LGBT Class: Question Six

posted by Sam Richards

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253 Responses to LGBT Class: Question Six

  1. I agree with the girl’s statement about lesbians are more accepted than gay men. It is obvious in today’s culture that lesbians are not as frowned upon as two men being together. There are several reasons as to why I think this is so in today’s society.

    I believe one of the main reasons is because people are more used to seeing girls being touchy-feely with each other than guys. Everywhere you look there are girls who are hugging each other, have their arms around each other, holding hands, and so on…and they aren’t even lesbians. I feel that this is the case simply because girls are more comfortable showing affection to their same sex friends than guys are to their same sex friends. We have been used to seeing girls being affectionate with other girls ever since being little kids playing on the playground.

    Another reason that lesbians are more accepted than gays is because lesbians are seen in the media all the time. There are several movies out there that have lesbian scenes, yet there are very few movies that I can think of that have any gay scenes. There are also many advertisements on TV and in magazines that show some form of lesbianism to sell their product.

    People in society, especially guys, absolutely love to see girl-on-girl action. Because girls are well aware of this, some females will act lesbian even when they are far from actually being one just to get attention from guys at a bar or a party. I cannot even count the number of times I have seen girls making out with each other in front of guys for attention. Seeing girls making out does not even phase me anymore because it is just so common in college. I would probably have to guess that for every girl who makes out with one another at a bar or party, maybe only 20% of them are actually a lesbian couple or are lesbians.

    I can honestly say that if I were to see guys making out in public or even holding hands, I would be very surprised. It would definitely draw attention from me because I am not used to seeing guys being affectionate with each other like that at all. I have seen guy friends act like that, but simply to make fun of gay guys.

    I feel that guys do not act affectionate with each other the way girls do is because ever since a young age, they have been taught that it is wrong to be touchy-feely with another guy. The idea of it being wrong has stuck with them throughout the years, and they are scared to show any form of affection to another guy in fear of being judged or people getting the wrong idea about them.

    Maybe over the years gays can become just as accepted as lesbians. In order for this to happen, men being affectionate with each other needs to be shown more in the media and let it be known that it is ok for guys to show love and appreciation for their male friends.

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  2. jim5049 says:

    I’ll tell you why. It’s because you live in a society dominated by men who are heterosexual. So that’s kind of a two pronged spear right there. Heterosexual men look down upon gay men. That part is pretty simple, and that’s why gay men are not generally accepted. As for homosexual women, I think heterosexual men just think it’s attractive in some ways. Think about it – if you think girls are attractive, you probably enjoy seeing them during sexual acts. Throw two girls into the mix, and you’ve got double what one girl can give you. I’m a guy, and I think watching girls make out is great.

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  3. sdk173 says:

    I will start up by saying that was a thoughtful question. With that said, I ready do not understand why it is okay to judge one on their sexual choice. Everyone should be free to choose whoever they want to be with or how they want to live their life regardless. I am a Christian and I know that the bible says that God created women for men and it is a sin for one to have a relationship or sexually activities with the same sex. However, it is the same bible that said we should love our neighbors as you love yourself. Also, the bible said that at the end of the world, there will be judgment day and he will judge us. Therefore, if you decide to hate someone because of their sexual choice because the bible says it's wrong, you are sinning also because the bible said that we shouldn’t judge people. With that said, for those of us who are not Christians or religious and are being hateful, harmful and discriminating against Gay and lesbian people, are ignorant, selfish and are disgraces to the human race.

    I agree that gay men are more hated on than lesbian females in society. I believe one reason for this is the role of men in society. Society has high expectations for men than women. Men are expected to be powerful, stronger and leaders. Therefore, it is most accepted for a female to behave certain ways than man. Another reason is most straight men are attracted in having two females in bed than women are attracted in having two males in bed. Most straight men view two women having sex as the most fun, exciting and pleasurable moment. Another reason why lesbians are more accepted than gay men is because of the media. Most television shows and other entertaining programs make viewer believe that it is okay to be lesbian (two girls kissing, or having oral sex). For example, shows like Girls Gone Wild, and HBO. I don’t understand why it is okay for girls to have sexual activities with another girl but it is not okay for a guy to have sexual activities with another guy. Society need to realize that everyone is not the same. We made all be human but we choose to follow different paths in life. Also sin is sin regardless of the content. Lying is a sin, just as stealing is a sin, and fornicating is a sin. Therefore, we should allow God to judge us and stop being so judgmental to gay or lesbian people. Allow them to live their lives as they want and stop being so hateful and ignorant to them!

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  4. jholzberg8 says:

    Some of the writers above me seem to be generalizing too much. There is a different between two drunk college girls hooking up with each other in a bar to gain attention of guys around them, and actually being a lesbian. Drunk girls hooking up with each other to get free drinks or be seen as “hot” is not the same thing as a girl genuinely having romantic feelings for another girl. One of the writer’s said lesbians are more “natural” than gay men. I don’t understand how one situation with one sex is more natural than another. If any two people are in love with each other and want to be a couple, I don’t know where anyone else comes off saying that is natural or not.

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  5. BiancaG says:

    I think that lesbian relationships are more accepted because some people, both male and female find it sensual to see two females in an act whether it be kissing or being intimate. I don’t know what it is, but there is just something about women that give off this aura of sexy to men and women when they see two women getting physical. While on the other hand when people see to men in the act there is nothing sexy or inticing about it. To see two men is considered vey nasty and wrong, and anyone, from males to females find it to be very disturbing on all accounts. I guess maybe its the thought of what the men do togther why it is sometimes more unaccepted, because the way that they have to be intimate is considered disturbing, even to people in a heterosexual relationship when it is brought up.

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  6. BiancaG says:

    Me personally I have nothing against gay men or lesbians, I have males friends who have chosen to be gay and I also have female friends who have chosen to be lesbians or bi-sexuals. Even though I sometimes would prefer not to have to hear the stories that the males want to tell, I listen and I am very accepting of them. Just because they choose to live the life the way they do that does not mean that I am going to love or treat them any differently than I did before they became that way. I actually want a very gay and flamboyant male friend, beause they are so cool and can dress, and are overall very entertaining with the things that they do and the way that they act. To me once they have taken that step to come out of the closet and live life how they want to, they are the best that they can be.
    The same things go for my female friends who choose to live as lesbians or bi-sexuals, I probably don’t mind listening to their stories as much because it doesn’t disturb me as much, but I listen and I accept and treat them the same way I always have.

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  7. BiancaG says:

    I might have been a little more close minded about the situation before I came to college, because I didn’t have as many friends who chose that kind of lifestyle, but once I got to college and found out that the people who I had been hanging out were attracted to the same sex, I really had no choice but to accept them. I wasn’t goig to stop being their friend because of it, long as they didn’t do anything to offend me, I was all for them living their life the way that made them happy.

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  8. sstiles623 says:

    When I first heard we were going to have a class on LGBT issues I was intrigued. It is not every day I get to sit in on a class and have a discussion on controversial life issues such as gay marriage, adoptions, and other things of that sort. I was really trying to take this as a learning opportunity and get as much from it as possible. It raised many questions in my discussion group about how gays are perceived and the main question of the day was this one, why are lesbians more accepted in society versus gay men?

    I think one of the biggest reasons for lesbians to be more accepted is the pure fact that they are female. In society we have the double standard with men and women. It is ok for a guy to get a lot of girls, but if a girl gets around then she is a slut, even though she was acting the same was as the male in regards to relationships. It seems to be ok for a female to be a lesbian but a male is just looked at differently. It may be because females are naturally more emotional and more loving publicly. Males have this image per say that society generally says they have to live up to. They need to be strong and tough and show no emotion or that would be a big sign of weakness. When you see two lesbians it may just seem more natural, but for the males it just does not seem to make sense with societies perceptions on gender roles.

    Another big part I think of why lesbians are more accepted is because I think it is generally harder to tell if they are actually lesbians. Girls naturally are more touchy feely. They link arms with other women as they walk down streets and they hug much more often to say hello, goodbye, or I am here for you. Now if you see males linking arms down the street it just looks more out of place and people will notice it more. The truth of the matter may be that we do not recognize lesbians as lesbians but just as close friends. So therefore it almost seems like they are being accepted, when actually the acceptance rate of lesbians and gays may be pretty much the same.

    Finally I think another reason why lesbians could be more accepted is because guys are known to love some girl on girl action. The porn industry definitely plays upon the male fantasy of females hooking up with each other. You never really see females egging on males to hook up with each other like males do. Because males seem ok with females hooking up society may feel more comfortable with lesbians because it is almost more common. One way or another both groups still have a long way to go in getting accepted no matter if you are a lesbian or gay. I am glad we ended up having a class on this because it was a nice change from the same old topic lectures over and over, and it sparked many questions from students as well.

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  9. oldslugger11 says:

    It’s a fact that lesbian couples are more accepted than gay men couples within our society. This can be credited towards so many different things and I don’t know who would be the person to actually say one is more of a reason than the other. A big reason is the way men in our society are okay with lesbian sex, and sometimes turned on by it. On the other hand they don’t have the same feelings for gay men; instead they are turned off by it. Now look at that and think of the large voice men have in our society. Another reason could be that females are generally more accepting of female homosexuals than men are of male homosexuals. Just these two reasons show a big reason of why lesbians are more accepted than gays. A more thorough investigation would prove more reasons that show this odd situation.

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  10. ghokies17 says:

    The question, why are lesbians more accepted than gay men is a great one. I am not sure I know the exact answer, but I do have a few ideas. Before regarding the question I wanted to react on Sam’s LGBT class.
    After sitting in on Sam’s class I completely agree with him that gay and lesbian marriage should be allowed. He made a very compelling argument of how and why gay people should be more accepted by society. Homosexuals are no different than straight people when you first meet them. The main difference I found between straight and gay people is their preferences. Since when do people who prefer one thing over another and become ridiculed and hated by society. I also appreciated the statistic that showed how many corporations are fully accepting of gay people. This shows the United States is taking another step in the right direction and trying to become a better place for all people. Sam made great points and really helped me realize how gay people are no different than anyone else.
    Now going back to the question on why lesbians are more accepted in society than gay men. I believe the main reason for this is because America is a male dominated society. Men have the image of being strong and powerful. This is the complete opposite of how gay men are viewed by society. The stereotype for a gay man is flamboyant, fairy, emotional, and in a sense “girly”. These stereotypes bring down how men want to be viewed and therefore many are neglected by straight guys. Going along with that men are usually more unemotional and harsher than women. With this in mind if men are against homosexuals they are more willing to speak up and tell their true feelings. Women on the other hand are more comforting to each other and do not want as much confrontation. Women are also more sexual in general than men. For a woman to show feelings of love toward anything is not as noticeable as if a man shows his true feelings toward something. Therefore for a woman to love another woman does not look the same to everyone.
    Women and men are very different emotionally. I believe emotions and image is the main reason lesbians and gay men have different feelings toward them. Gay men must deal with the problem that they are “supposed” to be strong and powerful. Women are seen as sexual and loving already so lesbians are not going against any stereotypes that exist about them. Lesbians and gay men should not be looked at differently by society. Gay men and lesbians are no different than straight people besides their preferences and therefore should be accepted by society.

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  11. akeem10 says:

    We all know that Lesbians are way more accepted than Gay men. The main reason why it is more accepted is because women are more acceptable towards sexual encounters. I mean, what man in his right stage of mind would not want to see two women engaging in a sexual encounter. Gay men on the other hand are not usually accepted because of what is expected from a "man". Gay men are considered a taboo because society believe they are going against everything that a real "man" should stand for. They do the same thing almost as straight man but the fact that they are more into their feminine side makes is a taboo issue for the society. Lesbians on the other hand are more similar to a typical women because they are still affectionate people.
    Another reason why Lesbian are more acceptable than Gay Men in today's society is because of the difference between how a male and a female were raised in the society. Females, from a very young age have been thought to express their feelings physically, show their emotions, such as crying in public. A male on the other hand has been thought to be tough and hide any emotions that shows our female side. It is not okay for a young male to cry in public because people will view him as a "cry baby" or "weak boy". This have definitely affected how gay men and lesbian have been portrayed in today's society. Females have been more acceptable because they usually "come out of the closet" at an earlier age. Females were not taught to hide their feelings, so it is easier to see from an early age that they will end up being a Lesbian. Males on the other hand, have been used to hiding their real emotions their whole life to seem more manly, so it will be difficult for a male to "come out of the closet" because of the burden the society have put on a male.
    The media and population might also have an effect on why Lesbians are more accepted that gay people. As we all probably know, vast amount of the population is dominated by females. This might be a reason why Lesbians are more acceptable because its way more females than there is males. Males however, have more than enough women to make their choices from and being a gay men make the society more complicated. The media also plays a role in the acceptance of Lesbians compared to Gay men. The Media always have commercial with two women living an ultimate life. And shows such as Ellen DeGeneres will give an advantage to Lesbians. How many commercials and you seen with two man holding each other in a sexual way? LGBT issue is becoming less of an issue in United States but it is harder for gay men for be accepted, even in today's society.

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  12. MikeFrancis says:

    Why are lesbian women more accepted than gay men? That is a question that has gone through my head several times. Going through discussion groups in the past, this is what I have come to believe the reason for this is. It goes way back to your time as a child, out on the playground and interacting with other children, it is the conditioning we go through as children that mold our minds and thought patterns to believe what we do. Growing up boys are supposed to play with G.I. Joes and god forbid they want to play with Barbies but when a little girl wants to play with G.I. Joe that's alright. Yea that might be considered a little more "tom boyish" but they're just kids playing right? It even goes back to the parents conditioning, if a father was to watch his son stray from the stereotypical boy way of play he tends to have a problem with that, intervening quickly to set his son on the "right" path. If his daughter wants to do the boyish things I think they'd be more receptive to that.

    It is all an inner fear men have that I feel is passed down to them from previous generations. I can't say what is right and what is wrong, I know how I would raise my children is going to be totally different than the way my roommates raise their children and that is what makes our world amazing; no one person is the same as another. So I would say it goes back to your time on the playgrounds.

    The conditioning doesn't stop there however, you grow up watching TV which is geared to make individuals thing a certain way, believe certain things. It is up to an individual to stop relying on others to tell them what they think and take a moment and think for themselves. Think it through why don't you, sure you may have a hard time with it at first because of years of conditioning present in your life but ask yourself this, "Why is it "ok" for this group and not for this group of people?" I think you'll have a hard time coming up with a concrete reason for it to be ok for females to be homosexual and not men. The only reason I could see someone bringing out against homosexuality is their religion but if that is your reason you shouldn't be making exceptions for one side or the other. Is there anything that can be done to balance out the playing field for our homosexual friends? It'll be rough but it has to start somewhere, I feel as though there shouldn't be one homosexual couple accepted in society if the couple right next to them won't be accepted. I feel like it should be all or nothing and I suppose my vote would be for the all. There is no reason why it shouldn't be that way, what one couple does behind their closed door should not have anything to do with you, so let them be as they are.

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  13. Gwillakers says:

    To me i don't feel that there should be more discrimination toward gay men than women. First of all i don't believe there should be any discrimination towards gay's period. Everyone is allowed to live their life how they choose, it is our right to do so. We as society need to learn how to accept these things and embrace people for who they are. Everyone is a person and should be treated fairly. No one can choose what they are attracted to its all instincts so don not discriminate people for something that they dont have control over. Everyone should love everyone for who they are no matter what gender they are attracted to.

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  14. TheSituation says:

    Lesbians are definitely more accepted than gay may, there is no way anyone could argue otherwise. I personally accept both lesbians and gays for who they are and don’t judge either for their sexual orientation. I personally think that lesbians are accepted more than gays strictly because of the sexual appeal society gives them. As Sam stated in class the majority of porn stars (a female dominated industry) do a girl on girl scene at least once in their career. From a young age straight males are led to believe that two hot girls making out is a turn on, but don’t realize that actual lesbians are not always two hot girls.

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  15. juicebox08 says:

    Homosexuality is something that our culture has been growing with over the past years. Today I feel like gays and lesbians are becoming more intertwined in our culture rather then them being looked at harshly and judged. I don’t know if I necessary think lesbians are more accepted then gays though for myself. I kind of feel like me being a women, that I lean toward accepting gays more then lesbian. I mean I have no problem with either but I just feel it’s sometimes easier. I say this because I think the fact that me being a woman who likes men, its different for me to see women with women when I don’t necessarily see that for myself. Not being a man, I see no problem with guy and guy relationships. I also though feel like society in a whole is really opening up to gays and lesbians. I mean Ellen Degeneres is an openly gay woman who one of the most successful talk show hosts besides Oprah. She is extremely popular and has a large fan base from young girls to even men. Also on television there are many gay actors/actresses and there was also the ever-popular show Queen Eye for the Straight guy. I think sometimes people might believe that lesbians are more accepted because of the fact that men might be harsher to other men. Men like to be more “macho” in the sense. While women can be more accepting to lesbians and gays, while men have a harder time opening up with their sexuality. Also men seem to have this weird obsession with girl on girl action. Being in college I have walked into men boys dorms or apartments and have seen the two girls kissing poster. I have yet to see a picture of two boys kissing in any girl’s room or apartment I have been too. I believe also though that many people just are not open about their sexuality at all. Everyone is so scared about what others will think like their parents, friends, and family. Although I know that I am straight I feel like I too would have a very difficult time with wondering if people will accept me. That is why I don’t feel like it is right to judge someone because they like men or women more. It’s a matter that they are people, they are human, and they have rights and feelings just like you. I think it is terrible that people can criticize and harass people for something that I feel is out of their control. People always say to each other you can’t control whom you fall in love with and with that you can’t control if it’s a boy or a girl.

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  16. courtt912 says:

    I think the reason why lesbians are more accepting of their sexuality than gay men is because they are more open about things and like we talked about in class, for example, pornographic movies show women being more natural about themselves. Both sexes watch them but don't see anything wrong, but when it comes to two guys, people are either disgusted or just not interested in watching it? I think guys are just more insecure about coming out of the closet because they don't know what other people such as their friends and family will think of them. That's a good question though as to why women are more comfortable with being gay. I just think that women are more in tact with their bodies/ self that they think both men and women wouldn't find lesbians being odd. If that's who you are then let it be. I don't think that people should look at gay men in a different way because male or female, we're both human. It's not like same sex relationships don't exist throughout the world, they're people like everyone else who were either born with the gay gene or just inhabit it as they grow up when they come in to tact with their emotion feelings.

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  17. I think that lesbian couples are definitely accepted more than gay couples by the majority of people. Lesbian couples are seen as attractive to most men because they like the whole " girl on girl" aspect of it. As opposed to gay couples who most men would find wrong and not right. This is due to a good population of guys having to live up to their machismo with the mindset that guys should only be with females. I'm not sure what females thoughts about gay men couples are but I am almost certain they are not getting turned on by thinking of it as "guy on guy." Another thing that I think makes lesbian couples more accepted is the era that we currently live in. Or at least the college part of life. When girls are drinking at parties they like to kiss their girlfriends or just other girls in general. Part of it is probably the whole experimenting in college aspect while the other influence comes from guys liking to watch it and guys usually cheer on that sort of behavior. I have never been at a party where the roles were reversed and girls were trying to get guys to kiss each other. That is just my view on it though, which may or may not be right to others. However, I do think that gay and lesbian couples are more accepted as whole in this day in time. I also think that approval of these couples will only increase as time goes on. A couple years ago the idea of gay and lesbian couples was not as accepted as it is now because it was something that was kind of unseen by people. And we can already see how the acceptance levels have gone up significantly since then which is why I believe they will continue to grow as a result of more maturity on the topic from the public. So I hope that eventually everyone will accept gay and lesbian couples and that every state will allow gay marriages just as they allow heterosexual marriage.

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  18. shawndawn says:

    Why are gay women more accepted then gay men? You have to remember that our world is looked upon as a man's world, and men don't accept gay men most of the time. So by understanding that you should have a general idea of why lesbians seem to be more accepted in that area of sexual orientation. Men tend to sometime or most of the time enjoy watching female on female love scenes. So to see two pretty women making love is entertainment. But I can't say all female gays are accepted because many lesbians that are more than just a pretty girl love scene between 2 women are being unaccepted just like males who are gay.

    To many men it seems to be unnatural to see a gay man on a sports team. Stereotypically gay men are not big strong football players or a big tall basketball players or tough hockey players. They are often thought of as figure skaters or ballerinas. So the publlic has no concept of gays being involved in mainstream sports. Sterotypical views are that they dont belong in a locker room. On the other hand it is less of a shock for women sports like lady basketball and softball to have lesbians. In the sports world is more accepting to be a lesbian to be a gay male.

    Their is at least one industry were gay men are accepted , the fashion and beauty industry. Shows like queer eye for the straight gay are very popular and kind of doing something positive with the stereotype that gay men are cleaner and dress better than a straight guy. In hollywood gay men are accepted in sitcoms and movies and all around the media. More and more we see gay actors coming out of the closet and being embraced for who they are. For example, T.R. Knight from Greys anatomy and Adam Lambert from American Idol.

    Certain industries and certain places are more accepting of homosexuality than others. As a whole it may be easier to be a lesbian than gay man, but it is still not easy to be attracted to the same gender. Society has a long way to go before your sexual orientation is accepted whether you are a male or female.

    In my opinion about LGBT issues- do your thing and don't worry about others opinions , its not that simple but you are the one who has to look at yourself in the mirror each day and ask yourself "who am I?"

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  19. I feel that our society accepts lesbians more so than gays for a multitude of reasons.

    Let's face it, unless they're ridiculously beat, lesbian encounters are the culmination of two beautiful beings. Chick's bodies are generally beautiful and shapely, whereas dude's bodies, unless you are me, are generally disproportionate, lanky and pudgy. In general, the male reproductive organ is pretty odd looking, as if it were developed by God as an afterthought. Therefore, I can understand why people generally are less accepting of gays. No one really wants to see those things gettin’ together. Personally, I don’t care either way, just don’t put it in front of my face, except for the hot lesbians…they can stay.

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  20. BDirlam13 says:

    I believe that there are a variety of reasons why lesbians are more accepted than gays in the today’s world, and that you can place a little bit of the blame on everyone. Stereotypes play a huge role in how people view gay and lesbian couples. Many people view lesbian couples as those attractive blonde bombshells that make out with each other. Gay couples on the other hand are viewed as very feministic men that wear tight pants and worry way too much about their hair. While these characteristics fit some gay and lesbian couples, the majority of couples are not like this at all. Pornographic websites and the seductiveness of women cause people to accept lesbians more than they would a gay couple. Women are very seductive and they know this. They can get whatever they want if they flirt and use their bodies the right way. There are many examples of how this happens. At parties all a girl has to do is lower her shirt a little, kiss another girl, or even wink at someone to get alcohol. In my discussion group and during my experiences I have heard girls say that they go to bars and try to get men to buy alcohol for them. Another example occurs in the policing system as well. I have heard countless stories of women getting out of traffic tickets because they either cried or flirted with the officer. Like I previous stated, women know that they are attractive and they can get men to do many things for them. I am not saying do not taking advantage of flirting with people to get what they want, but they do not have as many chances that women do. This is one of the reasons that lesbians are accepted more than gays. Men are attracted to women and lesbians are usually a thing that men enjoy watching. Even if a lesbian couple may not be deemed “attractive”, people may not view them as outcasts because women are affectionate and often have girls around them when they are sad or need help. This is not ordinary for men, many people view that men are supposed to be tough. If they are not tough and go to other men for comfort than they are straying from what many people call the norm. I do not agree with any of this. I believe that gay and lesbian couples should be allowed to be together. On Tuesday we discussed how people don’t like gay people to flaunt their “gayness” and I agree with that, but I also agree that straight people shouldn’t flaunt their relationships either. I do not like seeing people making out in public no matter their orientation.

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  21. Whether we like it or not, a lot of the media and messages out there are primarily male driven. In response to this question, why are lesbians more accepted than gay men, we have to take into account the fact that men are the ones primarily accepting lesbians more than gay men. I can say, as a woman, that I have not met very many other women who are opposed to gay love of either men or women. They’re either opposed to both equally, or neither equally as well. But men are different. I’m not sure if this has to do with the masculine, macho persona the men in society have to live up to, but I definitely believe it is part of it. The gay male stereotype is a man that has a high voice, dresses feminine, and has very feminine characteristics in conversation and habits. Men who are not gay, have no way to describe or make amends for the fact that a subsection of their male population is actually more feminine than masculine. So, they put a prejudice on and stigmatize these types of men because of their lifestyle (which they believe is backwards from their typical male lifestyle) and the fact that they have sexual relations with other men. This attitude of repulsion on the part of men has shaped the bad attitudes that people have of gay men today.

    But, then there are lesbians. The macho, masculine lifestyle loves women! No matter what, that’s what they believe is right. So, watching two women make out, is no problem to them. They see it as fine because it’s two women, the objects of their desires and satisfaction, just living together like friends. I feel like the way that men view lesbians is more as best friends living in a college dorm room together. If sexual relation is involved, males find this as a turn-on for their pleasure because they see themselves asserting their manhood into the lesbian’s life for not only their enjoyment, but the lesbian’s enjoyment as well. Unfortunately, I think men only see lesbians as the horny college girls who make-out for the male’s attention, instead of the reality which is two women who love each other and do not need a man in their lives.

    Also, the mass media focuses more on gay men when the issue of gay love is brought up. Whenever you see pictures of a kiss out or a video of a gay pride rally, you usually see the men as front and center instead of the women. This could be due to the fact that gay men are seen as more controversial than gay women or it could be because people are more appalled by the image of two gay men than they are with an image of two gay women. The main spokespeople that do come forward and are more flamboyant and rambunctious with their struggles of being gay, is mostly men. For some reason, people find two gay men kissing or making out as more perverse than two women. If it is two women, it is then seen as being hot.

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  22. debateordie says:

    That's a very question and I have been wondering about the same thing for a while now. Like Sam did in class he showed how two women holding hands down wouldn't get as much attention as two men who would've been doing the same thing. The reason I think why men get looked at wrong is because they are supposedly programmed to be "tough" or act a certain way and like SB32 stated sports and women are "supposed" to be what all men like and when you see a male who is a completely normal person but just like members of the same sex everyone starts to flip out. But on the other hand women are supposed to be "affectionate" and if a random person were to see two women holding each other on the street they would most likely think that they are good friends. If I were to have a lesbian or gay friend it would be easy to witness who would be more accepted first hand. I feel like the media makes it harder for young men to come out of the closet because they I truly feel like they are viewed in a negative sense. There are also many more men who have come out then women and I believe why there is more of a negative depiction of men between the two.
    Based off someone else's comment I read not to long ago I feel that a lesbian couple is far more attractive then a gay couple because a single man would obviously find that very attractive while a single women might not feel the same way. A straight female would probably not find a two men together being very appealing. Me being a straight male I also believe that a man who isn't gay would feel very uncomfortable around one who is because the straight man thinks that homosexual men would try to hit on them and try to get with him and it goes the same for women. That is probably the main you would see a straight female with a group of gay men because she would trust them more then a random straight man for obvious reasons. But I don't believe that is the case because when you see a man talking to a girl it doesn't always mean that he is trying to get with her because he might just be trying to start a conversation or be nice. I just feel like it is a big misunderstanding at times because a heterosexual man or women instantly feels very uncomfortable when approached by a person of the same sex.
    I just feel like gay men are never going to be accepted and its very sad since they are people just like you and me.

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  23. bwp5047 says:

    I believe that lesbians are more accepted in society because of how they are portrayed in the media. Many lesbians are viewed as young and attractive women. Guys are "turned on" by women engaging in sexual activities together. It is unfortunate that this is the reason why lesbians are accepted by these men. Real lesbian couples can be any type of women who are attracted to each other. A lot of the media glamourizes these couples for all of the wrong reasons. I think that guys accept lesbians and women accept gay men. They are more comfortable with people of the opposite sex who are open about their sexuality. It is interesting how the media can sway people's points of views toward sexuality. Personally, gay and lesbian couples do not bother me at all. I think a person is allowed to love or be sexually active with any person regardless of sex. No one should be offended or disturbed by these couples because as Sam said, they are not harming anybody. Just because these people are not the common couples you always see does not mean that they should not be accepted in the society. It is unfortunate that gay men are not as accepted in society, however I feel like times are changing and gay people are more accepted. However, that is in more urban areas than across the country. For instance, as Sam stated in class more corporations are open to gay people, but that is usually in bigger cities. Also, in the new TV show, Modern Family, two of the main characters are gay. We are beginning to see these people in everyday instances. Although gay couples have to deal with a lot of discrimination and problems by homophobic people, I truly believe times are changing. Gay people are widely accepted into society today and I hope that one day we can all live cohesively. In the end, this issue relates directly back to the issue between whites and blacks. Just because someone is against the "norm" does not mean that they should not be accepted into society. Hopefully, our world is moving forward rather than going a few steps backwards.

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  24. yoo5010 says:

    First off, I think this is a great question to ask, and I think it is very pertinent to what we were talking about in class. I think that lesbians are more accepted in America because women are more open and comfortable about their sexuality. For instance at a party or something, girls will go to the bathroom together. This is something that baffles men and is something we may never understand. Although straight men may shower together in a communal shower, it is still not something we are completely comfortable with nor do we want to take a step forward to share a bathroom. Women have no problem changing in front of each other, and in my opinion, I think women do as many things as they can do to show their comfortableness with their sexuality. You will never see a guy get naked in front of his friends, and everyone just nonchalantly goes on with what they were doing. So I think that women are more comfortable with lesbianism because they are comfortable with their sexuality. Men on the other hand are engulfed by the thought of two hot girls hooking up, so they accept lesbianism and lesbian acts a lot more than they would gay men.
    I do believe that homosexuality is a subject that is a bigger deal than it is in many other countries. I think in a lot of the European countries, the tables are turned about genders and their comfortableness with their sexuality. For instance, every time I go to Israel, I notice that men are a lot more comfortable with their sexuality than women are. Women would never go to a bathroom together (although men wouldn’t either), and men are a lot more comfortable with seeing other men with little or no clothing. Also, when men greet each other, even if they are not really friends, they greet with a kiss on each cheek. In America, unless it is a relative, you will rarely ever see two straight men greet each other with kisses on the cheek. I think in other countries, people have become so comfortable with their sexuality that homosexuality in general is more accepted in other countries than it is in America. Lesbianism is something that I feel is less frequent in other countries than it is in America, but it is accepted just as much as gay men are.

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  25. kao87 says:

    I think a huge part of the reason that lesbians may be more accepted is due to many males fascination with lesbians and the fact that they think it is hot. I think that many more lesbians have come out compared to gay men. That may or may not have something to do with them feeling more accepted and gay men not feeling as accepted in society, but I think that women are more comfortable taking on that identity. I think that if we are to say that we fully accept the LGBT community, we can not make one group feel more accepted than another.

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  26. rmz5019 says:

    After reading a few responses i personally think that there are two extremes where some people will be offended by either same sex groupings, those that are 'ok with one, or those that are not offended by any. I see it as more of the people fall within the grouping that are 'ok' with a same sex coupling. I think its because some people see it as natural like guys seeing girls as objects of affection and seeing two girls together is hot. but is turned away by a gay couple because its not what they personally like. It seems the opposite for the female group where gays are 'ok' but some lesbian couples are not. I think there is a exponential amount of people within the other two categories usually persuaded by outside opinions based on judgements of someone else instead of thinking for themselves. But as I see it everyone likes certain things and when one guy finds a girl, he's lucky, and when one guy finds 2 girls its called a "jackpot".

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  27. swimmer87 says:

    This is a really interesting question that I don’t think too many people have really thought about before. But hopefully, it will change some people’s views of the issues that gays and lesbians have to deal with. It seems pretty evident that when we think of the word gay and we immediately think of two men together and that they get criticized the most. I definitely agree that gay men are less accepted than lesbians. This is very unfortunate because we are not only being ignorant about the sexuality of two females, but we are just being critical in general. Gays and lesbians should have equal rights, whether that be legal, or social.
    I do think that these stereotypes come from the assumed roles of men and women in society. Men have historically been characterized as being macho and full of testosterone, and those who are against homosexuality may feel that they are not fulfilling their macho roles by being with another man. And women are traditionally characterized as being nurturing and caring to everyone, so when two women are seen together, it does not raise eyebrows as much. Also, society and its activities have influenced this view. Straight men usually are vocal about getting turned on by lesbians being intimate with each other, and usually women are not as vocal or say that they get turned on by two men together. However, I feel that straight women are more public about being openly affectionate toward other women, for instance, they will kiss each other just for fun. It is just how society is these days, whether it is right or wrong.
    This issue hits close to home with me because my roommate and one of my best friends is a gay male. He does not talk too much about his issues as a gay male, but he has touched on the fact that lesbians are far more accepted than gay males. He was saying that when you walk down the street and see two women holding hands, many people don’t even think or look twice to criticized. They could be lovers, or just best friends holding hands. However, my roommate knows that if he were to hold hands with a guy out in public, or show any affection in public whatsoever to another male, that the eyes would definitely be on them, and that they would be criticized or make others feel uncomfortable. He is disappointed by this fact, but he is not certain that this issue will go away anytime soon. The social norms between men and woman are just too ingrained in our minds, and will be tough to erode away.
    It is not fair that gays and lesbians are not being treated equally. Hopefully this class will make people more aware that they deserve to be treated a lot better than they currently are.

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  28. I think the acceptance rate of lesbians vs. gay men is a very interesting subject. I think that today it is more difficult to tell the gay people from those that are straight. I mean if you see two guys holding hands that might be a sign they are more then just friends. However, for girls I think that it is very difficult to tell which are lesbians and which aren’t. Women are just more affectionate towards other people and they are comfortable being loving in public as well. My friends and I always walk linking arms and sometimes holding hands. We say I love you when we get off the phone and kiss cheeks when we say goodbye, but none of us are lesbians. With straight girls acting like that how could you pick out the couples that are actually couples?

    I think there is a difference in who notices the gay couples as well. I feel like most women are not as phased by two men holding hands as guys would. They are supposed to be masculine and tough and supporting that could make other people view them as “gay”. I know that I have plenty of gay friends and being around them and their partner is not weird at all. They act just as normal as any couple and are some of the greatest friends.

    As far as lesbian couples go, it makes me think how people would react differently about them if they looked how they wanted. What I mean is that many people think of lesbians as boyish and “dikes”. But what about all the girls that are gorgeous and sexually appealing to men, like Tila Tequila or girls they watch on porn. They are okay with them being lesbians so why is it not okay for it to be two normal girls? Because they aren’t hot enough? And why wasn't everyone freaking out when MTV aired a show about lesbians. Is it okay for the famous people to be out and gay but not someone like you or me?

    So I guess I am stuck on why people get so hung up on people being gay and how wrong it is. Everyone should have the chance to be in love and it shouldn’t matter who that other person is. We need to give up on saying how being gay is so wrong. If its what they feel is right then who are you to challenge that. If you were in their situation you would want support as well.

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  29. ant5061 says:

    I definitely agree with this post that lesbians are overall more accepted than gay men. I never really gave much thought as to why this was until now. I think gay couples as a whole, especially lesbians, are receiving a little less criticism now then they use to receive from society. However, there is an obvious difference between how society perceives gay men in a relationship and how they perceive lesbians in a relationship. I think there are quite a few reasons why a lesbian couple is more easily accepted than a gay couple. I honestly think a big reason why people are more likely to accept a lesbian couple is because women are seen as the nurturing, caring, compassionate, and loving individuals in society. Men have received the macho man and man of the house stereotype for the past how many decades. This could be a big part of why when two gay men walk down the street they receive a much different reaction than if it were two lesbians walking down the street. Men were and still are perceived as the ones who are suppose to protect their wives and family. Society probably questions how that is possible when they are with another man. It is not new news either that people tend to want to see females being affectionate to each other more than they want to see males being that way towards one another. From what I have seen, males get so turned on when two females decide to kiss and people automatically know that just because two females kiss or hold hands doesn't mean that they are lesbians. However, it would be the complete opposite if someone saw two guys kiss. People automatically assume that if two guys hold hands or kiss they are gay without a doubt. Once again, I think this goes back to the stereotypes that both females and males have received throughout the past several decades. It wouldn't follow the typical male stereotype to see a man holding another man's hand, but it's perfectly normal to see females hold holds or even kiss sometimes. Honestly, I think society will continue to accept lesbians more than males at least for a while. Until people start to change their opinions and ideas of gay couples, I think gay men especially will continue to be looked at differently. Many people base their opinions of lesbians and gay men off of what they have been raised to believe through their parents and through their religion. It's never easy to change the beliefs that someone has been raised upon especially the beliefs that are part of ones religion. That is why I don't see society changing their opinion and views on gay couples any time soon.

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  30. accendere23 says:

    It seems to me that your question is addressing the difference between the sexual aspect and the emotional aspect. I do not think that lesbians are more accepted by society than gay men. I think what you meant to ask is why two girls having sex is seen as less unnatural than two guys having sex. Like Sam said in class, there is a difference between having sex with someone and being in love with someone. The act of sex is to satisfy physical needs, and if you look at it from a chemical and hormonal perspective, it really does not matter who the sex is with as long as those needs are fulfilled. Hormones are blind to gender.

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  31. jontroy88 says:

    I think lesbians are more accepting than gay men because I feel that women in general are more comfortable with their sexuality. They express themselves more and are accustomed, from what I have seen, to more touchy feely expressions such has hugs and kisses with each other. I see more straight women hug and kiss their same sex friends while the men do not. Men are under this stereotype where they cannot show emotion because that will be too feminine on their part. They have to be the strong one and be the “manly” man. Men’s ego is always at stake and they can never show any weakness to anyone and by showing a feminine and sensitive side, they are vulnerable for scrutiny.

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  32. jontroy88 says:

    Men are very accepting of lesbians because they turn them on. They accept it because they want to see two girls kiss or do any other sexual activity. For men, they are still not very comfortable seeing two guys hold hands let alone kiss. For women, I think they are more accepting of lesbians because they are more caring of emotions and when they talk about gays and lesbians, they are more comfortable when they discuss these topics. Men, on the other hand try to avoid these conversations so that their guy friends do not question their own sexuality and because they are not yet comfortable with the notion of two men having sex.

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  33. I don’t necessarily agree with the majority of comments stating that lesbian females are more accepted into society. I feel that what the term lesbian calls to mind is a pornographic image of two straight women making out. How can you say it’s more acceptable to be lesbian when the only basis for this statement is the fact that lesbian relationships are being sexually exploited by the pornography industry. Yes, two attractive women walking down the street with their arms around each other might be seen as acceptable, but what about the lesbian couple who’ve been together for thirty years doing the same thing. Would that action be as acceptable?
    Many people are saying that women are more intimate and personal, and that’s why lesbian couples are more accepted. I disagree. That statement is more a gender stereotype than anything else. Focusing on the differences in how gender is portrayed in our society, women are expected to be more emotional and place a higher level of importance on close interpersonal relationships compared to men. Men are expected to be tough, independent, and only showing ‘masculine’ emotions such as anger and pride. So instead of saying that lesbian couples are more accepted into society because women are generally more intimate with each other even in heterosexual friendships, what we should be saying is that gay couples are more ostracized because of their expressions of intimacy and other emotions typically stereotyped as female.
    When you look at heterosexual male interactions, any man or boy who is seen showing emotion, or being particularly attached to another male friend is immediately called names like faggot, fairy, ect. Boys are taught at a very young age what kinds of emotions are acceptable to express. I work with kids through a YWCA childcare program, and we had a six-year old boy, lets call him Fred, who cried whenever he lost a game we played. While this behavior was not typical of most six year olds, what always struck me about these incidents were the other, more seasoned workers, who made comments such as “he’s acting like a little girl”, and “he better grow out of that phase soon or he’s going to get picked on by all the other boys”. Why this stereotype?
    I think the key in attitudes of homophobia and gay-hate is the fear of someone different undermining what it means to be masculine to the average American man. In the gay hate crime where Matthew Shepard was brutally beaten and left to die; the murder’s excuse was “he tried to grab my junk”.
    Homosexuality challenges the wide spread stereotypes of what is to be male or female, and that has a large contribution to the lack of acceptance of LGBT as a whole.

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  34. baz5009 says:

    I think that lesbians are more accepted than gay men in society because of the way that people see the two groups when they are in public. Just as Sam said in his last class regarding the way that naive people see black people as thugs because of the way that some dress, act, and talk, people put the same sort of stereotypes on gay men. Think about it. Men as suppose to be the protectors of women and have this image of being strong and tuff, but gay men often act more on the feminine side. Now this is not the case for all gay men, but if you watch TV and read magazines, it’s the men that wear women’s jeans and bright colored shirts that make the most noise. Perez Hilton is an extremely popular person to note for this theory. He loves the color pink, has a small dog like many of the famous women right now have, gossips like a woman, and cares more about his personal image than a man really should. People like that, although they have every right to act that way, get to be a little much for me at times. Therefore, people that feel the same way may put a stereotype on all gay men saying that they all act that way. As I said above, this is not true, but it is an unfair reality.
    Now getting back to the reasoning behind why lesbians are more accepted, there isn’t as much of a role change in their personalities. There are plenty of women that are tomboys and love to play sports with the guys, and people don’t get as worked up over that as they do about gay men. Also, getting back to the way that the two groups dress, there isn’t as much of a lesbian “dress code” as there is for men. It makes it much harder to pick out a woman that may be gay than picking out a man that is gay. Therefore, having that ability makes people realize the possibility of a gay person walking down the street and makes them think more about that person’s sexual preferences and how they, the straight person, do not feel the same way.
    In closing, I think that it is unfair to judge people by their appearance and associating them with a particular group, in this case gay, but it is something that happens all the time in everyday life. People need to stop being so immature about people not agreeing with the way that they think and accept the fact that people are different. Stop worrying about other people and start worrying about yourself and what you need to do for the day.

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  35. I personally think that lesbians are only more accepted by men then women. Men think it is “hot” when two girls make out or have any sort of sexual relation. Often times men will want to have a sexual relationship with two women at one time. On the other hand, women do not typically fantasize about having a relation with two men. I think that women do not view this concept the same. From experience, most women I know are more comfortable around gay men then gay women. Girls tend to like gay men more because they can be their friend and do “girly” things with them, or at least that is what they think.

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  36. spf5027 says:

    A marriage is a civil union between a man and a woman, and should be considered as such. We are all entitled to equal rights, however I believe that a marriage means there is a Mr. and Mrs. Involved. You may see on addresses that they are listed as Mr. and Mrs. Smith. You can’t have this in a homosexual marriage because it is just strange. The majority of the citizens of this country have never accepted gay marriage, and the majority of citizens never will. Civil rights is a entirely different entity, so as Sam tried to consider it as a similar situation to gay marriage and gay rights is not right at all. Everyone of any race is entailed to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. People who claim that gay marriage is in the same category, have to get their facts straight. People died and were persecuted in public demonstrations in the south, this was a clear issue that needed to be addressed. I’m sorry, but you don’t see gays being shot with water cannons, or being denied the right to vote. This comparison is simply illrelavant. The only thing that gays struggle with is acceptance in society. They have rights, so I don’t understand what the big fuss is about at all. Marriage rights and stipulations should only apply to married straight couples. Our society would be probably all screwed up if gay were granted all the rights of married couples. Neighborhoods would be very strange, and the typical average normal American family would be jeopardized. What’s wrong with our society at the present time? We live in a normal world, and a small minority, not a race, is trying to change us into something that would be for the worse. Our society would be all screwed up of these marriages were allowed.
    If all major religions say that it is wrong for homosexual relationships to exist, shouldn’t we abide by this principal? Listen, god made sex so we can reproduce. I don’t think homosexuals are reproducing at all. Legalizing same sex marriages would put a bad image on our country as a whole. We in America have always been seen as a country of innovation, and a leader. I think we would be defiantly taking a turn for the worse if people could marry other people of the same sex. Look at San Francisco as an example. It is the most liberal city in the country and is a complete train wreck. People move out of there in order to avoid the homosexual community. So what is the purpose of legalizing these ridiculous marriages nationwide? There is none, and it would make our country worse.

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  37. Dekontee01 says:

    I do not think either one of them are accepted. But if you probably come to that conclusion due to many factors. One could be Gender stereotypes. Males are supposed to be manly, and work hard, pay bills, and be into sports. Gay men are seen as famine, they life to shop, snap their fingers, talk like a girl, have girl friends, and very emotional.
    I mean as a girl, if my boyfriend enjoyed doing the same things as me I would be disgusted and turned off (the phrase "stop acting like a girl" would be mentioned frequently.) Society have grown to view men as the strong, dominating person who duty is to protect and provide. now if they are seen shopping, decorating houses or holding hands with another man it is such an abomination.

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  38. zanna_re says:

    I do think that lesbians are accepted, more generally than gay men. I think a lot of this has to do with the media. There are many more portrayals of gay women in the media than gay men. From celebrities such as Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen DeGeneres, lesbians are being portrayed in a positive light by the media. There are even dating shows on VH1 about lesbians and bisexual women trying to find partners. I think a lot of this portrayal goes back to the idea that men find lesbians sexy, or a turn on. The fact that men seem to find women being with other women attractive leads to the media portraying them a certain way. There have yet to be dating shows portraying men trying to find other men. Although there are some examples of gay men in the media as successful and sexy. Usually when a male celebrity comes out, they are seen to be less attractive to women than they were before. However, celebrities such as Neil Patrick Harris have been shown as being sexy and openly gay. Just look at the movie Brokeback Mountain. I have yet to be around straight men who voluntarily saw that movie. However, if the story involved lesbians, I can guarantee that almost every man would go see that movie, and women would also still go see the movie.
    I asked one of my friends her opinion on this subject. She offered an interesting opinion. She said that because it is just not as weird for her to imagine two girls being together as it is for two guys. She said girls are more touchy-feely in their relationships, ie: holding hands, kissing on the cheek, and hugging, than guys usually are. Which is definitly true. Many of my guy friends will also insult each other by saying someone is gay or a "fag" ( I personally hate this word and do not condone it's usage). Girls would never insult one another by calling each other a lesbian. Many guys seems to have this fear of being seen as less masculine and there is still definitly that fear for girls to be seen as butch. So in that way, I think there is a stigma for both. I seem to notice though, guys only seem to find lesbian couples attractive when both the girls are attractive. But when either one of the girls is slightly masculine,they do not find it as attractive.I think there is a definite stigma associated with being gay if you are a guy, and it is seen as cool for a girl to be a lesbian. I have also heard many guys say that they think they can "change" lesbians, or they think that a girl is just going through a phase. Girls almost never say that they think they can change a guy from being gay. So I think it is just a difference of how people think about their lives and how the media portrays the two.

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  39. lxb931 says:

    This question has actually been brought up in my recitation class more than once and I have always thought it was quite an interesting question. My first reaction and first answer is that many people think lesbians are hot and in some cases lesbians and lesbian actions have become just part of society, take Katy Perry’s song “I kissed a girl”. I am sure there were probably arguments brought out against that song and people boycotting it, but if there were I certainly did not hear of any of them and it became a huge hit and make Katy Perry pretty famous. I have been out before where girls get really drunk and start making out with their friends and no one really says a word about it, unless it is complimenting and cheering on their actions. No one ever calls them gay, but I can pretty much guarantee that if boys were to do that in the middle of a party things would probably get weird and people would most likely call them gay.
    I think another reason why a woman being gay is more acceptable than men being gay is because men have always had this idea of being manly surrounding them. When people think of men, I am sure the first few things that come to their minds are things like sports and being strong. When someone is gay, I feel like people take all those things that straight men like to do and just assume that gay men do not anymore. If women are seen as “butch” I do not think it creates such a rise out of people as it does when men are more feminine.
    I think in time these things and the stigma surrounding gay people and gay marriage and everything else that comes with it will change. Our society is always moving forward and making changes every day. Not too long ago black people and women were denied rights that others were granted, but people became more accepting and saw that changes to the rights these groups were given needed to be changed and it eventually was. I have no doubt that we will keep moving forward with these issues and eventually gay men and gay women will not be seen in such a bad light.

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  40. oliviak says:

    I believe that gay men aren't as accepted into society as much as lesbians are because women are already observed as being feminine and attached to each other. For example, girls can have sleep overs, without anyone thinking twice, because it's the "norm" amongst females, it's "girly" in other words. Now if boys were to have a sleepover, it would be frowned upon, or looked at twice, because that isn't the "normal" thing for boys to do. People would look at it as the boys acting out in a feminine way, which is ultimately termed as being "gay". When people see girls out together hugging, touching, or kissing, most people don't think twice about them. Now, if men were out kissing or touching in a public setting, it would cause a spectacle. Moreover, lesbians are often desired amongst a large population of men, so it is more accepted into society. Gay men, often have a problem with adjusting into society, because of the uproar it causes. Gay couples, end to deviate from the notion of “manly" behavior.

    Also, in my opinion it's easier to watch two women kiss, than two men kiss, simply because women often are the more affectionate and sensitive when it comes to men and women. When two men kiss, it sometimes makes your skin crawl to see two men embrace each other in such a passionate manner, when society has prepared you for the sanction and unity of a man and a woman.

    When I witness two men act out in a sexual or an affectionate nature, I tend to become enthralled and wonder how and why they would want to do so. With women or girls, I know girls can hug each other and "play" kiss, because I'm a girl, but when boys and men do so, I often tend to look sideways. Gay men ultimately are out of the normal state or society.

    Further, I'm not saying that lesbians have it better in any way shape or form; I’m just saying they are not as frowned upon as men are. I know that lesbians face all, or at least some of the same hardships that gay men face. Lesbians have to also fight for equal marriage rights, as with gay men. They also have to deal with being accepted by their family and friends, and they deal with religious issues. Lesbians may have it 'easy" when it comes to the outside appearance, but that's as far as it goes. They struggle and handle the same issues as gay men.

    Although gay men aren’t completely accepted into society, they are slowly becoming accepted by society. With movies such as "Broke Back Mountain", society is being more supportive. A movie like this would have never made it pass the F.C.C.

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  41. rbjess says:

    Why are lesbians more accepted then gay men? I’ll try to answer this question to the best of my abilities. First of all I am a heterosexual male and I know firsthand in my 22 years experience I can put a little input on to this topic.
    The first point I would like to bring up is growing up as a boy most boys hang out with other little boys and that’s where you learn most about social norms and how to act. Even little girls see how boys are supposed to act. From my experience boys are supposed to like sports, like getting dirty, be free and do whatever they feel like doing. This is where it starts and continued for a long time that boys are supposed to chase girls and that is seen as the norm. It’s almost that it is born into people that boys should like girls and do masculine things. I tend to think that all males to stereotypical male things and being gay is something so against this norm that it’s truly unacceptable. If a young boy were to ever tell his father that he is gay the first thing people think is a dad going to get a gun and kill himself or disown his son. Like in the movie wedding crashers the son who is artsy and gay as fuck is the guy that no one wants to be. That is the way people feel about gay guys like what’s wrong with that guy not playing football and painting a portrait of some guy for. I know it’s not fair but it true most people are tolerable of gay guys but it’s like come on man your having sex with another guy and most people would say that’s not cool.
    For girls you have everything going for you. The media loves to portray women and these beautiful sex objects and if two girls are making out or seen as lesbians it almost the sweetest thing in the world for some people to see. Even though that not the case it’s usually two overweight or butch lesbians they are lesbians none the less and it’s seen as ok there lesbians.
    I also think that it has something to do with the way that each has sex or pleases each other. We all get it that if a gay man is having sex he is having a penis put in his anus and that’s what gets most people it has too, I would say that most females do not do this or they think that this is same type of taboo. The fact that if you’re a gay guy and your having butt sex all day just gets to people and they don’t want to think about that. It seen as so wrong that a male is having sex with another guy. On the other hand girls for the most part are seen as submissive and already are the ones who are being injected in intercourse so it seems fine that two women can scissor each other or bring toys into the bedroom.
    It’s really just a double standard I think, but hey that’s life and people will come around eventfully but until then I think that these reasons are pretty good.

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  42. sosaxydjl13 says:

    I believe lesbians are more easily accepted over gay men because I think society sees lesbians as girlfriends with added benefits. Comparing girls to guys, I picture girlfriends being “closer” to each other than say a couple of guy friends. I mean I’ve seen many of my heterosexual friends who are girls hold hands and hug each other before. However, I can never recall a time where I held hands with my best guy friend. If you saw two guys walking down the street holding hands, I think many of us would right them off as being gay, but if you saw two women doing the same thing it is easier to accept that they are nothing more than close friends.

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  43. TDactyl says:

    I feel this is a fairly easy question to answer or least one that allows for a few sound theories. Lesbians are more likely to be accepted because women are classified as famine and because of this the view of same sex relationships is different. Men are suppose to be “mucho” and are suppose to be depicted as strong and tough. Therefore, if a man shows any famine qualities they are stereotyped as weak or even gay and it becomes a bigger deal in the public’s eye. I am basically trying to say there is double standard when it comes to being gay or a lesbian because of the norms that has been created in society.

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  44. PamBeesley says:

    I think that there are a few reasons as to why lesbians are more accepted in society here than gay men. I think the main reason is that straight men feel more threatened that a gay man might be attracted to them or "coming on to them." Women also tend to be more open with their sexuality and are more comfortable hugging, kissing, and holding hands in public. I think it's really interesting that so many people say they support gay rights, but are against gay marriage. I read in an article recently that about 75% of the population is OK with people being gay, but so many of those people do not support gay marriage or civil unions for that matter. Most people claim that homosexuals can't get married and are against gay marriage because the bible says it's morally wrong. However, as Sam told us on Tuesday, not all of us follow the beliefs of the bible so people can't really legitimately use that as an argument. Also if we look at the Constitution of the United States, we will see in the first Amedendment that you can't make laws based on religion. So, it's irrelevant anyway.

    Homosexuals just want social recognition. I talked to a few of my friends who are gay or lesbian and this is the main thing that they are upset about. They deserve the same rights that heterosexuals have. There are over 1,000 legal rights and laws affected by marriage that homosexuals never get to enjoy. Families are one of those things. Gays and lesbians cannot have their own children naturally but they should be allowed to adopt. We live in a society today where family doesn't mean a mom, dad, and two kids. Family means a variety of things and if homosexuals are as caring and loving as heterosexuals than they should be allowed to adopt. Like Same said in his LGBT talk on Tuesday, many times gay and lesbian couples are more loving and caring of their children than straight people. They have a kid or kids because they REALLY want to. There was no "accident."

    I also thought it was interesting when Sam talked about how people have complaints about gays and lesbians "flaunting" their sexuality. I never thought about it the way he presented it, but it's so true. It isn't any different than a male/female couple holding hands or kissing in public. Straight people often have a tendency to dislike or be scared of gay people and why they do is probably just because they think that gay is abnormal and an unnatural behavior. But like Sam said, the definition of "natural" is having sex with an intention of creating life. So I really don't see how gays or lesbians aren't accepted completely in society. In my opinion, there's no reason to discriminate against people who are gay or lesbian. There's no evidence or proof that has made me think otherwise.

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  45. It is very hard to understand why Lesbian couples are more accepted than Gay male couples. In my opinion I think a number of different elements mesh to create a difference of opinion about Lesbians and Gays. To begin I would say that the first element that leads to this opinion is the stereotypes that surround gay men and lesbian women. As a heterosexual male I have listened and offered input in many of these conversations. I have heard many of the reservations men have about gay men. Straight men usually like to see themselves as big, strong, invincible persons who are rarely emotional and always ready to protect themselves and those they care about. Gay men are often thought of as feminine, eccentric, outcasts. The life of a heterosexual male revolves around being accepted by their male peers and mostly about being important in the eyes of their female peers. This is where I think the divide begins. Straight men always talk about sports and women or many do at least. Gay men usually aren't as interested in these two topics which leads to more dissention between gay and straight men. Straight men want to hang with other guys who want to do the same thing as them and when someone is different they are usually not accepted and made fun of. If a heterosexual guy is friends with a homosexual guy then he will often be looked down on by his other heterosexual male friends. Men want to be strong and when they are friends with a gay dude their other friends start to characterize them as feminine and weak. No straight guy wants people to think he is weak so in turn he will create distance from the gay man. On the other hand I feel like women are seen as nurturing, caring, soft, loving people so when a lesbian comes out within her peer group they may be more accepting. This may not be the case all the time but women I feel like are more accepting of different things. I am not a woman so I am only making generalizations but hopefully they are somewhat accurate. Men love women and when women love women, men think it is cool because it could be beneficial to them later on. Women I think are much more comfortable with their sexual orientation. They know what they want and they will stop at nothing to get it. Men on the other hand have been pressured to be stronger, faster, and smarter their whole lives. We have been taught to love one sex, females. Many males are ashamed to think or talk about things that are not normal. This contributes to the difference of feeling about gay men and lesbians. Men feel uncomfortable when they see gay men because it is different and they have not allowed themselves to think about this kind of thing so they immediately do or say something to make fun of the gay men. Thats my take on things I hope no one if offended because that's not my intention.

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  46. shamrock87 says:

    I never thought about this but lesbians may be accepted more than gay men because maybe they see lesbians as two women in which they feel two women may be able to if they choose to raise children better then gay men. And just maybe its reasons that we think two women could take care of a house better then two gay men. Maybe that is why we are more accepting of lesbians than gay men. I don’t think that one should be accepted anymore than the other but that comes to equality again and you would actually think that gay men were accepted more because we think of women as less equal still.

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  47. Amsterdam says:

    From the surface, I would say that I totally agree that it seems that lesbian couples are more widely accepted than gay male couples. I have not asked any of these couples to affirm the observation, but it certainly seems like this is the case. As to why this is, a lot of people I'm sure have already touched on it. I think that there is a maturity factor involved, for one. It has been studied that male brains take more time to develop than a female's. Another reason perhaps is that guys could perhaps feel threatened or weirded out by a male relationship, whereas they may be curious or even think it is cool to see two females together. A lot of times I feel that guys think that the gay males will 'come on to them', and this thought is reviling, and fuels negative feelings towards homosexuals. This is in contrast to a lesbian or lesbian couple. There is some type of fascination among men, and there is no threat to them. Instead, I could definitely see some guys thinking that they could be the one to turn a lesbian 'straight'. I also know that things like pornography and television have reinforced a concept of 'sexy' lesbians. I met a lesbian couple on the beach in Cancun a few summers ago, and this was the only time I've really talked to a full blown lesbian couple. They were extremely nice, but totally blew the sexy lesbian stereotype out of the water for me. When I got home and told my friends I had met these women, their first response was something like 'wow how hot were they'. Additionally, it has a lot to do with how each gender is socialized into the world. Boys are immediately led to sports and ruggedness, while girls are coaxed to do more dainty things. This is turn I think shapes their mindsets as they grow older, and perhaps for some reason leads women to be more accepting of things out of the norm. So, the fact that women are comfortable with it and the fact that the thought of lesbians turn men on to an extent, leads them to be generally more accepted than gay men. What I wonder is if this dynamic changes at all outside of the U.S. I noticed a ton more openly gay and lesbian couples when I was abroad, and I'm not sure if homosexuality in general is more accepted over there, or if people are just more comfortable showing it. I personally have even caught myself kind of being 'grossed out' seeing two men kissing on screen or something, but don't feel weird at all if I saw two women doing it, but I could care less if a man is gay because he should be able to do what is natural for him. I guess in the end it just comes from not being exposed to it as much as seeing lesbians together and being intimate.

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  48. Shields1908 says:

    Why are lesbians accepted more than gay men?
    I agree that the lesbian population is way more acceptable than gay men in society. I am truly not an expert when it comes to LGBT, but I do think that there are various reasons as to why women’s sexuality is more acceptable. I have a lot of male friends and all of them expect for one, would always talk about girl on girl sex, and how they often times wished that their significant other was bi-sexual. But when it comes to gay sex, they seem to highly disagree. Most men in general do not have a problem talking about their likes of lesbian sex, but when it comes to gay sex, the men are often called ‘gays’ or ‘fagots’, when there is not term used to lesbians. There is obviously a double standard in society.

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  49. Shields1908 says:

    When it comes to the company that one may keep, straight men are more open and accepting to having lesbian friends than they would have gay friends. But something that often comes up is that women are more open with their sexuality than men are. Meaning lesbians are initially more comfortable in society than gay men are. There are a lot of open lesbians in society, like Ellen DeGeneres and now supposedly Oprah and people still look at her as a human being with natural instincts. Whereas, if an openly gay man was to be the host of a television show, he would not be accepted into society, like a woman would. That is partially because the men that we do see on television are mostly flamboyant and in love with fashion design or hair.

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  50. Shields1908 says:

    Let’s look back into ones childhood. If a young girl was not feminine and girly, out playing sports and obsessed with cars, they are considered as ‘tomboys’. Which in most cases is said when girls are just going through a phase and they will grow out of it. Whereas if a young boy is to play with dolls and want to dress up, he is highly considered as being ‘gay’ at a very young age. It is also noticeable that when a girl is young, she is supposed to be caring and nurturing, and a boy is supposed to be tough and dirty. It all stems back to how society puts an emphasis on what is considered socially right and wrong.

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