This website uses IntenseDebate comments, but they are not currently loaded because either your browser doesn't support JavaScript, or they didn't load fast enough.
1809253 Responseshttp://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/lgbt-class-question-six/LGBT+Class%3A+Question+Six2010-02-17+02%3A34%3A39Sam+Richards to LGBT Class: Question Six
I believe that the term lesbian is more widely accepted in today’s society because most of the people, who oppose of gay relationships, are men. I think that many carry this stigma that they shouldn’t associate or talk about gay men because that may mean that they support them in some sort of way. I think that people better accept lesbians because it almost seems more natural for two women to be together then two men. I think for men especially, it’s easier to believe why two women would want to be in a relationship rather than two men. Men are always portrayed in a dominant light which makes it so hard to understand why a man would need emotional as well as physical support from another man. When one thinks of a stereotypical lesbian couple, they think of one woman who is the “butch” and the other who is much more sensitive and loving. With a gay couple, there are often notions of two different types of personalities in a relationship but that is not always the case.
Many people cannot find it reasonable that gay people don’t necessarily have to fit into the cookie cutter pattern of the typical gay relationship. I also believe that being a lesbian comes with the preconceived notion that all lesbians are being “sexy” in having relations with another woman. When people often think of lesbians they think of they often have a distinct image in their head. I think most of this is due to society and the media. There are so many productions that have the stereotypical lesbians who make out on cue. Because of this, the general public views lesbians as socially acceptable. It’s only when they find someone who does not fit in these guidelines do they think it’s not okay. Many movies showing gay men aren’t so popular.
In the movie Brokeback Mountain, two cowboys fall in love and confess their love for each other. This movie went under many criticisms for being so candid in showing a gay relationship. Other movies that show lesbians do not have this same reaction. For many men, I think they wouldn’t have to be asked twice to watch a movie that contained lesbians. However, if the same type of guy was offered to watch Brokeback Mountain, I’m sure he would be completely hesitant. I also think men feel like lesbians only like other women for attention, that they aren’t necessarily in love each other, but are just feeling out their options. Based on this, I think it’s easier for people to imagine that two women are together just because they are just “exploring”, rather than two men being in a romantic relationship.
This poses an interesting question. I would argue that lesbians are more accepted into our culture for a couple of reasons. One of those reasons is because society has allowed them to be. Sam brought a few points in class that struck me: At first he asked what males in the class watched porn. Though met with reluctance, the majority of the class’s male population raised their hands. When he asked who in the class did not watch porn, nobody raised their hands. Whether it’s considered a taboo subject or not, porn is something that inevitably present in our society. A few moments after Sam said that 98.9% of all pornography includes a girl-on-girl sex scene. Because it is the context of “straight porn” this is automatically understood by men (and woman) as an acceptable expression of erotica.
Another thing that I found interesting was the fact that women are more likely to experiment with other women than men with other men. However, while it included oral and anal sex within the male population, it never specified what sexual acts women were participating in. How many times have you walked into a bar and have seen two girls making out? I bet if we took a class poll a significant fraction of the women would admit to doing it. Whether it’s based in love, an experiment, or an attempt to garner attention from men, it happens. It is also a lot less of a big deal than the acts of oral and anal sex as specified among males.
Because women are naturally more expressive, they have less difficulty showing affection or an attraction to people of the same sex. I was recently having a conversation with two friends of mine about how one is more likely to hear a woman comment on the attractiveness of another woman rather than a man about another man. I believe my male friends exact words were, I could never go up to someone and say “my, what a handsome dude! “ Aside from the occasional comment about Brad Pitt, men tend to stray away from such conversations.
We must also stop and ask ourselves, to what extent is society actually accepting lesbians. Is it that they support the actual loving union between two women? Or, is it that the actual homosexual act that they find exciting? There is a huge difference between getting turned on by two women going at it and being a guest at their wedding (or “civil union”). Interestingly enough, some men that I know that like girl-on-girl porn, tend to use the words “dyke” and “butch” when referring to lesbians. What is it about the relationship and the commitment that makes people so uncomfortable?
I agree with you that gay women are more accepted then gay men in society. I think that a lot of it has to do with societal norms and stereotypes. In our culture, men are depicted as strong, macho people who aren’t supposed to show emotion. Although I completely disagree with societies depiction of male, this is the case. When people hear the word gay men, they automatically think of super feminine stereotypical gay man. I know that’s not right, but that’s how society depicts gay men. Some straight men get very uncomfortable because it’s not the normal “macho” way.
I think society or at least the straight males in society view lesbians as sexually appealing. Seeing two women kiss turns on many men. The prevalence of this fact is shown in popular culture such as film and the highly successful porn industry. I think when straight men think of lesbians, they think of a lot of good-looking women instead of the manlier looking lesbians. I feel that two good-looking lesbians are accepted more in society then two manly looking lesbians.
Throughout history, there have been times where women have tried to act like men. Many women have struggled to be treated equally as men so maybe that has something to do with the fact that more accepted. Women have fought hard for rights in life and work to be treated equally. We forget that at one time there weren’t women sport teams and women couldn’t join the army. Their struggle is on-going today, with many positive changes. Society has seen women trying to act more like men then men trying to act more like women. I’m certainly not saying that all gay women act like men and that all gay men act like women. I’m saying that the stereotypical gay man’s picture in society is a feminine one instead of the “macho” norm. In history, there hasn’t been a moment where men tried to act or be treated the same way as women. There are straight men who are metro sexual and still get ridiculed. Why is it such a big deal that a man enjoys shopping, dresses well, tans and looks good? For heavens sake, men who are nurses get made fun of because its’ typically a women’s profession. It’s sad that our society makes fun of someone because they save lives. This ridicule is extremely prevalent in society and pop culture again. In the movie, Meet the Parent, Ben Stiller’s character is a male nurse. He is constantly made fun of by his girlfriend’s father because of his “feminine” profession. In closing, if society makes fun of straight men so much for doing “feminine” activities, then gay men must get it even worse. Hopefully, this will all change in the near future.
I think it might because of the gender discrimination– don't misunderstood me, because in the history man are always considered as the representation of power, strength, and duty/responsibility. That makes it harder to link the image of a man to a gay man. As what I learned that one guy of a gay couple is usually considered as "ukeru" in Japanese, which means to recieve, to get… (yeah you know what I mean). So people usually kind of don't like it. This override the normal expectation of a man by normal people. That makes this problem. While girls don't have this problem because if a girl acts manly, or at least shows some men's features, we won't have bad feelings towards that. Instead, we might think that she's cute or somewhat sexy. That makes it different for lesbians and gays. The lesbians are okay to be accepted while the gays are not that easy going with the majority of people. So what I think is that we really need to change our mind and reconsider it: that no one, no matter his or her gender, is born be like something, we all ought to born just like ourselves! So let the gay/lesbian acceptance thing slide through. It doesn't really matter if you take a broader perspective.
I think that the difference is due to various reasons. You obviously have to take into account the fact that most straight men find lesbians a turn on, so automatically, that gives them a head start. Also, women are known to be more open about sexuality. It has always been so that people don't get very offended when they look at two girls holding each others' hands, or hugging each other, or even kissing each other on the cheeks etc. It's widely accepted that women are more "personal" and that being "touchy" with each other is not a big thing for them, so when two lesbians step up from kissing each other to making out, it is not as big a deal as it would be if it was two guys. Guys, by default, are "supposed" to be more macho, and display less amounts of affection for each other or their partners etc. It is not common sight for people to see two guys holding each others' hands, or hugging each other passionately, no matter how close they might be. Even the best of guy friends, in these times, hesitate in showing feelings or affections for their guy friends, and a lot of the times, just because if they do so, they might be perceived as feminine, and in a lot of the cases, gay/homosexual. That is why it is such a big deal when people see two guys' holding each others' hands and displaying affection for each other. It is merely because of the image that society has created for straight people and homosexuals, especially homosexual men. Although this is the general perception, this is not always the case. I know of many women who get "grossed out" by lesbians and because they almost fear that their girl friends may be gay, they prefer to hang out and be friends with men, especially gay men. In some cases, it is the same for guys, guys who prefer hanging out with women, especially gay women, because they fear that their guy friends may be gay. Although there are cases like that, I believe that it is definitely true that gay women are more accepted in society than gay men, and that is most likely for the reasons that I have written above. I mean, personally, I don't have any problems with gay men, but just like most other straight people, if it came down to hanging out with them, I would rather do so with gay women rather than gay men. It's just how society has taught most straight people to be, which I think is wrong. So I think that pretty much explains why gay women are more accepted in society than gay men – I don't think that it's fair to them, but I don't see it changing too soon, even with all the positive steps that are being taken.
In my opinion lesbians are more accepted than gay men because of the media. The media portrays lesbians as sexy and attractive. This allows them to be more accepted. I feel, however, that young, sexy lesbians are more accepted than “butch” lesbians. As a man, I know if I see two attractive girls making out then I have no problem. However if I see two manly women making out, I think it is not natural.
It is very sad that most Americans, including myself think lesbians are perfectly fine, but gay men are not. The United States is dominated by straight men, and straight men do not find gay men acceptable. It is strange to see two gay men holding hands or kissing in public. This is unfortunate but true. The media dictates what is acceptable and what is unacceptable, and in this day and age it is unacceptable for gay men to publicly display affection. I would even take it one step further and say that most people would find it unacceptable for lesbians to display affection publicly.
Our society has made great strides toward accepting lesbians and gays, however we are not finished making strides. I hope that in the future it will be perfectly acceptable for 2 men and 2 women to walk down the street holding hands. As this society moves to a more liberal one, it becomes more of a possibility. That being said, thee reality is that we are nowhere near a time where homosexuals can “flaunt their homosexuality” and it be completely normal.
The civil rights movement, which occurred in the 1960’s gave African Americans basic human rights. In our current day and age there is still a lot of racism toward African Americans. Even though we have an African American president, our society will never truly be equal toward minorities. With gay marriage being increasingly legalized, I think it is safe to say that we are witnessing the gay person’s “civil rights movement.” In the 1960’s South, African Americans were still being discriminated against. Even today, there is very much discrimination. I think that it will take a very long time for discrimination against gay people to considerably die down.
It is very unfortunate that we live in a world where minorities do not receive the same rights as a majority, but it is something that must be addressed. In every society, the minority is usually persecuted. This is a face that cannot be ignored. Humans like to belittle other humans, so when one group of humans is in power it is typical that they will persecute the group that is lower than them. Gay people can look forward to being more accepted as time passes, but I do not think that there will be a time when they are completely accepted.
I think a lot of people are interpreting this question wrong. I will not clarify because pretty much everyone who posted before me has covered that. Anyway, I have never really thought about this particular question before, but now that I do think about it, its very prevalent. And for the record, I am all for gay rights in every way!
In my opinion, there are many causes for this. The first one that comes to my mind is the fact that lesbian acts, like girls making out with each other, is considered “hot” in our society today. Just the other night, I was snowtubing with some friends and when it came time for us to leave, we all obviously had to put our tubes away. Someone had very kindly taken my tube to be put away for me, but did not take my friends. Since we were kind of far away from the tube-holding place, we tried to convince a drunken worker to take her tube for her, since he was going that direction anyway. After he attempted to make some advances, he finally said, “Why don’t you two just make out already?” Excuse me? I will stand by the fact that we had neither done nor said anything that would provoke him to make that request. Being a girl, I personally do not understand the attraction of two girls making out. But a total stranger wanted to watch two other girls kiss each other because somehow, in society that is “accepted,” for lack of a better word. Therefore, being a lesbian is not looked upon as being “gross” to the men in our society, whereas many of them may still be “creeped out” by gay men couples.
Another reason for this could be that there are certain men out there that find themselves so attractive that they are just TERRIFIED that a gay man will force himself upon them. I know a few people who are very, very homophobic. They claim that they are not homophobic, and that they are accepting. But at the same time, these people (who are all men) actually think that just because a man is gay that he is going to try to touch you, kiss you, have sex with you. It amazes me that they flatter themselves so much! They claim they do not mind being around a gay man, unless he “tries” something. Do you honestly think that will happen? Really? So with that said, I have spent time around many lesbians and I have been pretty confident that none will try to maul me. Why is it that men get the idea in their head that a gay man will try to rape him? I have never thought that about a lesbian before..and is that because I am comfortable with my straightness? That I may be more emotionally secure than these particular men? I am not quite sure of this answer, but I do think that is another reason that lesbians are more accepted than gay men. The men out there love lesbian acts, and are terrified of being raped by a gay man. That seems to sum it up. And as for women, I have only met a handful of women who are strongly against gay rights and it was all for religious purposes. I have met none religious men who have been against gay rights, probably just because they think every gay man out there is going to rape them. Sorry boys, you should not flatter yourselves so much!
I do agree with the fact that a lesbian couple is more accepted than a gay couple, but I don't think it is always the case. I don't think all lesbian couples are accepted by people, but a lesbian couple that is attractive is accepted. In a society dominated primarily by males, it's accepted to see a lesbian couple with two attractive girls because guys don't think it is a bad thing when two good looking girls are together. I don't think it is accepted to see a lesbian couple with two butch girls. I think overall our society doesn't really accept gays and lesbians and the only reason it seems like lesbians are accepted is because our society is dominated by males and men enjoy seeing two good looking women together.
The topic is why is it accepted for lesbians but not for gay males. I think it is a society type of solution females that choose to have relations with another female is accepted more because they used as a public interest. Movies have many scenes were two females are having a "make out session" for almost five minutes of the movie. So society is exposed to this particular side more than two guys kissing. People have made it more or less taboo for two men to kiss and made it less of a taboo but common to see two females making out, and "being gay together".
Television and movies have been opening the public's eye to different types of sexuality or gender preference over a number of years. Television show such as " The Real World" has cast men that are gay, bisexual, and I do not know about trans-gender. M.T.V. has been bringing this to the table for many years, and one of the first few seasons that cast a member who had aids and that was openly gay. Another television show that has open the public up to being gay, is "Degrassi". This television show has aired for many years and has brought up many issues about being gay and how it is sometimes more accepted for women to be lesbian than males to be gay. My favorite show "Will and Grace" two best friends working through life together. Will is gay and is open about it. Grace on the other hand is straight, and they live together as best friends trying to get through life.
Movies also bring issues to the table like "Broke Back Mountain" a movie about two cowboys living in the wilderness together and end up in love, I think. The one has a family and wants to keep his secret affair away from his family. Another movie that tried to portray being gay is "I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry" this movie brought the reality that gay marriage was not accepted. The character lost his wife and could not receive their benefits or the money from his wife's death. Then he decides to become a life partner to his friend in order to receive the money. This movie made me think more about same sex couples not been accepted as being a couple or having the right to become married.
In the end i think that acceptance of same sex couples is becoming more acceptable in today's society. Slowly but surely gay men are becoming accepted more into the public eye. Everything takes time when it deals with the acceptance of society; nothing is ever quickly changed when dealing with public views.
So do you feel that lesbians are accepted more freely by society as a couple or gay men? I agree that movies and television have been trying to bring homosexuality out of the "closet" since it is now such a prevalent thing in society, but they never display it as an accepted norm. I also agree that society is becoming for and more accepting towards the gay community but the question is who do you think they are more accepting towards and I feel that answer is lesbians. I feel this is because men are more accepting towards women showing affection for each other then they are about seeing men while women are more accepting of both lesbians and gay men.
part 3: There shouldn’t be any reason at all, but I really feel like the strongest reason is my first one. Females are born with a beauty; inner and outer. And them exploiting it with other women I guess makes people see twice the beauty? I don’t know, it’s just stupid in my opinion. The gay community doesn’t consist of escaped convicts from an insane asylum, yet there are people that will run in the opposite direction of them. It isn’t a disability or handicap; it’s just how they feel. And it makes people that are gay so afraid to come out of the closet. How can it possibly be a choice, it’s one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard of. No one would choose it for fear of being persecuted by all the homophobes in this country. And it’s not fair. Lesbians should not be more accepted than gay men, we are all the same, and this country is full of ignorant stubborn fools.
So the question that was asked was why lesbians are more accepted than gay men. My point of view is that guys are supposed to be tough and strong. To see guys who hold hands and pick out clothes that best fit themselves are very strange to watch. Also, sometimes gays talk with a higher pitch of voice and sway their hands around, it just doesn't fit right in society. Your body is made to reproduce with other women, not other men. That's the way nature goes and that's the way it should be done. Maybe some guys don't fit with other men or woman, so they just want to be different than everyone else. I think people just don't see other guys with each other as romantic partners.
Now for lesbians, I guess people could see other girls with each other. Plus, I think that some guys like when they are lesbians around them. To tell you the truth, I don't know why other men like girls mating out with each other. Women are better together than guys, I guess from peoples' perspective.
My opinion is that gays and lesbians shouldn't be acceptable to everybody. Look at our bodies we were made to reproduce with the other sex. There are people out in the world to be different, which I agree. People don't want to be the same with everything. The world would be boring and not interesting at all. But for some people they want to be notice so they'll say that they're gay are lesbians because they are different and unique from ordinary people. They want to be on TV for rights and to be allowed in the world. I don't think people are chosen to be gay or lesbians. People chose for themselves to be straight or curve. I heard people saying that they were born gay or lesbians and they have to live their life that way. People who change would say that they felt comfortable around with the same sex and not the opposite. Could you think that men have a better bond between each other than women of course. Men can talk to each other and do manly things like watching sports, golfing, eating food, and sleeping. With girls it's different you have to do things you both like and agree on. So no matter what, it will feel different being around girls than guys. I just can't see guys holding hands with each other and making out. It's the same with women, I can't see them making out with each other. I think different is good, but not to change your sex partner is completely a whole different story. We just weren't made to be with the same sex as romantic partners.
First off, I want to say that I don’t think that either gays or lesbians are truly accepted by much of society. But it’s definitely true that lesbians are the more accepted of the two. I believe that are many reasons that lesbians are accepted more, and many reasons why gay men are not as accepted in today’s society.
Lesbians are considered by many people to be okay and in a lot of circumstances welcomed with open arms. The main reason I think is that when women express their love towards their friends, it’s considered normal. For example, if two girls who are friends hug each other, no one would be offended and no one would question their sexuality. It’s just a normal thing for them to do. So if a lesbian couple was out together in a public space holding hands or hugging each other, no one would notice and probably most people would never even consider that they might be lesbians. You can even take it one step further by saying that lesbian experimentation is considered okay by many people. It has become pretty commonplace for women, especially college age girls to experiment with other girls. Most people just view it as just an experience that many people have growing up. Another reason for their acceptance is that the majority of men, and probably even some women, are turned on by lesbian sex. All one has to do is look up what percentage of porn is lesbian in nature and they will surely find that it is a high percentage. For some reason, it has become okay for lesbian sex to take place, in fact it is pretty much encouraged because it sells. So when men think of lesbians, there thinking of the hot girls that are shown in porn videos, which will lead them to embrace it.
As for gay men, I don’t feel like they will be truly accepted by society for a long time. Being gay goes against society’s engrained ideas of masculinity. When these concepts are broken it causes people to become outraged because it is just so different. Men are supposed to be tough guys who don’t show anyone their emotions. Their main goals in life should be to watch football, drink beer, and most importantly, get with as many hot girls as they can. This is the idea of manliness that most men and women probably have. So when people see two guys hooking up with each other they are repulsed on a lot of different levels. Also, it is just visually jarring to see two guys showing any type of affection towards each other in public. When was the last time you saw to straight guys holding hands? Probably never.
Basically, we have created societal rules that are different for men and women. Homosexuality can sort of fit into the rules for girls, but definitely not for men.
Although I do not necessarily believe it is right, I do agree that society seems to be more accepting of lesbian couples. I personally would like to believe that I see both lesbians and gay men as equal and think that all same sex couples should have the same rights. However, to answer the question as to why this may be, I think it all comes back to the personalities of women versus men from day one.
Obviously all men and women are different, but from the beginning many perceive women to be the ones who share stories and become friends on a more “intimate” level I guess you could say. It is common for straight women to hug when they say hello and goodbye to one another, often times they lay in bed together and watch movies or have a girls night, etc. It is not rare for female friends to say I love you to one another. However if a straight man makes a comment to another man such as “I love you” or something, many will through in the “no homo” line afterward. I think this is a clear example that most of society is more accepting of two women rather than two men. Men feel the need to through in the “no homo” so that others do not view them as gay. Likewise, men usually shake hands when they meet one another so this type of view is set up for many to believe that men should not have any level of intimacy with one another, even as friends. Similarly if you see five guys lying in a bed together you think something completely different of it than you would if you saw five females together. I think it is all an instinct that we have our minds set to think.
I also think lesbians are more accepted because as always, the media has an effect on it. There are people such as Ellen DeGeneres and Rosie O’Donnell who are lesbians and they are confident in themselves and what they do. I think this gives lesbians more of a support system and someone to stand behind and look up to. I’m not saying there are no gay males being portrayed in the media but I think having people such as Ellen who is well known and loved by many makes others appear as more accepting to lesbians.
Also, I think it comes down to sexual reasons. In general I would say straight men are accepting of lesbians because some find two women doing sexual things to be attractive. However, most straight men probably don’t find two males attractive. I think women are probably more willing to accept both gay males and females and therefore in the end lesbians seem to be the more accepted of the two.
I thought that this was a really great question. It really is true that lesbians are looked upon in a different light than gay men in our society, despite the fact that there is no greater difference between the two than there is between any man and woman. Why is it that lesbians are often viewed in a way that could even be considered positive, whereas there is more of a stigma associated with gay men? I, like many of those that posted before me, think that one of the main reasons for this double standard can be tied into the porn industry. Maybe not even the porn industry itself, but into the difference in sexual desires between men and women. Straight women that view pornography will almost undoubtedly be viewing straight, male/female material. While logic would indicate that the same would be true of straight men, this is not necessarily the case. Many men are aroused by the idea of two women being together sexually, and thus there is a considerable market for lesbian porn in the straight male demographic. The inverse of this situation does not seem to be the same. While straight men often find homosexual women attractive, most straight women are not aroused by gay men. So, while there is a large market for male/female and female/female pornographic materials, there is not nearly as large of a market for male/male materials because the gay male demographic is the only population to which such materials are appealing. Thus, a double standard exists because of the differences in sexual tastes between men and women.
Another reason for the existence of such a double standard is the balance of power in our society and who controls the majority of public opinion. In relevance to this issue, we can break down the population into four major categories: straight men, straight women, homosexual men, and homosexual women. Most people would probably agree with the notion that of these four groups, straight males have the greatest influence in our society. Additionally, of the four groups, one could make the assumption that straight males are also the least sympathetic towards the gay community. Although logic would indicate that straight men are no less sympathetic than straight women since they have a shared sexuality, women tend to be more understanding and emotionally cognizant of other people. Although they are not of the same sexual orientation, straight women are much more likely to be sympathetic towards homosexuals and are less likely to find their lifestyle “disturbing”. But since straight men have the majority of the influence in society, and they are much more likely to find gay men disturbing than gay women, it seems understandable that lesbians often do not catch as much heat as gay men do. It certainly doesn’t make it acceptable, but that could be an explanation of the mystery behind this double standard. Whatever the reasons, the existence of this double standard is really unfair and should be investigated more so that we can try to determine what the causes are and how to repair it.
My opinion on this question is that women lesbian couples will always be more accepted than gay couples amongst society for several reasons. However the main reason why I think this is so is because women are not only stigmatized but also socialized to be more caring, intimate, and passionate people. Therefore when woman show their affection towards another woman it also seems as though its just "girls being girls". Because even straight when show their affection for each other by linking arms, sleeping together on the same bed, and some even give small kisses to each other on the lips and this is seen as normal or ok to do. So if these acts are accepted among straight woman then it will definitely be accepted amongst an actual couple.
I think lesbians are more accepted then gay men because we have been conditioned to think so as a society. From the time we were born we learned from movies, television shows, books, our friends, our parents, our relatives, and just the strangers talking besides us that lesbians are hot and gay men are unnatural. It is hard to change something that is so jammed into a culture. Also I think the factor that men have such a strong sexual drive, they want everything sexual without giving up their manliness, which is also part of our culture. Two women is sexual while two men is disturbing.
This is a question I myself have many times thought about. In general, I have found that women are much more accepting of other people than men are. Having said this, I think the reason why lesbians are more accepted than gay men is because to guys, lesbians are a sexual turn on, whereas gay men are not. Most women I have talked to about this issue have no problems with lesbians or gay men, and many have a friend who is a gay man. On the other hand, I have found that for the most part, men are not comfortable with the thought of two men together, but love the thought of two women together. I have also heard in many cases that people view two girls who are a couple more as best friends than actually a couple.
This is definitely something that I've experienced as well. It just always seems that lesbians are more socially acceptable than gay men. I mean look at the popular media, women touching each other and showing affection for each other are everywhere. However, you almost never see ads or posters with two men doing the same thing. Honestly, I think we, our generation at least, has been socialized to believe that lesbians are okay, but gay men are taboo.
As early as my teenage years, I was exposed to girls experimenting with each other. I remember that many girls would kiss each other in front of guys. Although I think it was more for attention than out of desire, the boys' reactions showed that it was okay to do this. In addition, other girls didn't react too much if they saw girls do this. If anything, we thought they were being annoying because they were craving attention, but no one was repulsed. However, if these were boys, I don't think that girls would "like" it, and boys would freak out. I'm not totally sure why this is, but like I said, I think it has something to do with socialization.
I wonder if from an early age that boys did this if people would react how they do with girls? Maybe since girls are already affectionate, please don't see it as weird. I mean, I honestly think that if boys did that people would still act as they do now, shocked.
Or maybe it has something to do with experience? This summer, my guy best friend came out to all of us. Before he came out, I really didn't know anyone that was gay, or at least they weren't close to me. Because I didn't know anyone, and since it was so foreign to me, I used to not be very accepting of gay men. I think that I just didn't understand. Now that I have experience with a gay man, I feel much more accepting. Sure it will still be weird to see Mike kissing a guy, but I think once I see it a few times it will become completely normal to me. Just having him in my life has opened my eyes so much, and I'm so grateful for that. So I guess this goes back to what I've been saying the whole time, once you see something, and become socialized to it, it's no longer abnormal or weird.
In my opinion, I think that everyone should be able to live the life that they want to live. As long as people are happy, who are you to judge? I think that the absolutely worst thing is to live a life that you don't want to be living, and I would hate for prejudice to do this to people. I think that most people are becoming less prejudice, and with this, gays, both men and women, are becoming much more accepted. Hopefully the people that live those lives are seeing those changes as well.
I honestly believe that this isn't exactly the case. I think that a lot of men are going to be less accepting of gay men because they are more masculine and don't like the way some gay men act; but woman also feel the same way about lesbians. Personally, I don't feel this way about gay people at all, I am completely accepting of them, and always have been. For a while, when I was younger, I liked the idea of gay men more than gay woman, because I couldn't relate to the gay woman at all. I at least had the same attraction for men, as do gay men. This gave us something in common. But now that I am mature and understand that we are all people and it doesn't matter who we are attracted to, it truly doesn't matter whether you are a gay woman or man.
I believe that people are raised with the hatred toward homosexuals, and it is completely absurd. I understand if you are religious, and you don't like the idea of people going against your religious beliefs, but if you aren't a devout religious person, then it really shouldn't matter. People should be accepting of everyone in the world. Obviously this isn't the case, and probably won't be.
First, I like this question and it is an interesting topic. I also think that lesbians are more accepted than gay men. There are different reasons why I think this is true. First, some gay men act differently within the stereotypes of the way they dress, talk, and sometimes even walk. Lesbians don’t act much differently in public and it is tough to pick them out of a crowd of women. The next reason lesbians are more accepted is because if you go anywhere you sometimes see girls hugging and kissing and sometimes walking arm in arm down the road. This is normal to see and people don’t think anything of it. If two guys walked down the street holding hands or walking with their arms locked, people automatically think they are gay. Also, they think the same when guys kiss. If you go to a party here on the weekends, you usually run into two girls making out and doing whatever. I know most of this occurs because of the alcohol involved, but guys are all for it and many girls have done it. Now I know for a fact if this ever happened between two guys, the whole party would freak out. It is not normal to see two guys making out at a party unless you are at a gay bar.
As I was reading some of the previous comments to this question, I saw something about how men are more comfortable talking about lesbians rather than gay men. I completely agree with this idea and think that it is very true. If I walk down the street and see two lesbians holding hands, I would feel no different than I normally do if I see two straight girls walking down the street. If I saw two gay guys holding hands, I would feel a little different. I have no problem with gay people, I think if that’s who they want to be and they found someone for themselves, all the power to them. Everyone has their own feelings and each want to do their own thing. I also agree with the part where people say that some guys get turned on by lesbians. As I said before, if you see two girls making out at a party, all the guys are cheering and rooting it on. Finally, in class Sam brought up the porn topic and how you always see lesbian porn on website and you never see gay porn. This goes back to how seeing two girls doing their thing is a lot more comfortable to see than two guys. Everyone has their own perspectives on the topic of gay guys and lesbian women and there will never be one direct answer why one is more accepted than the other.
I think that lesbian women are more accepting that gay men mainly because I think that most people are not comfortable seeing men holding hands and kissing or showing pubic affection. I think women are accepted because they are already accepted as feminine so we already see them a certain way and just accept the fact when they are with other women. In some cases it turns men on. I have this theory that all women love other women. You rarely hear about men just having sex or kissing just to see what it’s like when women do it rather often. I think it’s sexy when you see two women kissing or having sex and when men do it its just flat out disgusting. I think it goes both ways when you say that when two girls are together men and mostly women accept it and when you see two men together it is just not the same.
The only way I lesbian women and gay men on the same level is when the two are mature enough to want to get married and possible adopt kids and raise a family. They are beyond the sexual stage and proving to be gay and proud of being gay. They just want to be with their partner and move on. I think that is the only way that they are accepted at the same level and lesbian women are not more accepted that gay men. I would have to say that we are continuing to move forward and being gay and lesbian is becoming more accepted and I think eventually it will not matter whether you are a lesbian woman or gay man. They will both be accepted the same.
Lastly, I think that the media and television plays a huge role in this as well. Ellen Degeneris is a lesbian and is a very successful talk show host and a lot of people love her even though she is a lesbian. However, there are gay men on television and I know of people who will not watch the show because of it. I think that when you see a lesbian woman you see a sensitive woman who is caring and things like that but when you see a gay man most of us think sick thought and use derogatory terms and I just do not think this is right. If we all just worried about ourselves we would have no problems. My mom always says everybody to their own cup of tea. Which means we should stay out of others business and just let them live their lives. But I think that gay men becoming accepted is growing but we just accept women more right now because they just appear more sensitive and caring and more mature about it.
Sarah Doe once said, "I'll kiss two girls with one guy if I'm elected president." … Sarah Doe was the Class President at my high school, and although this was a joke amongst a few friends, it sparked discussion amongst us. Sarah said that she would actually do that if the oppurtunity presented itself (not for her to get elected). So, I asked if that made her bi-sexual and she was quick to say no. But, I'm not sure. I still try to think about it today and figure out what it really means to be gay/lesbian.
I don't understand why people just kind of laughed when Sarah Doe said that in high school. Granted, it was mostly just close friends however it still seems unusual. I think this is another example of lesbian acts, or the idea of two women in someway having sex or romance, and how lesbian acts are more accepted among society. Although it may be a subconscious decision by society to, for some reason, accept two women more than two men, it still seems wrong.
I want to just talk about what sam was saying about how lesbians are women looking for "manly" women and Gay men are often looking for more "feminine" men. I can only begin to wrap my mind around this issue. I don't know how to explain it and I'm not sure if you can, but it is just an interesting point worth thinking about. Why do we think in the way that we do? why are we attracted to a certain sex, or both sexes? What makes every person excited? and is it the same in some people? or is it different in everyone? I know these are all just questions, but I think questions can say a lot more. Hopefully, one day whatever people want to do will be accepted, and LGBT people will not have to deal with ridicule and all of these topics surrounding their lives and beliefs.
In the end, my opinion is that men have more of a personna surrounding their sex. Men need to be MEN. That is the idea of many men across the world. It is sad that the world has to be this way, and I would say that things seem to be changing for the better these days in terms of people being more accepting of others. However, this shouldn't be an issue that society has to deal with from the start. Men and women all usually seem to want equality, so I think this is another situation where things are unequal between men and women and need to be changed. I think that it would a help for everyone on both sex teams.
As soon as a pregnant a woman finds out the sex of her baby, we define the baby’s gender even before the baby is born. We paint rooms pink for girls and blue for boys. From the moment of birth, our American society defines the acceptable male and female characteristics of a newborn. We immediately wrap a baby boy in blue and a baby girl in pink. I learned about an interesting study in my psychology class that pertains to this topic. New parents were given a baby that was wrapped in a pink blanket. All the parents described the baby as “cute, precious, and gentle” without even knowing the sex of the baby. Then they gave another set of parents a baby wrapped in a blue blanket. Essentially, the same thing happened with the parents describing the baby as “strong and handsome” without even knowing the sex of the newborn. As we allow our children to grow and be “themselves”, we give a male toddler a truck and a female toddler dolls. We continue to dress them “gender” appropriate until about age five when most children want to explore their world in their own ways. If a female pre-schooler starts to learn how to play sports, we don’t think twice about this decision. However, if a male pre-schooler is interested in dance classes we may raise an eyebrow. What if this young little boy decides to also listen to Britney Spears or maybe play dress-up too? Now, more than an eyebrow is raised. People start to talk about how “different” the boy is from others young boys. As the young girl starts to become better at sports she is also talked about; however, she is described as athletic and at the very worst a “tom-boy”. What we have to realize is that the way we raise our children, even before they decide their sexual preference (lesbian, gay or bisexual) is wrong. We allow society to approve of our female child’s gender preferences rather than male gender preferences. I think this is a huge issue within our society. We really don’t allow children to choose for themselves who they want to be. When they do chose what feels best for them, if it isn’t “socially” accepted we reject their beliefs and essentially their identity. It is not fair that we allow women to adopt female and male characteristics, yet scorn males when they are not portraying a masculine image. I like to imagine an alternate world for this scenario. If we didn’t dictate gender differences from birth, there wouldn’t even be labels such as a “feminine gay” or a “butch lesbian”. Gender would be more fluid and accepted as an individuality statement rather than an abnormality arising from society structured thought of femininity and masculinity.
I wish I had an answer for this. Especially because I feel this way about gays and lesbians. I 100% support a person's decision to be gay. At least I think I do. And it's not really a decision, it's the person; it is beyond their control. It's something people can't change about them, and people shouldn't have to. Unfortunately, I feel uncomfortable seeing their affection in public, gay men that is. And I’m not the only one. I suppose just because it's not an everyday thing. And in American society, it's extremely frowned upon.
The media is such a big deal in our society. Everyone wants to look like/be like/act like those celebrities on the cover of magazines. How often do we see a gay couple on a TV ad? I can’t say I’ve ever seen one. Without saying it’s wrong, the media implies that it’s wrong by not promoting it as a normal thing. In pornography magazines, dvds, etc., we see a lot of girl on girl action. This may make lesbians a little less frowned upon in America.
Also being a girl, I can understand why most people are more accepting of lesbians than gay men. Girls naturally show a lot of affection. We're emotional people. I walk around with my best friends all the time, naturally “flirting” with each other. But there’s no sexual feelings behind our public displays of affection. Seeing two girls holding hands doesn't necessarily mean they're gay; if they are, it's cute because they share their affection together, they have an even closer bond than straight girl friends. Guys, however, are supposed to be manly and tough. Even with a straight couple, a guy may be mocked and considered whipped if he shows a lot of affection. So seeing two guys together is even more inappropriate. Plus a majority of gay men are very feminine. This totally strays from the manly and tough attitude.
I think this is more of a big deal in the United States than the rest of the world. Two men from Europe, straight men, came to America and made out to show us how uptight and ridiculous we are about the matter. I think that's really respectable, and brave.
People get so worked up about their sexuality, and trying to fit their social norm. If this means scaring people away from what they really want, then it just makes the U.S. look bad. How much does gender matter anyway, it's what's inside that counts, right? So we see two hands linked, I wish that was all we could see. Unfortunately our eyes immediately gaze towards the faces, the other body parts. And we're quick to approve or disapprove. I hate this about myself, I wish I could look past everything and just see the love. I'm going to try, I hope others do as well.
How could you not after hearing Sam's lecture?
I think this is definitely an interesting question. I mean there is such a focus on female on female sexuality that it is almost hard not to accept. I think a lot of this had to do with advertising. I mean let's be honest sex sells and the female body is one of the biggest ad sellers out there. Most men are probably very arouse by the idea of two women being together so I genuinely think that many advertisers play off of this fantasy to sell ads. Beer ads love this! I mean "twins" for Budweiser or whatever I'm sure sold quite a few beers off the shelves.
It's all about playing off of people's desires and fantasies in order to boost sales. It's sad, but true and unfortunately it leads to an unfair view of lesbians versus gay men. However, I wonder if people tend to be more accepting of lesbian relationships involving more feminine women versus those of more butch females. I have a bad feeling that people only accept what they know and there needs to be a change and people need to be more education so as not to pass as much judgment. Maybe a way of fixing this would be to have more "gay friendly" advertisements then maybe one day there can be more acceptance.
I think there are a lot of stereotypes that gay men must overcome so that they are more accepted by society. I don’t understand it, either. But I do notice it. I myself see both gay women and men as equals of heterosexual women and men. I understand the idea that guys are turned on by lesbians and completely freaked out by gay men, but why? I feel like that has just been instilled in guys’ minds that they cannot be attracted to other men but girls can be attracted to other girls because that’s “cool.” Then again I think girls would be more so turned on by lesbians than gay men, which could lead to why lesbian couples are more accepted.
I personally believe that whether you are a lesbian woman, or a gay man, you are going to have a tough time in this society. It would be interesting to hear the point of views coming from both sides (lesbian women and gay men) on whether they feel that the other is more excepted in the society or not.
Both sides are dealing with the same issues of people looking at them and making comments if they are both walking down the street holding hands, with their arms around each other, or kissing. Both sides also have to deal with the people who are totally against it and make rude comments. And both lesbian women and gay men have to go through the issues of same sex marriages and adoptions.
However, I can think of a few reasons to why our society would accept being a lesbian woman more than being a gay man. For some reason, girls kissing other girls is encouraged by a lot of men and they think that it is really hot and a turn on. But a lot of times, those girls kissing other girls drunk at parties are actually straight or may be bi sexual. But either way, it means that the girls would be into the guy too and the guy can imagine having a three way (ha sorry that this is turning out like this). But I guess what makes me confused is..if two lesbians are kissing, and they are definitely lesbians, I don’t see how a guy would get excited about that because they are into each other and not men so they wouldn’t be into having a three some with him. But I guess men can still hope that they would be into them.
Another side of it is, in our society it is ok for girls to talk to other girls and make comments like “oh my god you look so hot tonight!” And that would acceptable. But do you ever hear of guys making a similar comment to each other? No you don’t. And I believe this comes from the fear that people (or the person they are talking to) may think they are gay. Where a girl could say a comment to her friend about how hot she looks, and not care if people think that she comes across as being a lesbian. Even at dancing clubs, straight girls have no problem dancing closely with each other, but straight guys would never be caught dead grinding with each other. So I guess this goes back to the original question, how did society get like this?
I guess to go back to the girls question. Why are lesbians more accepted in our society than gays? I truly do not know the real reason but I can only guess that it has to do with that fantasy of 2 girls and a guy.
The main reason I think lesbians are more accepted than gay men is because many straight men feel it is "hot" to encourage girl on girl action. I find this rather humorous. I also think lesbians are more accepted because women are see as "nurturing." It may not be weird for a woman to express love to anyone she may want because women are supposed to be caring and loving. Women who often engage in same-sex relationship are sometimes viewed as "experimenting." Girl on girl experimentation is more common than male on male experimentation so sometimes we just blow it off. Also girls are more often than guys the ones in college who want to experiment with their sexuality.
The tendency for society to be more accepting of lesbians as opposed to gay men most likely stems from an analysis of overall character traits for both males and females , and how far from these “normals” specific gay groups fall. In this sense, females are viewed as being more sexually experimental and more likely to have close, physical relationships with other females. Action-wise, lesbians are not far from highly affectionate friends, and thus do not appear as out of place as gay men do. On the male side of this, gay males often portray characteristics that are 180 degrees from what a “normal” male would be expected to have. Since male to male friendships are rarely physical in the same sense as female friendships, it is less natural and therefore more out of the norm to see two males being especially affectionate. Whereas this is probably the most sophisticated and nonjudgmental answer, there certainly are other interesting hypotheses to consider.
I can almost guarantee that anyone who has ventured to any handful of parties in their lifetime has seen two girls get drunk and make out (at least smooch a little) once or twice or maybe even more. To be honest, it really is not a rare site to see and further illustrates the type of relationship women tend to have, and thus why lesbians may not be that far out of the norm. I cannot however say that I have ever seen two males act in this manner under the same circumstances and thus would assert that the same activity is not as common for male friends. One reason for this is that women just look better. The feminine figure is such a highly praised body when compared to the male figure. Beauty trumps handsomeness on any day. Not to say that men can’t be thought of as beautiful, but the term undoubtedly is more associated with women. It only makes sense that intimacy involving two things of beauty and femininity would be more accepted than the same intimacy between handsomeness and masculinity.
Another reason for the more pronounced acceptance of lesbians than gay men is hormones. Testosterone, the male sex hormone, has trademark characteristics such as aggression and dominance. It is not uncommon for gay males to counter this by using estrogen supplements, therefore establishing a more feministic male. Although this is not always the case, I think my point is still clear that gay males do not exhibit the typical, biologically expected habits. As I read what I have written so far, it seems pretty clear that everything boils down to “the norm” and what people are/are not comfortable with seeing. The standard view of the male figure simply does not comply with the standard gay male figure, thus causing society to have increased resistance to their existence.
I think that lesbians are definitely more accepted by society than gay men are. When you think about it, how many times have you seen two girls walking down the street hand-in-hand and though that they were gay. Odds are not too many because it is such a common occurrence that it mostly goes unnoticed. However if a person was to see two men walking down the street like that, the general assumption would be made that they are gay. I think it's also considered relative fact that man men are turned on by lesbians, and men are usually more open about sex and the things that they like pertaining to sex, which really makes a big difference in acceptance of it.
I think it is a much easier step from friendship to something more for women. Women historically have always had closer more intimate friendships than men. It is not uncommon to see women holding hands or kissing each other on the cheek or having sleepovers. I think because of this and the way girls are raised it is not a far leap then to see them kiss on the mouth and that is why it seems more acceptable than two men doing the same thing. It is just the type of same sex relationships we form from infancy and those are very different for men and women.
I think this has a lot to do with societies image of masculinity. Its not uncommon to see two women walking together holding hands or linking arms. But the first thing that comes to your mind if two men were to do the same things is that they are gay. I think there is this stigma, that many men must appear to be homophobic whether they actually are or not. The media in the most party portrays gay men are very feminine and their straight male counter-part on the same show as extremely masculine. And i think for the most part women are portrayed differently.
The question of why lesbians are more acceptable in society than gay men is an interesting one. I do think the person asking the question is right when she says this statement. I think most people and almost all straight guys are more accepting of lesbians than gay men. I believe there are numerous reasons why this is true. In the following paragraphs I will address how I feel on the subject and why I think that lesbians are more accepted.
Personally, I find myself more accepting to lesbians than gay men. However, I have come a long way in my acceptance to gay men. I believe just like with races there is ignorance involved when talking about becoming acceptable. Personally I came from a very non diverse school and was not around anyone with a different race or sexuality. Thus, I was never able to see how people are who do not look the same as I do. Coming to Penn State it took time for me to finally become comfortable. Today many of my close friends are Asian or black. I now realize that there are no differences between people of skin color; it is the inside of the person that counts not appearance. The fact is that I never knew that was true until I met people that were different than me. This is the same as trying a new food, at first you may not want to try it but until you do you do not know if you like it or not. However, with gay people and lesbians the appearances are the same, but what is different is the makeup of the individual. I am still unsure if people are born gay or if it is their choice. In a way I believe it is both their choice and how they are genetically made up.
I think lesbians are more accepted in society because society is still male dominated. Men enjoy women thus they do not have a problem with two women showing affection. However, men feel disgusted when they see two men kissing. The other day the collegian had two men kissing on the front page, I was shocked and disgusted and looked away. Maybe I am disgusted because I am not used to seeing that happen. Or maybe I am disgusted because it should not be happening. I do not believe the public is ready to see those kind of actions in public. Even with straight men and women those actions are not appreciated in public. Some things are meant to stay in the bedroom. In closing, I believe that lesbians will always be more accepted than gay men. Lesbians are viewed as sexy by the public, and gay men are not.
I think that the reason why lesbians are more accepted than guys is because girls are naturally more affectionate and physical people. It wouldn’t be unusual for two girls to be walking with their arms around each other or hugging each other, but if two guys were doing that people would probably think that they were gay. Also, guys think that it is “hot” for girls to make out, and girls will sometimes make out with each other even though they are not lesbians. I have made out with girls before and I am not a lesbian, they were close friends of mine and we were drunk and talked into it by guys. I don’t feel attracted to them, it isn’t awkward and no one thinks that we are lesbians because of it. However, if guys were to make out they would definitely be considered gay and girls don’t think its “hot” when guys are making out.
I think lesbians are more accept by people because lesbians are HOT!!! Lesbians are sexy and is every straight guys fancy to be sexually active with a lesbian couple haha. But on a more serious note I think lesbians are more accepting because it is very hard sometimes to tell if a girl is a lesbian or not, especially if she is not butch. Then she would look like just a "regular" girl. With gay guys it is different because in society a guy is look at to be manly, masculine and macho, so if a guy comes off too feminine he is look at as gay, and what I heard some people say "a waste of some good meat". I think with gay males people fine it harder to understand why a guy would want to be with another guy.
I also think that sometimes gay men express themselves (like the way they talk and dress) is too much for people to handle.
On the other hand, sometimes I think that gay men are more accepted than lesbians by other women (straight women). I have notice that straight women find it very easy and comforting to become friends with gay men. Matter of fact I think some women are in love with gay men, I sometimes find that relationship very weird but cool sometimes.
And vice versa, I think that straight guys find it very easy to be friends with lesbians, especially butch lesbians. Some guys like to play basketball them, drink with them, find girls with them, talk about sex with them, and go to butch lesbians for advice with their girlfriends problems. So maybe it's equally accepting between the sexes. Because there is those straight guys who thinks that lesbians are stealing all the girls from them, which I find hilarious. Then there are straight girls who think that gay men are nasty and disgusting.
Between older generations vs. our younger generation now, I think those older generations no matter what find it very hard to accept homosexuality period, because in their day it was secretive and rarely talked about. I know when I talked to my grandmother about homosexuality she was very uncomfortable. But nowadays young people are becoming more open with their sexuality and more accepting of homosexuality. From my experience I have noticed that people now have basically became supportive of homosexuality because they have friends and family members who have came out of the closet, so they felt the need to be there for them and not walk out of their life. In general, I think people no matter what would be accepting to lesbians and gay men for their own personal reason or not be accepting. I think it have a lot to do with how a person was raised and/or their own personal beliefs and morals.
I think lesbians are more accepted in society than gay men because American society has been programmed that way for many years now. It has also been seen that women are more affectionate, loving, caring, whatever you want to call it while men are macho and tough. At a young age, boys and girls are taught a variety of gender roles. Girls play will dolls in pink, lacy dresses and boys play with trucks and blocks. These ideas that girls have to be submissive and meek in comparison with their male counterparts are put into children’s heads at a very young age. People tend to grow up with these ideas still in their heads. This makes it less of a weird or abnormal thing for girls to be affectionate towards one another. This, in turn, makes people less likely to turn their head or make a huge deal out of two women being loving with one another. On the other hand, males have always been taught to be hard and not to show emotion. That way of thinking, in turn makes people much more likely to stare or be taken aback by two men holding hands or affectionately hugging and especially kissing. This way of thinking can also be traced back to the way media portrays both men and women. Until recently, it was unheard of to have a gay man or lesbian be a lead character in a show. People are often apprehensive when it comes to any gay character in media. Gay men and women have been coming out publicly much more recently but rarely do you hear of a gay male athlete. It is because of the way sports have been portrayed in America that a gay man probably would not feel comfortable coming out. For some reason, people seem to think that every woman who plays a basketball or softball is automatically a lesbian. There does not seem to be uproar when a female athlete comes out because it seems to be almost imminent. Women who play sports are in turn manly while men who like to sing show tunes are feminine. I can not explain why this happens but it just seems to be true. People just seem to have an adverse response to a man who is gay because they automatically assume that gay means feminine or “sissy”. Sure, this may be true of some gay man but there are plenty of others who are just as masculine as the next straight man. I think the media and the way children are taught about gender roles really affects how lesbians and gay men are seen. There should not be a different response to either gay or lesbian just because people have grown up in an environment that teaches such strict gender roles. a
I think that most definitely, lesbians are more acceptable in society than gay men. I think the main reason for this is because of how men and women are portrayed within society; specifically within the media. The media, as we know it deals with exuding information and influences people by the mass by the use of television, newspapers, magazines, radio, and internet.
In television, especially in reality shows, women are portrayed as promiscuous and it is the norm for women to be somewhat sexual with each other. It is normal for women to express their love to other women and it is normal for women to say “I love you” to other women. Also in television, when it comes to reality shows, women kiss each other all the time.
In magazines like Cosmopolitan, heterosexual men have expressed many times in columns that their ultimate fantasy is a threesome consisting of them and two other females.
In radio, popular songs such as Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” tells the story of how she kissed a girl and she liked it and she also liked the taste of her cherry chap stick; she kissed a girl just to try it and she hopes he boyfriend doesn’t mind it. Songs like these are catchy, and have heavy rotation in the airwaves.
Looking at this situation from an AD/PR (advertisement and public relation) aspect, many advertisements display girl on girl action to sell their product; it could be anything from an alcoholic beverage to a flyer for a club or an event. Many people of advertising use this technique to sell and the sad thing is that it works, it seems like people like to see girl on girl action and prefer to see girl on girl instances instead of male on male.
Being in college, I have been in plenty of instances where I was at a party and girls would make out with each other just because they thought it was cool and that’s what they thought that they should do in order get attention in the quickest way possible.
It isn’t the same way for men though. Although gay men should be looked at as just the same as any heterosexual couple or a lesbian couple, they aren’t and I think that is because it isn’t broadcasted as much as lesbianism is. Gay men have been told for the longest to keep their gayness a secret; for example the law of don’t ask, don’t tell when it came to the military. Whenever something gay did come to surface in society and in the media, the majority of people felt offended and the situation became a controversy and many would speculate about it for example, the movie Brokeback Mountain.
Basically what I am trying to say is that all of this display of women to women contact within the media desensitizes people to lesbianism, and with that, they see lesbians as normal or not a big deal in contrast to gay men.
In my honest opinion I think that male to male sexual relationships are looked down upon because they are males. In this society we look to makes as protectors, hunters, gatherers, providers, they are the alpha male. By them engaging in male to male relationships, it causes society to look at them in disappointment. It also gives society a chance to challenge their masculinity. Female to female relationships are more accepted because they are girls. They aren’t looked at as being strong providers and protectors. Not saying that they shouldn’t be, but that’s just how society looks at it. Besides male on male relationships are less accepted because who wants to see two males kissing and feeling on each other? Society sees two women making out and feeling on each other as being “hot” and “sexy”, but when two men do it its just plain gross. Female to female relations are more commonly accepted because as females out feminist cannot be challenged. Becoming a lesbian or bisexual does not make females any less than a woman, however for males it makes you less than a man if you engage in relations with another male. Another reason why I think male on male relations are less accepted then female on female relationships is because it’s ok for a female to be unstable and unsure of their sexuality, they have the right to experiment and figure things out and won’t be judged on it, in fact most people encourage it. Whereas if a males was to experiment, it’s a sign of weakness and unstableness, and those are female traits. I believe that male on male and female on female relationships should be held to the same statute. No one relationship should be held higher than the other. Society has come a long way from not accepting it at all now their holding one relationship higher than the other when they should be held to the same statute. Either way any same sex relationship is wrong in the eyes of god. If a male on male relationships and a female on female relationship were both standing before god, he wouldn’t allow the females all access to heaven and send the men to hell. My point is that male on male relationships shouldn’t be looked down on just because their males, they are still very masculine providers who just so happen to have boyfriends. Their sexuality should not challenge their ability to provide and protect. I think the main reason why males on male relationships are looked down upon whereas female on female relationships aren’t, is because there is a higher risk of catching sexual transmitted diseases such as AIDS/HIV. Although AIDS/HIV is contracted through very numerous ways, people often look to the gay men as the main cause and spread of the disease.
Maybe I'm being really narrow minded about this, but I seriously believe that the higher, more widespread acceptance of lesbians versus gay men can be attributed greatly, if not totally, to female sexuality.
In my Psychology of Gender class (PSYCH 231,) we talk about the sexualization and objectification of women quite often. Women are often looked upon by the "dominant group-" heterosexual males ("White," specifically, is also in that category, but it seems less relevant in this case,) as sexual objects, existing solely for their use and/or pleasure in a sexual context. The female body is looked upon as sensuous and aesthetically pleasing. As a result, the idea of that times two, (or three or four if you want to get really naughty ;] ,) is considered a major turn-on for that dominant group. Basically what I'm trying to say is that lesbianism is probably more widely accepted just because a lot of people think its hot.
And what happens when the dominant group approves…..? Wide-spread acceptance. Often times, that ideology will trickle down and win over some of the those in the non-dominant group, too. Which leads to…… further wide-spread acceptance.
Prior to this class I had what I thought to be an “open mind” regarding homosexuality. I accept homosexuals as equals even though I do not fully understand homosexuality. I am in the military and I support homosexuals in the military. I am all for gay marriage. But I never understood why homosexuals are homosexuals. Honestly, I thought it was a choice. Sam’s class opened my eyes to a lot of things I never knew or understood.
Our American society is a society that claims freedom, but there are still a lot of restraints on those groups of people that are not part of the social norm. This is something that our nation experienced not too long ago during the civil rights movement. I truly believe that gay marriage and rights are our generation’s civil rights movement. When you look closely at the two, you realize that they are very similar. Both movements were about oppressed Americans that wanted to be equal in society. Probably years from now our society will be much different in terms of gay rights. Who knows maybe sometime in the future there will be an openly gay President? If you would have asked someone 50 years ago if there would ever be a black president, they probably would have laughed. But that is the beauty of America; for how ugly and horrible things can be, society will continue to change for the better. We are just a brief moment in time, and that is why we view things as bad at this moment.
When I listened to the question the woman gave on the camera, I thought about it form a guy perspective. Lesbians and lesbian sexuality is definitely more accepted in society than gay men. I answer this from a man’s perspective. There’s nothing more beautiful than two women together. I think it’s great, because I love women. I love everything about them. But if you were to show me two men together in a sexual situation, I would not be interested in that. This is because I am into women not men. I have no problem with gay men holding hands or kissing in public, but I am not into gay sexuality as I am into lesbian sexuality. Women are more accepted by society as lesbians, because men accept them due to the sexual taboo it brings.
I think a lot of it has to do with insecurities that men have. Men are very insecure about a lot of things, and they project it by acting out on something that may challenge that specific insecurity. For example, when I go the gym, I noticed that a lot of men are too afraid to shower in the locker room. People my age would rather get done in the gym wipe the sweat off, change and go to class. That’s pretty disgusting. I think it has a lot to do with insecurity. I am secure with myself and I shower there, but I notice that people get tense and more quickly out of my way when I walk through in a towel. It’s very funny, like I have a disease or something. What’s even funnier is the old guys who walk around the place but ass naked like it’s nothing, and that whole side of the locker room will not have a single young adult in it, because they are petrified that there are exposed pennises.
I don’t know, society is still very sensitive in terms of sex and sexuality. It will take some time to have society fully desensitized from this whole homophobe thing.
That is a very good question. I can only assume that lesbians are accepted more than gays because that almost seems more like the norm in society these days. Granted, being gay is socially accepted these days as in people recognize them as who they are and we are seeming to get a lot better at actually not judging and writing them off as much, but when it comes to girls, it seems like society – both men and women – find them acceptable and I believe the media has a lot to do with it. If you watch any movie, especially a teenage/college spoof movie, it always has some kind of girl-on-girl action. Hollywood knows that this stuff sells so they do that, and from there guys see it as being more acceptable because they see it a lot more often than any guy on guy action. Even when people are out at parties, a lot of the times girls actually dance with each other and act like they are grinding on each other but we all don't see that as being wrong in any way. In a lot of girls’ pictures there usually is some kind of action that could be considered lesbian but people really don’t view these as anything significant because we always think that most of the time they are joking, and even when they aren’t, they probably would even get more people to check them out because guys love that. And that is another reason why lesbians are more socially accepted because guys actually think that’s hot. I don’t know if I ever heard of any girl saying that guy-on-guy action was hot, and if they did, I must have missed the memo. People can probably think of more reasons why lesbians are accepted more than gays but it’ as I said, the media controls what is acceptable mostly in the United States, and lesbian action is a very popular theme at least in movies and TV shows. It goes deeper than that though when it comes to gays because even if Hollywood makes a big production with male gay actors (like Brokeback Mountain which people said was really good), it still doesn’t help make being gay openly more acceptable in people’s heads. Also, when two girls actually engage in some kind of lesbian action, people don’t really consider them as full blown lesbians but if guys did anything along those lines people would actually look at them differently and think that those guys actually had feelings for each other and were really gay. Whatever the reason, I think it’s mostly because of the media and the media’s impact on society that determines what is usually acceptable and what isn’t.
As a man, I think the reason that lesbians are more acceptable than gay men is because of the fact that men tend to voice their opinions to others more about things that they disagree with. I also think that without a doubt, men are much less accepting of gay men than they are lesbians. In fact, I think many men strongly support lesbian relations, whereas the idea of two men being intimate is probably close to the last thing that most straight men want to think about. I think that is the main reason that most people are accepting of lesbians and less accepting of gay men.
I believe that the term lesbian is more widely accepted in today’s society because most of the people, who oppose of gay relationships, are men. I think that many carry this stigma that they shouldn’t associate or talk about gay men because that may mean that they support them in some sort of way. I think that people better accept lesbians because it almost seems more natural for two women to be together then two men. I think for men especially, it’s easier to believe why two women would want to be in a relationship rather than two men. Men are always portrayed in a dominant light which makes it so hard to understand why a man would need emotional as well as physical support from another man. When one thinks of a stereotypical lesbian couple, they think of one woman who is the “butch” and the other who is much more sensitive and loving. With a gay couple, there are often notions of two different types of personalities in a relationship but that is not always the case.
[Reply]
Many people cannot find it reasonable that gay people don’t necessarily have to fit into the cookie cutter pattern of the typical gay relationship. I also believe that being a lesbian comes with the preconceived notion that all lesbians are being “sexy” in having relations with another woman. When people often think of lesbians they think of they often have a distinct image in their head. I think most of this is due to society and the media. There are so many productions that have the stereotypical lesbians who make out on cue. Because of this, the general public views lesbians as socially acceptable. It’s only when they find someone who does not fit in these guidelines do they think it’s not okay. Many movies showing gay men aren’t so popular.
[Reply]
In the movie Brokeback Mountain, two cowboys fall in love and confess their love for each other. This movie went under many criticisms for being so candid in showing a gay relationship. Other movies that show lesbians do not have this same reaction. For many men, I think they wouldn’t have to be asked twice to watch a movie that contained lesbians. However, if the same type of guy was offered to watch Brokeback Mountain, I’m sure he would be completely hesitant. I also think men feel like lesbians only like other women for attention, that they aren’t necessarily in love each other, but are just feeling out their options. Based on this, I think it’s easier for people to imagine that two women are together just because they are just “exploring”, rather than two men being in a romantic relationship.
[Reply]
This poses an interesting question. I would argue that lesbians are more accepted into our culture for a couple of reasons. One of those reasons is because society has allowed them to be. Sam brought a few points in class that struck me: At first he asked what males in the class watched porn. Though met with reluctance, the majority of the class’s male population raised their hands. When he asked who in the class did not watch porn, nobody raised their hands. Whether it’s considered a taboo subject or not, porn is something that inevitably present in our society. A few moments after Sam said that 98.9% of all pornography includes a girl-on-girl sex scene. Because it is the context of “straight porn” this is automatically understood by men (and woman) as an acceptable expression of erotica.
[Reply]
Another thing that I found interesting was the fact that women are more likely to experiment with other women than men with other men. However, while it included oral and anal sex within the male population, it never specified what sexual acts women were participating in. How many times have you walked into a bar and have seen two girls making out? I bet if we took a class poll a significant fraction of the women would admit to doing it. Whether it’s based in love, an experiment, or an attempt to garner attention from men, it happens. It is also a lot less of a big deal than the acts of oral and anal sex as specified among males.
[Reply]
Because women are naturally more expressive, they have less difficulty showing affection or an attraction to people of the same sex. I was recently having a conversation with two friends of mine about how one is more likely to hear a woman comment on the attractiveness of another woman rather than a man about another man. I believe my male friends exact words were, I could never go up to someone and say “my, what a handsome dude! “ Aside from the occasional comment about Brad Pitt, men tend to stray away from such conversations.
[Reply]
We must also stop and ask ourselves, to what extent is society actually accepting lesbians. Is it that they support the actual loving union between two women? Or, is it that the actual homosexual act that they find exciting? There is a huge difference between getting turned on by two women going at it and being a guest at their wedding (or “civil union”). Interestingly enough, some men that I know that like girl-on-girl porn, tend to use the words “dyke” and “butch” when referring to lesbians. What is it about the relationship and the commitment that makes people so uncomfortable?
[Reply]
I agree with you that gay women are more accepted then gay men in society. I think that a lot of it has to do with societal norms and stereotypes. In our culture, men are depicted as strong, macho people who aren’t supposed to show emotion. Although I completely disagree with societies depiction of male, this is the case. When people hear the word gay men, they automatically think of super feminine stereotypical gay man. I know that’s not right, but that’s how society depicts gay men. Some straight men get very uncomfortable because it’s not the normal “macho” way.
I think society or at least the straight males in society view lesbians as sexually appealing. Seeing two women kiss turns on many men. The prevalence of this fact is shown in popular culture such as film and the highly successful porn industry. I think when straight men think of lesbians, they think of a lot of good-looking women instead of the manlier looking lesbians. I feel that two good-looking lesbians are accepted more in society then two manly looking lesbians.
Throughout history, there have been times where women have tried to act like men. Many women have struggled to be treated equally as men so maybe that has something to do with the fact that more accepted. Women have fought hard for rights in life and work to be treated equally. We forget that at one time there weren’t women sport teams and women couldn’t join the army. Their struggle is on-going today, with many positive changes. Society has seen women trying to act more like men then men trying to act more like women. I’m certainly not saying that all gay women act like men and that all gay men act like women. I’m saying that the stereotypical gay man’s picture in society is a feminine one instead of the “macho” norm. In history, there hasn’t been a moment where men tried to act or be treated the same way as women. There are straight men who are metro sexual and still get ridiculed. Why is it such a big deal that a man enjoys shopping, dresses well, tans and looks good? For heavens sake, men who are nurses get made fun of because its’ typically a women’s profession. It’s sad that our society makes fun of someone because they save lives. This ridicule is extremely prevalent in society and pop culture again. In the movie, Meet the Parent, Ben Stiller’s character is a male nurse. He is constantly made fun of by his girlfriend’s father because of his “feminine” profession. In closing, if society makes fun of straight men so much for doing “feminine” activities, then gay men must get it even worse. Hopefully, this will all change in the near future.
[Reply]
I think it might because of the gender discrimination– don't misunderstood me, because in the history man are always considered as the representation of power, strength, and duty/responsibility. That makes it harder to link the image of a man to a gay man. As what I learned that one guy of a gay couple is usually considered as "ukeru" in Japanese, which means to recieve, to get… (yeah you know what I mean). So people usually kind of don't like it. This override the normal expectation of a man by normal people. That makes this problem. While girls don't have this problem because if a girl acts manly, or at least shows some men's features, we won't have bad feelings towards that. Instead, we might think that she's cute or somewhat sexy. That makes it different for lesbians and gays. The lesbians are okay to be accepted while the gays are not that easy going with the majority of people. So what I think is that we really need to change our mind and reconsider it: that no one, no matter his or her gender, is born be like something, we all ought to born just like ourselves! So let the gay/lesbian acceptance thing slide through. It doesn't really matter if you take a broader perspective.
[Reply]
I think that the difference is due to various reasons. You obviously have to take into account the fact that most straight men find lesbians a turn on, so automatically, that gives them a head start. Also, women are known to be more open about sexuality. It has always been so that people don't get very offended when they look at two girls holding each others' hands, or hugging each other, or even kissing each other on the cheeks etc. It's widely accepted that women are more "personal" and that being "touchy" with each other is not a big thing for them, so when two lesbians step up from kissing each other to making out, it is not as big a deal as it would be if it was two guys. Guys, by default, are "supposed" to be more macho, and display less amounts of affection for each other or their partners etc. It is not common sight for people to see two guys holding each others' hands, or hugging each other passionately, no matter how close they might be. Even the best of guy friends, in these times, hesitate in showing feelings or affections for their guy friends, and a lot of the times, just because if they do so, they might be perceived as feminine, and in a lot of the cases, gay/homosexual. That is why it is such a big deal when people see two guys' holding each others' hands and displaying affection for each other. It is merely because of the image that society has created for straight people and homosexuals, especially homosexual men. Although this is the general perception, this is not always the case. I know of many women who get "grossed out" by lesbians and because they almost fear that their girl friends may be gay, they prefer to hang out and be friends with men, especially gay men. In some cases, it is the same for guys, guys who prefer hanging out with women, especially gay women, because they fear that their guy friends may be gay. Although there are cases like that, I believe that it is definitely true that gay women are more accepted in society than gay men, and that is most likely for the reasons that I have written above. I mean, personally, I don't have any problems with gay men, but just like most other straight people, if it came down to hanging out with them, I would rather do so with gay women rather than gay men. It's just how society has taught most straight people to be, which I think is wrong. So I think that pretty much explains why gay women are more accepted in society than gay men – I don't think that it's fair to them, but I don't see it changing too soon, even with all the positive steps that are being taken.
[Reply]
In my opinion lesbians are more accepted than gay men because of the media. The media portrays lesbians as sexy and attractive. This allows them to be more accepted. I feel, however, that young, sexy lesbians are more accepted than “butch” lesbians. As a man, I know if I see two attractive girls making out then I have no problem. However if I see two manly women making out, I think it is not natural.
It is very sad that most Americans, including myself think lesbians are perfectly fine, but gay men are not. The United States is dominated by straight men, and straight men do not find gay men acceptable. It is strange to see two gay men holding hands or kissing in public. This is unfortunate but true. The media dictates what is acceptable and what is unacceptable, and in this day and age it is unacceptable for gay men to publicly display affection. I would even take it one step further and say that most people would find it unacceptable for lesbians to display affection publicly.
Our society has made great strides toward accepting lesbians and gays, however we are not finished making strides. I hope that in the future it will be perfectly acceptable for 2 men and 2 women to walk down the street holding hands. As this society moves to a more liberal one, it becomes more of a possibility. That being said, thee reality is that we are nowhere near a time where homosexuals can “flaunt their homosexuality” and it be completely normal.
The civil rights movement, which occurred in the 1960’s gave African Americans basic human rights. In our current day and age there is still a lot of racism toward African Americans. Even though we have an African American president, our society will never truly be equal toward minorities. With gay marriage being increasingly legalized, I think it is safe to say that we are witnessing the gay person’s “civil rights movement.” In the 1960’s South, African Americans were still being discriminated against. Even today, there is very much discrimination. I think that it will take a very long time for discrimination against gay people to considerably die down.
It is very unfortunate that we live in a world where minorities do not receive the same rights as a majority, but it is something that must be addressed. In every society, the minority is usually persecuted. This is a face that cannot be ignored. Humans like to belittle other humans, so when one group of humans is in power it is typical that they will persecute the group that is lower than them. Gay people can look forward to being more accepted as time passes, but I do not think that there will be a time when they are completely accepted.
[Reply]
I think a lot of people are interpreting this question wrong. I will not clarify because pretty much everyone who posted before me has covered that. Anyway, I have never really thought about this particular question before, but now that I do think about it, its very prevalent. And for the record, I am all for gay rights in every way!
In my opinion, there are many causes for this. The first one that comes to my mind is the fact that lesbian acts, like girls making out with each other, is considered “hot” in our society today. Just the other night, I was snowtubing with some friends and when it came time for us to leave, we all obviously had to put our tubes away. Someone had very kindly taken my tube to be put away for me, but did not take my friends. Since we were kind of far away from the tube-holding place, we tried to convince a drunken worker to take her tube for her, since he was going that direction anyway. After he attempted to make some advances, he finally said, “Why don’t you two just make out already?” Excuse me? I will stand by the fact that we had neither done nor said anything that would provoke him to make that request. Being a girl, I personally do not understand the attraction of two girls making out. But a total stranger wanted to watch two other girls kiss each other because somehow, in society that is “accepted,” for lack of a better word. Therefore, being a lesbian is not looked upon as being “gross” to the men in our society, whereas many of them may still be “creeped out” by gay men couples.
Another reason for this could be that there are certain men out there that find themselves so attractive that they are just TERRIFIED that a gay man will force himself upon them. I know a few people who are very, very homophobic. They claim that they are not homophobic, and that they are accepting. But at the same time, these people (who are all men) actually think that just because a man is gay that he is going to try to touch you, kiss you, have sex with you. It amazes me that they flatter themselves so much! They claim they do not mind being around a gay man, unless he “tries” something. Do you honestly think that will happen? Really? So with that said, I have spent time around many lesbians and I have been pretty confident that none will try to maul me. Why is it that men get the idea in their head that a gay man will try to rape him? I have never thought that about a lesbian before..and is that because I am comfortable with my straightness? That I may be more emotionally secure than these particular men? I am not quite sure of this answer, but I do think that is another reason that lesbians are more accepted than gay men. The men out there love lesbian acts, and are terrified of being raped by a gay man. That seems to sum it up. And as for women, I have only met a handful of women who are strongly against gay rights and it was all for religious purposes. I have met none religious men who have been against gay rights, probably just because they think every gay man out there is going to rape them. Sorry boys, you should not flatter yourselves so much!
[Reply]
I do agree with the fact that a lesbian couple is more accepted than a gay couple, but I don't think it is always the case. I don't think all lesbian couples are accepted by people, but a lesbian couple that is attractive is accepted. In a society dominated primarily by males, it's accepted to see a lesbian couple with two attractive girls because guys don't think it is a bad thing when two good looking girls are together. I don't think it is accepted to see a lesbian couple with two butch girls. I think overall our society doesn't really accept gays and lesbians and the only reason it seems like lesbians are accepted is because our society is dominated by males and men enjoy seeing two good looking women together.
[Reply]
The topic is why is it accepted for lesbians but not for gay males. I think it is a society type of solution females that choose to have relations with another female is accepted more because they used as a public interest. Movies have many scenes were two females are having a "make out session" for almost five minutes of the movie. So society is exposed to this particular side more than two guys kissing. People have made it more or less taboo for two men to kiss and made it less of a taboo but common to see two females making out, and "being gay together".
Television and movies have been opening the public's eye to different types of sexuality or gender preference over a number of years. Television show such as " The Real World" has cast men that are gay, bisexual, and I do not know about trans-gender. M.T.V. has been bringing this to the table for many years, and one of the first few seasons that cast a member who had aids and that was openly gay. Another television show that has open the public up to being gay, is "Degrassi". This television show has aired for many years and has brought up many issues about being gay and how it is sometimes more accepted for women to be lesbian than males to be gay. My favorite show "Will and Grace" two best friends working through life together. Will is gay and is open about it. Grace on the other hand is straight, and they live together as best friends trying to get through life.
Movies also bring issues to the table like "Broke Back Mountain" a movie about two cowboys living in the wilderness together and end up in love, I think. The one has a family and wants to keep his secret affair away from his family. Another movie that tried to portray being gay is "I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry" this movie brought the reality that gay marriage was not accepted. The character lost his wife and could not receive their benefits or the money from his wife's death. Then he decides to become a life partner to his friend in order to receive the money. This movie made me think more about same sex couples not been accepted as being a couple or having the right to become married.
In the end i think that acceptance of same sex couples is becoming more acceptable in today's society. Slowly but surely gay men are becoming accepted more into the public eye. Everything takes time when it deals with the acceptance of society; nothing is ever quickly changed when dealing with public views.
[Reply]
redsoxnation222 Reply:
February 20th, 2010 at 1:51 am
So do you feel that lesbians are accepted more freely by society as a couple or gay men? I agree that movies and television have been trying to bring homosexuality out of the "closet" since it is now such a prevalent thing in society, but they never display it as an accepted norm. I also agree that society is becoming for and more accepting towards the gay community but the question is who do you think they are more accepting towards and I feel that answer is lesbians. I feel this is because men are more accepting towards women showing affection for each other then they are about seeing men while women are more accepting of both lesbians and gay men.
[Reply]
part 3: There shouldn’t be any reason at all, but I really feel like the strongest reason is my first one. Females are born with a beauty; inner and outer. And them exploiting it with other women I guess makes people see twice the beauty? I don’t know, it’s just stupid in my opinion. The gay community doesn’t consist of escaped convicts from an insane asylum, yet there are people that will run in the opposite direction of them. It isn’t a disability or handicap; it’s just how they feel. And it makes people that are gay so afraid to come out of the closet. How can it possibly be a choice, it’s one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard of. No one would choose it for fear of being persecuted by all the homophobes in this country. And it’s not fair. Lesbians should not be more accepted than gay men, we are all the same, and this country is full of ignorant stubborn fools.
[Reply]
So the question that was asked was why lesbians are more accepted than gay men. My point of view is that guys are supposed to be tough and strong. To see guys who hold hands and pick out clothes that best fit themselves are very strange to watch. Also, sometimes gays talk with a higher pitch of voice and sway their hands around, it just doesn't fit right in society. Your body is made to reproduce with other women, not other men. That's the way nature goes and that's the way it should be done. Maybe some guys don't fit with other men or woman, so they just want to be different than everyone else. I think people just don't see other guys with each other as romantic partners.
Now for lesbians, I guess people could see other girls with each other. Plus, I think that some guys like when they are lesbians around them. To tell you the truth, I don't know why other men like girls mating out with each other. Women are better together than guys, I guess from peoples' perspective.
My opinion is that gays and lesbians shouldn't be acceptable to everybody. Look at our bodies we were made to reproduce with the other sex. There are people out in the world to be different, which I agree. People don't want to be the same with everything. The world would be boring and not interesting at all. But for some people they want to be notice so they'll say that they're gay are lesbians because they are different and unique from ordinary people. They want to be on TV for rights and to be allowed in the world. I don't think people are chosen to be gay or lesbians. People chose for themselves to be straight or curve. I heard people saying that they were born gay or lesbians and they have to live their life that way. People who change would say that they felt comfortable around with the same sex and not the opposite. Could you think that men have a better bond between each other than women of course. Men can talk to each other and do manly things like watching sports, golfing, eating food, and sleeping. With girls it's different you have to do things you both like and agree on. So no matter what, it will feel different being around girls than guys. I just can't see guys holding hands with each other and making out. It's the same with women, I can't see them making out with each other. I think different is good, but not to change your sex partner is completely a whole different story. We just weren't made to be with the same sex as romantic partners.
[Reply]
First off, I want to say that I don’t think that either gays or lesbians are truly accepted by much of society. But it’s definitely true that lesbians are the more accepted of the two. I believe that are many reasons that lesbians are accepted more, and many reasons why gay men are not as accepted in today’s society.
Lesbians are considered by many people to be okay and in a lot of circumstances welcomed with open arms. The main reason I think is that when women express their love towards their friends, it’s considered normal. For example, if two girls who are friends hug each other, no one would be offended and no one would question their sexuality. It’s just a normal thing for them to do. So if a lesbian couple was out together in a public space holding hands or hugging each other, no one would notice and probably most people would never even consider that they might be lesbians. You can even take it one step further by saying that lesbian experimentation is considered okay by many people. It has become pretty commonplace for women, especially college age girls to experiment with other girls. Most people just view it as just an experience that many people have growing up. Another reason for their acceptance is that the majority of men, and probably even some women, are turned on by lesbian sex. All one has to do is look up what percentage of porn is lesbian in nature and they will surely find that it is a high percentage. For some reason, it has become okay for lesbian sex to take place, in fact it is pretty much encouraged because it sells. So when men think of lesbians, there thinking of the hot girls that are shown in porn videos, which will lead them to embrace it.
As for gay men, I don’t feel like they will be truly accepted by society for a long time. Being gay goes against society’s engrained ideas of masculinity. When these concepts are broken it causes people to become outraged because it is just so different. Men are supposed to be tough guys who don’t show anyone their emotions. Their main goals in life should be to watch football, drink beer, and most importantly, get with as many hot girls as they can. This is the idea of manliness that most men and women probably have. So when people see two guys hooking up with each other they are repulsed on a lot of different levels. Also, it is just visually jarring to see two guys showing any type of affection towards each other in public. When was the last time you saw to straight guys holding hands? Probably never.
Basically, we have created societal rules that are different for men and women. Homosexuality can sort of fit into the rules for girls, but definitely not for men.
[Reply]
Although I do not necessarily believe it is right, I do agree that society seems to be more accepting of lesbian couples. I personally would like to believe that I see both lesbians and gay men as equal and think that all same sex couples should have the same rights. However, to answer the question as to why this may be, I think it all comes back to the personalities of women versus men from day one.
Obviously all men and women are different, but from the beginning many perceive women to be the ones who share stories and become friends on a more “intimate” level I guess you could say. It is common for straight women to hug when they say hello and goodbye to one another, often times they lay in bed together and watch movies or have a girls night, etc. It is not rare for female friends to say I love you to one another. However if a straight man makes a comment to another man such as “I love you” or something, many will through in the “no homo” line afterward. I think this is a clear example that most of society is more accepting of two women rather than two men. Men feel the need to through in the “no homo” so that others do not view them as gay. Likewise, men usually shake hands when they meet one another so this type of view is set up for many to believe that men should not have any level of intimacy with one another, even as friends. Similarly if you see five guys lying in a bed together you think something completely different of it than you would if you saw five females together. I think it is all an instinct that we have our minds set to think.
I also think lesbians are more accepted because as always, the media has an effect on it. There are people such as Ellen DeGeneres and Rosie O’Donnell who are lesbians and they are confident in themselves and what they do. I think this gives lesbians more of a support system and someone to stand behind and look up to. I’m not saying there are no gay males being portrayed in the media but I think having people such as Ellen who is well known and loved by many makes others appear as more accepting to lesbians.
Also, I think it comes down to sexual reasons. In general I would say straight men are accepting of lesbians because some find two women doing sexual things to be attractive. However, most straight men probably don’t find two males attractive. I think women are probably more willing to accept both gay males and females and therefore in the end lesbians seem to be the more accepted of the two.
[Reply]
I thought that this was a really great question. It really is true that lesbians are looked upon in a different light than gay men in our society, despite the fact that there is no greater difference between the two than there is between any man and woman. Why is it that lesbians are often viewed in a way that could even be considered positive, whereas there is more of a stigma associated with gay men? I, like many of those that posted before me, think that one of the main reasons for this double standard can be tied into the porn industry. Maybe not even the porn industry itself, but into the difference in sexual desires between men and women. Straight women that view pornography will almost undoubtedly be viewing straight, male/female material. While logic would indicate that the same would be true of straight men, this is not necessarily the case. Many men are aroused by the idea of two women being together sexually, and thus there is a considerable market for lesbian porn in the straight male demographic. The inverse of this situation does not seem to be the same. While straight men often find homosexual women attractive, most straight women are not aroused by gay men. So, while there is a large market for male/female and female/female pornographic materials, there is not nearly as large of a market for male/male materials because the gay male demographic is the only population to which such materials are appealing. Thus, a double standard exists because of the differences in sexual tastes between men and women.
Another reason for the existence of such a double standard is the balance of power in our society and who controls the majority of public opinion. In relevance to this issue, we can break down the population into four major categories: straight men, straight women, homosexual men, and homosexual women. Most people would probably agree with the notion that of these four groups, straight males have the greatest influence in our society. Additionally, of the four groups, one could make the assumption that straight males are also the least sympathetic towards the gay community. Although logic would indicate that straight men are no less sympathetic than straight women since they have a shared sexuality, women tend to be more understanding and emotionally cognizant of other people. Although they are not of the same sexual orientation, straight women are much more likely to be sympathetic towards homosexuals and are less likely to find their lifestyle “disturbing”. But since straight men have the majority of the influence in society, and they are much more likely to find gay men disturbing than gay women, it seems understandable that lesbians often do not catch as much heat as gay men do. It certainly doesn’t make it acceptable, but that could be an explanation of the mystery behind this double standard. Whatever the reasons, the existence of this double standard is really unfair and should be investigated more so that we can try to determine what the causes are and how to repair it.
[Reply]
My opinion on this question is that women lesbian couples will always be more accepted than gay couples amongst society for several reasons. However the main reason why I think this is so is because women are not only stigmatized but also socialized to be more caring, intimate, and passionate people. Therefore when woman show their affection towards another woman it also seems as though its just "girls being girls". Because even straight when show their affection for each other by linking arms, sleeping together on the same bed, and some even give small kisses to each other on the lips and this is seen as normal or ok to do. So if these acts are accepted among straight woman then it will definitely be accepted amongst an actual couple.
[Reply]
I think lesbians are more accepted then gay men because we have been conditioned to think so as a society. From the time we were born we learned from movies, television shows, books, our friends, our parents, our relatives, and just the strangers talking besides us that lesbians are hot and gay men are unnatural. It is hard to change something that is so jammed into a culture. Also I think the factor that men have such a strong sexual drive, they want everything sexual without giving up their manliness, which is also part of our culture. Two women is sexual while two men is disturbing.
[Reply]
This is a question I myself have many times thought about. In general, I have found that women are much more accepting of other people than men are. Having said this, I think the reason why lesbians are more accepted than gay men is because to guys, lesbians are a sexual turn on, whereas gay men are not. Most women I have talked to about this issue have no problems with lesbians or gay men, and many have a friend who is a gay man. On the other hand, I have found that for the most part, men are not comfortable with the thought of two men together, but love the thought of two women together. I have also heard in many cases that people view two girls who are a couple more as best friends than actually a couple.
[Reply]
This is definitely something that I've experienced as well. It just always seems that lesbians are more socially acceptable than gay men. I mean look at the popular media, women touching each other and showing affection for each other are everywhere. However, you almost never see ads or posters with two men doing the same thing. Honestly, I think we, our generation at least, has been socialized to believe that lesbians are okay, but gay men are taboo.
As early as my teenage years, I was exposed to girls experimenting with each other. I remember that many girls would kiss each other in front of guys. Although I think it was more for attention than out of desire, the boys' reactions showed that it was okay to do this. In addition, other girls didn't react too much if they saw girls do this. If anything, we thought they were being annoying because they were craving attention, but no one was repulsed. However, if these were boys, I don't think that girls would "like" it, and boys would freak out. I'm not totally sure why this is, but like I said, I think it has something to do with socialization.
I wonder if from an early age that boys did this if people would react how they do with girls? Maybe since girls are already affectionate, please don't see it as weird. I mean, I honestly think that if boys did that people would still act as they do now, shocked.
Or maybe it has something to do with experience? This summer, my guy best friend came out to all of us. Before he came out, I really didn't know anyone that was gay, or at least they weren't close to me. Because I didn't know anyone, and since it was so foreign to me, I used to not be very accepting of gay men. I think that I just didn't understand. Now that I have experience with a gay man, I feel much more accepting. Sure it will still be weird to see Mike kissing a guy, but I think once I see it a few times it will become completely normal to me. Just having him in my life has opened my eyes so much, and I'm so grateful for that. So I guess this goes back to what I've been saying the whole time, once you see something, and become socialized to it, it's no longer abnormal or weird.
In my opinion, I think that everyone should be able to live the life that they want to live. As long as people are happy, who are you to judge? I think that the absolutely worst thing is to live a life that you don't want to be living, and I would hate for prejudice to do this to people. I think that most people are becoming less prejudice, and with this, gays, both men and women, are becoming much more accepted. Hopefully the people that live those lives are seeing those changes as well.
[Reply]
I honestly believe that this isn't exactly the case. I think that a lot of men are going to be less accepting of gay men because they are more masculine and don't like the way some gay men act; but woman also feel the same way about lesbians. Personally, I don't feel this way about gay people at all, I am completely accepting of them, and always have been. For a while, when I was younger, I liked the idea of gay men more than gay woman, because I couldn't relate to the gay woman at all. I at least had the same attraction for men, as do gay men. This gave us something in common. But now that I am mature and understand that we are all people and it doesn't matter who we are attracted to, it truly doesn't matter whether you are a gay woman or man.
I believe that people are raised with the hatred toward homosexuals, and it is completely absurd. I understand if you are religious, and you don't like the idea of people going against your religious beliefs, but if you aren't a devout religious person, then it really shouldn't matter. People should be accepting of everyone in the world. Obviously this isn't the case, and probably won't be.
[Reply]
First, I like this question and it is an interesting topic. I also think that lesbians are more accepted than gay men. There are different reasons why I think this is true. First, some gay men act differently within the stereotypes of the way they dress, talk, and sometimes even walk. Lesbians don’t act much differently in public and it is tough to pick them out of a crowd of women. The next reason lesbians are more accepted is because if you go anywhere you sometimes see girls hugging and kissing and sometimes walking arm in arm down the road. This is normal to see and people don’t think anything of it. If two guys walked down the street holding hands or walking with their arms locked, people automatically think they are gay. Also, they think the same when guys kiss. If you go to a party here on the weekends, you usually run into two girls making out and doing whatever. I know most of this occurs because of the alcohol involved, but guys are all for it and many girls have done it. Now I know for a fact if this ever happened between two guys, the whole party would freak out. It is not normal to see two guys making out at a party unless you are at a gay bar.
As I was reading some of the previous comments to this question, I saw something about how men are more comfortable talking about lesbians rather than gay men. I completely agree with this idea and think that it is very true. If I walk down the street and see two lesbians holding hands, I would feel no different than I normally do if I see two straight girls walking down the street. If I saw two gay guys holding hands, I would feel a little different. I have no problem with gay people, I think if that’s who they want to be and they found someone for themselves, all the power to them. Everyone has their own feelings and each want to do their own thing. I also agree with the part where people say that some guys get turned on by lesbians. As I said before, if you see two girls making out at a party, all the guys are cheering and rooting it on. Finally, in class Sam brought up the porn topic and how you always see lesbian porn on website and you never see gay porn. This goes back to how seeing two girls doing their thing is a lot more comfortable to see than two guys. Everyone has their own perspectives on the topic of gay guys and lesbian women and there will never be one direct answer why one is more accepted than the other.
[Reply]
I think that lesbian women are more accepting that gay men mainly because I think that most people are not comfortable seeing men holding hands and kissing or showing pubic affection. I think women are accepted because they are already accepted as feminine so we already see them a certain way and just accept the fact when they are with other women. In some cases it turns men on. I have this theory that all women love other women. You rarely hear about men just having sex or kissing just to see what it’s like when women do it rather often. I think it’s sexy when you see two women kissing or having sex and when men do it its just flat out disgusting. I think it goes both ways when you say that when two girls are together men and mostly women accept it and when you see two men together it is just not the same.
The only way I lesbian women and gay men on the same level is when the two are mature enough to want to get married and possible adopt kids and raise a family. They are beyond the sexual stage and proving to be gay and proud of being gay. They just want to be with their partner and move on. I think that is the only way that they are accepted at the same level and lesbian women are not more accepted that gay men. I would have to say that we are continuing to move forward and being gay and lesbian is becoming more accepted and I think eventually it will not matter whether you are a lesbian woman or gay man. They will both be accepted the same.
Lastly, I think that the media and television plays a huge role in this as well. Ellen Degeneris is a lesbian and is a very successful talk show host and a lot of people love her even though she is a lesbian. However, there are gay men on television and I know of people who will not watch the show because of it. I think that when you see a lesbian woman you see a sensitive woman who is caring and things like that but when you see a gay man most of us think sick thought and use derogatory terms and I just do not think this is right. If we all just worried about ourselves we would have no problems. My mom always says everybody to their own cup of tea. Which means we should stay out of others business and just let them live their lives. But I think that gay men becoming accepted is growing but we just accept women more right now because they just appear more sensitive and caring and more mature about it.
[Reply]
Sarah Doe once said, "I'll kiss two girls with one guy if I'm elected president." … Sarah Doe was the Class President at my high school, and although this was a joke amongst a few friends, it sparked discussion amongst us. Sarah said that she would actually do that if the oppurtunity presented itself (not for her to get elected). So, I asked if that made her bi-sexual and she was quick to say no. But, I'm not sure. I still try to think about it today and figure out what it really means to be gay/lesbian.
I don't understand why people just kind of laughed when Sarah Doe said that in high school. Granted, it was mostly just close friends however it still seems unusual. I think this is another example of lesbian acts, or the idea of two women in someway having sex or romance, and how lesbian acts are more accepted among society. Although it may be a subconscious decision by society to, for some reason, accept two women more than two men, it still seems wrong.
I want to just talk about what sam was saying about how lesbians are women looking for "manly" women and Gay men are often looking for more "feminine" men. I can only begin to wrap my mind around this issue. I don't know how to explain it and I'm not sure if you can, but it is just an interesting point worth thinking about. Why do we think in the way that we do? why are we attracted to a certain sex, or both sexes? What makes every person excited? and is it the same in some people? or is it different in everyone? I know these are all just questions, but I think questions can say a lot more. Hopefully, one day whatever people want to do will be accepted, and LGBT people will not have to deal with ridicule and all of these topics surrounding their lives and beliefs.
In the end, my opinion is that men have more of a personna surrounding their sex. Men need to be MEN. That is the idea of many men across the world. It is sad that the world has to be this way, and I would say that things seem to be changing for the better these days in terms of people being more accepting of others. However, this shouldn't be an issue that society has to deal with from the start. Men and women all usually seem to want equality, so I think this is another situation where things are unequal between men and women and need to be changed. I think that it would a help for everyone on both sex teams.
[Reply]
As soon as a pregnant a woman finds out the sex of her baby, we define the baby’s gender even before the baby is born. We paint rooms pink for girls and blue for boys. From the moment of birth, our American society defines the acceptable male and female characteristics of a newborn. We immediately wrap a baby boy in blue and a baby girl in pink. I learned about an interesting study in my psychology class that pertains to this topic. New parents were given a baby that was wrapped in a pink blanket. All the parents described the baby as “cute, precious, and gentle” without even knowing the sex of the baby. Then they gave another set of parents a baby wrapped in a blue blanket. Essentially, the same thing happened with the parents describing the baby as “strong and handsome” without even knowing the sex of the newborn. As we allow our children to grow and be “themselves”, we give a male toddler a truck and a female toddler dolls. We continue to dress them “gender” appropriate until about age five when most children want to explore their world in their own ways. If a female pre-schooler starts to learn how to play sports, we don’t think twice about this decision. However, if a male pre-schooler is interested in dance classes we may raise an eyebrow. What if this young little boy decides to also listen to Britney Spears or maybe play dress-up too? Now, more than an eyebrow is raised. People start to talk about how “different” the boy is from others young boys. As the young girl starts to become better at sports she is also talked about; however, she is described as athletic and at the very worst a “tom-boy”. What we have to realize is that the way we raise our children, even before they decide their sexual preference (lesbian, gay or bisexual) is wrong. We allow society to approve of our female child’s gender preferences rather than male gender preferences. I think this is a huge issue within our society. We really don’t allow children to choose for themselves who they want to be. When they do chose what feels best for them, if it isn’t “socially” accepted we reject their beliefs and essentially their identity. It is not fair that we allow women to adopt female and male characteristics, yet scorn males when they are not portraying a masculine image. I like to imagine an alternate world for this scenario. If we didn’t dictate gender differences from birth, there wouldn’t even be labels such as a “feminine gay” or a “butch lesbian”. Gender would be more fluid and accepted as an individuality statement rather than an abnormality arising from society structured thought of femininity and masculinity.
[Reply]
I wish I had an answer for this. Especially because I feel this way about gays and lesbians. I 100% support a person's decision to be gay. At least I think I do. And it's not really a decision, it's the person; it is beyond their control. It's something people can't change about them, and people shouldn't have to. Unfortunately, I feel uncomfortable seeing their affection in public, gay men that is. And I’m not the only one. I suppose just because it's not an everyday thing. And in American society, it's extremely frowned upon.
The media is such a big deal in our society. Everyone wants to look like/be like/act like those celebrities on the cover of magazines. How often do we see a gay couple on a TV ad? I can’t say I’ve ever seen one. Without saying it’s wrong, the media implies that it’s wrong by not promoting it as a normal thing. In pornography magazines, dvds, etc., we see a lot of girl on girl action. This may make lesbians a little less frowned upon in America.
Also being a girl, I can understand why most people are more accepting of lesbians than gay men. Girls naturally show a lot of affection. We're emotional people. I walk around with my best friends all the time, naturally “flirting” with each other. But there’s no sexual feelings behind our public displays of affection. Seeing two girls holding hands doesn't necessarily mean they're gay; if they are, it's cute because they share their affection together, they have an even closer bond than straight girl friends. Guys, however, are supposed to be manly and tough. Even with a straight couple, a guy may be mocked and considered whipped if he shows a lot of affection. So seeing two guys together is even more inappropriate. Plus a majority of gay men are very feminine. This totally strays from the manly and tough attitude.
I think this is more of a big deal in the United States than the rest of the world. Two men from Europe, straight men, came to America and made out to show us how uptight and ridiculous we are about the matter. I think that's really respectable, and brave.
People get so worked up about their sexuality, and trying to fit their social norm. If this means scaring people away from what they really want, then it just makes the U.S. look bad. How much does gender matter anyway, it's what's inside that counts, right? So we see two hands linked, I wish that was all we could see. Unfortunately our eyes immediately gaze towards the faces, the other body parts. And we're quick to approve or disapprove. I hate this about myself, I wish I could look past everything and just see the love. I'm going to try, I hope others do as well.
How could you not after hearing Sam's lecture?
[Reply]
I think this is definitely an interesting question. I mean there is such a focus on female on female sexuality that it is almost hard not to accept. I think a lot of this had to do with advertising. I mean let's be honest sex sells and the female body is one of the biggest ad sellers out there. Most men are probably very arouse by the idea of two women being together so I genuinely think that many advertisers play off of this fantasy to sell ads. Beer ads love this! I mean "twins" for Budweiser or whatever I'm sure sold quite a few beers off the shelves.
[Reply]
It's all about playing off of people's desires and fantasies in order to boost sales. It's sad, but true and unfortunately it leads to an unfair view of lesbians versus gay men. However, I wonder if people tend to be more accepting of lesbian relationships involving more feminine women versus those of more butch females. I have a bad feeling that people only accept what they know and there needs to be a change and people need to be more education so as not to pass as much judgment. Maybe a way of fixing this would be to have more "gay friendly" advertisements then maybe one day there can be more acceptance.
[Reply]
I think there are a lot of stereotypes that gay men must overcome so that they are more accepted by society. I don’t understand it, either. But I do notice it. I myself see both gay women and men as equals of heterosexual women and men. I understand the idea that guys are turned on by lesbians and completely freaked out by gay men, but why? I feel like that has just been instilled in guys’ minds that they cannot be attracted to other men but girls can be attracted to other girls because that’s “cool.” Then again I think girls would be more so turned on by lesbians than gay men, which could lead to why lesbian couples are more accepted.
[Reply]
I personally believe that whether you are a lesbian woman, or a gay man, you are going to have a tough time in this society. It would be interesting to hear the point of views coming from both sides (lesbian women and gay men) on whether they feel that the other is more excepted in the society or not.
Both sides are dealing with the same issues of people looking at them and making comments if they are both walking down the street holding hands, with their arms around each other, or kissing. Both sides also have to deal with the people who are totally against it and make rude comments. And both lesbian women and gay men have to go through the issues of same sex marriages and adoptions.
[Reply]
However, I can think of a few reasons to why our society would accept being a lesbian woman more than being a gay man. For some reason, girls kissing other girls is encouraged by a lot of men and they think that it is really hot and a turn on. But a lot of times, those girls kissing other girls drunk at parties are actually straight or may be bi sexual. But either way, it means that the girls would be into the guy too and the guy can imagine having a three way (ha sorry that this is turning out like this). But I guess what makes me confused is..if two lesbians are kissing, and they are definitely lesbians, I don’t see how a guy would get excited about that because they are into each other and not men so they wouldn’t be into having a three some with him. But I guess men can still hope that they would be into them.
[Reply]
Another side of it is, in our society it is ok for girls to talk to other girls and make comments like “oh my god you look so hot tonight!” And that would acceptable. But do you ever hear of guys making a similar comment to each other? No you don’t. And I believe this comes from the fear that people (or the person they are talking to) may think they are gay. Where a girl could say a comment to her friend about how hot she looks, and not care if people think that she comes across as being a lesbian. Even at dancing clubs, straight girls have no problem dancing closely with each other, but straight guys would never be caught dead grinding with each other. So I guess this goes back to the original question, how did society get like this?
I guess to go back to the girls question. Why are lesbians more accepted in our society than gays? I truly do not know the real reason but I can only guess that it has to do with that fantasy of 2 girls and a guy.
[Reply]
The main reason I think lesbians are more accepted than gay men is because many straight men feel it is "hot" to encourage girl on girl action. I find this rather humorous. I also think lesbians are more accepted because women are see as "nurturing." It may not be weird for a woman to express love to anyone she may want because women are supposed to be caring and loving. Women who often engage in same-sex relationship are sometimes viewed as "experimenting." Girl on girl experimentation is more common than male on male experimentation so sometimes we just blow it off. Also girls are more often than guys the ones in college who want to experiment with their sexuality.
[Reply]
The tendency for society to be more accepting of lesbians as opposed to gay men most likely stems from an analysis of overall character traits for both males and females , and how far from these “normals” specific gay groups fall. In this sense, females are viewed as being more sexually experimental and more likely to have close, physical relationships with other females. Action-wise, lesbians are not far from highly affectionate friends, and thus do not appear as out of place as gay men do. On the male side of this, gay males often portray characteristics that are 180 degrees from what a “normal” male would be expected to have. Since male to male friendships are rarely physical in the same sense as female friendships, it is less natural and therefore more out of the norm to see two males being especially affectionate. Whereas this is probably the most sophisticated and nonjudgmental answer, there certainly are other interesting hypotheses to consider.
I can almost guarantee that anyone who has ventured to any handful of parties in their lifetime has seen two girls get drunk and make out (at least smooch a little) once or twice or maybe even more. To be honest, it really is not a rare site to see and further illustrates the type of relationship women tend to have, and thus why lesbians may not be that far out of the norm. I cannot however say that I have ever seen two males act in this manner under the same circumstances and thus would assert that the same activity is not as common for male friends. One reason for this is that women just look better. The feminine figure is such a highly praised body when compared to the male figure. Beauty trumps handsomeness on any day. Not to say that men can’t be thought of as beautiful, but the term undoubtedly is more associated with women. It only makes sense that intimacy involving two things of beauty and femininity would be more accepted than the same intimacy between handsomeness and masculinity.
Another reason for the more pronounced acceptance of lesbians than gay men is hormones. Testosterone, the male sex hormone, has trademark characteristics such as aggression and dominance. It is not uncommon for gay males to counter this by using estrogen supplements, therefore establishing a more feministic male. Although this is not always the case, I think my point is still clear that gay males do not exhibit the typical, biologically expected habits. As I read what I have written so far, it seems pretty clear that everything boils down to “the norm” and what people are/are not comfortable with seeing. The standard view of the male figure simply does not comply with the standard gay male figure, thus causing society to have increased resistance to their existence.
[Reply]
I think that lesbians are definitely more accepted by society than gay men are. When you think about it, how many times have you seen two girls walking down the street hand-in-hand and though that they were gay. Odds are not too many because it is such a common occurrence that it mostly goes unnoticed. However if a person was to see two men walking down the street like that, the general assumption would be made that they are gay. I think it's also considered relative fact that man men are turned on by lesbians, and men are usually more open about sex and the things that they like pertaining to sex, which really makes a big difference in acceptance of it.
[Reply]
I think it is a much easier step from friendship to something more for women. Women historically have always had closer more intimate friendships than men. It is not uncommon to see women holding hands or kissing each other on the cheek or having sleepovers. I think because of this and the way girls are raised it is not a far leap then to see them kiss on the mouth and that is why it seems more acceptable than two men doing the same thing. It is just the type of same sex relationships we form from infancy and those are very different for men and women.
[Reply]
I think this has a lot to do with societies image of masculinity. Its not uncommon to see two women walking together holding hands or linking arms. But the first thing that comes to your mind if two men were to do the same things is that they are gay. I think there is this stigma, that many men must appear to be homophobic whether they actually are or not. The media in the most party portrays gay men are very feminine and their straight male counter-part on the same show as extremely masculine. And i think for the most part women are portrayed differently.
[Reply]
The question of why lesbians are more acceptable in society than gay men is an interesting one. I do think the person asking the question is right when she says this statement. I think most people and almost all straight guys are more accepting of lesbians than gay men. I believe there are numerous reasons why this is true. In the following paragraphs I will address how I feel on the subject and why I think that lesbians are more accepted.
Personally, I find myself more accepting to lesbians than gay men. However, I have come a long way in my acceptance to gay men. I believe just like with races there is ignorance involved when talking about becoming acceptable. Personally I came from a very non diverse school and was not around anyone with a different race or sexuality. Thus, I was never able to see how people are who do not look the same as I do. Coming to Penn State it took time for me to finally become comfortable. Today many of my close friends are Asian or black. I now realize that there are no differences between people of skin color; it is the inside of the person that counts not appearance. The fact is that I never knew that was true until I met people that were different than me. This is the same as trying a new food, at first you may not want to try it but until you do you do not know if you like it or not. However, with gay people and lesbians the appearances are the same, but what is different is the makeup of the individual. I am still unsure if people are born gay or if it is their choice. In a way I believe it is both their choice and how they are genetically made up.
I think lesbians are more accepted in society because society is still male dominated. Men enjoy women thus they do not have a problem with two women showing affection. However, men feel disgusted when they see two men kissing. The other day the collegian had two men kissing on the front page, I was shocked and disgusted and looked away. Maybe I am disgusted because I am not used to seeing that happen. Or maybe I am disgusted because it should not be happening. I do not believe the public is ready to see those kind of actions in public. Even with straight men and women those actions are not appreciated in public. Some things are meant to stay in the bedroom. In closing, I believe that lesbians will always be more accepted than gay men. Lesbians are viewed as sexy by the public, and gay men are not.
[Reply]
I think that the reason why lesbians are more accepted than guys is because girls are naturally more affectionate and physical people. It wouldn’t be unusual for two girls to be walking with their arms around each other or hugging each other, but if two guys were doing that people would probably think that they were gay. Also, guys think that it is “hot” for girls to make out, and girls will sometimes make out with each other even though they are not lesbians. I have made out with girls before and I am not a lesbian, they were close friends of mine and we were drunk and talked into it by guys. I don’t feel attracted to them, it isn’t awkward and no one thinks that we are lesbians because of it. However, if guys were to make out they would definitely be considered gay and girls don’t think its “hot” when guys are making out.
[Reply]
I think lesbians are more accept by people because lesbians are HOT!!! Lesbians are sexy and is every straight guys fancy to be sexually active with a lesbian couple haha. But on a more serious note I think lesbians are more accepting because it is very hard sometimes to tell if a girl is a lesbian or not, especially if she is not butch. Then she would look like just a "regular" girl. With gay guys it is different because in society a guy is look at to be manly, masculine and macho, so if a guy comes off too feminine he is look at as gay, and what I heard some people say "a waste of some good meat". I think with gay males people fine it harder to understand why a guy would want to be with another guy.
I also think that sometimes gay men express themselves (like the way they talk and dress) is too much for people to handle.
On the other hand, sometimes I think that gay men are more accepted than lesbians by other women (straight women). I have notice that straight women find it very easy and comforting to become friends with gay men. Matter of fact I think some women are in love with gay men, I sometimes find that relationship very weird but cool sometimes.
And vice versa, I think that straight guys find it very easy to be friends with lesbians, especially butch lesbians. Some guys like to play basketball them, drink with them, find girls with them, talk about sex with them, and go to butch lesbians for advice with their girlfriends problems. So maybe it's equally accepting between the sexes. Because there is those straight guys who thinks that lesbians are stealing all the girls from them, which I find hilarious. Then there are straight girls who think that gay men are nasty and disgusting.
Between older generations vs. our younger generation now, I think those older generations no matter what find it very hard to accept homosexuality period, because in their day it was secretive and rarely talked about. I know when I talked to my grandmother about homosexuality she was very uncomfortable. But nowadays young people are becoming more open with their sexuality and more accepting of homosexuality. From my experience I have noticed that people now have basically became supportive of homosexuality because they have friends and family members who have came out of the closet, so they felt the need to be there for them and not walk out of their life. In general, I think people no matter what would be accepting to lesbians and gay men for their own personal reason or not be accepting. I think it have a lot to do with how a person was raised and/or their own personal beliefs and morals.
[Reply]
I think lesbians are more accepted in society than gay men because American society has been programmed that way for many years now. It has also been seen that women are more affectionate, loving, caring, whatever you want to call it while men are macho and tough. At a young age, boys and girls are taught a variety of gender roles. Girls play will dolls in pink, lacy dresses and boys play with trucks and blocks. These ideas that girls have to be submissive and meek in comparison with their male counterparts are put into children’s heads at a very young age. People tend to grow up with these ideas still in their heads. This makes it less of a weird or abnormal thing for girls to be affectionate towards one another. This, in turn, makes people less likely to turn their head or make a huge deal out of two women being loving with one another. On the other hand, males have always been taught to be hard and not to show emotion. That way of thinking, in turn makes people much more likely to stare or be taken aback by two men holding hands or affectionately hugging and especially kissing. This way of thinking can also be traced back to the way media portrays both men and women. Until recently, it was unheard of to have a gay man or lesbian be a lead character in a show. People are often apprehensive when it comes to any gay character in media. Gay men and women have been coming out publicly much more recently but rarely do you hear of a gay male athlete. It is because of the way sports have been portrayed in America that a gay man probably would not feel comfortable coming out. For some reason, people seem to think that every woman who plays a basketball or softball is automatically a lesbian. There does not seem to be uproar when a female athlete comes out because it seems to be almost imminent. Women who play sports are in turn manly while men who like to sing show tunes are feminine. I can not explain why this happens but it just seems to be true. People just seem to have an adverse response to a man who is gay because they automatically assume that gay means feminine or “sissy”. Sure, this may be true of some gay man but there are plenty of others who are just as masculine as the next straight man. I think the media and the way children are taught about gender roles really affects how lesbians and gay men are seen. There should not be a different response to either gay or lesbian just because people have grown up in an environment that teaches such strict gender roles. a
[Reply]
I think that most definitely, lesbians are more acceptable in society than gay men. I think the main reason for this is because of how men and women are portrayed within society; specifically within the media. The media, as we know it deals with exuding information and influences people by the mass by the use of television, newspapers, magazines, radio, and internet.
In television, especially in reality shows, women are portrayed as promiscuous and it is the norm for women to be somewhat sexual with each other. It is normal for women to express their love to other women and it is normal for women to say “I love you” to other women. Also in television, when it comes to reality shows, women kiss each other all the time.
In magazines like Cosmopolitan, heterosexual men have expressed many times in columns that their ultimate fantasy is a threesome consisting of them and two other females.
In radio, popular songs such as Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” tells the story of how she kissed a girl and she liked it and she also liked the taste of her cherry chap stick; she kissed a girl just to try it and she hopes he boyfriend doesn’t mind it. Songs like these are catchy, and have heavy rotation in the airwaves.
Looking at this situation from an AD/PR (advertisement and public relation) aspect, many advertisements display girl on girl action to sell their product; it could be anything from an alcoholic beverage to a flyer for a club or an event. Many people of advertising use this technique to sell and the sad thing is that it works, it seems like people like to see girl on girl action and prefer to see girl on girl instances instead of male on male.
Being in college, I have been in plenty of instances where I was at a party and girls would make out with each other just because they thought it was cool and that’s what they thought that they should do in order get attention in the quickest way possible.
It isn’t the same way for men though. Although gay men should be looked at as just the same as any heterosexual couple or a lesbian couple, they aren’t and I think that is because it isn’t broadcasted as much as lesbianism is. Gay men have been told for the longest to keep their gayness a secret; for example the law of don’t ask, don’t tell when it came to the military. Whenever something gay did come to surface in society and in the media, the majority of people felt offended and the situation became a controversy and many would speculate about it for example, the movie Brokeback Mountain.
Basically what I am trying to say is that all of this display of women to women contact within the media desensitizes people to lesbianism, and with that, they see lesbians as normal or not a big deal in contrast to gay men.
[Reply]
In my honest opinion I think that male to male sexual relationships are looked down upon because they are males. In this society we look to makes as protectors, hunters, gatherers, providers, they are the alpha male. By them engaging in male to male relationships, it causes society to look at them in disappointment. It also gives society a chance to challenge their masculinity. Female to female relationships are more accepted because they are girls. They aren’t looked at as being strong providers and protectors. Not saying that they shouldn’t be, but that’s just how society looks at it. Besides male on male relationships are less accepted because who wants to see two males kissing and feeling on each other? Society sees two women making out and feeling on each other as being “hot” and “sexy”, but when two men do it its just plain gross. Female to female relations are more commonly accepted because as females out feminist cannot be challenged. Becoming a lesbian or bisexual does not make females any less than a woman, however for males it makes you less than a man if you engage in relations with another male. Another reason why I think male on male relations are less accepted then female on female relationships is because it’s ok for a female to be unstable and unsure of their sexuality, they have the right to experiment and figure things out and won’t be judged on it, in fact most people encourage it. Whereas if a males was to experiment, it’s a sign of weakness and unstableness, and those are female traits. I believe that male on male and female on female relationships should be held to the same statute. No one relationship should be held higher than the other. Society has come a long way from not accepting it at all now their holding one relationship higher than the other when they should be held to the same statute. Either way any same sex relationship is wrong in the eyes of god. If a male on male relationships and a female on female relationship were both standing before god, he wouldn’t allow the females all access to heaven and send the men to hell. My point is that male on male relationships shouldn’t be looked down on just because their males, they are still very masculine providers who just so happen to have boyfriends. Their sexuality should not challenge their ability to provide and protect. I think the main reason why males on male relationships are looked down upon whereas female on female relationships aren’t, is because there is a higher risk of catching sexual transmitted diseases such as AIDS/HIV. Although AIDS/HIV is contracted through very numerous ways, people often look to the gay men as the main cause and spread of the disease.
[Reply]
Maybe I'm being really narrow minded about this, but I seriously believe that the higher, more widespread acceptance of lesbians versus gay men can be attributed greatly, if not totally, to female sexuality.
In my Psychology of Gender class (PSYCH 231,) we talk about the sexualization and objectification of women quite often. Women are often looked upon by the "dominant group-" heterosexual males ("White," specifically, is also in that category, but it seems less relevant in this case,) as sexual objects, existing solely for their use and/or pleasure in a sexual context. The female body is looked upon as sensuous and aesthetically pleasing. As a result, the idea of that times two, (or three or four if you want to get really naughty ;] ,) is considered a major turn-on for that dominant group. Basically what I'm trying to say is that lesbianism is probably more widely accepted just because a lot of people think its hot.
And what happens when the dominant group approves…..? Wide-spread acceptance. Often times, that ideology will trickle down and win over some of the those in the non-dominant group, too. Which leads to…… further wide-spread acceptance.
[Reply]
Prior to this class I had what I thought to be an “open mind” regarding homosexuality. I accept homosexuals as equals even though I do not fully understand homosexuality. I am in the military and I support homosexuals in the military. I am all for gay marriage. But I never understood why homosexuals are homosexuals. Honestly, I thought it was a choice. Sam’s class opened my eyes to a lot of things I never knew or understood.
Our American society is a society that claims freedom, but there are still a lot of restraints on those groups of people that are not part of the social norm. This is something that our nation experienced not too long ago during the civil rights movement. I truly believe that gay marriage and rights are our generation’s civil rights movement. When you look closely at the two, you realize that they are very similar. Both movements were about oppressed Americans that wanted to be equal in society. Probably years from now our society will be much different in terms of gay rights. Who knows maybe sometime in the future there will be an openly gay President? If you would have asked someone 50 years ago if there would ever be a black president, they probably would have laughed. But that is the beauty of America; for how ugly and horrible things can be, society will continue to change for the better. We are just a brief moment in time, and that is why we view things as bad at this moment.
When I listened to the question the woman gave on the camera, I thought about it form a guy perspective. Lesbians and lesbian sexuality is definitely more accepted in society than gay men. I answer this from a man’s perspective. There’s nothing more beautiful than two women together. I think it’s great, because I love women. I love everything about them. But if you were to show me two men together in a sexual situation, I would not be interested in that. This is because I am into women not men. I have no problem with gay men holding hands or kissing in public, but I am not into gay sexuality as I am into lesbian sexuality. Women are more accepted by society as lesbians, because men accept them due to the sexual taboo it brings.
I think a lot of it has to do with insecurities that men have. Men are very insecure about a lot of things, and they project it by acting out on something that may challenge that specific insecurity. For example, when I go the gym, I noticed that a lot of men are too afraid to shower in the locker room. People my age would rather get done in the gym wipe the sweat off, change and go to class. That’s pretty disgusting. I think it has a lot to do with insecurity. I am secure with myself and I shower there, but I notice that people get tense and more quickly out of my way when I walk through in a towel. It’s very funny, like I have a disease or something. What’s even funnier is the old guys who walk around the place but ass naked like it’s nothing, and that whole side of the locker room will not have a single young adult in it, because they are petrified that there are exposed pennises.
I don’t know, society is still very sensitive in terms of sex and sexuality. It will take some time to have society fully desensitized from this whole homophobe thing.
[Reply]
That is a very good question. I can only assume that lesbians are accepted more than gays because that almost seems more like the norm in society these days. Granted, being gay is socially accepted these days as in people recognize them as who they are and we are seeming to get a lot better at actually not judging and writing them off as much, but when it comes to girls, it seems like society – both men and women – find them acceptable and I believe the media has a lot to do with it. If you watch any movie, especially a teenage/college spoof movie, it always has some kind of girl-on-girl action. Hollywood knows that this stuff sells so they do that, and from there guys see it as being more acceptable because they see it a lot more often than any guy on guy action. Even when people are out at parties, a lot of the times girls actually dance with each other and act like they are grinding on each other but we all don't see that as being wrong in any way. In a lot of girls’ pictures there usually is some kind of action that could be considered lesbian but people really don’t view these as anything significant because we always think that most of the time they are joking, and even when they aren’t, they probably would even get more people to check them out because guys love that. And that is another reason why lesbians are more socially accepted because guys actually think that’s hot. I don’t know if I ever heard of any girl saying that guy-on-guy action was hot, and if they did, I must have missed the memo. People can probably think of more reasons why lesbians are accepted more than gays but it’ as I said, the media controls what is acceptable mostly in the United States, and lesbian action is a very popular theme at least in movies and TV shows. It goes deeper than that though when it comes to gays because even if Hollywood makes a big production with male gay actors (like Brokeback Mountain which people said was really good), it still doesn’t help make being gay openly more acceptable in people’s heads. Also, when two girls actually engage in some kind of lesbian action, people don’t really consider them as full blown lesbians but if guys did anything along those lines people would actually look at them differently and think that those guys actually had feelings for each other and were really gay. Whatever the reason, I think it’s mostly because of the media and the media’s impact on society that determines what is usually acceptable and what isn’t.
[Reply]
As a man, I think the reason that lesbians are more acceptable than gay men is because of the fact that men tend to voice their opinions to others more about things that they disagree with. I also think that without a doubt, men are much less accepting of gay men than they are lesbians. In fact, I think many men strongly support lesbian relations, whereas the idea of two men being intimate is probably close to the last thing that most straight men want to think about. I think that is the main reason that most people are accepting of lesbians and less accepting of gay men.
[Reply]