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1796156 Responseshttp://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/lgbt-class-question-one/LGBT+Class+-+Question+One2010-02-17+02%3A13%3A21Sam+Richards to LGBT Class – Question One
I personally do not believe that there is really any difference between gay couples, lesbian couples, and even straight couples adopting. Well, there might be slight differences along the way but in the long run they are minor and well worth the trouble. It might be hard at the time for a young child to understand why they have two moms or two dads unlike their classmates, but the fact is they now have some sort of parents. If they were not adopted, they would not be in a stable, providing home that they are now apart of. One of my good friends from home grew up in a two mother home, granted she was not adopted, but she lives a perfectly normal life. You might be caught off guard for the first time you meet her family, but after that initial meeting, it just seems normal. Nothing is abnormal or weird about the situation. She has two loving mothers who were able to come together to provide a happy and fulfilling life for my friend and her sister. It is true that in a lesbian or gay adoption or parenthood, you might not have someone to teach the child typical "mom" or typical "dad" things. But who is to say that a straight dad or mom would be able to teach them these activities anyways? Not all straight males can or would want to go out in the back and throw the pigskin around, and not all straight females would want to take their daughters shopping. And who says that the lesbian mother or the gay father wouldn't be good at teaching these things? There are many athletic, macho gays fathers and well as many feminine lesbians mothers. It is a matter of personality and preference, which is the same no matter what type of marriage or sexual orientation it may be.
Having a gay or lesbian adoption may even bring more awareness LGBT issues to society. Same sex marriages can only adopt in a handful of states in the US. By having some adoptions in same sex marriages, it brings attention to the fact that this process is not legal everywhere else. And for those who support same sex marriage adoption, it can be a big eye opener. They could take action and even help the cause. Liker for me, I had no idea that this was only permitted in a few states, and it really made me think. Why is this? When will it change? How can it change? What can I do?
The simple fact is that children need to be adopted. They need emotional, physical, and financial support. And if there is someone out there willing to spend their own time and resources to provide these things. Who are we to stop them? No matter if they are straight, gay, or lesbian.
I feel there is little difference between a gay or lesbian couple adopting a child. These people need to fight through the justice system to adopt because of the controversy of taboo they face. I would rather see a child adopted into a loving gay couple who have fought hard for the chance to adopt than see a child adopted into a family who does not care for them. Of course, this is between gays and straights. There is absolutely no difference between gays and lesbians in this aspect. What is different if you have two moms or two dads? There is a ton of controversy with adoption for gays because of the later reactions. There are rumors that these children will end up gay and be scrutinized throughout school for have same-sex parents. I feel like this is a load of crap. We should be open to gay adoption regardless of sexes.
My personal opinion is that regardless of gender or race, adoption is an amazing act of kindness. I do not care if its two men or two women adopting a child. I do not really think that it makes too much of a difference. Sure, a child is influenced and shaped by his or her parents; I do not think though that a child is going to be harmed in any way by his or her parents being homosexuals. Who cares really what others think (bullies etc.). If a gay couple wants to be able to have a child and is able to support and love that child than I am all for it.
In the past I have felt very strongly that gay and lesbian couples should not be able to adopt children. I thought that a child growing up with parents of the same sex would be raised in an environment that would be detrimental to them. I thought that a child would be tormented in school and confused through out his or her time growing. However this may still be true, I have come to the realization that by allowing gay and lesbian couples to adopt we have the ability to gain so much. There are so many children across the world in need of a home. Whether circumstances are difficult in the beginning of an adopted child’s life having a loving home for there entire life is much more important. I personally think that homosexuality is genetic so having gay or lesbian parents would not make a child more like to be homosexual. Growing up with such an open mind about sexual orientation may even make a gay or lesbian child more likely to come out about their sexual orientation. This is something that I would think can be very difficult for a gay or lesbian person to deal with and anything that could lift the pressure would be very beneficial. One could argue that relationships between two men or two women may not be as strong as between a man and a women. Which could be detrimental to the raising of a child but some studies have shown that the difficult obstacles that gay and lesbians relationships have to overcome bring them closer together and creating extremely strong relationships. Especially at a time when the divorce rate is at nearly fifty percent. Situations like this have taught me that I need to initially be more open minded. I am surprised that I didn’t even think to myself, the more homes for the children the better. Also now as gay and lesbian marriage is becoming more acceptable and as time goes on it will be easier and easier for children to grow up with same sex parents. The only thing that may still concern me is these children may not have the proper balance of a father and mother figure role in their lives. May the two people in the relationship try to split up that type of role to help raising, I am not sure. As I am moving towards life in the real world I think that I should look more into how same sex relationships are affecting our culture. I would not like to get into a business situation that could turn out bad for me because I was ignorant to same sex life. As we move toward strong gay rights I am interested to see what will happen with same sex marriage adoption.
Our sociology class on Tuesday raised many questions and caused some controversy between the students of Sam Richards. In my opinion, the most interesting question that is on this blog is what people’s views are on a gay male couple adopting children versus a lesbian couple adopting children. I can understand why some people believe that neither should have the option to adopt children as their own, but I completely disagree. I think that both gay male couples and lesbian female couples should have the option to adopt children if they choose to do so. They should each be given a fair chance, and gay men or lesbian women should not have the upper hand over one another. Gay couples (both men and women) feel just as strong about having children of their own as straight couples who are able to reproduce and have children. These couples would care for their children as their own, and provide them with the necessary things that are needed to raise a child. Just because people are gay does not mean that they would not be able to raise children and teach them how to become an active and good-hearted individual in society. As Sam said in class, I believe that gay and lesbian couples would take much pride in raising their children and provide them with unconditional love and support because they truly want a child. Gay and lesbian couples don’t “accidentally” have children. They are obviously unable to produce children of their own and by adopting a child and taking them into their care, they are showing dedication and the will to provide a stable environment for their children. Straight couples sometimes accidentally become pregnant with children because it is much easier (and actually possible) to do so. Therefore, we often see families who cannot support their children in the way that they should be supported. On the other hand, when a gay and lesbian couple decides to bring a child into their lives, they are fully aware of what needs to be done in order to be great parents. Gay and lesbian people are exactly the same as heterosexual individuals, except for their sexual orientation, and should be given the same opportunity to raise a child as a straight couple. If we forget about sexual orientation and put aside the fact that gay and lesbian people cannot become pregnant with a child of their own, we see a group of people who are equal to straight couples and desire a family just like everybody else who has children. If a couple is willing to care for a child and provide a secure upbringing to that child, then I don’t understand why people would be against gays and lesbians adopting children of their own.
I think that Gay, Lesbian or straight, a homeless and parentless child needs a family. Their sexual orientation should not matter as to whether or not they can adopt a child, but in this world, unfortunately, it does. So in my personal opinion there should not be a difference in a man or a woman couple adopting a child. It’s sad enough that children need to be adopted in this world.
A lesbian couple may have it easier as to adopting a child or children. Naturally we look at women as “Mothers” and “caretakers”, and there’s no problem with that. There is that Mother fulfillment they need to feel, Lesbian or straight. So by saying it may be easier for a Lesbian couple to adopt a child, I mean that people can trust a woman more with a child it seems. That the woman is more caring, loving, the Mother pretty much. And I’m not saying that men are bad parents, not at all, or don’t do any of those things, all I’m saying is that it seems much easier to give a child to a woman couple than a man couple. That doesn’t make it right, a Gay couple and a Lesbian couple should have an equal chance.
A gay couple may have it harder to adopt a child. It seems like people are hesitant to give two men a child. Why? Men are just as caring and loving parents as a straight couple would be. A Gay couple may even be better at raising a child than some straight couples. In my life, I have two older Gay friends who are a couple. Years ago they adopted two African American brothers. From what I have heard, they did have trouble getting the boys, it was a process. Primarily because they are a Gay couple. Today, the boys are grown up and one just had a baby girl. They grew up wonderful. Educated, loving, spoiled, and gentlemen. What more can you ask for? So there, a Gay couple is a good couple.
A parent is a parent. Men or woman shouldn’t be a difference. It’s sad that children who are in need of a home can’t have that because of who wants to adopt them. And it’s even more sad that it may just be easier for a Lesbian couple to do that. We are all equal, and I support the Gay community. I have friend’s who are Bisexual, Gay, and Lesbian, and I’ll tell you what, they are the most beautiful people inside and out. No one should underestimate them or judge them, because you will be surprised. Like I said, we are all equal; we should be given equal opportunity.
Like most bloggers have previously said, there should be no difference between a gay couple and a lesbian couple adopting a child. However, the problem lies within our society. When raising a child, it is theory that the mother is the primary caregiver. Society has given women the role of raising the children. We think that women possess this internal motherly instinct. So it’s no wonder that it would be easier for lesbians to adopt a child. In a sense, it may appear that the child is lucky to have two mommies. Although some men are more caring and responsible than females could be. It is more shocking for society to see two men with a baby. My boyfriend’s best friend has a baby girl. Whenever the two of them go out together, people often assume they are a gay couple with a baby. They get a lot of disoriented looks from people and are often questioned about when they adopted her. Firstly, it would not be anyone’s business if they were gay and had a child. Secondly, if they were actually a couple, they would make awesome dads together. If a child is loved and cared for, why is sex an issue? For children growing up with same sex parents, it is not an easy task. Kids can be really cruel to one another and be ridiculed because they have gay parents. I don’t think there would be a difference for a child to have two mommies vs. two daddies. It also is not just an issue of children teasing one another. Their motives come from the opinions of there parents. If adults instill the idea that every family is different then there would be no issue in adoption for gay couples. Being a man or a woman does not make you a good parent. Agencies should no discriminate a couple based upon if they are homosexual males or females or heterosexual. They should look at the morals and values of the couple. The main purpose of adoption should be to provide children with the best life possible. Is it really better to keep children in orphanage or foster home rather than give them to a same sex couple? Two gay men who desperately want a child to love and raise should have the right to have a child. They should not be denied because of their gender or sexual orientation. Love does not discriminate so neither should people.
I do not think there is a difference between adoptions for lesbian couples and adoptions for gay couples. I think as long as the children are being supported emotionally, physically, and financially, it really does not matter who is doing the adopting. A lot of people fear that despite what is in the child’s best interest, a child of a gay couple may be taunted and teased. I think this may be a problem, but on the other hand, a lot of kids are taunted and teased. As long as the child is well taken care of and supported by his or her parents, I really think he or she will be okay. Also, I think it is better for the child to be in an extremely loving home with gay parents than in a less loving home with straight parents, or no home at all. Even outside of the United States, there are many children that could really use two amazing moms or dads! Interestingly, there is evidence to suggest that children raised by gay and lesbian parents may be better off in the long run. This has a lot to do with gender roles and expectations of the sexes. In gay and lesbian households, the gender roles are a little blurrier. The parents will take on each of these roles a little more equally, so there is no pressure for the child to conform. Additionally, people who have both male and female traits (i.e. competitiveness and compassion), have shown to be more well-adjusted adults.
I do not think there is a difference between male gay couples and lesbian couples adopting. I do not think one pair would be better parents then another. I also see no difference than with either of them raising a child compared with a male and a female. I honestly do not at all understand why people feel that gay couples should not be able to adopt a child. Who is to say that child will suffer? There is no proof. These children will grow up with as much or even more love than they would if they had not been adopted.
Many children would be better of if they were adopted by these couples. There are teenage moms that get pregnant everyday and keep these babies. Take my cousin for example. My cousin Jessie became pregnant at 17. She ended up getting married simply because of the child and ended up not being able to go to college. Now at 21, she has 3 children and living at his parents house because they do not have enough money to afford one of their own. I'm not saying that every teenager that gets pregnant will lead this life. What I am saying is that if she can have 3 children, why can't a gay couple adopt one when they are probably more financially able to support a child.
It's sad to see many children born into families where the parents are not ready (be financial reasons, age, or any other number of reasons). Many of these parents keep these children. If they attempted to adopt a child, would they be able to? Isn't it sad that just because a couple is straight and they accidentally get pregnant, they can become parents, and a gay couple can't? They have to go through the long, and tiring process of adoption (I've seen another family go through this).
Over the summer, I work at a kid's camp. This past summer we had 2 children who came from lesbian families. Their mothers were all completely involved in their lives. They came to the picnic and talent show, paid their dues on time, and were always there to pick their children up at the end of the day. If you didn't know their parents were both gay, you would never know. Both girls were normal, healthy individuals. As far as I could see, they were not suffering in the least bit. They lived their lives just like anyone else.
If these couples are willing to adopt, why not let them? These children will be able to experience a loving home. My only hope is that as further generations open up more to other ideas, this is one that sticks. These people are no different than you and me. There is no reason they cannot become parents.
I think there is absolutely no difference between gay men and gay women adopting children. Like Sam said in class on Tuesday, gay people who want to adopt kids really want a child more then anything and will cherish this child. It does not matter if these people are men or women, they are all equally able to parent. I have a gay uncle. I have known his partner since I was born and I know the two of them would be great parents. I think again Sam’s argument works for the male versus female argument as well. It is going to be tougher and frowned upon for two men to adopt a child, and therefore their desire for a kid must be extraordinarily high.
Honestly, I really don’t think there is that much of a difference between a gay couple adopting a child and a lesbian couple adopting a child. If it were my child, I’d probably personally want him or her adopted by a lesbian couple only because women tend to naturally be more nurturing and caring. Either way, I’m sure a child will have a great life despite the sex of his or her parents. The only thing that really matters, and this holds true for heterosexual couples as well, is that there is a strong and stable connection and love between the two spouses that provides for a healthy family dynamic.
Since this an extremely controversial issue within our society today, I have been able to hear and listen to many different opinions about it.
On a personal note, my family has experienced gay adoption. My dad’s first cousin is gay and is married to his partner. They have been together ever since I was little and I never really thought anything of it. When I got a little older, I obviously started to understand what their relationship was and what it stood for. I didn’t have a problem with it because I was so used to it and they were apart of my family- so what’s the big deal? They were constantly around my cousins and I and are two of the nicest, fun people I know. Within the past 5 years, they have adopted 2 daughters. Of course, it’s a little unfamiliar for me to think of how these girls can grow up having two fathers and never experience a relationship with their mother or a mother figure within their lives. Especially when they grow up- who can talk to them about puberty and about protecting themselves sexually? That is a long while away but it is something that is evident to me now. I don’t think that gay nor lesbian adoption is better than the other…but I do think that each has it’s own pros and cons. Ironically, my cousins are best friends with a lesbian couple with two kids of their own. They live close to each other and hang out all the time. I guess they also feel that it’s important for their kids to experience having a close maternal/paternal relationship with someone in their lives. I believe it’s important as well and think it’s going to be beneficial for the kids down the road. The two little girls that my cousins have adopted are so outgoing and are loved so much within our family. It is a great feeling to know how happy they are and that they were saved through the adoption process since their blood family was unable to care for the,. They are always dressed extremely well and are spoiled during the holidays and other days of the year to know they are loved and apart of our family. However, as a teenage girl myself, I wonder when the age will be when they realize that they have “gay” parents. Do they know now? Will it truly effect them? I don’t think they are at an age yet where they can be that observant to this detail. I think that I will continue to believe that although their fathers will bring them up and continue to help them grow into young women, it will still be vital for them to maintain a strong female relationship with someone in their lives.
I think that it’s absolutely great that gay and lesbian couples are able to adopt kids and give them the lives they deserve and more. I don’t think that either one is “better” but again, I think that they each have their pros and their cons- in the most positive way possible.
I think that both gay and lesbian couples should be able to adopt if they want too. I think Sam made a really good point the other day in class. It makes sense that with gay and lesbian couples, they cannot just accidentally have a child. This means that if they want a child, they have to really want one because of the intense adoption process the couple will face. I think that any couple who can provide a loving home should be able to adopt a child. I don't think it matters whether the couple is straight, gay, white, black, or pink. I think that anyone who is willing to give a child the world should be able to adopt regardless of his or her sexual orientation.
I was watching "True Life" I have Gay Parents and it was interesting to learn and see the real life of how it was to have gay parents and how the adopted children felt about having parents who were gay. The teens in the documentary were thoughtful, insightful, and—dare we say—well adjusted, and these portrayals support the positive statistics about kids with gay families. Like for example, I read in one of my classes about a recent Tufts University study which found that children who are raised in same-sex families have no difference in gender identity, sexual orientation, or emotional issues than their peers from heterosexual households.
Interestingly, the Tufts study also found that children from gay families might be better off developmentally, exhibiting higher self-esteem, better behavior, and fewer incidences of mental illness and emotional disturbances. This trend is definitely due to the open-mindedness and stoic attitudes that many gay people must adopt in order to survive in a discriminatory world. Gay parents know what it's like for people to reject them for who they are, so they make sure their children are instilled with this value of being accepting of others as well as of themselves. These are the main reasons why I am totally for lesbian AS WELL as gay men adopting other children equally because they are seeking a child to love and to care for so they are willing to give their all into giving their child the best home they can possibly give. Gay parents, all whether lesbian ot gay men, should not be judged at all if they want to adopt a child. All power to them!
Why people are more comfortable with lesbian parents adopting over gay male parents is something I have questions many times. With me, I see any gay couple willing to adopt as a positive thing. One explanation I have on why gay male parents are less accepted than lesbian parents goes back to the idea of why lesbians are more accepted than gay men. I think people see lesbian couples as more motherly because they are female and females are naturally motherly. Many people are already disturbed by gay men couples and are against what they do intimately that they feel that if they bring a child into the picture, that child will be exposed to that in a negative way..
Maybe I am just assuming these things but its some kind of explanation for why people may be more comfortable with the idea of lesbian couples adopting over gay male couples. I will forever be for the idea of gay couples adopting and will have equal respect for a gay male couple than I have for lesbian couples.
I think gays and lesbians are perfectly capable of adopting a child and raising them well, but perhaps lesbians are better suited to raising children because of the motherly instinct that lies in women. Then again perhaps that gene lies within men too, but how often have you heard a fatherly instinct?
In any situation, women tend to be more highly regarded as the best in raising a child. If there is a separation or divorce, most times the child goes with the mother because mothers seem to be able to provide more. Even in the animal kingdom, baby animals only hang around their mother and not the father. Why is that? It is because the mother can provide for them better than anyone else. So when it comes to gay and lesbians, I think it would be easier for lesbians to adopt than men.
Just think about it. If some people think it is better for the mother to care for a child, then a child who has two mothers is set for life. Only trouble is when the kids are teenagers. It would be teens with hormonal issues vs. two mothers with their time of the month. Their be a boxing match once a month in those households. That’s probably not true, but it does make one wonder how that would work out.
For gays, it seems harder because of the fact it’s two guys. It is hard to argue otherwise, but that is about the most general reason behind it. The mother instinct just isn’t there, at least to some people. I feel either or, the child is still in good hands regardless whether its two men or two women as the parents. The real issue is States allowing adoption, which some do not.
But here is something interesting I found. This is an article from the Times Online in the United Kingdom. The article is from November 2009. Here is an excerpt from it.
“Stephen Scott, director of research at the National Academy for Parenting Practitioners, told a meeting last week that the latest research showed that children of such couples did better in life.
Speaking at the launch at the think tank Demos of a report on the influence of character on life, Scott said: “Lesbians make better parents than a man and a woman.”
His arguments are supported by experts who have found, over years of research, that children brought up by female couples are more aspirational and more confident in championing social justice. They show no more tendencies towards homosexuality than the offspring of heterosexual parents.”
Based on this guys findings, if a child had the choice to be adopted by either a gay or lesbian couple, they better put down lesbians as their preference. However, this article doesn’t really make argument that lesbians are better at being a parents than gays, but the only argument I heard in favor of gays is that the children only become more tolerant to other gays. I don’t know, it doesn’t really matter to me.
I do not see a large difference between male and female couples adopting children. Though I do think it is important for children to have both male and female role models in their lives, these models do not necessarily have to be only their parents. A family should be a support system which spans far beyond just parents and children. There are a lot of issues surrounding gay adoption, but the bottom line is that children need positive family systems, a trait which is not dependent on parental sexuality.
Today there are plenty of children who are raised by only one parent. How is this more acceptable than being raised by two loving parents who were both obviously interested in adoption? As Sam said in class, gay couples never have kids by accident. Adoption is a long process, where potential parents are thoroughly screened and approved by many different social workers and adoption agents. If all parents were required to go through this screening before having children, we would likely have far fewer dysfunctional families and childhoods in our society.
I know that lesbian couple adoption happen more frequently, perhaps because of women’s internal motherly instinct. I do not think, however, that gay male adoption is a problem. Having two positive role models in one’s life is more than what many children with straight parents can say. If we focused more on finding parents who want to raise children and provide them with the best opportunities, support systems, and love possible, the question of sexuality would become a far smaller issue.
Furthermore, I agree with an above point that having homosexual parents does put an added strain of a child. There are a lot of factors, however, which put strain on a child. In my opinion, if somebody is raised with loving parents who explain to them that it is okay to be whoever or whatever you are, then that person would have the power to ignore any ridiculous comments about their parents. Having gay parents is no different than having straight parents. It is not about your parents’ sexualities which makes your childhood good or bad. It is about how they treat you, and how they prepare you for the world and the cruelties you will face no matter what your home situation may be.
It is hard for me to understand why people are so against gay adoption. If gays are interested in having children and willing to go through the difficult process to adopt them, then I am confident they will make good parents. Let’s worry more about the teenage girls, single parents, and dysfunctional families with children, and less about those who are fully prepared and highly interested in having a child.
I think that gay couples in general would make better parents. The heterosexual divorce rate is about 50% today, and much lower for gays because they have a much bigger emotional bond, they are better at expressing their feelings to each other. I think it'd be natural for people to feel that lesbians would be better adoptive parents because women in general appear to be better caregivers. However, for two men wanting to adopt, they must be excited and willing to engage in those children's lives. I think that neither gay men nor lesbians would necessarily be a better set of parents. The relationship between the parents matters, but it's not all that matters.
I do not think that there is any significant difference between adoptions between gay and lesbian couples. There are all different types of families that influence children. Some children have single parents, live with grandparents, or are even living with extended family members. Like Sam said in class most of these same sex couples are usually the most loving parents because they have wanted to have a child for so long. Also, they have to go through the rigorous adoption process, which is even harder for them because they are a homosexual couple. They will have planned for this child for so long that will absolutely do everything for that child. On the other hand with some heterosexual there are unplanned pregnancies. This does mean that those couple love their children any less, but it just insinuates just have much adopting a child means to these couples.
I think that it is also safe to say that all of these couples understand more than anyone else how important it is to have unconditional love and support. With the scrutiny that these individuals have had to face in their daily lives they will never put that on their children. I would imagine that they would be extremely open to what their kid want to do and participate in. Unconditional love and support would allow for their adopted child to thrive in an ever-changing world.
With this said I think that have two moms or dads would not make a difference in the amount of love that the child would receive. However, I do not think that the adoptive agencies think the same way. It seems to me that two women would have a lot better chance of adopting a child then two men. This would have definitely been true for two feminine gay men. I think most agencies would look at that couple as being a threat to the child’s well being. The underlying thing that at child needs is a safe, supportive, and loving home life. There is no study proving that two men can not do as good of a job then two women, so there is not reason to favor one sex couple over another.
Who has the power to say that one sex is better at raising a child? Granted women have the anatomical body to be a child carrier, but that does not mean that they are going to be good parents. The best parents are going to be the ones that love their children with everything they have to offer, and that can not be measured by which sex the couple that adopting is. So in a perfect world there should be no discrimination against homosexual couples, and then gay versus lesbian. Our world is not there yet, but we are working on getting to the equality that all human beings deserve.
My original opinion about this subject was that it is probably more natural for a lesbian couple to adopt a child considering the assumption that women are naturally more nurturing than men. It would probably be less unusual for a kid to grow up with two moms than it would be for them to grow up with two dads. And I’m not entirely sure why but it’s just how I felt. Maybe it’s because you usually see women raising kids on their own. You rarely ever hear the term “single dads,” not to say that there aren’t any, they are just much less common. I also think many people would have issues with two gay men raising a child, specifically a boy. This may go along with the idea that more people are accepting of gay women than gay men, who knows. But for whatever reason, I originally thought that I condoned lesbian adoption more than gay male adoption.
But then I began thinking about how difficult it is for any gay couple to receive a child for adoption. And that if ANYONE goes through all of that, waiting years to receive a child; then they’re probably going to be incredible, loving parents no matter what their sexual orientation or background is. The more I thought about that the more I realized that out of anyone, gay couples deserve the respect of society for being parents and raising a child more than anyone. I also don’t understand why it is so difficult for a gay couple to be accepted for adoption. There are hundreds of thousands of kids without homes, why are we turning people down because of their sexual orientation? I know a teacher of mine wanted a child more than anything and it took her years to adopt a little girl from China because she wasn’t married. Even if you had something against gay individuals, wouldn’t you rather a child have a home than nothing at all? This is someone’s life, and I know there are studies on children raised by a gay couple (be it male or female) that show there is no difference between them and a child raised by a heterosexual couple. There are thousands of kids going from home to home because the foster care system in our country is failing. And from my knowledge, most gay couples are very financially stable and responsible.
On a random note; it is sad to think that two heterosexual people who just met could have a child in nine months without wanting it or planning it. And it could take a gay couple who want nothing more than to be parents ten years on a waiting list to receive a child.
Up until this class, I had always said that I thought that two gay parents adopting was okay, but now I truly believe it. I felt like maybe I was just saying it before because I didn't give it much thought, or didn't really care, but this class opened my eyes to the reasons why it should be okay.
Like Sam said in class, gay couples that want to adopt are doing so because they desperately want a child. It's not like some couple accidently got pregnant and oops now they are stuck with a kid for 18 years. Gay couples, and even straight couples that want to adopt are doing it because they actually really want to be good parents and provide for their kids. To me, being in a family isn't about the roles, i.e. mom, dad, son, daughter, it's about loving each other and learning from one another to grow closer. Love knows no gender, especially when it comes to family.
A constant issue that comes up with a gay couple adopting is "this child isn't going to grow up with a dad (or mom)." Well the reality is that that statement holds true to about half of the children already. There are single moms and dads raising children all over the world. In my opinion, gay couples are probably so much better off at raising children than single parent households, or even divorced parents. There is so much speculation on how the child is going to turn out with gay parents, but look at the effects that divorce can have on young kids!
We also talked about in class how a child with gay parents doesn't have more of a chance of becoming gay than a kid with straight parents. After Sam said this I actually thought that a child would have even less of a chance because they would be seeing what their parents would have to go through. Although gays are becoming more accepted in today's society, I think that kids would still see and hear a lot of negative comments growing up. Either way though, gay couples should have an equal chance at adopting as any other couple. Just because they are gay, doesn't mean they can't provide shelter, food, and LOVE like any other parent, right?!
I think Sam proposed a seriously valid point that many kids are subjected to not the most ideal parenthood. This leaves these children with less opportunity for success. Many of the links from class clearly display that more promising parents generally lead to more success including higher salaries, better jobs, and more economic stability. This generally leads to happiness for the children. I believe that if the situation was that there was a child who was being disregarded it would be in his best interest to be left in the hands of any parents.
I agree that a couple of two men or two women would be a good set of parents with great intentions for the child. I believe they would give the child the best attention as possible. They would treat the adopted child as they were there natural son or daughter. This would be really good in all for the child. These non-biological parents are a much better option for the kid and would benefit the child. Especially if the biological parents want no part of the kid if he or she was an accident and is ignore the kid may end up in jail or worse.
Now I would just like to offer the devil advocates point of view. Currently gay marriage is heading in the right direction towards acceptance. The older and more intelligent people become the more willing they are to accept gay and lesbian marriage and ownership of kids. It is the uneducated and lower class part of the American society in my opinion who are anti-gay. These people don’t accept the fact that gay parents are better than themselves at parenting the children. This fact is the same with elementary students. These kids think gay and lesbian jokes are funny and would ridicule a kid with “two moms or two dads”. As a pre-teen my feeling is this student would be made fun to the point that the youth couldn’t handle the situation and it could get extremely bad. This kid may have the feeling of such disappointment. There is nothing worse than a kid getting made fun of at a young age which can hurt his or hers confident for the rest of their life. But for a kid to be ridiculed about his or her parents would be crushing for the kid. The parents are children’s backbone for problem and if the kid is getting ridiculed about his or her parents it can get very bad.
The real question is would a child be more beneficial with his of her biological parents who are abusive or with adopted parents who are gay or lesbian and many people have their own opinions but I think the clear cut answer is the same sex parents would lead to a much more successful set of parents for the kid and a more promising future.
Well I am disappointed in the discussion on Tuesday because there was so much to talk about and Sam only hit the tip. Yea we ran out of time but I thought he was going to hit a lot more. When it comes to me, I am pretty conservative. I do not care what gay or lesbian couples do as long as it is not around me. If gay couples want to adopt than why not. It would be better than living in an orphanage I could guess. And those children will probably grow up as better people who are more accepting of other people’s sexuality, and maybe also race and religion. There are too many factors to really think about. Maybe the parents raise the kid to trust no one and only look out for themselves. Basically any factor that could happen with a gay or lesbian couple could also be a problem with a straight couple. The one thing that worries me is a gay couple forcing their feelings with the children. Certain feelings should come to a child naturally, I mean my parents never even gave me the sex talk so I can’t really say anything but a kid should not think about unless he asks his parents, or it gets to that obvious point.
I also want to state something I said in my discussion group. A lot of the things Sam says do seem pretty obvious to most of us, maybe even to the point of common sense, but that is because we are all college educated students. I’m sure most of the posts on this blog are “I can’t believe people are still against gay marriage.” There are still a lot of people who live with blinders on. And politics do not want to pass gay marriage because they do not want to lose all of those donators and voters. I am sure most politicians do not even care, like me. There is only one thing I do not trust, and this is just me being me. Let’s say I have a wife and a kid and I live in a neighborhood and my neighbors are gay. I really do not care about them being gay but if they are talking to my kid and telling him how being gay is great, than that is where I cross the line. It may sound bad but I do not care. Like I said before, it should be natural and obvious, would you want any of your straight neighbors explaining sex to your own kids? I do not think so. So to answer the girl’s question. Go ahead gays, you can do whatever you want.
I agree with the majority of the comments. I think that there are so many children out there who would do anything to have a family that I don’t see the problem of gay couples (female and male) adopting children. The children would definitely have better lives in the homes of gay parents than in orphanages so why not let them adopt?
And I guess that if you are comparing lesbian vs. gay couples, perhaps the main difference would be in what they can provide for the children. I think that the combination of the roles of a mother and a father are important when raising children. So I guess one of my concerns would also be the idea of children not having a mother or a father just because sometimes girls and boys like to go their mothers for certain things that they might understand better than their fathers and vice versa. But in all honesty, in the end I don’t think any of that matters. I think that as long as there is balance between the parents, and they are loving, supportive and motivational influences for their children I don’t think that there should be a problem.
I guess I would partially agree with the idea of waiting for society to become more open about gay couples adopting children. I think that waiting for society to accept it would be beneficial for the sake of the children who will be teased, but I think that it’s going to be a long time until society becomes completely ok with that idea. I don’t think we can always just wait for society to change; we have to make it change. If other people have a problem with gay couples adopting children that is their problem. Unfortunately, the children and gay parents will face discrimination but children get teased all the time for so many reasons, whether it’s the color of their skin, their accent, their stature, you name it. I think what is important here is to perhaps implement programs in school about acceptance. I think it is extremely important to teach these things at an early age. Having a class similar to this one, but in an elemental level I think would help solve so many hate and violence problems in schools.
I don’t usually use TV shows as examples, but I’ve started to watch this sitcom called Modern Family. The show talks about the daily lives of three families who are all related. The older father has two children, a daughter and a son. His daughter is married to a man and his son is gay and is married to a guy and they have just adopted a little girl. The gay couple seems like a really loving family and sometimes in the show they will show the reactions that they will get from other people and sometimes their own family. Overall I think it is great that they are showing these types of TV shows, because I feel that they will help make the idea of gay couples and gay adoptions more socially acceptable.
In my own opinion I do not believe there is a difference whether two gay guys want to adopt a baby or child, or if two lesbians want to adopt a child. They both should have equal rights to obtain a child. Maybe some people may feel that women are genetically made to be a nurturer and caregiver. Therefore some people may believe that with lesbians, there are two mothers and therefore will be great at raising a child. People may think that they are more fit for adopting and raising children. I believe that men can equally be nurturing and take care of a child or many children just as well as straight people or lesbians. Both gays and lesbians should be able to adopt just as easily as straight people. I do no know a great deal of adoption but from what I hear it can really be a strenuous process with paper work and all. So why does the whole process have to be extra tedious for gay or lesbian couples wanting a family. In my discussion group we got into a great detail on homosexuals having children. As a group we agreed unanimously that we felt that homosexual couples should be able to adopt, without question, just as if a straight couple was trying to adopt. As long as they meet all the qualifications that anyone and everyone else does, they should not be judged by whether they are homosexual or heterosexual. Also my discussion group agreed that homosexuals should be able to adopt with out a problem because going through the process is intense but these people ACTUALLY want to have a child. A straight person can easily become parents for the most part unless they have some issue where they cannot, but also a straight person has to worry about those “accident” pregnancies. How is it fair that teenage girls have babies to whom some of them do not even care and raise that child in horrible conditions? Yet on the other hand homosexual couples that really want a child, provide for them, and have a child become a part of their family, yet can’t due to the discrimination toward gay and lesbian couples. It is just really frustrating, even being a heterosexual person, because homosexuals have such problems trying to create families. They should be able to have the same rights as any other person. I do feel that both gay men and lesbian women should be able to adopt with out any problem. I think they would both be capable of raising a child. I do not believe that on couple is more right than the other. I only know of one of my friends who have come from a homosexual family. This kid had two moms, I never really asked questions about if they had difficulties adopting or anything, but I think it would definitely be interesting to hear their story as well as their child’s story on growing up and raising a child with two moms. I just wish that more people were not as homophobic and accepted the fact they want families too just like any straight family.
I think there is no difference between male couples and female couples adopting children. I think Sam hit the nail on the head in class on Tuesday when he said that since adoption procedures are stringent, every gay couple that adopts actually wants a child where some children from straight couples may be unwanted. I really don't think theres a real difference between a straight couple or a gay couple raising a child. It might even be better because the children may be open to different lifestyle
I agree with the majority of responses so far that there should not be a difference between gay and lesbian couples adopting a child. As long as the couple is physically, mentally, and emotionally strong enough to properly raise a child, then who the heck cares what the couple’s sexual orientation is? I believe some homosexual couples even turn out to be better parents than heterosexual couples. Any couple that really wants a child should be able to have one; they are all equally deserving.
I guess I am also saying that if gay and lesbian couples should be equally able to adopt a child, then they should also be allowed to get married. I support homosexual marriage 100% because I believe that love is love, and if you happen to be attracted to someone of the same sex, then so be it. Just because there are religious values that do not support same-sex marriages doesn’t mean that everyone should feel this way. If your religion says you can’t marry someone of the same sex as you and you believe that, then don’t! Marry straight, but don’t judge homosexuals just because you wouldn’t do it yourself. After all, this is a free country – we should be allowed to be attracted to whom we are attracted to. This concept of gay/lesbian marriage is related to gay/lesbian adoption because they really go hand in hand. If one is okay, than the other should be okay, too.
Although I believe there is no difference between gay couple adoptions versus lesbian couple adoptions, I can see why some people would favor one over the other. I think the majority of people who believe there is a difference would favor lesbian adoptions because of the “women are primary caregivers” stereotype. Many people see women as the ones who stay home to clean the house and take care of the children, while the men go to work to make the money to pay the bills. So if two women have legal rights to a child, then there is potentially double the care. Those who favor gay adoptions may do so because of the fact that if a gay couple is pursuing adoption, they must REALLY want a child for obvious reasons. And those people who are completely against the act of homosexual couples adopting a child should keep that thought to themselves and let these couples do what they want to do, as I mentioned before. If you’re against it, then just don’t do it!
I think that once our society begins to recognize that some people are indeed attracted to the opposite sex and they start to accept this fact, this issue of homosexual adoption will no longer exist. I think this situation is in our foreseeable future; it’s just a matter of our society becoming more understanding of people’s differences.
This is a really tricky issue, and I can see it both ways. In terms of lesbian vs. gay adoption I don’t really think that there is a difference. I think that the issue is gay adoption in general, meaning adoption by two men or two women. On one hand, I see no reason why it shouldn’t be allowed. There are so many children out there without home or with parents who can’t properly care for them, and if a gay couple wants to give them a loving home, I see no problem with that. But on the other hand I think about what that would be like for the kids growing up. They would surely be teased and maybe even exiled at school for having “two mommys” or “two daddys.” So should it be allowed? I honestly don’t know. I would really like to see it happen in the near future, but I think that before it can happen society has a whole needs to become more accepting of same sex couples.
I really liked the point made in class on Tuesday by Sam about adoption by gay and lesbian couples. He said that if any homosexual couple is willing to go through the long and hard process of adopting a child, then they really must want a child. In contrast, a heterosexual couple can have a baby without even trying to. I feel like this is a really good point. Any homosexual that is able to adopt a child is most likely really going to love and appreciate the child. Of course, I also don’t mean that heterosexual parents don’t love and appreciate their children as well. This comment really got me thinking about homosexual couples adopting children, which is not something I’ve really considered before. I am a supporter of allowing homosexuals equal rights, and therefore I do support their adopting of children. I had never considered the distinction of male couples versus female couples in adopting children; however I don’t think it really makes a difference. The child will have two loving parents at home to care for it, which is one more parent that many children in single parent homes even have. Whether those parents are male or female doesn’t change their ability to raise the child.
However, regardless of how I feel, I do think that in the eyes of others, male gay couples would be perceived as less acceptable to adopt a child. In general, females are perceived to be the more nurturing and caring parents. However, there are many fathers who are as good or better parents to their child than the mothers are. There are even many single dads who are raising their children by themselves who are doing great jobs at raising their kids. I do feel like two males would experience a lot of difficultly in adopting a child however. The process of adopting a child is even very long and difficult for a heterosexual couple both within the United States and outside of the country. It can take years of being on a waiting list to be able to get a child, and even then there is no guarantee. Therefore, I can’t imagine how hard it would be for any homosexual couple to adopt, let alone for two gay men to. I feel like many adoption agencies have so many couples on the list to adopt a child, that they could discriminate against a homosexual couple, but either making them wait longer or by not allowing them to adopt a child at all. I don’t think that’s right at all, I just feel like in the adoption world it could and does occur.
I don’t think that two men or two women would be any less able to successfully raise a child than a male and a female couple. They can provide the same love and care that a heterosexual couple can. Therefore, I think that both male and female homosexual couples should be allowed to adopt a child.
In response to the question, “How do you feel about gay men couples adopting versus a lesbian couple adopting?” Personally I think that both lesbian and gay couples should be able to adopt children. Obviously they cannot consummate children on their own and adopting gives them the ability to have a family like many people want. I don’t understand why people don’t think that gay people should be allowed to adopt. Gay couples will care just as much for their kids as a straight couple, if not more. There are so many children in need of a loving home but the government doesn’t want to give these kids a home in a gay household, that is completely ridiculous. A loving home is a loving home. A gay couple will often care even more for the adopted children because they care so much to have a kid that they are willing to adopt and go through all of the processes needed to do so. No there will not be the “picturesque” mother and father but the child will still have two parents who love for them, which is more than many children in America have.
In regards to the question I think she may have been asking if people think either lesbians or gay men are more qualified to adopt. I would say that I do not think it makes any difference between the two and that they are both highly qualified to adopt. It really depends on the actual people and not a couple’s sexuality. Whether a couple is gay, lesbian or straight will not affect children as much as if they are caring and loving parents. There are so many more qualified gay couples out there than straight couples who have children. I find it so sad that couples are unable to start a family like they hope for because of stupid laws and prejudices. It is time to overcome all of our stupid preconceptions about what a family should look like or what color of skin makes you “superior”. What makes one person think that they are better or more qualified than another? What does sexuality have to do with being a good parent?
Our LGBT class was so interesting because it amazes me how closed-minded people can be and how unaware they are of what is going on in the world around them. What is the difference between a gay couple and a straight couple holding hands? Nothing! People just see things differently; they see more PDA because to them it is not as acceptable. What makes a good couple is that the two people care about each other and help each other become better people- not that they are of opposite sexes. I really hope that in the near future all couples will be able to not only adopt children but also be completely open about their sexuality and be accepted for it!
I never stopped to really think about a lot of the questions or topics that were proposed during class and here on the blog. I do not consider myself a homophobe or intolerant, but I just do not know many gays or lesbians. Therefore, I have not really been too exposed to these types of issues, and because they did not affect me directly or indirectly, I never really worried about LGBT problems. The only time I would hear about them was when I would see stories on the local news or in the newspaper. Whenever I thought of the words gay or lesbian I immediately thought of gay rights or gay marriage. Those were the only issues I really associated with the LGBT community, and yet being that provincial in my thinking, I never even looked into them. Also, I never talked about homosexuality growing up. I don’t know if people close to me avoided the topic or if it just never came up because everyone in my family is heterosexual. Having said all of that, the little bit I did think about the topic was based around the fact that I thought men were meant to be with women and vice versa. Why else would that be the only way that humans can achieve the goal of procreation? Even though I didn’t think that homosexuality was natural (I thought of it as more of a choice), I respected everyone and agreed with the fact that lesbian and gay couples should receive the same rights that heterosexual couple’s get. We are all people, and if you love a person of the same sex, you should be able to get married and have the same rights as a heterosexual married couple. A lot of things in class made me change my views on homosexuality, and I think it is just because I never hung out around gays or lesbians. When Sam asked how many people have asked a gay person if he or her chose to be gay or if it was just a natural thing, it made me think. It made no sense for me to believe something about homosexuality without being gay or at least talking to homosexuals and hearing their stories. Hopefully my discussion group will talk more about these topics because I think they are interesting and will lead to some better debates, but back to the actual question. I do not think there is a difference between a gay male couple adopting a child and a lesbian couple adopting a child. If anything, people have a problem with gay people in general adopting a child because they fear that the child will have a higher chance of also being gay. This is a pretty ludicrous thought because even if they do, there is nothing wrong with that and data shows that the thought isn’t true anyway. The only important thing is that children have a safe environment and supporting parents whether that’s a dad and a dad, a mom and a mom, a mom and dad, a single parent, etc. Any type of sexuality can be a capable parent.
In my opinion, difference between gay couples adopting a child and lesbian couple adopting a child could be how they role as a parents. In other words difference is in LGBT parents’ own male and female identification. I think these differences does not cause problems to love children and raise kids. In fact difference that causes problems is how society goes against LGBT people adopting a child. I know how Sam has talked about our society’s perspective is changing and people accept more LGBT people but we can not deny the fact that many older generations have negative connotation towards LGBT community. Whether we like it or not these ideas has impacted our society as they had power to go against LGBT community. As a result, LGBT couples get no rights to certain things that other heterosexual couples are allowed.
It is really interesting see how people are going again LGBT community not by personal opinion but by ideas from others. When we see religious people, they go against LGBT mainly because other religious leaders opposes to LGBT marriage. I mean what right does these leaders have to decide what people think about LGBT people? How can you not question them in first place? They just don’t care enough to think that sexual orientation could be different for some people. I don’t mean that all religious leaders are wrong about their thought but I mean that we should keep our faith based on our thoughts. It is time for us to judge LGBT based not by what other people say.
I think some LGBT couples can raise their child really well. As Sam mentioned in class, LGBT couples are really determined to raise their child when they decided to adopt a child. They are absolutely willing to raise a child and I think they will put their efforts to achieve that. In some sense they will raise their kids better than heterosexual couple, who do not want their child. LBGT couples will know what it means to have a child. Another positive impact can be how LGBT couples can open up different sexual choice for their kids.
Regardless all this positive influence, I think our society is not ready to accept LGBT communities yet. It is partly true that younger generations are more accepting LGBT communities but our society still discriminates LGBT communities. We can see how gay guys are bitten up in high schools. When we apply this fact into our original question, I can’t imagine how much pressure could be put into kids, who are raised by LGBT parents. Kids will have to deal with other negative connotation put their parents without knowing. For now, negative connotation towards LGBT communities itself causes problem for LBGT couples to adopt a child.
I believe that it is thought to be more accepted for female gay couples to adopt children than male gay couples. Females are generally thought of as more nurturing and better suited to handling children while males are generally thought of as the bring home the bacon but leave the mothering to the females sort of people. Since most people are raised to believe somewhat these standards when people think about gay couples adopting and caring for children they would be more accepting of lesbians raising the kids than gay males. I do however believe that gay males are just as good at raising and nurturing adopted kids as lesbians.
I talked to my mother once about Gay Marriage. She doesn't like the idea because she thinks that the major reason for marriage is procreation– most major religions believe that sex outside of marriage is a sacrilege, so her idea is that marriage is an institution built to sanctify the act of sexual intercourse, and therefore, procreation. She says that a child growing up in a home with homosexual parents could potentially be confused about the "father" role that a male would traditionally play, and the "mother" role that a woman would traditionally fulfill.
Personally, I befriended a set of triplets in middle school that I was friends with all through high school and to this day. Their mother has been in a relationship with another woman since the triplets were about three years old, and they have been living with her since they were six. The triplets consist of one boy and two girls, and you know what? They're not confused about traditional mother/father roles. And you know what else? The boy isn't effeminate or gay, either. Their mother loves them to death, and her partner cares for them like she would her own children. Their family is an incredibly loving one and you can see that, even from an outsider's perspective. So do I think same-sex couples should be allowed to raise children? Definitely!
As for the parenting skills of two men or two women go, I see no particular difference.
In my Psychology of Gender class, PSYCH 231, we talk about the female stereotype that all women are born to be nurturers, armed with powerful maternal instincts, and the urge to care for anything that breathes and has a heartbeat. So I can see that a lot of people would think that lesbian parents could be the better choice.
I, however, believe that men are equally capable of taking care of children and loving them unconditionally, just as any other lesbian, or even any heterosexual set of parents could. They're human beings, too. And, if they're willing to go through the gauntlet that is adopting a child into a homosexual family, then, by god, they obviously care.
This question produces a couple different ideas in my mind. Personally, in my opinion I don't see anything wrong with gay couples adopting a child. I think if the two individuals are willing to be loving and caring parents and want the responsibility of raising a child then they should be allowed to do so without being scolded by others. I think a gay couple should be able to have the same rights as a lesbian couple does. Overall, my opinion of gay and lesbian couples has always been that it's not something I would be into but if it was something they wanted to do then why not let them, it's their choice that they should be able to make themselves. So in regards to gay couples adopting children why not let them? Although I think they should be able to adopt a child if they so chose, I do see where society as a whole may have a different opinion on that. In general, lesbian couples are more widely accepted than gay male couples. That being said, since lesbian couples are already more accepted than gay couples it makes sense that people in society would be more against a gay couple adopting a child rather than a lesbian couple adopting a child. In general, I think it's no surprise that men are given the "macho man" stereotype while females are given the "nurturing mother" stereotype. People have a tendency to automatically assume that females are more capable of taking care of children especially since we give birth to the babies in the first place. However, although I do agree that most females are very capable of taking care of a child, men can be just as capable of taking care of children. I have quite a few friends whose father has raised them since they were born and their mother is not currently in their life for whatever the reason may be. Sometimes there are people in life that aren’t fit to be parents but that doesn’t mean that people should assume that it’s the male in the relationship. With that being said, it’s extremely unfair to point the finger at a gay couple and say that they are unfit to be parents just because they are gay. The chances are if they are willing to go through all the hard work, paper work, and lengthy process of adopting a child, they are probably doing so because it’s something they really have a desire to do and are most likely capable of being really great parents. If they didn’t think they were capable of bringing up a child, then they probably wouldn’t want to go through that whole process and spend all that money. Maybe one day, but most likely not any day soon, gay couples shouldn’t be criticized for wanting to adopt a child.
I think that it makes no difference whether a gay couple who are male or a gay couple who are female adopt a child. My opinion is that both sets of couples have just as much of a right to adopt a child as a straight couple. I also believe, however, that it is important for each and every child to have a male and female role model or figurehead in their life. I think this figure could easily be a family friend though. This is the same problem that occurs when one parent passes away or leaves for a number of other reasons and a child is left without a parent, so I don't think that this is enough of a problem to keep a couple from adopting, even if they are a gay or lesbian couple. If one parent dies or a spouse leaves a childs life, I dont think any reasonable person would say that, regardless of how suitable the parent with the child is, that they should give up their child because they cannot be both a mother and a father figure to the child. The reason I think it may cause a bit of a problem for a child of a same sex couple, is not knowing societys expectations of how a boy/girl or man/woman typically act or should behave in certain circumstances. In some cases, I think this could be good for a child, but more often than not, I think it would cause the child some potential problems later in life. When I think it would be more of a problem is when the child is of a different sex than the parents. In this case, the childs only exposure to the actions or expectations is from the media. I dont think anyone would be comfortable with popular media being someones exposure to something. In most cases, a gay couple, whether male or female, could be just as suitable, if not more-so than a straight couple. As Sam said in class, a gay couple who can not produce a child of their own may be even more suited to be a parent and show that child more love than a straight couple who has a child by accident. Just because someone is capable of reproducing a child, does not, by any means make them a capable parent who will love a child and show him or her the love that they deserve. I dont think the sexual orientation of a person has any bearing whatsoever in their capabilities as a parent.
I have no problem with gay or lesbian couples having kids. If you know how to raise a child and know how to, you have every right to do so. It shouldn’t matter if you have two dads or two moms, what matters is you have two elders, who love each other and are together, taking care of a child, which we don’t have as much of anymore as we used to. The divorce rate with heterosexual couples is way to high, so why don’t we care when they adopt someone. If you can raise them the right way and guide them in a direction of right and wrong you are doing the right thing. The only issue I could see is that the parents push their sexual tendencies on their children, and if this is avoided then who cares. They can educate their kids on it but allow them to make their own choice. Other than that issue, hell I could care less if you are same sex trying to adopt a child, as long as you love them and take care of them it’s a ok with me.
My thoughts are there is absolutely no difference the children are going to get harassed in school for having gay parents if they are male or female. If you have to break it down I would prefer two males they would probably most likely have a higher income and possibly give children a better life. But having two moms would be great also because you would just be a better person. Which bring me to the thought that having one of each would probably be the best for any child? It sucks that this is the way I feel but I think it’s because I know it’s true having gay parents probably isn’t the best thing but its going to happen and as long as a child is cared for and given love isn’t all that truly matters in this harsh would we live in.
There isn’t any difference to me between gay males or women raising children. If there is love present between the couple and a happy environment in the home then how would you object to that? There are many neglected children in the world living in broken homes. Children are being abused everyday in the world by male and women marriages, but you don’t see anyone saying things about why some of these marriages shouldn’t have children. Its certain people who shouldn’t have children, not whether they are gay or not. If a child grows up with two women or males in their life then they don’t find it abnormal. They may question the situation but if you explain to them that love is the bond between them and when two people love each other they get married and start a life together, then there shouldn’t be a problem. It is our job in society to accept these things so it doesn’t raise questions to the children in the families because if they don’t feel any different than other children everything will be ok. I also agree with another student that when gay men or women agree to adopt a child it is a well throughout decision by them. They agree that their relationship is healthy and loving enough to raise a child. There’s no chance of them accidently getting pregnant and having to be thrown into raising a child and maybe having a chance of it not being a suitable environment for the child. Their intentions are true and therefore help insure the child is raised correctly. All that is important in a family gay or not is that the child grows up with a loving family. I don’t believe love has standard and anyone can love anyone no matter gender. I find nothing wrong with two partners adopting a child. People in society should also accept it because at the end of the day it isn’t any of our business anyways. Don’t judge people because of who they love, be happy for them, everyone wants to find that certain someone that they can spend the rest of their life with and if it so happens to be with the same gender then so be it. Times are changing in America and everywhere else in the world we need to adjust our outlook and something’s.
Additional Blog #1
It should not matter whether it is two men adopting a child or two women adopting a child. All that really matters is whether or not that child is getting the proper care that he or she needs. The sexual orientation of the parents should not matter at all. I think we put way too much emphasis on what the typical family should be. We complain that homosexual couples that are trying to adopt children are unfit parents simply because they do not fit the social norm or the typical family. . So what! Stop looking at the appearance or the gender of both parents and focus on what is really important—the child
Furthermore, we also say that being homosexual goes against the bible. There is no possible way we should let these people adopt children. That is not how it was written. Well I hate to bust your bubble angles, but I’m pretty sure that it also was not written that we who are so called “righteous” should be able to pick and choose which parts of bible we would follow on a day to day basis. So please stop trying justify what a real family is just based off of appearance and religion. Understand that family is much more than a picture perfect image! A family is a group people who care for one another, takes care of one another, and loves one another!
I think both gay and lesbian couples should be allowed to adopt children. I have heard all of the arguments that children are even often times better off with gay and lesbian families, because only those couples who really want children will get them. As a result the children are usually raised in a financially stable home, and the parents are more likely to be loving and affectionate to them. However, there is the one down side that never escapes my thoughts, and that is the fact that when that child gets to about 5th grade and kids start learning about sexual education and homosexuality, then that child is very likely to be ridiculed and outcast from the group. No matter what, that child will always be the kid with two mommies or two daddies, and that will inevitably be difficult for the child. However, even after weighing this possible factor into the argument, I still think that the quality of the family that the child is getting outweighs the negatives of the child having a few tough years.
Parenthood is not easy from bawling babies to terrible teenagers to know-it-all adults a parent’s job never stops. A parent is someone who raises you, who can teach you morals, manners and is there to help you with your small booboos and the big scratches. With this broad definition of parent it is difficult to deny parenthood privileges to gays, lesbians and bisexuals because they can carry out the roles of being a parent to the same degree as “Hetero” parents. What is funny to me is that in reality, an astounding number of “hetero” parents may not even be classified as parents at all; they abuse their children verbally and physically and may be hindering their development in these ways. Yet, they still refuse to admit that two loving mothers may be better than an abusive mother and father partnership.
However, it seems that there may be some differences between raising a child with a mother and a father versus raising a child with two mothers or two fathers. Although I am just speculating, it would seem that having two mothers might be the equivalent to growing up with a single mother, because the father figure is absent. Likewise, in the case of two fathers the mother figure it absent. Growing up with one parent can be hard; a child can feel that they don’t always have someone they can relate to. However, no one has ever stopped a single parent from raising a child, so can they fairly stop a lesbian couple or a gay couple from adopting?
Although a child may receive the same nurturing from the two mothers, would a son feel comfortable talking to his two mothers about puberty, or feelings he may be having towards girls? Similarly, would a daughter feel comfortable talking to her two mothers about feelings she has towards boys? Is it possible that one of the two mothers or fathers can take on the role of the missing member of the opposite sex in order to avoid the feeling of a “missing piece” of a child’s development?
Is there a difference between having two mothers and two fathers? Would there be more crazyness in a house with women than with men due to a larger amount of hormones? Would the two fathers be stricter than the two mothers? In the show Glee, one of the main characters has two dad’s and they raised her by making her a singing and dancing star. This is somewhat stereotypical of gay men, but would a gay couple be willing to play catch with their son or daughter? These are questions that I ask myself regarding this issue.
In class we found that children of gay and lesbian couples are more loved because a child is not easy for them to have, this love is enough. As long as a child can receive love, I believe that nothing else matters.
I honestly don't believe that there is any difference between a lesbian couple adopting and a gay couple adopting. I only have two guy friends who are gay and one lesbian friend. I actually had this conversation with her the other weekend and she made the comment that is harder for her to find someone to be with. She isn't the type of person to just date from person to person and in my town gays and lesbians are not really accepted. I come from a small farm town where nothing is accepted, except what is to be believed as normal. What she was saying was that when she is dating someone she is looking for an actual relationship since finding someone around my town is sorta hard. My two gay friends, one is in relationship searching for a house to buy and the other one is still single looking for someone. What I am getting as is these relationships are the same as heterosexual relationships. They have to go through all the same background checks and observations as the every couple, so i don't see why it is a big deal if lesbians or gays adopt. They love one another as much as the next relationship and they would not put a child into the equation if it was not a stable environment to raise them in. To be good parent, role model, teacher, or anything in a child's life depends on your heart and how much you love that child. Not if you are gay or lesbian, black or white. It is true though that a gay couple has a harder time being adoptive parents because there is still the concern with a child growing up without a "mother figure." There are views that gay men are sexual predators and should not be permitted to be around children. There is also the fear that the child will also be gay if raised by gay parents. Most of the time though gay couples are not selective are there child that they adopt. Heterosexual couples almost always want to adopt a newborn baby, but gay couples are more open to the idea of older children. I think that any couple should be allowed to adopt as long as it a loving and caring environment. There are tests and observations that adopting agency go through before they just give a child to someone. They would be able to discover if these individuals were actually a threat to anyone. When an gay couple adopts and that child grows up in that household , they will be accepting of others. The world today is cruel to the individuals that are "different" and for a child to grow up in that environment it opens their eyes to an entirely different world compared to being raised by a straight couple. And lets say this child themselves are "different" how would a straight couple handle that situation compared to a gay couple when all they hope for is acceptance. They would be so much more understanding.
If a couple is thinking about adopting a child, it’s not like they just go to the hospital and choose a baby and leave. They have to first of all apply to an agency and be put on a list and before they are even put on a list, they have to meet all kinds of standards that the agency has proving that they, as a couple, can provide for a child. To me, I think if any couple or even a single person proves that they can provide for a child and proves that they want a child and are read to care for one, it does not matter if they are gay. And not only does not sexuality matter, but whether you are a lesbian or a gay male. I feel as though if a person is applying to adopt a child, then they are ready for the responsibility and have financial stability and are able to care for a child, why should gender matter? I feel as though both males and females bring something to the table when raising a child, but everyday there are single fathers and single mothers who bring up children who are perfectly fine. So, if a lesbian couple, a gay couple or a straight couple want to adopt a child, I feel as though they are all equal. A child being adopted by any of those families will have a loving home. I feel as though they will go into a loving home because if a family is adopting a child, it is because they really want a child. And if they are a gay couple, together they cannot make a child, so they have to adopt one. It’s not like going to the store and picking up a new toy, they really want children together. Couples are usually balanced, so if a child is going into a lesbian, gay, or straight family, I feel as though they will get an equal balance of parenting; it does not matter if a child has a mother and a father, they will still have two parents, whether it be two mothers or two fathers. I cannot say that one couple would be better than another because to me, everyone is good at something and everyone is bad at something; all couples with children will have their challenges and flaws in parenting but parenting together is how they make it work. All couples adopting children will love that child the same or even more than a couple who makes a child together. I feel as though if a couple wants to adopt a child and is able to care for this child, it should not matter what gender they are or what their sexual orientation is.
I do not think that there is any difference among a gay parent or couple adopting, a lesbian parent or couple adopting, or a heterosexual parent or couple adopting a child. As long as the parent or parents to a child is loving, nurturing, and caring, the child will turn out just fine. I know a lesbian couple that had their own child. This little girl is one of the most confident, smartest, capable children I’ve ever met. Although she is only seven now, she has no problem at all with having two mommies. From what I can tell, she does not think anything of it. I do not think she will ever have a problem with having two mommies. Both of her parents are loving, caring, and nurturing people. This little girl expresses herself in whichever way she feels. She once told me that her favorite color was pink and that she cannot wait to start dance class. Although her preferences are not important based on her parents’ orientation, my point is that they are not influenced. Her mom’s favorite color happens to be pink as well.
Although I do not know a gay person or couple who has adopted a child, I do not see any reason how or why the adoption and the well being of the child would be different from the lesbian couple I know who had their child.
I can understand, however, that at some point in the child’s life, the child may be uneasy by his or her parents’ sexual orientation just because the child’s parents could be seen as different, and different could be seen as negative. But from what I’ve viewed and heard, the adopted child will turn out just fine, and I have no problem with homosexual adoption.
It seems silly to me that people would have a problem with homosexual adoptions. Like Sam said in class, homosexuals have a child because they want one, where as heterosexuals may have a child by accident. Parents who want a child will treat him or her the way a parent should treat his or her child. It also seems silly to me that people would be more okay with a lesbian person or couple adopting than with a gay person or couple adopting a child. Parenting depends solely on the type of person you are, not on your sexual orientation. Quite frankly, I think that it’s great that gay and lesbian people or couples want to adopt a child. All children deserve a comfortable and loving family to be a part of.
If people are uncomfortable with gay or lesbian parents pushing their sexual orientation upon their adopted children, there is no need to worry. This is not going to happen. Like Sam said, if anything, an adopted child adopted by a person who is gay or lesbian who happens to be gay or lesbian him or herself, will probably be more at ease coming out to his or her family.
This issue is not something for the public to be uncomfortable with.
This is a really interesting topic. I have thought about the fact whether gay and lesbian couples should adopt, but I never thought of it as whether one couple would be better or more qualified than the other. I do not think there is a difference between gay or lesbian couples adopting a child. If these couples want to have a child so much, than they must have so much love for both each other and for children. Both genders have the right to adopt a child, especially since they are not able to naturally have a child together. As long as the couple has all of the required elements to adopting a child, they should definitely be able to.
If people who are encountering so much hate and resistance are willing to raise a child, they must really want it. I do not think it makes a difference if the parents are straight, gay, or lesbian as long as they are physically and emotionally able to support the child and bring the child up in a loving atmosphere.
Just because of the way that society has been structured for so many years, it has become odd for many people to see a couple of the same-sex. I really believe that this concept stems from the idea that in order to raise a child you need to have both a female and male influence. By this I do not mean that two women or two men cannot successfully raise a child on their own, but in order for the child's development to progress normally it is essential that they have exposure to the opposite sex as well. This could be a grandparent, aunt, uncle, friend…it really does not matter who the individual is as long as the child is able to seek their support.
What happens often though is that a new family tends to separate themselves off from the rest of the world because they are a new unit and want to function as such. If this happened in a same-sex couple with a child, that child could be developmentally hindered from lack of exposure to the opposite sex. This could be especially problematic in adolescence and puberty, when the child is trying to identify themselves.
It might be easier for many people to accept two women raising a child on their own because it has been done before. When a husband passes away, mothers are often left on their own to raise the children. Usually the people who come in to offer consistent help are other females. When a wife dies and the father is left alone to raise the children, it is usually not other men that throw their hats in to help.
Additionally, the nurturing characteristic is more apparent in women than it is in men. However, I do believe that these attributes are chemically based and that if a male had the right chemical composition, he could have many of the same characteristics that are innate to women, and vice versa. This being said, it is just as possible that many women lack the correct composition to be nurturing and that the man could get the job done better.
I certainly support adoptions by any sort of couple. I think anyone could successfully raise a child as long as there is a good balance for the child. What adoption agencies look for is a loving family. A family can consist of many types of individuals. Like Sam said in class, a gay couple could be better fit to raise a child because they actually really desire the child.
Personally I don’t think there is much of a difference between gay male parents and gay female parents. In fact, I think that many gay couples would make better parents than a lot of straight couples. The only reason that this is really an issue is because of today’s society and our perceptions of gay couples. Children of gay couples are normal compared to other children, both physically and mentally. However, with homosexuality so severely frowned upon by much of the world today, they are simply not treated the same as a child of a straight couple. Although it is true that there may be some facets of parenting that cannot be met by a gay couple, I do not think that this negatively affects their children. For example, a gay female couple lacks a male “role model” in the family, which may have some effect on their children, but honestly I think that any effect would be negligible. I really do not know any statistics on this, but I would assume that there are far less cases of spousal abuse in gay couples that straight couples. If this is true, then we would be able to assume that on average, children of gay couples would have a healthier childhood within the house. But once again this leads us to society and how much stress it puts on gay couples, in both their relationship and their children. We have all heard the stories of children getting ridiculed or called gay themselves just because their parents are, which is not true at all. Surprisingly, many of the kids who make fun of these children learn about this from their parents. So many news stories involve parents, a lot of the time Catholic parents, who feel so uncomfortable about having their child attend school with children of a gay couple that they actually encourage their children to ridicule the kids in an attempt to get them to withdraw from the school. This is absolutely preposterous, especially since the bible says to treat your neighbors as you would want to be treated. If parents never found out that their children attended school with the child of a partners, then this problem would not exist. However, news travels so fast that often an entire town can know about a family in a matter of days, which puts that added pressure on their children in schools. If we put 100 children in a school, 95 from straight couples and 5 from gay couples, I can guarantee you that no one would be able to tell them apart. Hopefully one day we will all realize that being raised by a gay couple does not make you gay, nor make anyone that you hang out with become gay. Some people are just so childish.
I do not believe there is any difference between women (lesbians) or men (gays) adopting children. In fact, I agree whole-heartedly with Sam when he said that having children for gays might even be better than for straight couples because when gay people adopt, it's never an "oops" or an accident. It is very well planned, and though lesbian or gay couples can still break up like straight couples do, adoption is a good way to help out children living without any parents at all.
I may be biased, though. I have a friend, a man, who is adopted by two lesbian women. He never actually told me, though, and I wish I knew why. I think he's embarrassed, or afraid to tell anyone, for fear of how they might react. TO be honest, I think I'd be the same way, but it upsets me that our world is even like that at all. I know a lot of other welcoming people, besides myself, and i think that it shouldn't be weird for people to come out and say they have lesbian parents. Of course, it might seem "random" or "awkward" to just come out and say "My parents are gay," but so is telling people that my dad died. Sometimes I just let people talk about my dad paying for things, or my dad helping me with science projects – I don't even bother saying that he died. Yet, sometimes it is appropriate to say something, and I wish that he felt comfortable telling me instead of hinting around. I ended up running into them at the mall last Spring, and all of my previous assumptions were true. Though I had to put the pieces together, instead of him telling me, it seemed like they were all in a full, healthy relationship. He's over 21 now, and his moms are still together. He is completely stable, smart, funny, and adjusted. I don't think he would turn out any different if he had a "male" figure in his life, but that is only a guess.
Even today’s television is addressing the issue of gay adoption. Most recently, the TV show Modern Family, revolving around somewhat dysfunctional but loving family relationships, showed two gay men adopting a baby girl from China. I believe that this is breaking the mold and should show people who are against gay adoption that it is OK. In my opinion, it is better for the children to have ANY loving parent, rather than none. They shouldn’t have to wait for a straight couple to adopt them, and they will have a better life with two loving parents, no matter the sexuality, rather than none at all.
I personally do not believe that there is really any difference between gay couples, lesbian couples, and even straight couples adopting. Well, there might be slight differences along the way but in the long run they are minor and well worth the trouble. It might be hard at the time for a young child to understand why they have two moms or two dads unlike their classmates, but the fact is they now have some sort of parents. If they were not adopted, they would not be in a stable, providing home that they are now apart of. One of my good friends from home grew up in a two mother home, granted she was not adopted, but she lives a perfectly normal life. You might be caught off guard for the first time you meet her family, but after that initial meeting, it just seems normal. Nothing is abnormal or weird about the situation. She has two loving mothers who were able to come together to provide a happy and fulfilling life for my friend and her sister. It is true that in a lesbian or gay adoption or parenthood, you might not have someone to teach the child typical "mom" or typical "dad" things. But who is to say that a straight dad or mom would be able to teach them these activities anyways? Not all straight males can or would want to go out in the back and throw the pigskin around, and not all straight females would want to take their daughters shopping. And who says that the lesbian mother or the gay father wouldn't be good at teaching these things? There are many athletic, macho gays fathers and well as many feminine lesbians mothers. It is a matter of personality and preference, which is the same no matter what type of marriage or sexual orientation it may be.
Having a gay or lesbian adoption may even bring more awareness LGBT issues to society. Same sex marriages can only adopt in a handful of states in the US. By having some adoptions in same sex marriages, it brings attention to the fact that this process is not legal everywhere else. And for those who support same sex marriage adoption, it can be a big eye opener. They could take action and even help the cause. Liker for me, I had no idea that this was only permitted in a few states, and it really made me think. Why is this? When will it change? How can it change? What can I do?
The simple fact is that children need to be adopted. They need emotional, physical, and financial support. And if there is someone out there willing to spend their own time and resources to provide these things. Who are we to stop them? No matter if they are straight, gay, or lesbian.
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I feel there is little difference between a gay or lesbian couple adopting a child. These people need to fight through the justice system to adopt because of the controversy of taboo they face. I would rather see a child adopted into a loving gay couple who have fought hard for the chance to adopt than see a child adopted into a family who does not care for them. Of course, this is between gays and straights. There is absolutely no difference between gays and lesbians in this aspect. What is different if you have two moms or two dads? There is a ton of controversy with adoption for gays because of the later reactions. There are rumors that these children will end up gay and be scrutinized throughout school for have same-sex parents. I feel like this is a load of crap. We should be open to gay adoption regardless of sexes.
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My personal opinion is that regardless of gender or race, adoption is an amazing act of kindness. I do not care if its two men or two women adopting a child. I do not really think that it makes too much of a difference. Sure, a child is influenced and shaped by his or her parents; I do not think though that a child is going to be harmed in any way by his or her parents being homosexuals. Who cares really what others think (bullies etc.). If a gay couple wants to be able to have a child and is able to support and love that child than I am all for it.
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In the past I have felt very strongly that gay and lesbian couples should not be able to adopt children. I thought that a child growing up with parents of the same sex would be raised in an environment that would be detrimental to them. I thought that a child would be tormented in school and confused through out his or her time growing. However this may still be true, I have come to the realization that by allowing gay and lesbian couples to adopt we have the ability to gain so much. There are so many children across the world in need of a home. Whether circumstances are difficult in the beginning of an adopted child’s life having a loving home for there entire life is much more important. I personally think that homosexuality is genetic so having gay or lesbian parents would not make a child more like to be homosexual. Growing up with such an open mind about sexual orientation may even make a gay or lesbian child more likely to come out about their sexual orientation. This is something that I would think can be very difficult for a gay or lesbian person to deal with and anything that could lift the pressure would be very beneficial. One could argue that relationships between two men or two women may not be as strong as between a man and a women. Which could be detrimental to the raising of a child but some studies have shown that the difficult obstacles that gay and lesbians relationships have to overcome bring them closer together and creating extremely strong relationships. Especially at a time when the divorce rate is at nearly fifty percent. Situations like this have taught me that I need to initially be more open minded. I am surprised that I didn’t even think to myself, the more homes for the children the better. Also now as gay and lesbian marriage is becoming more acceptable and as time goes on it will be easier and easier for children to grow up with same sex parents. The only thing that may still concern me is these children may not have the proper balance of a father and mother figure role in their lives. May the two people in the relationship try to split up that type of role to help raising, I am not sure. As I am moving towards life in the real world I think that I should look more into how same sex relationships are affecting our culture. I would not like to get into a business situation that could turn out bad for me because I was ignorant to same sex life. As we move toward strong gay rights I am interested to see what will happen with same sex marriage adoption.
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Our sociology class on Tuesday raised many questions and caused some controversy between the students of Sam Richards. In my opinion, the most interesting question that is on this blog is what people’s views are on a gay male couple adopting children versus a lesbian couple adopting children. I can understand why some people believe that neither should have the option to adopt children as their own, but I completely disagree. I think that both gay male couples and lesbian female couples should have the option to adopt children if they choose to do so. They should each be given a fair chance, and gay men or lesbian women should not have the upper hand over one another. Gay couples (both men and women) feel just as strong about having children of their own as straight couples who are able to reproduce and have children. These couples would care for their children as their own, and provide them with the necessary things that are needed to raise a child. Just because people are gay does not mean that they would not be able to raise children and teach them how to become an active and good-hearted individual in society. As Sam said in class, I believe that gay and lesbian couples would take much pride in raising their children and provide them with unconditional love and support because they truly want a child. Gay and lesbian couples don’t “accidentally” have children. They are obviously unable to produce children of their own and by adopting a child and taking them into their care, they are showing dedication and the will to provide a stable environment for their children. Straight couples sometimes accidentally become pregnant with children because it is much easier (and actually possible) to do so. Therefore, we often see families who cannot support their children in the way that they should be supported. On the other hand, when a gay and lesbian couple decides to bring a child into their lives, they are fully aware of what needs to be done in order to be great parents. Gay and lesbian people are exactly the same as heterosexual individuals, except for their sexual orientation, and should be given the same opportunity to raise a child as a straight couple. If we forget about sexual orientation and put aside the fact that gay and lesbian people cannot become pregnant with a child of their own, we see a group of people who are equal to straight couples and desire a family just like everybody else who has children. If a couple is willing to care for a child and provide a secure upbringing to that child, then I don’t understand why people would be against gays and lesbians adopting children of their own.
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I think that Gay, Lesbian or straight, a homeless and parentless child needs a family. Their sexual orientation should not matter as to whether or not they can adopt a child, but in this world, unfortunately, it does. So in my personal opinion there should not be a difference in a man or a woman couple adopting a child. It’s sad enough that children need to be adopted in this world.
A lesbian couple may have it easier as to adopting a child or children. Naturally we look at women as “Mothers” and “caretakers”, and there’s no problem with that. There is that Mother fulfillment they need to feel, Lesbian or straight. So by saying it may be easier for a Lesbian couple to adopt a child, I mean that people can trust a woman more with a child it seems. That the woman is more caring, loving, the Mother pretty much. And I’m not saying that men are bad parents, not at all, or don’t do any of those things, all I’m saying is that it seems much easier to give a child to a woman couple than a man couple. That doesn’t make it right, a Gay couple and a Lesbian couple should have an equal chance.
A gay couple may have it harder to adopt a child. It seems like people are hesitant to give two men a child. Why? Men are just as caring and loving parents as a straight couple would be. A Gay couple may even be better at raising a child than some straight couples. In my life, I have two older Gay friends who are a couple. Years ago they adopted two African American brothers. From what I have heard, they did have trouble getting the boys, it was a process. Primarily because they are a Gay couple. Today, the boys are grown up and one just had a baby girl. They grew up wonderful. Educated, loving, spoiled, and gentlemen. What more can you ask for? So there, a Gay couple is a good couple.
A parent is a parent. Men or woman shouldn’t be a difference. It’s sad that children who are in need of a home can’t have that because of who wants to adopt them. And it’s even more sad that it may just be easier for a Lesbian couple to do that. We are all equal, and I support the Gay community. I have friend’s who are Bisexual, Gay, and Lesbian, and I’ll tell you what, they are the most beautiful people inside and out. No one should underestimate them or judge them, because you will be surprised. Like I said, we are all equal; we should be given equal opportunity.
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Like most bloggers have previously said, there should be no difference between a gay couple and a lesbian couple adopting a child. However, the problem lies within our society. When raising a child, it is theory that the mother is the primary caregiver. Society has given women the role of raising the children. We think that women possess this internal motherly instinct. So it’s no wonder that it would be easier for lesbians to adopt a child. In a sense, it may appear that the child is lucky to have two mommies. Although some men are more caring and responsible than females could be. It is more shocking for society to see two men with a baby. My boyfriend’s best friend has a baby girl. Whenever the two of them go out together, people often assume they are a gay couple with a baby. They get a lot of disoriented looks from people and are often questioned about when they adopted her. Firstly, it would not be anyone’s business if they were gay and had a child. Secondly, if they were actually a couple, they would make awesome dads together. If a child is loved and cared for, why is sex an issue? For children growing up with same sex parents, it is not an easy task. Kids can be really cruel to one another and be ridiculed because they have gay parents. I don’t think there would be a difference for a child to have two mommies vs. two daddies. It also is not just an issue of children teasing one another. Their motives come from the opinions of there parents. If adults instill the idea that every family is different then there would be no issue in adoption for gay couples. Being a man or a woman does not make you a good parent. Agencies should no discriminate a couple based upon if they are homosexual males or females or heterosexual. They should look at the morals and values of the couple. The main purpose of adoption should be to provide children with the best life possible. Is it really better to keep children in orphanage or foster home rather than give them to a same sex couple? Two gay men who desperately want a child to love and raise should have the right to have a child. They should not be denied because of their gender or sexual orientation. Love does not discriminate so neither should people.
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I do not think there is a difference between adoptions for lesbian couples and adoptions for gay couples. I think as long as the children are being supported emotionally, physically, and financially, it really does not matter who is doing the adopting. A lot of people fear that despite what is in the child’s best interest, a child of a gay couple may be taunted and teased. I think this may be a problem, but on the other hand, a lot of kids are taunted and teased. As long as the child is well taken care of and supported by his or her parents, I really think he or she will be okay. Also, I think it is better for the child to be in an extremely loving home with gay parents than in a less loving home with straight parents, or no home at all. Even outside of the United States, there are many children that could really use two amazing moms or dads! Interestingly, there is evidence to suggest that children raised by gay and lesbian parents may be better off in the long run. This has a lot to do with gender roles and expectations of the sexes. In gay and lesbian households, the gender roles are a little blurrier. The parents will take on each of these roles a little more equally, so there is no pressure for the child to conform. Additionally, people who have both male and female traits (i.e. competitiveness and compassion), have shown to be more well-adjusted adults.
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I do not think there is a difference between male gay couples and lesbian couples adopting. I do not think one pair would be better parents then another. I also see no difference than with either of them raising a child compared with a male and a female. I honestly do not at all understand why people feel that gay couples should not be able to adopt a child. Who is to say that child will suffer? There is no proof. These children will grow up with as much or even more love than they would if they had not been adopted.
Many children would be better of if they were adopted by these couples. There are teenage moms that get pregnant everyday and keep these babies. Take my cousin for example. My cousin Jessie became pregnant at 17. She ended up getting married simply because of the child and ended up not being able to go to college. Now at 21, she has 3 children and living at his parents house because they do not have enough money to afford one of their own. I'm not saying that every teenager that gets pregnant will lead this life. What I am saying is that if she can have 3 children, why can't a gay couple adopt one when they are probably more financially able to support a child.
It's sad to see many children born into families where the parents are not ready (be financial reasons, age, or any other number of reasons). Many of these parents keep these children. If they attempted to adopt a child, would they be able to? Isn't it sad that just because a couple is straight and they accidentally get pregnant, they can become parents, and a gay couple can't? They have to go through the long, and tiring process of adoption (I've seen another family go through this).
Over the summer, I work at a kid's camp. This past summer we had 2 children who came from lesbian families. Their mothers were all completely involved in their lives. They came to the picnic and talent show, paid their dues on time, and were always there to pick their children up at the end of the day. If you didn't know their parents were both gay, you would never know. Both girls were normal, healthy individuals. As far as I could see, they were not suffering in the least bit. They lived their lives just like anyone else.
If these couples are willing to adopt, why not let them? These children will be able to experience a loving home. My only hope is that as further generations open up more to other ideas, this is one that sticks. These people are no different than you and me. There is no reason they cannot become parents.
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I think there is absolutely no difference between gay men and gay women adopting children. Like Sam said in class on Tuesday, gay people who want to adopt kids really want a child more then anything and will cherish this child. It does not matter if these people are men or women, they are all equally able to parent. I have a gay uncle. I have known his partner since I was born and I know the two of them would be great parents. I think again Sam’s argument works for the male versus female argument as well. It is going to be tougher and frowned upon for two men to adopt a child, and therefore their desire for a kid must be extraordinarily high.
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Honestly, I really don’t think there is that much of a difference between a gay couple adopting a child and a lesbian couple adopting a child. If it were my child, I’d probably personally want him or her adopted by a lesbian couple only because women tend to naturally be more nurturing and caring. Either way, I’m sure a child will have a great life despite the sex of his or her parents. The only thing that really matters, and this holds true for heterosexual couples as well, is that there is a strong and stable connection and love between the two spouses that provides for a healthy family dynamic.
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Since this an extremely controversial issue within our society today, I have been able to hear and listen to many different opinions about it.
On a personal note, my family has experienced gay adoption. My dad’s first cousin is gay and is married to his partner. They have been together ever since I was little and I never really thought anything of it. When I got a little older, I obviously started to understand what their relationship was and what it stood for. I didn’t have a problem with it because I was so used to it and they were apart of my family- so what’s the big deal? They were constantly around my cousins and I and are two of the nicest, fun people I know. Within the past 5 years, they have adopted 2 daughters. Of course, it’s a little unfamiliar for me to think of how these girls can grow up having two fathers and never experience a relationship with their mother or a mother figure within their lives. Especially when they grow up- who can talk to them about puberty and about protecting themselves sexually? That is a long while away but it is something that is evident to me now. I don’t think that gay nor lesbian adoption is better than the other…but I do think that each has it’s own pros and cons. Ironically, my cousins are best friends with a lesbian couple with two kids of their own. They live close to each other and hang out all the time. I guess they also feel that it’s important for their kids to experience having a close maternal/paternal relationship with someone in their lives. I believe it’s important as well and think it’s going to be beneficial for the kids down the road. The two little girls that my cousins have adopted are so outgoing and are loved so much within our family. It is a great feeling to know how happy they are and that they were saved through the adoption process since their blood family was unable to care for the,. They are always dressed extremely well and are spoiled during the holidays and other days of the year to know they are loved and apart of our family. However, as a teenage girl myself, I wonder when the age will be when they realize that they have “gay” parents. Do they know now? Will it truly effect them? I don’t think they are at an age yet where they can be that observant to this detail. I think that I will continue to believe that although their fathers will bring them up and continue to help them grow into young women, it will still be vital for them to maintain a strong female relationship with someone in their lives.
I think that it’s absolutely great that gay and lesbian couples are able to adopt kids and give them the lives they deserve and more. I don’t think that either one is “better” but again, I think that they each have their pros and their cons- in the most positive way possible.
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I think that both gay and lesbian couples should be able to adopt if they want too. I think Sam made a really good point the other day in class. It makes sense that with gay and lesbian couples, they cannot just accidentally have a child. This means that if they want a child, they have to really want one because of the intense adoption process the couple will face. I think that any couple who can provide a loving home should be able to adopt a child. I don't think it matters whether the couple is straight, gay, white, black, or pink. I think that anyone who is willing to give a child the world should be able to adopt regardless of his or her sexual orientation.
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I was watching "True Life" I have Gay Parents and it was interesting to learn and see the real life of how it was to have gay parents and how the adopted children felt about having parents who were gay. The teens in the documentary were thoughtful, insightful, and—dare we say—well adjusted, and these portrayals support the positive statistics about kids with gay families. Like for example, I read in one of my classes about a recent Tufts University study which found that children who are raised in same-sex families have no difference in gender identity, sexual orientation, or emotional issues than their peers from heterosexual households.
Interestingly, the Tufts study also found that children from gay families might be better off developmentally, exhibiting higher self-esteem, better behavior, and fewer incidences of mental illness and emotional disturbances. This trend is definitely due to the open-mindedness and stoic attitudes that many gay people must adopt in order to survive in a discriminatory world. Gay parents know what it's like for people to reject them for who they are, so they make sure their children are instilled with this value of being accepting of others as well as of themselves. These are the main reasons why I am totally for lesbian AS WELL as gay men adopting other children equally because they are seeking a child to love and to care for so they are willing to give their all into giving their child the best home they can possibly give. Gay parents, all whether lesbian ot gay men, should not be judged at all if they want to adopt a child. All power to them!
Why people are more comfortable with lesbian parents adopting over gay male parents is something I have questions many times. With me, I see any gay couple willing to adopt as a positive thing. One explanation I have on why gay male parents are less accepted than lesbian parents goes back to the idea of why lesbians are more accepted than gay men. I think people see lesbian couples as more motherly because they are female and females are naturally motherly. Many people are already disturbed by gay men couples and are against what they do intimately that they feel that if they bring a child into the picture, that child will be exposed to that in a negative way..
Maybe I am just assuming these things but its some kind of explanation for why people may be more comfortable with the idea of lesbian couples adopting over gay male couples. I will forever be for the idea of gay couples adopting and will have equal respect for a gay male couple than I have for lesbian couples.
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I think gays and lesbians are perfectly capable of adopting a child and raising them well, but perhaps lesbians are better suited to raising children because of the motherly instinct that lies in women. Then again perhaps that gene lies within men too, but how often have you heard a fatherly instinct?
In any situation, women tend to be more highly regarded as the best in raising a child. If there is a separation or divorce, most times the child goes with the mother because mothers seem to be able to provide more. Even in the animal kingdom, baby animals only hang around their mother and not the father. Why is that? It is because the mother can provide for them better than anyone else. So when it comes to gay and lesbians, I think it would be easier for lesbians to adopt than men.
Just think about it. If some people think it is better for the mother to care for a child, then a child who has two mothers is set for life. Only trouble is when the kids are teenagers. It would be teens with hormonal issues vs. two mothers with their time of the month. Their be a boxing match once a month in those households. That’s probably not true, but it does make one wonder how that would work out.
For gays, it seems harder because of the fact it’s two guys. It is hard to argue otherwise, but that is about the most general reason behind it. The mother instinct just isn’t there, at least to some people. I feel either or, the child is still in good hands regardless whether its two men or two women as the parents. The real issue is States allowing adoption, which some do not.
But here is something interesting I found. This is an article from the Times Online in the United Kingdom. The article is from November 2009. Here is an excerpt from it.
“Stephen Scott, director of research at the National Academy for Parenting Practitioners, told a meeting last week that the latest research showed that children of such couples did better in life.
Speaking at the launch at the think tank Demos of a report on the influence of character on life, Scott said: “Lesbians make better parents than a man and a woman.”
His arguments are supported by experts who have found, over years of research, that children brought up by female couples are more aspirational and more confident in championing social justice. They show no more tendencies towards homosexuality than the offspring of heterosexual parents.”
Full article can be read at http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style...
Based on this guys findings, if a child had the choice to be adopted by either a gay or lesbian couple, they better put down lesbians as their preference. However, this article doesn’t really make argument that lesbians are better at being a parents than gays, but the only argument I heard in favor of gays is that the children only become more tolerant to other gays. I don’t know, it doesn’t really matter to me.
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I do not see a large difference between male and female couples adopting children. Though I do think it is important for children to have both male and female role models in their lives, these models do not necessarily have to be only their parents. A family should be a support system which spans far beyond just parents and children. There are a lot of issues surrounding gay adoption, but the bottom line is that children need positive family systems, a trait which is not dependent on parental sexuality.
Today there are plenty of children who are raised by only one parent. How is this more acceptable than being raised by two loving parents who were both obviously interested in adoption? As Sam said in class, gay couples never have kids by accident. Adoption is a long process, where potential parents are thoroughly screened and approved by many different social workers and adoption agents. If all parents were required to go through this screening before having children, we would likely have far fewer dysfunctional families and childhoods in our society.
I know that lesbian couple adoption happen more frequently, perhaps because of women’s internal motherly instinct. I do not think, however, that gay male adoption is a problem. Having two positive role models in one’s life is more than what many children with straight parents can say. If we focused more on finding parents who want to raise children and provide them with the best opportunities, support systems, and love possible, the question of sexuality would become a far smaller issue.
Furthermore, I agree with an above point that having homosexual parents does put an added strain of a child. There are a lot of factors, however, which put strain on a child. In my opinion, if somebody is raised with loving parents who explain to them that it is okay to be whoever or whatever you are, then that person would have the power to ignore any ridiculous comments about their parents. Having gay parents is no different than having straight parents. It is not about your parents’ sexualities which makes your childhood good or bad. It is about how they treat you, and how they prepare you for the world and the cruelties you will face no matter what your home situation may be.
It is hard for me to understand why people are so against gay adoption. If gays are interested in having children and willing to go through the difficult process to adopt them, then I am confident they will make good parents. Let’s worry more about the teenage girls, single parents, and dysfunctional families with children, and less about those who are fully prepared and highly interested in having a child.
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I think that gay couples in general would make better parents. The heterosexual divorce rate is about 50% today, and much lower for gays because they have a much bigger emotional bond, they are better at expressing their feelings to each other. I think it'd be natural for people to feel that lesbians would be better adoptive parents because women in general appear to be better caregivers. However, for two men wanting to adopt, they must be excited and willing to engage in those children's lives. I think that neither gay men nor lesbians would necessarily be a better set of parents. The relationship between the parents matters, but it's not all that matters.
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I do not think that there is any significant difference between adoptions between gay and lesbian couples. There are all different types of families that influence children. Some children have single parents, live with grandparents, or are even living with extended family members. Like Sam said in class most of these same sex couples are usually the most loving parents because they have wanted to have a child for so long. Also, they have to go through the rigorous adoption process, which is even harder for them because they are a homosexual couple. They will have planned for this child for so long that will absolutely do everything for that child. On the other hand with some heterosexual there are unplanned pregnancies. This does mean that those couple love their children any less, but it just insinuates just have much adopting a child means to these couples.
I think that it is also safe to say that all of these couples understand more than anyone else how important it is to have unconditional love and support. With the scrutiny that these individuals have had to face in their daily lives they will never put that on their children. I would imagine that they would be extremely open to what their kid want to do and participate in. Unconditional love and support would allow for their adopted child to thrive in an ever-changing world.
With this said I think that have two moms or dads would not make a difference in the amount of love that the child would receive. However, I do not think that the adoptive agencies think the same way. It seems to me that two women would have a lot better chance of adopting a child then two men. This would have definitely been true for two feminine gay men. I think most agencies would look at that couple as being a threat to the child’s well being. The underlying thing that at child needs is a safe, supportive, and loving home life. There is no study proving that two men can not do as good of a job then two women, so there is not reason to favor one sex couple over another.
Who has the power to say that one sex is better at raising a child? Granted women have the anatomical body to be a child carrier, but that does not mean that they are going to be good parents. The best parents are going to be the ones that love their children with everything they have to offer, and that can not be measured by which sex the couple that adopting is. So in a perfect world there should be no discrimination against homosexual couples, and then gay versus lesbian. Our world is not there yet, but we are working on getting to the equality that all human beings deserve.
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My original opinion about this subject was that it is probably more natural for a lesbian couple to adopt a child considering the assumption that women are naturally more nurturing than men. It would probably be less unusual for a kid to grow up with two moms than it would be for them to grow up with two dads. And I’m not entirely sure why but it’s just how I felt. Maybe it’s because you usually see women raising kids on their own. You rarely ever hear the term “single dads,” not to say that there aren’t any, they are just much less common. I also think many people would have issues with two gay men raising a child, specifically a boy. This may go along with the idea that more people are accepting of gay women than gay men, who knows. But for whatever reason, I originally thought that I condoned lesbian adoption more than gay male adoption.
But then I began thinking about how difficult it is for any gay couple to receive a child for adoption. And that if ANYONE goes through all of that, waiting years to receive a child; then they’re probably going to be incredible, loving parents no matter what their sexual orientation or background is. The more I thought about that the more I realized that out of anyone, gay couples deserve the respect of society for being parents and raising a child more than anyone. I also don’t understand why it is so difficult for a gay couple to be accepted for adoption. There are hundreds of thousands of kids without homes, why are we turning people down because of their sexual orientation? I know a teacher of mine wanted a child more than anything and it took her years to adopt a little girl from China because she wasn’t married. Even if you had something against gay individuals, wouldn’t you rather a child have a home than nothing at all? This is someone’s life, and I know there are studies on children raised by a gay couple (be it male or female) that show there is no difference between them and a child raised by a heterosexual couple. There are thousands of kids going from home to home because the foster care system in our country is failing. And from my knowledge, most gay couples are very financially stable and responsible.
On a random note; it is sad to think that two heterosexual people who just met could have a child in nine months without wanting it or planning it. And it could take a gay couple who want nothing more than to be parents ten years on a waiting list to receive a child.
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Up until this class, I had always said that I thought that two gay parents adopting was okay, but now I truly believe it. I felt like maybe I was just saying it before because I didn't give it much thought, or didn't really care, but this class opened my eyes to the reasons why it should be okay.
Like Sam said in class, gay couples that want to adopt are doing so because they desperately want a child. It's not like some couple accidently got pregnant and oops now they are stuck with a kid for 18 years. Gay couples, and even straight couples that want to adopt are doing it because they actually really want to be good parents and provide for their kids. To me, being in a family isn't about the roles, i.e. mom, dad, son, daughter, it's about loving each other and learning from one another to grow closer. Love knows no gender, especially when it comes to family.
A constant issue that comes up with a gay couple adopting is "this child isn't going to grow up with a dad (or mom)." Well the reality is that that statement holds true to about half of the children already. There are single moms and dads raising children all over the world. In my opinion, gay couples are probably so much better off at raising children than single parent households, or even divorced parents. There is so much speculation on how the child is going to turn out with gay parents, but look at the effects that divorce can have on young kids!
We also talked about in class how a child with gay parents doesn't have more of a chance of becoming gay than a kid with straight parents. After Sam said this I actually thought that a child would have even less of a chance because they would be seeing what their parents would have to go through. Although gays are becoming more accepted in today's society, I think that kids would still see and hear a lot of negative comments growing up. Either way though, gay couples should have an equal chance at adopting as any other couple. Just because they are gay, doesn't mean they can't provide shelter, food, and LOVE like any other parent, right?!
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I think Sam proposed a seriously valid point that many kids are subjected to not the most ideal parenthood. This leaves these children with less opportunity for success. Many of the links from class clearly display that more promising parents generally lead to more success including higher salaries, better jobs, and more economic stability. This generally leads to happiness for the children. I believe that if the situation was that there was a child who was being disregarded it would be in his best interest to be left in the hands of any parents.
I agree that a couple of two men or two women would be a good set of parents with great intentions for the child. I believe they would give the child the best attention as possible. They would treat the adopted child as they were there natural son or daughter. This would be really good in all for the child. These non-biological parents are a much better option for the kid and would benefit the child. Especially if the biological parents want no part of the kid if he or she was an accident and is ignore the kid may end up in jail or worse.
Now I would just like to offer the devil advocates point of view. Currently gay marriage is heading in the right direction towards acceptance. The older and more intelligent people become the more willing they are to accept gay and lesbian marriage and ownership of kids. It is the uneducated and lower class part of the American society in my opinion who are anti-gay. These people don’t accept the fact that gay parents are better than themselves at parenting the children. This fact is the same with elementary students. These kids think gay and lesbian jokes are funny and would ridicule a kid with “two moms or two dads”. As a pre-teen my feeling is this student would be made fun to the point that the youth couldn’t handle the situation and it could get extremely bad. This kid may have the feeling of such disappointment. There is nothing worse than a kid getting made fun of at a young age which can hurt his or hers confident for the rest of their life. But for a kid to be ridiculed about his or her parents would be crushing for the kid. The parents are children’s backbone for problem and if the kid is getting ridiculed about his or her parents it can get very bad.
The real question is would a child be more beneficial with his of her biological parents who are abusive or with adopted parents who are gay or lesbian and many people have their own opinions but I think the clear cut answer is the same sex parents would lead to a much more successful set of parents for the kid and a more promising future.
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Well I am disappointed in the discussion on Tuesday because there was so much to talk about and Sam only hit the tip. Yea we ran out of time but I thought he was going to hit a lot more. When it comes to me, I am pretty conservative. I do not care what gay or lesbian couples do as long as it is not around me. If gay couples want to adopt than why not. It would be better than living in an orphanage I could guess. And those children will probably grow up as better people who are more accepting of other people’s sexuality, and maybe also race and religion. There are too many factors to really think about. Maybe the parents raise the kid to trust no one and only look out for themselves. Basically any factor that could happen with a gay or lesbian couple could also be a problem with a straight couple. The one thing that worries me is a gay couple forcing their feelings with the children. Certain feelings should come to a child naturally, I mean my parents never even gave me the sex talk so I can’t really say anything but a kid should not think about unless he asks his parents, or it gets to that obvious point.
I also want to state something I said in my discussion group. A lot of the things Sam says do seem pretty obvious to most of us, maybe even to the point of common sense, but that is because we are all college educated students. I’m sure most of the posts on this blog are “I can’t believe people are still against gay marriage.” There are still a lot of people who live with blinders on. And politics do not want to pass gay marriage because they do not want to lose all of those donators and voters. I am sure most politicians do not even care, like me. There is only one thing I do not trust, and this is just me being me. Let’s say I have a wife and a kid and I live in a neighborhood and my neighbors are gay. I really do not care about them being gay but if they are talking to my kid and telling him how being gay is great, than that is where I cross the line. It may sound bad but I do not care. Like I said before, it should be natural and obvious, would you want any of your straight neighbors explaining sex to your own kids? I do not think so. So to answer the girl’s question. Go ahead gays, you can do whatever you want.
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I agree with the majority of the comments. I think that there are so many children out there who would do anything to have a family that I don’t see the problem of gay couples (female and male) adopting children. The children would definitely have better lives in the homes of gay parents than in orphanages so why not let them adopt?
And I guess that if you are comparing lesbian vs. gay couples, perhaps the main difference would be in what they can provide for the children. I think that the combination of the roles of a mother and a father are important when raising children. So I guess one of my concerns would also be the idea of children not having a mother or a father just because sometimes girls and boys like to go their mothers for certain things that they might understand better than their fathers and vice versa. But in all honesty, in the end I don’t think any of that matters. I think that as long as there is balance between the parents, and they are loving, supportive and motivational influences for their children I don’t think that there should be a problem.
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I guess I would partially agree with the idea of waiting for society to become more open about gay couples adopting children. I think that waiting for society to accept it would be beneficial for the sake of the children who will be teased, but I think that it’s going to be a long time until society becomes completely ok with that idea. I don’t think we can always just wait for society to change; we have to make it change. If other people have a problem with gay couples adopting children that is their problem. Unfortunately, the children and gay parents will face discrimination but children get teased all the time for so many reasons, whether it’s the color of their skin, their accent, their stature, you name it. I think what is important here is to perhaps implement programs in school about acceptance. I think it is extremely important to teach these things at an early age. Having a class similar to this one, but in an elemental level I think would help solve so many hate and violence problems in schools.
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I don’t usually use TV shows as examples, but I’ve started to watch this sitcom called Modern Family. The show talks about the daily lives of three families who are all related. The older father has two children, a daughter and a son. His daughter is married to a man and his son is gay and is married to a guy and they have just adopted a little girl. The gay couple seems like a really loving family and sometimes in the show they will show the reactions that they will get from other people and sometimes their own family. Overall I think it is great that they are showing these types of TV shows, because I feel that they will help make the idea of gay couples and gay adoptions more socially acceptable.
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In my own opinion I do not believe there is a difference whether two gay guys want to adopt a baby or child, or if two lesbians want to adopt a child. They both should have equal rights to obtain a child. Maybe some people may feel that women are genetically made to be a nurturer and caregiver. Therefore some people may believe that with lesbians, there are two mothers and therefore will be great at raising a child. People may think that they are more fit for adopting and raising children. I believe that men can equally be nurturing and take care of a child or many children just as well as straight people or lesbians. Both gays and lesbians should be able to adopt just as easily as straight people. I do no know a great deal of adoption but from what I hear it can really be a strenuous process with paper work and all. So why does the whole process have to be extra tedious for gay or lesbian couples wanting a family. In my discussion group we got into a great detail on homosexuals having children. As a group we agreed unanimously that we felt that homosexual couples should be able to adopt, without question, just as if a straight couple was trying to adopt. As long as they meet all the qualifications that anyone and everyone else does, they should not be judged by whether they are homosexual or heterosexual. Also my discussion group agreed that homosexuals should be able to adopt with out a problem because going through the process is intense but these people ACTUALLY want to have a child. A straight person can easily become parents for the most part unless they have some issue where they cannot, but also a straight person has to worry about those “accident” pregnancies. How is it fair that teenage girls have babies to whom some of them do not even care and raise that child in horrible conditions? Yet on the other hand homosexual couples that really want a child, provide for them, and have a child become a part of their family, yet can’t due to the discrimination toward gay and lesbian couples. It is just really frustrating, even being a heterosexual person, because homosexuals have such problems trying to create families. They should be able to have the same rights as any other person. I do feel that both gay men and lesbian women should be able to adopt with out any problem. I think they would both be capable of raising a child. I do not believe that on couple is more right than the other. I only know of one of my friends who have come from a homosexual family. This kid had two moms, I never really asked questions about if they had difficulties adopting or anything, but I think it would definitely be interesting to hear their story as well as their child’s story on growing up and raising a child with two moms. I just wish that more people were not as homophobic and accepted the fact they want families too just like any straight family.
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I think there is no difference between male couples and female couples adopting children. I think Sam hit the nail on the head in class on Tuesday when he said that since adoption procedures are stringent, every gay couple that adopts actually wants a child where some children from straight couples may be unwanted. I really don't think theres a real difference between a straight couple or a gay couple raising a child. It might even be better because the children may be open to different lifestyle
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I agree with the majority of responses so far that there should not be a difference between gay and lesbian couples adopting a child. As long as the couple is physically, mentally, and emotionally strong enough to properly raise a child, then who the heck cares what the couple’s sexual orientation is? I believe some homosexual couples even turn out to be better parents than heterosexual couples. Any couple that really wants a child should be able to have one; they are all equally deserving.
I guess I am also saying that if gay and lesbian couples should be equally able to adopt a child, then they should also be allowed to get married. I support homosexual marriage 100% because I believe that love is love, and if you happen to be attracted to someone of the same sex, then so be it. Just because there are religious values that do not support same-sex marriages doesn’t mean that everyone should feel this way. If your religion says you can’t marry someone of the same sex as you and you believe that, then don’t! Marry straight, but don’t judge homosexuals just because you wouldn’t do it yourself. After all, this is a free country – we should be allowed to be attracted to whom we are attracted to. This concept of gay/lesbian marriage is related to gay/lesbian adoption because they really go hand in hand. If one is okay, than the other should be okay, too.
Although I believe there is no difference between gay couple adoptions versus lesbian couple adoptions, I can see why some people would favor one over the other. I think the majority of people who believe there is a difference would favor lesbian adoptions because of the “women are primary caregivers” stereotype. Many people see women as the ones who stay home to clean the house and take care of the children, while the men go to work to make the money to pay the bills. So if two women have legal rights to a child, then there is potentially double the care. Those who favor gay adoptions may do so because of the fact that if a gay couple is pursuing adoption, they must REALLY want a child for obvious reasons. And those people who are completely against the act of homosexual couples adopting a child should keep that thought to themselves and let these couples do what they want to do, as I mentioned before. If you’re against it, then just don’t do it!
I think that once our society begins to recognize that some people are indeed attracted to the opposite sex and they start to accept this fact, this issue of homosexual adoption will no longer exist. I think this situation is in our foreseeable future; it’s just a matter of our society becoming more understanding of people’s differences.
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This is a really tricky issue, and I can see it both ways. In terms of lesbian vs. gay adoption I don’t really think that there is a difference. I think that the issue is gay adoption in general, meaning adoption by two men or two women. On one hand, I see no reason why it shouldn’t be allowed. There are so many children out there without home or with parents who can’t properly care for them, and if a gay couple wants to give them a loving home, I see no problem with that. But on the other hand I think about what that would be like for the kids growing up. They would surely be teased and maybe even exiled at school for having “two mommys” or “two daddys.” So should it be allowed? I honestly don’t know. I would really like to see it happen in the near future, but I think that before it can happen society has a whole needs to become more accepting of same sex couples.
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I really liked the point made in class on Tuesday by Sam about adoption by gay and lesbian couples. He said that if any homosexual couple is willing to go through the long and hard process of adopting a child, then they really must want a child. In contrast, a heterosexual couple can have a baby without even trying to. I feel like this is a really good point. Any homosexual that is able to adopt a child is most likely really going to love and appreciate the child. Of course, I also don’t mean that heterosexual parents don’t love and appreciate their children as well. This comment really got me thinking about homosexual couples adopting children, which is not something I’ve really considered before. I am a supporter of allowing homosexuals equal rights, and therefore I do support their adopting of children. I had never considered the distinction of male couples versus female couples in adopting children; however I don’t think it really makes a difference. The child will have two loving parents at home to care for it, which is one more parent that many children in single parent homes even have. Whether those parents are male or female doesn’t change their ability to raise the child.
However, regardless of how I feel, I do think that in the eyes of others, male gay couples would be perceived as less acceptable to adopt a child. In general, females are perceived to be the more nurturing and caring parents. However, there are many fathers who are as good or better parents to their child than the mothers are. There are even many single dads who are raising their children by themselves who are doing great jobs at raising their kids. I do feel like two males would experience a lot of difficultly in adopting a child however. The process of adopting a child is even very long and difficult for a heterosexual couple both within the United States and outside of the country. It can take years of being on a waiting list to be able to get a child, and even then there is no guarantee. Therefore, I can’t imagine how hard it would be for any homosexual couple to adopt, let alone for two gay men to. I feel like many adoption agencies have so many couples on the list to adopt a child, that they could discriminate against a homosexual couple, but either making them wait longer or by not allowing them to adopt a child at all. I don’t think that’s right at all, I just feel like in the adoption world it could and does occur.
I don’t think that two men or two women would be any less able to successfully raise a child than a male and a female couple. They can provide the same love and care that a heterosexual couple can. Therefore, I think that both male and female homosexual couples should be allowed to adopt a child.
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In response to the question, “How do you feel about gay men couples adopting versus a lesbian couple adopting?” Personally I think that both lesbian and gay couples should be able to adopt children. Obviously they cannot consummate children on their own and adopting gives them the ability to have a family like many people want. I don’t understand why people don’t think that gay people should be allowed to adopt. Gay couples will care just as much for their kids as a straight couple, if not more. There are so many children in need of a loving home but the government doesn’t want to give these kids a home in a gay household, that is completely ridiculous. A loving home is a loving home. A gay couple will often care even more for the adopted children because they care so much to have a kid that they are willing to adopt and go through all of the processes needed to do so. No there will not be the “picturesque” mother and father but the child will still have two parents who love for them, which is more than many children in America have.
In regards to the question I think she may have been asking if people think either lesbians or gay men are more qualified to adopt. I would say that I do not think it makes any difference between the two and that they are both highly qualified to adopt. It really depends on the actual people and not a couple’s sexuality. Whether a couple is gay, lesbian or straight will not affect children as much as if they are caring and loving parents. There are so many more qualified gay couples out there than straight couples who have children. I find it so sad that couples are unable to start a family like they hope for because of stupid laws and prejudices. It is time to overcome all of our stupid preconceptions about what a family should look like or what color of skin makes you “superior”. What makes one person think that they are better or more qualified than another? What does sexuality have to do with being a good parent?
Our LGBT class was so interesting because it amazes me how closed-minded people can be and how unaware they are of what is going on in the world around them. What is the difference between a gay couple and a straight couple holding hands? Nothing! People just see things differently; they see more PDA because to them it is not as acceptable. What makes a good couple is that the two people care about each other and help each other become better people- not that they are of opposite sexes. I really hope that in the near future all couples will be able to not only adopt children but also be completely open about their sexuality and be accepted for it!
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I never stopped to really think about a lot of the questions or topics that were proposed during class and here on the blog. I do not consider myself a homophobe or intolerant, but I just do not know many gays or lesbians. Therefore, I have not really been too exposed to these types of issues, and because they did not affect me directly or indirectly, I never really worried about LGBT problems. The only time I would hear about them was when I would see stories on the local news or in the newspaper. Whenever I thought of the words gay or lesbian I immediately thought of gay rights or gay marriage. Those were the only issues I really associated with the LGBT community, and yet being that provincial in my thinking, I never even looked into them. Also, I never talked about homosexuality growing up. I don’t know if people close to me avoided the topic or if it just never came up because everyone in my family is heterosexual. Having said all of that, the little bit I did think about the topic was based around the fact that I thought men were meant to be with women and vice versa. Why else would that be the only way that humans can achieve the goal of procreation? Even though I didn’t think that homosexuality was natural (I thought of it as more of a choice), I respected everyone and agreed with the fact that lesbian and gay couples should receive the same rights that heterosexual couple’s get. We are all people, and if you love a person of the same sex, you should be able to get married and have the same rights as a heterosexual married couple. A lot of things in class made me change my views on homosexuality, and I think it is just because I never hung out around gays or lesbians. When Sam asked how many people have asked a gay person if he or her chose to be gay or if it was just a natural thing, it made me think. It made no sense for me to believe something about homosexuality without being gay or at least talking to homosexuals and hearing their stories. Hopefully my discussion group will talk more about these topics because I think they are interesting and will lead to some better debates, but back to the actual question. I do not think there is a difference between a gay male couple adopting a child and a lesbian couple adopting a child. If anything, people have a problem with gay people in general adopting a child because they fear that the child will have a higher chance of also being gay. This is a pretty ludicrous thought because even if they do, there is nothing wrong with that and data shows that the thought isn’t true anyway. The only important thing is that children have a safe environment and supporting parents whether that’s a dad and a dad, a mom and a mom, a mom and dad, a single parent, etc. Any type of sexuality can be a capable parent.
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In my opinion, difference between gay couples adopting a child and lesbian couple adopting a child could be how they role as a parents. In other words difference is in LGBT parents’ own male and female identification. I think these differences does not cause problems to love children and raise kids. In fact difference that causes problems is how society goes against LGBT people adopting a child. I know how Sam has talked about our society’s perspective is changing and people accept more LGBT people but we can not deny the fact that many older generations have negative connotation towards LGBT community. Whether we like it or not these ideas has impacted our society as they had power to go against LGBT community. As a result, LGBT couples get no rights to certain things that other heterosexual couples are allowed.
It is really interesting see how people are going again LGBT community not by personal opinion but by ideas from others. When we see religious people, they go against LGBT mainly because other religious leaders opposes to LGBT marriage. I mean what right does these leaders have to decide what people think about LGBT people? How can you not question them in first place? They just don’t care enough to think that sexual orientation could be different for some people. I don’t mean that all religious leaders are wrong about their thought but I mean that we should keep our faith based on our thoughts. It is time for us to judge LGBT based not by what other people say.
I think some LGBT couples can raise their child really well. As Sam mentioned in class, LGBT couples are really determined to raise their child when they decided to adopt a child. They are absolutely willing to raise a child and I think they will put their efforts to achieve that. In some sense they will raise their kids better than heterosexual couple, who do not want their child. LBGT couples will know what it means to have a child. Another positive impact can be how LGBT couples can open up different sexual choice for their kids.
Regardless all this positive influence, I think our society is not ready to accept LGBT communities yet. It is partly true that younger generations are more accepting LGBT communities but our society still discriminates LGBT communities. We can see how gay guys are bitten up in high schools. When we apply this fact into our original question, I can’t imagine how much pressure could be put into kids, who are raised by LGBT parents. Kids will have to deal with other negative connotation put their parents without knowing. For now, negative connotation towards LGBT communities itself causes problem for LBGT couples to adopt a child.
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I believe that it is thought to be more accepted for female gay couples to adopt children than male gay couples. Females are generally thought of as more nurturing and better suited to handling children while males are generally thought of as the bring home the bacon but leave the mothering to the females sort of people. Since most people are raised to believe somewhat these standards when people think about gay couples adopting and caring for children they would be more accepting of lesbians raising the kids than gay males. I do however believe that gay males are just as good at raising and nurturing adopted kids as lesbians.
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I talked to my mother once about Gay Marriage. She doesn't like the idea because she thinks that the major reason for marriage is procreation– most major religions believe that sex outside of marriage is a sacrilege, so her idea is that marriage is an institution built to sanctify the act of sexual intercourse, and therefore, procreation. She says that a child growing up in a home with homosexual parents could potentially be confused about the "father" role that a male would traditionally play, and the "mother" role that a woman would traditionally fulfill.
Personally, I befriended a set of triplets in middle school that I was friends with all through high school and to this day. Their mother has been in a relationship with another woman since the triplets were about three years old, and they have been living with her since they were six. The triplets consist of one boy and two girls, and you know what? They're not confused about traditional mother/father roles. And you know what else? The boy isn't effeminate or gay, either. Their mother loves them to death, and her partner cares for them like she would her own children. Their family is an incredibly loving one and you can see that, even from an outsider's perspective. So do I think same-sex couples should be allowed to raise children? Definitely!
As for the parenting skills of two men or two women go, I see no particular difference.
In my Psychology of Gender class, PSYCH 231, we talk about the female stereotype that all women are born to be nurturers, armed with powerful maternal instincts, and the urge to care for anything that breathes and has a heartbeat. So I can see that a lot of people would think that lesbian parents could be the better choice.
I, however, believe that men are equally capable of taking care of children and loving them unconditionally, just as any other lesbian, or even any heterosexual set of parents could. They're human beings, too. And, if they're willing to go through the gauntlet that is adopting a child into a homosexual family, then, by god, they obviously care.
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This question produces a couple different ideas in my mind. Personally, in my opinion I don't see anything wrong with gay couples adopting a child. I think if the two individuals are willing to be loving and caring parents and want the responsibility of raising a child then they should be allowed to do so without being scolded by others. I think a gay couple should be able to have the same rights as a lesbian couple does. Overall, my opinion of gay and lesbian couples has always been that it's not something I would be into but if it was something they wanted to do then why not let them, it's their choice that they should be able to make themselves. So in regards to gay couples adopting children why not let them? Although I think they should be able to adopt a child if they so chose, I do see where society as a whole may have a different opinion on that. In general, lesbian couples are more widely accepted than gay male couples. That being said, since lesbian couples are already more accepted than gay couples it makes sense that people in society would be more against a gay couple adopting a child rather than a lesbian couple adopting a child. In general, I think it's no surprise that men are given the "macho man" stereotype while females are given the "nurturing mother" stereotype. People have a tendency to automatically assume that females are more capable of taking care of children especially since we give birth to the babies in the first place. However, although I do agree that most females are very capable of taking care of a child, men can be just as capable of taking care of children. I have quite a few friends whose father has raised them since they were born and their mother is not currently in their life for whatever the reason may be. Sometimes there are people in life that aren’t fit to be parents but that doesn’t mean that people should assume that it’s the male in the relationship. With that being said, it’s extremely unfair to point the finger at a gay couple and say that they are unfit to be parents just because they are gay. The chances are if they are willing to go through all the hard work, paper work, and lengthy process of adopting a child, they are probably doing so because it’s something they really have a desire to do and are most likely capable of being really great parents. If they didn’t think they were capable of bringing up a child, then they probably wouldn’t want to go through that whole process and spend all that money. Maybe one day, but most likely not any day soon, gay couples shouldn’t be criticized for wanting to adopt a child.
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I think that it makes no difference whether a gay couple who are male or a gay couple who are female adopt a child. My opinion is that both sets of couples have just as much of a right to adopt a child as a straight couple. I also believe, however, that it is important for each and every child to have a male and female role model or figurehead in their life. I think this figure could easily be a family friend though. This is the same problem that occurs when one parent passes away or leaves for a number of other reasons and a child is left without a parent, so I don't think that this is enough of a problem to keep a couple from adopting, even if they are a gay or lesbian couple. If one parent dies or a spouse leaves a childs life, I dont think any reasonable person would say that, regardless of how suitable the parent with the child is, that they should give up their child because they cannot be both a mother and a father figure to the child. The reason I think it may cause a bit of a problem for a child of a same sex couple, is not knowing societys expectations of how a boy/girl or man/woman typically act or should behave in certain circumstances. In some cases, I think this could be good for a child, but more often than not, I think it would cause the child some potential problems later in life. When I think it would be more of a problem is when the child is of a different sex than the parents. In this case, the childs only exposure to the actions or expectations is from the media. I dont think anyone would be comfortable with popular media being someones exposure to something. In most cases, a gay couple, whether male or female, could be just as suitable, if not more-so than a straight couple. As Sam said in class, a gay couple who can not produce a child of their own may be even more suited to be a parent and show that child more love than a straight couple who has a child by accident. Just because someone is capable of reproducing a child, does not, by any means make them a capable parent who will love a child and show him or her the love that they deserve. I dont think the sexual orientation of a person has any bearing whatsoever in their capabilities as a parent.
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I have no problem with gay or lesbian couples having kids. If you know how to raise a child and know how to, you have every right to do so. It shouldn’t matter if you have two dads or two moms, what matters is you have two elders, who love each other and are together, taking care of a child, which we don’t have as much of anymore as we used to. The divorce rate with heterosexual couples is way to high, so why don’t we care when they adopt someone. If you can raise them the right way and guide them in a direction of right and wrong you are doing the right thing. The only issue I could see is that the parents push their sexual tendencies on their children, and if this is avoided then who cares. They can educate their kids on it but allow them to make their own choice. Other than that issue, hell I could care less if you are same sex trying to adopt a child, as long as you love them and take care of them it’s a ok with me.
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My thoughts are there is absolutely no difference the children are going to get harassed in school for having gay parents if they are male or female. If you have to break it down I would prefer two males they would probably most likely have a higher income and possibly give children a better life. But having two moms would be great also because you would just be a better person. Which bring me to the thought that having one of each would probably be the best for any child? It sucks that this is the way I feel but I think it’s because I know it’s true having gay parents probably isn’t the best thing but its going to happen and as long as a child is cared for and given love isn’t all that truly matters in this harsh would we live in.
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There isn’t any difference to me between gay males or women raising children. If there is love present between the couple and a happy environment in the home then how would you object to that? There are many neglected children in the world living in broken homes. Children are being abused everyday in the world by male and women marriages, but you don’t see anyone saying things about why some of these marriages shouldn’t have children. Its certain people who shouldn’t have children, not whether they are gay or not. If a child grows up with two women or males in their life then they don’t find it abnormal. They may question the situation but if you explain to them that love is the bond between them and when two people love each other they get married and start a life together, then there shouldn’t be a problem. It is our job in society to accept these things so it doesn’t raise questions to the children in the families because if they don’t feel any different than other children everything will be ok. I also agree with another student that when gay men or women agree to adopt a child it is a well throughout decision by them. They agree that their relationship is healthy and loving enough to raise a child. There’s no chance of them accidently getting pregnant and having to be thrown into raising a child and maybe having a chance of it not being a suitable environment for the child. Their intentions are true and therefore help insure the child is raised correctly. All that is important in a family gay or not is that the child grows up with a loving family. I don’t believe love has standard and anyone can love anyone no matter gender. I find nothing wrong with two partners adopting a child. People in society should also accept it because at the end of the day it isn’t any of our business anyways. Don’t judge people because of who they love, be happy for them, everyone wants to find that certain someone that they can spend the rest of their life with and if it so happens to be with the same gender then so be it. Times are changing in America and everywhere else in the world we need to adjust our outlook and something’s.
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Additional Blog #1
It should not matter whether it is two men adopting a child or two women adopting a child. All that really matters is whether or not that child is getting the proper care that he or she needs. The sexual orientation of the parents should not matter at all. I think we put way too much emphasis on what the typical family should be. We complain that homosexual couples that are trying to adopt children are unfit parents simply because they do not fit the social norm or the typical family. . So what! Stop looking at the appearance or the gender of both parents and focus on what is really important—the child
Furthermore, we also say that being homosexual goes against the bible. There is no possible way we should let these people adopt children. That is not how it was written. Well I hate to bust your bubble angles, but I’m pretty sure that it also was not written that we who are so called “righteous” should be able to pick and choose which parts of bible we would follow on a day to day basis. So please stop trying justify what a real family is just based off of appearance and religion. Understand that family is much more than a picture perfect image! A family is a group people who care for one another, takes care of one another, and loves one another!
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I think both gay and lesbian couples should be allowed to adopt children. I have heard all of the arguments that children are even often times better off with gay and lesbian families, because only those couples who really want children will get them. As a result the children are usually raised in a financially stable home, and the parents are more likely to be loving and affectionate to them. However, there is the one down side that never escapes my thoughts, and that is the fact that when that child gets to about 5th grade and kids start learning about sexual education and homosexuality, then that child is very likely to be ridiculed and outcast from the group. No matter what, that child will always be the kid with two mommies or two daddies, and that will inevitably be difficult for the child. However, even after weighing this possible factor into the argument, I still think that the quality of the family that the child is getting outweighs the negatives of the child having a few tough years.
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Parenthood is not easy from bawling babies to terrible teenagers to know-it-all adults a parent’s job never stops. A parent is someone who raises you, who can teach you morals, manners and is there to help you with your small booboos and the big scratches. With this broad definition of parent it is difficult to deny parenthood privileges to gays, lesbians and bisexuals because they can carry out the roles of being a parent to the same degree as “Hetero” parents. What is funny to me is that in reality, an astounding number of “hetero” parents may not even be classified as parents at all; they abuse their children verbally and physically and may be hindering their development in these ways. Yet, they still refuse to admit that two loving mothers may be better than an abusive mother and father partnership.
However, it seems that there may be some differences between raising a child with a mother and a father versus raising a child with two mothers or two fathers. Although I am just speculating, it would seem that having two mothers might be the equivalent to growing up with a single mother, because the father figure is absent. Likewise, in the case of two fathers the mother figure it absent. Growing up with one parent can be hard; a child can feel that they don’t always have someone they can relate to. However, no one has ever stopped a single parent from raising a child, so can they fairly stop a lesbian couple or a gay couple from adopting?
Although a child may receive the same nurturing from the two mothers, would a son feel comfortable talking to his two mothers about puberty, or feelings he may be having towards girls? Similarly, would a daughter feel comfortable talking to her two mothers about feelings she has towards boys? Is it possible that one of the two mothers or fathers can take on the role of the missing member of the opposite sex in order to avoid the feeling of a “missing piece” of a child’s development?
Is there a difference between having two mothers and two fathers? Would there be more crazyness in a house with women than with men due to a larger amount of hormones? Would the two fathers be stricter than the two mothers? In the show Glee, one of the main characters has two dad’s and they raised her by making her a singing and dancing star. This is somewhat stereotypical of gay men, but would a gay couple be willing to play catch with their son or daughter? These are questions that I ask myself regarding this issue.
In class we found that children of gay and lesbian couples are more loved because a child is not easy for them to have, this love is enough. As long as a child can receive love, I believe that nothing else matters.
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I honestly don't believe that there is any difference between a lesbian couple adopting and a gay couple adopting. I only have two guy friends who are gay and one lesbian friend. I actually had this conversation with her the other weekend and she made the comment that is harder for her to find someone to be with. She isn't the type of person to just date from person to person and in my town gays and lesbians are not really accepted. I come from a small farm town where nothing is accepted, except what is to be believed as normal. What she was saying was that when she is dating someone she is looking for an actual relationship since finding someone around my town is sorta hard. My two gay friends, one is in relationship searching for a house to buy and the other one is still single looking for someone. What I am getting as is these relationships are the same as heterosexual relationships. They have to go through all the same background checks and observations as the every couple, so i don't see why it is a big deal if lesbians or gays adopt. They love one another as much as the next relationship and they would not put a child into the equation if it was not a stable environment to raise them in. To be good parent, role model, teacher, or anything in a child's life depends on your heart and how much you love that child. Not if you are gay or lesbian, black or white. It is true though that a gay couple has a harder time being adoptive parents because there is still the concern with a child growing up without a "mother figure." There are views that gay men are sexual predators and should not be permitted to be around children. There is also the fear that the child will also be gay if raised by gay parents. Most of the time though gay couples are not selective are there child that they adopt. Heterosexual couples almost always want to adopt a newborn baby, but gay couples are more open to the idea of older children. I think that any couple should be allowed to adopt as long as it a loving and caring environment. There are tests and observations that adopting agency go through before they just give a child to someone. They would be able to discover if these individuals were actually a threat to anyone. When an gay couple adopts and that child grows up in that household , they will be accepting of others. The world today is cruel to the individuals that are "different" and for a child to grow up in that environment it opens their eyes to an entirely different world compared to being raised by a straight couple. And lets say this child themselves are "different" how would a straight couple handle that situation compared to a gay couple when all they hope for is acceptance. They would be so much more understanding.
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If a couple is thinking about adopting a child, it’s not like they just go to the hospital and choose a baby and leave. They have to first of all apply to an agency and be put on a list and before they are even put on a list, they have to meet all kinds of standards that the agency has proving that they, as a couple, can provide for a child. To me, I think if any couple or even a single person proves that they can provide for a child and proves that they want a child and are read to care for one, it does not matter if they are gay. And not only does not sexuality matter, but whether you are a lesbian or a gay male. I feel as though if a person is applying to adopt a child, then they are ready for the responsibility and have financial stability and are able to care for a child, why should gender matter? I feel as though both males and females bring something to the table when raising a child, but everyday there are single fathers and single mothers who bring up children who are perfectly fine. So, if a lesbian couple, a gay couple or a straight couple want to adopt a child, I feel as though they are all equal. A child being adopted by any of those families will have a loving home. I feel as though they will go into a loving home because if a family is adopting a child, it is because they really want a child. And if they are a gay couple, together they cannot make a child, so they have to adopt one. It’s not like going to the store and picking up a new toy, they really want children together. Couples are usually balanced, so if a child is going into a lesbian, gay, or straight family, I feel as though they will get an equal balance of parenting; it does not matter if a child has a mother and a father, they will still have two parents, whether it be two mothers or two fathers. I cannot say that one couple would be better than another because to me, everyone is good at something and everyone is bad at something; all couples with children will have their challenges and flaws in parenting but parenting together is how they make it work. All couples adopting children will love that child the same or even more than a couple who makes a child together. I feel as though if a couple wants to adopt a child and is able to care for this child, it should not matter what gender they are or what their sexual orientation is.
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I do not think that there is any difference among a gay parent or couple adopting, a lesbian parent or couple adopting, or a heterosexual parent or couple adopting a child. As long as the parent or parents to a child is loving, nurturing, and caring, the child will turn out just fine. I know a lesbian couple that had their own child. This little girl is one of the most confident, smartest, capable children I’ve ever met. Although she is only seven now, she has no problem at all with having two mommies. From what I can tell, she does not think anything of it. I do not think she will ever have a problem with having two mommies. Both of her parents are loving, caring, and nurturing people. This little girl expresses herself in whichever way she feels. She once told me that her favorite color was pink and that she cannot wait to start dance class. Although her preferences are not important based on her parents’ orientation, my point is that they are not influenced. Her mom’s favorite color happens to be pink as well.
Although I do not know a gay person or couple who has adopted a child, I do not see any reason how or why the adoption and the well being of the child would be different from the lesbian couple I know who had their child.
I can understand, however, that at some point in the child’s life, the child may be uneasy by his or her parents’ sexual orientation just because the child’s parents could be seen as different, and different could be seen as negative. But from what I’ve viewed and heard, the adopted child will turn out just fine, and I have no problem with homosexual adoption.
It seems silly to me that people would have a problem with homosexual adoptions. Like Sam said in class, homosexuals have a child because they want one, where as heterosexuals may have a child by accident. Parents who want a child will treat him or her the way a parent should treat his or her child. It also seems silly to me that people would be more okay with a lesbian person or couple adopting than with a gay person or couple adopting a child. Parenting depends solely on the type of person you are, not on your sexual orientation. Quite frankly, I think that it’s great that gay and lesbian people or couples want to adopt a child. All children deserve a comfortable and loving family to be a part of.
If people are uncomfortable with gay or lesbian parents pushing their sexual orientation upon their adopted children, there is no need to worry. This is not going to happen. Like Sam said, if anything, an adopted child adopted by a person who is gay or lesbian who happens to be gay or lesbian him or herself, will probably be more at ease coming out to his or her family.
This issue is not something for the public to be uncomfortable with.
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This is a really interesting topic. I have thought about the fact whether gay and lesbian couples should adopt, but I never thought of it as whether one couple would be better or more qualified than the other. I do not think there is a difference between gay or lesbian couples adopting a child. If these couples want to have a child so much, than they must have so much love for both each other and for children. Both genders have the right to adopt a child, especially since they are not able to naturally have a child together. As long as the couple has all of the required elements to adopting a child, they should definitely be able to.
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If people who are encountering so much hate and resistance are willing to raise a child, they must really want it. I do not think it makes a difference if the parents are straight, gay, or lesbian as long as they are physically and emotionally able to support the child and bring the child up in a loving atmosphere.
Just because of the way that society has been structured for so many years, it has become odd for many people to see a couple of the same-sex. I really believe that this concept stems from the idea that in order to raise a child you need to have both a female and male influence. By this I do not mean that two women or two men cannot successfully raise a child on their own, but in order for the child's development to progress normally it is essential that they have exposure to the opposite sex as well. This could be a grandparent, aunt, uncle, friend…it really does not matter who the individual is as long as the child is able to seek their support.
What happens often though is that a new family tends to separate themselves off from the rest of the world because they are a new unit and want to function as such. If this happened in a same-sex couple with a child, that child could be developmentally hindered from lack of exposure to the opposite sex. This could be especially problematic in adolescence and puberty, when the child is trying to identify themselves.
It might be easier for many people to accept two women raising a child on their own because it has been done before. When a husband passes away, mothers are often left on their own to raise the children. Usually the people who come in to offer consistent help are other females. When a wife dies and the father is left alone to raise the children, it is usually not other men that throw their hats in to help.
Additionally, the nurturing characteristic is more apparent in women than it is in men. However, I do believe that these attributes are chemically based and that if a male had the right chemical composition, he could have many of the same characteristics that are innate to women, and vice versa. This being said, it is just as possible that many women lack the correct composition to be nurturing and that the man could get the job done better.
I certainly support adoptions by any sort of couple. I think anyone could successfully raise a child as long as there is a good balance for the child. What adoption agencies look for is a loving family. A family can consist of many types of individuals. Like Sam said in class, a gay couple could be better fit to raise a child because they actually really desire the child.
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Personally I don’t think there is much of a difference between gay male parents and gay female parents. In fact, I think that many gay couples would make better parents than a lot of straight couples. The only reason that this is really an issue is because of today’s society and our perceptions of gay couples. Children of gay couples are normal compared to other children, both physically and mentally. However, with homosexuality so severely frowned upon by much of the world today, they are simply not treated the same as a child of a straight couple. Although it is true that there may be some facets of parenting that cannot be met by a gay couple, I do not think that this negatively affects their children. For example, a gay female couple lacks a male “role model” in the family, which may have some effect on their children, but honestly I think that any effect would be negligible. I really do not know any statistics on this, but I would assume that there are far less cases of spousal abuse in gay couples that straight couples. If this is true, then we would be able to assume that on average, children of gay couples would have a healthier childhood within the house. But once again this leads us to society and how much stress it puts on gay couples, in both their relationship and their children. We have all heard the stories of children getting ridiculed or called gay themselves just because their parents are, which is not true at all. Surprisingly, many of the kids who make fun of these children learn about this from their parents. So many news stories involve parents, a lot of the time Catholic parents, who feel so uncomfortable about having their child attend school with children of a gay couple that they actually encourage their children to ridicule the kids in an attempt to get them to withdraw from the school. This is absolutely preposterous, especially since the bible says to treat your neighbors as you would want to be treated. If parents never found out that their children attended school with the child of a partners, then this problem would not exist. However, news travels so fast that often an entire town can know about a family in a matter of days, which puts that added pressure on their children in schools. If we put 100 children in a school, 95 from straight couples and 5 from gay couples, I can guarantee you that no one would be able to tell them apart. Hopefully one day we will all realize that being raised by a gay couple does not make you gay, nor make anyone that you hang out with become gay. Some people are just so childish.
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I do not believe there is any difference between women (lesbians) or men (gays) adopting children. In fact, I agree whole-heartedly with Sam when he said that having children for gays might even be better than for straight couples because when gay people adopt, it's never an "oops" or an accident. It is very well planned, and though lesbian or gay couples can still break up like straight couples do, adoption is a good way to help out children living without any parents at all.
I may be biased, though. I have a friend, a man, who is adopted by two lesbian women. He never actually told me, though, and I wish I knew why. I think he's embarrassed, or afraid to tell anyone, for fear of how they might react. TO be honest, I think I'd be the same way, but it upsets me that our world is even like that at all. I know a lot of other welcoming people, besides myself, and i think that it shouldn't be weird for people to come out and say they have lesbian parents. Of course, it might seem "random" or "awkward" to just come out and say "My parents are gay," but so is telling people that my dad died. Sometimes I just let people talk about my dad paying for things, or my dad helping me with science projects – I don't even bother saying that he died. Yet, sometimes it is appropriate to say something, and I wish that he felt comfortable telling me instead of hinting around. I ended up running into them at the mall last Spring, and all of my previous assumptions were true. Though I had to put the pieces together, instead of him telling me, it seemed like they were all in a full, healthy relationship. He's over 21 now, and his moms are still together. He is completely stable, smart, funny, and adjusted. I don't think he would turn out any different if he had a "male" figure in his life, but that is only a guess.
Even today’s television is addressing the issue of gay adoption. Most recently, the TV show Modern Family, revolving around somewhat dysfunctional but loving family relationships, showed two gay men adopting a baby girl from China. I believe that this is breaking the mold and should show people who are against gay adoption that it is OK. In my opinion, it is better for the children to have ANY loving parent, rather than none. They shouldn’t have to wait for a straight couple to adopt them, and they will have a better life with two loving parents, no matter the sexuality, rather than none at all.
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