posted by Sam Richards
Coincidentally, Laurie was in a play tonight where SHE talked about bleeding. By the way, that’s her word, not mine.
25
Mar
Coincidentally, Laurie was in a play tonight where SHE talked about bleeding. By the way, that’s her word, not mine.
But as I turned around and saw students up and leave the classroom in shear horror and disgust I became distraught at the stigmas society holds against such a natural thing. I don’t think we can hide behind innocence, the same type that we had in 6th grade health class where the word “Vagina” or “penis” turned us red and giggly.
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I think that Laurie makes really good points in this video. The one thing that stuck out to me the most is how she implies that women almost try to hide the fact that we are women. The menstrual cycle is the most obvious detail that separates women from men, so why are women so afraid to talk about this?? Especially because a lot of women will go all out trying to find pretty dresses, nice shoes, the best make-up etc to show the feminine side of herself, but when it comes to her period which has "WOMAN" written all over it they do not show it!
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That day Sam mentioned his wife’s 28 day cycle of heavy bleeding I became extremely offended, surprised, and more curious than angry. But it wasn’t at what he said, rather it was at the reactions of a good majority of the class. The uproar was enough of a reaction that I felt it would soon calm down after people got over the shock factor. But as I turned around and saw students up and leave the classroom in shear horror and disgust I became distraught at the stigmas society holds against such a natural thing. I don’t think we can hide behind innocence, the same type that we had in 6th grade health class where the word “Vagina” or “penis” turned us red and giggly. This reaction from the disgusted students in the class seemed to be more of anger and disgust at Sam’s comment and for the life of me I still can’t understand why. I mean are we still at this phase in our lives where girls don’t poop or pee? Did we not read the book “Everybody poops?”
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After reading a few of the blog responses and listening to Laurie’s, I think that men are getting a little bit bashed for the way that we act and the things we say when women have their periods. Many girls say that having their period is the most excruciating pain they have ever gone through and so on and so on. This may be true, but when getting your period is fit into your schedule and planned every month I think that women should be able to handle themselves differently. That’s just my personal opinion though. Every girl is right in saying that men don’t understand what it feels like, I just think that pain is something that all people deal with and force themselves to get through in the most patient and polite manner. Why should having your period be any different? Why do all women get a free pass to be crazy for a few days? And when I say crazy, I mean crazy. Not as an insult, but as a medical phenomenon. In fact, amongst psychiatrists it is being discussed that PMS is an actual physiological disorder and that women are actually crazy. Just sayin.
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Personally, I don’t really agree with Sam’s views on women getting their periods. I also don’t really understand how it fits into the whole race conversation. I think it is simple: women get their periods every month so they can procreate. Since the beginning of time women have gotten their periods, and it really isn’t any different than what happens today. I do agree that the whole talk of women getting their periods shouldn’t be a taboo conversation; however, I think that Sam kind of dramatized the whole thing and made it seem like a bigger deal than it really is.
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kenthethird Reply:
March 26th, 2010 at 9:33 pm
Yea, I don't know what more we should do in the world to better the situation. yea I guess Sam is suggesting that we all listen to women more when they talk about their struggles. Like you say, its been happening since the beginning of mankind, have women wanted days off during that part of the month before?, I'm sure. This day in age though, everyone is so conscious of disease that we're always looking for reasons to bring medical treatment into the picture, which happened with symptoms of pms. It certainly shouldn't be a tabboo conversation, and I don't really think it is. I don't think a man would walk away from a woman talking about her issues regarding her cycle, but I don't think he could carry on a good conversation. There are many symptoms of a woman's cycle that anyone can relate to (unhappiness, anxiety, headaches, insomnia), all of which effect people of any race or gender. Bleeding from the vagina is the only female exclusive symptom and it's unnerving conversation because it's blood, it seems logical why many woman don't openly talk about it.
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erew
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I don’t think we can hide behind innocence, the same type that we had in 6th grade health class where the word “Vagina” or “penis” turned us red and giggly. This reaction from the disgusted students in the class seemed to be more of anger and disgust at Sam’s comment and for the life of me I still can’t understand why.
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I don’t think we can hide behind innocence, the same type that we had in 6th grade health class where the word “Vagina” or “penis” turned us red and giggly.
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I don’t think we can hide behind innocence, the same type that we had in 6th grade health class where the words associated with private parts turned us red and giggly. This reaction from the disgusted students in the class seemed to be more of anger and disgust at Sam’s comment and for the life of me I still can’t understand why. I mean are we still at this phase in our lives where girls don’t poop or pee? Did we not read the book “Everybody poops?” I agree with Sam that we need to be more open to accepting these things. And no it shouldn’t automatically be a private thing where the monthly PMS is limited to the bathroom. And what surprised me even more was the embarrassment from the girls in the class at not admitting their period.
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To have guys disgusted is one thing but to have girls embarrassed about a function they’ve had for quite some time now is confusing. And maybe it is not their faults (the girls that is). Maybe its the majority of the guys that got up and walked out that makes girls afraid to be open about it. I mean I can see not wanting to go around screaming about your period or brag about a huge crap you just took but for goodness sakes people…it happens get over it. I just didn’t see the big deal. Now Sam’s shock factor even got me a bit but I think that was his point. I feel like he was basically saying “you think talking about simple bleeding is bad? Let me show you how gross it can get.” And I completely agree with him. Most of us are not used to being exposed to this kind of stuff and in my defense and in the defense of others, maybe its my premedical background that leaves me un-phased to such topics. I’m not sure but I do know this. One day a girl in your life is going to need support for the changes going on in her body be it from PMS or menopause. I just hope that by then we can get over this and be open to discussing it.
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This whole issue about “bleeding” is not a big deal to me. However I do understand why it has stirred up so much talk, but I am not sure why we are still talking about it. Our society does not openly discuss a female’s period. Females do not converse about their periods outside of their homes, families, or even with males. So I understand why this caused uproar, especially since Sam (a male professor who females are not comfortable with or know very well) talked about his wife’s period and used the term “bleeding.” We are not used to being this open with close family and friends let alone with a stranger or our professor. Also, I just thought about how the media advertises the toiletries for females on their menstrual cycle. The ads and commercial all show women talking about tampons and pads. We never see men talking about it. Even in the commercials we never see men buying tampons for women because our society only allows for this discussion to be amongst women.
The only thing that was disturbing or “nasty” was when Sam stated that he sometimes wanted to see the blood. Now although my family and I are open I would think something was wrong with them if they wanted to see it. Most people would not want to even picture, especially males, of how it looks.
Although Sam’s comment is unusual and foreign to our society it is human nature. Everyone knows that it happens to females once a month and sometimes cycles may vary if taking a form of birth control. I never realized that many females were uncomfortable talking about having their periods openly or even to males, especially those in college. In my household we are very open about this; I live with two males in the house, father and brother. When I’m on my period they know and not because they notice my mood has changed but because I tell them. My family is open with this even family member’s outside of my immediate family. Maybe this is strange to others but it does not change their view of me when I tell them because they know that during sometime in the month I will get it. So when Sam was talking about it I thought it was weird coming from my professor but I quickly soon I got over it because I never treated it as something was a secret because everyone here knows it happens all year round, every year. So I agree with Sam that this should not be a big deal. If men can talk about any and everything with male or female then this discussion should be okay.
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Laurie’s performance was a very good one! I appreciated her personal stories about her bleeding. I thought it was interesting how she basically described that she used to be ashamed of that aspect of her life, but have now accepted it and how it is a part of her. I found it interesting how she referred to bleeding as a burden that no one else realizes or comprehends. She also said, at the end, that inequality means nothing if she cannot admit that she’s a woman. This is where I differ from Laurie. I believe that the menstrual cycle is very important, monumental and is what sets us females apart from our male counterparts. But, I don’t believe that my not talking about it makes me any less of a woman than her. I believe that as people, we have the inherent right and choice to choose what we want to talk about. I don’t think its fair to say that since I don’t want to talk about my menstrual cycle, that it makes me less woman or that I should be ashamed of that. I have the choice, I am a woman.
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Personally, I thought that everything Sam mentioned about “bleeding” was very interesting. It was something that I never really thought about before. Of course, being a girl, I’ve thought about my period (and I have to think about it constantly when I take my birth control pill every single day), but I never really thought about it being unfair that women can’t talk about it. I guess I always thought of it being just one of those things that are inappropriate to talk about. But then again, what isn’t? Especially now that everything has to be so politically correct. Almost the only thing you can talk about in public is the weather. But I always just put “bleeding” in a category with going to the bathroom. Nobody really talks about urinating or “the other one” either because it isn’t polite. But all of those things are natural. Everyone does them. When did peeing become something that is rude to talk about? It’s just as normal as eating or drinking. I guess I always thought it was kind of dumb that we can’t talk about those things, but that’s just the way it is. And I put periods in that same category.
Now that Sam mentions it though, I think it is really interesting that women are actually embarrassed about bleeding every month. Most women aren’t about to announce that they are on their period. My friends and I talk about it all the time… unless there is a guy around. Because they don’t want to hear about it. I never thought anything of it, though. Why would they want to hear about it… it’s really quite gross when you think about it. But then again… guys talk about pooping all the time when they’re just with each other. Even girls sometimes do, too. But if you notice, girls won’t talk about pooping in front of guys. Not to be too feministic or anything, but I think that sucks. My boyfriend always jokes around and says, “Girls don’t poop.” Where did that mentality come from? Clearly both men and women have always gone to the bathroom. Both number 1 and number 2. Why is it that some guys can’t wrap their heads around the fact that girls do it, too? I don’t mean to attack all guys… I just think it’s pretty interesting.
I think the fact that guys don’t like to talk about periods makes a lot more sense than guys not wanting to hear about girls pooping. I can understand their ignorance. It’s sort of like white people that are unaware of race issues. They don’t experience it, so they don’t understand it, and they’d rather not talk about it. So I agree with Sam. I don’t think that women should be silenced about it, but I don’t really blame the guys for not understanding. The whole “girls don’t poop” thing though…. Like really? Come on, guys. We all poop.
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Well, what is stopping women from talking about it? Just because men are grossed out by it, doesn't mean you can't discuss why you feel the way you do. I feel like women don't usually talk about it because its a private issue that men certainly couldn't relate to. The simple fact that blood is involved automatically makes it an issue that some people won't be comfortable with, most times the sight of blood is unnerving. The reality that bleeding is a regular part of a woman's life is hard to grasp for those of us that only bleed when we get injured. I think it's obvious WHY it would be an uncomfortable subject, a lot of people get sick to the stomach when they see blood. Everyone is aware of PMS, it's regarded as a disease by pharmaceutical companies and that's why we see commercials for products that treat symptoms from PMS. I don't think women are being ignored for this issue, but Its hard to sell bleeding as a beautiful process in human life.
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First of all, I think it is great that Laurie is so open and willing to talk about her menstrual cycle and feelings about it in public. I don’t have a problem talking about it either and when I am with my girl friends it comes up, mostly when one of us is on our periods. I don’t think that it is something that many guys need to hear about though. I know I don’t like to be made to feel uncomfortable in conversations so I don’t see it as my place to make other people feel uncomfortable in conversation. Like Sam said, it is a natural occurrence like being hungry and your hair growing but so is going to the bathroom and that’s not something I share with other people either. While talking to one of my guy friends who is also in the class, we were trying to think of something we could kind of compare it to. The only thing we could think of was masturbating. I would really prefer that he keeps that, and the rest of his sex life for that matter, to himself. Going back to the growing hair and hunger, they are both things both men and women experience. When we have something in common, it makes it a lot easier to talk about. I prefer talking to girls about menstruating because they can relate to what it’s like and the feelings I’m having, guys can’t.
Another small issue I have with this speech is when she calls her period a suffer. Trust me, I understand what cramps are like and how awful and tired periods can make you feel. But I know some people who would take the pain and the fatigue to have a period. I know girls who have health conditions that prevent them from having their periods at all or who have an unnatural cycle and don’t know what is causing it or if they will ever be regular. What gets me through it sometimes is knowing that because I go through this natural occurrence every month, I will be able to one day have children. One of the most important things to me for my life is to have a family. Children are a big part of my life and having my own is something I can’t imagine my life without. By having a period every month I it reassures me of my dream. I don’t think it’s fair for people to complain about something that provides such miracles. Even if you don’t want to have children, there are so many people who would kill for those five days a month.
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I give Laurie a lot of credit for talking about this so freely. I understand it is difficult for many women, including women in our class, to freely talk about their periods. She seems very comfortable with the subject, just as Sam was while he talked about it in class. A lot of previous comments were complaints that women weren’t comfortable enough with the topic and that men didn’t know enough about it. I don’t think it’s fair to make that judgment at all. It honestly does not bother me either way. I don’t mind that women don’t want to talk about it, and I also don’t mind that men don’t know much about it. Sure, the basics are important to know, but how much do women expect men to know? I don’t think they are as ignorant as some of the comments in this post, and other posts, say. I think they simply know what they are taught, and aren’t interested in inquiring more about it. Honestly, if I weren’t a woman, I wouldn’t either. It simply is not something that I would feel comfortable asking.
I don’t think my opinion has changed after listening to Sam’s menstruation lecture the past two weeks. I’ll probably stay the exact same way and carry myself the same way as I did before the class. Like I said before, I think that some things are meant to be personal and I don’t think everything in the world needs to know everything about what goes on in someone’s bathroom. I think we should keep these matters to ourselves and share it with who we feel comfortable. Sam can teach us how to be tolerant to other races, but he can’t teach us how and when to feel comfortable with something as personal as one’s period.
I know Sam’s point is trying to make it fair for women to talk about their periods in a more free manner, but I don’t feel as if it is necessary and I don’t agree with him in this case. I also want to know why this is relevant to what we are going over in class. It is somewhat understandable when he is relating it to other things, but when he randomly brings it up, I feel as though he forgets that he is teaching a race relations class, not a women’s studies class. I guess I just missed the point, big time, or maybe it really doesn’t have much of a place in our class. One class was enough. Two classes seems to be pushing it. I really hope that next week we can return to our discussions about race. I think many people in our class, considering the things they’ve said on the live poll, have much more to learn in the last 6 weeks of class about acceptance and tolerance.
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Ok Sam, we all get that the subject of a womans period should be talked about and discussed, and that men should be more educated and less grossed out by it. I get that, we get that, and I see the point you are trying to make. However, the way in which you went about it in class, and the way Laurie is presenting it here in her story, are two completely different ways to go about it. In class Sam, you were a bit graphic and frankly, not all of us need to know that your wife bleeds heavily every month, or the sick pleasure you get out of look at the art in the toilet. It's not that we don't want to hear about a woman's menstration and the suffering she goes through for one week out of every month. We just don't want to talk about it in the way that you were in Tuesday's class.
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On the other hand, the way Laurie went about talking about bleeding was much better. She put it in a story we can all relate to and comprehend without being fed too much personal information about her or the pleasure you get out of looking at a toilet full of bloody water. Trust me, i'm a girl and speaking on behalf of most girls, we all know how grossed out some people, mainly guys, get as soon as you say the word "period". I personally don't mind talking about it, because Sam is right, it is a very natural thing and without menstration, people wouldnt be able to be born on this planet. In fact, when i'm with my girlfriends or family memebers, I have no problem talking about it. Even when I am with my boyfriend I don't mind telling him about it because he's not easily grossed out. However, I don't feel the need to go into graphic detail.
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So this is what we were trying to tell you in class. That we don't mind hearing about bleeding or talking about it, but we don't have to get so graphic about it. Not every girl needs to tell the class how heavy or light her flow is. What it looks like after she's gone to the bathroom or nasty stuff like that. People have imaginations and thing like that can be left to the imagination.
Laurie speaks a heavy truth in her reading, that women do go through a lot once a month, but in order for us to be treated equal sometimes, we have to forget we're women, which isn't fair. Because frankly, without us men would never have been born nor would they be able to survive. So I think we should be demanding more respect from men, because DAMN IT! WE'RE THE ONE'S "BLEEDING" HERE!
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I found this video to very true and inspiring. I never understood why something so natural has so many people cringing to the thought of it. A period is natural for all women and we were the chosen sex to have such a thing maybe because we are more understanding and worthy of such a great gift. I could understand if a period was there for no reason at all, but all females have a period in order to be able to get pregnant and support a life inside of us. I find it to be a beautiful thing and maybe one day when some of us actually have children including men, will we be thankful for a period? Is it the maturity level that keeps people like the ones in high school, middle school and even college "ignoring" that a period exists or thinking anyone who is bleeding is disgusting? It's a natural as peeing, shitting, burping, and vomiting yet no one seems to find those as disgusting as a period. Sam made a really good point in class when he said would it be weird or gross and would people talk about it if he had said he watched his wife bleed from her finger? If our "periods" came out of our nose instead of our vagina would people be talking about it all the time? I would never choose to have a period as a women but if it gives me the beautiful opportunity to say that I carried life inside of me then I will gladly take having a period over not having one. I must admit to hear Sam say something like he likes to look at his wifes period or blood in the toilet is a little disturbing, there are people in this world who like things FAR worse then something like that even though Sam was only saying that to make a point. One thing I absolutely cannot stand is when guys say that girls are being bitches or a moody because we are PMSing. That's such bullshit!! If were being a bitch to you, it's probably because you did something worth me being a bitch and I would be a bitch regardless if I were PMSing or not. What about when guys are dicks or are moody? Is it ok for us to say you guys are PMSing? Yes there are symptoms that come along with being a women and have a menstrual cycle but honestly not everyone suffers from them. There are a lot of different pills and methods of birth control or hormones that keep women from having such severe symptoms. The main point to this whole lecture and arguement is that it is a part of life, it happens to all women (mostly all) and it will never go away. Grow up, get over it and realize there are a lot of other disgusting things in the world that are openly talked about each and every day.
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As a woman, I agree completely with the fact that what we have to go through every month should be better understood, especially by males, but I don’t necessarily know if I agree with the idea that we need to go around parading that we have our periods when we do and expect people to do nice things for us more so than they would normally do. I think that unfortunately it is the was society is programmed and I think that it would be really nice if we got extra sick days when we couldn’t go to work for really bad cramps and all of that stuff. If this were to happen, men would probably want extra days off to watch March Madness or something similar. We want a world where women and men are treated equal so I don’t think that is going to happen because it is in favor of women. Now don’t think that I am not all for better and more respectful treatment of women but I am just being realistic because we live in a male dominated society and although it is starting to improve in the littlest bit, I personally wouldn’t even be comfortable if our world was as open as Sam was making it seem like in class. That may have been to simply grab our attention and make us realize that it is a subject that is basically ignored, but I just don’t know if I agree with the statements like people talk about growing their hair or clipping their toenails so why can’t we be really open about periods? I personally don’t even talk about when I clip my toenails or the fact that my hair is growing with people, and I talk about periods when the conversation topic arises (which it rarely does) but I think I am going to have to chalk this up with the topic of pooping. There are just certain things that we do every day that are things you may want to keep private. It makes people more mysterious. I don’t think I would like to know every single time my boyfriend goes to the bathroom and what goes on in there. Maybe it is simply another instance where we have been programmed by society to react and not talk about this in such a way. We don’t go around announcing that in civilized company so I don’t think it is my boss’s business to know when I have my period.
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Sam isn't always a crowd pleaser that's for sure. I'm starting to realize his method for teaching though. As one of his students, I call bullshit every time he says the next words out of his mouth are gonna be the most shocking of the semester. Often his topics are very interesting, but he uses the perk-up-your-ears method to exhaust. Anyway, the topic of gender issues and bleeding have gotten a rise out of most of the class. Sometimes even moreso than race. Maybe because that is something we all have issues on because instead of an infinite amount of races or ethnicities or cultures…there are only two sexes. And you would think that would make things simpler to understand if there are only two ideas to grasp, yet sometimes figuring out the differences between men and women are even more perplexing than black and white. I definitely don't know all there is to know about women, and even men for that matter! But I don't want anyone to confuse that just because I don't go out of my way to understand everything about the opposite sex doesn't mean I am disgusted or revolted by the idea of gaining that knowledge. I guess for the most part I've just always felt that what goes on in a person's body, whether regular or irregular regards a certain level of modesty and outer respect from others. If a close friend of mine who was a girl felt it was necessary for her to tell me she was having problems due to her period I would try and be as sensitive as possible to her needs. I don't really need to know about the bleeding part because really what good would it do? I mean people don't really enjoy talking about bleeding in general just because it can make some people squeamish or ill. I work a lot with the Red Cross blood drives here on campus and I see blood all the time and it doesn't really bother me that much. But I still see people come in to donate or support their friends and have to look away from the needle stick or the blood bag. It can be an uncomfortable thing for some. I can't say that I would really be equipped to understand something that doesn't happen directly to me. I think that with 3+ billion other women on the planet there is a pretty good support system already. But I would never want to make a friend of mine or girlfriend feel like I didn't care that she was in pain on a regular basis. I have the utmost admiration because their sex is the one that conceives and bares children. I wish I could understand better but really if it is something that is not directly in my face every day it's hard for me to focus and connect to.
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Being a human being is never easy. We constantly wonder what people think of us. How they view us. What they feel about us and why they even these feelings about us at. With all these thoughts and ideals, a person could go absolutely crazy. However, for a woman, these thoughts consume our minds every second, every minute, and every hour of everyday. We never get a break from the criticisms of people. We never get take a break away from ourselves.
Women, in my opinion go through the most terrifying, most outrageous, most beautiful, and most heartfelt experiences. We learn more in a month then what most men learn in a lifetime. However, the most controversial topic among men and women today, is the menstruation of a woman.
So every 28 days most women should expect of visit from her Aunt Flow, the red demon, the big red, or any of the other cute little pet names we have for the period. During this time a woman sheds the lining of the uterus and drops one microscopic. She is beginning a cleansing period which provides her with a fresh new lining in the uterus. With this fresh lining within the uterus, the woman will now be able to hold and produce properly for the eggs she with then reproduce the next month. Sorry, I did not mean to lecture, but for most people, I think the explanation was truly necessary. Now if I wanted to play the captain obvious game, I could have just simply said that, every month, most women bleed constantly for five to seven days. However, there was no need to explain that because that seems to be the only things that people already know.
But what most people do not know is that the period is a part of a woman stepping into her place in the circle of womanhood. They do not know the pain that a woman experiences mentally, physically, or emotionally. Then again, how could we all know this information about periods when most of us including women, spend so much time avoiding it. I do not just blame men for making a mockery of this nor do I blame them for not understanding the period. Now I do blame men for not trying to take the time to understand the period and who want to stay in the dark about all of what they do not know, but still claim they know everything there is to know about women. However, I blame women that constantly let these men keep them down about the period. I blame the women who pretend that this does not happen to them every month. I blame women who just completely ashamed of this precious voice they have fuming inside of them.
A period is a gift, not a burden. It is the gift the helps women to bear the future men and women that will go on to do great things. It is our stepping stone into womanhood. It is our pass into a whole new way our seeing things in the world. IT IS OUR VOICE!
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A lot of people questioned what Sam’s wife thought about him talking about this in class and I believe him when he said that she knows and doesn’t mind. This video all but proves that. As it was said in another response the discussion in class was a little more in-depth than I or a lot of the class expected and more in depth than I feel was entirely necessary. But on the same side maybe it was necessary to fully express what Sam wanted us to think about and realize. And that’s all I have to say about that.
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After reading a few of these posts, I really started to understand what Sam was saying in class when he was trying to explain that menstruating is no more of a natural-occurring, bodily function than hunger or sweating. It is apparent that the majority of men and women feel a certain way about this subject, and as we saw in class many people (men and women) became uncomfortable with where Sam’s conversation headed…ultimately the toilet. It seems to me that the uneasiness comes from a combination of the man’s sexual view of the vagina, and a woman’s embarrassment of bleeding. A few men have posted entries expressing how they have this image how a vagina is supposed to look, and how a bleeding vagina taints that image. As a representative of the male community, I have to agree with some of these other posts, when they say that a bleeding vagina isn’t exactly the most arousing image. With that being said, some women may say that men are being pretty shallow and selfish individuals, so I just want to say that most of the men that I know sympathize with the pain and struggles that women go through during their menstrual cycle. Personally speaking, I know my girlfriend struggles with heavy bleeding and cramps during her time of the month, so I just want all the ladies to know that I am sorry that you must deal with this damnation that is the menstrual cycle. However, I want to thank you as well, cause without you none of us would be here, and sex really wouldn’t be as satisfying without the vagina!
So, I guess what I want to know from all this is how we can get to a point where this subject is no longer such a controversy? I laughed as many of you did when Sam said that if men were to menstruate, we would all be celebrating it. As jovial as that was, I think there is a lot of truth to this statement, as well as, his argument that today’s “diverse society” is still very much a white, male dominated world. It appears that this is the reason for much of the discrimination we have discussed in many of the subjects we learn about in class. I don’t know about everyone else, but this continues to piss me off. America proudly flaunts its promises of “equal opportunity, freedom, and rights for ALL people,” while we continue to discriminate not only by race, but also by gender as well. The sad truth is that if men were the one’s to menstruate, people would have no issue talking about bleeding. Whether this holds any truth or not, I strongly believe that Sam is on to something here. After all, he has seen God.
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I can understand why Sam brought up this issue in class. I was pretty taken aback with his word choice, but then I realized that he was only reacting that way because of the reaction he got out of the class. It is pretty crazy that people reacted sooo strongly. I will admit that I was a little uncomfortable, but some people were freaking out and leaving the room. Yeah, it is a topic that isn't often discussed, but it is also a part of life that 50% of the population is quite familiar with. The main issue that I had with Sam going into detail about his wife "bleeding," was first off, partly due to his word choice. "Bleeding," for me, has somewhat of a negative connotation and if we want to get technical here, it isn't just blood that comes out when you're menstruating. I think that it is okay if his wife wants to use that terminology, but I just feel less comfortable with Sam saying it. That brings me to my secondly, which is my second issue with Sam's disclosure of his wife's periods… I just don't see it as his place to talk about.. even if he does have "permission" from her. If she wants to share her womanly experiences with us, more power to her and I welcome it with open arms. And if Sam wants to talk about it in a general sense, as in "most women" or "I have heard of women that..", etc.. then I would be more okay with it. I just don't think it is any mans place to share any woman's struggle with a cycle that they will not fully understand. And I guess this is a good transition into how this issue may pertain to race issues. It wouldn't be fair of a white person to share the struggles of a black friend in a way that they were implying that they knew what it felt like or could even grasp their struggle. I believe you can be the most enlightened and open individual and share experiences with people of different races, but as the saying goes, "until you walk a mile in their shoes.." there is just no way that you can really know. It would be nice for people to make a greater effort to try to understand, or at least acknowledge that many people deal with racial struggles on a daily basis, and many people struggle with a woman's cycle on a monthly basis. I guess a step towards understanding is the beginnings of talking about it. Enter the subject of menstruation like you would enter a conversation about race, willing to listen and learn and acknowledging that it is something that you do not deal with or can ever fully understand.
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That day Sam mentioned his wife’s 28 day cycle of heavy bleeding I became extremely offended, surprised, and more curious than angry. But it wasn’t at what he said, rather it was at the reactions of a good majority of the class. The uproar was enough of a reaction that I felt it would soon calm down after people got over the shock factor. But as I turned around and saw students up and leave the classroom in shear horror and disgust I became distraught at the stigmas society holds against such a natural thing. I don’t think we can hide behind innocence, the same type that we had in 6th grade health class where the word “Vagina” or “penis” turned us red and giggly. This reaction from the disgusted students in the class seemed to be more of anger and disgust at Sam’s comment and for the life of me I still can’t understand why. I mean are we still at this phase in our lives where girls don’t poop or pee? Did we not read the book “Everybody poops?” I agree with Sam that we need to be more open to accepting these things. And no it shouldn’t automatically be a private thing where the monthly PMS is limited to the bathroom. And what surprised me even more was the embarrassment from the girls in the class at not admitting their period. To have guys disgusted is one thing but to have girls embarrassed about a function they’ve had for quite some time now is confusing. And maybe it is not their faults (the girls that is). Maybe its the majority of the guys that got up and walked out that makes girls afraid to be open about it. I mean I can see not wanting to go around screaming about your period or brag about a huge crap you just took but for goodness sakes people…it happens get over it. I just didn’t see the big deal. Now Sam’s shock factor even got me a bit but I think that was his point. I feel like he was basically saying “you think talking about simple bleeding is bad? Let me show you how gross it can get.” And I completely agree with him. Most of us are not used to being exposed to this kind of stuff and in my defense and in the defense of others, maybe its my premedical background that leaves me un-phased to such topics. I’m not sure but I do know this. One day a girl in your life is going to need support for the changes going on in her body be it from PMS or menopause. I just hope that by then we can get over this and be open to discussing it.
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Why is this even a topic of conversation in this class? The class is race and ethnicity, not women’s studies. If people feel like discussing their periods that is their choice but I do not think it is necessary in this class. Most people if not everybody knows what a menstrual period is and talking about it just makes people uncomfortable and unhappy. I also think that being a male professor, you have even less understanding of what women go through solely on the fact that you are not a woman. Why do you think you know so much about everything? At this topic you can not be better than women.
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rms5294 Reply:
March 26th, 2010 at 11:20 pm
Yes, the class is a race relations class, but it's also a sociology class. Maybe it made you uncomfortable and unhappy, but that doesn't mean it made everyone unhappy. And yeah, Sam is a male, but what does his being a professor have to do with it…? And he's been married to a woman for years, who obviously shares everything about herself with him, he knows better than most men. He wasn't trying to solely talk about periods and woman. He was making a point about natural things in general, which is a topic in our class. Why should people be embarrassed to be who they are? And woman have menstrual cycles. We are different from one another, men and woman; just like white people are different from black people. Yet, we really all aren't much different at all. And that is the point. Next time maybe you should look outside of the box. Its about prejudice in general.
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So, I thought Sam was right on about everything with his whole “bleeding” digression. But I’ve also enjoyed reading some of these responses. I like the guy who referred to the vagina as a holy place.
The truth is, we probably don’t talk about all “natural bodily functions” equally. Sam’s example of hair growing doesn’t exactly equate to the privy bathroom talk that many people refrain from. I do agree though, one hundred percent, that women are silenced a bit more. It goes along with the entire culture we live in. We hear about it all the time: how our media influences women to appear and act. We are socialized to be thin, beautiful, etc. That’s nothing new. So, to talk about our “bleeding” makes us seem less attractive, gross. Sorry to take it here, but I know so many guys that say “girls don’t poop.” I think it’s the same thing: for guys to think about those things it taints our image of beauty. And so, in fear of not appearing attractive, us girls don’t talk about it.
There are girls and guys out there that don’t think this a taboo topic. Different strikes for different tykes I guess. There are a lot of us in that classroom, and Sam is bound to piss some people off at all times. We need to look at the larger issues at hand, rather than focusing on something as little as blood. Sam made some good points about the larger impacts of living in a man’s world, touching on some women’s rights issues.
Perhaps we should just all keep open minds. I personally don’t think we need to sky write “bleeding” all of the time, but I do think it should be a more open topic and women should be able to be honest about these taboo topics. And I think a lot of people in the room overreacted and were outwardly disgusted. And I don’t think any girls should be ashamed and I think any guys that were disgusted are either immature and/or they have not been in a serious relationship.
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spf5027 Reply:
March 26th, 2010 at 11:51 pm
What does sociology have to do with bleeding? Your insane and your logic makes no since at all. Last time I checked sociology was not biology. Were paying tuition for a race relation class, not some random ass stories that are being thrown out there. I could see if there was a relation to the class, than this would be applicable. This is not the case at all, and wasting our time with BS is not what were paying for. The relation to cutting toe nails is completely off. This is just as bad as Sam saying how much he jacks off.
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That day Sam mentioned his wife’s 28 day cycle of heavy bleeding I became extremely offended, surprised, and more curious than angry. But it wasn’t at what he said, rather it was at the reactions of a good majority of the class. The uproar was enough of a reaction that I felt it would soon calm down after people got over the shock factor. But as I turned around and saw students up and leave the classroom in shear horror and disgust I became distraught at the stigmas society holds against such a natural thing. I don’t think we can hide behind innocence, the same type that we had in 6th grade health class where the word “Vagina” or “penis” turned us red and giggly. This reaction from the disgusted students in the class seemed to be more of anger and disgust at Sam’s comment and for the life of me I still can’t understand why. I mean are we still at this phase in our lives where girls don’t poop or pee? Did we not read the book “Everybody poops?” I agree with Sam that we need to be more open to accepting these things. And no it shouldn’t automatically be a private thing where the monthly PMS is limited to the bathroom. And what surprised me even more was the embarrassment from the girls in the class at not admitting their period. To have guys disgusted is one thing but to have girls embarrassed about a function they’ve had for quite some time now is confusing. And maybe it is not their faults (the girls that is). Maybe its the majority of the guys that got up and walked out that makes girls afraid to be open about it. I mean I can see not wanting to go around screaming about your period or brag about a huge crap you just took but for goodness sakes people…it happens get over it. I just didn’t see the big deal. Now Sam’s shock factor even got me a bit but I think that was his point. I feel like he was basically saying “you think talking about simple bleeding is bad? Let me show you how gross it can get.” And I completely agree with him. Most of us are not used to being exposed to this kind of stuff and in my defense and in the defense of others, maybe its my premedical background that leaves me un-phased to such topics. I’m not sure but I do know this. One day a girl in your life is going to need support for the changes going on in her body be it from PMS or menopause. I just hope that by then we can get over this and be open to discussing it.
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I think that Laurie makes really good points in this video. The one thing that stuck out to me the most is how she implies that women almost try to hide the fact that we are women. The menstrual cycle is the most obvious detail that separates women from men, so why are women so afraid to talk about this?? Especially because a lot of women will go all out trying to find pretty dresses, nice shoes, the best make-up etc to show the feminine side of herself, but when it comes to her period that has "WOMAN" written all over it they do not show it!
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I grew up in a house with two sisters and a mom I was use to periods being talked about whenever. If a girl wanted to talk to me about that topic I would let her it wouldn’t bother me because its natural. Sam went to far with it though. Saying he wanted to see it calling it beautiful and calling it bleeding was to much for the majority of people in class. It didn’t gross me out but I don’t think that’s something you should talk about with people you’re comfortable with. But I still thought the whole thing was funny.
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I think this discussion that has been going on about bleeding has been right on (by Sam) and that people in the class are overreacting. Menstruation is NATURAL. I don’t understand why it’s disgusting. I don’t understand why it’s pushed under the rug and we’re not encouraged to talk about it. I’m not saying that I desire to talk about my period 24-7 but the freedom to talk about it in public would be ideal. The freedom to say what I want about it and not feel uncomfortable or that I was crossing lines would be optimal. However, I think our society is one that is closed and not open to discussion of private issues and periods is an issue that happens to have that label.
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That day Sam mentioned his wife’s 28 day cycle of heavy bleeding I became extremely offended, surprised, and more curious than angry. But it wasn’t at what he said, rather it was at the reactions of a good majority of the class. The uproar was enough of a reaction that I felt it would soon calm down after people got over the shock factor. But as I turned around and saw students up and leave the classroom in shear horror and disgust I became distraught at the stigmas society holds against such a natural thing.
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The end of Sam’s lecture on Tuesday was simply disturbing. I don’t know anyone that would go in detail about a bodily function like that at all. I thought that was simply disturbing. If another professor such as a English professor says the same thing in a lecture, I think that people would complain to the dean about that. You should not bring your family’s personal issues or bodily functions into a race relation class. I could see where this would have a possible point, in a physiology class, but race relations has nothing to do with bodily functions at all.
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Maybe “bleeding” was not the politically correct term for a women’s menstrual cycle but I believe that Sam was right on with everything he said about women and how a women’s period really is a gift because it makes her fertile and therefore allows her to give birth. I honestly wish more men had the same view as Sam on periods. I know many women throughout their life have heard, “Ew, that’s gross. Don’t talk to me about your period,” from a man before. Yes, I agree that periods are not the most pleasant time for women but it is not like we enjoy them any more than you do. Men act like they are so bothered by the fact that a women is on her period for many reasons that range from they can’t get any, to not wanting to hear about bleeding and even to “having to deal with women when they’re PMSing.” Do you think we would choose to have our periods if there was an alternative way to ovulate and bear a child? Hell no! And men act like they are the victims when women are on their period. How do you think we feel? Do we just love the cramps that come along with a period? Do we just love that as Sam says, we have to plan out things to make sure that we’ll be able to use the bathroom and our period will not interfere with anything? Do we love how our emotions go from one end of the spectrum to the complete opposite end? I’m pretty sure no woman wants any of these things but it’s what we have to go through in order to bear children and keep the human population going. And we should be ashamed of having our periods even though it enables us to participate in the greatest thing on this earth? We should all be proud of having our periods! As Laurie said in her play, “My period comes likes the tide,” and it is what it is. Another great point that Sam brought up is how if men had their periods, there would be vast accommodations and men could be able to flip out and the reasoning behind it would be that they’re on their period. First of all, a man could never last through the pains and miserable times of a period, much less childbirth. Also, when women are crabby and unpleasant, men get pissed and do not accept the excuse of, “I have my period.” This is such a big problem that women don’t feel comfortable talking about their periods and even feel ashamed of their period. Men, if it weren’t for women and their periods, you wouldn’t be on this earth so let us talk about it as freely as we want.
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All right, I feel incredibly awkward talking about this, but I don’t think I should so I’m going to fight through it and hopefully learn to feel a little more comfortable with the subject. My period is something that I hide from every male figure in my life. I am embarrassed by it and terrified of an unexpected visit or whatever you’d like to call it. My cycle is very sporadic so I never know when it will begin or when it will end and that sucks. The doctors do not know what implications this will have just yet, but it terrifies me because I may not be able to get pregnant. My mother knows this and my girl friends know this, but not one male figure in my life is aware of it. My father, my boyfriend, my guy friends are all blissfully ignorant because I would never consider talking to them about it. The more I think about it, the more I realize that it is wrong for women to feel so ashamed to talk about something so natural. I don’t want to feel awkward about it, but I do. Is this really a result of living in a man’s world? I guess it must be. I think about being a woman every day. Like Laurie, I do not think myself unable to compete with men on any level, but if I’m walking down the street alone at night, I think about being a woman. If I see someone giving me a look that makes me feel uncomfortable, I think about being a woman and if I start bleeding and begin that really painful week of my period, I think about being a woman. On a side note, my female roommate just asked me what I was writing about and when I told her I was blogging about my period, she laughed. She said, “You’re joking right?!”. When I told her that I wasn’t, she told me I was gross. I feel gross talking about it. It’s like writing about shaving my legs or something, except worse and way more personal. So how do we change this? How do we convince both men and women that it is okay to talk about menstruation? Maybe, we should teach children from a young age that it is perfectly normal and that it is something that every woman goes through. Maybe, we should encourage woman to be open about their bodies the way that men are so that they feel less awkward about their cycles. In any case, this is something that needs to change in order to better our society. I’m tired of the secret women’s club where we share secrets about our cycles in private. I’d like to be able to share how I’m feeling with men too. I think I deserve it.
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I like that Sam came out and bluntly talked about periods. Like he said, its totally natural. There is nothing we can do about it but accept the fact that sometimes it totally sucks and we wanna punch everyone that makes a note of the fact that we are moody. Get over it, its hormones. Its really annoying how some males undermine how painful it can actually be. Sometimes its so totally debilitating its impossible to leave the bed. Thanks Sam for talking about it and understanding women. More guys should understand it, especially considering its necessary for us to have if we ever want to have a baby.
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At first I thought it was weird that Sam brought this up in class, but with Thursday’s class it made much more sense to me. It is really funny how since it’s a women thing, its something to keep quiet about or not bring up, but everyone knows that if it were men that had periods, it would be a completely different thing. Instead, women go through it, rarely discuss it with anyone male because usually their response is to be disgusted. I read a comment somewhere that said someone felt bad for their girlfriend that she had to go with some of the pain that periods bring monthly, and I definelty appreciated that. Whenever I make a comment about cramps or anything my boyfriend gets really grossed out and immedietly changes the subject.
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I cannot believe how ashamed and uncomfortable girls are to talk about their periods. I mean, it’s a natural bodily function, and we all go through it. I cannot believe how some of the girls reacted in class to Sam’s discussion on menstruation. I was actually expecting every girl to appreciate what he was saying. Instead, some girls were getting offended and becoming defensive for no reason. It is not like he was insulting anybody or saying anything bad about menstruation. In fact, he made many girls feel better about it and made the ignorant guys in class see that it is a completely natural and acceptable part of life. Also, it was not even the girls talking about their periods in particular or Sam pointing out girls and talking to them about it. Rather, the man was talking about menstruation in general. So, why the hell should any girl be so offended in the class? Why must we be so ashamed to be comfortable in our skin, especially with things that we have absolutely no control over (well except for birth control pills)? Although, I cannot completely blame the girls for being ignorant. The guys in class were gagging and making negative comments all over the classroom and even walking out. Guys also play a role in women’s discomfort in this matter because they make us think it is so horrible and disgusting to talk about.
I also really liked what Sam said about what his wife goes through every 28 days, and how wrong it is for her to have to hide it or make excuses for it. She emphasizes this in her act on the blog, too. Why should she, or any female, carry this burden of having a monthly period and feeling so awful physically and mentally without being able to talk about it or express it in any way. It sounds like Sam’s wife has it really bad, too. Some of us do not get cramps or get so much pain that we cannot get out of bed. We are the lucky ones. Those females like Sam’s wife are not so lucky. If only men could feel how women feel during their periods the world would be a different place. I really have an appreciation with Sam’s wife for being able to talk so openly about this. I even have an appreciation with Sam for being so comfortable about talking about this matter in class and trying to make the girls feel more comfortable in their own skin. I really liked Laurie’s performance, and I think women should be more like her in expressing their feelings. Maybe men’s views would be altered if that happened.
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s was definitely the most controversial topic brought up by Sam so far, well, at least the topic that stirred the most discussion and had the class most visibly upset. I think it is very clear why he brought up the topic of menstruating the way he did; he wanted to pull these emotions out of us, he wanted us to get into deeper discussion about the social implications around menstruating than we normally delve into. Mission accomplished, Sam.
I can't say that I agree with the casualness in which he disclosed his wife's cycle and her tribulations associated with it, but that's not my argument to pick. If she's cool with that, then fine. I certainly would NOT be. Now, that isn't because I'm uncomfortable talking about my period or embarrassed of it by any means; it's a fact of life, something that has to happen and is a great thing as it allows us to one day start our own families. Rather, I guess I am one of the people who have learned to hide all of the frustrations, emotions, and pain that go along with the 28 day cycle I and every other woman on this planet experience.
When girls first get their periods, they are typically in middle school. I remember that part of my life as plain confusing. You are trying to fit in, trying to make friends, figuring out your own self. Then you get your period, and the last thing your going to do is share that fact with the new guy friends you've made; they're so immature they still laugh when someone makes a farting sound. Welcome to middle school; welcome to guys in general, I guess. It may be a male-dominated world, I completely agree that it is. And yes, I am 'that girl' who wants my husband to be smarter than I am and earn a higher salary than I do. It's just how I see the world. But, I also have always felt that guys, no matter what age, are less mature than their female counterparts. We women may not take the upper hand in society, but we are always more mature, and I think that dealing with something like our periods helps to make us this way.
We have to give ourselves to the mercy of 'Aunt Flo' once a month, unless you lucked out and got prescribed the birth control that keeps your period down to a maximum of 3 cycles per year. I'm jealous! But we give our emotions away the second we realize our tears are flowing over some stupid incident because, hello, PMS has arrived. Then we give our bodies away for a week to the pains that feel like someone kicking you in the lower back. We give up our own schedules to fit in frequent bathroom trips. We give up time getting ready to make sure our purses are stocked with tampons. And all of these things, all of these super annoying, trying things, are not experienced by men. Ever. In any way, shape, or form.
That is the exact reason why I am not as open about 'bleeding' as Sam suggests we all should be. Men don't experience it, so it makes it hard to throw out there like complaining about a hangnail or a bruise on your leg. Men are immature because they don't give themselves to menstruation once a month. Men should respect us for what we go through, and be considerate of our periods, not grossed out by them. But we shouldn't be expected to carelessly discuss menstruation; it's a private struggle that is almost always better dealt with when kept between us girls.
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Asa women I am not big on the feminist movement, and by this I mean I do not complain. I do voice my thoughts about pains, turmoils, and inequalities. Where I grew up I had my mother and my father. My mother worked 8 sometimes 9 hours a day, she also found time to clean, do laundry, cook, help me and my brother with homework play/ attend sports games for herself and her two children. She did everything and because I grew u thinking that women were supposed to be the stronger of the two in the relationship that complaining was not an option because the strong do not complain, they just press on through whatever is thrown at them. As I have grown I realized though that yes, we are strong but why does no one else realize how strong we are.
We can fight for voting, for equal pay, for sports teams, and for respect, and maybe one day if we keep fighting, maybe well receive all those things. But their is one aspect in life that will never cease to be a one sided battle with the world against us. Sex. Every 28 days for atleast 30 years our bodies will add another stressor, another obstacle that proves women to be strong. Pains, fatigue, discomfort, bloating, moodiness, and the disgusting bodily functions that go along with it will happen. There is no getting around it, unless, you’re pregnant. Ah pregnancy another fine aspect of being a women. For nine months you will vomit in the mornings, you will get fat, your skin witll stretch and scar, you then will undergo the pain of childbirth. But you’re a trooper, a champ, because you have to be there is no way of getting around it.
Now just sex, is all the about the man. Face it ladies sex only happens when he wants it and when he’s done, well so are you, even if you’re not…know what I mean. Free condoms. Tons of places throw out free condoms, yes the contraceptive the man is responsible for. You dont see anyone throwing out free diaphragms, or free birth control. In face did you know that Viagra is covered by most insurances and birth control pills are covered by none. Fun fact of the day.
Look guys we bleed because we have to, its the way we are. Sure mood swings occur so could you please be a little more understanding. But ladies this is to you, since the dawn of time, creation, evolution, whatever you believe but since then we have gotten the short end of the stick, so continue to be strong because menstruating is the one thing we cant fight, we need to just accept it. But also except that because of this you are strong and that you appreciated by other women who understand that this is life and we must live it.
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I have female friends who will straight out just begin to talk about their periods, tampons, or things of that nature and time and time again I say “way too much information.” I do respect and sympathize with women having to endure these monthly battles but just as I would not want to hear about some one moving their bowels in the bathroom, I do not think its important to discuss one’s bleeding in the bathroom. However, if it is that important to woman then I will be open to the conversation. Sam did open my mind to that up however he was a bit graphic.
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If there is one thing that women despise, is when a man says, “it must be that time of the month” From the point of view of men, during “that time” women are extremely moody, and testy. But what they don’t realize is that women are always going to have mood swings and crazy outbursts, it is just accentuated during our periods because of the even crazier hormones during that time. So why is it that men feel compelled to see something so natural, so negatively?
In a woman’s world a period is not the most pleasant experience. It causes many obstacles and hassles. Some women have terrible pain, others a lot of irregularity. But in a way, there is a positive side to having a period, we wouldn’t be here if we didn’t have one. And that’s not something we like to think about. We would rather focus on all of the uncomfortable things associated with it.
So, I know perfectly well why women may feel uncomfortable with their periods, because it is something we have to endure and can most of the time ruin a perfectly good few days. But men, have nothing but to be thankful that we have periods. Yes, you have to put up with a little more mood swings, or a bit more yelling, but isn’t that worth knowing that your child could come from this miracle that we are experiencing?
The question of living in a man’s world really does seem to point to why periods, bleeding, or menstruation are so hard to talk about. Women share funny stories, or harsh stories dealing with our “aunt flow” because we can all relate to each other, we know what we’re going through. With men, it feels as though they could never understand, because they do not have to go through it.
I have found myself every now and then wishing that men had periods and that they could undergo childbirth and see what we really must go through. But I know that we were built the way we were for a reason, and we can’t really do much to change that. I have a feeling that if men were the ones going through all of this, women would be there every step of the way getting tampons, pads, etc, and making the male comfortable. But of course, I can’t be sure of that, and I have a pretty biased opinion.
Talking about periods, or bleeding may not be the easiest thing, but to be open to the fact that it happens to every woman, and attempting to understand is a hundred times better than blaming a silly fight on raging hormones. And we somehow have to get over the feeling that it is gross, because it’s something that happens and will continue to happen, so why should we live ashamed of what nature has given us?
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I think this issue would have been addressed differently had Laurie been the one to bring it up. I'm not sure that in class it's so much that women have an issue talking about it, but the fact that Sam was talking about something that wasn't his to share. I guess it ties in with a white man telling a black woman that he knows what she's going through because he's heard about it, and he sympathizes.
One of my favorite books when I was growing up was called the Red Tent. It tells the story of a woman, in a biblical time period, and how starting your bleeding, and continuing to bleed, was revered among women in tribes. Women, when they were bleeding, were sent into the Red Tent. In this place they didn't do work or worry about anything. They were taken care of and allowed to relax while their bodies did they women's bodies are naturally supposed to do. Can you women imagine living in a world like this? "No, of course you don't have to work today. Actually take the next 3-5 days off til you 'feel better.'" Yeah, not happening.
I'm not afraid to talk about my period. But then again, I haven't had one in 4 years. If we're really getting into women and their "bleeding" this is what we have come to. It has become such a burden that we have pills to completely take it away. I'm all for the pill (remember that woman shown in class who came from a family of 22 kids? Example A where BC should definitely have been used). But my gyno says that periods at that point are just for piece of mind because they make women feel right with their bodies. But if I don't want that part of being a woman, I don't have to have it.
Now, though I am in no way, shape, or form complaining that I don't "bleed" anymore, I'm not on the pill that I'm on just for this reason. I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and this pill keeps my cysts away; that and my "bleeding" was every 14 days, the annoyance of which I cannot even begin to describe. But still, I'm happy that I don't have to worry about where I'll be or what I'll be feeling like because I'm burdened by this. I can be just like any man. I can go where I want, when I want. I can have sex when I want and not have to plan it around my cycle. I can swim in the ocean or hike a mountain. Go camping and not worry about bears (yes, that is something that you're warned about).
So like I said. As you can see from my post, I'm not afraid to talk about it, Sam. Hell, I'll talk to the whole damn class about it… if I feel that it's something that needs to be addressed.
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I still feel that the way this topic was discussed in class was too much information. I get that it shouldn’t really matter and it is just a bodily function, but in a way it kind of does. If I were to tell a girl about a story in which I cut myself, and all this blood came rushing out, they would most likely stop me from telling it past the words “ I cut myself.” I have tried to tell stories of the sort before and it all went the same way. With the same reaction we have if talking about a girls bodily process.
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I found this video of Laurie to be really interesting. As a female, I have never once debated why it is not ok in public to speak about things such as periods, or “bleeding”, it is something I just have not done. This was the first time I have ever really considered why it is that women are seen as inappropriate for being honest about their bodily functions. I can think of numerous occasions where I had my mom call me out of school stating that I was sick because I had cramps that were so awful that I couldn’t move. Throughout the years I played basketball, I can remember sitting curled up on the bench not able to play because I felt like my body was exploding, but when the coach came up and asked what was wrong, I simply said I didn’t feel well. I wonder now what would have happened if I had just simply stated, “It’s my time of the month and I feel like shit”. Would he have been repulsed? Would he have ignored me and just walked away, or would he have been understanding and asked if I needed anything?
It’s funny that the one topic of bodily functions that grosses most people out is also the most painful thing women experience on a monthly basis. Whether that be physically or emotionally, the “time of the month” as we call it, can be excruciating. I’ve often been in pain and wanted to actually speak up about it so that people understood why I was clenching my stomach, or why I was getting angry over nothing, or crying hysterically watching commercials, but people are just too weirded out by the conversation. Ever since Sam brought it up in class, I’ve wondered, why is this?
His explanations certainly make a lot of sense. This is in fact a man’s world, and I suppose there are certain things that men would rather not talk about. But even beyond that, it’s true that if it were more acceptable to talk about, then it would also be more acceptable for women to excuse themselves from activities, meetings, work, or classes. I understand how this can be seen as a problem considering that if every month hundreds upon thousands of women simply did not show up to things because of their cycle, but it still seems unfair to simply not recognize it as happening. It is something so clearly embedded into being a woman that it is somewhat baffling that people don’t talk about it more. Every month since I was 10 years old, I have spent one week in tremendous pain that only 800 mg of Advil and a heating pad can come close to solving, but even beyond that it always makes me an emotional wreck. For one week a month, or damn near a ¼ of my life, I’m in physical and emotional pain and I can’t even talk about it. I’ve never thought about it this way, but it’s slightly aggravating that I’m not supposed to talk about something that takes up that much time of my life.
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You know in a crazy way, all of this makes sense. And even though I didn’t think anything of it before, it kind of makes me angry now that we are not allowed to talk about it, that it is considered something you must keep hidden. People tell us all the time that we should be able to talk about our feelings and our struggles to someone because it is unhealthy to keep it all in and a little bit of venting or an outside perspective is a good thing. It can be good for the mind and the body. But we can’t talk about bleeding, yet it is something I struggle with every month whether I want to or not and it can be very nerve racking to get through. There are so many things to worry about and it effects my everyday life like men could not believe. If they think giving birth is the only hard thing we go through, they better think again. In my opinion, women are much stronger than men, when it comes to pain we can go through a lot more than they can ever dream of. Number one, we have to worry about the cramps. They can make the walk to class so long and hard that we have to plan to leave early to make it there on time, also they can effect whether I do to class or not. Sometimes they are so bad that even medicine won’t help and I stay in bed curled up in a ball until it goes away slightly to the point where I can at least stand up. Number two, we have to worry about whether we are leaking or not. We wear dark colored clothes so that if we do leak a little, no one will notice. But sometimes it comes early and we aren’t ready for it, we will be in class and go to the bathroom and realize that it started and it is all over those nice white washes blue jeans so it is very noticeable and you don’t have a tampon on you. You’re worried that everyone will see and laugh or think you are disgusting because you let it leak. This hurts a mentally in a big way. Number three, it messes with our eating habits. During my period I lose about 10 pounds. Ten pounds in a week is not very healthy. On top of me losing blood, which should only weigh maybe a pound, not even, I lose my appetite for the whole week. I will maybe eat one small meal a day, maybe, sometimes I don’t eat at all because the smell of food makes me want to throw up. I drink water and Gatorade, and sometimes if I’m lucky I can get soda down. Then the next week none of my clothes fit me because I lost so much weight so quickly and I try to eat more than normal for a week so that I can fit in my clothes. Some girls have it worse than me, I know my mom would miss an entire week of school every month because her period caused her to throw up for an entire week. Us girls have it hard, but we keep on going. When men get sick or get stomach cramps the whole world comes to an end and they are bed ridden until they feel 100% again. So why is it that we can’t talk about this? It feels so much better to get it out and know that someone understands what you are going through. They only answer I can come up with is that men made the rules and they feel like they are stronger than women and they suffer more because they do harder jobs, so they can express how their bodies are feeling, but women can’t because they don’t actually suffer like they do. Maybe things are changing now, but I believe that that is how this mentality cam about a long time ago and people are just not asking enough questions because they do not like change. They say well that’s just how things are so that’s the way they are going to be. I think it would do some good if women could talk about their bleeding, men would appreciate them more and women would feel a little bit less burdened. Some day in the future, maybe we will get the that, but it won’t be any time soon.
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Never have I considered the inequality women face just in people’s attitudes towards well, being a women. I’ve never thought about this, It’s not like race or typical gender issues that we almost always know about but typically don’t talk about or really recognize as a problem that plays some role in our lives. It’s so under the radar, something so intrinsic to our nature, that when it’s questioned it evokes so much questioning because well it isn’t typically questioned or thought about or considered and that really doesn’t make sense, especially when it is so damn integral to the way we as human beings function. It really bothers me that no girl has ever seen this issue, that we continue to be ashamed when we get our period, afraid that other people might find out, afraid that people will find us gross once a month for the rest of our lives, and afraid that people will make comments like “oh, she’s being terrible today, it must be pms.”
The thing that stuck out to me the most in the entire dialogue were the lines about the tide, the sunrise, and the seasons. The way she compared this “burden” we have to the different cyclical processes of nature makes me realize just how important this is, just how essential this really is. And the funny thing is when I heard Sam say that if men had periods they would celebrate them in a holiday, I thought that was really stupid. But looking back at it now, it’s funny how “bleeding” plays into gender and the dominance of males in all our societies. IF men had their periods, it would be celebrated, and looked at as something important, something necessary and the gift of life. But for women, a period is gross, something that should be kept hidden. Many religions and societies refuse to allow women into places of god, mosques, temples, churches, when they have their periods because they are considered unclean or dirty. It’s something to be ashamed of in our world and that is just so ridiculous. The world keeps spinning not caring that we have this burden come to us once a month, it doesn’t matter how much pain we’re in or how it affects our emotional state, we need to keep trucking along, because this is a men’s society, and I guess it just doesn’t matter that we’re bleeding from our crotches because men don’t deal with it, and it’s probably not that bad.
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I honestly don't see why the topic of a girls period was so disturbing to so many people. Sure it may have been sort of a random shock for so many people and it was quite a bit off topic. There is really nothing wrong with discussing it. Many of my female friends openly tell me that they're on their periods. While it is really something that i didn't need to know, it also is useful because I know that they're not feeling particularly well at the moment and pissing them off would more than likely lead to bad things. While I don't share the same enthusiasm about it as Sam, I don't see why people freaked out so badly about it.
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