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2110148 Responseshttp://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/what-about-the-men/What+about+the+men%3F2010-04-14+12%3A58%3A43Sam+Richards to What about the men?
I think this is an interesting question and a topic that does not really get much attention. A lot of focus is put on the need most women feel to conform to society’s demands, and rightfully so. There is no doubt in my mind that due to the influence of peer pressure, media attention, and societal demands that women are pressured to conform much more than men are. However, men also experience this phenomenon. Men have to deal with increasing pressures in regard to not only their appearance, but also their demeanor and what constitutes acceptable male behavior.
In terms of appearance, men are under more pressure than ever to sculpt their bodies into the mold that the media tells us is ideal. Being a man myself, and a skinny one at that, I find it frustrating that my body type is not what most would consider to be desirable. Although most people would consider me to be someone in relatively good shape, I usually hear from people that I’m “too skinny” and people seem to think that I’m probably weak. I find it frustrating that although I’m in shape, my body is still not good enough for most people. It seems that in order to be a “real man” according to today’s societal standards, you need to be muscular and strong. Some people think that anyone can achieve this by working out and eating healthy, but it’s not that easy for all of us. I’ve tried just about everything I could ever think of to try to gain weight, from weight training to binge eating, and pretty much nothing works. My metabolism simply will not allow me to gain weight from ingestion, and the amount of weight training I would have to do to add on pounds of muscle is ridiculous. Although I feel like I should be happy with my body build and have nothing to be ashamed of, other peoples’ expectations often leave me wishing that I was bigger and stronger.
Men also are expected to behave in ways that coincide with being masculine and strong. I am the type of guy who is sensitive and sometimes emotional. However, a lot of times I find myself bottling up my emotions and showing less compassion for people than I would like to simply because I worry that people will think of me as less of a man for it. Men in today’s world are expected to not wear their emotions on their sleeves and to be emotionally callous. It’s amazing how often it seems that girls end up not being attracted to me because I’m “too nice” or “too good of a friend” to them, and how often I see guys who treat girls like absolute garbage have the greatest success with women. It’s really messed up how both men and women are forced to conform just because of others’ expectations.
This was something I wondered about too while listening during lecture, and just have always wondered in general. Guys' social dynamics are so different than that of girls, so it's hard to really compare the two cultures. I think that women are so exposed and judged in the media, so that the idea of judging overflows into everyday social situations. We talked about this in my discussion group.. how women find it okay letting each other know when they look good or have a cute outfit, haircut, purse, whatever. As well as negatively judging other women (mostly likely not aloud). And we wondered about WHY we think that outfit is good-looking, because we secretly desire that for ourselves? Maybe. But then when it comes to men, you hardly hear men complimenting each other about their looks. However, if that was accepted in society, I'm sure we'd hear it a lot more. I just really wonder if, even though it's not vocalized all the time, men get envious of others' looks or look to them as "trendsetters" like women do. It's true that men do make fun of each other and comment on each other when it comes to bodies, like at the gym or the beach or something.. I've heard that. And that could go along the same lines as women who comment on each others' thinness or breast size. So I feel that men do have a lot of pressure to conform to what is socially acceptable image-wise, which does cause insecurity and envy of other men, but it is not recognized as much because the media doesn't expose men as much as women. I also feel that this socially acceptable image comes from both men and women, not distinctly from either party. The same for women- I feel that women dress to impress guys but also other women, showing that they are trying to be socially acceptable in the eyes of men and other women. It may sound weird to say that men dress to impress other men, but I think they do, just not in the same way as women.
Men do have to conform a lot to the world just like women do; it is just a different type of conformity. In order to fit in, men usually have to get involved with some sort of sport and follow other professional and collegiate sports so that they can contribute to the usual conversations that happen between men. They also have to learn to keep their emotions at a minimum when around other men, but if they are with women, they usually have to open up and try to be more emotional. There are different situations that men have to conform to and it is the same way for women.
In response to the comment of whether or not men feel the need to conform in society to the degree that woman do. I do believe that men feel the need to conform to society just like women. It may not be as noticeable, but men definitely feel the need to look good just like women do on a daily basis. Why is it not as noticed by people in society? Is it men who do not show their need to conform as much as women or is it societies fault? I am going to dive into these questions and offer my best opinion on this matter.
My main feeling for why it does not seem that men conform to society is because men do not judge or notice other men as much as women do on a regular basis. This is obvious by attending class and listening to the woman comment on who they get dressed up for when they go out at night. Many people said they dress up to impress other woman because they know that is who is looking at them when they go out. I agree with this statement because as a man most people just look at other women and notice if they are good looking at first glance. It is rare for a guy to say something to a girl about whether her shoes match the blouse she is wearing. Unlike women men do not look at each others outfits as much because it is not as important to them. Men still feel the need to dress up and look good it is just not as important to the average male.
A good example of a way men conform to societies pressures is by lifting weights and going to the gym. Every guy wants to have six pack abs and look like a Greek god. This arises because most star athletes are portrayed with no shirt on and are noticeably “jacked”. Most women find a guy with big muscles attractive and therefore many men see the need to lift weights and become stronger. If being “jacked” was not portrayed as a good thing by society, then most men would not work out.
After looking far into this issue I definitely believe men find the need to conform to society. Whether it is looking good or dressing nicely there is definitely a want for women to be attracted to us. This attraction causes men to work out and lift weights in order to fulfill what women like. Whether women notice it or not men are always around them trying to impress or be acknowledged. Obviously not all men are like this, but I believe the majority of men are like this and see the need to conform in order to be more liked by other.
I was thinking about this the entire time I was sitting in class. Like most people have already written, I feel like societal pressure on males gets pushed to the side because a) men are the majority and are less likely to be sympathized with and b) having a problem with societal pressure on males is considered un-masculine. As a male and as a result of the latter reason I just mentioned, I feel inclined to suck it up and not complain about the pressure I regularly feel due to societal norms and gender roles, but this is also the perfect place to discuss this issue without being too harshly judged, so here goes.
Not a day goes by where I don't look at myself in the mirror and think, "man, you should really start working out again." I'm not unhealthy by any stretch of the word – I eat well, I'm not overweight – in fact I'm really thin, and while I'm thankful to have a lightning-fast metabolism, I do wish that I could bulk up. Sure I could put in more dedication at the gym, but isn't that true of anyone who is unhappy with their weight? No one would dare suggest to a woman struggling with weight that she should suck it up and work out. How insensitive, right? I'm affected by the media (GQ or Men's Health, for example) and compare myself to others just as much as anyone does, and although I'm sure a lot of guys wouldn't admit it, I bet many other guys are as self-conscious as I am. If you honestly think there isn't an idealized male image, think again.
What makes it worse for men, in my opinion, is that society tells us that we are not allowed to express how we feel. Whenever I get upset about something, I'm almost conditioned to think about it for a while, keep it to myself, tell myself it's not that big of a deal, and then push the issue out of my mind. Sure I'll confide in friends and family from time to time, but a lot of bottling does occur. If a guy has a problem with pressure put on them to look or act a certain way, they're just supposed to deal with it or write it off. It's just as hard for guys to become secure with themselves as it is for girls, honestly. Ever since I was a teenager I struggled with not being extremely masculine. The biggest disconnect between me and most other guys I know and hang out with has to do with a passion (or lack thereof) for sports. I like to play tennis and soccer and I like to watch tennis too, but I don't enjoy baseball and I'm barely into football. I don't know statistics, I don't watch ESPN, I don't care about March Madness, and I don't "have a team" for any sport, really. A lot of my male friends talk about sports like its their way of life, but I just don't get it. I sometimes wonder how many of them watch sports obsessively just because it's the male thing to do.
Hopefully this issue gets more exposure because I feel like no one truly takes it seriously. It must have something to do with how there are more stories out there about how girls go to more drastic measures to change their physical appearance.
I think everyone has to conform to society. In many ways by attending Penn State everyone is conforming a society that say that you need a college education be successful. However, as a man I feel the need a lot to conform to society. Maybe not in the same exact way women are but I think men have a certain image that they must live up to to be successful. I think for the most part women and men respect men more when they are in shape and clean cut. In other ways, I think men may not be able to show a "feminine" side or show their emotions. If they are, they are somewhat outcasted by their friends. For example, if I cry in class, I'm now that guy who cried, but if a girl did the same thing no one would think about it twice. I think especially at Penn State, a school that has students largely from the upper middle class there is a certain way guys should look. Another good example would be the most televised sports are men's sports, and everyone looks up to these sports stars. So there again men have to be strong and powerful. Many men idolize and try to look like their NFL counterparts. Men must also be successful and bring home the most money (not saying that there is anything wrong with a wife making more than her husband) and if they don't they are seen in a different light.
I think men hold themselves to a high physical appearance as well. You can tell by how crowded the gyms are, and who are most of the people in there? Guys. I think that women feel that they must look good for men, but I think the opposite is held in just as high of a standard.
If men differ from the standard of what society thinks of them, there are assumptions immediately made against them.
Also, there is all of society's norms about dating. The guy is expected to pursue, pay for the dates, and initiate the woman. In many cases if men feel insecure or not calm in social situations other people assume that there must be something wrong with that guy. Guys also have to be strong when a relationship ends, and can't show any emotion. I think the phrase "take it like a man" kind of sums up this whole topic the best. Men are held to emotional standards higher than women are. Its okay if a woman shows too much emotion in a situation, it can be written off, but a guy is supposed to enter and exit a situation sans emotion, and bottle up everything else.
Even though I am not a male I still have strong opinions and views on the question in the video. I have enough guy friends to know that although some of them strive to have the perfect muscular body, most of them do not feel the need to conform to society in the same way that women do. Women are constantly striving to get the perfect body and to make themselves as attractive and desirable as they can. Men, on the other hand, don't care that much about their appearance at least not to the extent that women do. Of course, there will always be that number of men who are obsessed with going to the gym and getting as muscular and buff as they possibly can but to my knowledge most men don't strive that much to get the perfect body. I mean let's think about this logistically, for the most part the majority of humans who have eating disorders are women. I am not saying that no men out there in the world have eating disorders because that would just be completely foolish to think. However, it is well known that for the most part the individuals who have such problems like eating disorders tend to be females. I think it is safe to say that women feel more of a pressure to conform to what society thinks is beautiful and attractive than men do. I also think that even though women compare themselves a lot to other women, men are also responsible for how much women feel they need to conform to society's image because men often judge women and critique them on a daily basis. I can't even count how many times I've sat in front of guys in class or have passed them on the street and have overheard comments they were making about other girls they were looking at. It seems that guys are always judging girls and comparing them to other ones that they know or that they see at that time. Meanwhile, most girls that I know don't sit there and judge guys to the extent that guys do to girls. I'm not saying girls never talk about guys that they think are attractive or stuff like that because of course we do, however, for the most part I have overheard guys judge girls and talk about girls way more often than girls talk about guys. This is, in part, why I feel that guys don't feel such a need to conform to society because they are not being judged or critiqued as much as girls are. I think that is just the way that we have grown up in society and although I wish women weren’t judged so much on physical appearance I don’t think it’s ever going to change.
In America we are under the belief that we are all free and everyone is equal. This is wrong and is pretty evident throughout society. First off, black and white people are not equal because of white superiority, which traces back to the times of slavery. This is portrayed in jobs, housing and education. In most situations whites have the better jobs, live in the better areas and have the better education to be able to own all of this. Men and women, even though are not a race, can be compared to this concept. Inequality between men and women dates back to the time before Jesus. I am catholic so my God is a man and in the bible we believe that God made Adam first, who is also a man.
Men were created first and this gives them the upper hand in a lot. Also, in some countries such as Europe men always controlled the women and told them what to do. Women were subordinate to them and did as they were told. In some Latin countries today this is still evident. For example, in Dominican Republic it is the women who cook, clean and care for the house. They are not supposed to do hard labor or have an “important” job. Their role is to care for the house, the children and of course the men. The typical job that they would have outside the house would be a beauty salon or working at a grocery store, which their husband owns.
In society today women are always trying to improve themselves to live up and beyond the male standards. We are highly influenced by the media especially with the “perfect” appearance and looking appealing for men. In the work place we always have to look presentable with our hair done, nails done and that tight fitting work suit. What is this all for? T he real answer is to be better than the men. It also goes back to the slogan that “what you can do, Women can do better.” The reason why men do not conform to society, as much to a degree as women do is because they already have the upper hand. They do not need to change much about themselves to be better than women because in society’s eyes they already are better. Men are the ones who are the doctors, lawyers, engineers or accountants. They are the ones who buy the large houses and the cars. It is true that women are beginning to move up in this world, but the pace is very slow.
Men change or alter their appearance, not to conform to society but to compete with other men in society. Males are very competitive and do anything to look better than the other male. They buy the better clothes; they go to the gym and brag about pointless things. Sadly, women are one of those important things, but it all has to do with competition. Men do not conform to society, but compete within society.
Men do have to conform to a certain image, just like women do. Not to the extent that woman have too, but almost. Men see athletes, actors, bodybuilders etc… and want to look like them. If they dont look like those select few groups of people, they don't get depressed as much as a woman does when she doesn't look like the way she wants. In other words, looks are important to a man but it isn't as important as it is to females. It is a mans world and sadly women are viewed as objects for men. Men are more valued for their knowledge, reputation, skills, and other things they have to offer besides their physical features. It's because women aren't only interested in looks when looking for a man, when you flip the script, men are very interested in looks and put other things aside when looking for women.
I feel that now more then ever men are conforming to societal views of what the perfect man should be. Men now a days use the term “metro sexual” and it is not an insult. Men are not looked down on for getting manicures and pedicures and going tanning. I personally like how men care more now because women are not the only ones who are trying to impress the opposite sex, or the same sex. Women now wait around while men are getting ready. There are still men who do not care but as well there are women who do not care about their appearance either. I feel that this equals out the playing field, and everybody should try to look the best they could. Everybody wants to fit in and be told that they are attractive. In our society where everybody is judged upon their looks men now feel the pressure as much as women do.
Looking through most of the comments above about the question asked about men, I can't help but agree with the majority of my peers who say men conform just as much as women in today's society. We feel the same way as women do when it comes to fitting in. Feeling accepted is not really a gender issue or a race issue or an issue that relates to any specific type of person. It is a matter of self-esteem and self-confidence. People want to fit in and they want to be apart of the group, whether you are a guy or girl. For girls, it just appears that they want to conform because companies target this. They use stick thin, super model types in all of their commercials and they sell their products to girls in order to look like these women. But doesn't the same thing apply to men? Don't companies like Gilette and Axe use guys who are models and flawless in their commercials to convince normal looking, average joe's to purchase their products to look like them. They do. It happens to both men and women. I think the major difference between the two are that girls are more likely to admit another girl is attractive and say they want to look like that. Not many guys are comfortable enough to say another guy is good looking and that they wish they appeared like that. That is why I think we always assume it's just girls who want to conform to these images and not men too. I think this reason goes full circle and I think the reason behind it is conformity too. As easy as it is to spot a good looking girl, it is just as easy to spot a guy who is good looking. However, most guys won't admit another guy is good looking or that they want to look like them because other guys don't do this and it is not manly to do this.
But in all reality, guys crave to conform to society's standards. Why do you think you see so many guys in the gym lifting weights? Why do you see so many guys drinking protein and using weight gain supplements? Guys do all these sorts of things because society expects us to look like this and be fit and athletic looking. This is why so many guys try to dress a certain way and work out. So long story short, it's not just girls who feel the need to conform to society's image of perfection. Boys do the same exact thing. We secretly want to look like Brad Pitt just as much as you wish you looked like Angeline Jolie.
I definitely think men face the same things women do when compared to what society’s saying. I do think women have it a little bit harder, maybe that’s because I am a woman, but I think men also face the same things and have that idea that they need to look or act a certain way. I never really thought of it until now because this topic is usually about women. I asked a couple of my guy friends how they felt and they definitely all agreed and said that they feel like they need to conform to what society wants them to. Fitting in is something that everyone wants to accomplish. It’s just part of human nature to want to be like everyone else and not be the odd one out. The media definitely has had a major affect on what is “normal” and what is not. Women especially face this problem. Just go to a grocery store and go to the magazine isle. There are hundreds of magazines with skinny, tall, fit women. Of course when an average woman sees this they are going to critique themselves and feel some sort of way about it. Celebrities are a big factor too. Actors and actresses do come in all shapes and sizes but most of them are very thin and are very similar with their bodies. Modeling is another thing that’s horrible for the perception of the woman’s body. How is it that the anorexic skinny look looks good in their eyes? This just makes young girls and women strive to be like that which affects health amoung a number of different things. Men definitely have this to battle with too. I don’t think it’s as strong as women though. In ads and movies, most of the men that win over women’s hearts are the handsome, tall, built men. We see it over and over again. Of course there are going to be exceptions, but for the most part that is what we see. I think men do a good job at covering up ther insecuriteis more than women can though. This helps with the idea that maybe men don’t go through these emotions and insecurities. The desire to fit in is pretty much inevitable and probably will never go away no matter what anyone tries to change. I think the thing is with this, no matter men or women, people need to just accept who they are. No one is perfect, everyone has a flaw or something they do not like about themselves. That’s what makes us all human. When people stop worrying about their weight, or height, or hair color, or anything like that, then the people in the media will not matter.
Do men feel pressure to look good? obviously we do, just like women. Its a little different for men however. Men do run the world, and one of their main interests is women. Woman on the other hand, feel as though they must look a certain way so that men will be interested in them. Its just one of many double standards that women face and that men will never be able to understand.
I think it is pretty well known that men are very interested in looks when searching for a female partner. I think most men (or almost all) would say that looks are the most important thing when they search for a female. Of course men care about the girls personality but i think that is a secondary thing, at least until you are seriously considering marriage. Women on the other hand are a little different. Of course, women care about a man's physical appearance, but not nearly as much as men do. Women are enamored with a man's sense of humor, kindness, selflessness, honesty, intelligence, manners, sensitivity, sincerity, affection, consideration, thoughtfulness, etc… the list goes on and on. Looks are much more important for a man than for a woman.
I totally think that men feel the pressure to conform to what society establishes as the norm in our generation or any generation. Whether it is wearing baggie clothes or leisure suits men have always been dressing with society just as much as women have. Even though men may have an easier time covering up a non perfect body, they still feel the pressure to look good and feel good about themselves. If they didn’t, there wouldn’t be tons of men at the gym all the top checking themselves out in the mirrors and attempting to make themselves bulk up to please other people with their appearance.
Yes I do believe that guys have to conform to society to the degree that woman do. While most people look at woman and just assume they are conforming because they are trying to act like the woman in magazines and television men have the same problem. Men try just as hard as woman to fit in. They try and wear the same clothes as the people they see on television and they go to the gym and try to get the same body and shape as the people that are in magazines. So while many people don’t seem to believe that guys conform to society as much as woman, I believe that they do.
I believe every man has his standards, just like every woman has their standards when it comes to a partner. Now, me personally in terms of dating, I have a "drearm body" just like anyone else. However, I don't strictly dictate my choice in women by "dream body" shape – personality also plays a big part for me. Like everyone else, I do have a minimum in terms of body build. For instance, I have between a small and medium build when it come it body shape, so I expect the same from a woman (for dating purposes only). Aside from dating purposes, as long as I really enjoy their personality, body shape doesn't mean anything. If someone was to look at some of my friends whom are women (friends only), they could tell body size is not an issue – they have good personalities and I get along with them really well.
For dating purposes, I do one have one physical characteristic that is necessary – which I will relay over the race relations project website. Like I said before, I don't discriminate women in terms of body shape, personality and if we share a lot of things in common are also a neccesity.
In terms of body shape, I believe women are biggest criticizers when it comes to judging other women. I mean seriously, this can be seen in class. As soon a woman walk down the stairs wearing something even a tight or slighty revealing, another woman is giving them a stare like "who does that bitch think she is," "I'd look so much better in that she does," or "what a whore." If anything, I feel like women should be more concerned with other women in terms judgement – not men so much. So overall, I have to agree with the girls in class who share the same opinion.
Why would men be exempt from feeling like they have to conform to society's expectations? I think their expectations might be slightly healthier than what is expected from women, but of course they still have the weight of fitting in on their shoulders. Women might aim to be thinner than necessary or have to try harder to look presentable, they could have but men do too. They are expected to have defined, muscular bodies and high paying jobs. They think the way to be “cool” is to drive nice cars and buy expensive stuff but obviously that’s a pretty high expectation to live up to. Yeah, men definitely have it as tough as women do.
Men have to conform to society in a few certain ways, but not nearly in as many ways as much as women do. I feel the main reason that people have to conform is because they feel they need to be perceived as the norm. The norm is set by whats on television, whats in the movie theaters, whats on magazine covers, and etc. The women that are on all of these outlets are mainly women in show business, who are beautiful and have tremendous bodies, exemplifying the word perfect. Perfect face structure, perfect eyes, perfect smile, perfect chest, legs, everything. Guys on the other hand have more of a variety when it comes to this. Sure, there are good looking guys that are being showcased in the media, but there are all different kinds of guys. Fat guys, really skinny guys, weird looking guys, old guys, and so on. Its a big difference trying to look like Megan Fox then trying to look like Seth Rogen. This is one of the main reasons that men don't have to conform as much as women do.
Another reason is that men are rarely asked to change their image or appearance. Growing up I would throw whatever clothes on, leave my hair the same way it was when I woke up, and start my day. Sure, I would get dressed up for weekends and what not but for most of the week it was just a different pair of sweatpants and a different random tee. Girls are always judged by what brand their wearing, how the colors match, do the shoes go with the outfit, and all of that. They are constantly reminded of this by other girls who are also wearing just as expensive clothes with expensive shoes, and they constantly strive to look better then each other. Guys on the other hand don't take much notice to what other guys are wearing unless its something really nice or something really dirty.
It's just built into the female system to care more about what other people think about them in regards to their looks and appearance. Body issues are always prevalent whether it be face, chest, or lower body. They are constantly reminded of this by girls showing off their cleavage, wearing the shortest skirts, and so on.
The only thing that men somewhat conform to is athletics. Its always embedded into a young boys way of thinking that he should be involved in sports. Thats why certain guys are always looked at as weird if they choose to sing or dance at a young age instead of playing basketball or baseball. You always want to go over to a guys place and watch the game, and not a soap opera. Other then that I can't see many other things that guys are forced to conform too.
Men have to conform to society in a few certain ways, but not nearly in as many ways as much as women do. I feel the main reason that people have to conform is because they feel they need to be perceived as the norm. The norm is set by whats on television, whats in the movie theaters, whats on magazine covers, and etc. The women that are on all of these outlets are mainly women in show business, who are beautiful and have tremendous bodies, exemplifying the word perfect. Perfect face structure, perfect eyes, perfect smile, perfect chest, legs, everything. Guys on the other hand have more of a variety when it comes to this. Sure, there are good looking guys that are being showcased in the media, but there are all different kinds of guys. Fat guys, really skinny guys, weird looking guys, old guys, and so on. Its a big difference trying to look like Megan Fox then trying to look like Seth Rogen. This is one of the main reasons that men don't have to conform as much as women do.
As a guy with just as many female friends as male friends, I can say with absolutely certainty that girls care way more about fitting in with the "norm" than guys–although we do care to an extent. It takes the average girl an hour to get ready to go out. I don't even know how many outfit changes I have seen the same girl do in the matter of ten minutes, whereas I wear whatever I wore to class that morning when I go out. I mean I can't blame a girl when I see this going on, because every other girl is doing it too, so she has to keep par and look equally as nice when she hits the dance floor at the frat she's going to. It's a problem that has clearly spiraled out of control in recent years–females needing to look better than every other girl when going out.
To address the fact that guys conform somewhat to what society portrays as the “norm,” we do to a slight extent. Just as girls diet to look thin, guys lift weights to look muscular. We’re all guilty of going to the gym to look good. This is certainly a type of conformity. I read a reply earlier stating that guys all dress the same in an effort to conform. I would argue that this is more of a cultural thing than a conformity thing. Most guys wear jeans and a hoody/t-shirt on a daily basis. I mean all guys do it, but what else are we going to wear? That is what is comfortable to me, and I’m not going to go out of my way to be different.
Another similarity between guys and girls on this topic is how we show off our “physiques.” Girls walk around campus with revealing tank tops and shorts that are about four inches in height in order to get guys to look their direction. But likewise, for every girl there is wearing this outfit, there’s a guy in a sleeveless shirt strolling around campus trying to show off his body at the same time. It’s just seen differently when girls do it as opposed to guys.
When I’m hanging out with my guy friends on a weekend, we just do whatever we want to have fun. We don’t really care what other people think about us, we just go out to whatever party we’re going to that night and hang out and have a good time. When I’m hanging out with my female friends, however, it’s a completely different story. Before we leave, they need to know who all is at the party, because “oh my god if Joe is there I have to change my outfit first.” I’ve been around it more than I would like to, and it’s so obvious that girls play mind games when it comes to how they look. It’s more complex that my organic chemistry class. So from experience, girls are way guiltier of this, although guys should take some of the blame.
As a male I really feel no urge to conform to society’s norms. I really feel like the difference between guys and girls is that guys really just do not care about what other people think. Generally speaking, girls just care way too much what other people think. They also get so embarrassed over the smallest most insignificant events. It’s really a shame that this is the case, because girls would be much more fun if they approached life like guys. If they had the “I don’t give a shit attitude” that guys live their life by, the world would be a much better place. Girls care way too much about their social standing and what other people think of them. I think it would be extremely interesting to actually see how they would act and by interesting I mean hilarious. Every environment would just be more fun if girls just didn’t care. No one likes uptight people because they just ruin everyone’s time. I think uptight people, girls and guys, are the people that feel the need to conform to the norms of today’s world. Don’t get me wrong I like when girls get all done up and look great, but I really feel that sometimes they do it for the wrong reasons. In class on Tuesday, I was really disappointed to hear that some girls dress up and try and look hot so they can be hotter than the next girl rather than just trying to look good for their own self respect. I know that on a night when I go out I try and look clean cut and put together so I can look my personal best, not cause I’m comparing myself to the other guys out there. I really do not know why girls feel the need to make such a big deal about conforming to societies norms, but I wish I did so I could talk to them about it. I would give them some great advice about how they shouldn’t care at all and just live their life. All the time the spent worrying about what other girls looked like and trying to be hotter than the next girl could be spent in a more efficient way once I finished talking to them. Many times, these girls spend more time worrying about how they look when they could be worrying about more important things. What happens if the girls worry more about what they look like compared to what they think of themselves? What happens to these girls self esteems? As a guy, when I make a decision on a girl, whether consciously or subconsciously, my decision it usually based on how they treat themselves and the people around them. If a girl takes the time to ‘make themselves up,’ but at the same times is a jerk to the people around them, their demeanor usually deters me and other guys from approaching them. It is much more becoming for a girl to act and dress the way they want then the way their friends and peers decide they should. I’d rather date a girl who takes pride in her personality and appearance then a girl who takes pride in her appearance and social status. It is more enjoyable and easier for a guys to talk to a girl who prides herself in personality than it is for a girl who focuses on her appearance. And to be honest, it is often ‘sexier’ for a girl to wear whatever she feels comfortable in, but at the same time can hold an interesting conversation.
Men have to conform to society in a few certain ways, but not nearly in as many ways as much as women do. I feel the main reason that people have to conform is because they feel they need to be perceived as the norm. The norm is set by whats on television, whats in the movie theaters, whats on magazine covers, and etc. The women that are on all of these outlets are mainly women in show business, who are beautiful and have tremendous bodies, exemplifying the word perfect. Perfect face structure, perfect eyes, perfect smile, perfect chest, legs, everything. Guys on the other hand have more of a variety when it comes to this. Sure, there are good looking guys that are being showcased in the media, but there are all different kinds of guys. Fat guys, really skinny guys, weird looking guys, old guys, and so on. Its a big difference trying to look like Megan Fox then trying to look like Seth Rogen. This is one of the main reasons that men don't have to conform as much as women do.
Another reason is that men are rarely asked to change their image or appearance. Growing up I would throw whatever clothes on, leave my hair the same way it was when I woke up, and start my day. Sure, I would get dressed up for weekends and what not but for most of the week it was just a different pair of sweatpants and a different random tee. Girls are always judged by what brand their wearing, how the colors match, do the shoes go with the outfit, and all of that. They are constantly reminded of this by other girls who are also wearing just as expensive clothes with expensive shoes, and they constantly strive to look better then each other. Guys on the other hand don't take much notice to what other guys are wearing unless its something really nice or something really dirty.
It's just built into the female system to care more about what other people think about them in regards to their looks and appearance. Body issues are always prevalent whether it be face, chest, or lower body. They are constantly reminded of this by girls showing off their cleavage, wearing the shortest skirts, and so on.
The only thing that men somewhat conform to is athletics. Its always embedded into a young boys way of thinking that he should be involved in sports. Thats why certain guys are always looked at as weird if they choose to sing or dance at a young age instead of playing basketball or baseball. You always want to go over to a guys place and watch the game, and not a soap opera. Other then that I can't see many other things that guys are forced to conform too.
I think that men have to conform to society just as much as women do, although the pressure is not as publicized as it is for women. Men are also bombarded with advertisements and role models who are physically fit and attractive. There are a countless number of workout/body enhancement products out on the market that cater to this need. Men can shrug it off as trying to ‘be fit’, but in reality they are just trying to fit in with what is portrayed as the ideal man in society.
Magazines and television are constantly displaying pieces detailing the most eligible bachelor, or sexiest man in America. I think we are exposed to the same amount of pressure that women are. We may not have to use makeup but there are other comparables, such as physical physique, skin conditions, etc.
I can say as a gay male, the pressure is held to an even higher standard. I am constantly judged by peers and friends on how I act, walk, talk, dress … everything you can imagine. After all is said and done, it’s really hard to not think you have to walk around like you’re on some type of pedestal for the world to see. There is a reason people think gay men are so pretentious. Then we have to envy the models and movie stars just like everyone else, trying to have their abs or their hair. You have to make the best with what you have and be proud about yourself.
No one wants to be the average Joe that is displayed on TV because it is seen as unattractive. Who would want to be friends with someone who had a receeding hairline, beer-gut, and bad skin? We can sit here and say that beauty lies within but when it really comes down to it, that’s just an idealistic thought. You’re not going to bump into that average Joe at Starbucks and want to flirt or start up a conversation with him. That’s not what is seen as attractive. But if that average Joe suddenly had long locks of hair, a ripped physique, and gorgeous tanned skin, you would be bending over backwards trying to check him out.
The standards of beauty for women may be more publicized, but I truly think men have it just as hard, and are not willing to talk about it. Men have their pride and dignity first, and as it has become apparent through history, a man who shows his emotions or feelings is seen as feminine or below his peers. We have this glass floor set before us that really prohibits an amazing and awesome exchange of ideas and attitudes between peers.
Of course we do. No one wants to not fit in. Men conform to the societal norm just as women do. However, I think the standard for a man is far less stringent than that of a woman. That’s why I feel many women don’t think men conform, but in all honesty we do, we just do it subtly. Look at any prominent male figure in today’s society. Tall, dark, handsome, and lets not forget ripped. Men are very self-conscious. We just don’t go around talking about it with our friends. And fortunately for us, society doesn’t require us to show off these assets on a daily basis, unlike the norm for women. You don’t see to many men coming to class with no shirt on, do you? Clothing for women has basically turned into a display case for men to feast their eyes on. For some reason society says naked women are ok, but men best be fully clothed.
I think all men on one level or another feel the need to conform to society the way women do. I mean we’re all not shooting to be a Mr. mom, in fact men have always aimed and set their goals to support a family. I mean some of us have a hard time putting on weight while others have a hard time losing it, depending on where you are guys who are looking to look like the way society would like to see them we train and run and play and lift. We try to mold ourselves the way women try to mold themselves to be the perfect image one way or another
C’mon, do I ever feel like I have to conform to what the social world expects from men? If you mean do I ever feel like I should be awesome because all men should be awesome than yes, I do feel the need to conform. But the awesome thing about awesomeness is that I can be awesome no matter what I do as long as it is awesome, which it is. If I want to look good I just got to throw on my stunnas, my basketball jersey and my bball shorts. If I want to do something awesome I just got to drink my brains out. If I want to sleep somewhere awesome, I just choose the most awesome part of the floor. So in truth, the only pressure I feel, is the pressure to succeed. And the pressure to succeed means nothing because college is all that matters in life. So much sarcasm in this post I just needed to make that official.
Men have to conform to society in a few certain ways, but not nearly in as many ways as much as women do. I feel the main reason that people have to conform is because they feel they need to be perceived as the norm. The norm is set by whats on television, whats in the movie theaters, whats on magazine covers, and etc. The women that are on all of these outlets are mainly women in show business, who are beautiful and have tremendous bodies, exemplifying the word perfect. Perfect face structure, perfect eyes, perfect smile, perfect chest, legs, everything. Guys on the other hand have more of a variety when it comes to this. Sure, there are good looking guys that are being showcased in the media, but there are all different kinds of guys. Fat guys, really skinny guys, weird looking guys, old guys, and so on. Its a big difference trying to look like Megan Fox then trying to look like Seth Rogen. This is one of the main reasons that men don't have to conform as much as women do.
Another reason is that men are rarely asked to change their image or appearance. Growing up I would throw whatever clothes on, leave my hair the same way it was when I woke up, and start my day. Sure, I would get dressed up for weekends and what not but for most of the week it was just a different pair of sweatpants and a different random tee. Girls are always judged by what brand their wearing, how the colors match, do the shoes go with the outfit, and all of that. They are constantly reminded of this by other girls who are also wearing just as expensive clothes with expensive shoes, and they constantly strive to look better then each other. Guys on the other hand don't take much notice to what other guys are wearing unless its something really nice or something really dirty.
It's just built into the female system to care more about what other people think about them in regards to their looks and appearance. Body issues are always prevalent whether it be face, chest, or lower body. They are constantly reminded of this by girls showing off their cleavage, wearing the shortest skirts, and so on.
The only thing that men somewhat conform to is athletics. Its always embedded into a young boys way of thinking that he should be involved in sports. Thats why certain guys are always looked at as weird if they choose to sing or dance at a young age instead of playing basketball or baseball. You always want to go over to a guys place and watch the game, and not a soap opera. Other then that I can't see many other things that guys are forced to conform too.
Men have to conform to society in a few certain ways, but not nearly in as many ways as much as women do. I feel the main reason that people have to conform is because they feel they need to be perceived as the norm. The norm is set by whats on television, whats in the movie theaters, whats on magazine covers, and etc. The women that are on all of these outlets are mainly women in show business, who are beautiful and have tremendous bodies, exemplifying the word perfect. Perfect face structure, perfect eyes, perfect smile, perfect chest, legs, everything. Guys on the other hand have more of a variety when it comes to this. Sure, there are good looking guys that are being showcased in the media, but there are all different kinds of guys. Fat guys, really skinny guys, weird looking guys, old guys, and so on. Its a big difference trying to look like Megan Fox then trying to look like Seth Rogen. This is one of the main reasons that men don't have to conform as much as women do.
Another reason is that men are rarely asked to change their image or appearance. Growing up I would throw whatever clothes on, leave my hair the same way it was when I woke up, and start my day. Sure, I would get dressed up for weekends and what not but for most of the week it was just a different pair of sweatpants and a different random tee. Girls are always judged by what brand their wearing, how the colors match, do the shoes go with the outfit, and all of that. They are constantly reminded of this by other girls who are also wearing just as expensive clothes with expensive shoes, and they constantly strive to look better then each other. Guys on the other hand don't take much notice to what other guys are wearing unless its something really nice or something really dirty.
It's just built into the female system to care more about what other people think about them in regards to their looks and appearance. Body issues are always prevalent whether it be face, chest, or lower body. They are constantly reminded of this by girls showing off their cleavage, wearing the shortest skirts, and so on.
The only thing that men somewhat conform to is athletics. Its always embedded into a young boys way of thinking that he should be involved in sports. Thats why certain guys are always looked at as weird if they choose to sing or dance at a young age instead of playing basketball or baseball. You always want to go over to a guys place and watch the game, and not a soap opera. Other then that I can't see many other things that guys are forced to conform too.
As a male I believe there isn’t a lot of force to conform to society. However, when I actually sit down and think about it, I believe there are a lot of natural or unconscious decisions to conform to society. I played football in high school so I always hung out with my football buddies and we would always do similar things such as watch the games and go out to eat and just kind of chill around town however it never really was conforming to society it is more like conforming to your group of friends. I believe it is very similar with females. I have met several females ranging in a vast array of characteristics. I don’t believe it is society that shapes us but the actual people we hang out with.
Maybe this question isn’t as much what shapes us personality wise but the things we do. There are just certain things that certain genders do and if you do the opposite society frowns upon it I honestly disagree with this but it’s the way people treat it. There are things that are considered to be “feminine” so girls in the field are accepted by society but guys are looked at as “gay” even if they are not. This is where I believe we have a larger problem then what we wear because honestly girls wear what they wear so guys notice them. If their friends all wore clothing that did cover them up more guys would still find their way to them and they wouldn’t be conforming to society as we say they do. Women just believe that they have to do certain things and dress certain ways but the fact is most guys really just don’t care. We all, us guys, conform some such as we don’t wear sweat pants out to parties we usually wear jeans and a nice shirt or polo. It’s just girls at parties don’t only wear jeans and a nice top but they have to go out and get new dresses and never can wear the same one twice. I’m not sure why most girls are like that or even a lot of guys have to wear brand new clothing or a certain brand. I honestly believe it’s a status that we all hold each other to.
People get so caught up in their “status” such as their group, culture, race, class, and many other categories that we have to conform to which ever means most to us. The problem is more of us need to conform to ourselves. I don’t think it’s a sex thing I think its humanity. We notice it more with girls and girls admit to it guys seem to do it more unconsciously but if you ask them why they actually are doing something or wearing something and they actually think about it is what means most to them.
For once I find a topic that I actually don’t have to think hard about answering. When it comes to society and its views of fashionable and “relevant” most seem to think that it is all based on the viewer’s opinion and what they see as attractive. But the truth of the matter is that there are a very small percentage of people in the United States who don’t look to the media to determine what they do in their personal lives. The media is what builds a society. From music, magazines, and movies, to the commercials, infomercials, and programs on the television, all of these modes of media all play a part in molding and creating the communities we live in. I also believe that the main audiences for these media outlets are between the ages of 13-18, the adolescents of our societies. These adolescents then grow up to become the next college generation, where again, we are even more effected by the media. So when the question arises, if men are affected as much as women by the media, the answer is plain and simple. Yes. The media’s purpose has, and always will be to “affect” the masses. They want us to do what they want us to do, they want us to wear what they want us to wear, so what would be the purpose of just focusing on women? The reason why society seems to focus on women being the main bitch of the media is that women are the primary consumer, however men on a daily basis see things in the media that affect in the same way women are affected. When women see a half naked swim suit model with her ribs showing with huge boobs they think that that’s what the norm should be and that’s what they need to look like to fit in, or better yet, stand out. Men do the same thing when they see the cover of Men’s Health Magazine. They wonder how the men get that ripped, what they need to do to be that ripped, why do those men get more women than me, etc. Men aren’t in the gym usually for themselves, there in the gym because they are trying to conform to society’s view of perfection set by the media over the years. I know I probably sound like a radical political supremacist of something but this is what I see as the truth. The main reason I think this to be true has to do with the amount of men and women around the world that starve themselves and work themselves raggid trying to conform to what they see on tv or in a magazine. It’s foolish and unhealthy, and the day we allow ourselves to love us for who we are and not try to go with what the media portrays as great, then we’ll be fine.
I do understand that women feel obligated to conform in society. A lot of pressure is placed on them to look their best. I constantly see girls watching what they eat and exercising to the point that they pass out. Even worse is on the weekend when you see girls going to parties dressing in an outfit that has less material than a shoelace. I understand that they want to attract guys, but they need to leave a little to the imagination. Girls conform constantly, but they are much more open about it. They let the world know how hard it is to fit into their pants or get the right tan. They care too much about what other people think, but they’re not the only ones.
Guys always care about their image. I personally don’t take five hours in the morning to pick out my outfit for the day. I usually grab whatever shirt is on top, but I definitely care about how I look. I spend usually 4 days at the gym a week and try to eat healthy as much as I can. I like to look my best and have my body in good shape. If you ever step into the gym, the majority people there are self-conscious about their image. Why do you think guys take steroids? They want to impress everyone they see. When you look like you’re about to rip out of your shirt, a sort of unspoken respect is received. It’s nice to get a double take from someone walking down the street because you just finished a workout. Guys don’t want to mess with other guys that are bigger than them and girls are attracted to guys with a good body. Guys definitely want to look good because if they have the roll out of bed look, no girl is going to go for him. Anytime you go to a night club, every guy there is trying to score with the hottest chick in there. Everyone knows that the best looking guy will get that. So in a way it’s sort of a competition between other guys to see who can get the best girl.
Over the past fifty years, guys have been becoming more self-conscious about their image. The term “metro sexual” is being used more now. Guys will go shopping in hopes of looking their best. I’m personally not a fan of shopping, but I don’t wear a Nike shirt out to a party. I take pride in looking my best and try to keep up with my grooming whether it’s doing my hair or a couple sprays of cologne. Guys may not show it, but deep down we care about our image too.
As a man( which meaning myself) I honestly believe that some men do exactly the same thing as women do but just in a different manner. As a women the most attractive women are the more skinny and petite females. Well honestly that isn't true but that is beside the point. Men want to or at least most of them want to be the more masculine and buffer type male, but in other instances men also want to be your so called pretty boy type of male. So I honestly believe society plays a big role on how men present themselves. For example , in class 3 females presented a ten minute skit about how girls are pressured to be this barbie figure individual person. Men are suppose to have nice bodies and rock beach abs. So men are pressured to do things such as steroids, not saying that I would take them, but many men do to look like a ken doll for the ladies.
So to answer your question do men have it as bad as women yes in certain instances. But the differences is the women media physic is being protrayed I believe twice as much as males. Even in beer commercials, women are always so lean and fit looking like models 99.9 percent of the time. And men are often times drinking the beer with beer bellies sitting on the coach watching ESPN. That to society is often times excepted and no one really cares about the beer belly, But if a women had a beer belly it would be looked as a terriable image and people wouldn't even attempt to buy that brand of beer. So like i was saying yes men deal with the same problems and influential media pressure as women do on a day to day basis , but I believe women deal with it twice as much and if not that triple as much. We all live in a world that is so depended on looks and popularity that we often forget the to look at the person for who or what they really are and bring to the table. Its a tough society to live in, but honestly I believe if you are skinny, fat, small, tall, ugly or gorgeous to a magazine cover artist6 or whatever there is something about you that will make you more beatiful then the super model that rips the run way with her petite figure. You just have to know what you bring to the table . To be noticed is just to be yourself, not to try and look like the next person because that is what you were born to look the same as everyone else we wouldn,t have these problems. A real man wants a real women not a pretty face they come a dime a dozen.
What about men? Men are just the same as women except the different body types and how the body is form. Although we handle situations different than some females would, I honestly believed that were easily influenced by culture as well as them. Matter fact scratch that statement I’ve just made. Everyone is influenced by the media in some way. When growing up as a youngster you can’t tell me that one did not look up to a famous person or leading actor and wanted to be like them. I know I did and still have dreams of becoming or being better than a certain person.
Today in economy class, my professor was giving a speech about monopoly and how diamonds have a huge affect on love. You know when seeing a commercial about diamonds it’s usually the soul mate giving it to the other portraying how they feel about that certain person. Well in that class he was telling us and showing us clips of how the media basically says the best gift showing love is giving a diamond. So our professor told us that he asked his wife what she wanted for their twenty fifth anniversary. It happens to be a diamond ring, so he told her does she want a perfect diamond or a unique diamond. The difference is that a perfect diamond is shaped up and is not rare and unique diamond meaning only you have that certain kind and it cost thousands of dollars more. She didn’t know so she picks the perfect diamond. He told her the difference and she picks the unique diamond. So he asked the boys in the class, if the media portrayed copper as big as they do diamonds and diamonds was falling under the radar, what would we choose to buy? About all of us said copper and one answered copper because “monkey see, monkey do, and you would be stupid not to chase after what monkey like”. Showing that whatever the media or society is boasting about. You will see a huge drift in how we human beings will start to focus more on things like that. Myself is a victim of doing this as well. I want all the fancy things that I see on TV and you can’t blame me for not wanting them. They are kind of establishing your social norm in society. Showing how long your money is rappers would say.
I believe that some men do try to conform to what society perceives them to be. From the way they dress to the way they talk and even to the way they may treat women. In the African American society men who are mostly popular and the society I grew up in are always rappers or basketball players. I know too many black men that aspire to be rappers and basketball players without even thinking of getting the right education first. Even when it comes to the way they dress most of the fashion trends start with celebrities and then young men start to try and dress like this. I remember when I was growing up back in the Bronx guys caring about “being fresh” (having the brand name clothes). It had to be Jordan’s, Gucci’s and Prada’s on their feet. I think the only difference between the way men let society/media affect and the way women do is that women take it more serious because they want to be “beautiful and more accepted”
I think that in some ways men are forced to conform to societal rules and social constructs but perhaps in their younger years and they may not be as vocal about the necessity to conform later. It may seem dated and overplayed but still the conception that boys don’t cry is alive and well in society today. Although there may be more men than before who do not apply to this “rule” I think it is still prevalent. Also, I think that as young men enter into the social scene where they may feel the need to conform, they do so in more subtle ways than young women so perhaps it becomes less noticeable. Also, from the boy don’t cry, or emote in general, there is the sense that it is not necessary for them to make their transformations to fit the in crowd publically known.
I think this is an interesting question and a topic that does not really get much attention. A lot of focus is put on the need most women feel to conform to society’s demands, and rightfully so. There is no doubt in my mind that due to the influence of peer pressure, media attention, and societal demands that women are pressured to conform much more than men are. However, men also experience this phenomenon. Men have to deal with increasing pressures in regard to not only their appearance, but also their demeanor and what constitutes acceptable male behavior.
In terms of appearance, men are under more pressure than ever to sculpt their bodies into the mold that the media tells us is ideal. Being a man myself, and a skinny one at that, I find it frustrating that my body type is not what most would consider to be desirable. Although most people would consider me to be someone in relatively good shape, I usually hear from people that I’m “too skinny” and people seem to think that I’m probably weak. I find it frustrating that although I’m in shape, my body is still not good enough for most people. It seems that in order to be a “real man” according to today’s societal standards, you need to be muscular and strong. Some people think that anyone can achieve this by working out and eating healthy, but it’s not that easy for all of us. I’ve tried just about everything I could ever think of to try to gain weight, from weight training to binge eating, and pretty much nothing works. My metabolism simply will not allow me to gain weight from ingestion, and the amount of weight training I would have to do to add on pounds of muscle is ridiculous. Although I feel like I should be happy with my body build and have nothing to be ashamed of, other peoples’ expectations often leave me wishing that I was bigger and stronger.
Men also are expected to behave in ways that coincide with being masculine and strong. I am the type of guy who is sensitive and sometimes emotional. However, a lot of times I find myself bottling up my emotions and showing less compassion for people than I would like to simply because I worry that people will think of me as less of a man for it. Men in today’s world are expected to not wear their emotions on their sleeves and to be emotionally callous. It’s amazing how often it seems that girls end up not being attracted to me because I’m “too nice” or “too good of a friend” to them, and how often I see guys who treat girls like absolute garbage have the greatest success with women. It’s really messed up how both men and women are forced to conform just because of others’ expectations.
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This was something I wondered about too while listening during lecture, and just have always wondered in general. Guys' social dynamics are so different than that of girls, so it's hard to really compare the two cultures. I think that women are so exposed and judged in the media, so that the idea of judging overflows into everyday social situations. We talked about this in my discussion group.. how women find it okay letting each other know when they look good or have a cute outfit, haircut, purse, whatever. As well as negatively judging other women (mostly likely not aloud). And we wondered about WHY we think that outfit is good-looking, because we secretly desire that for ourselves? Maybe. But then when it comes to men, you hardly hear men complimenting each other about their looks. However, if that was accepted in society, I'm sure we'd hear it a lot more. I just really wonder if, even though it's not vocalized all the time, men get envious of others' looks or look to them as "trendsetters" like women do. It's true that men do make fun of each other and comment on each other when it comes to bodies, like at the gym or the beach or something.. I've heard that. And that could go along the same lines as women who comment on each others' thinness or breast size. So I feel that men do have a lot of pressure to conform to what is socially acceptable image-wise, which does cause insecurity and envy of other men, but it is not recognized as much because the media doesn't expose men as much as women. I also feel that this socially acceptable image comes from both men and women, not distinctly from either party. The same for women- I feel that women dress to impress guys but also other women, showing that they are trying to be socially acceptable in the eyes of men and other women. It may sound weird to say that men dress to impress other men, but I think they do, just not in the same way as women.
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Men do have to conform a lot to the world just like women do; it is just a different type of conformity. In order to fit in, men usually have to get involved with some sort of sport and follow other professional and collegiate sports so that they can contribute to the usual conversations that happen between men. They also have to learn to keep their emotions at a minimum when around other men, but if they are with women, they usually have to open up and try to be more emotional. There are different situations that men have to conform to and it is the same way for women.
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In response to the comment of whether or not men feel the need to conform in society to the degree that woman do. I do believe that men feel the need to conform to society just like women. It may not be as noticeable, but men definitely feel the need to look good just like women do on a daily basis. Why is it not as noticed by people in society? Is it men who do not show their need to conform as much as women or is it societies fault? I am going to dive into these questions and offer my best opinion on this matter.
My main feeling for why it does not seem that men conform to society is because men do not judge or notice other men as much as women do on a regular basis. This is obvious by attending class and listening to the woman comment on who they get dressed up for when they go out at night. Many people said they dress up to impress other woman because they know that is who is looking at them when they go out. I agree with this statement because as a man most people just look at other women and notice if they are good looking at first glance. It is rare for a guy to say something to a girl about whether her shoes match the blouse she is wearing. Unlike women men do not look at each others outfits as much because it is not as important to them. Men still feel the need to dress up and look good it is just not as important to the average male.
A good example of a way men conform to societies pressures is by lifting weights and going to the gym. Every guy wants to have six pack abs and look like a Greek god. This arises because most star athletes are portrayed with no shirt on and are noticeably “jacked”. Most women find a guy with big muscles attractive and therefore many men see the need to lift weights and become stronger. If being “jacked” was not portrayed as a good thing by society, then most men would not work out.
After looking far into this issue I definitely believe men find the need to conform to society. Whether it is looking good or dressing nicely there is definitely a want for women to be attracted to us. This attraction causes men to work out and lift weights in order to fulfill what women like. Whether women notice it or not men are always around them trying to impress or be acknowledged. Obviously not all men are like this, but I believe the majority of men are like this and see the need to conform in order to be more liked by other.
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I was thinking about this the entire time I was sitting in class. Like most people have already written, I feel like societal pressure on males gets pushed to the side because a) men are the majority and are less likely to be sympathized with and b) having a problem with societal pressure on males is considered un-masculine. As a male and as a result of the latter reason I just mentioned, I feel inclined to suck it up and not complain about the pressure I regularly feel due to societal norms and gender roles, but this is also the perfect place to discuss this issue without being too harshly judged, so here goes.
Not a day goes by where I don't look at myself in the mirror and think, "man, you should really start working out again." I'm not unhealthy by any stretch of the word – I eat well, I'm not overweight – in fact I'm really thin, and while I'm thankful to have a lightning-fast metabolism, I do wish that I could bulk up. Sure I could put in more dedication at the gym, but isn't that true of anyone who is unhappy with their weight? No one would dare suggest to a woman struggling with weight that she should suck it up and work out. How insensitive, right? I'm affected by the media (GQ or Men's Health, for example) and compare myself to others just as much as anyone does, and although I'm sure a lot of guys wouldn't admit it, I bet many other guys are as self-conscious as I am. If you honestly think there isn't an idealized male image, think again.
What makes it worse for men, in my opinion, is that society tells us that we are not allowed to express how we feel. Whenever I get upset about something, I'm almost conditioned to think about it for a while, keep it to myself, tell myself it's not that big of a deal, and then push the issue out of my mind. Sure I'll confide in friends and family from time to time, but a lot of bottling does occur. If a guy has a problem with pressure put on them to look or act a certain way, they're just supposed to deal with it or write it off. It's just as hard for guys to become secure with themselves as it is for girls, honestly. Ever since I was a teenager I struggled with not being extremely masculine. The biggest disconnect between me and most other guys I know and hang out with has to do with a passion (or lack thereof) for sports. I like to play tennis and soccer and I like to watch tennis too, but I don't enjoy baseball and I'm barely into football. I don't know statistics, I don't watch ESPN, I don't care about March Madness, and I don't "have a team" for any sport, really. A lot of my male friends talk about sports like its their way of life, but I just don't get it. I sometimes wonder how many of them watch sports obsessively just because it's the male thing to do.
Hopefully this issue gets more exposure because I feel like no one truly takes it seriously. It must have something to do with how there are more stories out there about how girls go to more drastic measures to change their physical appearance.
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I think everyone has to conform to society. In many ways by attending Penn State everyone is conforming a society that say that you need a college education be successful. However, as a man I feel the need a lot to conform to society. Maybe not in the same exact way women are but I think men have a certain image that they must live up to to be successful. I think for the most part women and men respect men more when they are in shape and clean cut. In other ways, I think men may not be able to show a "feminine" side or show their emotions. If they are, they are somewhat outcasted by their friends. For example, if I cry in class, I'm now that guy who cried, but if a girl did the same thing no one would think about it twice. I think especially at Penn State, a school that has students largely from the upper middle class there is a certain way guys should look. Another good example would be the most televised sports are men's sports, and everyone looks up to these sports stars. So there again men have to be strong and powerful. Many men idolize and try to look like their NFL counterparts. Men must also be successful and bring home the most money (not saying that there is anything wrong with a wife making more than her husband) and if they don't they are seen in a different light.
I think men hold themselves to a high physical appearance as well. You can tell by how crowded the gyms are, and who are most of the people in there? Guys. I think that women feel that they must look good for men, but I think the opposite is held in just as high of a standard.
If men differ from the standard of what society thinks of them, there are assumptions immediately made against them.
Also, there is all of society's norms about dating. The guy is expected to pursue, pay for the dates, and initiate the woman. In many cases if men feel insecure or not calm in social situations other people assume that there must be something wrong with that guy. Guys also have to be strong when a relationship ends, and can't show any emotion. I think the phrase "take it like a man" kind of sums up this whole topic the best. Men are held to emotional standards higher than women are. Its okay if a woman shows too much emotion in a situation, it can be written off, but a guy is supposed to enter and exit a situation sans emotion, and bottle up everything else.
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Even though I am not a male I still have strong opinions and views on the question in the video. I have enough guy friends to know that although some of them strive to have the perfect muscular body, most of them do not feel the need to conform to society in the same way that women do. Women are constantly striving to get the perfect body and to make themselves as attractive and desirable as they can. Men, on the other hand, don't care that much about their appearance at least not to the extent that women do. Of course, there will always be that number of men who are obsessed with going to the gym and getting as muscular and buff as they possibly can but to my knowledge most men don't strive that much to get the perfect body. I mean let's think about this logistically, for the most part the majority of humans who have eating disorders are women. I am not saying that no men out there in the world have eating disorders because that would just be completely foolish to think. However, it is well known that for the most part the individuals who have such problems like eating disorders tend to be females. I think it is safe to say that women feel more of a pressure to conform to what society thinks is beautiful and attractive than men do. I also think that even though women compare themselves a lot to other women, men are also responsible for how much women feel they need to conform to society's image because men often judge women and critique them on a daily basis. I can't even count how many times I've sat in front of guys in class or have passed them on the street and have overheard comments they were making about other girls they were looking at. It seems that guys are always judging girls and comparing them to other ones that they know or that they see at that time. Meanwhile, most girls that I know don't sit there and judge guys to the extent that guys do to girls. I'm not saying girls never talk about guys that they think are attractive or stuff like that because of course we do, however, for the most part I have overheard guys judge girls and talk about girls way more often than girls talk about guys. This is, in part, why I feel that guys don't feel such a need to conform to society because they are not being judged or critiqued as much as girls are. I think that is just the way that we have grown up in society and although I wish women weren’t judged so much on physical appearance I don’t think it’s ever going to change.
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In America we are under the belief that we are all free and everyone is equal. This is wrong and is pretty evident throughout society. First off, black and white people are not equal because of white superiority, which traces back to the times of slavery. This is portrayed in jobs, housing and education. In most situations whites have the better jobs, live in the better areas and have the better education to be able to own all of this. Men and women, even though are not a race, can be compared to this concept. Inequality between men and women dates back to the time before Jesus. I am catholic so my God is a man and in the bible we believe that God made Adam first, who is also a man.
Men were created first and this gives them the upper hand in a lot. Also, in some countries such as Europe men always controlled the women and told them what to do. Women were subordinate to them and did as they were told. In some Latin countries today this is still evident. For example, in Dominican Republic it is the women who cook, clean and care for the house. They are not supposed to do hard labor or have an “important” job. Their role is to care for the house, the children and of course the men. The typical job that they would have outside the house would be a beauty salon or working at a grocery store, which their husband owns.
In society today women are always trying to improve themselves to live up and beyond the male standards. We are highly influenced by the media especially with the “perfect” appearance and looking appealing for men. In the work place we always have to look presentable with our hair done, nails done and that tight fitting work suit. What is this all for? T he real answer is to be better than the men. It also goes back to the slogan that “what you can do, Women can do better.” The reason why men do not conform to society, as much to a degree as women do is because they already have the upper hand. They do not need to change much about themselves to be better than women because in society’s eyes they already are better. Men are the ones who are the doctors, lawyers, engineers or accountants. They are the ones who buy the large houses and the cars. It is true that women are beginning to move up in this world, but the pace is very slow.
Men change or alter their appearance, not to conform to society but to compete with other men in society. Males are very competitive and do anything to look better than the other male. They buy the better clothes; they go to the gym and brag about pointless things. Sadly, women are one of those important things, but it all has to do with competition. Men do not conform to society, but compete within society.
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Men do have to conform to a certain image, just like women do. Not to the extent that woman have too, but almost. Men see athletes, actors, bodybuilders etc… and want to look like them. If they dont look like those select few groups of people, they don't get depressed as much as a woman does when she doesn't look like the way she wants. In other words, looks are important to a man but it isn't as important as it is to females. It is a mans world and sadly women are viewed as objects for men. Men are more valued for their knowledge, reputation, skills, and other things they have to offer besides their physical features. It's because women aren't only interested in looks when looking for a man, when you flip the script, men are very interested in looks and put other things aside when looking for women.
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I feel that now more then ever men are conforming to societal views of what the perfect man should be. Men now a days use the term “metro sexual” and it is not an insult. Men are not looked down on for getting manicures and pedicures and going tanning. I personally like how men care more now because women are not the only ones who are trying to impress the opposite sex, or the same sex. Women now wait around while men are getting ready. There are still men who do not care but as well there are women who do not care about their appearance either. I feel that this equals out the playing field, and everybody should try to look the best they could. Everybody wants to fit in and be told that they are attractive. In our society where everybody is judged upon their looks men now feel the pressure as much as women do.
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Looking through most of the comments above about the question asked about men, I can't help but agree with the majority of my peers who say men conform just as much as women in today's society. We feel the same way as women do when it comes to fitting in. Feeling accepted is not really a gender issue or a race issue or an issue that relates to any specific type of person. It is a matter of self-esteem and self-confidence. People want to fit in and they want to be apart of the group, whether you are a guy or girl. For girls, it just appears that they want to conform because companies target this. They use stick thin, super model types in all of their commercials and they sell their products to girls in order to look like these women. But doesn't the same thing apply to men? Don't companies like Gilette and Axe use guys who are models and flawless in their commercials to convince normal looking, average joe's to purchase their products to look like them. They do. It happens to both men and women. I think the major difference between the two are that girls are more likely to admit another girl is attractive and say they want to look like that. Not many guys are comfortable enough to say another guy is good looking and that they wish they appeared like that. That is why I think we always assume it's just girls who want to conform to these images and not men too. I think this reason goes full circle and I think the reason behind it is conformity too. As easy as it is to spot a good looking girl, it is just as easy to spot a guy who is good looking. However, most guys won't admit another guy is good looking or that they want to look like them because other guys don't do this and it is not manly to do this.
But in all reality, guys crave to conform to society's standards. Why do you think you see so many guys in the gym lifting weights? Why do you see so many guys drinking protein and using weight gain supplements? Guys do all these sorts of things because society expects us to look like this and be fit and athletic looking. This is why so many guys try to dress a certain way and work out. So long story short, it's not just girls who feel the need to conform to society's image of perfection. Boys do the same exact thing. We secretly want to look like Brad Pitt just as much as you wish you looked like Angeline Jolie.
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I definitely think men face the same things women do when compared to what society’s saying. I do think women have it a little bit harder, maybe that’s because I am a woman, but I think men also face the same things and have that idea that they need to look or act a certain way. I never really thought of it until now because this topic is usually about women. I asked a couple of my guy friends how they felt and they definitely all agreed and said that they feel like they need to conform to what society wants them to. Fitting in is something that everyone wants to accomplish. It’s just part of human nature to want to be like everyone else and not be the odd one out. The media definitely has had a major affect on what is “normal” and what is not. Women especially face this problem. Just go to a grocery store and go to the magazine isle. There are hundreds of magazines with skinny, tall, fit women. Of course when an average woman sees this they are going to critique themselves and feel some sort of way about it. Celebrities are a big factor too. Actors and actresses do come in all shapes and sizes but most of them are very thin and are very similar with their bodies. Modeling is another thing that’s horrible for the perception of the woman’s body. How is it that the anorexic skinny look looks good in their eyes? This just makes young girls and women strive to be like that which affects health amoung a number of different things. Men definitely have this to battle with too. I don’t think it’s as strong as women though. In ads and movies, most of the men that win over women’s hearts are the handsome, tall, built men. We see it over and over again. Of course there are going to be exceptions, but for the most part that is what we see. I think men do a good job at covering up ther insecuriteis more than women can though. This helps with the idea that maybe men don’t go through these emotions and insecurities. The desire to fit in is pretty much inevitable and probably will never go away no matter what anyone tries to change. I think the thing is with this, no matter men or women, people need to just accept who they are. No one is perfect, everyone has a flaw or something they do not like about themselves. That’s what makes us all human. When people stop worrying about their weight, or height, or hair color, or anything like that, then the people in the media will not matter.
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Do men feel pressure to look good? obviously we do, just like women. Its a little different for men however. Men do run the world, and one of their main interests is women. Woman on the other hand, feel as though they must look a certain way so that men will be interested in them. Its just one of many double standards that women face and that men will never be able to understand.
I think it is pretty well known that men are very interested in looks when searching for a female partner. I think most men (or almost all) would say that looks are the most important thing when they search for a female. Of course men care about the girls personality but i think that is a secondary thing, at least until you are seriously considering marriage. Women on the other hand are a little different. Of course, women care about a man's physical appearance, but not nearly as much as men do. Women are enamored with a man's sense of humor, kindness, selflessness, honesty, intelligence, manners, sensitivity, sincerity, affection, consideration, thoughtfulness, etc… the list goes on and on. Looks are much more important for a man than for a woman.
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I totally think that men feel the pressure to conform to what society establishes as the norm in our generation or any generation. Whether it is wearing baggie clothes or leisure suits men have always been dressing with society just as much as women have. Even though men may have an easier time covering up a non perfect body, they still feel the pressure to look good and feel good about themselves. If they didn’t, there wouldn’t be tons of men at the gym all the top checking themselves out in the mirrors and attempting to make themselves bulk up to please other people with their appearance.
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Yes I do believe that guys have to conform to society to the degree that woman do. While most people look at woman and just assume they are conforming because they are trying to act like the woman in magazines and television men have the same problem. Men try just as hard as woman to fit in. They try and wear the same clothes as the people they see on television and they go to the gym and try to get the same body and shape as the people that are in magazines. So while many people don’t seem to believe that guys conform to society as much as woman, I believe that they do.
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I believe every man has his standards, just like every woman has their standards when it comes to a partner. Now, me personally in terms of dating, I have a "drearm body" just like anyone else. However, I don't strictly dictate my choice in women by "dream body" shape – personality also plays a big part for me. Like everyone else, I do have a minimum in terms of body build. For instance, I have between a small and medium build when it come it body shape, so I expect the same from a woman (for dating purposes only). Aside from dating purposes, as long as I really enjoy their personality, body shape doesn't mean anything. If someone was to look at some of my friends whom are women (friends only), they could tell body size is not an issue – they have good personalities and I get along with them really well.
For dating purposes, I do one have one physical characteristic that is necessary – which I will relay over the race relations project website. Like I said before, I don't discriminate women in terms of body shape, personality and if we share a lot of things in common are also a neccesity.
In terms of body shape, I believe women are biggest criticizers when it comes to judging other women. I mean seriously, this can be seen in class. As soon a woman walk down the stairs wearing something even a tight or slighty revealing, another woman is giving them a stare like "who does that bitch think she is," "I'd look so much better in that she does," or "what a whore." If anything, I feel like women should be more concerned with other women in terms judgement – not men so much. So overall, I have to agree with the girls in class who share the same opinion.
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Why would men be exempt from feeling like they have to conform to society's expectations? I think their expectations might be slightly healthier than what is expected from women, but of course they still have the weight of fitting in on their shoulders. Women might aim to be thinner than necessary or have to try harder to look presentable, they could have but men do too. They are expected to have defined, muscular bodies and high paying jobs. They think the way to be “cool” is to drive nice cars and buy expensive stuff but obviously that’s a pretty high expectation to live up to. Yeah, men definitely have it as tough as women do.
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Men have to conform to society in a few certain ways, but not nearly in as many ways as much as women do. I feel the main reason that people have to conform is because they feel they need to be perceived as the norm. The norm is set by whats on television, whats in the movie theaters, whats on magazine covers, and etc. The women that are on all of these outlets are mainly women in show business, who are beautiful and have tremendous bodies, exemplifying the word perfect. Perfect face structure, perfect eyes, perfect smile, perfect chest, legs, everything. Guys on the other hand have more of a variety when it comes to this. Sure, there are good looking guys that are being showcased in the media, but there are all different kinds of guys. Fat guys, really skinny guys, weird looking guys, old guys, and so on. Its a big difference trying to look like Megan Fox then trying to look like Seth Rogen. This is one of the main reasons that men don't have to conform as much as women do.
Another reason is that men are rarely asked to change their image or appearance. Growing up I would throw whatever clothes on, leave my hair the same way it was when I woke up, and start my day. Sure, I would get dressed up for weekends and what not but for most of the week it was just a different pair of sweatpants and a different random tee. Girls are always judged by what brand their wearing, how the colors match, do the shoes go with the outfit, and all of that. They are constantly reminded of this by other girls who are also wearing just as expensive clothes with expensive shoes, and they constantly strive to look better then each other. Guys on the other hand don't take much notice to what other guys are wearing unless its something really nice or something really dirty.
It's just built into the female system to care more about what other people think about them in regards to their looks and appearance. Body issues are always prevalent whether it be face, chest, or lower body. They are constantly reminded of this by girls showing off their cleavage, wearing the shortest skirts, and so on.
The only thing that men somewhat conform to is athletics. Its always embedded into a young boys way of thinking that he should be involved in sports. Thats why certain guys are always looked at as weird if they choose to sing or dance at a young age instead of playing basketball or baseball. You always want to go over to a guys place and watch the game, and not a soap opera. Other then that I can't see many other things that guys are forced to conform too.
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Men have to conform to society in a few certain ways, but not nearly in as many ways as much as women do. I feel the main reason that people have to conform is because they feel they need to be perceived as the norm. The norm is set by whats on television, whats in the movie theaters, whats on magazine covers, and etc. The women that are on all of these outlets are mainly women in show business, who are beautiful and have tremendous bodies, exemplifying the word perfect. Perfect face structure, perfect eyes, perfect smile, perfect chest, legs, everything. Guys on the other hand have more of a variety when it comes to this. Sure, there are good looking guys that are being showcased in the media, but there are all different kinds of guys. Fat guys, really skinny guys, weird looking guys, old guys, and so on. Its a big difference trying to look like Megan Fox then trying to look like Seth Rogen. This is one of the main reasons that men don't have to conform as much as women do.
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As a guy with just as many female friends as male friends, I can say with absolutely certainty that girls care way more about fitting in with the "norm" than guys–although we do care to an extent. It takes the average girl an hour to get ready to go out. I don't even know how many outfit changes I have seen the same girl do in the matter of ten minutes, whereas I wear whatever I wore to class that morning when I go out. I mean I can't blame a girl when I see this going on, because every other girl is doing it too, so she has to keep par and look equally as nice when she hits the dance floor at the frat she's going to. It's a problem that has clearly spiraled out of control in recent years–females needing to look better than every other girl when going out.
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To address the fact that guys conform somewhat to what society portrays as the “norm,” we do to a slight extent. Just as girls diet to look thin, guys lift weights to look muscular. We’re all guilty of going to the gym to look good. This is certainly a type of conformity. I read a reply earlier stating that guys all dress the same in an effort to conform. I would argue that this is more of a cultural thing than a conformity thing. Most guys wear jeans and a hoody/t-shirt on a daily basis. I mean all guys do it, but what else are we going to wear? That is what is comfortable to me, and I’m not going to go out of my way to be different.
Another similarity between guys and girls on this topic is how we show off our “physiques.” Girls walk around campus with revealing tank tops and shorts that are about four inches in height in order to get guys to look their direction. But likewise, for every girl there is wearing this outfit, there’s a guy in a sleeveless shirt strolling around campus trying to show off his body at the same time. It’s just seen differently when girls do it as opposed to guys.
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When I’m hanging out with my guy friends on a weekend, we just do whatever we want to have fun. We don’t really care what other people think about us, we just go out to whatever party we’re going to that night and hang out and have a good time. When I’m hanging out with my female friends, however, it’s a completely different story. Before we leave, they need to know who all is at the party, because “oh my god if Joe is there I have to change my outfit first.” I’ve been around it more than I would like to, and it’s so obvious that girls play mind games when it comes to how they look. It’s more complex that my organic chemistry class. So from experience, girls are way guiltier of this, although guys should take some of the blame.
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As a male I really feel no urge to conform to society’s norms. I really feel like the difference between guys and girls is that guys really just do not care about what other people think. Generally speaking, girls just care way too much what other people think. They also get so embarrassed over the smallest most insignificant events. It’s really a shame that this is the case, because girls would be much more fun if they approached life like guys. If they had the “I don’t give a shit attitude” that guys live their life by, the world would be a much better place. Girls care way too much about their social standing and what other people think of them. I think it would be extremely interesting to actually see how they would act and by interesting I mean hilarious. Every environment would just be more fun if girls just didn’t care. No one likes uptight people because they just ruin everyone’s time. I think uptight people, girls and guys, are the people that feel the need to conform to the norms of today’s world. Don’t get me wrong I like when girls get all done up and look great, but I really feel that sometimes they do it for the wrong reasons. In class on Tuesday, I was really disappointed to hear that some girls dress up and try and look hot so they can be hotter than the next girl rather than just trying to look good for their own self respect. I know that on a night when I go out I try and look clean cut and put together so I can look my personal best, not cause I’m comparing myself to the other guys out there. I really do not know why girls feel the need to make such a big deal about conforming to societies norms, but I wish I did so I could talk to them about it. I would give them some great advice about how they shouldn’t care at all and just live their life. All the time the spent worrying about what other girls looked like and trying to be hotter than the next girl could be spent in a more efficient way once I finished talking to them. Many times, these girls spend more time worrying about how they look when they could be worrying about more important things. What happens if the girls worry more about what they look like compared to what they think of themselves? What happens to these girls self esteems? As a guy, when I make a decision on a girl, whether consciously or subconsciously, my decision it usually based on how they treat themselves and the people around them. If a girl takes the time to ‘make themselves up,’ but at the same times is a jerk to the people around them, their demeanor usually deters me and other guys from approaching them. It is much more becoming for a girl to act and dress the way they want then the way their friends and peers decide they should. I’d rather date a girl who takes pride in her personality and appearance then a girl who takes pride in her appearance and social status. It is more enjoyable and easier for a guys to talk to a girl who prides herself in personality than it is for a girl who focuses on her appearance. And to be honest, it is often ‘sexier’ for a girl to wear whatever she feels comfortable in, but at the same time can hold an interesting conversation.
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Men have to conform to society in a few certain ways, but not nearly in as many ways as much as women do. I feel the main reason that people have to conform is because they feel they need to be perceived as the norm. The norm is set by whats on television, whats in the movie theaters, whats on magazine covers, and etc. The women that are on all of these outlets are mainly women in show business, who are beautiful and have tremendous bodies, exemplifying the word perfect. Perfect face structure, perfect eyes, perfect smile, perfect chest, legs, everything. Guys on the other hand have more of a variety when it comes to this. Sure, there are good looking guys that are being showcased in the media, but there are all different kinds of guys. Fat guys, really skinny guys, weird looking guys, old guys, and so on. Its a big difference trying to look like Megan Fox then trying to look like Seth Rogen. This is one of the main reasons that men don't have to conform as much as women do.
Another reason is that men are rarely asked to change their image or appearance. Growing up I would throw whatever clothes on, leave my hair the same way it was when I woke up, and start my day. Sure, I would get dressed up for weekends and what not but for most of the week it was just a different pair of sweatpants and a different random tee. Girls are always judged by what brand their wearing, how the colors match, do the shoes go with the outfit, and all of that. They are constantly reminded of this by other girls who are also wearing just as expensive clothes with expensive shoes, and they constantly strive to look better then each other. Guys on the other hand don't take much notice to what other guys are wearing unless its something really nice or something really dirty.
It's just built into the female system to care more about what other people think about them in regards to their looks and appearance. Body issues are always prevalent whether it be face, chest, or lower body. They are constantly reminded of this by girls showing off their cleavage, wearing the shortest skirts, and so on.
The only thing that men somewhat conform to is athletics. Its always embedded into a young boys way of thinking that he should be involved in sports. Thats why certain guys are always looked at as weird if they choose to sing or dance at a young age instead of playing basketball or baseball. You always want to go over to a guys place and watch the game, and not a soap opera. Other then that I can't see many other things that guys are forced to conform too.
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I think that men have to conform to society just as much as women do, although the pressure is not as publicized as it is for women. Men are also bombarded with advertisements and role models who are physically fit and attractive. There are a countless number of workout/body enhancement products out on the market that cater to this need. Men can shrug it off as trying to ‘be fit’, but in reality they are just trying to fit in with what is portrayed as the ideal man in society.
Magazines and television are constantly displaying pieces detailing the most eligible bachelor, or sexiest man in America. I think we are exposed to the same amount of pressure that women are. We may not have to use makeup but there are other comparables, such as physical physique, skin conditions, etc.
I can say as a gay male, the pressure is held to an even higher standard. I am constantly judged by peers and friends on how I act, walk, talk, dress … everything you can imagine. After all is said and done, it’s really hard to not think you have to walk around like you’re on some type of pedestal for the world to see. There is a reason people think gay men are so pretentious. Then we have to envy the models and movie stars just like everyone else, trying to have their abs or their hair. You have to make the best with what you have and be proud about yourself.
No one wants to be the average Joe that is displayed on TV because it is seen as unattractive. Who would want to be friends with someone who had a receeding hairline, beer-gut, and bad skin? We can sit here and say that beauty lies within but when it really comes down to it, that’s just an idealistic thought. You’re not going to bump into that average Joe at Starbucks and want to flirt or start up a conversation with him. That’s not what is seen as attractive. But if that average Joe suddenly had long locks of hair, a ripped physique, and gorgeous tanned skin, you would be bending over backwards trying to check him out.
The standards of beauty for women may be more publicized, but I truly think men have it just as hard, and are not willing to talk about it. Men have their pride and dignity first, and as it has become apparent through history, a man who shows his emotions or feelings is seen as feminine or below his peers. We have this glass floor set before us that really prohibits an amazing and awesome exchange of ideas and attitudes between peers.
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Of course we do. No one wants to not fit in. Men conform to the societal norm just as women do. However, I think the standard for a man is far less stringent than that of a woman. That’s why I feel many women don’t think men conform, but in all honesty we do, we just do it subtly. Look at any prominent male figure in today’s society. Tall, dark, handsome, and lets not forget ripped. Men are very self-conscious. We just don’t go around talking about it with our friends. And fortunately for us, society doesn’t require us to show off these assets on a daily basis, unlike the norm for women. You don’t see to many men coming to class with no shirt on, do you? Clothing for women has basically turned into a display case for men to feast their eyes on. For some reason society says naked women are ok, but men best be fully clothed.
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I think all men on one level or another feel the need to conform to society the way women do. I mean we’re all not shooting to be a Mr. mom, in fact men have always aimed and set their goals to support a family. I mean some of us have a hard time putting on weight while others have a hard time losing it, depending on where you are guys who are looking to look like the way society would like to see them we train and run and play and lift. We try to mold ourselves the way women try to mold themselves to be the perfect image one way or another
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C’mon, do I ever feel like I have to conform to what the social world expects from men? If you mean do I ever feel like I should be awesome because all men should be awesome than yes, I do feel the need to conform. But the awesome thing about awesomeness is that I can be awesome no matter what I do as long as it is awesome, which it is. If I want to look good I just got to throw on my stunnas, my basketball jersey and my bball shorts. If I want to do something awesome I just got to drink my brains out. If I want to sleep somewhere awesome, I just choose the most awesome part of the floor. So in truth, the only pressure I feel, is the pressure to succeed. And the pressure to succeed means nothing because college is all that matters in life. So much sarcasm in this post I just needed to make that official.
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Men have to conform to society in a few certain ways, but not nearly in as many ways as much as women do. I feel the main reason that people have to conform is because they feel they need to be perceived as the norm. The norm is set by whats on television, whats in the movie theaters, whats on magazine covers, and etc. The women that are on all of these outlets are mainly women in show business, who are beautiful and have tremendous bodies, exemplifying the word perfect. Perfect face structure, perfect eyes, perfect smile, perfect chest, legs, everything. Guys on the other hand have more of a variety when it comes to this. Sure, there are good looking guys that are being showcased in the media, but there are all different kinds of guys. Fat guys, really skinny guys, weird looking guys, old guys, and so on. Its a big difference trying to look like Megan Fox then trying to look like Seth Rogen. This is one of the main reasons that men don't have to conform as much as women do.
Another reason is that men are rarely asked to change their image or appearance. Growing up I would throw whatever clothes on, leave my hair the same way it was when I woke up, and start my day. Sure, I would get dressed up for weekends and what not but for most of the week it was just a different pair of sweatpants and a different random tee. Girls are always judged by what brand their wearing, how the colors match, do the shoes go with the outfit, and all of that. They are constantly reminded of this by other girls who are also wearing just as expensive clothes with expensive shoes, and they constantly strive to look better then each other. Guys on the other hand don't take much notice to what other guys are wearing unless its something really nice or something really dirty.
It's just built into the female system to care more about what other people think about them in regards to their looks and appearance. Body issues are always prevalent whether it be face, chest, or lower body. They are constantly reminded of this by girls showing off their cleavage, wearing the shortest skirts, and so on.
The only thing that men somewhat conform to is athletics. Its always embedded into a young boys way of thinking that he should be involved in sports. Thats why certain guys are always looked at as weird if they choose to sing or dance at a young age instead of playing basketball or baseball. You always want to go over to a guys place and watch the game, and not a soap opera. Other then that I can't see many other things that guys are forced to conform too.
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Men have to conform to society in a few certain ways, but not nearly in as many ways as much as women do. I feel the main reason that people have to conform is because they feel they need to be perceived as the norm. The norm is set by whats on television, whats in the movie theaters, whats on magazine covers, and etc. The women that are on all of these outlets are mainly women in show business, who are beautiful and have tremendous bodies, exemplifying the word perfect. Perfect face structure, perfect eyes, perfect smile, perfect chest, legs, everything. Guys on the other hand have more of a variety when it comes to this. Sure, there are good looking guys that are being showcased in the media, but there are all different kinds of guys. Fat guys, really skinny guys, weird looking guys, old guys, and so on. Its a big difference trying to look like Megan Fox then trying to look like Seth Rogen. This is one of the main reasons that men don't have to conform as much as women do.
Another reason is that men are rarely asked to change their image or appearance. Growing up I would throw whatever clothes on, leave my hair the same way it was when I woke up, and start my day. Sure, I would get dressed up for weekends and what not but for most of the week it was just a different pair of sweatpants and a different random tee. Girls are always judged by what brand their wearing, how the colors match, do the shoes go with the outfit, and all of that. They are constantly reminded of this by other girls who are also wearing just as expensive clothes with expensive shoes, and they constantly strive to look better then each other. Guys on the other hand don't take much notice to what other guys are wearing unless its something really nice or something really dirty.
It's just built into the female system to care more about what other people think about them in regards to their looks and appearance. Body issues are always prevalent whether it be face, chest, or lower body. They are constantly reminded of this by girls showing off their cleavage, wearing the shortest skirts, and so on.
The only thing that men somewhat conform to is athletics. Its always embedded into a young boys way of thinking that he should be involved in sports. Thats why certain guys are always looked at as weird if they choose to sing or dance at a young age instead of playing basketball or baseball. You always want to go over to a guys place and watch the game, and not a soap opera. Other then that I can't see many other things that guys are forced to conform too.
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As a male I believe there isn’t a lot of force to conform to society. However, when I actually sit down and think about it, I believe there are a lot of natural or unconscious decisions to conform to society. I played football in high school so I always hung out with my football buddies and we would always do similar things such as watch the games and go out to eat and just kind of chill around town however it never really was conforming to society it is more like conforming to your group of friends. I believe it is very similar with females. I have met several females ranging in a vast array of characteristics. I don’t believe it is society that shapes us but the actual people we hang out with.
Maybe this question isn’t as much what shapes us personality wise but the things we do. There are just certain things that certain genders do and if you do the opposite society frowns upon it I honestly disagree with this but it’s the way people treat it. There are things that are considered to be “feminine” so girls in the field are accepted by society but guys are looked at as “gay” even if they are not. This is where I believe we have a larger problem then what we wear because honestly girls wear what they wear so guys notice them. If their friends all wore clothing that did cover them up more guys would still find their way to them and they wouldn’t be conforming to society as we say they do. Women just believe that they have to do certain things and dress certain ways but the fact is most guys really just don’t care. We all, us guys, conform some such as we don’t wear sweat pants out to parties we usually wear jeans and a nice shirt or polo. It’s just girls at parties don’t only wear jeans and a nice top but they have to go out and get new dresses and never can wear the same one twice. I’m not sure why most girls are like that or even a lot of guys have to wear brand new clothing or a certain brand. I honestly believe it’s a status that we all hold each other to.
People get so caught up in their “status” such as their group, culture, race, class, and many other categories that we have to conform to which ever means most to us. The problem is more of us need to conform to ourselves. I don’t think it’s a sex thing I think its humanity. We notice it more with girls and girls admit to it guys seem to do it more unconsciously but if you ask them why they actually are doing something or wearing something and they actually think about it is what means most to them.
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For once I find a topic that I actually don’t have to think hard about answering. When it comes to society and its views of fashionable and “relevant” most seem to think that it is all based on the viewer’s opinion and what they see as attractive. But the truth of the matter is that there are a very small percentage of people in the United States who don’t look to the media to determine what they do in their personal lives. The media is what builds a society. From music, magazines, and movies, to the commercials, infomercials, and programs on the television, all of these modes of media all play a part in molding and creating the communities we live in. I also believe that the main audiences for these media outlets are between the ages of 13-18, the adolescents of our societies. These adolescents then grow up to become the next college generation, where again, we are even more effected by the media. So when the question arises, if men are affected as much as women by the media, the answer is plain and simple. Yes. The media’s purpose has, and always will be to “affect” the masses. They want us to do what they want us to do, they want us to wear what they want us to wear, so what would be the purpose of just focusing on women? The reason why society seems to focus on women being the main bitch of the media is that women are the primary consumer, however men on a daily basis see things in the media that affect in the same way women are affected. When women see a half naked swim suit model with her ribs showing with huge boobs they think that that’s what the norm should be and that’s what they need to look like to fit in, or better yet, stand out. Men do the same thing when they see the cover of Men’s Health Magazine. They wonder how the men get that ripped, what they need to do to be that ripped, why do those men get more women than me, etc. Men aren’t in the gym usually for themselves, there in the gym because they are trying to conform to society’s view of perfection set by the media over the years. I know I probably sound like a radical political supremacist of something but this is what I see as the truth. The main reason I think this to be true has to do with the amount of men and women around the world that starve themselves and work themselves raggid trying to conform to what they see on tv or in a magazine. It’s foolish and unhealthy, and the day we allow ourselves to love us for who we are and not try to go with what the media portrays as great, then we’ll be fine.
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I do understand that women feel obligated to conform in society. A lot of pressure is placed on them to look their best. I constantly see girls watching what they eat and exercising to the point that they pass out. Even worse is on the weekend when you see girls going to parties dressing in an outfit that has less material than a shoelace. I understand that they want to attract guys, but they need to leave a little to the imagination. Girls conform constantly, but they are much more open about it. They let the world know how hard it is to fit into their pants or get the right tan. They care too much about what other people think, but they’re not the only ones.
Guys always care about their image. I personally don’t take five hours in the morning to pick out my outfit for the day. I usually grab whatever shirt is on top, but I definitely care about how I look. I spend usually 4 days at the gym a week and try to eat healthy as much as I can. I like to look my best and have my body in good shape. If you ever step into the gym, the majority people there are self-conscious about their image. Why do you think guys take steroids? They want to impress everyone they see. When you look like you’re about to rip out of your shirt, a sort of unspoken respect is received. It’s nice to get a double take from someone walking down the street because you just finished a workout. Guys don’t want to mess with other guys that are bigger than them and girls are attracted to guys with a good body. Guys definitely want to look good because if they have the roll out of bed look, no girl is going to go for him. Anytime you go to a night club, every guy there is trying to score with the hottest chick in there. Everyone knows that the best looking guy will get that. So in a way it’s sort of a competition between other guys to see who can get the best girl.
Over the past fifty years, guys have been becoming more self-conscious about their image. The term “metro sexual” is being used more now. Guys will go shopping in hopes of looking their best. I’m personally not a fan of shopping, but I don’t wear a Nike shirt out to a party. I take pride in looking my best and try to keep up with my grooming whether it’s doing my hair or a couple sprays of cologne. Guys may not show it, but deep down we care about our image too.
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As a man( which meaning myself) I honestly believe that some men do exactly the same thing as women do but just in a different manner. As a women the most attractive women are the more skinny and petite females. Well honestly that isn't true but that is beside the point. Men want to or at least most of them want to be the more masculine and buffer type male, but in other instances men also want to be your so called pretty boy type of male. So I honestly believe society plays a big role on how men present themselves. For example , in class 3 females presented a ten minute skit about how girls are pressured to be this barbie figure individual person. Men are suppose to have nice bodies and rock beach abs. So men are pressured to do things such as steroids, not saying that I would take them, but many men do to look like a ken doll for the ladies.
So to answer your question do men have it as bad as women yes in certain instances. But the differences is the women media physic is being protrayed I believe twice as much as males. Even in beer commercials, women are always so lean and fit looking like models 99.9 percent of the time. And men are often times drinking the beer with beer bellies sitting on the coach watching ESPN. That to society is often times excepted and no one really cares about the beer belly, But if a women had a beer belly it would be looked as a terriable image and people wouldn't even attempt to buy that brand of beer. So like i was saying yes men deal with the same problems and influential media pressure as women do on a day to day basis , but I believe women deal with it twice as much and if not that triple as much. We all live in a world that is so depended on looks and popularity that we often forget the to look at the person for who or what they really are and bring to the table. Its a tough society to live in, but honestly I believe if you are skinny, fat, small, tall, ugly or gorgeous to a magazine cover artist6 or whatever there is something about you that will make you more beatiful then the super model that rips the run way with her petite figure. You just have to know what you bring to the table . To be noticed is just to be yourself, not to try and look like the next person because that is what you were born to look the same as everyone else we wouldn,t have these problems. A real man wants a real women not a pretty face they come a dime a dozen.
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What about men? Men are just the same as women except the different body types and how the body is form. Although we handle situations different than some females would, I honestly believed that were easily influenced by culture as well as them. Matter fact scratch that statement I’ve just made. Everyone is influenced by the media in some way. When growing up as a youngster you can’t tell me that one did not look up to a famous person or leading actor and wanted to be like them. I know I did and still have dreams of becoming or being better than a certain person.
Today in economy class, my professor was giving a speech about monopoly and how diamonds have a huge affect on love. You know when seeing a commercial about diamonds it’s usually the soul mate giving it to the other portraying how they feel about that certain person. Well in that class he was telling us and showing us clips of how the media basically says the best gift showing love is giving a diamond. So our professor told us that he asked his wife what she wanted for their twenty fifth anniversary. It happens to be a diamond ring, so he told her does she want a perfect diamond or a unique diamond. The difference is that a perfect diamond is shaped up and is not rare and unique diamond meaning only you have that certain kind and it cost thousands of dollars more. She didn’t know so she picks the perfect diamond. He told her the difference and she picks the unique diamond. So he asked the boys in the class, if the media portrayed copper as big as they do diamonds and diamonds was falling under the radar, what would we choose to buy? About all of us said copper and one answered copper because “monkey see, monkey do, and you would be stupid not to chase after what monkey like”. Showing that whatever the media or society is boasting about. You will see a huge drift in how we human beings will start to focus more on things like that. Myself is a victim of doing this as well. I want all the fancy things that I see on TV and you can’t blame me for not wanting them. They are kind of establishing your social norm in society. Showing how long your money is rappers would say.
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I believe that some men do try to conform to what society perceives them to be. From the way they dress to the way they talk and even to the way they may treat women. In the African American society men who are mostly popular and the society I grew up in are always rappers or basketball players. I know too many black men that aspire to be rappers and basketball players without even thinking of getting the right education first. Even when it comes to the way they dress most of the fashion trends start with celebrities and then young men start to try and dress like this. I remember when I was growing up back in the Bronx guys caring about “being fresh” (having the brand name clothes). It had to be Jordan’s, Gucci’s and Prada’s on their feet. I think the only difference between the way men let society/media affect and the way women do is that women take it more serious because they want to be “beautiful and more accepted”
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I think that in some ways men are forced to conform to societal rules and social constructs but perhaps in their younger years and they may not be as vocal about the necessity to conform later. It may seem dated and overplayed but still the conception that boys don’t cry is alive and well in society today. Although there may be more men than before who do not apply to this “rule” I think it is still prevalent. Also, I think that as young men enter into the social scene where they may feel the need to conform, they do so in more subtle ways than young women so perhaps it becomes less noticeable. Also, from the boy don’t cry, or emote in general, there is the sense that it is not necessary for them to make their transformations to fit the in crowd publically known.
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