LGBT Class – Question One

posted by Sam Richards

Any thoughts on this?

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156 Responses to LGBT Class – Question One

  1. dar5081 says:

    In my opinion any couple that would want to adopt a child should be allow to as long as they can create a safe environment for the child to live in. In the case of gay couples I also agree with adopting a kid, in my opinion and from what I know gay couples are great parenting figures providing love and affection to their children. Gay couples have a lot less provability of getting divorce then straight couples therefore I think this is why their house hold is united and completely capable for a family. From the point of the child when he becomes old enough is where I think problems will emerge and not problems regarding the kids being conscious of having gay parents but society changing his view, the reason why I say this is because for example the kid can be completely fine with his parents being gay and to him that’s normal but when maybe interaction with the community in school for example where is classmates might tease him because of his parents and relating that situation directly to him will affect the child and can star many negative reactions focusing his parents and putting them at fault for what society is doing.
    About the question of male gay couples vs. female gay couples adopting children. I think woman gay couples would have the preference in the eyes of society because they can provide that maternal love that a guy cant provide and being important for a child is seen as this. I can say that I would agree with that because no matter how caring a male couple might be the mother intuition is not there which could affect the outcome as a whole, but that’s just my opinion. I try to put my self in that situation and I can honestly say that I would much more rather have a female gay couple as parents then a gay male couple, this may be because I am a dude and I just would find extremely weird having two make gay parents because of my sex.
    Over all I think anyone that wants to adopt a child should be giving that opportunity to do so because it’s great for the children and even more so for the foster parents who have no way of having children of their own. Gay couples and adoption complement one another so well because its couples coming together because of nothing other then love wanting and willing to share it with a child in need, and if our society would be more open to ideas like this and think differently about gay couples this would be even greater and more acceptable which in reality is all they want to be accepted in our communities.

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  2. sosaxydjl13 says:

    When it comes to homosexual couples adopting/raising children, I think the only thing that truly matters is whether or not the couple is fit to raise a child. I think many people may freak out at the idea of gay male couple raising children, but how is it really any different than being raised by a gay female couple. Either way you look at it, you’ll either have no true mommy or no true daddy. I feel regardless of whether a child is raised by an all male or all female couple, the child will grow up in an encouraging environment that promotes self-discovery and individuality.

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  3. j_stark says:

    I don't know who I think would be better parents, lesbian or gay couples. We know that women tend to be the more nurturing of the sexes, but that is when you're comparing a woman to a man. Plus, I've seen just as many "bad" moms as I've seen "bad" dads. I think both types of couples would be generally equally good parents. As long as they are inherently good people and have their children's best interests at heart, it should not matter. For the same reason I want to add I don't think straight couples are any better off at parenting than gay couples.

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  4. oliviak says:

    I feel as though male gay couples can raise children as good as a lesbian couple. I feel as though the only thing that prevents them from succeeding, and them meaning gay couples, is society's stigma against them. Society already feels as though the unholy union between two men or two women can be detrimental to the upbringing of the child, and ultimately influence the child's sexual orientation. When gay men are added to the picture, I think that situation becomes even more tricky. I believe that gay men are more "flamboyant" about their sexual orientation, while women are more subdued, and are naturally caretakers, and parents.

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  5. cmp5134 says:

    It doesn't matter. Everyone on this Earth has the capability to love and care for another human being. It makes no difference in gender. I would assume most people would say women are probably the better choice for same sex parents but I would disagree. I have learned just as much from my father as I've learned from my mother. I've definitely learned completely different things from my mother and father but that doesn't mean that can't happen with same sex parents. They're two different people. And what about families with divorced parents. Some kids only have one parent. There are all different kinds of families out there and I think it's wrong to say that one type of parent is better than another. It isn't about who raises the kids it's about how their raised. And since same sex couples can't make their own baby (without help), they have to make the decision to adopt or artificial insemination, it can't just happen. They prepare themselves for the "burden" of a child, they planned to raise him so they are already in a better position than probably half of the parents in this country. Basically, I don't think it matters if a male or female couple raise a family, both will turn out normal kids if they love him.

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  6. as921 says:

    What I would like to know is if you don’t agree on gay adoption, then what makes them less suitable for caring and nurturing a child then a straight couple? Personally I believe that both gays and lesbians are 100% capable of adopting a child. There is no evidence known that states gay men and lesbians are unfit parents. When you are at that point in your life and you are ready to adopt, it usually that means you are in a devoting relationship and financially stable, they just don’t give out kids to anyone adoption is a very long process. Most heterosexual couples either marry or break up because of a pregnancy which is then considered “unfit” parents. For example take a look at that show 16 & Pregnant, on MTV. Do you really think that since those kids are straight, then they are technically more fit and accepted by society than gay adults willing to adopt. I don’t think gay adoption is anything new. I have several gay people in my family who are currently seeking adoption. My male gay cousin, a lawyer in Manhattan, is deeply in love with a man who is currently enrolled in the MBA program at Harvard. Eventually they want to adopt a child. Obviously, they will be financially stable but what is even more important is that their love for one another is growing exponentially. What really irritates me is the fact that since they are gay men, society tends to believe they are inadequate to support a child. You may say that women have natural motherly instincts but a heterosexual male can be as caring and loving to a child as his spouse. Another issue about gay adoption is the parenting and the burden put on the child. Number one, whatever sexual orientation you are, it has NOTHING to do with parenting. My definition of parenting is giving your child morals, and supporting them physically and emotionally. Number two, there will be no burden put on your child if you raise them with the right morals that everyone is socially equal. If you love and care for them, then they will return it unconditionally and not be ashamed or embarrassed that they’re ONLY parents are gay. There are thousands of children in this world up for adoption who are currently starving, and in harsh conditions. I think the most important issue right now is for homosexuals and straight couples to realize what’s best for these children; to be starving in a third world country having no guidance, or living with 2 loving parents who are willing to give up anything for them. We are all human beings living in this world together; everyone should have equal opportunity for adoption. A child will love and idolize their parents to matter what their sexual orientation may be.

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  7. TDactyl says:

    I really don’t think there is a specific difference between lesbian and gay couples adopting and parenting a child. They both are fully capable of providing for a child just like a straight couple is. I think both straight parents and gay or lesbian parents go through the same growing pains of learning how to care for a child. However, that being said you cannot tell me that a child that grows up in a gay or lesbian family will not face more scrutiny and judgment as they go through life. With the way society currently perceives gay and lesbian individuals it will be impossible for a child of gay or lesbian couple to get the same fair shake as a straight couples child. Is this wrong? Yes, but it is the undeniable truth.

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  8. leah528 says:

    I do not think there is much of a difference between a gay couple and a lesbian couple adopting a child. I have homosexual friends, both male and female. And honestly, I do not believe there is much of a difference between the way a gay couple and a lesbian couple would raise a child. In all actuality, I believe that they may even make better parents than a heterosexual couple. This is because a homosexual couple would most likely be more understanding than a heterosexual couple if their child is going through a rough time. This is because homosexuals often hav problems themselves being accepted into society, so they would better know how to comfort their child.

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  9. smp5120 says:

    I do not think there really is difference between gay and lesbians in terms of adoption, other than the obvious. It is not like the government can or will legalize one or the other. Maybe some think there is a difference because of the sexes. Women are traditionally the care takers and biologically the life givers. I think this would make some favor lesbian adoption over gay adoption. I think children respond to and learn more from seeing love and the way their parents treat each other, than what sex they are. And for those that think its "abusive" for a child to be parented by a same sex couple, studies have shown children from both settings are equal emotionally and socially.

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  10. jmd5280 says:

    This is actually a really good question. It’s a very tough situation in my opinion. In my opinion I feel that people would generally be more open to lesbian couples adopting children. Although it is exactly the same thing, I feel it would be looked down on upon because of the men being gay. In general males get much more shit about being gay, then a women would for being a lesbian. At least I personally feel that they women get it easier then men do in this situation. For some reason lesbians are considered to be extremely hot to some people, while gays are look at like freaks. For some reason I just feel that people would be more expectable to a child growing up in a lesbian household compared to a male homosexual one. I’m curious to see what different states feel about the two different sides, especially with ones that have already legalized it. Generally speaking I feel it would be better off for females because females tend to be much more responsible then dudes. I’m sure there are a lot of irresponsible gay men out there in the world. As far as raising them I feel that they would generally do about the same job. However, female relationships might lack disciple because males generally handle that part of raising children. I feel that men might lack the sensitive stuff that child need growing up, so that might be something that women would be better off. I feel that they might be the only difference between the two different household. I feel that could change the way people might view it. All in all I feel it should be the same view regardless of the sex of the adopting couples.

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  11. The issue regarding adoption for me isn’t between gay males and lesbian females, but who is well equipped and fully prepared for the consequences? If a lesbian couple has thought about it for a while and decided adopting a baby is the best course of action, I have no qualms with it. The same is applied to gay males – if after much consideration a new member of their family is best then so be it. Too many people are pregnant and have no idea what hit them. My friend for example is going through this right now and as I see her go through pregnancy and the realization of all the costs associated with it, I am further grounded in the above statements regarding adoption.

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  12. lukepsu says:

    I don't believe that the sex of the gay couple should even come in to the equation, other factors such as, would the couple porvide a safe, loving environment for the child are more imoportant. Gay couples seeking adoption, whether they be male or female, should be considered in the same way as straight couples adopting. Gay males and females can create just as loving environment as a straight family. Anyone who cannot have a child, but wants one deserves the same consideration, regardless of gender. There is nothing to prove that being raised in a family with two male parents is safer and more loving than two female parents, or vice versa.

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  13. alright i do not see a issue with the whole gay couples adopting as long as the child is in a supported family really. The idea behind an adoption is to make sure that the child gets into a family or gets with a couple that is best suited for his or her life. Lets face it, not that many straight couples are going to be adopting if they could just conceive by themselves. So having gay couples adopt is a wonderful way to make sure these kids that are not a privileged as say people with both parents to actually have a family. I would say they are better off having a family than not having anyone at all. My friend was raised by two mothers, he turned out just fine, maybe even better than if he had his father around. So i say if they can be adopted and still live a normal lifestyle as the rest of us, then let it be. The kids are what matter the most when it comes to adoption so why question it.

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  14. kenthethird says:

    I don't think it matters as long as the parents can assume full responsibility of the raising child. I know I've learned a lot from my father that I would never have learned from my mother, which leads me to believe that a kid would learn more from parents of both sex. BUT Im not saying a child with two mothers or two fathers couldn't learn the same things. I think a father teaches his son things he wouldn't teach his daughter, so it's possible two woman wouldn't teach a boy some of the things a man would teach his son. From my perspective, a father teaches a son more street smarts than his mother. But back to the basic subject of adopting a child, I think adoptions are great as long as the child is taken care of and given the best life possible.

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  15. Personally, I don't see the connection between sexual orientation/preference and adopting a child. Not to mention a difference between lesbian and gay couples adopting. I will admit that about 5 years ago if someone asked me this question I would have felt a little uncomfortable with gay and lesbian couples adopting children, however if you would have asked my reason for it, I had none. I think I, like many people feel uncomfortable with things that challenge standard procedure. When I picture a family I of course picture mine, so therefore I consider a standard family a mother father and a sibling. However, I heard what Sam said years ago which changed my opinion to fully support gay/lesbian couples to adopt children. That is, heterosexual couples can have accidents or unwanted children, but gay/lesbian couples obviously can not get pregnant from sexual acts. Therefore, if a gay or lesbian couple adopt children then they must really want that child or children. I mean, I love my parents and wouldn't want to change how I grew up, but if I were up for adoption and my perspective parents were a gay or lesbian couple versus a hateful unstable heterosexual couple and I had any say in the matter I can imagine that I would gladly pick the gay or lesbian couple to raise me. I feel I could be more assured that they would want me and love me.
    But to get back to the specific question: Gay versus Lesbian adoption, I really don't see a difference. I have heard people say that "I would be more comfortable with two women adopting a child than two men." The only reason that I can think why some people my prefer two women over two men adopting is the "maternal instinct" and at first it seems that traditionally women and children go hand-in-hand, but personally I know some single fathers that have done a great job raising their children in to what society would probably agree turned out to be normal young adults. This really proved to me that men can raise a child just as well as a women. It just comes back to the individuals' personality and if they have a good head on their shoulders if they really want or care about children, that to me is all you need that idea of want.
    Again, if a child has a couple that really wants them and loves them and loves each other than they should be allowed to adopt them. Shouldn't that be how the adoption agency selects the appropriate parents? Shouldn't it be based on a stable couple in a healthy, loving relationship that wants children and not just because a couple consists of a male and a female.
    I think we need to get the idea out of our heads that a family or parents have to be a man and a woman (just like marriage) and focus more on what will best benefit the well-being of the child on a case by case basis. Then I think there will be more support for gay/lesbian adoption.

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  16. katieladie43 says:

    I think if two gay men or two lesbians want to adopt a child that needs a home then more power to them. They have to go through so much in order to adopt a child then they have to be good parents. You wouldn't go through so much legal stuff in order to treat the child poorly. Once they do adopt the kid, they are going to cherish it because it is a miracle they got a child since its physically impossible to produce one. I think it's actually more acceptable for gays to adopt verses lesbians because a woman could have a child if she wanted to get pregnant. Either way I think there are plenty of parentless children so they should be adopted.

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  17. ajb81 says:

    I do not think there is much of difference for what gender the gay couples are as long as they can prove their qualifications for being able to be good parents. It would be a different life if you had two dads or two moms, but I believe that as long as the parents can provide a loving environment and can satisfy the children’s needs then it really does not matter what gender the parents are. Children who are living in orphanages would definitely benefit from being able to live in a home with distinct parents, no matter what their sexuality.

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  18. niatDC says:

    You have to support gays adopting kids. It’s not like there are a shortage of orphans, it’s a shortage of people willing to adopt them that’s the problem. These kids would otherwise not have homes. Just because the parent that adopts them is gay, doesn’t mean their life will be miserable. Gay parents are actually better parents than straight parents are on average (I would guess). They are adopting the kid, meaning they obviously care enough to pay a lot of money for the kid. The kid will be cared for and even though he may get teased throughout his life, at least he was adopted. His/her parents either died or didn’t care to take care of him/her. Therefore gay parents are a definite improvement from what that child would have had otherwise. Many kids of straight parents were conceived accidently or aren’t cared for because the parents were too young when they had them.

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  19. varun2700 says:

    This is a very interesting question as it brings out the age long debate of gender equality. I personally think that male and female genders should be treated equally but there are certain things that men are better at and there are certain things women are better at. like taking care of a child is more of a female activity. I'm not saying that men should not do it, but women are more caring in general, I definitely think that a child needs a woman in his upbringing. I think a mother plays a major role in the personality of a person

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  20. mqp5040 says:

    I think I can see how people see lesbian adoption as the better choice but I personally think it shouldnt matter. I mean the mother is always–by society anyway– deemed as the primary caretaker of a child, so two mothers should be better than two fathers right? I mean I think if you have two loving parents thats better than two not caring supposed normal parents so why is it that there is such an issue. I think gay couples are the ones that absolutely without a doubt want and most importantly are usually the most ready for a child since it such a long process. I think they should be given equal rights– both lesbian as well as gay couples!

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  21. jack_bauer_ says:

    I honestly do not think that there should be any difference between male gay couples adopting children and female gay couples adopting children. In my view, I do no think that either group has an advantage raising a child over the other. I will admit, however, that I am a traditionalist in the sense that I think that the best situation to raise a child in is with both a father and a mother present. But, this is not to say that I do no think it is healthy for a child to grow up with two parents of the same sex. I absolutely think that two women or that two men can raise a child the right way and can raise that child in such a way that their son our daughter will lead a very successful life. The whole idea of having two fathers or two mothers seemed so crazy to me because I had never met anyone who was raised this way. This, of course, was until I came to Penn State. And, furthermore, this was until the first semester of my senior year. Last semester was the first time I met a girl who was raised by two dads. She was in one of my classes, and it was not even until the end of the semester that I realized she came from this sort of upbringing. Throughout the entire semester I had gained a lot of respect for her by the way she carried herself and by how intelligently she spoke about a variety of topics. She seemed like a normal girl, and a girl who was destined to succeed and destined to contribute to the world in positive ways. One of the last classes we had together first semester, our class was visited by students who are part of an organization similar to the gay-straight alliance here at Penn State. This girl in my class raised her hand and opened herself up to everyone to the fact that she was raised by two Dads. She said that she felt that she experienced the same, normal childhood as everyone else in the room and she felt that she turned out ok, just like all of those in the room that were raised by a “normal” family, i.e. a mother and a father. I think that this took the whole class aback, because I do not think that anyone in the class, who did not know her personally, had ever thought that she could have been raised by anything other than a mother and a father. This was when it truly occurred to me that, in the grand scheme of things, it does not matter if two men, two women, or a man and woman raise a child. All that matters is that the parents love their child and do everything in their power to support their child and ensure their well being.

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  22. jtwomey says:

    Are there differences between gay and lesbian couples in the context of raising children? Yes, I think so. Male and female minds work slightly differently and these differences come out in childraising. However, I do not believe that this means that either should be held from raising a child. With all the overpopulation and available adoptions, disqualifying mature able parents from loving and raising an otherwise abandoned child seems absurd. We should let them both adopt children both for the sake of the couples and the sake of the children. It would be better for the entirety of society in my opinion.

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  23. jtomvp says:

    There really isn’t a difference between a male gay couple adopting children and a female gay couple adopting children. People say that women are more nurturing than men are but I think that once someone, even a man, have a child in their life that they are making a commitment to raise, then the stereotype about women being more nurturing than men will disappear. I just think that because of how society thinks of the difference between male and female is the reason why it is set in the minds of many people that it would be best to allow the female gay couple to adopt over the male gay couple.

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  24. badkarma13 says:

    This was a great class just saying. as to the question I think that love and stability are all a kid needs so if they are gay straight or anything adoptive parents should be loving and stable for the kids so in my opinion it makes no difference to me if they are gay men or women who adopt because everyone needs love and thats my only criteria.

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  25. baz5009 says:

    I don’t think that it matters either way. The most important thing in adopting a child is the child. Women have more of a nurturing gene biologically, but that doesn’t mean they would be a better parent to a child than two men would be. There are families all over the world that have single parents, either only a father or only a mother, and people get by just fine. In those cases, the child is more upset at the loss of the other parent than only having a parent of one sex. It doesn’t matter at all. Good question.

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  26. ggmarie123 says:

    First of all, I completely support gay and lesbian couples having children. I think the love and adoration they would have towards their children would be infinite and unconditional. I think gay men and lesbians would be amazing parents. Generally speaking, gay men are considerate, caring, and do have certain “mother instincts.” Most women are also the same way. I do not think there would be much of a difference between gay men raising a child versus a lesbian couple raising a child. To be honest, I think gay parents would be better than some straight parents. With a man and woman, there can be an accidental pregnancy. Having a child may not be exactly what they are ready to deal with at that point in their life. With gay or lesbian couples, they plan and look forward to raising a child together. Their intentions are to start a family and make a wonderful life together, where with the straight couple it is a problem they are learning to deal with.

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  27. phisixfly says:

    It seems that most people are saying that there is no difference between male couples and female couples raising children. First of all, there is a huuuuge difference.

    The female couples can give birth to their own children have their own DNA/blood that they can raise. The male couples are out of luck, unless they find someone willing to give up a year of their life carrying their child. (this can be done without having sex through artificial methods). But I believe we are strictly talking about adoptions here, and there are still differences in the behavior or male and females, which means there is a difference between how children will be raised.

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  28. phisixfly says:

    Also, even if this is not the case, there is a difference between how a kid is raised by a mother and a father. Not to play to the stereotypes between the sexes and the parents, but females tend to be more loving and caring towards the child (show affection) while the father displays strength and firmness. It would make an interesting study, but people who say there is no difference are wrong.

    However, adoption by anyone, gay or straight couple always should be allowed and almost always leads to more good. The child or children getting adopted will have a better life than if they were to live in an orphanage or foster homes and no matter how they were raised, will be loved equally.

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  29. marcoranzi says:

    I really don't see a difference between the two. I know that there are a lot of gay and lesbian couples that want a child more than anything in the world, and I think it is a great way to find homes for tons of abandoned children. For couples that can't not have kids, whether it be because of the same gender or because of a medical condition are usually the perfect suitors of these unfortunate children. A couple that cannot have children for whatever reason will love their children and give them attention like no others. Before the lectures this week by Prof. Samuel Richards about LGBT I wasn't completely convinced of my opinions, but then when Sam told us that there is no greater chance that the gay or lesbian's offspring will turn out to be LGBT, which made my argument complete.

    It really bewilders me how there are still a good amount of people who oppose this great alternative, as well as gay marriage. I know a handful of gay or lesbian couples and they happen to be some of the most nicest and caring people I know. Our country already has massive problems involving race, do we really need something new to come up with something new to segregate ourselves even further? Like one of my fellow classmates said in class, I think the only reason gay marriage isn't completely legal yet is because it won't help people in power get reelected, right now as Sam showed in class over half of the public believe in gay marriage, and the numbers increase when you call their matrimony something other than marriage. Once the rest of the public comes to terms that gay marriage is a good thing and should be in favor of it, then I think full actions with be taken to make it legal.

    Back to my belief that LGBT people are mostly good people. The stereotype that LGBT people are unable to form lasting relationships is blasphemy! They are extremely loyal to their mates and are devoted partners. They are very civil people that have strong values, one of those being a strong emphasis in family life. That means they love each other and can contribute in a positive way to their communities. So why can't they bond in holy matrimony? Because people think it's weird, or they don't feel comfortable being around people that classify themselves as LBGT? Both are horrible arguments to prevent gay marriage.

    The other day while discussing this topic with some friends of mine I heard that people that are married share taxes and have many more benefits than people marked as single. How unfair is that? If I was part of that community I can't even imagine the pain I would feel towards society. It's about time we get used to seeing two men walking down a street holding hands, its 2010!!!

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  30. NicoleFoley says:

    Gay couples take a lot of heat for adoption. To say that one same sex couple would be more equip to raise a child than the opposing sex couple is just ridiculous. Everything depends on the person, on the individual and what kind of person they are. If gays are loving considerate caring people then their qualities may be better then most heterosexual parents. The fact that they are willing to endure the trials and judgments of gay partnership and the rigorous adoption process is an obvious sign that they genuinely wish to care for these children. Now like anything there is always the other viewpoint.
    There can be negative aspects to both sexes raising adopted children. First two lesbian parents: Raising a girl, the girl may be a heterosexual but may find her sexuality confusing when she is used to two women. In psychology the Oedipus concept suggests that in a early age the child will form a sexual attraction to the parent of the opposite sex. From the beginning the young age this girl may form a sexual attraction to one of her female parents if this concept holds true, only causing more confusing for the child. Also if later in her adolescence she has issues with men and heterosexual sexual relations, two lesbians parents may not have the same insight as heterosexual parents. Now if they were raising a boy then his pubescent years would be even more awkward then they already are. How can two females explain the development of a boy.
    The same goes for two male gay parents explaining the menstrual cycle to a pubescent girl, or the judgment that this child will receive in life because his parents are different then all his friends. His social life may suffer just because of his parents, and that is not fair to the child who grew up thinking that his home life was normal. These are a just a few topics that make gay parents a touchy topic.
    Now on the other hand how to single parents raising opposite sex children deal with those same factors. I am sure they face their fair share of struggles with difficult questions too, but why doesn't society look down on them?
    There is not really a legitimate correct answer for any of these questions. There are so many gray areas, so many areas that are loaded with hypocrisy. But the main concept that needs to be accepted that loving people who want to love, who want to be responsible, who want care for another person are the perfect candidate for a parent, and if they are gay then why does that make a difference when it comes to the upbringing of a child who needs love?

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  31. I am in total support of the idea of gay adoption. I feel that there is nothing that a straight couple can do that a gay couple can’t; also sometimes gay couples are more willing to adopt American children where plenty of straight couples go out the country to adopt. Which I think is a silly idea because it cost so much more money and there are so many children that live in America that need homes. And when you compare the children that grow up in gay families with children with straight parents they are not affected emotionally by this and are more open to a gay society. Also homosexuals tend to live in more upwardly mobile neighborhoods and will have the means to support the child emotionally, mentally, and financially. Not saying that straight families can’t do the same for children but I see no real difference in the ways that they raise there children. Also the American Psychological Association states that there is no reliable evidence that children growing up in a gay household will become gay or question there sexuality.

    I know a lot of people argue that children growing up with gay parents will be gay when they are older, but I have a friend who was raised by gay parents and they are straight. They like the opposite sex and do have any homosexual feelings. They are more open to gay relationships and believe that gays should have the right to marry but she is completely straight. So I think that people that believe or think this aren’t looking at facts but just giving there opinion on the situation. In my opinion the laws that prevent gays from adopting should be lifted because they can take in foster children and raise the foster children but they cannot go to the next step and legally adopt the child. Gays should have the same rights as non gay Americans. What I think is really ridiculous about the American adoption system is the fact that it’s hard for single parents to adopt children. There are plenty of single parents that can raise children just as well as a two parent home.

    The only thing that I believe could be a problem in the childs life is there interpersonal relationships. Going to school and making friends could be difficult because of the stigma attached to have to same sex parents. A lot of people won’t be accepting because of the difference. So I feel that this could be difficult for some children to accept because they may have a harder time making friends and having there friends parents understanding and accepting the situation. But besides these minor things I have no problem with gays adopting children and if they are loving and willing and treat that child like there own then they should have the right to adopt.

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  32. nnm5029 says:

    I feel that when people think of the person who is best in raising children they think of a mother. It is certainly the norm in my background as a Mexican. It is really important that a mother be able to take care of the children. I am only leaning this way since it is important to me that my wife would be able to care for my kids since I wouldn’t have the first clue about taking care of kids. I figure since the women bare the children they have the instincts that a father would not. I think of how my parents are with me. I feel like my mother has much more attachment to me than my father. This does not mean that my father loves me less, it just means my mom holds a stronger connection with me since I was in her stomach and she had to push me out of her. However, I feel like that since this has to do with adoption that this would probably mean very little. Since the potential parents are completely involved and want to be responsible for these children, they would make good parents. It would not be a problem unless the parents were unsuitable all together and I feel the system is able to root out all these illegitimate couples. I feel people are more acceptable of lesbian couples since mothers are usually the person you go to when something is wrong. I remember from my childhood that mom was the one person to go to when you wanted attention and love. My Dad was there to ask about personal problems and guiding me in playing sports and becoming a better person. A mother has served as a symbol of love much more than a father. This may not always hold true as I know many single fathers who can wear both hats. They are great men and they show that the job can be taken care of. I just feel that the mother is the backbone of the family and this is expressed through people’s perspectives of what kind of gay couple will serve as the most suitable. I know my mother does a lot to keep my family from growing chaotic. I feel like people would agree with this. I believe that a gay couple can be just as efficient as a lesbian couple. It just may be the thinking that two moms is better than two dads. Dads are usually the ones who are in charge of discipline and being stern. This may not be the case for all, but generally people view the father as the bad cop and the mom as a bad cop. I am sure that a gay couple would have a balance, but to someone who does not understand the couple they would have a tough time of being convinced of this.

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  33. zkehler112 says:

    I personally do not think there is much difference between gay male couples adopting a child and lesbian couples adopting a child. I myself do not have a problem with gay couples adopting children. The only drawback that I see is that the kids do not have a mother figure as well as a father figure. With a gay male couple adopting the children would have two father figures and with the lesbian couple two mother figures. However, considering that they are adopted to begin with, they’re still better off with a gay couple rather than somewhere with no parents. I think that gay couples make good candidates for adoption though, because of everything they have to go through to get a child. They obviously can’t have one on their own naturally so adoption is their only option. You must also take into account that gay couples go through a lot to be together, like large amounts of criticism and laws that forbid their marriage. So, these couples must be in a caring, deep relationship, because if they were not it simply wouldn’t be worth it to them. That ensures that the child would be going to a good loving family and be pretty well off. The way the children are brought up by a gay couple would most likely not be that different from that of a normal child, so I don’t see that much of an issue in that sense. All that being said, I think it would be easier for a lesbian couple to adopt than a gay male couple. I feel that lesbian couples are accepted on a wider basis than gay male couples, so I think that it would be easier for them to adopt than male couples. If two females were walking down the street with a child few people would even turn their head at that, but if two males were walking together with a child it would be looked upon much differently. Times are surely changing and I don’t think all of society is on pace with it which is one reason why lesbian couples could be more accepted than gay male couples. My opinion is that they are the same, but there will always be varying opinions and degrees of acceptance from everyone. As long as that exists there will be a difference between gay male couples and lesbian couples. I think that gay couples are fine if the two people love each other and are dedicated there is no problem with them adopting a child. In most cases gay couples are probably better parents to their children than many heterosexual couples, because it is so much more difficult for them to have children that they would be much more appreciative of it. All things considered I don’t think there is a difference between gay male couples and lesbian couples and I have no problem with them adopting children.

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  34. Dlj13 says:

    I strongly agree that there is no difference between 2 men or 2 women raising a child. Regardless of who is raising the child they will get the same amount of love if not more from there adoptive parents. Although they are of the same sex one will naturally feel a pull to step up and be more caring, nurturing, and loving than there partner. Vice versa the other partner will be like the dad and want the child to possibly be involved in a sport and be the one to play games and will be more aggressive. These traits are the same as if were a man and woman. I think it is a good idea that gay and lesbian couples have been allowed to adopt in certain states. It's giving them the chance to be able to have a family that includes children. That’s not right to deny someone to have kids just because of their sexual preference. People may think that the world isn’t ready for these couples to be adopting children. Some think that a child shouldn’t have to deal with the hurt of others talking about their parents. In my opinion it might make these children stronger in a way because they will most likely have to deal with others passing judgment and ridiculing them. New things aren’t suppose to be easy, when new things that aren’t the norm come about people tend to get on edge and aren’t sure how to react. The first reaction is fear, and how this new thing will affect their lives. Someone has to be the guinea pig in this situation, by putting it to the test it will show how communities will react. As time goes on more and more couples will want to adopt children, and people will pretty much be forced to accept these families. Of course not everyone will be accepting to this just like anything else. That’s why it’s good that more and more men and women are trying to adopt, it shows how serious this topic is to them. These people also can serve as a support system for one another when it comes to getting this adoption law passed all over.
    I really think that people need to realize that it is 2010 and this isn’t the 1900’s when people didn’t speak out as much. Now however we have people speaking out for gay rights and are putting in the effort to see a change. It annoys me when people show hate towards gays it has absolutely nothing to do with them. These men and women are just trying to live their lives just like you and me. We all deserve equal rights, and to be able to express them.

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  35. michael_mora says:

    Yeah, I don’t think there is any difference on how lesbian, gay, or straight couples would raise their children. I think it all just depends on the person and the ideals they choose to impart on their children. My neighbor is actually gay, has his partner, and they have a kid my age and I can say the kid didn’t turn out bad. For starters, the fact that he has gay parents apparently has no effect on his sexual orientation. Secondly, he has way more than I could ask for making him a little spoiled but I mean he doesn’t brag about it, leading me to believe he knows he was just lucky and is well mannered. I actually have hung out with him a few times and from what he tells me, he isn’t bothered by the fact that he has gay parents, however he did tell me that occasionally he gets ridiculed for it, but we both agree that the people who get on him for it are simply assholes.

    On the other hand, my other neighbor (who’s straight by the way) has 2 kids and I have no idea what happened to them. Those two are constantly getting into trouble and when I’m home I always hear them fighting with their parents, cursing each other out, and not to say that I don’t get into fight with my parents, but I mean they really go all out and half the time cops are coming in to see what’s going on. Now, I’m not going to make pretend I’m a saint and don’t do anything wrong either, I do love to party just as much as the next guy but I do think I’m well mannered enough to respect my parents, respect people around me and be smart enough to not get myself into trouble. Going back to the kid with the gay parents, we both go out and have fun but if compared to the the kid with the straight parents, you’ll clearly see we were raised better. So going back to the main point, I think it all comes down to how your parents raise you, no matter what their sexual orientation.

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  36. melzipants1 says:

    I think that any gay/lesbian couples should be able to adopt children. It doesn't matter if the couple is a lesbian or a gay one. I think that people should stop trying to stop people from adopting children just because of their sexual orientation. It will give deserving kids a home that they need.

    I think letting them adopt children is an amazing idea because it will help kids find a home. It will also let kids have a loving home when the straight people won't. If the child is giving a loving home, they will thrive, no matter if they have straight parents or parents that are the same gender. It doesn't matter. Just give them love. That is all they need.

    Children also need a stable home and it shouldn't matter what the parents are. Gay couples can provide the same support and also give their kids more of an education on being accepting of others. They have a better sense of what happens when you are different and they can prepare and help the children. Why do people have to be so afraid of others who are different and make these dumb things up that gay couples can't because they are going to molest the kids? It's ludicrous. People should just take their heads out of their asses and see the bigger picture.

    Since gay couple can't have kids of their own, they will take the unwanted ones and give them a loving home that they deserve. It's just that simple. The straight couples are giving up their kids and it shouldn't matter who the adoptive parents are, they should just be happy that their child is going to loving parents.

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  37. I am all for gay adoption rights whether it's for two women or two men. I think gay people in general should absolutely be allowed to adopt, and if you'll allow that, why differentiate between gay women and gay men? Both are fit to adopt. No matter which sex adopts, there will be the lack of the other. Therefore, the one sex will still have to make up for certain 'mommy' or 'daddy' roles one way or another.

    In general, I just don't see why some people oppose gay adoption. Gay parents are no less of a parent than straight ones are. In fact, they maybe better. As I learned in my HDFS class and I think Sam may have mentioned this in class, gay parents might be better at parenting than regular straight parents because the child/ren is/are more wanted. A lot of children are born unwanted or unexpected to straight parents and that is just impossible for gay parents, and that's one huge factor right there. Gay parent's can't just be like, "Oops, we adopted." So much thought, paperwork, money, and time goes into adopting that not only is it a difficult process but it is also like a true test of whether the child is wanted. At any point the couple can easily give up on the tedious paperwork or the endless wait. So when you see couples – gay, or straight – with adopted children, you can be damn sure that they wanted those children, and you can look at it almost as some sort of accomplishment of a not so easy feat. I admire people who adopt and I am extremely happy when I see gay parents with adopted children. This may be sexist, but I especially love seeing a gay men couple with a little girl. Clearly, they will have to go through a lot and learn a lot of new things that a man may not be familiar with, but they do it and clearly they get through it and they are often more than successful at raising healthy, beautiful people just like any other parents would. Another factor that seems to scare some people is that gay parents raise gay children. It is a myth and that's proven. They do not produce children any different from kids of straight parents. Gay parents may even be working harder at providing the structure, balance, and support for their children to keep everything 'normal.' They are also known to have better, stronger relationships due to increased and better communication. Therefore, they are less likely to break up or get divorced. Now at least take this point into consideration. Tell me that a divorced straight couple is still better than a gay couple who is together. No way. There is no question that children need both parents, and it seems that gay parents may be a little more successful at keeping that promise. And for those who aren't convinced by any of this, at least think about the overpopulation of our globe! Would you really rather have a child be homeless or hopping from one foster home to another, rather than living a stable life with gay parents who really want (and are able to afford more than the average for) the kid? Give it some thought.

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  38. axg5068 says:

    I would have to say that I have never really fully understood the concept of female or male gay couples adopting children because I have never met such a couple before. Therefore, I am unsure of my feelings toward either male or female gay couples adopting children. However, I can make some assumptions regarding these scenarios. I think that both male and female couples may be more likely to be good parents because they are adopting out of their desire to have children rather than say a possibility of “accidentally” conceiving a child. However, despite this fact, I believe that it would be a significantly different environment for any child to live in. I do not know whether the child will be able to receive the different nurturing aspects that both a mother and father can provide from either two fathers or two mothers. So, in that respect I am unsure of the overall ability of gay couples to raise children as compared to straight couples. However, with the progression of society towards more liberal views, I think we will see more such scenarios and hopefully some good studies will be conducted to provide us with good conclusions regarding this key question.

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  39. mat5161 says:

    A couple is a couple no matter if it is 2 males, 2 females, or just a straight couple such as a male and a female. I think that there is absolutely no difference between lesbians and gays having children in every relationship I believe especially with parenting that both parents embrace different qualities that make the marriages work and when raising children. I have heard many arguments on the fact that men are not as nurturing as women and do not provide the adequate motherly love that only women can provide in a child. I personally don’t believe in this. If anyone has a child whether its 2 men or 2 women they can both embrace the “motherly” instinct that needs to be provided during parenting. Other things that I have heard about 2 couples raising a child are that there needs to be a feminine influence and a masculine influence that makes the marriage and parenting work. I think this is somewhat true in terms of making a relationship successful but in all types of couples there is always someone who is more passive and more aggressive. Sometimes in a couple they might both embrace both traits that balance off of each other and this I personally think needs to be provided in raising a child. It just makes the child over all well rounded and helps them in the definition of their personality as well. Studies have shown that a child emotionally and mentally turns out the same when being raised by 2 couples of the same sex or a straight couple. They are both able to provide the same amount of care that a child needs when being raised. There is no difference with whether 2 males or 2 females raise a child. It makes no difference.

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  40. Leannaelbin says:

    First of all I really dont know how I feel about gay marriage let alone them adopting children. I do not mind gay couples at all, but the marriage part is where I am indifferent. That comes from me being a very religious person. I understand both sides of the argument for the adopting part of it. I understand that they can love the child just as much as any other straight couple could, or even sometimes more. I am starting to believe that I am more okay with it now after the lecture that sam gave. The one thing that was holding me back with it is that it would then increase the chances of their child being gay, but Sam said that the statistics show that that is not the case. The one thing that is still holding me back from believing that it should be ok is that the kid could grow up with a lot of hard times with people making fun of them and giving them a really hard time about it. That should not be the case, but we all know there are people out there that would do that.

    Now to go back to the original question that was asked, no I do not think there is a difference between it being males and females. I really dont think whether it is males or females makes a big difference at all. I mean If it were my kid I think I rather choose females, but that is just my own personal opinion. I don't think overall there is a big difference. There are some females that do the cooking, cleaning, and all of those typical motherly things, but I do know some females that cant do those things and the males can, so I don't feel like you can use that as an argument. I think all it really comes down to is how the couple is as a whole. When it comes to adopting a child we all know that the child needs extra love and care. It takes special people to go through the process of adopting. I would hope that if they are willing to go through that, that they would have that special heart to then take that child in as their own and give them all the love and support they need. In the end that is all that matters. I don't think it matters if you are male or female, they can equally love and support a child. Women don't love any better than males do.
    I think after writing this I am kind of convincing myself that I do think they should be able to adopt. It really just comes down to how they are as parents.

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  41. Veggie_man says:

    I believe that homosexuals should be able to adopt children, however I hope they would understand that they are going to put their children in an awkward situation throughout their schooling. There are many kids who would make fun of them throughout their childhood. That being said, if these children were not adopted, in many cases, their lives would not be the best situation. Living in an orphanage is no cup of tea and since there are so few parents willing to adopt, putting these children in any home would be better. For that reason, I believe that homosexuals should have the opportunity to adopt children

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  42. snookie10 says:

    This is a very interesting question. Homosexual couples adopting children is a very controversial issue—especially today. I personally feel that it does not matter who brings up a child, as long as the child is loved and properly taken care of. Therefore, I feel that it should not make a difference if two gay men adopt a child, or if two lesbians adopt a child. Either sex is able of bringing up a child.

    Today in society, I see that more and more people are becoming more comfortable with the idea of non-traditional families raising children. I have many friends who were raised by both a mother and a father. Although this is the “ideal” type of family, they did not have such a happy childhood. For example, many of my friends parents were going through divorces when my friends were younger. Those friends had to experience constant fighting and arguing throughout their childhood. Just because a child is raised by a father and mother does not necessarily mean that they are being raised in a nurturing and healthy environment.

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