Comments on: LGBT Class: Question Six

By: Jharred_Tulloch

Jharred_Tulloch — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 07:59:35 +0000

First, I have to agree with her that it seems that the lesbians are definitely more accepted than gay men within society, especially the more feminine lesbians. To think that there is only one reason as to why this is would be foolish, mainly because, although men might have a very similar mind set towards certain things, at the same time, they all think and act differently towards certain situations they might be put into. To begin with, there is clearly already a very obvious double standard between the actions of women, and the actions of men. Of course I’m talking about the way men can sleep with numerous people and not be considered a whore, but a woman could do the same, and will be ridiculed and treated as a slut. With this question that she posed however, I am still somewhat confused as to why this is. The first reason I would think this double standard is so, I believe, would have to be a man’s natural attraction to women to begin with. I guess the more women the better? Unfortunately, this subject is hard for me because I personally do not see why society likes lesbians more than gays. I may be a tad bit biased because I just so happen to be a gay man myself. I guess one reason it may be more widely accepted in society has to deal with girls doing very “lesbian” things in public on a normal basis. I cannot count the number of times I have seen two girls kiss for no reason at parties. However, the chances of seeing two men kiss at a party for no reason are very slim, to none. Other than that reason, I cannot think of any other reason as to why lesbians get a pass and gays get the boot.

By: mla5081

mla5081 — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 09:49:49 +0000

I think this is really good point that you brought up about how lesbians are more accepted than gays. I am not sure if I know why that is exactly, but I think it has a lot to do with the gender roles we have in our society. It is similar to the stereotype that if a girl sleeps around with a bunch of guys, she is a whore; but, if a guy does it, he is "the man." With that train of thought, the same can be said about two lesbians together as opposed to two gay guys together. Since guys find two girls kissing attractive and hot, it is considered OK. But, when two guys kissing, or even holding hands for that matter, it is looked down upon. Guys find two guys together emasculating. From there, society has conformed to the norm that guys kissing must be wrong, while creating the double standard that girls kissing is appropriate and acceptable.

This double standard is completely unacceptable. It is unfair that women that love each other are more accepted than two men that love each other. Men should be treated the same as women, and vice versa. I find it ironic that this is one of the few situations where women have a privilege that men do not have. For example, women in many different areas of employment get paid less. On average, for ever 1 dollar that men are paid, women get 80 cents. How could we possibly, as a society, let these issues go unattended? In addition, women's bodies are much more exploited in the media compared to men. For instance, in movies, I have noticed that there are a lot more naked women than there are naked men. And, if there are naked men, their "twigs and berries" are rarely shown. And, if they are shown, then it is in a comical sense, not a sensual one, save for porn, which is a different topic for another day. This is why lesbians are more accepted than gay men.

By: ashleyroots5221

ashleyroots5221 — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 02:54:40 +0000

This topic, is one that I have always wondered about just as well. It is very funny to me that people except lesbian woman and will not accept gay men. However, this is a topic that I am included in myself also. I am a lot more accepting almost completely accepting of lesbian woman. I have even caught myself thinking that it is not so bad if two women hook up. Thinking that it is almost natural, though when looking at two guys even though I have many gay friends, do not accept their relationships. When I view two men kissing I tend to look at it as “disgusting” if you will, and very unnatural and degrading. I do not understand what the justifying difference between the two is besides men are supposed to be masculine. Men were supposed to be put here to be manly figures that take care of women. Though I know that this is so 18th century this deep down inside is how I view them, just as I know many others do also. However, to see two men tonguing down each other gives me a sense of cringing. For instance, I have a male friend who is gay. He is very close to me and we talk about everything. I am very accepting of his preference and will even talk to him about his relationships, but when we start to talk about sexual relationships and he goes into what he does it disgusts me. I don’t want to feel that way I just do. On the other hand with women I guess the excuse is uncertainty and confusion, and also the fact that women cannot “actually” have intercourse. Sure they can with fake objects but not with each other’s God given body parts. So I think that is what makes it a little more acceptable. It’s almost as to say it is not completely wrong. Where as though men can and that does not sit right with me. Another point is lesbians are looked at as sexual due to the fact that we are soft and sensual. Even to the biggest hick or redneck lesbians are much more accepted and looked at as a fun and sexual pleasure. I guess it caters to the thought of a man being able to have sexual power over two women without cheating. As we know men like to have many sexual partners so maybe the thought of lesbian acts gives him that sense of accomplishment of having two women at once without having any consequences. Where as though women do not have those thoughts and definitely do not need to have more than one man in bed. In conclusion I really do not have an answer, but maybe this is a start.

By: mfg5038

mfg5038 — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 19:44:46 +0000

I believe there is a double standard when it comes to guys and girls being homosexual. We talked about it in my discousion group and it really is true. The way that guys are viewed when intimate with another man is different from the way a girl is viewed when having a relationship with another girl. Being socially acceptable with society, i feel as if male relationships are more accepted then female. That what happens behind closed doors without people seeing is more commonly accepted with males. However when public displays of affection are being viewed, i feel as if girl on girl action is more commonly accepted. If two girls hook up at a party, it would be considered hot, there doing it for attention and doing it to turn on guys. At the same time, if two boys are seen hooking up at a party, it can be viewed as disgusting and innapropriate. I don't think it's right that there is a double standard depending on the sex of the same sex relationship, however there is one and the way that society has brought us up to view same sex relationships, I know that seeing two guys kiss would make me feel weird. Even on television shows, you don't commonly see guys kissing. If there is same sex kissing, its usually portrayed as females kissing each other. Just because thats what people are more comfortable seeing. Even when we discuss them, people to tend to talk about them differently. For example, girls can be called homosexual, gay, or lesbians. There called many different things because people are ok with that. When it comes to men, they can be called homosexual and gay, however there are many negative contations that go along with being a gay man as well. There referred to as fudge packers, fruits, and many other negative names, just going off the point that its more commonly acceptable for women to have an intimate relationship with another women, then for a man to have one with another man. Personally, I've never had feelings for another girl, but in society, I don't know how secure I'd be parading the fact that I did have feelings for someone of the same sex. I feel that to first admit it to yourself and then to admit it to others is a big deal and takes a lot of courage because of the implications, society and religion play on viewing same sex couples. Therefore, if you are a guy whose in love with another man or a girl whose in love with another girl, I say be proud and embrace it. Society as a whole is evolving everyday and becoming more accepting and therefore people should embrace who they really are, regardless of there sexual preferences.

By: eat5077

eat5077 — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 18:40:23 +0000

Let me just start off by saying this is an excellent question, and one that I always pondered. I think after talking to men and women I have come to a collective conclusion as to why lesbians may be more accepted than gay men.

Think back to class when Sam asked how many of us students watch pornography. How many hands were raised? How many of those hands were guys? How many of those hands were girls? I think it is safe to say that more men watch pornography than women. Having said that, it's also more common for a man to watch a porno of two women (whether they are lesbian or not) than it is for a woman to watch a porno of two men.

Another thing to consider is how the media portrays lesbians vs gay men. I always get the vibe that women are more comfortable with their sexuality than men so they aren't afraid to "go out of their box" and experiment. Men are more straight forward…kind of awkward in a way. Think about it, how many times have you heard drunk guys yelling at two girls to make out at a bar or a party? All the time. How many times have you heard drunk girls yelling at two guys to make out at a bar? Never.

Maybe lesbians are considered more acceptable than gay men because the majority of men, whether they are gay or straight, watch lesbian pornography to arouse themselves. Let's be real, they don't sit and watch guy on guy action to get themselves going. Maybe most women don't watch porn so they aren't even voicing their opinion. You need to also keep in mind that most heterosexual men think of beautiful, model-type women making love as lesbians, they don't tend to picture the "butch" lesbians because they aren't what's seen in pornos.

I'm not forgetting the fact that most heterosexual women have no problem with gay men outside of pornography. For instance, how many straight women in this world have a guy friend that is gay? Lots. Women enjoy the company of gay men because they share common interests like shopping and men.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when a homosexual won't admit they are gay or "come out of the closet" if you will. I have a friend, well sort of friend, that I met freshman year and the first thing I thought after I met him was wow, that kid is flaming gay without a doubt. He speaks very femininely (valley girl), he has more shoes than any girl I know, he constantly criticizes girls looks and tells them to their faces if he doesn't like the outfit they are wearing, he spanks girls in public and gets away with it, and apparently he had "a girlfriend" back in the day. Never have I heard him talk about a girl that he really liked. He also loves to tell me and my girlfriends that the guy we like is not good looking and that we could do better. How in the world could someone like this not be gay???

We need to realize that heterosexual males would rather see two women together than two males, and straight women would rather see two men together than two women because they represent their own gender and that weirds them out. I don't think lesbians are more acceptable than gay men at all. Lesbians are more accepted in the eyes of men.

By: eat5077

eat5077 — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 18:39:50 +0000

By: ubuntu19

ubuntu19 — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 22:03:56 +0000

I think that lesbians are more accepted by men, than gays. I think that because of this, our culture has made lesbian tendencies, such as 2 girls making out, acceptable, and that women do this without actually being lesbians. I would not say that lesbians are really that much more accepted as a whole, they idea of them are accepted by men, who become turned on by two girls together, but when it comes down to it actual lesbian couples are not usually as accepted as lesbian actions by straight women. gay men also seem to be more accepted by women. So why is it that gay men and accepted more by women, and lesbian women more accepted by men? Is it that men feel threatened by gay men because they are afraid they will hit on them and challenge their maleness? and same for women? I am not really sure why it works out this way, but I am not sure that lesbians are as accepted as everyone assumes.

By: crm5184

crm5184 — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:46:02 +0000

I actually don't think lesbians are more accepted than gay men. In my opinion, the acceptance for lesbians and gays is probably about the same. I think the difference here is that it's more accepted for two women to hook up then for two men to hook up…I mean, we're in college so I'm sure we've all two girls make out at a party and everyone goes crazy and loves it, and I definitely don't think two men hooking up at a party would get the same reception at all, because as a culture it's not something we consider "hot". But I'd definitely say that 99.9% of the time, the women who hook up at bars, parties, etc. aren't actually lesbians they're just drunk and trying to get attention and make a scene. But when you're talking about real lesbian and gay couples, I've never met anyone who was okay with the lesbians and not okay with the gay men.

By: Jel5191

Jel5191 — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:44:49 +0000

I actually really liked this question. Because i think the same thing. Why is female homosexuality excepted while male homosexuality is not? I am really not sure. I think lesbian woman couples are more excepting than gay man couples because woman and mainly men seem to be more comfortable talking about and seeing lesbians than gays. Maybe because females are more nurturing and are not as match o and are not expected to be so there fore they can be gay together. Males are "suppose" to have intercourse with a woman for procreation but the same goes for women with men. In my opinion when I see lesbian couples it does not bother me because I think it is great that two people have found someone that they are comfortable with and want to be with, even though it is two people of the same sex. But when i see two males together homosexually on the street or in a commercial or film i kind of have to do a double take. not that I am against it because i am totally not, i have plenty of friends who are gay and have partners. It is just something that seems strange to see. Also, women seem to be more comfortable and accepting about sexuality. I think women tend to be more accepting of an individuals choice to have a same sex relationship. When it comes to men and lesbians, I think many men think it is cool too see lesbian couples and become turned on by it. When men see gay couples, generally, they get very uncomfortable with it because it is not very “manly”. My guy friends have even said, they are okay with gay couples, but they still get uncomfortable around it and the only problem they would have is if a gay male tried hitting on them, but after talking to some gay males some have said that they can tell when a guy is gay or not so straight man are more than likely not going to get hit on by a gay male.

I just thought about this.. most homophobic men freak out when they see men hold hands, kiss, show affection to another man. But when they see two girls kissing, holding hands, making out, having sex in a pornographic film they get aroused. Almost every mans' dream is to have a three some with two girls- even the most homophobic men in the world think that way. These men think there would be nothing more manly than to have two girls in bed with them. But two girls making out or two girls having sex is homosexual!! It kind of boggles my mind. I guess it is the heterosexual mindset but i think its bull shit.

By: ask5089

ask5089 — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 00:20:14 +0000

I agree with this post to the max. I've wondered for years why it is that lesbains are more accepting than gay men? Or even if you have two not attractive lesbains everyones turned off, but if its two hott girls with nice bodies, our society loves it. The thought of two men having sexual relations with each other makes it uncomfortable and awkward, but two girls our soceitys jumping on that real quick. Is this because for many girl on girl is a turn on? Or is it because our society is more accepted to two girls rather than two boys. Reading above some people have stated its because the woman body is a work of art, which is understable, but does that make it acceptable. I feel that if people are fascinated by two women than they should be fascinated with two men. The thought of two woman involved in sexual acts is just disgusting to me, I do agree the woman body is naturally beautiful but two women involved in sexual acts together is the same as two men involved in sexual actions. I don't know but for some reason this topic really bothers me.