posted by Sam Richards
So what if we flip the script on this gender issue and show how it plays out with race? Imagine that black and brown people sit on the back of buses and use separate drinking fountains and so on…and we just don’t discuss it. “I’m not comfortable discussing that because it’s just the way it is. THERE ARE JUST SOME THINGS THAT WE SHOULD NOT DISCUSS.” Of course, this is exactly what people said for decades…upon decades…
Imagine how you’d feel if you saw it differently and thought that we really should discuss that race issue. And then anyone who brought it up was considered to be butting his or her head into places where it didn’t belong…or worse yet, complaining about something that isn’t going to change. “Why do you have to discuss that. It’s not polite. Everything is fine.”
This is one way that this “28 day cycle issue” fits with the race issue, by the way.
AND, it’s a perfect example of ethnocentrism — of our inability to step outside of our own shoes and see the world in a different way, through someone else’s experience. Remember, ETHNOCENTRISM = THAT’S JUST THE WAY IT IS. So when that’s your argument, you are in questionable territory.
Why do I say this? Because if it wasn’t that way, then the class would’ve been bored stiff when I brought up the issue. However, most of you weren’t bored at all but, rather, opinionated and emotionally charged.
And it seems to me that when we’re truly resistant to thinking about something, that is the very moment that we ought to really consider it. Maybe the Tea Party people are right and we really do need some sort of a major upheaval in the United States. And maybe abortion is murder. And then, maybe life does not begin at conception.
Remember that I “woke up” when I was twenty years old after enough people pointed out contradictions about things that I faced every day but did not see — because I was a fish in the water that was my own culture. Crazy how that is. And once I woke up I could not stop asking questions…and I still cannot stop. That’s why I teach. I’m just trying to answer those damn questions.
I thought Sam’s class about the menstrual cycle was very interesting. He told us in the beginning of class that he was going to be himself. I did not realize how deep he was going to go. His profession and own thoughts have brought him to a point where he is mentally un-phased by society. It is a way in which I often attempt to think. When I was younger I was curious and slowly put the pieces together in my mind of why different people had different color skin and different features. I was curious about the affects of evolution. Sam showed his experience in sociology when he got the class so fired up over something that he just happened to make up. He really exposed how contained by society that we really are. Was the image he put in everyone’s minds really that hard to handle. I was surprised to see women so outraged when it is something they see on a regular basis. I guess they may have felt what he was saying intruded on them personally because Sam is not a woman. Going into the class I never expected so many people to become so critical of Sam. People really get uncomfortable very easily when we push the envelope on societal restrictions. Once I was talking to a friends, telling her how much I enjoyed my race relations class and how she should take it. I told her that in our discussion groups we just kick around thoughts about race in our lives. She responded by saying “ I told really like talking about race in public…” I responded quickly “That’s the point!” It is so easy for all of us to give into the societal pressure without wonder. I am always thinking about different ways in my life that I can explore out of my restrictions in any aspect. Sam makes it seem that a lot of sociology is just seeing what society adds onto our evolutionary human nature. Menstruating is a natural function, so it should be nothing different than anything else we do. Society has placed its judgment on it. I do not know how much the world would be different if it was a woman’s world. May be not as extreme as Sam says. I still think society would place judgment on a bodily function like menstruating. But I see how Sam is confused with society how they can be so against hearing about the process that allowed everyone to be born. I think as we have gotten older talking about menstruation is not as bad, it is just not talked about. If someone finds out that a girl is on her period they will not make a huge deal about it, but it is just never talked about so they do not find out. That is also different than the images that Sam was creating for everyone. He really knew how to create an uproar I have never seen student leave a class because something the professor was saying.
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Alright, so Sam as you can see, tangents are cool in class as long as you don't go off on them too long. I understand that the class gets boring, and using the word "bleeding" is used to capture everyone's attention, but it shouldn't be spoken about for half an hour, AND continued into the next lecture. Having "periods" isn't what people exactly have in mind when they speak about social justice issues. A rather more significant issue can be "thinking about women's roles as leaders in society today". Rather than over-exaggerating a biological process in women, or going off on a tangent to get people to think, use more videos. You should even start asking questions earlier to bring up different conversation to make up for time in lecture. That will keep more people engaged rather than periods and being blatant. Its just something I'm voicing my opinion on, I'm not upset with it or losing sleep.
Now onto the "asking questions" thing. There's always an appropriate time and place for everything. Bringing up a racial discussion up at a party or social event and expecting a good conversation? Not happening. Its not happening if you're aiming for casual talk in the lunchroom and someone overhears you either. Talk to a professor in the social department or something, or when you're in the comfort of a friend's place (that you know well) to discuss it. Its not happening at a random place or time if you really want to know the answer to these questions.
Picture it like this: who goes to a party, or out with some friends to have fun and starts talking about the chemistry problem they had to deal with? Not the MAJORITY of people… why? We're trying to have fun and you're "raining on the parade". Now if you were to get dinner with someone and ya'll were discussing it amongst you guys/girls at a table, sure. Or, just simply speak about it while at a friend's house.
When you mention that the majority of people will not question things, its because most of the time people are lazy. This generation is about doing less thinking and working to get what they want, or "instant gratification". People will not challenge something and take a situation for what it is. When people hear about a racial situation, they reply "oh that's the way it is" because nobody is willing to challenge it. Most people are either ignorant to the racial situation, or just too lazy or nonchalant to even challenge the situation.
I agree with you Sam about the "Boston Tea Party" rebellion aspect in the sense that people are becoming less and less willing to challenge their environment or for lack of better words, rebel against something. I myself cannnot even remember the last time someone protested against something… I believe the last time there was a protest was for "stopping abortion". That's just plain pathetic.
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I understand this analogy and what Sam is trying to get at. However, I don’t agree with analogy in the least bit. There are some things that just don’t HAVE to be discussed. Is it such a shock that people don’t want to hear about other peoples bowl movements or periods? I don’t think so. Do I share that I just farted or puked? No. I believe the reason for this has less to do with sexism and more to do with what people are grossed out about. Taking a dump or changing your tampon are not pretty things and one of them smells bad. We all know that everybody does these things, but I don’t think that they must be openly talked about. Sam may say that I am holding on to this constraint that society has taught me, but I just think the reason I don’t like talking about certain bodily functions is because they gross me out. Just like some people are grossed out by blood or have a fear of heights , I don’t like periods or poop. That’s just the way I am.
One reason I think that society has put periods into this hush category is because it happens in the vagina. Almost everything that happens around the “bathing suit” area seems to be taboo in most countries. I believe it was first the church that taught us that this is a “bad” area. The Catholic church made it a sin to touch or pretty much do anything with our private parts, and this tradition has continued for a long time. Just like erectile disfunction is a hush thing to talk about, periods are in this same category.
I will not put down girls for talking about their periods because I know it is a natural function of life. However, it does gross me out and I wouldn’t like for them to describe their flow to me in detail. I know it happens to all women and it is something that none of them can change, just like pooping, but it does gross a lot of guys and girls out, so I would appreciate it if women kept their bodily functions to themselves. I don’t think the correlation between race and periods is relevant. On one hand we have something that none of us can change, and on the other we have a social institution that we put in place and that is fluid, meaning it can and has changed. I do agree that you can’t fault women for having their periods, just like you can’t fault anyone for their race. However, periods are a bodily function and they are gross in my opinion. Race for some people can be gross if they are racist, but for most people it is seen as a boundary that divides us.
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That day Sam mentioned his wife’s 28 day cycle of heavy bleeding I became extremely offended, surprised, and more curious than angry. But it wasn’t at what he said, rather it was at the reactions of a good majority of the class. The uproar was enough of a reaction that I felt it would soon calm down after people got over the shock factor. But as I turned around and saw students up and leave the classroom in shear horror and disgust I became distraught at the stigmas society holds against such a natural thing. I don’t think we can hide behind innocence, the same type that we had in 6th grade health class where the word “Vagina” or “penis” turned us red and giggly. This reaction from the disgusted students in the class seemed to be more of anger and disgust at Sam’s comment and for the life of me I still can’t understand why. I mean are we still at this phase in our lives where girls don’t poop or pee? Did we not read the book “Everybody poops?” I agree with Sam that we need to be more open to accepting these things. And no it shouldn’t automatically be a private thing where the monthly PMS is limited to the bathroom. And what surprised me even more was the embarrassment from the girls in the class at not admitting their period. To have guys disgusted is one thing but to have girls embarrassed about a function they’ve had for quite some time now is confusing. And maybe it is not their faults (the girls that is). Maybe its the majority of the guys that got up and walked out that makes girls afraid to be open about it. I mean I can see not wanting to go around screaming about your period or brag about a huge crap you just took but for goodness sakes people…it happens get over it. I just didn’t see the big deal. Now Sam’s shock factor even got me a bit but I think that was his point. I feel like he was basically saying “you think talking about simple bleeding is bad? Let me show you how gross it can get.” And I completely agree with him. Most of us are not used to being exposed to this kind of stuff and in my defense and in the defense of others, maybe its my premedical background that leaves me un-phased to such topics. I’m not sure but I do know this. One day a girl in your life is going to need support for the changes going on in her body be it from PMS or menopause. I just hope that by then we can get over this and be open to discussing it.
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I think it is really important to ask questions about aspects of life that are deeply rooted in society, and how society influences the outlook of people on these issues. I think about this kind of stuff often but I must say that this whole 'bleeding' thing is something that I've never really considered. At first when Sam went off on the rant about his wife bleeding and what not, I was pretty grossed out. I initially thought that what he was saying was really raunchy. I feel like most of the people in the room were also feeling the same way cause lots of people were like up and arms or storming out of the room. His way of trying to relate hair growing, or being hungry, which are both bodily functions, to girls menstruating was a very bad analogy in my opinion. Obviously bleeding is a way more intimate body function as opposed to hunger. However, I definitely could see some of the points that he was trying to make. We do live in a man's world and I think that this definitely is at least one reason why everyone seems to shy away from talking about it, or at least guys do. I feel like it's more acceptable to talk about it if a bunch of women are in the room, instead of if it's a mix of men and women, because guys definitely just have no desire to talk or even hear about it. This general feeling could definitely be seen by the way in which people reacted to Sam's tyrade over such a sensitive subject. And since the world is mainly dominated by men, menstruation is something that is kept quiet. Granted in the big picture of other problems facing society, I feel like this is a very minor one, but it is an example of people not wanting to talk about it. And this fact that no one wants to talk about these issues, from as minor as bleeding to as major as racism, is one of the of the main problems facing society because nothing will ever get solved when everyone is silent. So I think it was a good move by Sam to address this whole issue, because I understand the point he was trying to make. I just think he maybe went a little too far with it. In the end, I think this whole thing ties in well with the whole race issues because of the whole outlook of most people that they just do not want to deal with it, or the feeling that one person can not make a difference. However, when you have an entire nation of people sharing that exact same feeling nothing will ever be solved.
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As a minority, this post by professor Richards definitely caught my eye and I agreed with a lot of the things that he said. I have never actually asked myself that question, what if instead of the gender issues; we tried to play it out with race. It really is a mind boggling question if you think about it. I mean if we as a country went back to the days of segregation where people of color had to sit in the back of the bus and have separate water fountains; it would be absurd in today society. I could never ever imagine living in segregation. I mean me as a person, here I am junior here at Penn State, and I just look back and think of all the discrimination and all of the stuff my parents went through when they immigrated to this country, and I am so blessed to be where I am. And then I look at myself in the mirror, and there is not a thing I would change about myself, but I still feel as if I face an uphill battle at times in society.
If no one ever brought up the race issue, I think our society as a whole would be totally different. I mean think about it, so much of today’s society is predicated on colored people. Whether it is athletics, acting or singing, technology or whatever it may be. We as a country and a society would not have been the same without minorities and moving past segregation. I don’t care what people say, there is no way we would be as far as a society without people of color. It is up to white Americans I think to realize and close the still existent gap on racial inequality.
I can definitely see the correlation Professor Richards tries to make between the “28 day cycle” and race. Ethnocentrism is still a dwelling issue I think and it definitely still goes on today as well. The people that say “that’s just the way it is” are kind of ignorant and oblivious in my mind. I think that still to this day, it is a very touchy feely issue, and that is definitely why people do not like talking about it. And at times like the when it is crucial to talk about, I couldn’t agree with professor more on when he says that that is when people ignore, when in reality they should be considering it.
I think overall, it will still take a long time for people to fully accept people of color and actually be proactive on talking about the issue. There are so many intricacies and ideas that go into a topic like racial or gender inequality that it undeniably takes a long time to dissect.
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There will never be a complete answer that everyone agrees on when it comes to social problems. There are too many people in the world with their own beliefs and opinions. You can answer all the questions you want when it comes to race and you will always get different answers or thoughts. Asking questions is the biggest tool you can use when it comes to race relations. By sitting down and discussing what you believe about blacks, whites, Asians and others can open your mind to amazing things. When I went to the race relation’s discussion it gave me an insight to what others think and it was all because questions were asked. It lets people say something that they have been holding down for a while and finally feel the need to let it out.
I can see why some people choose to ignore discussing race issues. It seems that these people are usually white or are the ones who aren’t being persecuted. I think they are too afraid to speak their mind because they don’t want to say something wrong. Something else to think about is how people interact when they are with people of a different race. If it’s a group of white people the discussion of race is going to be more open I believe. My discussion group was all white and people were not holding back about what they felt. I wouldn’t be surprised if a few black people were present the conversation would go a little differently.
Before I took this class I was closed minded about discussing how I felt about other races. Over the semester I have realized that the best thing to do is to be open -minded and let others know what you feel. I wouldn’t say I was afraid but I never found the reason to discuss race since it never really affected me personally. I know that racism still exist but on a different level then it was in the past. Just because it’s not as prominent in some respects doesn’t mean we should keep silent.
I know that racism and hate will always be around. There are too many people in the world for everyone to get along. Some of us choose to ignore and let life go on. Others stand up and speak out. To me it’s a loosing cause since you cannot change everyone’s mind. But if people want to do it let them do it. I don’t mind discussing race but I’m not going to walk down the street and go up to a black person and start a debate. Rallies are the best way to get the word out there and should not be silenced. Thank god our country allows free speech and enables both KKK and Black Panther marches to happen. Both sides of the race spectrum should be able to have their time to shine.
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Sam brings up ethnocentrism in the same post that he brings up questions about many controversial issues. Sam tells us how he “woke up” when he was twenty years old and how he is a teacher today because of the fact that he never stops asking questions and aspiring to answer them. I think this is very interesting because as a senior who is about to graduate college and “go out into the real world,” I am seriously starting to see how much we all go along with what society tells us when we are teenagers who do not know any better. Living in the United States, we are all too proud living in what is the “most powerful” nation in the world and being citizens of the country which is known as “international policeman” to ever question our government. It is only once we get older that we start to realize our ability to question not only our government, but the world around us.
It is only because a brave few have stood up and asked pivotal questions, that societal change has been able to catalyze. Thinking back through our nation’s history, every equal rights movement that has occurred such as the women’s rights movement, civil rights movement, and the current movement for gay rights, only happened because small groups of courageous individuals stood up against the societal norm and our government. In addition to right’s movements, specific instances such as protests against the Vietnam War or the Tea Party as Sam mentioned earlier, would never have occurred if our predecessors had always just gone along with the government. Also, controversial issues such as the morality of abortions would never be discussed or make any progress if we never asked questions. As time goes on, new issues come to the forefront of society and become what we question.
Until we separate ourselves intellectually from the ideas and accepted truths that our parents believe, we are just extensions of them. Finally we get to an age where we begin to question what goes on around us, and understand that what our government does to lead us isn’t necessarily what’s best for us.
When it comes to Sam’s connection of the taboo of talking about women “getting their periods” or “bleeding” (in Laurie’s case), I don’t think that it relates directly to issues such as race. While I think that most people refrain from discussing both race issues and menstrual periods because it makes them uncomfortable, I think they are two completely different levels of discomfort. The discomfort of talking about race issues is because people would rather say nothing than take the chance of saying something racially offensive to someone of another race. Also, many people feel that they don’t know how someone of another race would prefer to be address and fear being seen as a racist or that they think they are better than someone else because of their skin color. When it comes to a girl getting her period I think that most guys avoid discussing for the main reason of that they don’t necessarily understand it, why it makes girls act the way that it does, and thinks its disgusting.
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I feel that the only way to ever change anything is to first recognize the issue and then talk about it. Through talking I think that most of the time an issue can work itself out no matter what it is. As far as the issue of the "28 day cycle" I never really thought about it as a big issue or something that is needed to be talked about. I'm not saying that it should be a strict rule to not talk about it, it is only a natural process, but I don't really understand how it could be as important as issues such as racism or segregation.
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Ok. This whole thing about the periods seriously pissed my off. I hated when he started talking about it. I was in that fourteen percent that said that Sam was totally off the mark, so I guess I m one of those women Sam is just "dying" to talk to. I found his whole demeanor during this lecture to be condescending, rude, and just plain inconsiderate. Having your period, is like nothing words can describe. So for me to have a man tell me that I am ashamed of myself for not wanting to talk about it was a whole new level for Sam. I am usually taken aback by his desire to make people uncomfortable, but this was taken to an extreme. Here is something for Sam to chew on. One: Women do talk about their periods. Usually in pretty deep detail. We just prefer to talk about it with other people who know what it is like…aka other women. It is a phenomenon that cannot be described to anyone who has not actually gone through it. So, my friends and I prefer to talk about it with other people who know what is going on and know what we are talking about. And to a lot of people, blood is gross. It does not matter where the blood is coming from. Whether it is a finger, or a vagina. Blood just freaks some people out. Just because something is natural, does not mean that we have to talk about around people we do not wish to discuss it around. What pissed me off the most was his apparent thinking that because he lives with a woman, he knows what it is like and what having a period is all about. He kept referring to bleeding. It is NOT all about bleeding. The bleeding is in fact a very small part of having a period. It is also about the intense pain, sickness, and general feelings of shitiness that we experience both before and during this cycle. I do not want to hear that a man thinks he understands what it is like to have a period. Because, I can guarantee you that you do not. Another part of Sam's talk that got me was his use of periods as a tool to get people freaked out. He says that he cares about the gender issues and is a femminist. If he really cared, he would not have used it as a ploy to get people talking about ethnocentrism. He would have brought it up in a respectful manner that allowed women to actually voice their opinions in a way that would not seem as though he could not be bothered to listen. He often talks about how open minded he is, but in this issue, he so clearly thinks that he is right, that he made those of us who disagreed with him feel stupid and uninformed. As a woman, I found his approach and attitude highly, highly, offensive.
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Sam Richards Reply:
March 26th, 2010 at 9:41 pm
I don’t recall saying that you “are ashamed” if you don’t want to discuss it. In fact, I’m quite sure that you missed my point. Oh well…
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Ethnocentrism is specific to culture or ethnicity but I do agree with the general principle. It is important to examine our own values and be honest and unbiased about our life and values. I grew up raised in a very conservative religion and accepted it without question until the church I belonged to had a couple controversies in which I was prompted to reexamine my values and my upbringing. I saw a lot of biases in myself, my peers, and my church leaders. This is maybe a controversial example but I think I am a better, more free person now that I have seen this.
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Ethnocentrism is a word I know I’ve heard before, but not until now have I actually looked at its meaning and thought about it. It’s not a good word. It’s not as ugly as “racism,” but it’s not good. I guess it’s kind of like passive racism on the grounds that that’s the way it has always been. That got me thinking about the whole “that’s just the way it is” notion. The idea of “that’s just the way it is” is everywhere. It’s extremely pervasive, but it’s so weak. It is one of those things that people say when they are unable to think of a real reason for something, like when your parents answer with “because I said so.” I suppose for a lot of people, tradition is enough of a reason in itself to continue something. They think along the lines of “that’s the way my father did it, so that’s the way I have to do it too.” Everything has a reason behind it and sometimes we need to reevaluate why we think or do something. People who justify something by simply saying “that’s just the way it is” are afraid to reevaluate it because they know they might be wrong. This makes me think of the typical conservative mindset of opposing change for the most part. I consider myself a conservative, so I’m wondering: if I’m writing these things, am I really a conservative? I think it goes deeper than that and I think there is a difference between being a conservative and being a reactionary, so I’m not really having an identity crisis over it.
Sam made an interesting, albeit controversial, point concerning the “that’s just the way it is” mindset that had to do with ladies’ menstruation. It’s something that I never talk about, being a guy and all, and it’s something that I almost never hear other people talk about, so it’s surprising to hear Sam talk freely about it. It isn’t wrong, it’s just surprising because I am not used to it at all. It’s like someone talking about their irritable bowel syndrome. It doesn’t inspire the most pleasant of images in one’s mind, but we can’t pretend that it doesn’t exist. If people just talked about it more, it wouldn’t be such a taboo subject.
The same thing goes for race. So many people accept race inequalities because “that’s just the way it is” and it’s so wrong. We don’t talk about race because “that’s just the way it is” so when it does come up, we become uncomfortable. We have to push ourselves to start talking about it so we may become more comfortable. Then maybe we can make some progress.
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Both men and women believe that the bleeding thing is an issue that shouldn't be talked about. I am personally very apprehensive about talking to a girl about her cycle. I would assume that she wouldn't want me to bring it up. But then turn it around. If I were a girl I would be apprehensive about talking about it, because I would think that a guy I'm talking to wouldn't want me to bring it up. It is one of those stigma, like the black and white thing, that runs deep among everyone no matter their gender. And yes, it is very much a man's world. Although there are forces today that seem to indicate that the gender division is shrinking (like for example the unemployment rate for men is higher than the unemployment rate for women), but men still hold the position of power.
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Sam brought up many very thought enticing questions, made bold statements, and in turn made many of people very upset. I thought what he was doing was rather genius. It is easy to talk about change and how to start doing it but it is a completely different move to actually make a controversial statement and force people to change or at least force them to think about change, hopefully.
When Sam brought up the subject of periods I heard many people grumbling and even a lot of people leaving. These were the same people who previously this semester said that there was nothing that would stop them from saying something if a store owner was discriminating and refusing to serve someone of another ethnicity. He brought up a topic that people don't like to talk about, even me, and tried to ask questions and make us think about why we don't like to talk about periods. Instead of listening to what he had to say and hearing him out many people just left or immediately disengaged themselves from the conversation. I was even uncomfortable paying attention because everyone was acting disgusted instead of digesting Sam's comments. This is what really made me upset. Our resistance to change or to even thinking about change because everyone else was resisting. It's like if I were to walk into a store and see the owner discriminating on a customer of a different race and everyone else in the store was just watching so I decide to just watch, why? Because thats what everyone else was doing. This disease is the reason we owned slaves for so long; this is why women had no rights for so long; this is why marijuana is illegal. We tell people that things are the way they are and not to question them. So no one ever questions these things and when someone does we shun them and put them down for it. I believe that the only way we can progress as a human race is to constantly questions ourselves, our habits, and our government. Some of the questions I always ask are why are men always expected to ask women out? Why is marijuana still seen as a harmful drug? Its not just our fault either I think in many ways its the governments fault for many of these issues. We have biased politicians who use propaganda to persaude people to believe what we want them to. Like back in the 19th and 20th centuries our government convinced our nation that black people are inferior and uncivil. For decades no one questioned this and all those who did were made to think otherwise. It seems as though what America needs more than anything at this point is a movement to become you and think what you want to think. We too often follow and believe what we are told; instead we should start to believe nothing and question everything. If people just did what they wanted to do and not what they thought someone else wanted them to do then I think real progress would be made.
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I agree with Sam when it comes to answering the questions brought about in class. Everything that is said is a factor in life, whether it be a natural occurrence such as a girls period, or an issue such as race. Honestly, the thought of a girls period doesn't bother me at all, and I'm a twenty year old male. It may be because that so many of my female friends have no problem telling me when they are on their period, so I'm just so used to it, but that brings up the point that maybe if we talked about things such as this a little bit more often, such problems wouldn't be nearly as bad because they are commonplace and easy to talk about. And while Sam's definition of ethnocentrism is wrong…sorry but it really is the idea that one's culture is the most important and that a person of another culture will be judged based on the first one's culture….he is right when saying that things are the way they are, everything has a place somewhere whether we like it or not, it is just our ability to suck it up and take it like it is.
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The day we stop asking questions is the day that we give up what it is that makes us human. Humans are the most inquisitive animals on the planet, we are always trying to explain things or to categorize things, or to come up with new and better ways for things to get done. ever since we are born, we try to explore every area that we can get into, and one of the first things anyone says on a daily basis is "Why?".
However, most Americans today seem to follow along with whatever they are told, milling about and asking no questions at all. They go about their daily tasks, accepting whatever misfortunes come their way with blank expressions and doing exactly what they are instructed to. I think its about time that Americans woke up from this lazy, uninformed stupor they're in and see what life is really all about. Life is full of interesting things to learn, and beautiful things to see and experience. Don't always listen to figures of authority blindly. Sometimes you need to take action on your own terms and question the motives of the people who are supposed to be leading us properly. Remember, there are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Now, sometimes there is a time and place where certain questions can be asked and certain questions should be kept to yourself. With regards to class the other day, questions about menstruation and the cycle are acceptable but usually kept quiet in a public setting. There is nothing wrong with bringing them up, its just that in a room full of 700 people, telling those people that you like to go look at it in the toilet is just a little too far. There is a difference between getting people to think, and getting people to vomit, and the line that separates them is not fine, it is wide and labeled with signs. so yeah, i think maybe next time, just keep it a little more in line with topics that wont make people sick to their stomachs and everything should be fine.
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Personally, I ask myself these questions every single day. I feel like as time continues, our government keeps making irrational decisions and we just follow them. How could any society live in a world biased based upon skin color? It doesn’t make sense to me and it angers me because people just followed it. This has been the way it is for centuries. The government makes some stupid decision, that falls back on everyone regardless whether they agree or not, and we take the brink of it. I’m not saying that the government doesn’t make any good decisions, I know they do. Also, I know America is probably one of the safest countries to live in, etc. I feel like most people go through this cycle for the first 20-25 years of their lives, or maybe longer, where they just follow everything that is socially acceptable. Now, obviously people rebel many times too, but this is where they begin to realize that they shouldn’t have to follow everything the all powerful all mighty government says. But even so, we still continue to not break the rules, in fear of jail.
Everything I am saying is obvious, and I’m probably just ranting, but it’s frustrating. Everyone in the country, especially those in power, claim that they know what is good for the people. Bull shit. How can they know what is good for the people when the people who supported slavery believed that they knew too? And yeah it was different times, whatever. It doesn’t matter; it never should have been the case that humans were worth any sort of profit and then forced into labor like animals. And if those people “knew” back then what was right for the country, and the majority followed, then how can we be for sure that it’s not happening today? Yes, more people stand up for what they believe in and fight back, but a lot of people watch the screen and whatever the politicians have to say, they just agree with, even though 80% of it is complete lies. You could be saying that slavery was much too long ago to compare it to today. Okay, well what about issues like segregation in the 1900’s?
And I agree with the whole menstruation cycle deal. Why does it matter? It shouldn’t matter. It’s a part of living.
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I feel that the whole bleeding conversation in class was not bad at all. I just feel like we could have been warned. It has nothing to do with the content of the menstrual cycle. I think we just had a little adjusting to do when it came up. I had no clue what the class was getting into. I saw a dude enjoying his sandwich for a minute and the next he was totally disgusted. It is just the sheer moment of when we should talk about these things. I definitely would not want to be the guy stuffing his face while listening to the phases of the menstrual cycle.
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I think some of Sam’s viewpoints are completely ridiculous, especially some of the things he said in class on Thursday. The whole talking about a girls period issue was just flat out ridiculous. He kept bringing up the question “Why don’t we talk about it?” The reason is because it is just disgusting. Now he said that if they were bleeding from the fingers it wouldn’t be that big of an issue and I will admit he’s right about that, but that is not the case. So since that’s not what is going on and a period works for a girl, it makes sense that people don’t want to talk about it. What I’m trying to say is you can look at it in a different light, but in reality it doesn’t happen with your fingers, so his viewpoint is idiotic. Moving on, I do believe that we should question things that go on in the world, but only to some point. Sure it is good to question things and look at things with a different mindset. It makes you see things in a different light and understand certain things you may not have understood while looking at it the way it is. Having said that, in this class it is said that we have to question things to move forward in the world, which is right, but how long do we have to question these things and talk about it? Are we just supposed to keep questioning every big issue and then keep questioning every single little issue that stems from it. If we keep doing that then we will be stuck in the past and therefore never move forward. I believe we need to question things, but then just let them go and leave them where they are at, the past. Things need to be resolved and then we should move on, lets not keep questioning things for the sake of just questioning things. To sum up what I’m trying to say is that too move on we need to forget. If you think about when your in a fight with your parents over something, what do you do? After you both cool off, you talk about the issue and resolve it, then move on. You don’t just keep questioning because then you will never move forward from the disagreement you had in the first place. In closing, I completely agree with the 14% of people who said Sam was way off the mark in what he was talking about in class on Thursday. I find it even more absurd that Sam seemed kind of mad because people didn’t agree with him, because he thought he was completely right.
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I feel the exact same way about these types of issues. No issue should go unturned or unopened. We should talk about everything regarding race and regular societal affairs so that they no longer become taboo. If people had taken the stance we take regarding menstrual cycles with race and gender, who knows where we would be in 2010? In a time and place where we have so many other controversies and concerns, a 28 day cycle should be the LAST of our worries. So I don't feel like this is a "sensitive" subject and people should not feel so uncomfortable about it.
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I agree with Sam 100%. Both society and our community has a lot to do with certain issue at which we can and can't talk about. Citizen rather talk about war, health care, and so on but not issues that individual face everyday. Why is it when we hear about a woman menstruating we get uncomfortable? But when someone bring up sex everyone gets excited and cheer? Women are silence because they are afraid and uncomfortable about talking about it because no one wants to hear it. So what other choice do they have in this matter.
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While I definitely agree that we should never stop questioning, I think something has to come even before that: we have to get people to *care* about somthing— anything!– first. I was a junior in high school when the elections of 2004 took place. To refresh everyone's memory, that was of course the GWBush vs. Kerry campaign. I can say that an overwhelming majority of my friends came from Republican families, and only a handful of us could be considered Democrats. Being the minority among people that I cared for greatly at the time made me really want to push the political envelope with them. Except, there was a problem. Hardly any of them actually cared about what was going on. I can admit that I wouldn't expect them to care much about the 2000 elections because we were younger and rather naive, but I couldn't believe that someone holding a drivers license could just refuse to have an opinion about something as serious and consequential as the Presidential elections. So did they question anything that was going on? Of course not! They didn't care! And I feel like that's such a widespread problem in our country because 1) people don't believe that it can actually directly affect them and 2) they don't think that their vote/opinion matters or that they can change something if they are unhappy with it. So what are we to do with a bunch of apathetic people who have no opinions about anything? It's frustrating to me because people die every day for this thing that we call freedom, and yet so many just let it slip by not questioning anything.
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I am not really sure what I think about the whole menstruation thing. I guess I am cool with it. I have had sex with girls who were menstruating at the time. I would rather have done it while they were not menstruating, but that didn’t stop me from doing it again, and I will do it again in the future. I have been in relationships with women and they were pretty open about the whole thing. It did not necessarily bother me. If I was attracted to the girl, then knowing that she was menstruating really didn’t affect that attraction at all. I can think of this one instance when a girl told me she was menstruating turned me off, but I wasn’t really attracted to her in the first place (she had bad breath.)
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With regards to whether or not there are questions that “just shouldn’t be asked”, I think that we should be able, in the right situation ask any question. However, some questions are sensitive and cover topics that quite frankly people don’t want to listen to. A topic like bleeding for example would be better suited for a medical class or a women’s studies class.
I think the menstrual cycle thing was hilarious and possibly brilliant. I completely agree that this “mans world” has shaped women to believe that their periods are gross and shameful. However, maybe they are gross? We don’t talk about our shits all the time, so why should we talk about menstruation.
However, at the same time, I understand why people like Sam want EVERY topic to be fair game for debate 100% of the time. Such extreme open-mindedness is healthy and great if you are comfortable with it. But not everyone is comfortable with it and you shouldn’t be forced to listen to topics you are uncomfortable with.
Sam, I agree 100%. I had my own “awakening” about 6 months ago when I realized that I actually enjoyed questioning life and learning was no longer a pain in the ass, but a thirst that constantly needs quenching.
Some questions I feel have been left unanswered are: Why don’t we talk about the extermination of the Native Americans? And why do we only have two parties?
First off, the Native American thing bothers me more than any other social issue. We have black history month, we’ve embraced a lot of black culture like hip hop and such, and we acknowledge that slavery was a horrible crime. However we have not REALLY acknowledged the tremendous crimes we committed against the Native Americans. We don’t have Native American history month, we don’t celebrate their culture at all. They are simply forgotten.
How can this be? Personally, I think the government can accept acknowledging that this “nation of freedom” was founded by eliminating an entire race of people. Furthermore, I think far too many Americans are content with saying “Well it’s a shame but it’s too late to do anything about it…so stop talking about.” My father has that attitude and it absolutely infuriates me. Sam is right this is RED LAND.
I’m not asking for reparations or anything like that. I simply want 1) a formal, written government apology and 2) more discussion about what really happened to the Native Americans, especially in schools.
As far as the two party thing I mentioned earlier, I think the two parties are conspiring to prevent third parties from breaking into a mainstream and increase competition. If we had more legitimate parties we could actually have diversity in our Congress.
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Tomorrow, I will be traveling too many miles down to Harrisburg to take part in one of the many rites of passage required to enter the mystical realm of intellectual bliss known as "Academia"–the GRE general examination. In honor of this, I would like to present this comment in the form of a GRE writing examination essay.
The prompt for this opinion essay will be as follows: "Sam Richards was way off base when he started talking about his wife's 'bleeding' during class. The topic was entirely irrelevant to the course's focus of race relations, and there is no way to justify this gross breach of societal protocol." My response follows.
It is worthwhile to consider the relevance and propriety of Sam's digression on how the topic of menstruation is discussed and handled by our society. On the one hand, the discourse drew interesting parallels between the way society tends to ignore feminine health issues and how society looks at race issues. On the other hand, certain protocols of propriety in a classroom setting were broken by bringing up this taboo topic. However, I believe that it is appropriate to break the usual rules of the "traditional classroom setting" if it is necessary to promote the aims of education and understanding.
First, the question of necessity arises: Was it necessary to resort to unconventional methods of education in order to effectively teach the topics at hand? I would argue that it was necessary, based on the lackluster and jittery atmosphere which was prevalent in the past several classes. Sam initially put forward the explanation that the warm weather outside was making students pine for the end of class—however, the fact that the behavior continued when the weather became colder and wetter indicates a different cause. It seems clear that the cause was in fact that the class was not grasping the material being presented, even though the presentation was competent in a traditional sense. This indicates that a change in teaching methodology was needed in order to impress the significance of the material being presented.
Second comes the question of response: What alternate teaching method would effectively break the class out of this state of apathy? It is clear that many of the students in the class do not have strong opinions about the subject being presented, the phases of racial awareness and more generally the barriers which lie in the way of meaningful conversation on race relation issues. Ironically the root of this is contained in course material itself. The undergraduate population of Penn State (and also the population of Pennsylvania in general) consists of about 83% white people, with the remaining 17% being split between racial minorities. This suggests a large tendency towards ethnocentrism in perspective, and greatly explains the apathy we have seen concerning race relations. As Sam says, "The fish is the last to understand water." A reasonable teaching suggestion would be to draw an analogy with a topic which is more practically relevant to the demographics being addressed.
Third, we must ask about propriety: Given the pedagogical situation, was Sam's method appropriate for his goal of education? Sam chose to relate the issue of race relations with the issue of gender relations, an issue which is quite as much fraught with inequality and societal catches as the topic of our class. And in a sense, the new topic was well-received. Rather than apathy, the students in the class (particularly the women, interestingly enough) were jolted into a state of outrage which is much more conducive to listening (hence learning) than the previous uncaring boredom. Additionally, the choice of topic, the discussion of menstruation in daily interaction, effectively presented the notion that ethnocentrism puts a damper on conversations which could lead to greater understanding between groups in our society. Given that the content of the course was not visually graphic, and was presented in a mature and learned fashion, it seems that the method was an effective tool for increasing individual involvement in the class content.
In light of the answers to these questions, it seems clear that Sam's choice of course material was conscious and well thought out. Members of the class were not responding to the usual presentation of the course content, and some measure needed to be taken to break the general apathy. Given that the class and university is predominantly white, the most reasonable measure would be to draw a comparison with a topic which is more generally applicable to the student body, such as gender relations. And despite the fact that Sam's exposition revolved around a topic which is generally considered "taboo" by our society, the lecture got the point across in a way that broke the apathy without being overly graphic or vulgar. Together, it strongly supports my belief that Sam's digression was both relevant and proper in the context of this classroom.
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I would have to say, as a woman, I respected everything that Sam said in class about the tough topic of bleeding. When he said that we have been trained to be silent and it works in man’s favor, I couldn’t have agreed more. I don’t have any problems talking about my period with my mom, or my sister, or my girlfriends, but it’s not something that I could talk to my dad about or my guy friends. I know some girls are uncomfortable with it but I think in a lot of cases it’s more about how they’ve been raised and told to think that it’s gross and that it should never be brought up. My mom grew up with three brothers and when she got her period, she was embarrassed because her brothers made fun of her and told her that she was gross. She also wasn’t close to her mother who didn’t even ask her about it, or even talk to her about what was happening to her. She didn’t know what to do and actually thought that she was dying. It’s hard when your own mother doesn’t even want to help you. I think that having two daughters has really helped my mom to be more comfortable with it.
Having your body regulated to a certain number of days can be trying and taxing, especially to young girls when you realize that you’re going to have to deal with this every single month for almost the rest of your life. And not only do you have to have this every month but you also get cramps and mood swings and headaches. I remember when I started mine, it was summer and we were going to the beach and I wasn’t allowed to go swimming and I was absolutely devastated. It’s a difficult adjustment for girls, especially if you play sports, and especially when you’re in high school. It’s hard to hide it when you have to go to the bathroom more often and you’re also carrying your purse along with you. I don’t think that women should have to hide it. Women shouldn’t have to apologize to their boyfriends or spouses. I don’t think that they should talk about it unnecessarily and I don’t think anyone needs to see it, but I don’t think the word ‘period’ or ‘bleeding’ should make someone else cringe. It’s not a disease. It’s natural, it’s normal and it’s really not that big of a deal. I look at it as more of an annoying bodily function. To some women, it’s even a relief sometimes, alleviating that fear of an unwanted pregnancy. I think that there needs to be a change and the change needs to begin with women first because if women are not comfortable talking about, then it will never be acceptable to talk about it to a man. (I apologize to my two male TAs for having to read this, I know its TMI)
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AaronBlackwell Reply:
March 30th, 2010 at 2:53 am
Don't apologize Lindsay. When you apologize you're doing exactly what you said you hate, when women have to apologize for there periods. If you really want women to not have to apologize you should stop apologizing yourself!
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Taking a gender based subject, such as menstruation, and comparing it to a race based issue is completely unfair. There is such a thing as common courtesy. Certain subjects are just not discussed out of politeness and appropriateness. Avoiding conversation about such subjects in a large group of company is not the same as discussing why blacks were treated unfairly before Rosa Parks chose to sit at the front of the bus. Talking about menstruation in such large company is not going to be a ground breaking social issue. It is talking about a body function. It is not opening up a new forum of conversation. It is just rude to any of the students who are uncomfortable with the subject. If a guy walked up to me and wanted to discuss menstruation, I would not mind. I can be a very blunt person. If a man wants to know more about menstruation in an attempt to further understand the female mind and body, I have no problem with that. It is when a professor speaks about menstruation to a mixed gender class of over seven hundred students that pisses me off. All I am asking for is a bit of consideration. (For instance a professor should not bring his dog to an exam in case there are any extremely allergic students sitting in the first few rows.) I saw students get up and leave the classroom when the subject of menstruation came up during the lecture. That is one way to avoid the uncomfortable atmosphere or any aversion they had to the subject of menstruation. However I think it is up to the professor to keep his lecture under control and appropriate for the entire audience. The professor could have at least given such a large audience fair warning prior to that day’s lecture. Again, it is all about the consideration. A professor can discuss any topics he wishes, but just be considerate.
I appreciate what the professor is trying to do. He is trying to break down walls to allow conversation and ideas to flow freely. He is hoping to allow our society to break down the boundaries it has built up. It is something not only our society needs, but every society. Creating a world where there are little or no boundaries is what we should be working towards. As I said before, discussing bodily functions in an inappropriate manner is unreasonable. It is not fair to relate that discussion to a race issue. I personally felt that entire lecture was a waste of my time. It was unnecessary and served no purpose other than to gain a reaction from the students. I would have left as well if attendance was not required.
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Sam, I couldn’t agree with you more. From day one of SOC 119, I have viewed you as a crazy hippie who just ranted his crazy ideas. Most of these ideas seemed hypocritical at times, but for once, I feel you are truly looking outside the box and are talking like a sociologist. Though this is a race relations class, and the topic currently at hand is a bit unrelated and unconventional, we are finally getting to something interesting. We are digging deep into our social behaviors and defining why things are the way they are. The whole idea of not being able to talk about your wife’s menstruation cycle in front of a large class such as the one in 100 Thomas, and then calling it “bleeding” just shows that our society is not very open minded. Why can’t we talk about natural bodily functions? One of the strongest points I felt you made is that menstruation is just as natural as cutting your finger and that bleeding, or the fact that everyone’s hair grows. These things happen literally everyday and we talk about them like there is nothing wrong with it. The only way I can try to explain this behavior is the fact that we avoid talking about topics that bring discomfort in some way. Take for example, menstruation. From what I have heard, it can be very unpleasant for women. They have to put up with the mess, the cramps, the mood swings, and so on. That alone is something that would deem a bit of silence. It might be that idea that if we don’t talk about it, it won’t happen. Also, since this is a man’s world, the men may have conditioned society to not talk about it because man found it unpleasant. When a woman menstruated, the man had to put up with the mood swings, and other things that went along with it. They could have found it a bit disgusting simply because during that time of the month, intercourse can be unpleasant for the male. Seriously, who would want to stick their genitals into a bleeding hole? Because of all the negative things that are associated with menstruation, over time, people were conditioned to avoid the topic as much as possible. It became a topic only to be shared by very close individuals with whom you felt you can let your guard down. It’s like flatulence. It is considered rude to fart in front of others because of the awful smell associated with it. So when you are alone or around some very close friends, you are not afraid to let one loose. What I am basically trying to say is that we simply avoid things that bring discomfort. If we really want to be free, we need to be radical. We need to break down these social walls so we may be able to talk freely without offending anyone. That is, when it comes to things natural that we all do.
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When I was pretty stoned this one time, I came up with a theory about life. This theory is that "The only experience you can trust, is your own." It ultimately explains a lot in life, and provides a reason that we should question EVERYTHING that we are presented with.
Think about this. September 11th was a terrible experience for so many people all over the United States and the world. Many people remember where they were when they first heard or saw the news. The majority of people saw these events over television. With modern technology, pictures and film can be altered in many ways. I am NOT preaching conspiracy here by any means. What I am getting at here is that unless you were physically there, one or two blocks away from the towers as they fell, you have had a second hand experience. Whether it's brightness, contrast, the audio track, or even the speed of the film, any variable could have been modified in the images journey from the towers to your brain, unless you were actually there. Think about when you take a picture of a party; let's say a corporate hoes and ceos party; and in the picture all you can see is the upper half of your friends. Everyone seems to look all dressed up standing there in front of the wall and maybe it even passes as just a casual picture. But then transport yourself to that exact moment and look around… Holy fuck, it's a frat castle and none of the girls are even wearing pants.
As much as white people like to believe that they can relate to colored people and discrimination, it will always be a second hand experience. Unless they begin to start asking questions and trying to immerse themselves into that world, they will never fully understand what it means to be black or brown. This is why before their awakening, people don't notice such racism and discrimination. Their experience does not demonstrate the existence of things like that, and they trust in their experience that such things don't exist. By questioning the system in which we live, people start to realize "hey this is pretty screwed up" and think "maybe we should do something about it."
When we all begin to question the world around us, people will start to find that the answers maybe don't correlate to how they thought they should have. Maybe we will start to find inequality, corruption, or racism where we never thought it existed. I think this is what Sam is getting at with the menstrual thing. People don't want to talk about it because it's rude or impolite, but the reason it is impolite is because there are many people who don't have a full understanding of what it is or how/why it happens. If everyone has an equal understanding of something, then it can be discussed freely without having to leave someone out of the conversation. People always want answers in life, but the only way to get answers is to ask questions.
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Normally I would compare a menstrual cycle and race relations but I agree one hundred percent with Sam on this one. Are inquisitive nature is partially what has propelled us to the top of the food chain on planet earth. Questions seem endless when you are a child but as you grow older you are encouraged to not ask questions. Some people develop a fear of asking a “stupid question.” I too had that phobia, that is until I started smoking weed. I joke that the past two years have gone up in smoke but they have actually opened up my mind far beyond my wildest possibilities. For people who have never smoked being high is hard to describe. To me being high is seeing things, in the most part, for what they are. You return to your questioning ways like that of a child. You question everything that you come in contact with. You grapple with questions ranging from the afterlife to what really is smelling or seeing something. You question what you previously thought you “knew.” That ability has made every day much more fascinating and increasingly mystical. I close this with a quote from K’naan, “any man who knows a thing knows he knows not a damn damn thing at all.”
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I think it is just amazing how society and the human mind work. It is actually ridiculous to think about how we all come together and vote on who should be in power. I don’t care who you are or how much education you have, there is no one person that I feel has the ability to run an entire country. Americans are all self righteous about how we have the best system in place in electing a president and we think we have the right to go into other countries and put our system in place there too. Well here is my take on things… Isn’t it fairer to have a system of government where one person or even better yet a group of people can work together and by their own efforts gain control over the entire country? Isn’t that more natural that the strongest or smartest will rise to the top. If one group is in power and another group has the strength to overthrow them, then isn’t it only fair that they are in power because they earned their position there. In nature the lion did not become the “king of the jungle” through campaigning and one vote for each animal; lions fought their way to the top and proved their right to be there. Isn’t this a natural process and one that we should take on as a country?
But wait. Lions did not become king of the jungle on their own. We as humans gave them this title and when we say they are the top of the animal kingdom we mean the top except for us because of course we are much greater than any other animal on the planet. Or are we? Are we really just hiding in our cities and houses afraid to go out into the real world because we know that the kind of the jungle can and will kill us because they are naturally superior. Or are we superior because we figured out a system to protect ourselves? Is anyone really superior or do we as humans place each other in a hierarchy but really we are all the same and we are all equal as humans as well as all equal as animals. So who are these people that run for president and say they are the best fit to run this country, who are they to think they are better than me at knowing what is best and who am I for falling for it?
While we look at other countries and see all of the flaws within their system, perhaps they are doing the same to us, we are just too self centered to see that. And of course we will never let their rational view from the outside take effect because in order to be in charge here you have to be born here and live here for years so you are fully brainwashed before you may take power. We all say we want change and support our political party by going into a little booth every four years and voting between political mold figure one and political mold figure two. We feel good about doing our part and voting and we go home and watch the states turn a little color on the TV. We get a new president and we believe that our vote decided who it was. How do we know it’s not all just an act? Is my vote really counted, does it matter, do we really live in a state where our rulers are predetermined and we are convinced that we, as a country, chose who is in power. Does our feeling of choice give us greater satisfaction in our leader when he is really doing the same thing anyone else would do?
Who knows? It’s easier to just not talk about it or think about it, just like race.
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I think this is a really interesting comparison of the 28 day cycle to racism issues that were not discussed for many years. I feel that many of these issues are not discussed because most people do not know how to relate to them. For example, white people are not necessarily in a place to talk about the experiences of black and brown people who were forced to sit in the back of the bus and use separate water fountains. As a white person, I can understand why this issue is not always openly discussed. I think it simply comes down to the fact that I would not know what to say about it. Although on the other hand, as a woman, I do not mind if men ask me questions about my 28 day cycle. For the most part, many men are completely uncomfortable talking about it or even hearing it discussed by other females who are in the same room as them. They become completely grossed out and do not want to be part of the discussion. I do not understand why this is as, like Sam said, it is a normal part of life. Without women going through these monthly changes, there would never be any babies. So instead of getting completely grossed out by it, many men should be asking questions to learn more about our bodies. As I said before, I have had male friends who were interested in how our cycles worked. Not that they were being gross or weird, they were purely interested because it is not something that they can relate to. As long as a man is not asking me questions just to be obnoxious or critical, I do not mind answering questions about my personal experience with periods. I think this relates to a really good point that we need to ask questions to learn. There are so many things today that we are unfamiliar with, yet we do not tend to ask questions in order to become more familiar with them. Instead, we kind of just accept that we do not understand something and go on with our daily lives. I think it is interesting that children are constantly asking “why?” They want to know what everything is and what everything does and why certain things happen. Their curiosity is what makes them learn in today’s world, yet somewhere along the way we stop asking “why.” This is something that I am not really sure why it happens. At some point, maybe we do not want to appear incompetent anymore. We want to make it appear that we know everything about the things around us and we do not have to ask questions. In reality, that is never the case. No one knows everything and I think it is important for us to keep asking “why” in order to expand our knowledge.
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I thought it was really weird when Sam was talking about menstruation in class, not because of what Sam was talking about, but because so many people in the room were suddenly disgusted and very outspoken about, which has never happened for any of the other “taboo” topics that Sam has brought up before. Apparently everyone, no matter what race or gender, is disgusted by public discussion of the menstrual cycle. I’m not, but I’m not necessarily a great measure of what is disgusting and what isn’t. Being a pre-med major, I’ve seen and done plenty of things already that the majority of people would consider totally disgusting and inappropriate for any sort of public conversation. But this whole discussion in class made me question and think about some of the things that Sam brought up in the next class, like why is it so weird for us to talk about this topic, but a lot of us have talks about race issues and LGBTA issues. Half of the world is made up of women, and half of the world menstruates or has done so at some point in their lives, but we never talk about. On the other hand, far fewer than half of the world is LGBTA, but we have no problem talking about any of those issues. From a purely logical standpoint, it would seem that it would be weirder to talk about LGBTA issues than menstruation.
I agree with Sam in that it’s important to question. If people never questioned, then things would never change. We would still have slavery. We would still have oppressive dictatorships. We would probably still be in the dark ages for that matter. I understand the argument that menstruation is a personal thing, but how is something like race issues not personal as well? Because everyone can see what race you are? Well guess what, everyone can also see that women are women, and everyone knows that women menstruate. It’s not some sort of secret.
I think it’s kind of a shame that Sam has had to defend himself twice about this already, in class and on the blog. There is nothing inherently wrong with talking about it, and anyone listening can choose for themselves whether they want to join in the discussion or just ignore it completely. If you feel uncomfortable talking about it, then you could just turn on your iPod and ignore it. Or you could question why you feel uncomfortable about it instead of just attacking Sam for saying it. We should all know perfectly well by now that Sam isn’t just intentionally trying to offend us, but that he’s trying to get us to question why we are offended.
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This is my absolute favorite post you have ever written Sam. This post brings up so many questions and answers that I was wondering. First is the twenty-eight day cycle. I honestly had not the slightest idea as to why you kept talking about it in class and on the blog and why people were commenting on it. In my last post I was completely on the side that said, “I just do not talk about this issue, it is not politically correct, it is not how I was raised, I am a private person, and I keep issues like my period to myself.” After reading this post I kind of see the “light” so to speak. Like you said years ago when there was segregation between whites and the other races no one spoke of how they thought it was wrong and if they did they were looked at as if there was something wrong with them for speaking up. As I said in my previous statement I now understand why you brought up menstruation. It kind of puts me back into the shoes of others years ago and think about how they would feel talking about that certain topic. It is sad to think that the way I felt when you started talking about periods was the way most people felt years ago. I can only think of one word that says how I was feeling and it is disgust. This really saddens me because this must have been how others were feeling when people spoke up regarding race relation issues. Obviously we have come a long way and talking about race issues is not as big of a problem as it was years ago (even a few years ago), but finally realizing after reading this post how it would feel to talk about race not too long ago is something I will never forget.
I really think that you should use this analogy in all of the remaining classes you teach of Soc 119. You may have said in class why you were talking about it, however, I feel that considering it is something that everyone was sort of blindsided with most of us were not paying attention to why you said it instead we were paying attention to what you said. Seeing why you said it on the blog and how it correlates to race relations made it SO much easier for me to understand. It actually sparked even more of an interest in me to further think about race relations. Most likely the students will react like a large amount of the class did, but once everyone realizes what it means I have not one doubt in my mind that they will feel how I feel, appreciative.
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Sam, I have to admit I was one of those girls whose mouth dropped open when you started talking about your wife’s bleeding. But then I really thought about your point of view. Why can we talk about? Especially as adults in college, we are all over 18 years of age and we can’t talk about a normal bodily function that happens to women. And thank god this thing happens to women or there would be no reproduction in today’s society. I think part of the reason half of the class was outraged was because this topic was so randomly brought up and I think a lot of the women in the class felt like you just publically embarrassed your wife in front of 700 students. I had no idea she was as comfortable discussing her 28 day cycle as you are. I think it is great and a good example to others how open you two are not only with each other but with other people. You both are not afraid to say what you think and feel. I think it is interesting how you flipped the scenario and compared a girls menstrual cycle to people of color segregated by water fountains and busses. I do agree that this topic is an example of ethnocentrism, we, especially males should be able to put themselves in a women’s shoes and be more understanding of this annoying “thing” that happens to women every month. I know my boyfriend used to get so freaked out by this topic that I couldn’t even say the world period. It was always .. are you on your “time” right now? After months of dating he is finally starting to be more accepting of it and can have conversations with me about it. I think the reason we are truly resistant to talking about this subject is because of how this issue was handled when we were younger. When I was in grade school the girls and guys are separated when it was time to have the health and sex talks. Why ? if the males had stayed in the room and been educated on girls menstrual cycles early in life, like women are, maybe most men wouldn’t be resistant to talking about it. Instead of facing this problem head around males and female tend to go around it because we are embarrassed, women almost are ashamed that this bleeding happens to us. I can’t imagine living in a world where we didn’t question things. Thank god you question as many things as you do because it really opens the minds of students. How else can we make progress. And besides isn’t sociology all about questioning things, if you don’t like it why would u take this class. Open your mind up to new things and experiences.
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Well I think Sam definitely succeeded in getting people to start conversations about all sorts of things we don't usually talk about- I've never seen soo many people talking about menstruation haha but I agree with a lot of the previous posters. I don't think the big point to get across here is whether or not we should talk about "bleeding" but rather to question why some things are never talked about and why our cultural norms and rules of politeness are what they are. His method was a bit unconventional- asking all of the girls in class if they were currently bleeding- but the point was clear. Our society is completely ruled by these norms and rules and values that were made up by God only knows who and if we hadn't started talking about things that were unconventional, we would never make any progress in this country. People used to not address or deal with racial inequality, and if that didn't change we'd still be a segregated and messed up society. And, not too long ago, people didn't want to talk about homosexuality- it made them uncomfortable and it wasn't considered "polite" to discuss. But that has changed so much in the past couple decades and look at how much our country is changing because of it- laws now protect gay people from discrimination in jobs, housing, etc and we're even taking steps to completely legalize gay marriage. So pretty much without talking about the current state of things, we can never get anywhere and we'll be stuck in that past so I say keep it up Sam- keep making people uncomfortable, because at least your getting people to talk about shit.
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Lets talk about feces today. lets talk about what color your feces was. was it brown? did it have a green hint to it? was it corny? was it nutty? or how about vomiting, lets talk about vomit… NO! LETS NOT!!!! race color and periods are completely different. Period cycles are normal for a girl to have, just like pooping is a normal thing to do. I go and poop about once a day and get on with my life without having to have to discuss it around the table (unless it was huge than of course I have to tell everyone and take a picture of it with my cell phone, duh!) . Now some of this is a little rediculous like a past post from last week the girl said she asked her sister to throw her a tampon and her mother flipped shit on her. that is a little weird, but that doesn't mean that I should be cool with girls talking about their bleeding vagina's in class just like they shouldn't have to listen to me talk about my pooping butthole. Maybe sam can prove me wrong and say no back in the day it was only because their vagina's bleed as to why women were oppressed and not aloud to vote but I feel their are other factors involvedas to why men have made women almost (if not totally) sub human. oh look! my pussy toe nail is about to fall off… WHO CARES! and why does it need to be brought up ?
moving to the always questioning things. I get that we should question things, but I cant stand people that think they are so edgy and hip because they question something. Sam Richards like dildos in his butt… or does he? you know, just asking the questions. If everyone questioned everything nothing would ever get done or be3 accomplished. For example this race relations project website; If I sit around and question what the motives are I could probably come up with some pretty crazy conspiracy theories no matter what sam says. or I could just do my damn piece so I can get a grade and pass college.
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Ever since taking SOC 001 with Sam two years ago, I never stopped asking questions. It’s not like I didn’t before taking that class but I always kept those questions to myself and let it be. It’s crazy how we are entrapped with so many questions and issues about anything and everything. As an Asian-American, I wondered why my eyes were smaller than most people’s… maybe it is “just the way it is,” but why is that we are made this way? As an American, I wondered how we came to the quota of using certain words as derogatory or profane, like the f-bomb; maybe it is “just the way it is,” but people have to ask themselves those kind of questions sometimes, whether it reaches on a dynamic or small-sized scale.
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Sam, I’m going to agree with you one hundred percent. You know, I’m one of those people who like to question everything. I like to find answers to things that a lot of people don’t care about. Social interaction captivates me and nothing else interests me more than trying to find out why people tick the way they do. It blew my mind that people got so offended by that comment. Like, why is it such a touchy subject? EVERY WOMAN DOES IT. Just like men like to brag about the size of the shits that they take. I agree a lot with what you said in class about how if women ruled the world it would be perfectly acceptable. They would be bragging about it instead of sheltering it. Like I’ve said repeatedly, people need to quit being so damn sensitive to dumb things. By the way, I would love to have your job. And be able to be as open about things.
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Ok….. so I understand where Sam is coming from. I also understand the reason behind him teaching this class. Meaning that he is supposed to open our eyes to different views even if we choose not to follow them. The menstrual cycle topic is acceptable because it is just another topic that is and can be controversial if shed more light upon. Yes, I do also believe that this is a man’s world and that women’s problems and life experiences are very frequently overlooked. However, NO ONE wants to sit up in class and talk about this shit for a whole two weeks! I am sorry but I myself am a very open person and don’t mind talking about much, but when the focus becomes blood that comes out of a woman’s private parts for two weeks straight…I have a problem with it. I do not feel that it should be overlooked and I do feel that men should be educated on it a little more. But this is getting sickening. I barely want to see my period when it comes on, barely want to think about it when it’s not on! So NO I don’t want to sit and talk about it all day with my teacher who thinks it is cool to look at his wife’s blood in the toilet! Me personally being a woman I think that it is the most disgusting and unsanitary period of time in the world, and it is frustrating me that this is becoming such a main focus! Sam, I was with you on every discussion we had in your class so far. Even when it had to do with my own race being prejudice or me being an angry black woman. But you definitely lost me when you spent more than one class period on this shit! Every time I go on the site to do a blog there is something new up relating to this “bleeding” crap! Can we get some more blogs? A better variety? Please end this it is getting old! And to add a comment to the class no one wants to know if you are bleeding right now because personally I do not care! Now as for comparing it to race issues….Not even comparable! Reason being is because this is something that affects people negatively and destroys their quality of life by segregation. Women are not being treated negatively or unequally because they have a menstrual cycle! It is just not talked about because that is something that is personal for that woman, just as women don’t talk about their sexual life or partners as openly as males. If anything women are being treated unequally simply because they are women! They don’t have a penis! Yes maybe the world would be different if men went through the same things as women but the world was not made that way. Women have vaginas and men have a penis. We were created differently from the beginning because that is the way it is supposed to be! But it was not in the plan for individuals who have a different color skin to be treated differently. I might be wrong but I needed to vent! Sorry if I offended anyone.
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I like to find answers to things as well. I can't stand the itch I get when I can't figure something out. So, like every human being, I just let some problems pass; I don't have an answer, so I move on. It is what it is. Everyone must feel this way about something. I think there are many people who have stepped out of their box and understand that there's many things we don't have an answer to, and they're up for judgment and opinion. But yes, there are a few that live in their own secluded world, denying things that could cause potential questioning and frustration. Of these matters, I don't find bleeding to be one. I think that in a smaller class if the same topic was brought up, a conversation could presume.
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I agree with Sam. I do not see a reason for us to stop questioning things. Sam talked about ethnocentrism and our ability to step outside of our own shoes and see the world in a different way. If we do not question or try to learn more about other people and cultures, how can anything in the world change? Personally, I am always thinking. I always question what it would be like if I were another race. Would anything be different? Would I live in a different place? How would I feel? These types of questions are those that should be asked. When Sam showed us the video about the dolls, I was disgusted. If people do not question, there will be no change on issues such as the doll situation.
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Yeah this is definitely a tough topic that a lot of people had there best "wtf" faces on that day when it was asked. I believe everyone is entitled to their opinion, but sometimes that opinion is not socially acceptable. But really what is acceptable? It's what we, as humans, categorize as the right and wrong thing to say. Somethings are still hard to talk about and most people just want to entirely forget the conversation even happen. I respect Sam for bringing up this point and at the same time I can see how it's awkward. I really don't know what viewpoint to go with Sams, or the class because they both have a good point. I think we were never brought up saying that announcing when a ladies friend comes for the month. It's not what we think is right.
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It is understandable that problems need to be talked out as much and as often as possible, but your comments in class do not warrant something that needs to be talked out. Furthermore, I understand that you believe that we should be free to talk about it and be open, but connecting this to race, for me, really holds no similarities. There are some things that should be kept private, and I believe that as men we do not need to be concerned or have to know about these things in the least, so I don’t think that this was really “barrier-breaking.”
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I think ethnocentrism, is a great topic to talk about especially in a soc class. I mean obvious 'bleeding' isn't something we all want to talk about or hear about daily. But, Sam was right. This is a natural occurance, just like your stomach growling, hair growing, and nails growing! It is disgusting to think about this bodily function but theres nothing wrong with it. The post above mine made a great point, making people uncomfortable in class starts a great conversation topic. Example, this topic. I think its a great thing to make people uncomfortable and talk about issues that not everyone thinks about, or feels comfortable with. But because of the uncomfortable feeling it makes the topic a lot more interesting and makes people learn and realize new things that they would have never even ran across before. Im eager to see what else sam brings up that makes the class feel awkward and the great conversations that will stir from it.
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I agree with Sam. I absolutely love the way he questions topics that most people would not even touch, or think about. He completely opened my eyes to think about issues and being so immersed in one’s culture and the way things are that you do not even question it anymore. I can honestly say every time I leave this class my head is always up in the clouds wondering and questioning something, most of the time I’m wondering about subjects that never even crossed my mind growing up. I love the way Sam forces you to really look at issues and think outside of your own box.
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This is a great post by Sam; he brings up an important topic that we may have touched on in a certain way in my SOC 119 class. Asking questions is undoubtedly an unimaginably important aspect of life. Without questions you have no answers. Brilliant minds who have asked questions shaped the world into what it is today. And it was mostly for the better. There were many issues in the past that people refused to ask questions. Slavery in the United States back in the day is a perfect example of this. Blacks were forced to be slaves of the whites. “It’s just the way it was.” Ethnocentrism was abundant in those times. There were major problems here in the United States, but they kept on being overlooked and simply not discussed. Of course there were always people who asked questions, but until it was done by a person with power, nothing was really done about the problems that existed. Today the problem of ethnocentrism still exists, and will continue to exist. There is no possible way to eliminate it, but we can try to reduce it. It is important to question anything that you think is morally wrong. You must “step outside your own shoes” and look at the world in someone else’s. The world does not revolve around one individual and no one is right about a topic 100 percent of the time. It is important to ask questions and discuss every possible topic. We have to work together to move forward and better ourselves. We as individuals are weak, but as a group we can do big things. Those people who only care about themselves and will not look at things from a different point of view are slowing down our progress. Fixing this problem will not be easy. Every time you turn on the television, specifically a news station, there are people arguing about a certain topic. One person tells you to think one way about something, and another wants you to support a different view. With so many people on news stations arguing about topics, it is hard for us as viewers to not do just the same. Nothing should ever be looked at as being “just the way it is.” Things are a certain way for a reason, and it is everybody’s job to find out if that particular reason is right or wrong. If the reason is justified, you move on to the next topic. If you feel the reason is not justified, then question it and try to solve the problem to make things better. In a world were so many people hate each other and can not get along, it is important for everyone to try and move forward. Start to discuss topics and come to an agreement to better ourselves and our country.
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Before I started this class I did not spend much time questioning the way of the world. Things like what it means to be white and the fact that the persecution of the Native Americans is not talked about never really crossed my mind. As I get older and further through college, and this class, I am really starting to question my surroundings and different issues in society. I certainly had never thought about the fact that women’s periods are so taboo in our culture. I think Sam brings up a great point in that we need to question things like this. Like his blog says, if we never decided to discuss segregation and other major issues we would be a lot less further along than we are today. I think that with big issues like that it is society, the media, and the government that pursued people to leave the issue buried deep so that no action has to be taken. An issue like “bleeding” is a different area to deal with because there is no law that can be created that will force people to deal with it. Personally I do not really feel comfortable talking about periods. As Sam pointed out to all of us that is just because we have never done so in the past so nobody is used to it. If we had been talking about periods for the last 50 years it would not phase me for a second to hear a girl talk about it. But unfortunately the subject does make me cringe and I would rather leave it to the girls to discuss. In reality this is bodily function that every girl has and it does not make a whole lot of sense that talking about it must be kept so secretive. Unfortunately I do not see any way of getting people to change their minds on an issue like this. We dealt with it in class and now I am a lot more willing to hear discussion on this issue and the more I hear the less I will find it unnerving. I guess one thing that girls could do to make guys confront periods is to just talk about it. If they ignore the fact that it makes guys uncomfortable than we will have to deal with it, and the more we deal with it the easier it will get to talk about. There are definitely a lot more issues like this that are being ignored and should be questioned by everyone. To learn anything in this life you have to ask questions. You also have to question things that are easy not to question. If everyone refused to change their opinions than we could not continue to advance and break barriers.
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I loved that you brought up this issue in class. Not necessarily because of the topic of “bleeding” but the idea of it. Everybody in class was so surprised to hear you talking about this conversation and probably wanted you to just stop talking and change the subject. However, you kept pushing the subject. I liked how Sam questioned why it was so weird to talk about. We are all people just living this game we call life so why are certain topics so uncomforting for people to talk about?
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People have many different opinions on the subject of “bleeding”. As a male, I don’t feel like it’s that weird to talk about. It’s a natural thing that all girls go through. I would not want to go into too many details though. I think that it is very different for girls though. It’s something that actually affects them. They have to live through it. I think that from a young age, girls are taught by their mothers to not talk about it. You don’t ever want to tell other people when it’s your time of the month. I have never really talked to a girl about their period. It doesn’t tend to come up in conversation. I would really like to know why they find it so offensive to talk about.
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