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1809253 Responseshttp://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/lgbt-class-question-six/LGBT+Class%3A+Question+Six2010-02-17+02%3A34%3A39Sam+Richards to LGBT Class: Question Six
I think that society is not going to change anytime soon when it comes to this. Lesbians are women caring for women, and gays are men caring for men. Society is clearly more comfortable watching women show affections towards each other. I think this is because women are initially taught to care and be kind, when boys are taught to be strong and firm. To me, it doesn’t matter either way.
I first want to start of by saying how great the class was the other day I thought it was very interesting. Now the reason that I decide to answer this question is one I know the person who asked it. And another reason is that I thought it was an interesting question. But I decided to change it around a bit too why is it more allowed in society when to girls hook up with each other then when two guys do. Think lesbian woman are more accepting than gay men because I think woman in general are more accepting about sexuality, and freedom of making choices, and choosing the way an individual wants to live. Like girls have no problem being around each other naked or changing in front of echoer when guys are the opposite they don’t want to change or see each other naked. Now especially when you are at parties guys are always cheering for girls to make out with each other but you never hear girls tell guys to make out with each other. In society it is seen as “sexy” or a turn on when guys see girls kissing girls. Girls that are not lesbians are often found kissing or doing other inappropriate things just to please guys. Whereas, when girls see guys kissing guys, it is a total turn off. No one really seems to find it attractive when two men kiss for entertainment. Now by this I am only talking about guys or girls making out with each other I am not talking anything more then that. I feel that people in society are not more accepting to girls being lesbians and to guys being gay. They feel the same way about both of them; they just like it when two girls who are straight want to hook up. It’s not the same when they are lesbians doing it. I am not saying this is the way that I feel I am saying that is the way society is. I also feel that the media or celebrities play a role in this starting with Kate Perry who came out with the song” I kissed a girl” it goes like this I kissed a girl and I liked it The taste of her cherry chap stick, I kissed a girl just to try it I hope my boyfriend don't mind it, It felt so wrong It felt so right don't mean I'm in love tonight I kissed a girl and I liked it I liked it. SO when singers are writing there songs about this then girls are tempted to try it out because they are curious. So that is the reason I feel that it is ok for girls to make out with girls in public but nor for guys to make out with guys.
I think being gay or lesbian in general is more acceptable these days. With celebrities coming out of the closet and advocating for the LGBT community, plus all the media attention these types of issues has increased the awareness of these types of issue. In terms of Lesbian acts being more acceptable than Gay male act, I think the media has been able to turn the image of two women kissing into a heterosexual act. What I mean is, when you see two women kissing in club photos or movies (whose focus is not LGBT issues) the impression given off is that they are drunk and trying to impress the men around them. For some reason the idea of ‘girl on girl action’ is a turn on for some men. If anyone actually understand the reasoning behind this let me know. The impression you are given through movies and TV is that these girls are going to turn around and make-out with the closest guy. But in real life this in not true, the very concept of being a lesbian is that you have no interest in sexual interest in men. I think that the idea that any women can be completely uninterested in being with a man is very hard for some to grasp. Think if the stigma that is was previously associated with women not married by 25 in the 1950s? That stigma for the 25 year old has been lifted so long as they find a husband in the near future, but what about for those women that never marry? There is still a strong idea that there is something wrong with this person. And I’m not talking about someone who married and then divorced, I mean a true spinster.
As for taking just Lesbians and Gays being treated differently, think about all the stereotypes and expectation for men and women that are still relevant today. Women are still portrayed in the weaker position, men the more dominant. Men are seen to be rough and tough, with ample aggression to fuel both. Women are the emotional ones, passive, and in some groups expected to be superficial. Women are also afforded a larger degree of flexibility in these expected attributes. For woman to be a tomboy, or aggressive in a certain situation is acceptable. But for a man to be timid, girlie, or passive it is a much more serious infraction of gender norms. Many of the stereotypes attributed to Gay men are at odds with the roles and expectation for all men. Who hasn’t seen the flamboyant gay sidekick on TV? He is weak, passive, interested in women’s fashion, etc.
Lesbians are more excepted because the thought of a woman not ever needing a man is hard for many to imagine. They also have more flexible gender norms than men.
I am not sure about lesbian couples being more accepted by the society over male couples. In my opinion it’s more about people not noticing lesbian couples when they are on the street. Like many people mentioned most men don’t have a problem with seeing girls kiss each other. On the other hand seeing two guys kissing is a major disturbance for most guys. Also girls in general are more comfortable with showing emotions towards others, I guess it has to do with how they are raised. Girls are more sharing with their friends in early ages but for guys it is different. They are raised to be ‘tough’ meaning not to show emotions because it is seen as a sign of weakness. So when you think about this it is not uncommon to see two girls that are friends holding hands, hugging, and kissing. Just think about how close friends greet each other girls would most likely to hug each other and the guys would just shake hand or something like that. Live is pretty much feminized so most things related to showing affection towards another are seen ‘girly’ by most men. This is also the reason for men being generally pretty insecure around gays. Like I said before I think that lesbian couples are not being accepted by the society over male gay couples but they are they are able to appear in public and display a certain level of affection for one another without getting too much attention from the people around them because the society is used to seeing females show their feelings for one another. Obviously this doesn’t go for all the females, but when you think about it most people would jump to the conclusion that two guys are gay when they see them holding hands on the street. On the other hand when you think about it I think when people think about lesbian couples they tend to think about what can be called ‘lipstick’ lesbians which basically look like any other female but I think that masculine lesbian couples would attract the same kind of attention that male gay couples do in the public.
Sometimes I feel like lesbians are more accepted only if they are good looking lesbians. It’s a turn on for guys I guess because there is not just one girl, but there are two!!! But what if it was two ugly lesbians? Would guys still be turned on? I don’t really think so. But even myself like if I see two girls kissing then I don’t really think anything of it, but when I see two guys I tend to turn my head. I don’t have anything against gays, but for some reason I just don’t like to look. That’s just me though.
First off, I don’t think this is true by any means. But if I did, I would use the “male gaze” explanation. Both women and men are conditioned to see the world through the eyes of a man. I mean think about it, when is the last time you saw a male nude in a movie, compared to the amount of nude women you’ve seen. And even further, if you were watching this movie with a nude man, how would your male friends react? My guess is they would act grossed out. But if two girls were kissing this wouldn’t be the case, and most girls wouldn’t even flinch to see a woman naked.
I'm not sure I completely agree with this statement, perhaps the male stereotype of tall, blonde lesbians appearing in teenage television shows are more accepted amongst men, but in general I wouldn't neccessaily agree that gay men are more acception than gay girls. However, in answering the question, I can guess as to why gay men are sometimes more accepted. Firstly, men are stereotypically less accepting, and more cautious around gay men, perhaps as they see a gay aquaintence as a threat to the male masculinity. Secondly, gay men are perhaps more of a contrast to their straight male counterparts. Gay women are less recognisable in many cases, maybe because women, whether straight or gay are inherently more openly caring and emotional, whereas these qualities are thought to be possessed primarily amongst gay men, contrasted against the stereotypical, hard, macho heterosexual male.
Well, why does society accept lesbians more over gays? I see society today as a man’s world, where men still rule and hold the power in many aspects in life, especially the ideology of society of what is accepted and what is not. I want to mention that this is not at all facts, just what I believe from own experiences and interaction with society. Men in society are supposed to be machos, bread winners, protectors of families, gentleman’s, etc… Women on the other hand, fall under the umbrella of men still seen as minorities to men, not yet equally leveled to men in many important aspects; e.g. employment. I know this might seem like old fashion, traditional ideas, but for the most part it carries on to this day, not to the extremes as before, but still very relevant. An important aspect mentioned by Sam that I heard, that was correlated to this understanding of lesbians being more accepted, was men want and ask for more sex than women and holds true because the porn industry is for the majority supported by men. Just knowing these small ideas and men ideology still holds dominant in society men accept the fact that women could mingle and have sexual relationship between the same sex because it is seen accepted by man oppose to gay men. Woman are seen as passionate and sensitive than man so for the most part it’s conforming to see woman with other woman. Knowing that lesbian are more accepted than gay man to be accepted in society, it is a easier pathway for woman to come out of the closet into society, a easier transition than gay man who might experience harsher acceptance by society. Remember these are lifestyles that go against the norm and those who want to get accepted and receive the same rights as everyone must act upon it and not expect those, in this part who are heterosexual to do anything, but homosexuals to educate the public why they are no different than the rest. It is for the reason we see those open celebrity lesbians coming out of the closet and being open to the public about their beliefs; e.g. Ellen DeGeneres. This in return helps the public understand these lifestyles. Oppose to gay men who come out it provokes controversy and talk these gay men who for the most part are accept by the women population, but not the men society. It is unfortunate overall as society to understand or comprehend that they are humans too, no different than us, who hold 99.9% of our biological genes, but we judge on appearance and don’t want to accept anything abnormal that goes against our moral beliefs.
I believe that the difference between the acceptance of homosexual males and lesbian females stems from each genders respective assumed roles and responsibilities. I think that women are traditionally seen as loving, caring, and accepting, whereas men are generally seen (and typically hold up a reputation to be) strong, tough, and responsible, as they are usually projected to be the eventual head of a family.
I believe that men receive women as being all of the qualities that I mentioned previously. Therefore, when I, and most men see two women together, we see that they still care for each other and that this does not stray too far from our initial thoughts of how we imagine women to be, so we are not too misunderstanding of this relationship. When women see a relationship of the same type, I believe they are understanding of this as well, as this is what they are accustomed to as accepting and caring individuals. I feel that this holds truth whether the relationship is two men or two women together. When some men, no doubt myself, see a man with another man, we respond by feeling disgusted. To me, this person has abandoned his initial responsibilities assigned to him as a man at birth. Additionally, we feel that the pride that he is to be upholding because of his decisions puts a burden upon us to show him more respect. Men are usually individuals who reserve their appreciation instinctively, and for someone to request that we show them extra appreciation seems unacceptable. It appears, to us, that these individuals are no longer responsible for themselves and what they are though to accomplish in this world, and it is not taken in the same light that a lesbian relationship is.
Yes, this is only my reaction, and it contains stereotypes and assumptions that can easily be refuted, but these are simply my feelings, and I believe that they reflect the opinions of many other men that feel the same way when they see a homosexual man.
Additionally, I believe that the phenomenon of flaunting and flamboyance associated with homosexuals holds a much stronger connection to homosexual men than it does to lesbian women. I believe that many men respond to this flamboyance and pride simply as if it is an intrusion. As Sam said in class, these individuals are not making an attempt to try and stand out, but the pride that they hold and the respect and additional reinforcement that most attempt to acquire, I feel, almost puts extra pressure on straight individuals because they are inadvertently asked to show extra respect to this culture, even though this was a choice made on each homosexual individuals own basis.
Overall, I believe that if the initial assumption of straight men regarding homosexual men were different, than they may be treated differently. For now, however, I am afraid that I will be “calling it as I see it.”
I believe that lesbians are more accepted than gay men for a couple of reasons. One is that I believe that being a man is looked at characteristics of being tough, loving sports, and chasing women. Most stereotypes of gay men have none of those. They are looked down upon as inferior to the straight male. I don’t think they will ever be really acceptable by straight men. Most straight guys would tell you that they enjoy watching two girls together, because it’s most straight men’s fantasies. So, I don’t think that gay men will ever be fully accepted by straight males or by anybody, even if things change.
I think that lesbians are more accepted than gay men because our society is traditionally male dominated. Because of this, at some point in time, some men believed it to be "cool" for two women to "get off" to each other. On top of this, homophobia tends to be strictly aimed at gay male couples. I have never heard, or seen, any homophobic reactions towards a lesbian couple. I am not homophobic, and even when I think of that term, I envision someones reaction toward a gay male. I think if straight women were interested in gay males as much as straight men are interested in lesbians, things would be different.
My believe as to why lesbians are accepted as homosexuals by society more than gay men is not something that I can really back up. It is mostly based on my belief and guess that the majority of prejudice and hatred towards homosexuals in the United States comes from males, or at the very least they are the most vocal about it for whatever reason. It is also important I think to understand that most people act at least in some ways hypocritically, and I do not mean this only about men. As much as we may not like to admit we have hypocritical tendencies that pop up as we try to justify things that we like and dislike but we cannot explain why. I believe it is this hypocrisy by the more vocal and upset male population that does not support gay rights in this country that has led us to this question. This particular group has for whatever reason been able to justify lesbian couples in their minds. I think this is for three reasons. The first being in that in our society and culture it is looked down upon for a man to attack a woman, both physically and verbally. It is not looked at as classy or gentlemanly so males try to stay away from this issue as they do not want to appear as if they are picking a fight with someone who traditional society would say can’t defend themselves. The second reason is that certain men, for whatever reason, are sexually turned on by two women who are together. It seems exotic and taboo as it is something new in this culture. It would seemingly go against masculinity and heterosexuality to have two girls doing whatever it might be together and not see it as attractive (could be as simple as 2 girls are more than one). I feel like some guys would be looked down upon by others for speaking out against something that to some is an exciting exotic turn-on. The third and final reason is that men who are against homosexuality, particularly those, who could be labeled as ‘homophobes’, have nothing to ‘fear’ from lesbians. They do not have to worry about lesbians coming on to them at a bar for example the same way they may fear the same actions from a gay man (even if this is not a real threat to them). I think it would be interesting to see how men’s views towards lesbians and gay males differ from women’s views towards gay males and lesbians. For some reason I think the different sexes would view things differently and for whatever reason I feel as though women are a little more supportive of different lifestyles or at least are less vocal in their disagreement with it.
I think that there are a few reasons why lesbians are more ‘accepted’ in the world we live in than gay men. First, and most importantly, I think that the porn industry has taken advantage of a natural phenomenon amongst males in which they like to see two beautiful women fooling around. I mean, if I had to guess, I would say that well over sixty percent of males watch porn, maybe not on a regular basis but nonetheless. When you take into account how many porn websites and porn movies are available to the general public, it’s hard to argue the fact that they push for female on female action. For some reason men love seeing it and I do not see that changing anytime soon. Although there is ‘gay’ porn (male on male) out there, I feel as if no straight male would ever sit on their computer and watch it. However, I can’t speak for ‘bisexual’ males, or anyone who is testing the waters and may be interested in that sort of pornography. Second, I feel as though gay men are so much easier to target than lesbians. For instance, some gay men are very feminine and really put themselves out there. It’s no fault of theirs they’re just being who they were born to be. However when you openly display your sexual orientation like that, you’re kind of asking for trouble. It can be quite dangerous to come out of the closet, for some reason in our society some people feel like they have to make gay men fear for their safety, which just isn’t fair. Many gay males are physically assaulted just because of the fact that they are gay. This really isn’t seen as much amongst lesbians because quite frankly, no male, or should I say no male with a soul is going to savagely beat up a woman just for being a lesbian. When it comes to lesbians, I feel as though it’s harder to pick them out amongst the crowd. I personally don’t think I would be able to pick out a lesbian from a group of ten or more people. My third and final point has to do with gays and lesbians in the limelight. I feel as if gay men are more likely to fight out against opposition just as Harvey Milk did. I rarely hear of any lesbian women starting ‘revolutions’ to the extent that Milk did in San Francisco. This leads to a more vicious opposition against gay males. The fact that you’re a male, and you’re gay is just more dangerous in society today due to the fact that males love to fight for what they believe in, and when it comes to the gay/lesbian discussion sometimes that fight turns physical.
I think that unless you are considering the religious view of sexuality, the whole idea of accepting homosexuality is somewhat based on whether you find it gross to think about or not. I believe that when asking a guy’s opinion about this, the majority is more comfortable accepting lesbians over gays, because there is a not-so-secret fact that straight men tend to be turned on at the thought of lesbians. If the thought is something that turns them on, it makes sense that most men would accept lesbianism. The reverse is not true about gay men, though, since picturing two gay men together is not a pleasant thought for straight men. I’m not involved in a lot of conversations about this, but I heard a few girls say they wouldn’t be turned on by two gay men together the way guys usually are about two lesbians together.
Gender roles are a clear factor in the acceptance of one’s sexuality. Since the beginning of time, society has portrayed men as the tough, hardworking type that provides for their families. Obviously times have changed but that unwritten rule stays branded in many minds. When imagining characteristics of a gay man, most people think of the stereotypical one who tends to act girly and play the role of the female. A male with feminine qualities breaks that unwritten rule and is not something that society can easily accept. Other perceptions come into play, too. Few would assume that a long-bearded Harley rider could possibly be gay, and most people are more comfortable not knowing. I think it’s harder to capture what the stereotypical lesbian is like or explain how it would change her gender role. However, I think that when you compare the two, what stands out the most is how men are supposed to be strong and powerful, and being gay makes a male “weak” and unable to play the part that society expects him to. Girls on the other hand, are allowed to break out of their gender roles and be tomboys.
In elementary school, kids called each other “gay” as an insult. I’m sure that something like this stays locked in the minds of children at such a young age. If calling someone “gay” is meant to insult, then it must mean it would be terrible for somebody to actually be gay. And since the term “gay” is used to describe men more often than women, some may think that it’s only unacceptable for a man to be gay and not necessarily a problem if a woman is gay.
Still, I believe that porn is the number one reason that lesbians are much more accepted than gay men. The porn industry puts two attractive girls together and represents them as typical lesbians, so society may collectively be stereotyping lesbians as beautiful and sexually attractive.
This is a question that will have varying answers depending on who you are asking. A Dude will say they find it much easier to accept lesbian Women- as they are expected to, and Women will say the opposite. However, if we look at the exceptions here, chances are you will find that there are more Women who would also say they find it easier to see lesbians, than you will find guys who say they prefer to see gay men. This, to me, indicates that not only guys, but a lot of Women also tend to prefer they see lesbian p.d.a. instead of gay men p.d.a.. And I have a theory of why this may be- though it only addresses the exceptions. I think this is an example of a underlying truth about human genetics and a hidden truth about the history of mankind- that Women, in fact, are not only more aesthetically pleasing to the eye than men, but are also created to be closer to the Divine. It is my belief that Women are God's chosen temples and that they should be praised as such. It's like no one even pays attention to the fact that Women can literally create life in their bellies- that they can perform Miracles- with a mere minute or so of a guy's time and erection. The beauty of Female body, to me, makes the idea of men who prefer men incomprehensible. How can you give up the perfection of a Woman for the imperfection of a man.
So for the Women who are more accepting of lesbians, whether they know it or not, I think its because their eyes serve them well in that they subconsciously know that Women are much more beautiful. Heterosexual men sure as hell know it. For those guys that prefer men- maybe it's genetics, I don't know, but I tend to think its more nurture than nature that affects their sexuality. The environment in which we are raised makes us everything we are. If you see your Dad kissing another guy, you can't tell me it won't make you at least consider being a chip off the old block. The gay men/Women who have acted in the likeliness of their opposite gender since they could first walk, OKAY- maybe that is genetics. But the late bloomers? Nah- something changed you along the way. Just my personal belief.
Don't get me wrong, I respect all mankind and accept everyone for whatever they want to be. As a straight man, perhaps I'm biased, but I think my opinion could hold some ground amongst some scholars. I just can not even begin to understand how a guy could walk around and not look right past dudes in passing to the cute girl in the distance. Maybe I'm ignorant, you tell me. I think it's a fair opinion. I LOVE WOMEN, sue me.
They are hotter. Lets face it, women are hotter than men and to be completely honest they kind of pick up for our slack when it comes to looks. They care more about their dress, their appearance, and the little things that guys are too ignorant to notice.When people say “there’s a hot couple,” 99 percent of the time it is because the woman is drop dead gorgeous. I’ve heard that phrase before and looked to find that the guy was ugly, but I don’t recall ever hearing that and thinking to myself, “wow the guy really carries the looks in that relationship.”
In today’s society LGBT awareness and acceptance has gone significantly up in the past decade. In past years many LGBT people would walk down the street together and be discriminated against and I don’t think this is a huge issue anymore. I do feel that lesbians are more socially acceptable then gay males however. First things first, women are extremely affectionate just in general. Two girls could be walking down the street holding hands and I would think nothing of it. This doesn’t mean that they are automatically lesbians. Many girls are very close with one another and walk and hold hands or have their arms wrapped around each other and this is an everyday occurrence. Now the counter argument would be that if you see two guys walking down the street, you can with pretty good certainty say that they are gay. Non gay men do not just walk next to a close friend and grab the guy next to his hand. This is all about masculinity.
Men are always trying to be as macho as possible and are not going to put themselves into that situation unless they are gay. Women on the other hand could do this at anytime and I wouldn’t think twice about it. Sam had many statistics on the board during class and many of them were shocking, especially the stat between gay men and lesbians. Many more women have tried and experimented sexual acts with other women then opposed to men with men. Yet when looking at actual gay males to gay females, the numbers are reversed. The percent of females was around 4% where men was up around 8 or 9%. Since more people in society have been exposed to and see more “lesbian acts” many more people are open to it. You can go to a party and everyone in the party would be cheering for two girls to make out. This doesn’t mean these girls are lesbians it just means that guys like to see girls making out with other girls. Now you would never go into a party where everyone would be yelling for two guys to make out. That just doesn’t happen. Guys are also very vocal and want to see girls together. Girls on the other hand aren’t really all about guy on guy action. They might be, but they aren’t announcing how much they want to see it where guys are screaming it. I feel that in today’s society that lesbians are much more accepted then gay males. When I say that I mean that even though not every girl holding hands with every girl is a lesbian, I’m saying that many people are more accustomed to seeing that and in turn are more accepting of lesbians.
I first want to start off by saying that I agree with this belief that lesbians are more accepted then gay men. I feel that this all boils down to how straight men feel about the situation. Women seem to be a lot more understanding on the issue of accepting gay society, both male and female then men are. I feel that they are more likely accept both gay men and gay women than men are. Now here is the key to the higher acceptance norm for lesbians than gay males. Straight men are more likely to accept lesbians then they are to accept gay men. Straight women are more likely to accept both which offsets the balance. Why are straight men more accepting of lesbians then gay men? I believe that it has to do with most straight men find lesbians as a turn on. They like seeing women kiss each other and don't want to see gay men demonstrate affection for each other. Also because they are males they may not understand how someone can be gay. How someone can be attracted to another male. I know I don't understand it. The lack of understanding may cause a lack of acceptance and as a society people are taught that being gay is wrong and immoral and usually when they are taught this gay men are usually used as an example. I know I used to think that people who are gay chose to be that way and usually for rebellious reasons or because they were confused. I have grown to start thinking that it isn't a choice, because honestly why would someone choose to be put down by society all the time, if anything I feel gay people would pretend to be straight. I feel that the lack of acceptance from straight men is the reason why it seems that society accepts lesbians more then they do of gay men. I feel an interesting question would be what would society be more likely to accept, a gay male couple raising a child or a lesbian couple raising a child? I feel that society would be more comfortable with a lesbian couple for the fact that women are seen as more nurturing. There could also be a side argument that a gay male couple would be better to raise a child because a child may need a strong father figure or protector in his/her life. I'm not too sure about this and just thought I'd throw it out there since it kind of just came to me and I'm sure that's what Sam would do. Kind of just kick it out there and see what else people think.
I don’t have the statistics to prove my theory, but I think it is widely known that men view two women engaging in sexual activities together as something good. Most men watch straight porn, but they also watch lesbian porn as well. It is something that society has made acceptable. When you reverse the situation and it is two men together, women are much less likely to be attracted to that. Women wouldn’t like to watch gay male porn because it’s not something that attracts them.
This could be because men are much hornier than women are. When a man see’s a lesbian he sees a woman who happens to like other women. She’s a woman first and a lesbian second. When a man sees a gay person, he sees a gay person first and man second. It is just another double standard that is accepted in society. Just like a man who has sex with a lot of woman is respected by other men, but a woman who has sex with a lot of men is disrespected by women.
I also feel as though gay males are more flamboyant and obvious to spot than a lesbian. Gay men dress differently than normal men and tend to speak differently. Now, I don’t mean every gay person, but the stereotype is there, and someone that fits the stereotype is shunned by society (or most men for that matter). When I hear someone is gay, most of the time it doesn’t surprise me, there are hints (not always but a lot of times) that give it away. Be it the way he acts, talks, or dresses. With women it is much more difficult to spot. That’s the reason I think gay men are much more discriminated against than lesbian women
I also feel as though a man who has had sexual relations with another man is gay. I don’t believe that you can have sexual relations with another man and not be gay or bi-sexual. The idea that you were just experimenting is not something I believe in. On the other hand, a woman who engages in sexual relations with another woman isn’t automatically lesbian or bi-sexual. Because of how society has placed its values, a woman who engages with sexual relations with another person isn’t making a big statement. It is almost expected when you go out to a fraternity party in Penn State that you will see two girls kissing. When a man does engage in that sort of behavior with another man, he is making a big statement about himself, because it isn’t accepted in society. So therefore he has most likely thought about his actions and made a firm decision. A straight man isn’t going to engage in that kind of behavior with another man, if he knew for sure he wasn’t gay.
I think why lesbians are more accepted than gay men are for the reason the woman are more accepting to sexuality than men. A lot of women in society hang out with gay men. Is it because gay men do not feel accepted by straight men? The answer is yes, gay men do not feel accepted around straight men. Many times straight men have a macho perspective in how they should act around other human beings. Therefore, gay men are stereo type as being feminine, which many gay men are feminine. I’m sorry to be so forward but most the time stereotypes are right. I do not know one feminine man that is not gay. So why would a man want to be around some else who is not like him? It simple, men want to hang out with other “manly” men.
Maybe it comes to nature because men are used to making moves on women sexually and straight men are afraid of gay men because they feel they may be hit on by them. The comment I just said is a common answer for men who do not like gay men. Many times gay men do not hit on straight men but let’s be honest, gay men make mistakes too. So there are occurrences where straight men are hit on be other men in a bar where the straight man feels uncomfortable and threatened. As much as people see gay rights as a frontier to the future, there will always be problems with it socially. The issue of gay marriage will always be in controversy.
Although women are more acceptable than men, women still have the same playing field of obstacles that gay men must face. In most states lesbian women cannot get married. The state calls it a union. Why are lesbians more accepted in society? Most men do not mind when they see two girls making out r exchanging sexual intercourse. Many porn industries thrive off men buying their videos of lesbian porn. Lesbian porn excites straight men because they feel that one woman is great and two women are even better. Now there is a trend for straight women to make out with other straight women. I think women feel more open to it because men are more open to it. The bottom line is that straight women want to impress straight men. If straight men like to see two girls kiss then straight women will do it. Then why don’t straight men kiss? Straight men feel that they need to macho all the time in society and a gay kiss is feminine. There will be no result or resolution to gay marriage in the near future. The baby boomer generation must pass then a new accepting generation will take public office.
I do not completely agree that lesbians are more accepted. I think it has to do with the particular lesbians. I had old lesbians as neighbors and when I told my guy friends they were very excited until they found out they weren't playboy bunny hot. I do agree that in general the idea of lesbians is more acceptable then gays. I think it simply has to do with the fact that most guys are homophobes and are brought up that being gay is wrong and lesbians are hot. I think part of this has to do with the thought of them having a sexual experience with another guy. The thought of them 'catching' just makes it too much to bear. Movies promote lesbians and demote gays.
This is a question that I think you just need to look around to see evidence of. We live in an alpha-male dominated culture in the United States, so of course lesbians will be more accepted that gay men. Gay men are seen as the antithesis of this strictly American concept of "a strong work ethic, individuality, determination", etc. I am not advocating that it is right, but I think that it is a fair assessment of why things are this way. What is better to a straight man than a girl who digs another girl? Not much, except maybe if she likes guys too. Therefore, all the stigmas that homosexuality is wrong are largely directed towards men, because there is something that society says is alright about lesbianism but not homosexuality for males in this country. Another reason is that the American ideal of a man is so "masculine". In European countries like Italy, Spain, and France, it is alright for a man to let his guard down so to speak. He can pay attention to his looks, his diet, and his tastes in wine, whatever, without the fear of being called a "fag". I think this stigma has come about in this country because of the insecurity that most men have here. Gay are discriminated against because men are afraid that they will come after them or maybe that they will be attracted to them. We have these outlandish standards in this country of "what makes a man a man". He needs to drive a truck, eat a lot of meat, and watch football, whatever. It is ridiculous and it leads to such an impediment of individuality. My mother raised me, so I like to think that I have a more androgynous view on these sorts of things. I cook, read GQ, play soccer, eat organic, and I have a beautiful girlfriend on my arm, not another dude. Americans cannot see the in between on matters like this. I agree whole wholehearted with Sam that we are all in the middle. If someone is good looking, they are good looking, no matter what sex that they are. The man has throughout history been the provider, risk taker, etc. for his family. Times have changed though, and while I still love being a man, the need to grunt and beat my chest does not have to go along with it. I think what makes a man is an open mind, responsibility, and compassion among other things. All of this judgment needs to stop. We should let people be whoever the hell that they want to be, those that criticize this freedom are truly the insecure. Straight, gay, bi, whatever…we are all human beings above anything else, so we should really start to act like we are.
I think that this is very common amongst most people and I think that is true because lesbians are more sometimes accepted to the public than gay men are. I think its simply because in this generation I think that many female girls are just getting completely comfortable with just kissing friends that some of them would claim that they gay but not really because this whole “gay” thing amongst females is honestly a big fad. I think that when girls do things that are considered “gay” they get away with it mostly because females can play both sides of the fence. I think that when we hear music saying things like “I kissed a girl and I liked it” stuff like this just makes it okay to go around kissing girls and not be perceived as gay. I think that people have a hard time accepting gay men because of the negative criticism that gay men went through I mean every time we think of a gay couple the first thing that usually pops up in to peoples head are two gay men. I think that since men have been so publicly criticized that its just hard for people to accept that. I think its unfair because I mean I don’t have a problem with gay people but the sight of two dudes making out in publicly is creepy but I check my self because its not my business and I think that’s what people need to do. I think that if people would simply mind there own business and not really worry about the next person we would be more accepting because who are we to judge for some ones happiness. That’s why particularly I never really had a problem with any type of gay people because I look at it live your life. Life’s to short to be sitting here judging groups of people and why we don’t accept certain people I think its unfair because we’re all equal and pretty much everyone wants to be happy and just live their lives they way they should. I think we should all just do as we –please and not worry about what the next person says. I think that gay men should be openly accepted to the public just as much as the lesbian population is much accepted as well. I think that if everyone were open minded people that we would be more tolerant and accepting of others peoples sexuality and not really care what other people think because at the end of the day it shouldn’t matter who you are because were all striving to be happy in the very end so lets just love live and be happy.
Firstly, I would like to say that I completely agree with you and you're awareness of the fact that lesbians seem to be more accepted than gay males. I don't know about other countries but in America this definitely tends to be the case. I think that the reason for this is due to one main thing; people's perceptions due to the media and society as a whole.
The media influences all of us whether we like it or not…there's really no escaping it. We see a lot in society and the media lots of movies, music, pop culture, and television. These things at one point or another have all talked about gays and lesbians. And typically when talking about this topic there are inferences portrayed and the image that female on female is better than male on male. Usually we see the hilarious, teen comedy with some douche bag guy (like Stifler from American Pie) who is constantly talking about sex and "girl on girl" action and how amazing it is. This in itself influences us over time because we see it's occurrence over and over.
I also think that because we are seeing this in movies and television so often females who are lesbians or even girls who are just sexually curious are more likely to express it in public areas than males because of the fact that it's typically seen as "acceptable". Because there are more females than males who typically show their PDA this also contributes to the popular thought that lesbians are more accepted than men.
I think it's stupid and truly ignorant if we can't recognize that this isn't true in America. I can even admit that I fall into the category of people who can relate and think this way. I know that if I saw 2 women kissing I wouldn't have as big of a reaction as I would if I saw 2 men kissing. I don't necessarily think this is the right mentality or the right way to think but it's reality and people need to realize and accept the fact that this is going on instead of living in denial.
I don’t really agree that lesbians are more accepted than gay men. I feel that gay men are more out there and seen more often than gay women. In the media with celebrities and public figures, I think gay men are more prominent. In the media the only gay women I can think of is Ellen Degeneres, but men, there are so many I can think of. I am not sure as to why but I have seen men come out of the closet and state they are gay more often than women. I have a lot more friends or acquaintances that are male and gay than female. Actually, when I think about it, I only know one girl who is actually a lesbian when I know a lot of men who are gay. I am not sure if this has to do with the group that I associate with since I am a dancer and often has a lot of gay men, but I definitely see more gay men than women. As for it being more “accepted” to be a gay female versus male, I don’t know if I think that is true. In general I feel that women are more accepting of people. I feel that women could understand why someone, male or female, is gay. But straight men on the other hand, can not seem to accept or understand why a man would want to be with another man. I feel that straight men are not accepting of when males are gay. But I feel that straight men are accepting of females being gay because they have this fantasy of women being together. Although I have never watched a porno video, of what I am told, a woman being intimate with each other is a common thing in heterosexual porn, not just homosexual videos. I feel like a woman being gay is often associated with the fantasies seen in these videos, so men would tend to accept and understand why women would be with other women. Men think that a woman being together is for a show and to turn other men on. I really don’t think they see that women are being together because they actually love each other and are gay. So I disagree that people are more accepting of women being gay than males. I think that men are seen a lot more in the gay community as well as are more open about being gay. I am not sure if this is just their personalities but gay men have a stereotype to being very flamboyant about their sexuality. Where as women are seen less often in the gay community, but are more accepted by straight males for being lesbians because they have seen those images in the sexual videos they watch.
First off, I would like to state that I completely agree with the statement being made behind the posed question, that society in general is much more accepting of lesbian couples than homosexual male couples. Many of the previous authors of these comments are basing their opinions off of the well-known fact that lesbians, and women in general, are a much more accepting gender population, especially about sexuality and the liberty of making free choices, than men and gay men. And yes, women are notorious for being maternal and obnoxiously caring at times, and although men are not known or respected for this character quality, I'm not saying that men in general are apathetic or uncaring. And this point of women being naturally more accepting than men in general doesn't even answer the question posed in the video. The question inquired as to why lesbian couples were generally more socially accepted compared to gay men. To answer this, I would first like to state that I believe the societal norms we place upon each gender is a vast separator that distinctly places homosexual male couples into an uncomfortable spotlight. Think about this: as little children, we are thrown into what can only be called stereotypical norms. Girls wear dresses and play house while boys roll around in the dirt, draw some blood, and punch each other to show each other how tough they are. If little girls would ever been seen displaying this behaviour, they would be immediately reprimanded. Young boys, however, are rewarded and praised for showing dominance and "manly" instincts at a young age. From such a young age men are taught not to cry or be ultrasensitive to anything. And although there are probably hundreds of reasons why lesbians are more widely accepted than gay men, I believe the norms pushed onto us from birth is one key piece of evidence to this unfair segregation. Can you imagine growing up in a family that pushed and praised you for being a boy only to have to tell them you're homosexual? These stereotypes are probably some of the most difficult to try and break through. Growing up as a woman, who to this day still drunkenly holds the hands of her friends and kisses them on the cheek for taking care of her, I know full well how easy it would be to simply be mistaken (and accepted) for being a lesbian. And guys, it doesn't help that you cheer on girl on girl make-out sessions at parties. If we ever pulled that one on you, you would be mortified.
This is the easiest hard question around. Media is a big part in why lesbians are seen as "cool" while gay dudes are seen as "unnatural". The media has NO problem portraying lesbians all over the place, including award shows and things of that nature. I think some gay male from american idol tried to kiss another guy on stage and they bleeped it, but I could be wrong. Even in society a father would be more accepting of a gay daughter compared to a gay son. It's much harder for gay males in the world, because as many say, it's a mans world. The macho act is part of a bigger insecurity for a lot of men since they can't express raw emotions, so they express fabricated ones that media plays into again. When's the last time you turned on the TV and saw two flamboyant characters interacting as if it was normal? I can't think of one. But instead you see two rugged dudes throwing a football around with wranglers on and it's cool because that's how "men" act. Take a show like Ellen, who's horrible by the way but that's neither here nor there, and try to imagine a gay fella doing her show. It would be shutdown almost immediately in my opinion. Many gay men don't attract and audience like a lesbian does. You don't see many girls saying "hey I really want to see those two muscle hunks go at it,"but, you will see dudes say the opposite. A lot of girls I know think it's more disgusting to see guys kiss than girls kiss. Also the title of lesbian compared to gay comes into play. I mean really think about it. When someone says "gay" you either think of the movement of the gay population or gay males. Maybe call gay men Mesbians? or Morebians? I'm not sure how the gay male population would react to that title, or if lesbians even would like a title and rather be called just a gay woman. It's a down slope battle. Gay men are now trying to be accepted on the same level as their female counterpart. It comes down to education. They don't talk about much HUMAN sexuality in schools before college, you just find out about it. What are we as a society to do about what is accepted and not accepted? We can't make everyone conform to our ideas or their ideas. People are still racist, and will continue to be, and it's a lack of education. Gay man will be less accepted compared to lesbians because it's simply just not as attractive to the "average" persons eye. It's not fair, but it seems like progress is being made. Just look at the amount of gays being accepted in the work place now since 2002. People have to understand it takes time. Society can't just go from crawling to riding a harley in a couple years, it takes many.
I think that lesbians are more accepted then gay men are because its different. Some men just dont want to see another man doing something out of the norm. Men that are naturally attracted to women will watch male and female porn, female and female porn, but never male and male porn.Many straight men just want to see a woman pleased, thats what gets them going, thats why they will enjoy lesbian porn, over gay-men porn.Men dont want to imagine themselves with two men, they want two women. I personally have seen a lot of gay men and lesbian women where i live. In my high school there were an extremely large number of bisexual and lesbian couples as well as gay men. It just doesnt phase me so why should it phase you?
I would have to agree with a bunch of the comments above. Lesbian relationships are more accepted in society than the relationships between gay men. Why? Because women are naturally more affectionate than men are. Women are more likely to talk out their feelings to each other. They are allowed to become emotional. A man's role in society, however, is the exact opposite. We have grown up with expressions such as "Take it like a man!" or "Man up!" And when do people usually use these expressions? They mostly use them on occasions where someone is clearly giving up or backing down from something. So for the most part, society takes 'being a man' to be the person who takes in everything and hides their emotions by letting their steam out in ways other than sitting down and talking to someone. That being said, this would mean that men are not supposed to have emotional breakdowns, men are not supposed to cry, and men are not supposed to show more affection than women. They are usually looked to be the "macho" guys who never talks out their feelings. We do not hear phrases such as "take it like a woman!" or anything like that because generally speaking, we have been brought up with different stereotypes. We all have already made that generalization that women are "gentle and kind" while men are "tough and butch". And so, I suppose this is one of the reasons why people are more accepting towards lesbian relationships opposed to the relationships of gay men. I guess it's harder for people to think about "tough and butch" guys having romantic feelings towards each other in comparison to the "gentle and kind" women being together.
For the record, I am a girl and I am straight. I have grown up with a close-to-equal amount of girl and guy friends. So if I were to one day compliment another one of my girl friend's outfit, appearance, hair, or makeup, it would be okay for me to do so. I don't think anyone in the same room would ever think anything of it. Now, let's say that one of my guy friends was to do the same thing and compliment another guy friend's outfit, appearance, or hair. Immediately after, he would feel that it is necessary to add a phrase like "…no homo" towards the end of his sentence. Why is that? Because they are afraid that since they've let out too much emotion that now all of a sudden others will think that their sexual orientation has completely changed? Adding that little phrase at the end is like a pass to "protect what he has said" so that other people listening will not think twice about it.
It is definitely more prevalent in today’s society that lesbians are generally more accepted than gay men. I think a lot of this has to do with the differences between how women treat each other compared to men, and the role of the media. The way females treat each other is definitely already more compassionate that the way men treat each other in terms of it being physically and emotionally. Females tend to be more comfortable with touching each other than males do, which can account for the why it is more accepting to see a female couple hugging and/or even kissing and accept it than if one sees a male couple doing the same thing. People are just more used to females doing it than males. The way females talk to each other is also different from the way males normally talk to each other as well. Females usually share their emotions with each other verbally more often than males. Therefore, this would be characterized as a more feminine trait, which also accounts for the reason why people feel more uncomfortable when males seem as emotional (if not more) as a female. If one was to walk around a mall and see a male couple holding hands, he or she would probably be startled as first compared to seeing a female couple holding hands. There are females who hold hands even if they are not lesbians; maybe they could be close friends who are more comfortable than most who hold hands on some kind of basis. On the other hand, seeing a male couple holding hands seems to be less accepted because males usually do not physically touch each other like females do, which is why more people would be startled to see this than they would if they saw a female couple doing it. Another reason why lesbians are more accepted than gay men could be because of the media. There are many movies and TV shows out there that exhibit the fact that lesbian action is sexually arousing compared to gay action. There are scenes where lesbian action is applauded, thus an audience will think that lesbian action is so much more accepting than gay action. I think a lot of the advertisements people see nowadays also exhibits heterosexual sexuality, but there are more prevalence of lesbian sexuality arising as well. There are not as many ads that illustrate gay sexuality, which could also play an important part of accepting lesbians more than gay men. Either way one looks at sexuality, there is definitely more prevalence of lesbian and/or female sexuality than there are gay men and/or male sexuality in our society today whether it be through the media or people seen on a day-to-day basis.
i think lesbians are only more accepting because of men knowing to be in power with a beautiful family and their wonderful kids. if a man of power had a wonderful husband instead, things would be very tense and probably people would not like it. it might sound like a weird way but i just think that's one way it is. i think we live in a society now that's very forgiving but i still think that lesbians have more respect then gay men. i couldn't really tell you why other than that but it just feels that gay men dont get as much respect.
I feel that "lipstick" lesbians or the pretty girly lesbians are more accepted in society than "butch" or more masculine lesbians. Lipstick lesbians are seen as a mainstream sexual fantasy. I feel its more of a sexual objection than actual acceptability. Gay men are a lot more accepted in main stream media. They are all over the media in fashion shows and are featured as best friends of hot female celebrities. I feel lesbians are not accepted in society as easily as gay men.
I think its because were a male centric society and men like women so if women are gay there's this weird mass fantasy about wooing a gay women back into liking men. this is a sad concept but guys arent really in to thinking about other guys. sad as it sounds thats what I think the acceptance difference is.
I think that this question goes much deeper than what it may seem on the surface. Who says that lesbians are "more accepted" than gay men? Without putting much thought into this question I may have instantly agreed with you, but after further deliberation it seems I have come upon a grey area. When you look at the mainstream media, such as network television and cable programming, most programs involving a gay character seem to go about it with a gay man rather than a gay woman. Check this link out, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_television_s... it is a list of all of the TV programs with LGBT characters in them with all of the character names. It seems to me that the gay male characters heavily outweigh the gay woman characters. If what you were saying was true, this statistic would be completely reversed.
I think that you may be taking the "lesbian fantasy" too much into account when asking why gay woman are more accepted than gay men. What I mean by this, is that the people more likely to openly and outwardly condemn a gay man and embrace the "thought" of gay women are uninhibited men. These men, in my opinion, would rather imagine the thought of two woman in bed together (they probably already have a fantasized view of this, from porn) than imagine two gay men in bed together.
Not only that, but I couldn't even tell you how many girls I know that have a "gay best friend" that they absolutely adore. Do you think I am talking about the (girl) friend that was completely inseparable from them growing up and since turned gay, but their new found identity did not phase them because its now just their "gay best friend?" No. I am talking about the gay GUY that they hang out with and shop with and treat as just another "girlfriend". Among the girls I know, if they do not have one, they want one! How many guys do I know, though, that have a "gay best friend" that they talk about when referring to the lesbian that they drink with and golf with and treat as if she was just another one of the guys? Lets just say I would be hard pressed to discover such a phenomenon.
On the surface, this question can be very misleading. It can make people feel as though gay woman are embraced by society whereas gay men are kicked to the curb. If anything, this seems to be the trending opposite.
Lesbians are more accepted within today's society and gays are not for a number of reasons. In some ways lesbians are seen as entertainment for men and let’s face it, being male is a huge advantage within our society. When it comes to gays, being seen in such a manner can possibly strip a male of his masculine identity and puts him in a shameful more feminine perspective. Today, there seems to be an unreachable sense of masculinity and femininity. In children’s toys, you can see extremely thin Barbie’s and very buff action figures and for human beings, these bodies are impossible to reach. You can see this repeat itself in the media as well. In the movie 300 for example, all of the actors who played Spartan soldiers had fake abs. What does that say about real men’s masculinity? Nothing positive I can assure you. The media molds all of our minds through television, newspaper, and even radio. When of the major issues I would like to point out would be the homophobia within the black community and hip hop culture. As a black kid, I grew up having hatred against gays but not lesbians, at least not against hot, sexy lesbians.
The question was why are gay men not as accepted as lesbians and I do not know how much I agree with that generalization. I know a lot of straight guys think lesbians are hot or whatever, but when it comes down to it, they will still make comments about girls in a negative way. When I am walking down the street holding a girl’s hand, I will hear comments about having a threesome with whatever drunk guy is yelling at us. If we respond in a negative way, the said drunk man will yell some kind of rude slur back at us. Guys only accept lesbians if they think they can get something out of it to benefit them. It is hard for gay men because guys are usually the ones spitting out nasty comments. Women usually see the gay or lesbian couple and keep their opinions to themselves.
I think that lesbians are more accepted than gay men because naturally, girls are closer. Just friends that are girls can be extremely close and are not considered lesbians. Boys tend to not be as touchy feely as girls and so it is a more surprising sight seeing boys holding hands. It does not bother me in the least bit but either way I think it is because girls are naturally more inclined to be close to their friends, literally. Also, to be honest, I think part of it is because boys like seeing girls hook up with each other.
I do not really feel like lesbians are more excepted than gay men, just that they are not talked about as much so it creates the illusion that they're more accepted. Like it or not, this is a very male dominated country we live in and there is a certain standard of manliness that has been created by our society. So I feel like it is a lot more noticeable when a man fails to meet the requirements to be considered a man by his peers. There's things like being really jacked and muscular, loving sports, liking and being able to drink a lot of beer, etc. I'm talking in general terms here, not for myself or all men especially, but men typically like to objectify women and well what better way to objectify them is there than having to be together. Thats kind of the driving factor behind the entire porn industry, so it makes sense to me.
Speaking of the porn industry, I think that's another reason why people could think that lesbians are more accepted than gay men. Men are the majority of consumers when it comes to porn, so the producers of it will put whatever men like in their movies so they can sell more. Gay men are probably rarely seen in porn because I can't really imagine that any straight man would willingly watch gay sex. I could be wrong but I think that gay men are the only ones who'd really enjoy watching other gay men have sex with each other, but that's their own choice. I really do not know of that many girls who watch porn so I can't really say what they would like to watch.
But I feel like the spotlight of the gay issues is focused so much on men that women are often forgot about until something specific is brought up. Its not that they're accepted more or less than men, they just do not have as much of the focus on them as men do.Their time for scrutiny under the spotlight will come, I'm sure.
All of this makes me think that we put way too much on people in our society to act like part of the whole instead of embracing their individuality and being themselves. Who came up with the previously mentioned manly criteria? I know plenty of girls who like sports and beer, but they are not lesbians by any stretch of the imagination. I also know guys who are more into watching musicals and chick flicks than football or hockey, but they aren't necessarily gay. The whole issue of gay acceptance is pointless, let people be who they want to be, and if they're gay then who cares.
Like so many people have said here so far, it all has to do with our society and the socialization of boys. Our country (if not world) runs on a very patriarchal system and therefore being gay seems to “go against” the idea of men being men, of men holding the most power. Ever since boys are born they are taught to like tough things—hunting, fishing, sports, and the like. And they are “supposed” to like women because in that relationship they are able to be the masculine one, have the power and the final say. However, when a guy is in a same-sex relationship, it almost seems like he’s letting his power go for a more passive role which is “unnatural”. Being with a man could almost seem to be a challenge to the world’s idea of “there can only be one.” One king, one heir, one man. Kind of like a lion’s pride, I guess.
As for more acceptability of lesbian couples, I don’t really know. Part of me wants to say that it has to do with a sort of male fantasy but that just makes me think that there’s a deeper reason behind that fantasy. It must have started somewhere. Where, though, I have no idea.
I agree that lesbians are more acceptable than gays in this society as many other students think. There might be several reasons and phenomenon for explaining this fact. The major fact I think that is because women are more acceptable than men in general which means the society usually don’t refuse whatever women do, but guys. To explain this more detail, women can be either girly or tomboy like men (or something else like both mixed character), but guys should be tough and manlike. If they show a little bit of sensitive or girly character people say ‘it’s gay’. Also when little kids are raised, the parents’ perceptions are different in accord with the sex of their children. For example, when the parents raise their own children, it is perfectly fine if they buy either Barbie dolls or soccer ball for their daughters. However, most parents wouldn’t buy Barbie dolls or other girly dolls for their sons (because it is gay).
I really think this is a rhetorical question, at least all the guys know the answer to this question; there are a lot of reasons why lesbians are more accepted than gays, some are psychological reasons such as men thinking that girls are so desperate for a guy that they are kissing each other, it is just want of those sex fantasies that guys have, also the fact that guys are attracted to girls bodies, lips, so watching them kiss and hold each other is as good as it gets, there is a million other reasons, in fact different men have different reasons but overall lesbians are more accepted that gays.
Lesbians and gay men are a whole different phenomenon. It's hard to pick one main reason why lesbians are generally more accepted, but its lot easier to pick on the facts why gay men are less accepted.
First off men are always seen as more of a threat than women, in regards to daily day to day activities like committing crimes, or more life activities like getting top jobs or being promoted. So it shouldn't be surprising that in regards to the gay community men are considered more of a danger to society. We had an interesting conversation in our discussion class where we talked about why it had been so difficult for gays to be accepted. I brought up the fact that it was common in history and in human dynamics for there always to be a fear of the unknown. It happened with African Americans, then Latinos (predominantly illegal Mexicans), and now its gay people. So knowing that men are always more feared then women, it makes sense for society to be more negligible and ruthless to gay men then lesbians.
Another reason that can be pinpointed is that when men think of lesbians, they think of two super hot females doing porn like things. This is most definitely welcome in a society where the advertising and use of sex is everywhere and the porn business makes more money then many other industries including the video game one. Its more socially acceptable for someone to watch lesbian porn then gay man porn. Just recently at my friends place there was a poster of two females in a very provocative position. It is unimaginable for a poster of two men in a sexual position to be up, or even made.
This leads to another reason why lesbians are more accepted – the fantasy factor. More women fantasize about being with a woman then men fantasize about being a man. The coveted threesome with one man and two females is prevalent in almost every heterosexuals mind, while finding a women or man with the fantasy of a threesome with two men and one woman is frowned upon, and brings up thoughts of rape and being taken advantage of.
Emasculation is another reason why lesbians are more accepted. As blunt as it is, no one wants to see two men making out with each other, while the thought of two females is intriguing. Womens bodies are looked at more as a piece of art, and sometimes it is interesting to see two pieces of arts.
Violence can also be a reason. Certain people want to always use violence as a solution to problems, so beating up a gay man is more acceptable then beating up a woman of course.
I think it's because as women it's natural for men to see us together hugged up because as children we were socialized to be these gentle creatures and it's not really shocking; if you see to girls walking down the street you automatically think they are friends so it's harder to see if they are just friends or not, but it's not difficult to distinguish gay men from friends I believe.
Why are lesbians more accepted than gay men?
Because most men love lesbians while fearing the social repercussions of being a gay man/associating with gay men.
In my 21 years of life experience I have never met a man who disapproved of two hot women having sexual relations. In fact most guys I know, including myself, LOVE lesbians. Why?
1.What’s more arousing than one superhot naked female body…that’s right…TWO superhot naked female bodies.
2.The novelty factor. Watching two chicks make out at a party makes guys cheer. Why? Because it’s not normal. At parties it’s often a sign of drunkenness and promiscuity…two things the average college guys can’t get enough of.
3.This one’s a longshot, but I’ll mention it anyway. Why else are two hot girls who aren’t afraid to mess around with each other hot? Because it leads to the thought that, ”wow if I can seduce one of these lesbian/bisexuals…perhaps I can fulfill my ultimate guy fantasy…a threesome with two hot girls! Giggity goo!
Being gay is social suicide in most male friendship groups, especially in middle school/high school and usually into adulthood
1. Being gay, is often interpreted as being the antithesis of manly. Gays are often shunned in high school by the rest of the “heterosexual” male population. They usually just end up having a shitload of female friends.
2. That said, if you are friends with gays/support gays, you will be interested as being gay yourself by many guys and this will often result in being shunned from the heterosexual male community.
I think part of the reason homophobia runs rampant in male circles is in part because traditional masculinity is based almost entirely on the goal of seducing as many beautiful women as possible. Why do guys go to the gym, pick up a guitar, or play high school football. Yes, its partially because they love those activities, but a lot of it has to do with the perceived increase in seduction abilities by people who are really good at those things. Furthermore, being attracted to females is such a core factor in the construction of traditionally male personality that to NOT be attracted to women makes it very difficult to assimilate with the rest of the heterosexual male population. It would be like an avid anime player who hates sports trying to befriend the meatheads at the gym. They simply have very little in common. For better or for worse, liking big titties and wanting to fuck hot bitches is so important in a heterosexual males life, especially if they think about sex every 10 seconds or whatever the myth is. For gay men, this means they have a much harder time finding personality traits in common with most heterosexual men and that’s why I believe its very hard to them to integrate in the heterosexual male community.
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The paradox between the wider acceptance of lesbian relations as opposed to gay relations seems to be rooted in the notion of masculinity inherent throughout the world. Almost every culture in the world is patriarchal. This is a fact born of the gender roles established by early societies and nature itself. Despite the relatively recent efforts of the Women’s Lib movement, males still dominate society with a convincing margin. Consequently, masculinity is held to a higher, more rigid esteem than femininity.
We see this everyday with false expressions of masculinity by men; we buy Hummer’s and grills to compensate for the ever decreasing role masculinity plays in our lives. In the age of industry and, more recently, the internet, a machine can function as a man and a computer eliminates the physical dominance enjoyed by men over women for millennia. With the death of masculinity comes the dying effort to preserve it; through this lens, we see the overwhelming discomfort our society has with homosexuality.
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Gay men threaten the very notion of “man over woman” in a way that only highlights the ever diminishing actual correlation. Conversely, lesbian relationships only further the idea of femininity. A lesbian couple acts as a reinforcement of femininity while a gay couple is perceived with the opposite effect. The culture of male dominance throughout the world’s history seems to be the distinguishing factor that explains it. Men have been in a position of power for long enough that we have been able turn this particular issue into a matter of social discomfort.
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Nevertheless, this does nothing to explain why gay men have been persecuted for thousands of years whereas lesbian relationships have not. I think the actual answer can be found in the biological reality of the situation. Gorillas and other great apes are the closest things to human-animals that exist. Within these populations, there exist harems that are made up of one dominant male ape and several female apes. Although lesbian relationships are not well documented within these groups, they do offer insight into the acceptance of multiple female relationships in comparison to multiple male relationships. These ideals seem to have carried over into Homo sapiens and human culture.
I think that this is a pretty easy question to answer based on the fact that in our society men are almost always portrayed as macho and powerful, while women are soft and loving. It is easy for straight men to accept lesbians basically because most feel that it is sexy to see two women together and in many cases the two girls don't even have to be lesbians. I've seen plenty of straight girls make out pretty much for no reason (alcohol). However, if two guys randomly made out they would automatically be labeled as gay, and sadly a lot of straight men basically think of gay men as women, except not attractive.
I think that society is not going to change anytime soon when it comes to this. Lesbians are women caring for women, and gays are men caring for men. Society is clearly more comfortable watching women show affections towards each other. I think this is because women are initially taught to care and be kind, when boys are taught to be strong and firm. To me, it doesn’t matter either way.
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I first want to start of by saying how great the class was the other day I thought it was very interesting. Now the reason that I decide to answer this question is one I know the person who asked it. And another reason is that I thought it was an interesting question. But I decided to change it around a bit too why is it more allowed in society when to girls hook up with each other then when two guys do. Think lesbian woman are more accepting than gay men because I think woman in general are more accepting about sexuality, and freedom of making choices, and choosing the way an individual wants to live. Like girls have no problem being around each other naked or changing in front of echoer when guys are the opposite they don’t want to change or see each other naked. Now especially when you are at parties guys are always cheering for girls to make out with each other but you never hear girls tell guys to make out with each other. In society it is seen as “sexy” or a turn on when guys see girls kissing girls. Girls that are not lesbians are often found kissing or doing other inappropriate things just to please guys. Whereas, when girls see guys kissing guys, it is a total turn off. No one really seems to find it attractive when two men kiss for entertainment. Now by this I am only talking about guys or girls making out with each other I am not talking anything more then that. I feel that people in society are not more accepting to girls being lesbians and to guys being gay. They feel the same way about both of them; they just like it when two girls who are straight want to hook up. It’s not the same when they are lesbians doing it. I am not saying this is the way that I feel I am saying that is the way society is. I also feel that the media or celebrities play a role in this starting with Kate Perry who came out with the song” I kissed a girl” it goes like this I kissed a girl and I liked it The taste of her cherry chap stick, I kissed a girl just to try it I hope my boyfriend don't mind it, It felt so wrong It felt so right don't mean I'm in love tonight I kissed a girl and I liked it I liked it. SO when singers are writing there songs about this then girls are tempted to try it out because they are curious. So that is the reason I feel that it is ok for girls to make out with girls in public but nor for guys to make out with guys.
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I think being gay or lesbian in general is more acceptable these days. With celebrities coming out of the closet and advocating for the LGBT community, plus all the media attention these types of issues has increased the awareness of these types of issue. In terms of Lesbian acts being more acceptable than Gay male act, I think the media has been able to turn the image of two women kissing into a heterosexual act. What I mean is, when you see two women kissing in club photos or movies (whose focus is not LGBT issues) the impression given off is that they are drunk and trying to impress the men around them. For some reason the idea of ‘girl on girl action’ is a turn on for some men. If anyone actually understand the reasoning behind this let me know. The impression you are given through movies and TV is that these girls are going to turn around and make-out with the closest guy. But in real life this in not true, the very concept of being a lesbian is that you have no interest in sexual interest in men. I think that the idea that any women can be completely uninterested in being with a man is very hard for some to grasp. Think if the stigma that is was previously associated with women not married by 25 in the 1950s? That stigma for the 25 year old has been lifted so long as they find a husband in the near future, but what about for those women that never marry? There is still a strong idea that there is something wrong with this person. And I’m not talking about someone who married and then divorced, I mean a true spinster.
As for taking just Lesbians and Gays being treated differently, think about all the stereotypes and expectation for men and women that are still relevant today. Women are still portrayed in the weaker position, men the more dominant. Men are seen to be rough and tough, with ample aggression to fuel both. Women are the emotional ones, passive, and in some groups expected to be superficial. Women are also afforded a larger degree of flexibility in these expected attributes. For woman to be a tomboy, or aggressive in a certain situation is acceptable. But for a man to be timid, girlie, or passive it is a much more serious infraction of gender norms. Many of the stereotypes attributed to Gay men are at odds with the roles and expectation for all men. Who hasn’t seen the flamboyant gay sidekick on TV? He is weak, passive, interested in women’s fashion, etc.
Lesbians are more excepted because the thought of a woman not ever needing a man is hard for many to imagine. They also have more flexible gender norms than men.
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I am not sure about lesbian couples being more accepted by the society over male couples. In my opinion it’s more about people not noticing lesbian couples when they are on the street. Like many people mentioned most men don’t have a problem with seeing girls kiss each other. On the other hand seeing two guys kissing is a major disturbance for most guys. Also girls in general are more comfortable with showing emotions towards others, I guess it has to do with how they are raised. Girls are more sharing with their friends in early ages but for guys it is different. They are raised to be ‘tough’ meaning not to show emotions because it is seen as a sign of weakness. So when you think about this it is not uncommon to see two girls that are friends holding hands, hugging, and kissing. Just think about how close friends greet each other girls would most likely to hug each other and the guys would just shake hand or something like that. Live is pretty much feminized so most things related to showing affection towards another are seen ‘girly’ by most men. This is also the reason for men being generally pretty insecure around gays. Like I said before I think that lesbian couples are not being accepted by the society over male gay couples but they are they are able to appear in public and display a certain level of affection for one another without getting too much attention from the people around them because the society is used to seeing females show their feelings for one another. Obviously this doesn’t go for all the females, but when you think about it most people would jump to the conclusion that two guys are gay when they see them holding hands on the street. On the other hand when you think about it I think when people think about lesbian couples they tend to think about what can be called ‘lipstick’ lesbians which basically look like any other female but I think that masculine lesbian couples would attract the same kind of attention that male gay couples do in the public.
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Sometimes I feel like lesbians are more accepted only if they are good looking lesbians. It’s a turn on for guys I guess because there is not just one girl, but there are two!!! But what if it was two ugly lesbians? Would guys still be turned on? I don’t really think so. But even myself like if I see two girls kissing then I don’t really think anything of it, but when I see two guys I tend to turn my head. I don’t have anything against gays, but for some reason I just don’t like to look. That’s just me though.
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First off, I don’t think this is true by any means. But if I did, I would use the “male gaze” explanation. Both women and men are conditioned to see the world through the eyes of a man. I mean think about it, when is the last time you saw a male nude in a movie, compared to the amount of nude women you’ve seen. And even further, if you were watching this movie with a nude man, how would your male friends react? My guess is they would act grossed out. But if two girls were kissing this wouldn’t be the case, and most girls wouldn’t even flinch to see a woman naked.
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I'm not sure I completely agree with this statement, perhaps the male stereotype of tall, blonde lesbians appearing in teenage television shows are more accepted amongst men, but in general I wouldn't neccessaily agree that gay men are more acception than gay girls. However, in answering the question, I can guess as to why gay men are sometimes more accepted. Firstly, men are stereotypically less accepting, and more cautious around gay men, perhaps as they see a gay aquaintence as a threat to the male masculinity. Secondly, gay men are perhaps more of a contrast to their straight male counterparts. Gay women are less recognisable in many cases, maybe because women, whether straight or gay are inherently more openly caring and emotional, whereas these qualities are thought to be possessed primarily amongst gay men, contrasted against the stereotypical, hard, macho heterosexual male.
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Well, why does society accept lesbians more over gays? I see society today as a man’s world, where men still rule and hold the power in many aspects in life, especially the ideology of society of what is accepted and what is not. I want to mention that this is not at all facts, just what I believe from own experiences and interaction with society. Men in society are supposed to be machos, bread winners, protectors of families, gentleman’s, etc… Women on the other hand, fall under the umbrella of men still seen as minorities to men, not yet equally leveled to men in many important aspects; e.g. employment. I know this might seem like old fashion, traditional ideas, but for the most part it carries on to this day, not to the extremes as before, but still very relevant. An important aspect mentioned by Sam that I heard, that was correlated to this understanding of lesbians being more accepted, was men want and ask for more sex than women and holds true because the porn industry is for the majority supported by men. Just knowing these small ideas and men ideology still holds dominant in society men accept the fact that women could mingle and have sexual relationship between the same sex because it is seen accepted by man oppose to gay men. Woman are seen as passionate and sensitive than man so for the most part it’s conforming to see woman with other woman. Knowing that lesbian are more accepted than gay man to be accepted in society, it is a easier pathway for woman to come out of the closet into society, a easier transition than gay man who might experience harsher acceptance by society. Remember these are lifestyles that go against the norm and those who want to get accepted and receive the same rights as everyone must act upon it and not expect those, in this part who are heterosexual to do anything, but homosexuals to educate the public why they are no different than the rest. It is for the reason we see those open celebrity lesbians coming out of the closet and being open to the public about their beliefs; e.g. Ellen DeGeneres. This in return helps the public understand these lifestyles. Oppose to gay men who come out it provokes controversy and talk these gay men who for the most part are accept by the women population, but not the men society. It is unfortunate overall as society to understand or comprehend that they are humans too, no different than us, who hold 99.9% of our biological genes, but we judge on appearance and don’t want to accept anything abnormal that goes against our moral beliefs.
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I believe that the difference between the acceptance of homosexual males and lesbian females stems from each genders respective assumed roles and responsibilities. I think that women are traditionally seen as loving, caring, and accepting, whereas men are generally seen (and typically hold up a reputation to be) strong, tough, and responsible, as they are usually projected to be the eventual head of a family.
I believe that men receive women as being all of the qualities that I mentioned previously. Therefore, when I, and most men see two women together, we see that they still care for each other and that this does not stray too far from our initial thoughts of how we imagine women to be, so we are not too misunderstanding of this relationship. When women see a relationship of the same type, I believe they are understanding of this as well, as this is what they are accustomed to as accepting and caring individuals. I feel that this holds truth whether the relationship is two men or two women together. When some men, no doubt myself, see a man with another man, we respond by feeling disgusted. To me, this person has abandoned his initial responsibilities assigned to him as a man at birth. Additionally, we feel that the pride that he is to be upholding because of his decisions puts a burden upon us to show him more respect. Men are usually individuals who reserve their appreciation instinctively, and for someone to request that we show them extra appreciation seems unacceptable. It appears, to us, that these individuals are no longer responsible for themselves and what they are though to accomplish in this world, and it is not taken in the same light that a lesbian relationship is.
Yes, this is only my reaction, and it contains stereotypes and assumptions that can easily be refuted, but these are simply my feelings, and I believe that they reflect the opinions of many other men that feel the same way when they see a homosexual man.
Additionally, I believe that the phenomenon of flaunting and flamboyance associated with homosexuals holds a much stronger connection to homosexual men than it does to lesbian women. I believe that many men respond to this flamboyance and pride simply as if it is an intrusion. As Sam said in class, these individuals are not making an attempt to try and stand out, but the pride that they hold and the respect and additional reinforcement that most attempt to acquire, I feel, almost puts extra pressure on straight individuals because they are inadvertently asked to show extra respect to this culture, even though this was a choice made on each homosexual individuals own basis.
Overall, I believe that if the initial assumption of straight men regarding homosexual men were different, than they may be treated differently. For now, however, I am afraid that I will be “calling it as I see it.”
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I believe that lesbians are more accepted than gay men for a couple of reasons. One is that I believe that being a man is looked at characteristics of being tough, loving sports, and chasing women. Most stereotypes of gay men have none of those. They are looked down upon as inferior to the straight male. I don’t think they will ever be really acceptable by straight men. Most straight guys would tell you that they enjoy watching two girls together, because it’s most straight men’s fantasies. So, I don’t think that gay men will ever be fully accepted by straight males or by anybody, even if things change.
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I think that lesbians are more accepted than gay men because our society is traditionally male dominated. Because of this, at some point in time, some men believed it to be "cool" for two women to "get off" to each other. On top of this, homophobia tends to be strictly aimed at gay male couples. I have never heard, or seen, any homophobic reactions towards a lesbian couple. I am not homophobic, and even when I think of that term, I envision someones reaction toward a gay male. I think if straight women were interested in gay males as much as straight men are interested in lesbians, things would be different.
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My believe as to why lesbians are accepted as homosexuals by society more than gay men is not something that I can really back up. It is mostly based on my belief and guess that the majority of prejudice and hatred towards homosexuals in the United States comes from males, or at the very least they are the most vocal about it for whatever reason. It is also important I think to understand that most people act at least in some ways hypocritically, and I do not mean this only about men. As much as we may not like to admit we have hypocritical tendencies that pop up as we try to justify things that we like and dislike but we cannot explain why. I believe it is this hypocrisy by the more vocal and upset male population that does not support gay rights in this country that has led us to this question. This particular group has for whatever reason been able to justify lesbian couples in their minds. I think this is for three reasons. The first being in that in our society and culture it is looked down upon for a man to attack a woman, both physically and verbally. It is not looked at as classy or gentlemanly so males try to stay away from this issue as they do not want to appear as if they are picking a fight with someone who traditional society would say can’t defend themselves. The second reason is that certain men, for whatever reason, are sexually turned on by two women who are together. It seems exotic and taboo as it is something new in this culture. It would seemingly go against masculinity and heterosexuality to have two girls doing whatever it might be together and not see it as attractive (could be as simple as 2 girls are more than one). I feel like some guys would be looked down upon by others for speaking out against something that to some is an exciting exotic turn-on. The third and final reason is that men who are against homosexuality, particularly those, who could be labeled as ‘homophobes’, have nothing to ‘fear’ from lesbians. They do not have to worry about lesbians coming on to them at a bar for example the same way they may fear the same actions from a gay man (even if this is not a real threat to them). I think it would be interesting to see how men’s views towards lesbians and gay males differ from women’s views towards gay males and lesbians. For some reason I think the different sexes would view things differently and for whatever reason I feel as though women are a little more supportive of different lifestyles or at least are less vocal in their disagreement with it.
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I think that there are a few reasons why lesbians are more ‘accepted’ in the world we live in than gay men. First, and most importantly, I think that the porn industry has taken advantage of a natural phenomenon amongst males in which they like to see two beautiful women fooling around. I mean, if I had to guess, I would say that well over sixty percent of males watch porn, maybe not on a regular basis but nonetheless. When you take into account how many porn websites and porn movies are available to the general public, it’s hard to argue the fact that they push for female on female action. For some reason men love seeing it and I do not see that changing anytime soon. Although there is ‘gay’ porn (male on male) out there, I feel as if no straight male would ever sit on their computer and watch it. However, I can’t speak for ‘bisexual’ males, or anyone who is testing the waters and may be interested in that sort of pornography. Second, I feel as though gay men are so much easier to target than lesbians. For instance, some gay men are very feminine and really put themselves out there. It’s no fault of theirs they’re just being who they were born to be. However when you openly display your sexual orientation like that, you’re kind of asking for trouble. It can be quite dangerous to come out of the closet, for some reason in our society some people feel like they have to make gay men fear for their safety, which just isn’t fair. Many gay males are physically assaulted just because of the fact that they are gay. This really isn’t seen as much amongst lesbians because quite frankly, no male, or should I say no male with a soul is going to savagely beat up a woman just for being a lesbian. When it comes to lesbians, I feel as though it’s harder to pick them out amongst the crowd. I personally don’t think I would be able to pick out a lesbian from a group of ten or more people. My third and final point has to do with gays and lesbians in the limelight. I feel as if gay men are more likely to fight out against opposition just as Harvey Milk did. I rarely hear of any lesbian women starting ‘revolutions’ to the extent that Milk did in San Francisco. This leads to a more vicious opposition against gay males. The fact that you’re a male, and you’re gay is just more dangerous in society today due to the fact that males love to fight for what they believe in, and when it comes to the gay/lesbian discussion sometimes that fight turns physical.
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I think that unless you are considering the religious view of sexuality, the whole idea of accepting homosexuality is somewhat based on whether you find it gross to think about or not. I believe that when asking a guy’s opinion about this, the majority is more comfortable accepting lesbians over gays, because there is a not-so-secret fact that straight men tend to be turned on at the thought of lesbians. If the thought is something that turns them on, it makes sense that most men would accept lesbianism. The reverse is not true about gay men, though, since picturing two gay men together is not a pleasant thought for straight men. I’m not involved in a lot of conversations about this, but I heard a few girls say they wouldn’t be turned on by two gay men together the way guys usually are about two lesbians together.
Gender roles are a clear factor in the acceptance of one’s sexuality. Since the beginning of time, society has portrayed men as the tough, hardworking type that provides for their families. Obviously times have changed but that unwritten rule stays branded in many minds. When imagining characteristics of a gay man, most people think of the stereotypical one who tends to act girly and play the role of the female. A male with feminine qualities breaks that unwritten rule and is not something that society can easily accept. Other perceptions come into play, too. Few would assume that a long-bearded Harley rider could possibly be gay, and most people are more comfortable not knowing. I think it’s harder to capture what the stereotypical lesbian is like or explain how it would change her gender role. However, I think that when you compare the two, what stands out the most is how men are supposed to be strong and powerful, and being gay makes a male “weak” and unable to play the part that society expects him to. Girls on the other hand, are allowed to break out of their gender roles and be tomboys.
In elementary school, kids called each other “gay” as an insult. I’m sure that something like this stays locked in the minds of children at such a young age. If calling someone “gay” is meant to insult, then it must mean it would be terrible for somebody to actually be gay. And since the term “gay” is used to describe men more often than women, some may think that it’s only unacceptable for a man to be gay and not necessarily a problem if a woman is gay.
Still, I believe that porn is the number one reason that lesbians are much more accepted than gay men. The porn industry puts two attractive girls together and represents them as typical lesbians, so society may collectively be stereotyping lesbians as beautiful and sexually attractive.
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This is a question that will have varying answers depending on who you are asking. A Dude will say they find it much easier to accept lesbian Women- as they are expected to, and Women will say the opposite. However, if we look at the exceptions here, chances are you will find that there are more Women who would also say they find it easier to see lesbians, than you will find guys who say they prefer to see gay men. This, to me, indicates that not only guys, but a lot of Women also tend to prefer they see lesbian p.d.a. instead of gay men p.d.a.. And I have a theory of why this may be- though it only addresses the exceptions. I think this is an example of a underlying truth about human genetics and a hidden truth about the history of mankind- that Women, in fact, are not only more aesthetically pleasing to the eye than men, but are also created to be closer to the Divine. It is my belief that Women are God's chosen temples and that they should be praised as such. It's like no one even pays attention to the fact that Women can literally create life in their bellies- that they can perform Miracles- with a mere minute or so of a guy's time and erection. The beauty of Female body, to me, makes the idea of men who prefer men incomprehensible. How can you give up the perfection of a Woman for the imperfection of a man.
So for the Women who are more accepting of lesbians, whether they know it or not, I think its because their eyes serve them well in that they subconsciously know that Women are much more beautiful. Heterosexual men sure as hell know it. For those guys that prefer men- maybe it's genetics, I don't know, but I tend to think its more nurture than nature that affects their sexuality. The environment in which we are raised makes us everything we are. If you see your Dad kissing another guy, you can't tell me it won't make you at least consider being a chip off the old block. The gay men/Women who have acted in the likeliness of their opposite gender since they could first walk, OKAY- maybe that is genetics. But the late bloomers? Nah- something changed you along the way. Just my personal belief.
Don't get me wrong, I respect all mankind and accept everyone for whatever they want to be. As a straight man, perhaps I'm biased, but I think my opinion could hold some ground amongst some scholars. I just can not even begin to understand how a guy could walk around and not look right past dudes in passing to the cute girl in the distance. Maybe I'm ignorant, you tell me. I think it's a fair opinion. I LOVE WOMEN, sue me.
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They are hotter. Lets face it, women are hotter than men and to be completely honest they kind of pick up for our slack when it comes to looks. They care more about their dress, their appearance, and the little things that guys are too ignorant to notice.When people say “there’s a hot couple,” 99 percent of the time it is because the woman is drop dead gorgeous. I’ve heard that phrase before and looked to find that the guy was ugly, but I don’t recall ever hearing that and thinking to myself, “wow the guy really carries the looks in that relationship.”
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In today’s society LGBT awareness and acceptance has gone significantly up in the past decade. In past years many LGBT people would walk down the street together and be discriminated against and I don’t think this is a huge issue anymore. I do feel that lesbians are more socially acceptable then gay males however. First things first, women are extremely affectionate just in general. Two girls could be walking down the street holding hands and I would think nothing of it. This doesn’t mean that they are automatically lesbians. Many girls are very close with one another and walk and hold hands or have their arms wrapped around each other and this is an everyday occurrence. Now the counter argument would be that if you see two guys walking down the street, you can with pretty good certainty say that they are gay. Non gay men do not just walk next to a close friend and grab the guy next to his hand. This is all about masculinity.
Men are always trying to be as macho as possible and are not going to put themselves into that situation unless they are gay. Women on the other hand could do this at anytime and I wouldn’t think twice about it. Sam had many statistics on the board during class and many of them were shocking, especially the stat between gay men and lesbians. Many more women have tried and experimented sexual acts with other women then opposed to men with men. Yet when looking at actual gay males to gay females, the numbers are reversed. The percent of females was around 4% where men was up around 8 or 9%. Since more people in society have been exposed to and see more “lesbian acts” many more people are open to it. You can go to a party and everyone in the party would be cheering for two girls to make out. This doesn’t mean these girls are lesbians it just means that guys like to see girls making out with other girls. Now you would never go into a party where everyone would be yelling for two guys to make out. That just doesn’t happen. Guys are also very vocal and want to see girls together. Girls on the other hand aren’t really all about guy on guy action. They might be, but they aren’t announcing how much they want to see it where guys are screaming it. I feel that in today’s society that lesbians are much more accepted then gay males. When I say that I mean that even though not every girl holding hands with every girl is a lesbian, I’m saying that many people are more accustomed to seeing that and in turn are more accepting of lesbians.
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I first want to start off by saying that I agree with this belief that lesbians are more accepted then gay men. I feel that this all boils down to how straight men feel about the situation. Women seem to be a lot more understanding on the issue of accepting gay society, both male and female then men are. I feel that they are more likely accept both gay men and gay women than men are. Now here is the key to the higher acceptance norm for lesbians than gay males. Straight men are more likely to accept lesbians then they are to accept gay men. Straight women are more likely to accept both which offsets the balance. Why are straight men more accepting of lesbians then gay men? I believe that it has to do with most straight men find lesbians as a turn on. They like seeing women kiss each other and don't want to see gay men demonstrate affection for each other. Also because they are males they may not understand how someone can be gay. How someone can be attracted to another male. I know I don't understand it. The lack of understanding may cause a lack of acceptance and as a society people are taught that being gay is wrong and immoral and usually when they are taught this gay men are usually used as an example. I know I used to think that people who are gay chose to be that way and usually for rebellious reasons or because they were confused. I have grown to start thinking that it isn't a choice, because honestly why would someone choose to be put down by society all the time, if anything I feel gay people would pretend to be straight. I feel that the lack of acceptance from straight men is the reason why it seems that society accepts lesbians more then they do of gay men. I feel an interesting question would be what would society be more likely to accept, a gay male couple raising a child or a lesbian couple raising a child? I feel that society would be more comfortable with a lesbian couple for the fact that women are seen as more nurturing. There could also be a side argument that a gay male couple would be better to raise a child because a child may need a strong father figure or protector in his/her life. I'm not too sure about this and just thought I'd throw it out there since it kind of just came to me and I'm sure that's what Sam would do. Kind of just kick it out there and see what else people think.
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I don’t have the statistics to prove my theory, but I think it is widely known that men view two women engaging in sexual activities together as something good. Most men watch straight porn, but they also watch lesbian porn as well. It is something that society has made acceptable. When you reverse the situation and it is two men together, women are much less likely to be attracted to that. Women wouldn’t like to watch gay male porn because it’s not something that attracts them.
This could be because men are much hornier than women are. When a man see’s a lesbian he sees a woman who happens to like other women. She’s a woman first and a lesbian second. When a man sees a gay person, he sees a gay person first and man second. It is just another double standard that is accepted in society. Just like a man who has sex with a lot of woman is respected by other men, but a woman who has sex with a lot of men is disrespected by women.
I also feel as though gay males are more flamboyant and obvious to spot than a lesbian. Gay men dress differently than normal men and tend to speak differently. Now, I don’t mean every gay person, but the stereotype is there, and someone that fits the stereotype is shunned by society (or most men for that matter). When I hear someone is gay, most of the time it doesn’t surprise me, there are hints (not always but a lot of times) that give it away. Be it the way he acts, talks, or dresses. With women it is much more difficult to spot. That’s the reason I think gay men are much more discriminated against than lesbian women
I also feel as though a man who has had sexual relations with another man is gay. I don’t believe that you can have sexual relations with another man and not be gay or bi-sexual. The idea that you were just experimenting is not something I believe in. On the other hand, a woman who engages in sexual relations with another woman isn’t automatically lesbian or bi-sexual. Because of how society has placed its values, a woman who engages with sexual relations with another person isn’t making a big statement. It is almost expected when you go out to a fraternity party in Penn State that you will see two girls kissing. When a man does engage in that sort of behavior with another man, he is making a big statement about himself, because it isn’t accepted in society. So therefore he has most likely thought about his actions and made a firm decision. A straight man isn’t going to engage in that kind of behavior with another man, if he knew for sure he wasn’t gay.
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I think why lesbians are more accepted than gay men are for the reason the woman are more accepting to sexuality than men. A lot of women in society hang out with gay men. Is it because gay men do not feel accepted by straight men? The answer is yes, gay men do not feel accepted around straight men. Many times straight men have a macho perspective in how they should act around other human beings. Therefore, gay men are stereo type as being feminine, which many gay men are feminine. I’m sorry to be so forward but most the time stereotypes are right. I do not know one feminine man that is not gay. So why would a man want to be around some else who is not like him? It simple, men want to hang out with other “manly” men.
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Maybe it comes to nature because men are used to making moves on women sexually and straight men are afraid of gay men because they feel they may be hit on by them. The comment I just said is a common answer for men who do not like gay men. Many times gay men do not hit on straight men but let’s be honest, gay men make mistakes too. So there are occurrences where straight men are hit on be other men in a bar where the straight man feels uncomfortable and threatened. As much as people see gay rights as a frontier to the future, there will always be problems with it socially. The issue of gay marriage will always be in controversy.
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Although women are more acceptable than men, women still have the same playing field of obstacles that gay men must face. In most states lesbian women cannot get married. The state calls it a union. Why are lesbians more accepted in society? Most men do not mind when they see two girls making out r exchanging sexual intercourse. Many porn industries thrive off men buying their videos of lesbian porn. Lesbian porn excites straight men because they feel that one woman is great and two women are even better. Now there is a trend for straight women to make out with other straight women. I think women feel more open to it because men are more open to it. The bottom line is that straight women want to impress straight men. If straight men like to see two girls kiss then straight women will do it. Then why don’t straight men kiss? Straight men feel that they need to macho all the time in society and a gay kiss is feminine. There will be no result or resolution to gay marriage in the near future. The baby boomer generation must pass then a new accepting generation will take public office.
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I do not completely agree that lesbians are more accepted. I think it has to do with the particular lesbians. I had old lesbians as neighbors and when I told my guy friends they were very excited until they found out they weren't playboy bunny hot. I do agree that in general the idea of lesbians is more acceptable then gays. I think it simply has to do with the fact that most guys are homophobes and are brought up that being gay is wrong and lesbians are hot. I think part of this has to do with the thought of them having a sexual experience with another guy. The thought of them 'catching' just makes it too much to bear. Movies promote lesbians and demote gays.
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This is a question that I think you just need to look around to see evidence of. We live in an alpha-male dominated culture in the United States, so of course lesbians will be more accepted that gay men. Gay men are seen as the antithesis of this strictly American concept of "a strong work ethic, individuality, determination", etc. I am not advocating that it is right, but I think that it is a fair assessment of why things are this way. What is better to a straight man than a girl who digs another girl? Not much, except maybe if she likes guys too. Therefore, all the stigmas that homosexuality is wrong are largely directed towards men, because there is something that society says is alright about lesbianism but not homosexuality for males in this country. Another reason is that the American ideal of a man is so "masculine". In European countries like Italy, Spain, and France, it is alright for a man to let his guard down so to speak. He can pay attention to his looks, his diet, and his tastes in wine, whatever, without the fear of being called a "fag". I think this stigma has come about in this country because of the insecurity that most men have here. Gay are discriminated against because men are afraid that they will come after them or maybe that they will be attracted to them. We have these outlandish standards in this country of "what makes a man a man". He needs to drive a truck, eat a lot of meat, and watch football, whatever. It is ridiculous and it leads to such an impediment of individuality. My mother raised me, so I like to think that I have a more androgynous view on these sorts of things. I cook, read GQ, play soccer, eat organic, and I have a beautiful girlfriend on my arm, not another dude. Americans cannot see the in between on matters like this. I agree whole wholehearted with Sam that we are all in the middle. If someone is good looking, they are good looking, no matter what sex that they are. The man has throughout history been the provider, risk taker, etc. for his family. Times have changed though, and while I still love being a man, the need to grunt and beat my chest does not have to go along with it. I think what makes a man is an open mind, responsibility, and compassion among other things. All of this judgment needs to stop. We should let people be whoever the hell that they want to be, those that criticize this freedom are truly the insecure. Straight, gay, bi, whatever…we are all human beings above anything else, so we should really start to act like we are.
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I think that this is very common amongst most people and I think that is true because lesbians are more sometimes accepted to the public than gay men are. I think its simply because in this generation I think that many female girls are just getting completely comfortable with just kissing friends that some of them would claim that they gay but not really because this whole “gay” thing amongst females is honestly a big fad. I think that when girls do things that are considered “gay” they get away with it mostly because females can play both sides of the fence. I think that when we hear music saying things like “I kissed a girl and I liked it” stuff like this just makes it okay to go around kissing girls and not be perceived as gay. I think that people have a hard time accepting gay men because of the negative criticism that gay men went through I mean every time we think of a gay couple the first thing that usually pops up in to peoples head are two gay men. I think that since men have been so publicly criticized that its just hard for people to accept that. I think its unfair because I mean I don’t have a problem with gay people but the sight of two dudes making out in publicly is creepy but I check my self because its not my business and I think that’s what people need to do. I think that if people would simply mind there own business and not really worry about the next person we would be more accepting because who are we to judge for some ones happiness. That’s why particularly I never really had a problem with any type of gay people because I look at it live your life. Life’s to short to be sitting here judging groups of people and why we don’t accept certain people I think its unfair because we’re all equal and pretty much everyone wants to be happy and just live their lives they way they should. I think we should all just do as we –please and not worry about what the next person says. I think that gay men should be openly accepted to the public just as much as the lesbian population is much accepted as well. I think that if everyone were open minded people that we would be more tolerant and accepting of others peoples sexuality and not really care what other people think because at the end of the day it shouldn’t matter who you are because were all striving to be happy in the very end so lets just love live and be happy.
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Firstly, I would like to say that I completely agree with you and you're awareness of the fact that lesbians seem to be more accepted than gay males. I don't know about other countries but in America this definitely tends to be the case. I think that the reason for this is due to one main thing; people's perceptions due to the media and society as a whole.
The media influences all of us whether we like it or not…there's really no escaping it. We see a lot in society and the media lots of movies, music, pop culture, and television. These things at one point or another have all talked about gays and lesbians. And typically when talking about this topic there are inferences portrayed and the image that female on female is better than male on male. Usually we see the hilarious, teen comedy with some douche bag guy (like Stifler from American Pie) who is constantly talking about sex and "girl on girl" action and how amazing it is. This in itself influences us over time because we see it's occurrence over and over.
I also think that because we are seeing this in movies and television so often females who are lesbians or even girls who are just sexually curious are more likely to express it in public areas than males because of the fact that it's typically seen as "acceptable". Because there are more females than males who typically show their PDA this also contributes to the popular thought that lesbians are more accepted than men.
I think it's stupid and truly ignorant if we can't recognize that this isn't true in America. I can even admit that I fall into the category of people who can relate and think this way. I know that if I saw 2 women kissing I wouldn't have as big of a reaction as I would if I saw 2 men kissing. I don't necessarily think this is the right mentality or the right way to think but it's reality and people need to realize and accept the fact that this is going on instead of living in denial.
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I don’t really agree that lesbians are more accepted than gay men. I feel that gay men are more out there and seen more often than gay women. In the media with celebrities and public figures, I think gay men are more prominent. In the media the only gay women I can think of is Ellen Degeneres, but men, there are so many I can think of. I am not sure as to why but I have seen men come out of the closet and state they are gay more often than women. I have a lot more friends or acquaintances that are male and gay than female. Actually, when I think about it, I only know one girl who is actually a lesbian when I know a lot of men who are gay. I am not sure if this has to do with the group that I associate with since I am a dancer and often has a lot of gay men, but I definitely see more gay men than women. As for it being more “accepted” to be a gay female versus male, I don’t know if I think that is true. In general I feel that women are more accepting of people. I feel that women could understand why someone, male or female, is gay. But straight men on the other hand, can not seem to accept or understand why a man would want to be with another man. I feel that straight men are not accepting of when males are gay. But I feel that straight men are accepting of females being gay because they have this fantasy of women being together. Although I have never watched a porno video, of what I am told, a woman being intimate with each other is a common thing in heterosexual porn, not just homosexual videos. I feel like a woman being gay is often associated with the fantasies seen in these videos, so men would tend to accept and understand why women would be with other women. Men think that a woman being together is for a show and to turn other men on. I really don’t think they see that women are being together because they actually love each other and are gay. So I disagree that people are more accepting of women being gay than males. I think that men are seen a lot more in the gay community as well as are more open about being gay. I am not sure if this is just their personalities but gay men have a stereotype to being very flamboyant about their sexuality. Where as women are seen less often in the gay community, but are more accepted by straight males for being lesbians because they have seen those images in the sexual videos they watch.
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First off, I would like to state that I completely agree with the statement being made behind the posed question, that society in general is much more accepting of lesbian couples than homosexual male couples. Many of the previous authors of these comments are basing their opinions off of the well-known fact that lesbians, and women in general, are a much more accepting gender population, especially about sexuality and the liberty of making free choices, than men and gay men. And yes, women are notorious for being maternal and obnoxiously caring at times, and although men are not known or respected for this character quality, I'm not saying that men in general are apathetic or uncaring. And this point of women being naturally more accepting than men in general doesn't even answer the question posed in the video. The question inquired as to why lesbian couples were generally more socially accepted compared to gay men. To answer this, I would first like to state that I believe the societal norms we place upon each gender is a vast separator that distinctly places homosexual male couples into an uncomfortable spotlight. Think about this: as little children, we are thrown into what can only be called stereotypical norms. Girls wear dresses and play house while boys roll around in the dirt, draw some blood, and punch each other to show each other how tough they are. If little girls would ever been seen displaying this behaviour, they would be immediately reprimanded. Young boys, however, are rewarded and praised for showing dominance and "manly" instincts at a young age. From such a young age men are taught not to cry or be ultrasensitive to anything. And although there are probably hundreds of reasons why lesbians are more widely accepted than gay men, I believe the norms pushed onto us from birth is one key piece of evidence to this unfair segregation. Can you imagine growing up in a family that pushed and praised you for being a boy only to have to tell them you're homosexual? These stereotypes are probably some of the most difficult to try and break through. Growing up as a woman, who to this day still drunkenly holds the hands of her friends and kisses them on the cheek for taking care of her, I know full well how easy it would be to simply be mistaken (and accepted) for being a lesbian. And guys, it doesn't help that you cheer on girl on girl make-out sessions at parties. If we ever pulled that one on you, you would be mortified.
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This is the easiest hard question around. Media is a big part in why lesbians are seen as "cool" while gay dudes are seen as "unnatural". The media has NO problem portraying lesbians all over the place, including award shows and things of that nature. I think some gay male from american idol tried to kiss another guy on stage and they bleeped it, but I could be wrong. Even in society a father would be more accepting of a gay daughter compared to a gay son. It's much harder for gay males in the world, because as many say, it's a mans world. The macho act is part of a bigger insecurity for a lot of men since they can't express raw emotions, so they express fabricated ones that media plays into again. When's the last time you turned on the TV and saw two flamboyant characters interacting as if it was normal? I can't think of one. But instead you see two rugged dudes throwing a football around with wranglers on and it's cool because that's how "men" act. Take a show like Ellen, who's horrible by the way but that's neither here nor there, and try to imagine a gay fella doing her show. It would be shutdown almost immediately in my opinion. Many gay men don't attract and audience like a lesbian does. You don't see many girls saying "hey I really want to see those two muscle hunks go at it,"but, you will see dudes say the opposite. A lot of girls I know think it's more disgusting to see guys kiss than girls kiss. Also the title of lesbian compared to gay comes into play. I mean really think about it. When someone says "gay" you either think of the movement of the gay population or gay males. Maybe call gay men Mesbians? or Morebians? I'm not sure how the gay male population would react to that title, or if lesbians even would like a title and rather be called just a gay woman. It's a down slope battle. Gay men are now trying to be accepted on the same level as their female counterpart. It comes down to education. They don't talk about much HUMAN sexuality in schools before college, you just find out about it. What are we as a society to do about what is accepted and not accepted? We can't make everyone conform to our ideas or their ideas. People are still racist, and will continue to be, and it's a lack of education. Gay man will be less accepted compared to lesbians because it's simply just not as attractive to the "average" persons eye. It's not fair, but it seems like progress is being made. Just look at the amount of gays being accepted in the work place now since 2002. People have to understand it takes time. Society can't just go from crawling to riding a harley in a couple years, it takes many.
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I think that lesbians are more accepted then gay men are because its different. Some men just dont want to see another man doing something out of the norm. Men that are naturally attracted to women will watch male and female porn, female and female porn, but never male and male porn.Many straight men just want to see a woman pleased, thats what gets them going, thats why they will enjoy lesbian porn, over gay-men porn.Men dont want to imagine themselves with two men, they want two women. I personally have seen a lot of gay men and lesbian women where i live. In my high school there were an extremely large number of bisexual and lesbian couples as well as gay men. It just doesnt phase me so why should it phase you?
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I would have to agree with a bunch of the comments above. Lesbian relationships are more accepted in society than the relationships between gay men. Why? Because women are naturally more affectionate than men are. Women are more likely to talk out their feelings to each other. They are allowed to become emotional. A man's role in society, however, is the exact opposite. We have grown up with expressions such as "Take it like a man!" or "Man up!" And when do people usually use these expressions? They mostly use them on occasions where someone is clearly giving up or backing down from something. So for the most part, society takes 'being a man' to be the person who takes in everything and hides their emotions by letting their steam out in ways other than sitting down and talking to someone. That being said, this would mean that men are not supposed to have emotional breakdowns, men are not supposed to cry, and men are not supposed to show more affection than women. They are usually looked to be the "macho" guys who never talks out their feelings. We do not hear phrases such as "take it like a woman!" or anything like that because generally speaking, we have been brought up with different stereotypes. We all have already made that generalization that women are "gentle and kind" while men are "tough and butch". And so, I suppose this is one of the reasons why people are more accepting towards lesbian relationships opposed to the relationships of gay men. I guess it's harder for people to think about "tough and butch" guys having romantic feelings towards each other in comparison to the "gentle and kind" women being together.
For the record, I am a girl and I am straight. I have grown up with a close-to-equal amount of girl and guy friends. So if I were to one day compliment another one of my girl friend's outfit, appearance, hair, or makeup, it would be okay for me to do so. I don't think anyone in the same room would ever think anything of it. Now, let's say that one of my guy friends was to do the same thing and compliment another guy friend's outfit, appearance, or hair. Immediately after, he would feel that it is necessary to add a phrase like "…no homo" towards the end of his sentence. Why is that? Because they are afraid that since they've let out too much emotion that now all of a sudden others will think that their sexual orientation has completely changed? Adding that little phrase at the end is like a pass to "protect what he has said" so that other people listening will not think twice about it.
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It is definitely more prevalent in today’s society that lesbians are generally more accepted than gay men. I think a lot of this has to do with the differences between how women treat each other compared to men, and the role of the media. The way females treat each other is definitely already more compassionate that the way men treat each other in terms of it being physically and emotionally. Females tend to be more comfortable with touching each other than males do, which can account for the why it is more accepting to see a female couple hugging and/or even kissing and accept it than if one sees a male couple doing the same thing. People are just more used to females doing it than males. The way females talk to each other is also different from the way males normally talk to each other as well. Females usually share their emotions with each other verbally more often than males. Therefore, this would be characterized as a more feminine trait, which also accounts for the reason why people feel more uncomfortable when males seem as emotional (if not more) as a female. If one was to walk around a mall and see a male couple holding hands, he or she would probably be startled as first compared to seeing a female couple holding hands. There are females who hold hands even if they are not lesbians; maybe they could be close friends who are more comfortable than most who hold hands on some kind of basis. On the other hand, seeing a male couple holding hands seems to be less accepted because males usually do not physically touch each other like females do, which is why more people would be startled to see this than they would if they saw a female couple doing it. Another reason why lesbians are more accepted than gay men could be because of the media. There are many movies and TV shows out there that exhibit the fact that lesbian action is sexually arousing compared to gay action. There are scenes where lesbian action is applauded, thus an audience will think that lesbian action is so much more accepting than gay action. I think a lot of the advertisements people see nowadays also exhibits heterosexual sexuality, but there are more prevalence of lesbian sexuality arising as well. There are not as many ads that illustrate gay sexuality, which could also play an important part of accepting lesbians more than gay men. Either way one looks at sexuality, there is definitely more prevalence of lesbian and/or female sexuality than there are gay men and/or male sexuality in our society today whether it be through the media or people seen on a day-to-day basis.
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i think lesbians are only more accepting because of men knowing to be in power with a beautiful family and their wonderful kids. if a man of power had a wonderful husband instead, things would be very tense and probably people would not like it. it might sound like a weird way but i just think that's one way it is. i think we live in a society now that's very forgiving but i still think that lesbians have more respect then gay men. i couldn't really tell you why other than that but it just feels that gay men dont get as much respect.
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I feel that "lipstick" lesbians or the pretty girly lesbians are more accepted in society than "butch" or more masculine lesbians. Lipstick lesbians are seen as a mainstream sexual fantasy. I feel its more of a sexual objection than actual acceptability. Gay men are a lot more accepted in main stream media. They are all over the media in fashion shows and are featured as best friends of hot female celebrities. I feel lesbians are not accepted in society as easily as gay men.
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I think its because were a male centric society and men like women so if women are gay there's this weird mass fantasy about wooing a gay women back into liking men. this is a sad concept but guys arent really in to thinking about other guys. sad as it sounds thats what I think the acceptance difference is.
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I think that this question goes much deeper than what it may seem on the surface. Who says that lesbians are "more accepted" than gay men? Without putting much thought into this question I may have instantly agreed with you, but after further deliberation it seems I have come upon a grey area. When you look at the mainstream media, such as network television and cable programming, most programs involving a gay character seem to go about it with a gay man rather than a gay woman. Check this link out, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_television_s... it is a list of all of the TV programs with LGBT characters in them with all of the character names. It seems to me that the gay male characters heavily outweigh the gay woman characters. If what you were saying was true, this statistic would be completely reversed.
I think that you may be taking the "lesbian fantasy" too much into account when asking why gay woman are more accepted than gay men. What I mean by this, is that the people more likely to openly and outwardly condemn a gay man and embrace the "thought" of gay women are uninhibited men. These men, in my opinion, would rather imagine the thought of two woman in bed together (they probably already have a fantasized view of this, from porn) than imagine two gay men in bed together.
Not only that, but I couldn't even tell you how many girls I know that have a "gay best friend" that they absolutely adore. Do you think I am talking about the (girl) friend that was completely inseparable from them growing up and since turned gay, but their new found identity did not phase them because its now just their "gay best friend?" No. I am talking about the gay GUY that they hang out with and shop with and treat as just another "girlfriend". Among the girls I know, if they do not have one, they want one! How many guys do I know, though, that have a "gay best friend" that they talk about when referring to the lesbian that they drink with and golf with and treat as if she was just another one of the guys? Lets just say I would be hard pressed to discover such a phenomenon.
On the surface, this question can be very misleading. It can make people feel as though gay woman are embraced by society whereas gay men are kicked to the curb. If anything, this seems to be the trending opposite.
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Lesbians are more accepted within today's society and gays are not for a number of reasons. In some ways lesbians are seen as entertainment for men and let’s face it, being male is a huge advantage within our society. When it comes to gays, being seen in such a manner can possibly strip a male of his masculine identity and puts him in a shameful more feminine perspective. Today, there seems to be an unreachable sense of masculinity and femininity. In children’s toys, you can see extremely thin Barbie’s and very buff action figures and for human beings, these bodies are impossible to reach. You can see this repeat itself in the media as well. In the movie 300 for example, all of the actors who played Spartan soldiers had fake abs. What does that say about real men’s masculinity? Nothing positive I can assure you. The media molds all of our minds through television, newspaper, and even radio. When of the major issues I would like to point out would be the homophobia within the black community and hip hop culture. As a black kid, I grew up having hatred against gays but not lesbians, at least not against hot, sexy lesbians.
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The question was why are gay men not as accepted as lesbians and I do not know how much I agree with that generalization. I know a lot of straight guys think lesbians are hot or whatever, but when it comes down to it, they will still make comments about girls in a negative way. When I am walking down the street holding a girl’s hand, I will hear comments about having a threesome with whatever drunk guy is yelling at us. If we respond in a negative way, the said drunk man will yell some kind of rude slur back at us. Guys only accept lesbians if they think they can get something out of it to benefit them. It is hard for gay men because guys are usually the ones spitting out nasty comments. Women usually see the gay or lesbian couple and keep their opinions to themselves.
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I think that lesbians are more accepted than gay men because naturally, girls are closer. Just friends that are girls can be extremely close and are not considered lesbians. Boys tend to not be as touchy feely as girls and so it is a more surprising sight seeing boys holding hands. It does not bother me in the least bit but either way I think it is because girls are naturally more inclined to be close to their friends, literally. Also, to be honest, I think part of it is because boys like seeing girls hook up with each other.
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I do not really feel like lesbians are more excepted than gay men, just that they are not talked about as much so it creates the illusion that they're more accepted. Like it or not, this is a very male dominated country we live in and there is a certain standard of manliness that has been created by our society. So I feel like it is a lot more noticeable when a man fails to meet the requirements to be considered a man by his peers. There's things like being really jacked and muscular, loving sports, liking and being able to drink a lot of beer, etc. I'm talking in general terms here, not for myself or all men especially, but men typically like to objectify women and well what better way to objectify them is there than having to be together. Thats kind of the driving factor behind the entire porn industry, so it makes sense to me.
Speaking of the porn industry, I think that's another reason why people could think that lesbians are more accepted than gay men. Men are the majority of consumers when it comes to porn, so the producers of it will put whatever men like in their movies so they can sell more. Gay men are probably rarely seen in porn because I can't really imagine that any straight man would willingly watch gay sex. I could be wrong but I think that gay men are the only ones who'd really enjoy watching other gay men have sex with each other, but that's their own choice. I really do not know of that many girls who watch porn so I can't really say what they would like to watch.
But I feel like the spotlight of the gay issues is focused so much on men that women are often forgot about until something specific is brought up. Its not that they're accepted more or less than men, they just do not have as much of the focus on them as men do.Their time for scrutiny under the spotlight will come, I'm sure.
All of this makes me think that we put way too much on people in our society to act like part of the whole instead of embracing their individuality and being themselves. Who came up with the previously mentioned manly criteria? I know plenty of girls who like sports and beer, but they are not lesbians by any stretch of the imagination. I also know guys who are more into watching musicals and chick flicks than football or hockey, but they aren't necessarily gay. The whole issue of gay acceptance is pointless, let people be who they want to be, and if they're gay then who cares.
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Like so many people have said here so far, it all has to do with our society and the socialization of boys. Our country (if not world) runs on a very patriarchal system and therefore being gay seems to “go against” the idea of men being men, of men holding the most power. Ever since boys are born they are taught to like tough things—hunting, fishing, sports, and the like. And they are “supposed” to like women because in that relationship they are able to be the masculine one, have the power and the final say. However, when a guy is in a same-sex relationship, it almost seems like he’s letting his power go for a more passive role which is “unnatural”. Being with a man could almost seem to be a challenge to the world’s idea of “there can only be one.” One king, one heir, one man. Kind of like a lion’s pride, I guess.
As for more acceptability of lesbian couples, I don’t really know. Part of me wants to say that it has to do with a sort of male fantasy but that just makes me think that there’s a deeper reason behind that fantasy. It must have started somewhere. Where, though, I have no idea.
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I agree that lesbians are more acceptable than gays in this society as many other students think. There might be several reasons and phenomenon for explaining this fact. The major fact I think that is because women are more acceptable than men in general which means the society usually don’t refuse whatever women do, but guys. To explain this more detail, women can be either girly or tomboy like men (or something else like both mixed character), but guys should be tough and manlike. If they show a little bit of sensitive or girly character people say ‘it’s gay’. Also when little kids are raised, the parents’ perceptions are different in accord with the sex of their children. For example, when the parents raise their own children, it is perfectly fine if they buy either Barbie dolls or soccer ball for their daughters. However, most parents wouldn’t buy Barbie dolls or other girly dolls for their sons (because it is gay).
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I really think this is a rhetorical question, at least all the guys know the answer to this question; there are a lot of reasons why lesbians are more accepted than gays, some are psychological reasons such as men thinking that girls are so desperate for a guy that they are kissing each other, it is just want of those sex fantasies that guys have, also the fact that guys are attracted to girls bodies, lips, so watching them kiss and hold each other is as good as it gets, there is a million other reasons, in fact different men have different reasons but overall lesbians are more accepted that gays.
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Lesbians and gay men are a whole different phenomenon. It's hard to pick one main reason why lesbians are generally more accepted, but its lot easier to pick on the facts why gay men are less accepted.
First off men are always seen as more of a threat than women, in regards to daily day to day activities like committing crimes, or more life activities like getting top jobs or being promoted. So it shouldn't be surprising that in regards to the gay community men are considered more of a danger to society. We had an interesting conversation in our discussion class where we talked about why it had been so difficult for gays to be accepted. I brought up the fact that it was common in history and in human dynamics for there always to be a fear of the unknown. It happened with African Americans, then Latinos (predominantly illegal Mexicans), and now its gay people. So knowing that men are always more feared then women, it makes sense for society to be more negligible and ruthless to gay men then lesbians.
Another reason that can be pinpointed is that when men think of lesbians, they think of two super hot females doing porn like things. This is most definitely welcome in a society where the advertising and use of sex is everywhere and the porn business makes more money then many other industries including the video game one. Its more socially acceptable for someone to watch lesbian porn then gay man porn. Just recently at my friends place there was a poster of two females in a very provocative position. It is unimaginable for a poster of two men in a sexual position to be up, or even made.
This leads to another reason why lesbians are more accepted – the fantasy factor. More women fantasize about being with a woman then men fantasize about being a man. The coveted threesome with one man and two females is prevalent in almost every heterosexuals mind, while finding a women or man with the fantasy of a threesome with two men and one woman is frowned upon, and brings up thoughts of rape and being taken advantage of.
Emasculation is another reason why lesbians are more accepted. As blunt as it is, no one wants to see two men making out with each other, while the thought of two females is intriguing. Womens bodies are looked at more as a piece of art, and sometimes it is interesting to see two pieces of arts.
Violence can also be a reason. Certain people want to always use violence as a solution to problems, so beating up a gay man is more acceptable then beating up a woman of course.
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I think it's because as women it's natural for men to see us together hugged up because as children we were socialized to be these gentle creatures and it's not really shocking; if you see to girls walking down the street you automatically think they are friends so it's harder to see if they are just friends or not, but it's not difficult to distinguish gay men from friends I believe.
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Why are lesbians more accepted than gay men?
Because most men love lesbians while fearing the social repercussions of being a gay man/associating with gay men.
In my 21 years of life experience I have never met a man who disapproved of two hot women having sexual relations. In fact most guys I know, including myself, LOVE lesbians. Why?
1.What’s more arousing than one superhot naked female body…that’s right…TWO superhot naked female bodies.
2.The novelty factor. Watching two chicks make out at a party makes guys cheer. Why? Because it’s not normal. At parties it’s often a sign of drunkenness and promiscuity…two things the average college guys can’t get enough of.
3.This one’s a longshot, but I’ll mention it anyway. Why else are two hot girls who aren’t afraid to mess around with each other hot? Because it leads to the thought that, ”wow if I can seduce one of these lesbian/bisexuals…perhaps I can fulfill my ultimate guy fantasy…a threesome with two hot girls! Giggity goo!
Being gay is social suicide in most male friendship groups, especially in middle school/high school and usually into adulthood
1. Being gay, is often interpreted as being the antithesis of manly. Gays are often shunned in high school by the rest of the “heterosexual” male population. They usually just end up having a shitload of female friends.
2. That said, if you are friends with gays/support gays, you will be interested as being gay yourself by many guys and this will often result in being shunned from the heterosexual male community.
I think part of the reason homophobia runs rampant in male circles is in part because traditional masculinity is based almost entirely on the goal of seducing as many beautiful women as possible. Why do guys go to the gym, pick up a guitar, or play high school football. Yes, its partially because they love those activities, but a lot of it has to do with the perceived increase in seduction abilities by people who are really good at those things. Furthermore, being attracted to females is such a core factor in the construction of traditionally male personality that to NOT be attracted to women makes it very difficult to assimilate with the rest of the heterosexual male population. It would be like an avid anime player who hates sports trying to befriend the meatheads at the gym. They simply have very little in common. For better or for worse, liking big titties and wanting to fuck hot bitches is so important in a heterosexual males life, especially if they think about sex every 10 seconds or whatever the myth is. For gay men, this means they have a much harder time finding personality traits in common with most heterosexual men and that’s why I believe its very hard to them to integrate in the heterosexual male community.
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Post 1 of 2
The paradox between the wider acceptance of lesbian relations as opposed to gay relations seems to be rooted in the notion of masculinity inherent throughout the world. Almost every culture in the world is patriarchal. This is a fact born of the gender roles established by early societies and nature itself. Despite the relatively recent efforts of the Women’s Lib movement, males still dominate society with a convincing margin. Consequently, masculinity is held to a higher, more rigid esteem than femininity.
We see this everyday with false expressions of masculinity by men; we buy Hummer’s and grills to compensate for the ever decreasing role masculinity plays in our lives. In the age of industry and, more recently, the internet, a machine can function as a man and a computer eliminates the physical dominance enjoyed by men over women for millennia. With the death of masculinity comes the dying effort to preserve it; through this lens, we see the overwhelming discomfort our society has with homosexuality.
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Post 2 of 4
Gay men threaten the very notion of “man over woman” in a way that only highlights the ever diminishing actual correlation. Conversely, lesbian relationships only further the idea of femininity. A lesbian couple acts as a reinforcement of femininity while a gay couple is perceived with the opposite effect. The culture of male dominance throughout the world’s history seems to be the distinguishing factor that explains it. Men have been in a position of power for long enough that we have been able turn this particular issue into a matter of social discomfort.
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Post 3 of 4
Nevertheless, this does nothing to explain why gay men have been persecuted for thousands of years whereas lesbian relationships have not. I think the actual answer can be found in the biological reality of the situation. Gorillas and other great apes are the closest things to human-animals that exist. Within these populations, there exist harems that are made up of one dominant male ape and several female apes. Although lesbian relationships are not well documented within these groups, they do offer insight into the acceptance of multiple female relationships in comparison to multiple male relationships. These ideals seem to have carried over into Homo sapiens and human culture.
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I think that this is a pretty easy question to answer based on the fact that in our society men are almost always portrayed as macho and powerful, while women are soft and loving. It is easy for straight men to accept lesbians basically because most feel that it is sexy to see two women together and in many cases the two girls don't even have to be lesbians. I've seen plenty of straight girls make out pretty much for no reason (alcohol). However, if two guys randomly made out they would automatically be labeled as gay, and sadly a lot of straight men basically think of gay men as women, except not attractive.
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