posted by Sam Richards
So what if we flip the script on this gender issue and show how it plays out with race? Imagine that black and brown people sit on the back of buses and use separate drinking fountains and so on…and we just don’t discuss it. “I’m not comfortable discussing that because it’s just the way it is. THERE ARE JUST SOME THINGS THAT WE SHOULD NOT DISCUSS.” Of course, this is exactly what people said for decades…upon decades…
Imagine how you’d feel if you saw it differently and thought that we really should discuss that race issue. And then anyone who brought it up was considered to be butting his or her head into places where it didn’t belong…or worse yet, complaining about something that isn’t going to change. “Why do you have to discuss that. It’s not polite. Everything is fine.”
This is one way that this “28 day cycle issue” fits with the race issue, by the way.
AND, it’s a perfect example of ethnocentrism — of our inability to step outside of our own shoes and see the world in a different way, through someone else’s experience. Remember, ETHNOCENTRISM = THAT’S JUST THE WAY IT IS. So when that’s your argument, you are in questionable territory.
Why do I say this? Because if it wasn’t that way, then the class would’ve been bored stiff when I brought up the issue. However, most of you weren’t bored at all but, rather, opinionated and emotionally charged.
And it seems to me that when we’re truly resistant to thinking about something, that is the very moment that we ought to really consider it. Maybe the Tea Party people are right and we really do need some sort of a major upheaval in the United States. And maybe abortion is murder. And then, maybe life does not begin at conception.
Remember that I “woke up” when I was twenty years old after enough people pointed out contradictions about things that I faced every day but did not see — because I was a fish in the water that was my own culture. Crazy how that is. And once I woke up I could not stop asking questions…and I still cannot stop. That’s why I teach. I’m just trying to answer those damn questions.
This issue of “bleeding” goes into much larger issues. I think that this leads into the topic of communication. Everybody has room to work on their communication with other people. When I think of good communication, I see the willingness to talk to others about anything you want. Men and women should not feel so uncomfortable talking about “bleeding”. It’s a very natural bodily function.
I think that one day “bleeding” will be a normal thing to talk about. It won’t be this issue that people are afraid to talk to but it will take some time. Just like many other areas of society such as sex and racism. Before the 1950’s, nobody talked about these things. Over time however, people got more used to it and eventually it became no big deal.
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People need to have the ability to step out of their own shoes and see the world as a whole. I think Sam Richards does a really good job of this. When talking about issues, he doesn’t describe situations from his perspective but thinks about them in more of a general sense. This is the best way to make any decision, especially when talking about what is good for a group as a whole. However, in certain situations I think that it doesn’t take people’s emotions into consideration. Some girls feel shy and maybe embarrassed to talk about “bleeding” and that is why most women don’t like to talk about the issue.
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I am totally on board with questioning everything I think I know. But I’m also scared. I’m scared because I don’t know if I have “woken up” yet. I think that I have definitely been shocked enough by the things I’ve learned hear at Penn state but sometimes I feel like I haven’t really woken up just yet. When I really think about I wonder if it relates back to that whole idea of enlightenment. I wonder if we don’t ever really wake up until we are dead but simply awake unto another clearer closer vision of reality. I feel like that’s a pretty wild idea, to think of this class’s objective as allowing us to see the clarity before we die. Because after you die everything has got seem so obvious; what a great perspective. Don’t think I have some awkward fixation with death I am simply speculating.
Reading this post makes me think about when people say “that makes people uncomfortable so we shouldn’t say it or talk about it.” But I definitely agree with sam when he says that we should think and talk about it especially if it makes us uncomfortable. I am so tired of hearing people complain about being uncomfortable in certain situations. GET OVER IT ALREADY!!! Life is way to short to care about something like language and controversial topics making you uncomfortable.
Handshakes are a prime example of people creating uncomfortable situations around a perfectly normal activity. Why is every so afraid to hug? Its not going to kill you and you are only on this earth for so long. So why not hug every single person you can? What’s the worst that can happen? I was a raised in a family where to go without touching every person in the family in an affectionate matter (hugs or basic cordial contact) for one day meant something was wrong. Hugs don’t cost you a thing and they give everlasting warmth and comfort. I understand that some people have personal space issues and I can respect that but then I have to ask, what is it that bothers you about coming in contact with other people? For me there is something about connecting through physical contact that I just cant get enough of. In every single one of my environments I try to squeeze in as many hugs and elbow squeezes and even back rubs as I can. It just feels right to connect to the people around me. What do we have to loose? People, no matter what they look like or act like, are still people. We are all human beings and we share that basic need of contact
It is my professional opinion as member of the Tribe that these walls people create are responsible for holding us back and that until we destroy them we will constantly be functioning under capacity as a species.
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I must admit that I was one of the people in class who were squirming in their seats as Sam talked about "bleeding." And although I still don't think it’s necessarily something that needs to be discussed or that I want to discuss, I find the parallel that Sam made to race in the post interesting. I'd have to agree that just because we don't talk about something, doesn't mean that it shouldn't be discussed. And more interestingly, why isn't it discussed? Like Sam said, race was the topic that was never discussed in the past, yet it obviously needed to be talked about. Therefore, although it still makes me uncomfortable, I must admit that maybe taboo topics like periods should be discussed too, even if it’s just to understand why they are never talked about.
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I think nothing will ever be answered if we are not even open to discussing it. That is the problem with so many of us today. We are not willing to open our minds and our hearts to questions. Whichever issues seem to haunt us, we have problems facing them. We have even more problems facing other people's issues. We cannot seem to wrap our head around other people's problems. That is ethnocentrism. We see ourselves as all-encompassing and more important than others. When we take the time to really look and consider the plight's of our neighbors, only then can we see beyond ourselves and realize that it is a necessary and beautiful thing to help someone in need. Especially when they are a part of our towns and communities. Even more so when they are friends of our children and are the future we want to see shining beyond us. We need to let go of bias ideals and open up to the real parts of others. We need to learn to accept people as they are and see the beauty in them. We cannot continue to head down a path of hate, bigotry, and violence. I know talks of periods aren't violent but they did cause an uproar. WE need to eliminate taboos that take a grip on society and plague it for years and years. We are to elite and technologically savvy to be ensnared by these superstitions. We have to come to terms with all facets of our reality and make sense of others and ourselves. We have to make the change because as we grow we teach lessons to the young and they look up to us and follow us. These lessons need to be all-encompassing and help us reach them in a way that they can learn to accept others without stigmas and prejudice. We have a long way to go yet. But, if we work together to reach common goals, it will be possible. We need to come together with mutual love and respect for one another and discuss differences. The only way anything is ever resolved is with communication among members. When will we begin to communicate effectively with one another and start to solve the problems that plague us? Ethnocentrism will only lead to more hate which begets more hate. It is a super extremely deadly cycle. It is not healthy and cannot help solve any issues we have. This form of bias is so extreme in many people. If we are in fact just average, why won't anyone see their culture as just average. Who gave us the right to feel superior to another being, or culture? Why can't we see the equality in ourselves and realize that the only things that place us above animals is the quality of our minds. Which we still can't use to wrap our heads around our own stubborn nature. It is pathetic.
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I agree with Sam that it is so important to question everything. I also can see what he was saying about flipping the script. This idea of race being an uncomfortable topic that we ignored for so long is in fact somewhat similar to the idea that we don’t want to talk about a woman’s natural cycle. There should be no reason why we should feel “suppressed” and unable to talk about this topic because people are uncomfortable about it. I know that I, personally, do not mind talking about my bleeding with people. Society places certain norms on what is proper to discuss and what is not, and in many circumstances, those norms need to change.
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Sam is right when he says that we should never stop questioning. Periods are gross to talk about and it is irrational to not discuss why this is the case. However, loads of things are gross to talk about and we are well aware of why they are taboo in common conversation, but that does not mean that it is evidence for why our culture is covertly unequal. In general, talking about poop while people eat is considered gross. If we analyze this, we don’t find that it is because we live in a world where antibacterialists have disenfranchised fecalists; people simply are uncomfortable talking about turds. The same ideas apply for periods. I’m aware that men do not menstruate, but I’m also aware of what it is. My sense of modesty, which according to modern standards of anthropology is a cultural universal, is what makes me not want to discuss bleeding with people I don’t know.
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I agree with Sam on the concept of questioning society. I once read a book in which the author advised readers to say bullshit before any statement they heard. It is definitely very important to question society and have an opinion about things. When people just go along with the norms of society it lets them think things like prejudice and hatred are okay, because that's the way it's always been. But when we look deeper we find the flaws in society and can work to correct them. I can remember the 2000 presidential elections. All the 10 year olds either wanted to vote for Bush or Gore. I would bet that we barely even knew what party either of the candidates was running for. We just blindly supported whoever our parents were supporting at the time. I think this definitely holds true for anyone who is an extremist. I think most often those who seem to be hardcore conservatives or communists or whatever are that way because that's what they have been taught to do. They haven't actually ever examined the other perspective and taken into consideration flaws in their argument. This is a just a small example, but I have one friend who is extremely stubborn. She always thinks she's right and never thinks she's wrong. It gets extremely frustrating. In elementary school I was a very competitive kid. I remember there was one boy in my class that would always get away with doing whatever he wanted. I would do the same thing as him and get in trouble for it. Then I would complain to the teacher and say it wasn't fair and she would respond by saying, "that's just the way he is." It wasn't important at all for her to question it, while at the same time it really bothered me. As far as the menstrual thing goes, i think we all need to remember how Sam said he always "goes for the jugular." He may have been acting a little excessive to hit his point home. He does make a very valid point though. Why can't we talk about it. After that class, I was sitting around with some guy friends and one of them made a joke about me being on my period and I called them out on and it told them what Sam had said in class. They were very quiet after that and haven't made any jokes about it since. Clearly, the issue is very taboo, but so was race at one point. It's all part of life and thing's need to be talked about. That's why this class is so genius. It get's us to do some of the most important things… provokes us and gets us thinking and talking. These are the real keys to getting students to learn. So let's talk about it. Let's talk about the issues and really become educated. Do not let the ignorance continue.
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I agree that questioning is the best way to learn but there are some questions you just don’t ask. I didn’t get upset about the whole period or “bleeding” comment but I kept thinking of more examples that fall into the same category. Like guys getting an erection for example. That’s something natural that occurs yet guys don’t go around talking about it. Most guys are embarrassed about it just like a lot of girls are embarrassed if their tampons leak and they get a huge spot on the butt of their jeans. I think comparing the race issue to this is a completely separate discussion. I think people didn’t talk about how blacks were oppressed because they knew what they were doing was wrong but didn’t know how to change it.
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On the ethnocentrism subject, I think it’s extremely hard to step outside of your shoes and experience the world in someone else’s way. Sure we can travel to other underdeveloped countries to give them aid but living like they do for a summer or a year only gives us insight into their lives for that small amount of time. There is no way for someone to truly understand someone else’s life, that’s why I don’t think guys would understand a girl having her period. And they never will because they’ll never experience it. I think a lot of the people in class got so worked up because they didn’t want to hear about girls having their periods, where I was sitting a lot of girls even cringed. I can’t tell you why talking about periods and erections in our society is considered unacceptable and I don’t want to say ‘that’s just the way it is,’ but really, that’s just the way it is. Sam did a good job of asking us that question and it obviously produced a good response. It got me thinking, and I think it got a lot of other people thinking too.
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On the ethnocentrism subject, I think it’s extremely hard to step outside of your shoes and experience the world in someone else’s way. Sure we can travel to other underdeveloped countries to give them aid but living like they do for a summer or a year only gives us insight into their lives for that small amount of time. There is no way for someone to truly understand someone else’s life, that’s why I don’t think guys would understand a girl having her period. And they never will because they’ll never experience it. I think a lot of the people in class got so worked up because they didn’t want to hear about girls having their periods, where I was sitting a lot of girls even cringed. I can’t tell you why talking about periods and boners in our society is considered unacceptable and I don’t want to say ‘that’s just the way it is,’ but really, that’s just the way it is. Sam did a good job of asking us that question and it obviously produced a good response. It got me thinking, and I think it got a lot of other people thinking too.
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I don’t think people are “truly resistant to thinking about something,” I think people enjoy thinking about ‘deep’ subjects but wouldn’t fess up to it. I, personally, ask myself questions like this once and a while. When something is truly astounding and worth thinking further about, I think people will talk about it. That’s how we get smarter! You can take questioning things too far though. The only example I can think of is in religion. That’s when you’re supposed to have faith, and trust what you are being told. I bet a lot of politicians wish it was like this for them too, but since the beginning of time, if you’re being told something, you have to question ‘why.’ Sam’s class is an hour and a half of asking that question and I believe a lot of people appreciate that. He’s really made me realize that I should be asking more questions and questioning why things are the way they are. Most importantly, not accepting ‘that’s just the way it is’ as an answer.
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