The XXX Bible? Who Would’ve Thought?

adamandeve

posted by Sam Richards

Okay, so this is going to stretch some of you into places I am reasonably certain you’ve not yet ventured.

Imagine for a moment, that the religious texts with which you’re familiar were actually written by humans and inspired by Allah/God/G-d. Now consider what “inspired” actually means or what it could possibly refer to. When someone inspires me, for example, they don’t sit behind me and whisper editorial comments into my ear as I’m typing along. Rather, they provoke my imagination and my mind to consider things that I’ve yet to bring to bear on some particular issue. This means that in the end, when I hit save on a document or send on an email, regardless of how instrumental another person’s ideas or thoughts were to my own, the words in the document are mine and probably reflect more of what is happening in MY LIFE than the life of my muse.

Makes sense, right? So now apply this to any religious stories that you believe were inspired by Allah/God/G-d. (If you are a strict, [read: "literal"] interpreter of religious text, you can just jump ahead to the linked article.) One can only conclude that both the sacrosanct stories that give form to our religions AND the ways in which those stories have been interpreted have at least as much to do with mundane matters of daily living as they do with some great mysterious relationship between the writer and his or her otherworldly muse.

So this article points to some things that I’ve thought about (seriously!) but never had the time nor the inclination to research. It’s rather interesting and should provoke some challenging brain activity.

Read the article: “Adam’s Family Jewels”

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117 Responses to The XXX Bible? Who Would’ve Thought?

  1. Ada5043 says:

    I feel that the article was highly biased. The vast majority if individuals today, who follow some version of the Bible, follow more of the New Testament than the Old Testament. During the time of the Old Testament, the world was very different than what we know today. However, over the years, the commandments written in the bible have been modified to accommodate times such as the one in which we now live. Granted, the bible is a book inspired by the God, but it doesn’t postulate to be anymore than that. The individuals who wrote the bible made clear distinctions between direct commandment by God, and those interpreted by themselves. Regardless of which, it is a book that guides the lives of many. I believe that everyone is going to have their own interpretation of the book, but the ability to do so any way we chooses was also granted to us by God.

    Going back to the idea of Eve being made from the bone of Adams penis, in my interpretation, I don’t believe this to be true. The penis is where the seed which produces off spring comes from. To say that Eve was produced from the bone of Adams penis symbolically puts her in the position of Adams child. However, the rib is at the side of the man. I do not believe God made a mistake and commanded the writers of the book to say rib when he actually meant penis. God doesn’t make mistakes. And as the divine inspirer of the bible, I don’t believe that there are mistakes in the book either. The time was different, and what we perceive as a mistake written in the word now, was not a mistake to those who wrote it. Our interpretation is based on the evolution of time and knowledge. As such, I believe the bible should be read with the knowledge that it is still more than relevant to us as individuals today, but was written in a context suited to the time in which the book was originally written. Yet, I digress. I do not believe there was a mistake between rib and penis. Symbolically, the rib at Adams side represents a helpmate; someone who will stand at the side the man. To me, this makes more sense than being drawn from the penis. I feel that Eve not being from the penis accommodates the fact that incest would in time be seen as wrong. In the New Testament, we see a new era of commandments that better suit our ability to follow despite our different time period.

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  2. This article really had my mind going while reading it. I guess because I was in Catholic School for most of my life, I never thought things about religion for myself. All thought my childhood going to church and CCD I never questioned anything against the Bible. And know being an adult in college who is not really into religion, this topic has never really crossed my mind; until now. First off I never even thought about the whole Adam and Eve thing. They are right its complete incest, you have Adam and Eve for have children, but them where do we go from there? They must be reproducing with each other to create more life. I guess when my CCD teacher said that “we are all brothers and sisters” she wasn’t really lying ha ha. Anyway getting back to the article, I knew that over the years the Bible has been censored but I never though this much! It ridicules how prude some religions can be. Sex plays a big part in life and I don’t see why it must all be censored out. Last semester I took an other cultures mythology class (which by the way was great) we read stories from all parts of the world, Africa, India, Middle East. Once again all of the stories were mainly about sex. It didn’t seem to bother anyone in the class and the professor even warned us that sex and human private parts played a big role in all the cultures. Yet you do not see them taking or censoring out those parts. One story even went into great detail about how sex is the only thing that keeps a marriage/ relationship together. You would never ever read that in the Bible, even though it is not a bad thing at all! But yes not all the stories in the Bible are clean cut like the CCD teachers want you to think. I do agree that most of the events in the Bible are very risky. There is a lot of rape, killing, sex etc. in the Bible, but those were events that have happened, why would or more importantly who gives anyone the right to change or leave out these events! I think it should be read how it was written; no one should change someone’s work. The opening to this article really sparked my curiosity, I have never heard of God taking the bone from Adam’s penis and making him a woman. Then it is later changed or translated as his rib. This doesn’t even make sense, if it was from his rib, wouldn’t men have one less rib bone then women? Yet I can see that things from the book could possible get mistranslated but when it most always involves something along the lines or sex and body parts, one has to start wondering if that mistranslation was truly meant to happen.

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