. It is a critical for healthy development. Yet, when it comes to gay couples wanting children, people are up in hands about it. What difference does it really make? As long as they provide love, support, and discipline (to name a few), then what is so wrong about gay couples raising children? I rather have two parents that are gay then be raised by a single parent that isn’t.
I just really hope everything works out for the women in the video. It really hurts me to see her suffer through such difficult issues. These issues can not be resolved in one day or in weeks. It takes time and a lot of impatience – I know from my own struggles of being illegal immigrant. Immigration and homosexuality issues like gay marriages will be around for a very long time before they are resolved. Until then, I wish people would become more open – minded and do their research before jumping to conclusions. Ignorance is a horrible thing.
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In todays heterosexual world it is very hard to live as a homosexual. Although a significant amount of changes took place over a few decades we are still at the point of not being o.k. with homosexuality. It feels, as gays are more segregated and oppressed than any other group of people who is different from the norm. Although, norm is almost impossible to define and I think it does not really exist because it is something people got into their heads it still circulates among us. Plus, sometimes I feel as if people who think a little bit differently are scared to admit it to avoid the threat of not being accepted by their peers. Therefore, although we came far in regards to accepting gay relationships and even marriages in some states we are not even close to reaching a comfortable stage where it is o.k. to be gay. Hopefully, it will not take as many years as it takes to eliminate race stereotypes and segregations, and hopefully past events like inequality and racism will somehow open peoples eyes and they will see that it is o.k to be different and unique. Plus, who should be the judge as to what is norm and whats not. I think homosexuals think that homosexuality is the norm. Therefore, when people start to throw smart comments or looks they should first look at themselves in the mirror and realize that they are not any different from any other gay individual. The only difference is their sexual orientation. As to the video, which was posted on the blog, I think it is pathetic. Although I think that homosexuals should not be allowed to be married in church due to religious respectful and beliefs, they should, however, have the right to get married and have, adopt and raise children. I personally have a black female friend who was adapted by a Jewish homosexual couple.
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When I first watched this video, the first thing in my mind was, why was the government going after these kinds of families, where they separate close ones from US Citizens to deport them from the country. But after giving it a lot of thought, this should not be any different from any other situation. If marriage between two same sexes was legal, this should have been allowed under law. I was left with the main question then of: Why don't they just go to California or some other state that allows gay marriages and petition for a citizenship that way? If keeping a family together is that important, it should not be that hard to just get married in a state that allows it instead of waiting for a law.
I have no problem with gay marriages or the LGBT community and firmly believe that they should receive the same rights as a "normal" married couples. However, if some people believe firmly in some cause, then nothing should stop them from achieving it, so while they await for this new law, they should have gotten legally married somewhere where it is allowed. If not, then I wish them the best of luck and hope that this law gets passed soon.
All the representatives and senators are stuck in their backward ways and need to wake up and see that the world is changing. If not, they need to be replaced by younger people with better perspective on the world. Religion and the government need to kept separated and the bible (sure it has some good morals, but should not have any bearing on anyone's lives) should have no impact on the way this government is run. I am not attacking on Christianity, but how would you feel if there was a religion switch and suddenly we were following some other ideals and values and that were reflected in the government laws? Any instances of law that is reflected from the bible needs to be scrapped. We can't follow some scriptures written by some delusional people put together by kings to control the people (yeah I went there) blindly. Believe what you will, but I do not see how so many people blindly follow a book filled with lies. The same goes towards all the other religious scriptures. These cannot be followed in the government and the law needs to be more progressive towards peoples needs. When a law hurts its citizens when they deserve to not be obstructed, it is time for that law to change.
I saw some people posted that the church controls marriages… so what do they call marriages from other religions? The church can be abolished for all I care, but it controls nothing.
Just trying to play devil's advocate, and yes I believe in everything I said, and I am going to "hell," but you people who follow religion blindly are already in one…
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I want to make two points regarding this video and this specific story relating to inequality and rather than support much of the same popular views out there that have been posted on this video, I want to play devil’s advocate.
Now, I’m not supporting what the United States government did at all. I think it is a sad story and must be crushing to their children. However, from the perspective of the law, it is most likely considered illegal to declare yourselves as citizens of the U.S. if your children are born in the United States but you do not have a marriage that is recognized by law. So, although it is heartbreaking, the police were essentially carrying out their duty in arresting the mother, who by law, just as anyone else who does not qualify for marriage under the law, are supposed to arrest her.
So, now moving away from the fact that this act does not violate the law, I think the marriage/immigration law system needs to be reformed. Children should not have to stand by and watch as their families are torn apart, especially one when parent is deported to another country, and will be much harder to reach and to communicate with. So, in that regard, I am for reforming some of the marriage/immigration laws surround LGBT people.
However, I want to move away from this story very briefly towards something that Professor Richards mentioned in class. He noted that, he, a full proponent of gay marriage, gay rights, and gay freedoms, identifies himself as a conservative. When Professor Richards was asked how he can consider himself a conservative and still support these socially liberal policies, he noted that conservatism involved no government intervention and laissez-faire(hands-off) policies in which the government does not intervene in the personal lives of its citizens. However, with respect to this point, I would have to partially disagree. From an economic perspective, this is completely correct in which “conservatives” favor no government intervention and when we undergo an economic crisis, they prefer to simply allow the market to correct itself.
However, from a social point of view, from the research that I have done and for the years that I have been following and reading about politicians and other public figures that consider themselves conservative, they do not believe in socially liberal policies such as equal opportunity for the LGBT community members. The whole Christian right and much of the Republican party is built around these so-called conservative “family-values.” However, members in this ideological camp have public opposed legislation that favors equality between the LGBT and the straight communities. Now, whether many of them are hypocritical in this respect, when they ultimately end up tearing families apart, as we have seen in this video, is another issue in and of itself. Ultimately, however, I believe that the LGBT community will likely gain greater political advances in society.
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This video really has some eye opening affects once you see how the issue of gay marriage can impact deep into the families. I can’t say that I personally am for gay marriage because I don’t feel like it is correct because of what the sanctity of marriage means. I am not against gays or gays being together though on any level. I believe that they have the right to be treated equal just as everyone else and have the same rights as anyone. If others have the right to marriage then I believe that everyone including gays should have the same right. I mean I don’t know if I support it but I think that by law they should have these rights. When you watch this video and see how this is only one case where gays struggle and it’s all because of the lack of an official union. This family should not be subject to trials that other families are not subject to. This is not equal and does not follow civil rights or that laws that uphold civil rights. These rights are not only supposed to apply to skin color but to equality for all no matter what their difference. The idea that this family and mainly these children could suffer and be punished for the decisions that their parents made is even more heinous. It is not their fault and they should be able to grow up without these types of troubles. If an American citizen can marry a foreigner and therefore give them privilege to live in the United States then the same should go for someone who is gay. This is something that should be the same no matter what because it seems like it is ok for anyone to do this except gays. I know that this Is not the only types of trials gays face in America. They are very prejudiced against and are unable to get simple things like joint insurance or health coverage in the same name as far as I know. To take rights away based on sexuality seems absurd to me. Especially, when these actions involve children and could potentially cause problems for their well being. The rules and regulations concerning gay marriage need to be the same as everyone else or at least create some type of union that would establish the same rights as others have privilege to. I think the best thing to do to resolve this issue is to create a new institution to allow gay marriage and for gay couple to have the same rights as others. Even if it isn’t called marriage, it would still have the same fundamentals and would allow for fairness and the equality of all. Most important, these children of the couples would be able to live a normal life without the intervention of the government.
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This story is definitely a good pointer as to the overall opinion not only of government, but it seems America, towards the gay community. Penn State may be a place where most would say let them do what they want, but I do not feel like a lot of the country agrees or else we would not be in this situation.
But really, who would the legalization of gay marriage affect negatively? I can't say that it would affect me at all. If it makes people happy, then I'm all for it. If it makes people upset because they believe homosexuality is wrong for religious reasons, let's remember that we are supposed to have a separation of church and state.
I believe a great example of the reason for gay marriage was in class when Sam put up all the things that gay and straight parents could or could not do. The only difference is the gay communities inability to reproduce. So what does our country say about a straight couple in which either the wife or husband is incapable of reproducing? Are they any less or more of a couple than one who can? Are they damned to hell because of their lack of ability to bear children? I don't think so. Meanwhile, there are many opportunities for gay couples to have children: adoption, insemination, etc. I have a gay 2nd cousin (or something like that), who is happily married thanks to new Connecticut laws regarding gay marriage, with two kids who are completely normal in every way. They are happy together and so are their children. Isn't that what this whole country is founded on? Equality? When are we going to actually start practicing what we believe makes our country so great? It is not up to us to judge others or put them down, even if our religion says so. God will decide what's best for everyone so stop worrying about it.
The situation expressed in the video is unfortunate. These two women have a family and one of them is under threat of deportation because of a rule that ultimately goes against everything we ideally believe to be constitutional. Maybe this woman is a better member of society than the average American. Maybe with the right resources, she could go on to do something great. We cannot know unless she is given the chance, but our laws say you cannot marry the same sex. Love is love no matter how you look at it. Just let it go already and realize that maybe same-sex marriage isn't that bad. I mean, we know people go to Vegas and get hitched after a night or celebrities marry and divorce more often than they shop, so why can't people who actually love one another experience the same benefits as the idiots who do it for no reason?
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The following are a few quotes:
“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family”
– Anthony Brandt
"A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another."
-Buddha
"As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live."
-John Paul II
"As to the family, I have never understood how that fits in with the other ideals –or, indeed, why it should be an ideal at all. A group of closely related persons living under one roof; it is a convenience, often a necessity, sometimes a pleasure, sometimes the reverse; but who first exalted it as admirable, an almost religious ideal?"
-Rose Macaulay
We live in a time where words and ideas are no longer our own.
I find it funny how we have words that are pitched around without an understanding of the true meaning behind them. Words that have become loose in meaning have been translated for us and dictated to a norm that is to be our own, i.e. people are defining them for us. Take the quotes that are stated above. What do they have in common? These quotes show us some of the constitutions derived from the embodiment of a complex idea in the form of one word: family. Which brings us to the beg the question: What is a family? A family according to all lingusical sources is a union of a group of individuals who share a mutual place of habitation. Before we continue to dissect the issue further let's stop here for a second.
Take everything that is floating in your mind behind this idea of family and anything else that may be there as well and put it away for a second. Clear your mind. Find a blank white space in your subconscious and picture one thing: a dog. I want you to picture this canine and only this particular one. Concentrate. What an intelligent and magnificent creature. One of purity and strength. With its shortly trimmed brown fur, its stubbed cut tail, majestic pose, a splash of white on its torso, and its genetic black snout that hangs on its sides. I think we can all agree that the dog that we are all thinking about is the boxer! Or is it…? Were we all picturing the boxer before I began to describe it to you? Or at the end did I just inject my dog into your mind and made you think for a second that at the end the dog was a boxer. Take this very same example, but lets change one thing: change the dog to a family. What do you picture?
As we went a bit astray from what we are trying to understand in this introduction, it was essential to take you on a short detour so that you can further understand this argument that will be discovered. The meaning behind words in today's society have taken a turn for the worst as we uncover a different understanding: one of the individual. For years we lived by a meaning that was dictated as a norm for our society, i.e. words were being defined for us and not by us. Who is to tell you what dog you should be thinking about? Who is to tell you what a family is?
This idea that a family is constructed of a mommy and a daddy and the children and grandparents, etc., is an idea that was defined for us to be the norm for our living. Society, its many institutions [religions], and its rulers ["elected officials"] created this idea of an Ozzie and Harriet family in which its a perfect union of its members. But what gives them the right to tell us or anyone for that matter what a family is? "Sorry Billy who lives in an orphanage but those kids that you live with are not your family." "Hey sorry Jen, but those lesbian mothers of yours and yourself do not make a family." Would anyone in the world look into the eyes of these kids and tell them this?
Lets look at one more thing: marriage. When we think about marriage we think about family. They run parallel to each other. Sure a family can be formed by the union of two people who love each other but a family in the eyes of another can not form a perfect union of love? The rule only applies to a man and a woman. Oh yea and a man and his PS3 and a woman with her cat but two women or two men getting married to each other, we can't have that! I find it funny how religion and our political leaders like to step in and give their 2 cents to this assertion of marriage, but look at the quotes stated above. Since when should a marriage and a family be defined by our government/religion? Where does it say that a family can only be made up of a man and a woman in marriage? No where. Then why can we except LGBT families but not marriages? Problem is that unfortunately those two cents of Bull$#% that they feed us is worth gold in this society and people are afraid to give it up. Just like the dog example, the family is this day and age is the boxer.
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THIS LINK SAYS IT ALL!
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids...
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Growing up in North New Jersey, I was not exposed to a lot of same-sex marriages. Maybe it was because I just didn’t notice it or it wasn’t prevalent in my area. Whenever I would see a gay couple holding hands in public, I definitely reacted differently to a guy and girl couple. I would look at it almost as if it was completely wrong and they shouldn’t be doing that. I had a feeling of disgust on my face since it was not something I embraced. Growing up in a Catholic family, gay marriage was not something often talked about. However, I find it weird that my parents are more open to gays then I am. Maybe it is because they have been around longer than I have and have met many different types of people. My mom often says that I probably have gay friends and don’t even know it. I most likely wouldn’t disown my friends, but I would definitely look at them differently.
I think it is very sad that this family is not able to live a normal life. A family doesn’t necessarily have to be composed of a husband and wife with children. A family can have two women raising children and still be defined as a family. Gays have been fighting for equal rights for a long time now and I don’t see any reason why they shouldn’t be treated fairly. I personally don’t care if gays are given equal marriage rights. I’m indifferent about the entire controversy. If gays get marriage rights then good for them, but if they don’t, I’m not going to fight for them. Since this couple is not U.S. citizens, they are not able to receive citizen marriage rights. Even if the one U.S. citizen marries the other non-citizen, they still won’t be seen as a married couple because gay marriage rights are not embraced in all fifty states yet. Seeing their children in tears definitely hits home for me because their children have no control over their parents’ lives. They were born into a time where gay marriage is not yet embraced. No child should ever have to see their parents thrown in hand cuffs for no apparent reason.
All in all gay marriage should be legalized nation-wide. If two people love each other then there is no reason why they shouldn’t be recognized legally for it. It is not fair that opposite sex couples receive tax benefits yet gay couples cannot. The children in gay couple relationships have no control over their parents’ feelings and therefore should not be punished for it. Gays are simply trying to live their lives just like everyone else and deserve to be treated fairly.
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I think this is absolutely absurd. For what purpose does the immigration law not recognize same sex partners? I don't think that the United States has the right to tear this family apart. People should be able to be with who they want to be with without interference from the government. Why can't we make our own decisions? I thought the United States was supposed to stand for freedom. All people, whether heterosexual or homosexual should not have to fear being torn apart from their families. A family is a unity and no one should have to feel unsafe within their own families. It must be terrible to have to go to sleep every night knowing tha when you wake up the United States government could be banging on your door trying to rip you out of your place of comfort and deport you. What satisfaction does this give these officials? It just doesn't make sense to me that anyone in their right mind could have the heart to do this. In my eyes they are not doing anything wrong, so why disturb something peaceful? There should be no reason that these people should be treated differently by the United States government just because they are gay. I am in full agreement that the United Americans Family Act (UAFA) should be passed immediately. This act says that same sex partners can petition for their foreign born partners so the can legally stay with their family without fear of being deported. People should not have to feel frightened and threatened in their own home, or anywhere for that matter. It also doesn't make sense to me that it matters that she is an immigrant. What's the difference? As I said before, the United States is supposed ot stand for freedom and free will so as an immigrant I think that she is undoubtedly appreciative of the freedom we are supposed to be instilled with in the United States. Why does the government want to make her re-think her choice in coming here? It just doesn't make sense to me. Not only does this hurt the one whose being torn apart from their family, but what about the family itself? In this case this woman had two young kids. What are they supposed to do? Accept the fact that their mother was just ripped out of her household without as much of a goodbye? No, that just is not right. I don't get why the United States government would want to cause such issues. They are inherently hurting families everywhere. Most importantly, these kids are going to suffer more then anyone. As we saw in the video, one of the young boys started to cry thinking about his mother being carried from her home against her will. Why does the United States want to cause such havoc?
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I feel extremely bad for this family and I really hope that the Immigration Equality can get keep working on getting laws passed and make everything okay for families like this one. This lady has a always had a hard life, she came to America to get away from the man who murdered both her mom and her sister and she most likely would have been next if she has stayed in the Philippines. Being a lesbian is definitely hard enough but being an immigrant on top of that I am sure is even harder. Jay and Shirley have two sons and they have always been living a normal life and did not think their family was any different from anyone else's until now, when immigration came in and handcuffed their mom right in front of them. Even though she may not be an American citizen she is now part of an American family, which should allow her to not be taken my immigration.
This just shows another reason why gay marriages should be allowed. These two woman love each other and have two children together and too separate them would just not be fair to the woman and the boys. If these two woman were married none of this would be happening and everything would be fine and they could live their lives as a normal family. Something has got to be done because they are not the only family this is happening too there are multiple families that are going through the same thing. They love each other just as much, if not more, then any husband and wife out there and for them to not be officially married makes them not equal to us and they are. Many people around feel many different ways about same sex marriages and I think they should be allowed with out any doubt because they are allowed to have children together why not just allow them to be married. I bet most of them call each other husband or wife anyway so why not allow that to become official anyway. I do not think that they should only be allowed a union either I think they should go all the way and make same sex marriages legal in every state and not just a select few.
If the Immigration Equality gets their law passed it will make a huge impact across the United States and with someone many people. Even though everyone would not agree with this it would change the world because so many people who are struggling with this problem today would be able to live their lives like normal American citizens and be able to not worry about being taken away from their families unfairly.
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After watching this video, it makes me truely feel bad for this family. And that is exactly what they are, a family. Even though it is two women raising these young boys its the same as my mother and father raising me. And the though of the goverment trying to deport one of my parents would destroy me. Who cares if it is two people of the same race raising children. As long as they are offering food, shelter, a home, and love to these young boys there is nothing wrong going on here. I honestly feel bad for the people who can't think outside of the box and realize that nothing wrong is going on here. I am really learning how the United States and people view same sex relationships as, and it's disgusting. They are being treated like their some kind of animal or some harmful person. When in fact all it is, is two people who are in love. And as long as they are providing the best atmosphere for their kids, and not doing anything physical harm to anyone, it shouldn't matter. I wish other people could see that this isn't a big deal and they're just two people in love.
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In the video this week about this family, I found my heart breaking for them. When the young boy breaks down because his mother was pulled away from him in the middle of the night, I also almost cried. He must have been so confused and scared. According the Webster dictionary, a family is the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children; also: any of various social units differing from but regarded as equivalent to the traditional family. The family in this video clearly fits into this definition. The boys lived like most American families. They went to school, played sports and acted the same as the children with heterosexual parents. The parents created a home and provided for their children emotionally and financially. How does this differ from many our own homes? It doesn’t. We all probably live in a very similar way. In some ways this family might even be stronger. I believe the parents had been together for twenty-three years, which is actually longer than many marriages make it these days. So what makes them the exception a rule? They are in a more committed relationship than many heterosexual couples and have raised a family just like a heterosexual immigrant would have. They clearly had a strong and close family that should be treated like every other family. They should not have been punished the way they were, if heterosexual immigrants were not also treated this way. Now please misunderstand what I am trying to say. The mother should have applied for citizenship and followed the immigration rules legally. She knew the laws and broke them, which is illegal and therefore she should be punished. Deportation is the punishment for her crime and technically her punishment was fair. However, the real issue is what or who is left out of the law and it’s consequences. It is a hypocritical and contradictory law. If a heterosexual couple can avoid deportation by having or joining a family, then a homosexual couple should have the same rights. We must recognize that the law should not discriminate and make exceptions. Sexuality should not be a stipulation for laws in a “free” country. If we are free to be ourselves and free to make personal decisions then why is the United States government punishing gays for their decision to be themselves? If the United States government believes that marriage and a family will not allow you to avoid being deported then so be it. However, they must apply that law to everyone. The government can make the law go either way, they just have to include everyone and not discriminate. Fair and equal treatment is the problem in this situation not the immigration laws themselves.
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The story truly changed my appeal about LGBT marriages/unions. There is no reason why and perfectly functioning family should be broken up like this. There are plenty of couples that don’t perform nearly as well as this one and they don’t get split up. However this family is not realized as a family because it is a LGBT relationship. If it was any ordinary marriage between a man and a woman there would not be the worry of deportation due to the type of marriage.
In the past I have not been a supporter of LGBT marriages/unions mainly because of my religion. In my religion LGBT marriages are not supported and are highly frowned upon. Personally I believe there are two types of gays as well. There are those who are born gay and those who are turned gay due to outside influences. I use to be only accepting of the people who I believe were born gay in the sense they were a very feminine male or a very masculine female. Even though I was accepting those people who were “born” gay I still would turn the other way when I heard or saw them on T.V. or in public. From our class however I have gained another perspective. Overall I am very normative person believing and doing “normal” things. I believe that there is a norm that should be followed and there is an anti-norm which should not be followed.
For the longest time LGBT has fallen into a category of what people should not do. However we have different standards depending on sex. As a male, along with many other males seeing a girl make-out at a party with another girl is not only okay but more than enjoyable. Now if a male was to kiss another male I would be disturbed. The female and female kissing is okay compared to the male and male kissing not being okay is a very bad double standard that many of us still hold today. However the aspect of a double standard between men and women will be around for eternity because both love to get on each other’s nerves and both believe they are better than the other. For the longest time however I thought it was unacceptable for a same-sex marriage because the main reason a couple should get married is so they can have a family. However there are numerous amounts of straight couples who have already ruined this virtue of marriage. It isn’t the same-sex marriages but the straight marriages by taking marriage for granted and not full out committing to the idea of being with the person the rest of your life. We all need to accept LGBT marriages so functional families like this one can stay in place.
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This is a very sad video and a horrible situation for this family to be in. It really is a shame that their family will be separated and I hope that it all works out for their family in the end. I can not see why a case like this will not be overturned or thrown out. I can not believe that there are 36,000 other families dealing with similar situations. That really surprises me! I had no idea that this law is affecting so many families in the Unites States.
Even though they are a gay couple their family seems completely normal and full of love. I think that this is where a lot of the misunderstanding and prejustice against gay couples comes from. Just because they are a gay couple with children does not mean that they are not a normal functioning family. I know usually when I do not understand someone I am not comfortable with it. If our society had more understanding about gay couples and were more aware of these things I think things in our society would be different. I think our society has a long way to go when it comes to understanding and respecting the gay community. In order to do that I believe stories like these need to be portrayed by the media more often to help our society understand the gay community better and help spread the awareness of such problems and situations with in the gay community.
This story of this family’s situation shows that not only do people individually have a problem with accepting the gay community but politically as well. In time I believe that laws in every state will be passed will accept gay unions. Again in order for this to happen I think people are not aware at all that situations like these are happening and need to become aware in order to actions to be taken in passes laws that include gay unions to be protected under the law. The media I think needs to do a better job of showing these types of stories. I watch the news a lot and I never see stories like these. If people saw stories like these more action would be taken to help pass these laws that affect the gay community
Overall, this video has opened up my eyes and has made it clear that as a society we have a long way to go when it comes to tolerance and acceptance of the gay community. I that some day soon gay families will not have to deal with situations like these anymore and our society will be more understanding and tolerant of the gay community.
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This is sad and unfair. I think that some of these people commenting should have a heart. Put yourself in that position, it is horrible. I cannot imagine going through the days sacred that my mother might be taken away. I really can only hope that those boys can be strong while the government gets a move on with gay and immigrant rights and hope that nothing bad happens to their mother in between time.
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This is a very sad story. My heart breaks for the two little boys in the video. I cannot imagine being told that one of my parents is going to be deported because my parents' relationship is not acknowledged by the government. I don't think the government should have a say in the relationships of the US citizens.
I often get in arguments with my devout Catholic mother about same sex unions. She always goes back to the Bible teaching that a marriage is between a man and a woman and one of their main duties as a married couple is to procreate. I do agree with her on this stance to a certain extent; however I also don't think it is fair to discriminate against gay people. As we mentioned in class, I don't think being homosexual is a choice, I think it is biological feeling and a person has to choose to act on this homosexual feeling. I would be furious if someone told me that I am not allowed to fall in love with a person that I love because of his/her gender. Homosexual people should be able to make the same lifelong commitment that heterosexual people can make. As for this family in the video, they look to be a very happy family. These two women are providing a loving and safe environment for their sons. They are probably making a better living for their children than many heterosexual couples provide for their own children. As Dr. Richards pointed out in class, homosexual couples have to adopt children because they obviously cannot procreate, so the homosexual couples who have children truly want them, have to pay a lot of money and go through many processes to have those children. They are probably more suitable parents than many of the heterosexual couples who have children from unplanned pregnancies.
I cannot believe the government wants to disrupt a happy family because they don't agree with same sex unions.The divorce rate is 50%. The US has an abundance of single parent families due to divorce and some of them are struggling to make ends meet. Why does the government want to create even more single parent families that will live in poverty? I think the government officials should spend their time fighting crime. poverty and breaking up the families who have abusive parents, rather than the happy ones. The government and many people in this country (my mom included) need to wake up and realize that it is the 21st century and homosexuality is becoming more prevalent and less taboo. As Dr. Richards said, we need to be over this issue and move on to something else. Everyone needs to mind their own business and work on his/her own relationships rather than judging other peoples' relationships. With a 50% divorce rate in the US, I don't think many people have room to talk about what makes a good relationship.
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I have never given though to this situation or have ever heard of this being an issue. It really breaks your heart because they really are an actual family, the only thing that is missing is the legality of a marriage. This is ridiculous that just because they are not legally married, their family can and possibly will be torn apart. I feel as though if two gay couples are legally allowed to adopt and/or use a sperm donor to have children, then there should be a law against deporting any partner that is an illegal immigrant. I could not believe that 36,000 families like this one that is in the video are in jeopardy of being separated due to immigration laws. Obviously this is a wide spread problem, so something needs to take place, such as the creation of a law that can prevent such a thing from happening. With all the progress that the LGBT community has made, I think that the next step is for the creation of a law that permits marriage in all states. I think that a possibility could be that instead of legally calling them marriages, all states would call them “unions,” yet they would still provide all the rights that a marriage has. To me, this seems harmless, but I guess I could see how not naming them marriages would be a form of discrimination. Although, it could just help to explain the difference. For example, a union would mean there are two mothers or two fathers, while a marriage means one of each, and that would be the only difference. Although, I am not gay, so I do not know how I would feel about this if I was. Personally, my mom has two lesbian friends who are with each other. I asked them what they thought about this, and they said getting married or “unioned” was not really what they wanted at this point, but they would probably be fine with the word distinction. Although, this could be different for a gay couple that was very serious about getting married. That couple may feel discriminated against if their relationship was labeled differently from a heterosexual couple’s relationship. This whole debate is very interesting to me, because it is hard for me to figure out what my own opinion is. I one hundred percent agree that gay couples should not be discriminated against, but I feel like that to me “discrimination” could mean something totally different for a LGBT couple. I think that with the problem this video portrays, obviously this is an issue that needs to be dealt with, and I feel as though this could possibly be the next step for LGBT people.
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I think this is very sad. There are equality issues wherever you look and discrimination against same-sex marriage is a very prominent one. Not only is the couple featured in this video faced with such a major problem, but their two children have to witness it too. When you think of all the children who are in need of a home, these children who were placed in a loving family environment should not have to deal with these kinds of issues. To see your parent being taken away in handcuffs partially because of a family structure in which you have been raised your whole life would be a detrimental experience. The United State is basically taking away these children’s support system just because their parents are not afforded the same rights as a traditional married couple would be.
I related this video to one of the points Sam made in class, that all sins are equal. So if you think about it that way, getting drunk and same-sex marriages are equal sins. Why is it then that being gay is the reason that families are being torn apart? I understand that religious reasons can be used to answer this question, but I truly believe that God loves everyone and wants us to be accepting of others.
I think that tolerance is such a big issue here. Gay marriage can’t be banned forever because as time goes on, more and more people become accepting of it. There are so many different types of families, and this just happens to be one of them. I don’t understand how the government can decide if they are allowed to be a family or not, especially if homosexuality does not affect them personally. It just makes me sad that these children are basically being told that their family is not acceptable. I’m sure that they face negative judgments in many other places too. At school they might be teased for having two moms, and they may even lose friendships over it. It must be so difficult to adjust to hearing these judgments when they are towards the family that you have grown to accept and love.
Overall, I don’t think that people should be told how their family should be structured, or that it is wrong to love the person they love most. I do not think that it is anyone else’s business. It is such an invasion of privacy to interfere with a family’s life in this way. It is still considered discrimination, which I don’t think is right. You should be able to love who you want to love no matter if other people (who are involved in your life or not) agree with it.
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I can’t even get over this story. This family was going about living their lives not bothering anybody. Why is it necessary that the mother be deported because of the partner she chose to love? I feel so bad for the children because they had to watch their mother be taken out of their home in handcuffs and deported back to her country. Honestly, those cops and the people that caused this to happen are ignorant, disgusting people who have nothing better to do with their lives than make other people’s lives miserable. This family was living happily together and that is the way partnerships should be. No one should be allowed to judge or say anything about who one falls in love with. Why can’t the government just let it happen?
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Though you hear about these kind of situations a lot- where people get to remain in the country due to their marriage to an American citizen, or people getting married solely for the purpose of being able to stay, I had never thought of it in terms of how people from the LGBT community are affected. I guess it makes sense that they are not protected from deportation through their partnerships since they are not "legally married" but it was still surprising to me. Just this past summer, I was a nanny for a lesbian couple and their two sons who were right around the ages of the boys in this video. Their family was great and truly normal in every way. The boys played sports, went to summer camps, and were as happy as any other nine and eleven year I've ever met. They had to moms who worked hard, provided for the family, and loved them like crazy. I'd gone to a Catholic school for thirteen years of my life so had always had it hammered in my head that lesbian and gay persons are not meant to be married and it would be horrible to allow them the same protections and rights of marriage that we give to heterosexual couples. But until this summer working with this family, I had honestly never been interested in the issue enough to ever give much thought to it. But I think now what it comes down to is the fundamental separation between church and state. Religious reasons are pretty much the only reasons I have ever heard people give as to why they are opposed to gay marriage- so okay, churches can choose to not allow LGBT couples to marry in their church. Getting married by the Church is not even a legally binding ceremony, you still need to go through the state to obtain a binding marriage license. But what does any of that have to do with the state legally marrying someone and giving them the legal rights of any other couple that seeks to be married? Why can't a LGBT couple choose to be married in a secular ceremony by a secular institution? Since when can the government tell us who it's okay for us to love and be with? I can't imagine if one of the women I worked with this summer was from a foreign country and was torn away from her family and deported…that would be devastating to their family. Gay and lesbian couples need to be given the right to be legally married by the state. The churches can continue to do what they want, they are their own institutions, but their power over the states in matters such as these needs to stop. Though religious institutions may not "catch up to the times" anytime soon so to speak, states need to, and quickly.
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I was shocked by the statistics given at the end of the video. More than 36,000 families, that is a lot of people being negatively affected by the constraints the Government has placed upon them. I have never thought about immigrants in this scenario, but as the story was told, it makes sense, and is an even more alarming reason for why all couples, who are willing to commit to an act such as marriage or a civil union or whatever you want to call it, should have the legal rights that all heterosexual couples receive. I was intrigued by this clip because it was a real, logistical problem directly associated with the LGBT issues. I am in support of Gay marriage. I think that people should have the right to do whatever they want to do, and if the reasoning behind not allowing the act is based on religion, then it should not be an issue of the Governments to begin with, but that is topic that could be debated on its own. Instead, the family featured in this story was actually being threatened with the loss of a wife and a mother, all because the couple had no legal rights associated with their relationship. I wish that this specific implication would have been discussed in class, because I think it is one of the startling realities that need to be brought into attention. It is these sorts of arguments that can challenge those close minded people to rethink their beliefs and question the reasoning they have for their anti gay feelings. I would be interested to hear what someone with those thoughts has to say about this situation. Do they have a solution for this problem? One that is more viable then permitting marriage or granting the appropriate rights to the people involved. Or do they just think that not only should you not be gay if you are an average American, but you should definitely not be gay if you are an immigrant. I am also glad that they included that over half of them are raising children, which helps showcase the fact that gay couples are completely capable of caring for and raising children.
I was interested in hearing when this video was posted. How recent of a story? Regardless I see that the issue is a relevant one, I was just curious as to what progress has been made, at least for this family. I also thought it was interesting that story was told in association with the Immigration Equality Action Fund, not a group associated with LBGT. This issue is more than just a LGBT issue, or an immigration issue, but a combination of the two, indicating just how important it is and how much more awareness should be drawn to such scenarios.
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This video clip about the extremity of the repercussions of same-sex marriages is nerve racking and sad in many ways. To have to see the children suffer and experience these traumatic events is just the last thing any parents would want to witness. What is surprising is that these children have already been exposed and understand that their parents are of the same sex, so the children’s wellbeing shouldn’t matter to the government.
What was also shocking is that these two couples were not illegal immigrants. If they had been then it’s reasonable if the government subjected both or either one to be deported. However, this is not the case, they are lawful, abiding citizens who happened to fall in love and raise a family together, but to their dismay, they are being examined for their marriage. This is just another double standard that we have in the United States. Ff the couples were heterosexual, the tables would be turn and everything would be normal. The problem is that the government either lacks the understanding of homosexuals or avoids the problem of gay marriage.
It is just not plausible that any human would separate children from their parents, but in the video and perhaps many more resources, it shows that the fine boundary is being crossed. Why would a child want to witness their own mother or father being handcuffed and to eventually realize that it was because of their genders? To what degree does the government have to delve into the family life to finally understand the emotional, psychological, and physically tormenting events these children and couples undergo. It is not their parent’s choice to be homosexual and for any individual, this statement is just too vague to understand. It’s almost as if the government or the officials deciding the recognition of gay marriages should take a course on sociology or human development to ascertain this complex system and the reasons why homosexuals are homosexuals. They do not see the trauma, the hurt, the humiliation that gay couples go through and particularly the children of gay couples. They only see the “normal” side and they only answer to the “normal” people. Their audience is the heterosexual group, the group that build the foundation of this country, the group that were raised to resist difference and change.
I am as intrigued and curious to know the final outcome to this mess—if there ever will be one. I am looking forward to finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel if the government ever reaches it, and at last I would want the government to sincerely apologize to homosexual individuals, couples, and the children, family, and friends surrounding this matter. Something should be done.
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After watching this clip, I have many thoughts. My religion is not supportive of same sex marriages, yet there are times when they view other sinful acts as okay. I guess I have trouble drawing a line because I have been taught to expect some exceptions within the Catholic Church. My church isn’t perfect, and I really don’t think many of them are. I think they all have their flaws.
Learning about marriages in Catholicism, you are taught that sex is between a man and a woman, no one else. It is not called a marriage if two people of the same sex want to be “together.” I remember that marriage and sex were only discussed in terms of men and women during middle school. But even when high school started, same sex marriages were rarely addressed. I only remember having a formal debate about this topic once and it was during my senior year. So I feel as though I’ve been hardly prepared to even look at this topic from the other side of the spectrum.
After our LGBT lecture, I really started thinking about my feelings toward same sex marriage. If you asked me my stance a year ago even, I would probably have answered that I would not want it to be called a marriage, but a union. Now that I’ve watched this clip and heard opinions about how these couples are just as loving as a heterosexual couple, maybe we need to reevaluate. Obviously some states have taken a position to allow same sex couples to be together by law and I think it’s fair.
When Sam showed the comic of the types of couples that are together, it is so true that some same sex couples provide families with just as much if not better care than some heterosexual couples that are married for some pitiful reason. This family struggled to stay together and probably traumatized the children involved. Any child would be traumatized to see a parent taken away in handcuffs, especially when they don’t think their parent did anything wrong.
Basically, I am still developing and evaluating my thoughts toward LGBT issues that are presented in our society. I do believe that two loving people should be allowed to be together regardless of their sex, but I am still unclear about the title “married.” I know that sounds a little wrong, but I only mean it in terms of being married in a church because the bible define marriage as being between a man and woman. I’m not neglecting that people do things that are wrong and get away with it as I stated earlier, it is just I cannot see the Church allowing same sex couples to be married there. While that’s unfortunate, I do believe that same sex couples should be able to be together and raise children. There are many children in need of love and care, and if you are willing to provide that, you should be able to adopt children regardless of your sexual orientation.
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This video is a huge eye awakener for me. I knew that same-sex marriage and immigration were both problems here in the US but I didnt know that they were a combined problem. What happened to the couple in this video was really terrible and unjust. The fact that same sex couples still dont have the rights opposite sex couples do is quite ridiculous. Why should the government be able to tell a person who they can and cant be committed to? To me that is a personal choice& not one Washington should be allowed to make for you. If the church doesnt believe in allowing same sex marriage then, good for them thats their beliefs and only people who commit themselves to those beliefs should have to follow them. The state should, like others have said, sign off on same sex civil unions while the church can continue to only approve of opposite sex marriage. This to me, is a good compromise. It allows the government to do its job and keep separation of church and state by allowing same sexes civil union but at the same time allows the church to carry on with its belief of opposite sex only marriage.
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I had no idea that this was going on on such a large scale. Obviously I have been aware of LGBT issues going on in the world, but when those come to mind, I never once think of a family like the one in the video being split apart. Seeing videos like this spread the awareness and I think that more people need to be subjected to seeing these videos. Those poor innocent boys and that family had to go through that separation, for what exactly? It just seems ridiculous.
Immigration in itself is a huge issue, but for this family's case, that could be resolved by legitimizing their union by marriage. I think that seeing this video clearly depicts what is going on in our country and it really pulled on my heartstrings, especially after seeing that little boy get choked up. The two mothers were providing a great and loving life for their two sons, and just because they are gay and couldn't get married, the one mother was deported. Those mothers and two sons are a FAMILY just like any other family. By not letting gays get married, it's sending off the message that gays are these evil and horrible people, which clearly isn't true.
I think that our society is gradually becoming more accepting of LGBT issues, and it's only going to be a matter of time before they have the same privileges as heterosexuals. I mean if you think about how far our country has come already with those issues, it's pretty extreme. Even just from one generation I think things have changed for the better. Like in my family for example, my grandparents are total homophobes, my parents are kind of okay with it but still uncomfortable, and my brothers and I are just like "whatever" and we are completely fine with it. So maybe by the time the people in our generation are ruling the country and businesses all around the world (hopefully in a decade or so) the LGBT issues will all be resolved. And hopefully all minority issues can be resolved as well.
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For me, actually I never had any personal experiences with the LGBT community, but this past year has given me more exposure and understanding to the community. This video was really hard to watch just of how emotional the kids are reacting to the government’s act of deporting their parent. The divorce rate in the United State is as high as 38%, but in this case, the government is breaking the 2-parent family apart because of the same-sex marriage/union. It is just so saddening to see that discrimination is so clearly played out when two people are happy together and doing society a huge favor raising 2 kids.
As an immigrant myself, I experienced discrimination an unfair treatment, but still, not as obvious and heart-breaking like this family. I think when more than one factor plays into the situation of discrimination, it is even more so clear that it is innately wrong. In this case, the family is being discriminated against for being lesbians and as well as immigrants. For me, I have lived in the State of Pennsylvania for the past 8 years and my dad paying full taxes every year for the past 8 years, but I still had to pay for out-of-state tuition just because I am not a permanent resident or a citizen. It is not up to the level of discrimination; however it is extremely unfair to an immigrant family like us. My dad is the only one working in our household and my grandparents are also living with us right now, my tuition has always been the big burden on our family.
As for the topic of gay marriage, whether we should call it “marriage,” or “union,” personally I feel that using a legalized term such as “union” should be the fairest way to establish the relationship. Marriage has its definition and fighting over the definition shouldn’t be the main concern, what matters is the meaning behind and the legality issues. Same-sex couples should have the same rights as married couples. This video really shows the other side of our government. Our government should be there to protect us and give us fairness, but what we see here is immoral and wrong when the young child cries about the forced separation from his mom; who knows when is the next time they can see each other? That is just entirely wrong, and immoral. Wasn’t our government built on freedom of rights and equality? We have come somewhat far as trying to achieve equality among different races, but we cannot forget that there is the LGBT community as well, they are people too and they deserve fair and equal treatment just like everyone else.
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The video posted in the blog really opened my eyes on why gay marriage needs to be legalized. Sounds cliché, but I was ignorant of the fact that passing a same sex marriage law will keep families together. I have never realized that legalizing gay marriage would allow a foreign spouse to remain in the United States. The video also really showed how loving same sex parents are towards their children and the incredibly loving family dynamic. It puzzles me that a spouse of a same sex marriage will have to be separated from their spouse and children because they do not have the same rights as heterosexual married couples.
For heterosexual couples in which one spouse is not a citizen of the United States, marriage prevents the non-American spouse from being deported to their home country. For example, Sandra Bullock’s character in the Proposal is a Canadian who proposes Ryan Reynold’s character, who is American in order for her to stay in the United States. Since same sex marriage is not recognized or legal in the United States, a same sex spouse from a foreign country is not immune from deportation. I do not think this is fair because many of these same sex couples have families. If one parent is deported because the government will not recognize their marriage and grant them the same rights of heterosexual couples, families will be separated due to the government’s ignorance and lack acceptance of same sex marriage. How is that fair? How does that emulate the freedom in which this country built upon? If same sex marriage was legalized, same sex couples with one foreign spouse would not have to fear being torn apart.
The video also showed how loving, caring, and compassionate same sex parents are towards their children. Many individuals are skeptical of the ability for same sex parents to raise their children. They believe that it is unhealthy for children to have parents of the same sex because it is not the “norm.” The twin boys who had same sex parents seemed to be “normal.” They received the same love and care as heterosexual parents would give their children. Their parents seemed to give them that unconditional love, and they seemed to return that unconditional love. Their family dynamic seemed strong, healthy, caring, and loving. It is not fair that a caring and loving family has to be separated because they cannot receive equal rights as heterosexuals and that there are families with heterosexual parents who do not give their children that unconditional love.
The United States needs to seriously pass a law legalizing same sex marriage so homosexuals can receive the same rights as heterosexuals. This will help keep families together, so children can be nurtured and grow in a safe and loving environment.
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I think that is really important for the Immigration Equality organizations to continue trying to get same-sex partnerships recognized by the United States. In America, we have the right to be whoever we want to be so it is extremely unfair that the U.S. does not recognize same-sex partnerships. These individuals are raising families just like the rest of our own families. The only difference is that the parents are the same sex. Who is really to say what is right and what is wrong? Everyone has the right to choose who they want to spend their lives with and how they want to raise a family. It is very unfair to the children to have to go through all of this just because of the family that they are being raised in. It was heartbreaking to see the young boy start crying when he was talking about how his mother got taken in handcuffs and almost got deported. He said that his mother is a good person and this should not be happening to her. I agree with him. The lifestyle that they choose does not affect anyone else so why should we interfere with their lives? If this was a case where a man and woman were living together raising children, there would never even be a question in anyone’s mind about whether or not one of them should be deported. It is horrible to think that she left her country because her mother and sister were murdered. She was afraid to stay in Korea as the murderer was about to get out of jail so she left for the United States, which should be keeping her safe instead of trying to send her back to the very place that she left. The United States is supposed to be a country based on differences, acceptance, and opportunities. I am starting to see more and more that this is really not the case. In today’s society, so many things are changing and we need to take the proper steps forward in ensuring that individuals who choose lifestyles outside of the “norm” are protected. No family should ever be torn apart based on who they love. I do not believe that anyone can control who they love so it is unfair to tear them apart just because they chose a partner of the same sex. These families are doing everything the same as any other family would. The children play sports, and we saw them getting ready for work and school in the morning. If anything, they probably have a stronger family than many of the other “normal” families in the United States, just because of all the extra drama they have to go through. I really hope that the Immigration Equality organization can move ahead and pass a law to protect them.
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During the LGBT class, I thought Sam made a good point with the cartoon that showed the different marriages. Our country acknowledges marriages between star for publicity that last a week, marriages between two people who knew each other for a night but the United States does not allow a marriage between two people who love each other because they are the same sex. If two people are in love and acknowledge each other as a partner they deserve every treatment and benefits as a married couple. I do not care if you want to call their union a marriage but they do not deserve to be told they are not allowed to have the rights that two married people do. In this instance in the video it is a disgrace to see that the United State takes away this mother. First off she has not one but two sons that she cares for everyday. She has a partner that she loves dearly and has a life with this person. This does not sound any different than my household or any other family I know. There is one difference though; the partner is of the same sex. But that is not wrong. The only thing she is doing wrong or is a reason for being deported is because she is not a legal American citizen but that is only because they do not recognize their same sex marriage. If only the United State would recognize this union then there is no reason for her deportation. I also feel that the United States are taking into account she is living in a household that has parents of the same sex and this adds to their reason to deport her. I think the United States should instead realize there are two kids that are being raised by loving parents even if they are of the same sex.
This deportation also has a great effect on the two children. In the video when the one son was re encountering his mother’s deportation, he could barley talk. If the kids are constantly being exposed to their mom being put in handcuffs, this could affect the well being of the children. This is a big problem that I believe the United State is not thinking about. First you are exposing these kids to their mother being taken away by the police. Then second, you are leaving these kids with a single parent. I thought the United States was all for families lead with two parents? The United States contradict themselves in this situation. The United States needs to decide whether they care more about forbidding same sex marriages or keeping a family together. Most people can decide on which is better.
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This video was very moving. I feel that people are always making a big deal out of things, probably because of insecurities or maybe because they feel uncomfortable about certain situations, like same- sex marriage. Marriage is ultimately a vow between two people who truly love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. Marriage is just something written on paper saying that these two people love each other "till death due [them] apart." There should not be a law on who should be marrying who and who should no be marrying who. It's just not fair for homosexuals, especially since it's really not their fault for liking the person who is the same gender.
America was known to be the land of opportunities and most importantly freedom. I don't think the US is holding up to its bargain, if there are stupid laws like the one pertaining to gay marriage. It is just ridiculous, and inappropriate on how the government needs to basically have a say in which who should love whom. There are probably plenty of gay couples out there who are a lot happier than straight couples. So, I really don't think the US should have a law on marriage, because it is just bogus.
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Growing up in a very diverse down, I have luckily been around many gay and lesbian people from a young age. During high school I found out that some of my best friends were lesbian and watching them go through what they had was really hard. I saw the evil side of this country and how people, including their own families, could be so harsh and un-accepting. But as we went through high school, two of my closest girl friends started dating. At first people were really weary and not too used to it but after awhile it became more normal. These girls have currently been dating a little over 3 years, which is longer than any other relationship, I or anyone else I’ve known has had. These girls honestly and truly care for each other and in my eyes make a great couple. They are always happy, they always compliment each other and all around are just good people. So why should it be that they are not allowed to get married when other less-deserving people are? Through these three years I have witnessed many unhealthy heterosexual relationships. They have been abusive either emotionally or physically between the two partners. So what society is saying is that these people are allowed to get married even though they are harming to each other but my two friends who are a wonderful couple aren’t. I think it is totally ridiculous and needs to change.
After watching this video I can only sympathize with this family. I can only imagine what it would be like to have one of my parents stripped away from me because her marriage was not “legal” in the eyes of society. It truly is not fair that the union between these two women cannot be considered legal. They can love each other and raise a family just as good if not better than other heterosexual couples around the world. I do understand that the whole “marriage” idea stems from religion, and being homosexual is a sin but at the same time I think it is complete crap. Just because you care about someone of the same sex does not make you bad person in any sense of the word. It just means that you were born differently and you have different interests than other people. I think people need to realize that we are in a new era and things are changing and that not everything is going to remain the same. We need to learn to accept people for who they are and if they want to get married than they should be allowed. They are the same as everyone else but just have different interests.
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This video does highlight another reason the right for gay marriage should be passed. This story reminded me of a heart breaking video I saw in another sociology class called Freeheld. It is the story of a New Jersey police Lt. Laurel Hester who had a domestic partner and was suffering from terminal cancer. The couple was trying to arrange for Laurel’s death pension to be given to her partner Stacie since Stacie could not afford their house without it. They struggled with a board of 5 men who simply had to decide to change the policy about domestic partnership. Instead the men who saw Laurel was dying from cancer repeatedly said no. It would threaten the sanctity of marriage they argued. Finally over a year after beginning the battle for her rights Laurel’s pension was able to be awarded to her domestic partner. Laurel then died less than a month later. It’s hearing all of these stories that make me so angry we can’t just let the Gay Community have their rights. Is it so threatening to our society that we allow people in love to have the same federal rights as the rest of us? Or is it going to be the end of the world? I do not think so. I was looking around for the definition of marriage and on Merriam-Webster the third definition states marriage is an intimate or close union. Is that not what most humans strive for in life? To have their soul’s counterpart recognized? It is because of the close-minded majority of our society that incidences like Laurel Hester’s pension battle or the disruption of Jay and Shirley’s family occur. I think it is horrendous that we would have children grow up in a single parent household instead of a two parent household because their parents don’t have the right to marry and protect each other. One of the big things that I always think about when I think of marriage rights is the supposed separation of church and state in our government. Government officials should not be guided by their religious upbringings when making decisions about gay rights but it is inevitable. It is not their job to worry about what will happen to their citizens when they meet their maker. If marriage is a union in front of God no one has the right to judge that union except for God. I guess I just wonder where in a country that began because of the injustice enacted on it why we have to continue the cycle of injustice on our own citizens. Everyone deserves the right to be happy. Everyone deserves the right to love whomever they want. Everyone deserves the right to protect their families. Just not in the super power called the United States I guess.
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I feel really bad for this couple and this family. Watching this video breaks my heart, especially for the children. It just proves Sam’s point about how children who are raised by homosexual couples do not have a greater chance of becoming homosexuals themselves. These kids were explaining how they lived just like stereotypically heterosexual boys by playing basketball and tennis and “living regular lives.” The aggressive discrimination handled by the United States government on this couple not for the color of their skin, not for their race, but rather for the sexuality they chose to be committed to, just further nullifies the Bill of Rights and the United State Constitution, which supposedly entitles equality and various types of freedom to every single citizen.
Growing up as a Christian, I was taught to have heterosexual relationships when considering a lifelong relationship (a.k.a. marriage). I still believe this is true, but I guess I can say I’m “lenient” and tolerant enough to be okay with homosexual marriages. If two people are in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together by bringing happiness and joy into each other through the good and the bad, whether they’re heterosexual or not, it’s fine by me. I might not totally agree with homosexual marriages, but I can respect them. If somebody can find his/her full enjoyment of life through committing lifelong pacts and relationships with another of the same gender, I’m kosher with it.
This is actually the first time I heard about the United American Families Act. The woman (who looks like a woman) said that through the hopeful passing of this act, same-sex American citizen partners can petition for their foreign-born partners so that she can stay in the United States legally without fear of “getting picked up at any time or getting deported at any time.” I hope this act will pass as well; it will be a win-win situation for both homosexuals and the United States government. Homosexuals would get what they want and the government will hopefully gain more respect and admiration from the general public.
Come to think of it, maybe it is a race thing. Does anyone think that the government would have treated a woman from another country more differently than the one in the video? If that’s the case, then the United States is essentially screwing and messing up its relationships with other countries. Once again, another flaw to the most powerful nation in the world could be in the midst, should this assumption be true. I’m usually not the person to bash on our own country, considering how blessed and fortunate we are compared to many other nations that are run by governments far worse. But from this video, it just goes to show that the United States isn’t the perfect democracy.
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What this video depicts is very disturbing. It is hard for me to believe that this goes on in the United States today, aka The Land of the Free. This video is very emotional since it shows a happy “family” getting torn apart and losing one of its parents. And while this issue is about a “family”, at the same time this isn’t technically a family for that no one is related through blood or marriage. They are like a family, but really are not, just to set that straight. Losing a parent due to death is a tragic thing that nobody deserves to go through, but here I feel like the family is being forced to lose a parent. The interview with the one son showed how his true feelings for his mother and having no concern or cares about being the son of a lesbian couple. Looking at it from the other side, an illegal alien is an illegal alien and that’s a federal law. So I understand her reason of being departed. But really, aren’t there so many other things the United States government could focus its time and energy on. Even things like departing illegal aliens that are increasing crime rates, by trafficking drugs or through whatever means. But the fact that they are departing a mother of a happy family, simply because she is a lesbian and cannot receive citizenship is gut wrenching. I do not know how somebody, whether it the people enforcing this law or even the workers that transported her do not feel awful for what they are doing. What is unique about this is how it contains two huge social issues in our society. These include immigrant issues and same sex marriage or union issues. Neither of these has been resolved yet and I feel the United States has a long way to go until they are. This short film shows that the United States doesn’t really support family units. Yeah there are some perks, but as far as keeping the families together, not much about that. And as this video stated, this affects about 36,000 families so it is not an isolated issue. I guess if I was in part of this situation, I would just move to a state that accepts and provides marriages for gays, I mean makes sense right? I never believed much that if a person married a person in the USA they should be a citizen, but that’s not really the point. In conclusion, I don’t really think a family should have to be categorized as heterosexual or homosexual at all, I mean governmentally speaking, what’s the difference? But again, they should just move to a state that accepts their kind, even if it is a hassle at first, it’ll be worth it in the end.
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This was not a complete shock to me however I never really thought about the issue of immigration and homosexual marriages. It is really upsetting to see families torn apart because the state does not except these two women as a couple who is raising a family. They can’t see past the fact that this is a well established family just trying to be happy in their own terms. If this were a man and a woman, steps would be taken towards getting the individual there citizenship so as not to split the family apart. However since gender is so important when it comes to love and families, immigration has separated a mother from her children and brought back to the country in which she came from only because she was in love with another woman.
I am aware that some states have allowed gay marriages, so someone may argue why this family doesn’t just move to a state where they do accept gay marriages. And that is a good argument but to a certain degree because why should this family completely move from their residence where they are comfortable and settled in, just because these two women are in love. These women are doing nothing different than what your average American family does. They have two healthy well-rounded twin boys and they own this nice white house with a well kept lawn. One would never know this house was owned or those children were raised by a gay couple unless they were told so. And since that is the case why is it that the rest of the states give these individuals the freedom to marry whomever they please. This is something I just can’t seem to understand.
This country prides itself of the vast freedoms it has and this country should be prideful of that however we are not a perfect nation. And the fact that a couple may not marry because it just so happens they fell in love with their same sex, is an issue that increasing in intensity. There are more and more homosexual couples gaining enough confidence to question the government and fight for their right to be married. It is only a matter of time until this country starts realizing that these individuals are not much different and all they want to do is have the same marriage rights as a heterosexual couple and be left alone.
There are married couples in the country that are unhealthy and should just not be married period. There are young couples that want to be married at the immature age of 18. There are married couples who have bore children and they either never spend time with their children because or work related matters or who emotionally and physically abuse their children but they are still allowed to be married. So my question is …if it has been proven in numerous research studies that homosexual couples can raise healthy and well developed children just as well as a heterosexual married couple, what is the big deal about them wanting to be married?
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I want to start off by saying that I have grown up in a home where I have always felt comfortable with homosexuality and have many friends who are gay. While I believe that they deserve all the rights straight people have, this brought an argument that I had never thought of before. That the government is okay with just tearing this family apart astonishes me. With the divorce rates so high in the United States, you would think seeing two parent families would be a blessing but instead the police come and handcuff this woman in front of her children. I can understand the laws about immigration and that they weren’t fulfilled in this situation but there must be a way for homosexual couples to gain citizenship in the same way straight couples do. If a straight, American citizen wants to marry someone from another country, that person is allowed to become a citizen. Without the option of marriage, gay couples can not gain citizenship in this way, even if they have children. That just doesn’t add up to me. This situation definitely brings up two very controversial topics and laws that are going back and forth throughout the years. Immigration laws are very particular and for good reason, there has to be some way to regulate the amount of people and who is coming into the country. But they must find a way to not break up families in the process. Laws in support of the LGBT are also few and far between. It is not a view that is universally accepted yet and that places more of a burden on gay couples, especially ones who are trying to raise a family. As I said, I am very supportive of homosexual marriages, but also I am very supportive of homosexual parents having children. I don’t see any reason why two people who are very much in love should not be allowed to adopt children. I can definitely say that there are many straight parents out there that are a lot less suitable to have children then gay people. There must be a way to fix these laws so that parents who want to be together to raise their children can be. This is a very solid argument for legalizing gay marriage that I had never thought of before. I don’t see how anyone could think ripping a family apart is the solution to anything or the right thing to do in this situation. If the mother is able to provide everything necessary to become a legal American citizen, she should be able to do so, so that she can get back to her family and providing for her twin boys.
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This video was quite shocking to me. It really made me think about the problem we have in the United States on the issue of same sex marriages. I didn’t know that the immigration laws of this country would not accept same-sex partnerships as reasonable grounds for someone to stay in this country. Our country shouldn't be able to tell us who to love or marry. It's completely illogical that our government has the power to not let people get married. I thought we were living in a free nation? We are they tearing families apart? If a gay couple wants to have a family, and wants to adopt children, they are giving children a better life than these kids would have ever had otherwise. I think it is devastating that these children are losing a parent to something as ridiculous as this. It is going to affect the children in such a negative way for a very long time. Something they have seen and known as normal for their entire lives is suddenly being taken away from that. In this article it shows the mother is getting deported and being told her sexuality is at fault for it. Who is to judge that her children should be taken from her? The kids now have to deal with not having a mother when they have been used to it their whole lives. Losing a parent is extremely hard to deal with whether it is a heterosexual, homosexual, or one parent family. The United States wants two parent households, but will not recognize same sex marriages or unions. People in these situations cannot get the same benefits as people in a marriage between a man and a woman. People who want to enter into same sex marriages and unions are being told that they are not as deserving of the same basic human rights as those who are heterosexual. The idea or concept of heterosexuality is socially constructed to be the right choice to take when one is pursuing a relationship. However we need to realize that our country is changing in so many ways. I think it is good for people to see videos like the one shown, because it brings light to an important topic in our society and how it affects not just these families but others who are trying to raise a family in the LGBT community. LGBT should keep fighting to gain equal rights and recognition. I think this is the only way people will understand, they need to continue to let the world know about the hardships and problems they have to face in today’s society. These people should feel that they can raise a loving family just like any other American family.
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What is a family? How can the Unites States government or anyone for that matter define what exactly a family or or how a family should be. There are some countries where families may consist of one father, 23 children and 3 mothers. Now how can you say that's not a family if they consider themselves one? Do you think a family has a perfect blueprint? Do you believe a family can only consist of a mother a father and a couple of kids? Then tell me, how about those single mothers out there? How about those children who were born without fathers by their side because those fathers turned around and ran as soon as they heard any hint of a child on the way? Should they not be considered a family? It's a mother and say, a son who live together, give each other all the love that they have and survive with no outside support, but should they not be considered a family? Or would you call them a broken family, or something? Same goes for single father families, or families where both parents are in jail or deceased and the grandparents are talking care of the children. Or how about those families who have lost their fathers to war, will you have the heart to go up to them and tell them that they are no longer a family because they don't fit the perfect sketch?
The answer is that there is no perfect outline of a family. We don't choose our family; some are born into a family, for some family is determined by the people who end up raising them, taking care of them, and loving them. A family could consist of any number of people of any color and gender. An animal could even be family for that matter. Say, if you leave a child in the wild and a gorilla "adopts" him and starts taking care of him since he is an infant, and helps him survive just like in Mowgli. That gorilla then raises the kid and becomes his mother – that gorilla is family. So how could you ever say that two moms or two dads could not be called a family? How dare you? We've got drug addicts and convicts raising babies with needles all over the place in their homes, yet they can be considered families as long as they aren't gay? But then you have a gay couple, who are the most loving parents and give their children everything they can and most importantly love and care, and they can't be classified as parents under the law? How disgustingly wrong is that? How could the government, the law be so cruel as to try to tear a family apart just because it doesn't feel like classifying two same sex people as parents? How is being gay different or wrong at all? It's an outrage is all I can say.
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The issue of gay marriage is certainly not an easy one, there are many different ways in which it effects our society, and many different viewpoints that must be considered in terms of coming to a decision. However, when one hears of a story like this one, it's hard to find a rationalization against allowing it. After all, what exactly is accomplished by tearing apart this family? Is the institution of marriage really protected by harming the lives of the people in this family.
Really, thinking about it, I've honestly never heard a convincing argument for banning gay marriage. Really, the only argument that I've heard that makes sense, in a way, is that which is based on religious scripture. Heres the thing though, while I certainly cannot fault someone for simply being true to their personal beliefs, it goes against one of the found principles of the United States for the the government to begin passing laws using church dogma as the reasoning.
It's really a shame, especially since the language of the constitution is very clear in this regard. The 14th amendment clearly grants equal protection under the law, to deny a group of people rights reserved to others based solely on their sexual preferences is a clear violation of that equal protection. What is often suggested as a remedy for this is the creation of civil unions, which are supposed to grant all the same privileges as a married couple without actually calling it marriage. Two problems with this, firstly is seems to be a clear throwback to the old "separate but equal" doctrine of the Jim Crow era United States, something which has long since been determined to be unconstitutional. The second major problem is the fact that civil Unions have not historically been equal. Thought they receive some of the tax related benefits that a married couple would, civil unions are not put on equal footing when it comes to hospitals and the raising of children. Couples that are under civil unions do not have the same visitation rights as regular marriage couples and cannot always visit their partner in the hospital, nor do they have power of attorney. The issue with children is also obvious, as a same sex couple will not have equal custody of a child, and in the case of one of the parents dieing or the relationship ending, one of parents could potentially be cut off from the child they raised.
And of course there are instances like this. Really, it's an absolute shame that something like this has to occur. On one hand I am comforted knowing that it's only a matter of time before these laws are changed and we see these rights extended to same sex couples. Still, I wonder how many more ruined families it's going to take before things finally change.
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This story really is eye opening to me and I would believe it has to be for other people as well. Me personally, I believe that same sex marriages should be recognized everywhere and not just in a few states in a few situations. I think that gays should have the same rights as people who are straight and be able to marry whoever they want and be told that they can not be with someone they love and want to spend the rest of their life with. Personally this sort of thing is against my religion but I still think they should be able to have a marriage if they love the other person and it is for the right reasons. Who are we to say just because their way of life is supposedly not the intended way that they can not spend the rest of their life living in a marriage with the person they have chosen. It is my opinion that you can not help who you are attracted to so that is why I believe that this sort of thing needs to be taken care of and taken care of soon. I mean look at the case with this family. It is not fair to be able to tear them apart of this whole issue of them not being able to get married. If they could have gotten married this problem would not have occurred. It is tearing them apart for no good reason at all. Its not their fault that they happened to fall in love with someone of the same sex. Plus if you look at those kids they did nothing wrong to deserve this. They do not deserve to be punished for something that they had no control over. This may drastically change their lives and for something they had no hand in controlling or choosing. I think in certain situations laws need to be taken care of for these sort of problems. You are tearing a family apart just because the law does not except this marriage. It is totally uncalled for and wrong in my book. This is just a family trying to live their lives the way that makes them happy and they should be allowed to do that. I mean imagine if this was your family how would you feel if the parent you loved was being taken away just because of some law that many disagree with. It is complete bs that a family will have to go through this in their life time. Something definately needs to be done about this and very soon to stop incidences like this from happening again. These families should be able to live how they want and no one should have a say in the matter in my opinion.
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It is sad that situations like this occur everyday. I wish the story had given more details however. For example, did one of the two women in the relationship give birth to the twin boys? Were they adopted? Was an egg from one of the women used and put into a surrogate’s body as well as donated sperm? There are certain loopholes that certain families can use to get around deportation. In this relationship one woman is a citizen and the other is not. It is my understanding if a non-citizen gives birth to a child (children) in the United States then she is allowed to remain within the U.S. with them since they are naturally born citizens. If that were not the situation, marriage to a U.S. citizen would allow an immigrant to remain living in the United States. Unfortunately for this couple, as well as many others, same-sex marriage is not recognized by immigration and therefore significant others who are not U.S. citizens get deported everyday.
Many couples, with or without any children, deal with obstacles and problems similar to this one everyday. This is because our society and government still do not treat everyone as equals, especially those in the LGBT community. If the government would allow same-sex marriage or at least some kind of a union where LGBT were granted the same rights as heterosexual couples then the United States would be on track to treating everyone equal. It stumps me to think that heterosexual couples have the right to marry whoever they want of the opposite sex and can procreate as much as they want without permission from anyone. However, LGBTs cannot just get married as easily as homosexuals and the process of having any children is far more difficult than it needs to be. By deporting someone’s partner, loved one, and mother/father the United States is making homosexual relationships that much harder and in my opinion, aren’t they hard enough?
Lesbian couples, like the one shown in the video, struggle with obstacles everyday and by adding children to their family they are forced to deal with new obstacles and issues. Discrimination from others is a big issue because some people believe that gay couples can only raise gay children or that children need both a mother and a father to be raised, not two of the same-sex. These views and opinions can be debated back and forth but at the end of the day LGBT couples are still allowed to adopt children. If it is acceptable for these couples to raise children even though so many people are against it, why is it so unacceptable to allow them to get married or at least have some kind of union to represent their love for one another and grant them the same rights as heterosexual couples?
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First I would like to comment my first reaction to this video. As I began to watch the video my first thought was that it would be the typical gay marriage argument. However this is the first time I have ever considered the lives of not only the two gays attempting to marry but also the children they are raising. And another variable that I found in this video that most wouldn’t care to think about when arguing for or against gay marriage was the deportation laws. I found it absolutely absurd that the government of the United States of America felt it necessary to split up a family who have never committed any crime or caused any disruption. While I do understand the reasoning behind the laws of immigration and deportation, I do feel there should be and needs to be a clause that will deal the issues that will arise when dealing with households ran by gay couples. The reaction of the kids and the spouses in the video alone shows not only that this is pressing issue, but also that its immoral and injustice to take someone from a home in the manner that the government attempted to do in this case. This is also brings up other problems that gay couples must face on a daily basis, such as who controls the estate after the death of a partner, who makes the decisions for a spouse in the hospital, and who can be claimed in taxes and such. As a gay man myself, I understand that I may be very biased in my thoughts on the subject but at the same time I cannot find one reason for the U.S. government to not allow gay marriage. How can we claim as a country that we are a free country, but limit a certain group on how they live their lives, and show their love for each other? Someone in another post mentioned something that may seem comical at first but it really is a great point. If two people can get drunk in Vegas and marry, why can’t two people of the same sex who LOVE each other be segregated and treated differently. Again, I may be biased being a gay person myself but as hard as I try to be as neutral as possible when discussing the subject, I still to this day, can’t find a valid excuse as to why I won’t be able to marry the man I have fallen in love with.
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