Comments on: Another Reason Why Gay Marriage Matters

By: Jharred_Tulloch

Jharred_Tulloch — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 07:07:19 +0000

First I would like to comment my first reaction to this video. As I began to watch the video my first thought was that it would be the typical gay marriage argument. However this is the first time I have ever considered the lives of not only the two gays attempting to marry but also the children they are raising. And another variable that I found in this video that most wouldn’t care to think about when arguing for or against gay marriage was the deportation laws. I found it absolutely absurd that the government of the United States of America felt it necessary to split up a family who have never committed any crime or caused any disruption. While I do understand the reasoning behind the laws of immigration and deportation, I do feel there should be and needs to be a clause that will deal the issues that will arise when dealing with households ran by gay couples. The reaction of the kids and the spouses in the video alone shows not only that this is pressing issue, but also that its immoral and injustice to take someone from a home in the manner that the government attempted to do in this case. This is also brings up other problems that gay couples must face on a daily basis, such as who controls the estate after the death of a partner, who makes the decisions for a spouse in the hospital, and who can be claimed in taxes and such. As a gay man myself, I understand that I may be very biased in my thoughts on the subject but at the same time I cannot find one reason for the U.S. government to not allow gay marriage. How can we claim as a country that we are a free country, but limit a certain group on how they live their lives, and show their love for each other? Someone in another post mentioned something that may seem comical at first but it really is a great point. If two people can get drunk in Vegas and marry, why can’t two people of the same sex who LOVE each other be segregated and treated differently. Again, I may be biased being a gay person myself but as hard as I try to be as neutral as possible when discussing the subject, I still to this day, can’t find a valid excuse as to why I won’t be able to marry the man I have fallen in love with.

By: lar5074

lar5074 — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 19:29:46 +0000

It is sad that situations like this occur everyday. I wish the story had given more details however. For example, did one of the two women in the relationship give birth to the twin boys? Were they adopted? Was an egg from one of the women used and put into a surrogate’s body as well as donated sperm? There are certain loopholes that certain families can use to get around deportation. In this relationship one woman is a citizen and the other is not. It is my understanding if a non-citizen gives birth to a child (children) in the United States then she is allowed to remain within the U.S. with them since they are naturally born citizens. If that were not the situation, marriage to a U.S. citizen would allow an immigrant to remain living in the United States. Unfortunately for this couple, as well as many others, same-sex marriage is not recognized by immigration and therefore significant others who are not U.S. citizens get deported everyday.

Many couples, with or without any children, deal with obstacles and problems similar to this one everyday. This is because our society and government still do not treat everyone as equals, especially those in the LGBT community. If the government would allow same-sex marriage or at least some kind of a union where LGBT were granted the same rights as heterosexual couples then the United States would be on track to treating everyone equal. It stumps me to think that heterosexual couples have the right to marry whoever they want of the opposite sex and can procreate as much as they want without permission from anyone. However, LGBTs cannot just get married as easily as homosexuals and the process of having any children is far more difficult than it needs to be. By deporting someone’s partner, loved one, and mother/father the United States is making homosexual relationships that much harder and in my opinion, aren’t they hard enough?

Lesbian couples, like the one shown in the video, struggle with obstacles everyday and by adding children to their family they are forced to deal with new obstacles and issues. Discrimination from others is a big issue because some people believe that gay couples can only raise gay children or that children need both a mother and a father to be raised, not two of the same-sex. These views and opinions can be debated back and forth but at the end of the day LGBT couples are still allowed to adopt children. If it is acceptable for these couples to raise children even though so many people are against it, why is it so unacceptable to allow them to get married or at least have some kind of union to represent their love for one another and grant them the same rights as heterosexual couples?

By: JJR11

JJR11 — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 16:28:31 +0000

This story really is eye opening to me and I would believe it has to be for other people as well. Me personally, I believe that same sex marriages should be recognized everywhere and not just in a few states in a few situations. I think that gays should have the same rights as people who are straight and be able to marry whoever they want and be told that they can not be with someone they love and want to spend the rest of their life with. Personally this sort of thing is against my religion but I still think they should be able to have a marriage if they love the other person and it is for the right reasons. Who are we to say just because their way of life is supposedly not the intended way that they can not spend the rest of their life living in a marriage with the person they have chosen. It is my opinion that you can not help who you are attracted to so that is why I believe that this sort of thing needs to be taken care of and taken care of soon. I mean look at the case with this family. It is not fair to be able to tear them apart of this whole issue of them not being able to get married. If they could have gotten married this problem would not have occurred. It is tearing them apart for no good reason at all. Its not their fault that they happened to fall in love with someone of the same sex. Plus if you look at those kids they did nothing wrong to deserve this. They do not deserve to be punished for something that they had no control over. This may drastically change their lives and for something they had no hand in controlling or choosing. I think in certain situations laws need to be taken care of for these sort of problems. You are tearing a family apart just because the law does not except this marriage. It is totally uncalled for and wrong in my book. This is just a family trying to live their lives the way that makes them happy and they should be allowed to do that. I mean imagine if this was your family how would you feel if the parent you loved was being taken away just because of some law that many disagree with. It is complete bs that a family will have to go through this in their life time. Something definately needs to be done about this and very soon to stop incidences like this from happening again. These families should be able to live how they want and no one should have a say in the matter in my opinion.

By: GreekForHire

GreekForHire — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 05:34:20 +0000

The issue of gay marriage is certainly not an easy one, there are many different ways in which it effects our society, and many different viewpoints that must be considered in terms of coming to a decision. However, when one hears of a story like this one, it's hard to find a rationalization against allowing it. After all, what exactly is accomplished by tearing apart this family? Is the institution of marriage really protected by harming the lives of the people in this family.

Really, thinking about it, I've honestly never heard a convincing argument for banning gay marriage. Really, the only argument that I've heard that makes sense, in a way, is that which is based on religious scripture. Heres the thing though, while I certainly cannot fault someone for simply being true to their personal beliefs, it goes against one of the found principles of the United States for the the government to begin passing laws using church dogma as the reasoning.

It's really a shame, especially since the language of the constitution is very clear in this regard. The 14th amendment clearly grants equal protection under the law, to deny a group of people rights reserved to others based solely on their sexual preferences is a clear violation of that equal protection. What is often suggested as a remedy for this is the creation of civil unions, which are supposed to grant all the same privileges as a married couple without actually calling it marriage. Two problems with this, firstly is seems to be a clear throwback to the old "separate but equal" doctrine of the Jim Crow era United States, something which has long since been determined to be unconstitutional. The second major problem is the fact that civil Unions have not historically been equal. Thought they receive some of the tax related benefits that a married couple would, civil unions are not put on equal footing when it comes to hospitals and the raising of children. Couples that are under civil unions do not have the same visitation rights as regular marriage couples and cannot always visit their partner in the hospital, nor do they have power of attorney. The issue with children is also obvious, as a same sex couple will not have equal custody of a child, and in the case of one of the parents dieing or the relationship ending, one of parents could potentially be cut off from the child they raised.

And of course there are instances like this. Really, it's an absolute shame that something like this has to occur. On one hand I am comforted knowing that it's only a matter of time before these laws are changed and we see these rights extended to same sex couples. Still, I wonder how many more ruined families it's going to take before things finally change.

By: KG_FORTY_TRIBES

KG_FORTY_TRIBES — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 05:11:33 +0000

What is a family? How can the Unites States government or anyone for that matter define what exactly a family or or how a family should be. There are some countries where families may consist of one father, 23 children and 3 mothers. Now how can you say that's not a family if they consider themselves one? Do you think a family has a perfect blueprint? Do you believe a family can only consist of a mother a father and a couple of kids? Then tell me, how about those single mothers out there? How about those children who were born without fathers by their side because those fathers turned around and ran as soon as they heard any hint of a child on the way? Should they not be considered a family? It's a mother and say, a son who live together, give each other all the love that they have and survive with no outside support, but should they not be considered a family? Or would you call them a broken family, or something? Same goes for single father families, or families where both parents are in jail or deceased and the grandparents are talking care of the children. Or how about those families who have lost their fathers to war, will you have the heart to go up to them and tell them that they are no longer a family because they don't fit the perfect sketch?

The answer is that there is no perfect outline of a family. We don't choose our family; some are born into a family, for some family is determined by the people who end up raising them, taking care of them, and loving them. A family could consist of any number of people of any color and gender. An animal could even be family for that matter. Say, if you leave a child in the wild and a gorilla "adopts" him and starts taking care of him since he is an infant, and helps him survive just like in Mowgli. That gorilla then raises the kid and becomes his mother – that gorilla is family. So how could you ever say that two moms or two dads could not be called a family? How dare you? We've got drug addicts and convicts raising babies with needles all over the place in their homes, yet they can be considered families as long as they aren't gay? But then you have a gay couple, who are the most loving parents and give their children everything they can and most importantly love and care, and they can't be classified as parents under the law? How disgustingly wrong is that? How could the government, the law be so cruel as to try to tear a family apart just because it doesn't feel like classifying two same sex people as parents? How is being gay different or wrong at all? It's an outrage is all I can say.

By: klpeace1

klpeace1 — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 03:20:56 +0000

I could not agree more with this. We are tearing apart good and happy families based on a law that is religious in nature. It really isn't fair to say that America doesn't stand for freedom. There are just flaws in the system, which we need to work hard to correct. We have separation of church and state for a reason and we need to remember that. We need to fix our laws where we have failed and give rights to couples who want to spend their lives together and have loving families, regardless of gender. Gay marriage is about love and denying people the rights which we ALL deserve as Americans.

By: blp5094

blp5094 — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 19:46:03 +0000

This video was quite shocking to me. It really made me think about the problem we have in the United States on the issue of same sex marriages. I didn’t know that the immigration laws of this country would not accept same-sex partnerships as reasonable grounds for someone to stay in this country. Our country shouldn't be able to tell us who to love or marry. It's completely illogical that our government has the power to not let people get married. I thought we were living in a free nation? We are they tearing families apart? If a gay couple wants to have a family, and wants to adopt children, they are giving children a better life than these kids would have ever had otherwise. I think it is devastating that these children are losing a parent to something as ridiculous as this. It is going to affect the children in such a negative way for a very long time. Something they have seen and known as normal for their entire lives is suddenly being taken away from that. In this article it shows the mother is getting deported and being told her sexuality is at fault for it. Who is to judge that her children should be taken from her? The kids now have to deal with not having a mother when they have been used to it their whole lives. Losing a parent is extremely hard to deal with whether it is a heterosexual, homosexual, or one parent family. The United States wants two parent households, but will not recognize same sex marriages or unions. People in these situations cannot get the same benefits as people in a marriage between a man and a woman. People who want to enter into same sex marriages and unions are being told that they are not as deserving of the same basic human rights as those who are heterosexual. The idea or concept of heterosexuality is socially constructed to be the right choice to take when one is pursuing a relationship. However we need to realize that our country is changing in so many ways. I think it is good for people to see videos like the one shown, because it brings light to an important topic in our society and how it affects not just these families but others who are trying to raise a family in the LGBT community. LGBT should keep fighting to gain equal rights and recognition. I think this is the only way people will understand, they need to continue to let the world know about the hardships and problems they have to face in today’s society. These people should feel that they can raise a loving family just like any other American family.

By: kec5207

kec5207 — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:49:10 +0000

I want to start off by saying that I have grown up in a home where I have always felt comfortable with homosexuality and have many friends who are gay. While I believe that they deserve all the rights straight people have, this brought an argument that I had never thought of before. That the government is okay with just tearing this family apart astonishes me. With the divorce rates so high in the United States, you would think seeing two parent families would be a blessing but instead the police come and handcuff this woman in front of her children. I can understand the laws about immigration and that they weren’t fulfilled in this situation but there must be a way for homosexual couples to gain citizenship in the same way straight couples do. If a straight, American citizen wants to marry someone from another country, that person is allowed to become a citizen. Without the option of marriage, gay couples can not gain citizenship in this way, even if they have children. That just doesn’t add up to me. This situation definitely brings up two very controversial topics and laws that are going back and forth throughout the years. Immigration laws are very particular and for good reason, there has to be some way to regulate the amount of people and who is coming into the country. But they must find a way to not break up families in the process. Laws in support of the LGBT are also few and far between. It is not a view that is universally accepted yet and that places more of a burden on gay couples, especially ones who are trying to raise a family. As I said, I am very supportive of homosexual marriages, but also I am very supportive of homosexual parents having children. I don’t see any reason why two people who are very much in love should not be allowed to adopt children. I can definitely say that there are many straight parents out there that are a lot less suitable to have children then gay people. There must be a way to fix these laws so that parents who want to be together to raise their children can be. This is a very solid argument for legalizing gay marriage that I had never thought of before. I don’t see how anyone could think ripping a family apart is the solution to anything or the right thing to do in this situation. If the mother is able to provide everything necessary to become a legal American citizen, she should be able to do so, so that she can get back to her family and providing for her twin boys.

By: Nohpay

Nohpay — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 01:24:17 +0000

This was not a complete shock to me however I never really thought about the issue of immigration and homosexual marriages. It is really upsetting to see families torn apart because the state does not except these two women as a couple who is raising a family. They can’t see past the fact that this is a well established family just trying to be happy in their own terms. If this were a man and a woman, steps would be taken towards getting the individual there citizenship so as not to split the family apart. However since gender is so important when it comes to love and families, immigration has separated a mother from her children and brought back to the country in which she came from only because she was in love with another woman.
I am aware that some states have allowed gay marriages, so someone may argue why this family doesn’t just move to a state where they do accept gay marriages. And that is a good argument but to a certain degree because why should this family completely move from their residence where they are comfortable and settled in, just because these two women are in love. These women are doing nothing different than what your average American family does. They have two healthy well-rounded twin boys and they own this nice white house with a well kept lawn. One would never know this house was owned or those children were raised by a gay couple unless they were told so. And since that is the case why is it that the rest of the states give these individuals the freedom to marry whomever they please. This is something I just can’t seem to understand.
This country prides itself of the vast freedoms it has and this country should be prideful of that however we are not a perfect nation. And the fact that a couple may not marry because it just so happens they fell in love with their same sex, is an issue that increasing in intensity. There are more and more homosexual couples gaining enough confidence to question the government and fight for their right to be married. It is only a matter of time until this country starts realizing that these individuals are not much different and all they want to do is have the same marriage rights as a heterosexual couple and be left alone.
There are married couples in the country that are unhealthy and should just not be married period. There are young couples that want to be married at the immature age of 18. There are married couples who have bore children and they either never spend time with their children because or work related matters or who emotionally and physically abuse their children but they are still allowed to be married. So my question is …if it has been proven in numerous research studies that homosexual couples can raise healthy and well developed children just as well as a heterosexual married couple, what is the big deal about them wanting to be married?

By: oldslugger11

oldslugger11 — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 17:58:47 +0000

What this video depicts is very disturbing. It is hard for me to believe that this goes on in the United States today, aka The Land of the Free. This video is very emotional since it shows a happy “family” getting torn apart and losing one of its parents. And while this issue is about a “family”, at the same time this isn’t technically a family for that no one is related through blood or marriage. They are like a family, but really are not, just to set that straight. Losing a parent due to death is a tragic thing that nobody deserves to go through, but here I feel like the family is being forced to lose a parent. The interview with the one son showed how his true feelings for his mother and having no concern or cares about being the son of a lesbian couple. Looking at it from the other side, an illegal alien is an illegal alien and that’s a federal law. So I understand her reason of being departed. But really, aren’t there so many other things the United States government could focus its time and energy on. Even things like departing illegal aliens that are increasing crime rates, by trafficking drugs or through whatever means. But the fact that they are departing a mother of a happy family, simply because she is a lesbian and cannot receive citizenship is gut wrenching. I do not know how somebody, whether it the people enforcing this law or even the workers that transported her do not feel awful for what they are doing. What is unique about this is how it contains two huge social issues in our society. These include immigrant issues and same sex marriage or union issues. Neither of these has been resolved yet and I feel the United States has a long way to go until they are. This short film shows that the United States doesn’t really support family units. Yeah there are some perks, but as far as keeping the families together, not much about that. And as this video stated, this affects about 36,000 families so it is not an isolated issue. I guess if I was in part of this situation, I would just move to a state that accepts and provides marriages for gays, I mean makes sense right? I never believed much that if a person married a person in the USA they should be a citizen, but that’s not really the point. In conclusion, I don’t really think a family should have to be categorized as heterosexual or homosexual at all, I mean governmentally speaking, what’s the difference? But again, they should just move to a state that accepts their kind, even if it is a hassle at first, it’ll be worth it in the end.