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2110148 Responseshttp://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/what-about-the-men/What+about+the+men%3F2010-04-14+12%3A58%3A43Sam+Richards to What about the men?
I think that most guys feel like they need to fit in, at least a little bit, however for the most part I don't think we feel quite the same pressure as women. This is rather unfortunate and makes me rather angry-not that I wish men like myself felt more pressure, but that women face an unbelievable amount of scrutiny in their daily lives.
I was discussing after class with a female friend of mine how angry it made me to hear the people in class talking about dressing for guys, and feeling like they have to look good for men (or whoever they want to look good for). I certainly don't dress like a slob every day, but I also don't spend 10 minutes picking out my outfit. It's the same way with makeup for women, If women really do wear makeup only because they think they really need it, then that is ridiculous. Women shouldn't feel like they have to cover up their natural selves to look "ideal" or what they feel like is pretty. This is something that I particularly feel passionate about. That said, some women I know wear makeup because its fun or because they like to, and not because they feel they have to-I have absolutely no problem with that.
The one thing I do feel pressure about as a man is having a six-pack and sometimes also the fact I wear glasses. If you've seen me, its pretty obvious I don't have anything close to chiseled abs. That is pretty much the only thing I feel insecure about, and the thing I feel like is emphasized most by the media or more powerful men in the public view as being essential for the ideal man. In general, guys are expected to be strong, into sports, and in control of their emotions without showing them too often.
For instance, I love sports a lot, but am also very involved in music here at Penn State, so I am sometimes seen as not an ideal man. I also enjoy musical theatre, which is seen as more of a feminine trait. The picture of an ideal man in society doesn't allow for a man who loves sports, music, and musical theatre, so I am not exactly overly desired.
Watching the videos and reading the stories you hear about women doing crazy things to fit in proves that women have more pressure to fit into whatever society deems as the ideal woman; however men clearly go through similar pressures and that fact should not be forgotten. The one thing I will say is I don't think guys compare themselves to other guys nearly as often as girls do, but they do it occasionally. As long as the guy gets a girl, it doesn't matter as much to him how good the other guys look.
Well, I’m a guy so I feel like this is a pretty good question for me to answer. To start, I think my answer would have to be no, I don’t feel that guys feel the same need to conform to society’s pressures as women do. A lot of people say that our society is dominated by men, and my guess would be that that has something to do with it.
From class, a few of the girls who spoke gave me the impression that they did feel the need to dress in certain ways so that they were accepted by men, women, and society. I think that there are some of the same types of pressures for men in a way. However, I think that these pressures kind of apply differently to men. For instance, I’ll start by saying that guys do think about what they’re wearing when they go out. They don’t just throw on the first thing they see and accept it – however, guys probably don’t feel the need to think about what they are wearing quite as much as girls do. I myself only think about two or three things when I’m dressing to go out at night. The first thing is, what kind of pants will I wear? And the second thing is what kind of shirt will I wear? Occasionally I will think about whether to wear a hat, or what kind of shoes I’m wearing, but not normally. That being said, I feel that it is much easier for guys to dress in the first place.
Girls, as I was able to (I think) tell from class, feel like they are very pressured when it comes to what to wear. Apparently girls worry about what their friends will think about their outfit, as well as taking in to consideration what guys will think of their outfit. From a guy’s perspective, I only take into consideration what I think about my outfit really. I feel like I can be the sole judge of the clothing on my body and that I can judge it well enough to not feel self conscious when I go out. Normally my friends won’t even comment on my outfit, so I don’t have to worry about what they think. And I think another real key point to this issue is the idea that girls don’t even really care what clothes guys have on. Some guys put too much thought into what they wear (I think) and wear Ed Hardy shirts, button downs on a nightly basis, etc. I’m not into dressing up like that, and I don’t think society requires it. However, some guys do feel that way, so I guess my real answer is that I think the pressure guys feel on how to dress from society varies from guy to guy.
This is a great question in my opinion. Usually no one brings it up, but the discussion is very interesting. I think that most guys do feel compelled to conform to what society has shown is the way to be. That being said, I think most guys like to hide the fact that they do this, which in turn just means they are conforming to what someone mentioned in an earlier post; Men feel the need to be manly and compete with other men. This is where I think the discussion gets good because as much as it is society's norms for men to be this way, it is also biologically ingrained in our heads. Evolution has dictated that women seek mean with resources for the benefit of their young, and men seek out women to spread their seed and ensure the continuation of their lineage. I don't think its so much a conformity to society when men go out of their way to be macho. They are just doing their best to attract females, because they are biologically inclined to do so. That fact is only reinforced by a society that demands and portrays buff actors with lots of money and fame. As much as most men won't want to admit it, they do indeed go out of their way sometimes to conform. I think the only major difference is how much we allow other people to see. Women seem to have little problem showing off their new accessories and makeup and tanlines, whereas, barring a few anomalies with your Gym/Tan/Laundry guys, guys don't need to keep up an appearance as much. Some guys still like to look good, and most people hopefully at least take care of basic hygiene. However, guys aren't nearly as concerned with matching clothing, or keeping their hair in just that perfect way, or wearing the hottest latest brands. Take myself for example. I have no problem going out and buying a pair of jeans at the mall for 20 bucks. I'll wear those jeans anywhere. Most girls talk about going out and getting a sale on a pair of jeans for 40 or 50 bucks. Same basic look, i just care a lot less. I don't mind what name is on the tag of my jeans, I just want a pair that fits. its a small example, but It does demonstrate how some aspects of conformity differ between men and women.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that, in answer to the question, yes men feel compelled to conform to many different aspects of society, but I don't think that overall, men will ever go out of their way as a whole to show it more than women. There is nothing wrong with that, It's just my opinion on the matter.
I definitely think that men have to conform to society just as much, if not more than women do. From a very young age, you learn what it is to be a man and how you are supposed to act. You have to be tough and not let your emotions show. Sports are a must. You have to like them and be good at them. The most popular kids growing up are almost always the best athletes. The kids who don't like sports or aren't good athletes are become the "losers" or whatever you want to call them. I'm not saying this is right, it's just how it is. And women aren't the only ones who have to worry about body image. I think men actually have more pressure when it comes to how our bodies look. Fat isn't a good look for either sex. But women are expected to just be skinny. That doesn't work for guys though. We can't be fat or skinny. Guys are expected to be muscular. I'm not saying girls don't go to the gym or don't put in work to make their bodies look better, but their work in the gym is easier than guys'. And when it comes dressing, men do not have quite the pressure or accessories to deal with that women do, but we definitely have standards to meet. We are expected to wear the "cool" styles and whatever fad is in. As we got older and girls came into the picture, the pressure is bigger than ever. Whatever guy gets the most girls or has the hottest girlfriend is the one that everybody else wants to be. And if you're not getting the girls, then you're getting made fun of.
Another big pressure that men face is success in the real world. Men are expected to make a lot of money and be able to support their family. Everyone wants to live in a nice, safe neighborhood where their kids can grow up in a friendly environment. I don't want to paint women as gold diggers, but a woman is more likely to go for a man who is financially set and secure, knowing they can live comfortably. (This is where all the kids who weren't good at sports and studied instead get their revenge). Seriously though, women often complain that it is so hard to be a woman and that they have so many pressures and such hard standards. I do not disagree with that at all. But being a man is no easy task either. It's kind of sad that society has such high standards for people. Perfection is the ultimate image that everyone tries to reach. And whether you're a Hollywood star, a millionaire businessman, or whatever, no one can ever be perfect.
The answer to this, well my answer to this, is absolutely not. If we were to conform to society, every guy would try to look skinny but built right? Well speaking for myself, I am a “plump” guy, and really could care less what I look like. Yeah maybe some people judge me differently, but I couldn’t give two shits about what they think. I do think that it is unfair how society thinks differently about men and women, and how I am often more accepted than a woman of my same stature. But yeah to answer your question, I don’t really wake up in the morning and think, “I need to get real skinny or real ripped or wear this or that to feel accepted.”
As a guy I know that girls have it much tougher in this life. I saw a poster once that had Marilyn Monroe on it and the quote was “I don’t mind being in a man’s world, as long as I am a woman in it.” And what she said is right, this is a man’s world and women are dealing with that. I as a man want to be accepted and feel the pressure to be one of the guys or to fit into society and be part of the majority but, it is nothing along the lines of what it seems as what women have to face. To the best of my knowledge it seems as if women are struggling with body issues, self confidence issues, and issues with the media at a much higher rate than men. Look at any magazine stand throughout the country and you will see “perfect” women, super skinny, voluptuous breasts, and amazingly beautiful. Women see this and think that this is what they need to look like, what is the norm and what every guy wants.
I feel as if most guys are more comfortable with themselves and don’t feel the pressure that most women are facing with issues seen in such as these. Girls dress up and try to look perfect, but most guys don’t really care how perfect you look, guys don’t care what a girl is wearing and a lot of the time like their girls dressed down, but still women continue to dress up and put too much pressure on themselves to be perfect or look like those girls on the covers of magazines. Men on the other hand don’t really feel these pressures to be perfect in your looks and don’t feel the need to dress up and be perfect for anyone else. Although men don’t feel as much pressure to be just like that guy on the cover of the magazine, they feel pressure in other areas such as being “the man” being strong, unemotional, and above all else tough. Everyone feels the pressure to be a part of the majority whether you are a man or a woman.
I think that men do feel pressure to conform to the norms of society. This may not be to the extent that women feel pressure, but men do feel pressure nonetheless. Women feel more pressure than men because the pressure is more visible. Good-looking women populate the main stream. They appear in television shows, movies, commercials, and are often even those with other talents. They are often high-profile singers or perform in other occupations at the center of the public's eye. Men often first judge a women on how they look. It is a plain and simple fact. No matter how much people may debate this matter, it most often comes down to looks. That is not to say that personality cannot make a female more desirable as a potential mate, however, for the initial interest to be shown, looks are often the most important factor, as looks are the most visible factor. For women, men are attractive based on a blend between looks and personality in much more of a balance. With men, looks tip the scales significantly, however for women, it is often a very even split between the two factors. This is very apparent in contemporary society. If one looks around, they will find a much higher proportion of attractive women dating unattractive men than unattractive women dating attractive men. This is due to the nature of males and females. To get back to the question of whether men feel pressure to conform, one should just look at the current styles. Back in high school, when a trend was started that a "popular kid" started to follow, slowly but surely the vast majority of males would soon follow in suit. This can be seen from the trends of preppy clothing, to popping one's collar, to wearing Vans shoes. Another example can be found here at school itself. When going to one's first party at school, one might not know how to dress. However, after attending a couple of parties, it becomes apparent that most males wear jeans and a t-shirt or a button down shirt. This causes one to adhere to this norm so that one does not stand out. One can also see this by talking to women. Men generally want to dress in a way that attracts a women, so if women like a certain clothing style or a certain body type, then men are going to try and obtain those things. For example, in today's society, it is evident that women tend to like athletic men with toned muscles and flat abs. This spurs men to go to the gym and to work out. While it is true that many men work out just to get into better shape, it is also apparent, at least in part, that men try to get into good shape so that they will become more attractive to women. This is an interesting topic.
Believe it or not, males experience the same emotions females do! You see men trying to be everything their favorite bodybuilder is. They exercise excessively and lift weights as if their life depends on it! They go on protein diets, drink those powder drinks to suppress their appetite. People like this guy from Jersey shore..Mike "The situation” he is set on his physical appearance. Not only him, but the other guys in the house have the same mindset! They spend hours doing their hair in the mirror and i have not stood next to them but I believe if I do they will smell as if they poured a bottle of cologne on their body. So yeah, guys get carried away with the whole self image thing.
This is funny because I was just having this conversation with my friend. Just on this campus (but definitely not limited to- I see this phenomena everywhere) I see so many pretty girls with not so good looking guys. There have been so many times where I will see a great girl—good personality, body, looks etc. with a chubby guy or a really different looking guy that does not fit the “pretty boy” stereotype. I think a lot of it is based off of the fact that girls really take personality into consideration. If a guy isn’t good-looking, but he is funny—automatic in. If a guy isn’t muscular, but he’s sweet—automatic in. There are so many things that girls look for, and being “hot” is but a small, minor aspect. When I talk to guys, they say , hands down, looks are the majority of what they look for. Let’s be serious, if a girl is chubby and not very attractive (in the cookie cutter “beautiful” stereotype) is a guy even going to take a second look at her? No. Maybe she will be put in the friend category, but that is as far as it will go. Perhaps a certain type of guy tries to fit these impossible standards that magazines/Hollywood gives—by getting “big” or being tan or wearing nice clothes, but there is no way it even levels to the amount that girls put into their appearance and body image.
Not being a man I'm not sure but I think it is sort of easier for men when it comes to image. I think women are a little bit more accepting of the men in our lives. I think we look at personality before looks more than men to towards us. Also when you look in the media and on the cover of the magazines you rarely see the men it is more women, unless it is like GQ or something. Guys can be heavy and this could make them more lovable like a teddy bear, when a woman is heavy though it seems like she becomes less desirable to men.
I definitely feel like everybody including men feel the need to conform to society. Insecurity is something that everyone deals with and seemingly the only way that we have learned to deal with it is to fit in with the crowd. I guess instead of men having to be skinny and have big boobs, were supposed to be macho and have big muscles. Also conformity is definitely seen a lot in the way people dress, and for the most part at places like Penn State men and women tend to dress like each other. Unfortunately this does not seem like a fixable issue and it will probably continue very long time.
I believe men feel the need to conform to what society says; although I don’t believe many men will explicitly admit it (it’s probably a pride thing or something). When we see reality TV shows on MTV or hear what’s in style and what’s not or see how certain guys get girls based on their outer appearance, most, if not, all of those give us an inner drive to conform no matter what the cost may be. One of my friends asked me after class if guys ever have a self-image problem like girls do. As aforementioned, I think we guys do but we don’t talk about it.
It’s ridiculous to see how the media portrays men: guys have to wear deodorant that will get not just one girl, but all the girls; guys have to be shirtless while riding a white horse backwards (relating to an Old Spice commercial); guys have to drink the right beer, wear the right clothing, have that million-dollar smile, and so much more. Women aren’t the only people affected by the media in the realm of self-image; men, too, have insecurities of what they should look like and can easily forget what inner beauty means. Sadly we live in a fallen world.
I think that girls feel the pressure more from society on how to dress. Girls take much longer to get ready and go out than guys do, and therefore I think that they feel the pressure more. Guys can pretty much just throw on a shirt and jeans and be accepted. Girls, however, have the issue of doing their hair, doing their nails/toenails, what shoes to wear (heels/not heels), whether to wear a dress, pants, or a skirt, and the list goes on. Honestly, I feel bad for girls because of all of this, but I definitely appreciate being a guy and how easy it is for me to get ready to go out at night.
I do feel that men too think of their bodies in the same way that women do, they may not make a big deal about it and openly say that there are certain things that they are uncomfortable with or wish they could change, but I think the same feelings still exist. Men and women both see images of perfectly sculpted bodies in magazines targeted towards their gender and it really shouldn’t be a surprise that men obsess over being as close to perfect as possible like their female counterparts. I have seen guys who obsess over exercise and caloric intake, in hopes of putting on muscle mass. The thing is that guys are a lot more private and keep body image matters more personal, in many cases at least. I remember watching true life: I want the perfect body or something like that where this guy submersed himself with images of perfection as his goal image. What really surprised me was for him it wasn’t just about muscle, it was everything from making sure he had zero body hair (which was a little weird) to the clothes he put on his back and even the way he smelled. This guy is obviously an extreme case, but even still there are a good amount of men out there that feel they have to live up to the media’s standard of masculine. Even in reality t.v. men are always portrayed as the macho guy who is an asshole that gets all the girls, which in reality does happen too and I do feel that it is a result of these shows. Male body image and overall appearance, like females does not stop at acceptance from the opposite sex. As mentioned in class, looking around penn state one can easily observe that everyone is pretty much wearing the same thing in one way or another and it is especially the case for males. Appearance and acceptance go hand in hand across genders from relationships to friendships. The comparison between male and female points to many more similarities than one would think. I can see why this question was asked. There are tons of statistics out there about female body image and the negativity faced in a world laced with advertisements. Information is there, but nothing is really said about the effects to a male and his body image. The same messages are there, but when turning to males the issues are often overlooked. The problem in both cases is, these images are always airbrushed and photo shopped. Everyone knows this, weather male or female, but we still make the decision to want so badly what, in many cases is beauty (and an image) that is clearly unattainable.
I’d have to say men definitely have to try to conform to society. Just look around the classroom and look at all the bro’s trying to be cool. I’m a male and I’d like to think I wouldn’t convert to society, but I try to go to the gym every other day and honestly, I would have to say this is to “look good”. I like to think it’s because I care about my health but it’s really just me trying to get that slick beach body. I feel like females are more pressured to conform but males definitely are supposed to fit in. Not only physically but males have to act a certain way in front of their friends, compared to in front of the ladies.
I am not a man and I can’t speak for men. I have a lot of guy friends, and I think that men do conform to what society wants them to be like. I feel this way because all guys try to fit in just as much as women do it is not just as talked about. I feel that men want to look like the models in the magazines, that’s why they have male models as well. I haven’t met a guy that didn’t care about how they looked they might not ask each other how they look. I have many guy friends and they always ask me how they look before they go out. I don’t think it is a big deal for men to want to look good when they go out, they shouldn’t just throw anything on and not care about what they look like. The only difference is women obsess about how they look and men don’t.
Women care to conform to a much greater degree than most men. For the majority of girls, other peoples’ opinions matter. In order to avoid any negative attention, they put a lot of effort into being normal, and being what other people want them to be. The media tells people around the U.S. that the normal, well perfect rather, girl is skinny, tan, wears a lot of makeup: beautiful. This is what most of us strive to be in order to be normal, be cool, and fit in.
I also find that men are more judgmental about girls than girls are about guys. I used to work with a guy who would constantly make comments such as 'check out the ass on that ugly girl.' I’ve also heard comments from random guys using sarcasm when associating a larger girl and attractiveness. Being surrounded by this on a day-to-day basis, I begin to feel more self-conscious about myself; realizing that if guys are judging random girls passing by, then I'm being regularly judged as well. I've never been in a situation where I, nor any of my friends, gave such a back handed compliment or rudely whispered among my friends, pointing out physically unattractive people. For the most part, we'd say something along the lines of, 'he's cute… check him out…etc.' By pointing out a specific guy and giving him positive attention, we’re boosting self-esteem, not crushing it.
After puberty girls’ body image becomes extremely important because we are finally growing into ourselves and weight often fluctuates for the first several years. It's an uncomfortable stage for many girls. However boys don't have to deal with the ups and downs of body image. Biologically, they have more muscle than fat, and tend to be overall satisfied with their changing appearance during puberty.
Media has portrayed more physically attractive women than physically attractive men over the past several decades, but recently, we see many more men on the cover of magazines. A certain ideal body shape is being presented through the media for guys, making them increasingly susceptible to conformity and causing them to care more about their body image.
It's almost pathetic, but I have to admit that my boyfriend and I talk on webcam and complain to one another about our bodies. 'I need to tighten my stomach' 'I need to put on 10 pounds.' Back and forth, we continue to nag because of the pressures we experience from our society today. We are all trying to conform and be this perfect superficial being, which in reality, doesn’t even exist. I think it’s cool that boys are beginning to experience the feeling though, now they can understand how hard it is for girls to deal with all of this pressure. Hopefully, people like the guy I worked with will quit being so immature and realize they’re no where near perfect themself.
I feel that Men themselves have a lot to conform to, to society standards, to men's ideal vision of pride, to the media, to the flow of what is to be expected in Men, and the ideal vision of what a man represents. I went through so many pressures of trying to fit in the norms and pressure of being the ideal man in society. In media and to the public of this nation, the ideal man is someone who is strong, courageous, confident, athletic, protective, aggressive, and charming to women. As i skim over pages of magazines such a sports illustrated and power house, i see pictures and description of men who are well dressed, handsome, popular and secured in both state of mind and physical aspects. Through out grade school and even till now, i been trying to fit that persona and be that kind of man. I struggled everyday to fit that criteria by going to the gym, hanging out with peers who fit that description of man, and always to exert myself in becoming best in sports. Through the trails of achieving perfection in men hood, i have gone through many pain and suffering. In Tuesday class, we were given a performance of a skit, which consisted of three girls, the girls acted out a scenario where a girl is about to get a boob adjustment and her friend is trying to convince her not to get it and save it for others who really do need it. Her friend refuses to listen and argues with her friend and the third girl is trying to speed things up with no care at all. Basically both friends get hurt and walk away from each other. Scratching the boob part, but that kind of scenario is the same with men as well. There are men who went out to do drugs such as steroids in order to perform and be the best in sports and have a looks of a "manly" man.I have friends who went through that case and i have been hurt and eventually my friend go hurt. The media, our culture, and view points of men and women is what brings so many insecurities in both male and females. Men, just like women, are constantly aware of themselves and what the appear. They change themselves in order to be fit in society image of what men and women should look like. Through that process of fitting the image, males grow through my trials of pain and hopelessness in order to meet the standards. It brings stress and pain and blinds males of seeing what is really in front of them, they are perfect no matter what people or the media tells them.
Being a guy, I don’t feel any type of pressure to try to fit it or conform myself to be the norm. I personally feel like girls always see other girls with great bodies or whatever they see in them and want to be the same and try to change themselves to be that way. Personally, if I see a guy that is jacked or cut, all I say is good for them. They worked hard and got the results they wanted. I don’t care very much about how I look. I was made a certain way and that’s the way I am supposed to be. I have no problems with anything when it comes to body figure and being comfortable with myself. I couldn’t really care what other people think about me and I think that is the problem with females. I think they care too much about how other people judge them and what people think about their looks. I think it is a lot about personality and not so much looks. When I hang out with a girl I am a huge fan of them wearing sweatpants and not trying to impress and get all dressed up. To me it doesn’t matter.
When guys go out at night, we throw on a shirt, some pants and shoes and maybe some guys do a little something to their hair. Girls get dressed, do their makeup for hours, their hair and then go. It is just a completely different lifestyle that one can compare to the other. Being a girl seems very tough through a guy’s point of view and being a guy seems like the easiest thing if you ask a girl. And to be honest it kind of is. One thing I think that guys try to fit in with is sports. It sounds dumb, but when there is a super bowl party you don’t want to be that guy sitting in your bedroom when everyone else is watching the game, drinking and having a great time. Other than that, I don’t see the need to fit in. Everyone is different and you accept that you cannot be like someone else. You will never be that model you see on the magazines.
I do not walk around campus see other guys in the gym or on magazine covers and be like “wow I need to be like them.” It isn’t something that goes through my head. The only reason I run or try to stay in shape is for health reasons, not to look good and impress everyone else. If you cannot accept someone cause they look different, then the person judging doesn’t deserve to hang out with you.
There's a huge tendency to conform for both males and females. As far as media and the magazines go, I think it's safe to say they target both genders. Many people think that what sells is what they should conform to, that the image is to be emulated. It's been apparent that sex sells for a while now, and it's not about promoting good health as much as it's about selling sexuality, by exposing the human body. I think woman face more scrutiny when it comes to their bodies, because popular images do not represent what all woman look like. So long as people look to popular images to conform to their standards, and as long as people feel the need to conform to their peers, this mass conformation will continue to exist, for both males and females.
Additional Blog#1
Men may not be as quick as women to conform to the whims of society, but they do conform. Everyone will conform to something at point in their life. No one on this earth completely believes that they are perfect. However, because society points out the flaws of women so quickly and more frequently, it would appear that men have absolutely nothing to worry about.
So wrong! Just like women compare themselves to other women, men constantly compare themselves to other men. Whether it be athletic abilities, clothing, shoes, intelligence, or anything, mean always running a ridiculous race to better than the guy next to them. There is always some guy who thinks that if he works out more, than he will get more women. There is always a guy who assumes that if he is sweeter than next guy, he will be looked at as a better ladies man. There is also a guy who believes that if he works harder or is smarter than another guy, he will receive more in life. Men are very insecure creatures. However, the secret to their success of hiding their insecurities is just to pretend that what another guy is doing does not matter at all. But yet, we all know that even men feel the need to fix something about themselves.
Society sees no color or sees no gender. Society creates limits for us all, yes including us males. Men tend to be less open about trying to live up to society’s standard. Women have this belief that men do not face these challenges or these struggles. I believe men have been better at swinging right back at society. For letting society know that they have to accept the variety and men have learned to embrace their true self. Women, have this same potential but the majority of them allow their bodies and lives to be shaped by society. One year society wants skinny girls with small chest and the next year thick girls.
This question is interesting because I found that when I was writing my other blog comment that dealt with body image and being influenced by the media, I kept saying girls and not including boys into the issues. However I don't think that they aren't affected, I just think that we so often associate body image and the idea of conforming to an ideal with women. Just looking around at the similar outfits worn by men, it’s easy to see that they conform their image from some type of ideal style as well. Also, although being skinny may not be as much of an issue, guys are always trying to bulk up and get muscles. Human nature creates a tendency for people, of both genders to care about their appearance. Through caring about their appearance, the image that the media puts out can't help but play a role in determining how people want to look.
I think we all have ways of wanting to fit in. Sam was saying that everyone in the class in someway or another is not completley dressing in a way that they want without influence. I thought i didnt really care what anyone thought of what i wore, and i was right for the most part. But then i took into account the jewelery and the sneakers i was wearing. My dad had earrings so i wanted them when i was little, same thing with my braclet and my watch, ive just wanted to be like my father from a young age and that may have transitioned into my style and where i "fit in" looks wise.
Well, I wouldn't call trying to adopt some of your father's style as "conforming to society". Your not getting your ideas from a popular image, rather your family. I feel like most people look to an image that is unattainable, or try to emulate someone who they have no connection with. Societal trends change so quickly that what was hot 5 years ago isn't hot now. In the realm of personal style, I feel like your not conforming to society unless you've changed your image because of the people in you're generation. My father has had a style that's been established for years, I feel like it's the younger generations that feel the need to emulate eachother and confomr to certain looks.
Finally someone asks about if men feel the need to fit a certain stereotype in order to fit in. We have been discussing about how women have to be a certain shape or size in order to feel good about themselves and I was wondering when someone was going to ask the question. I think that men definitely feel like they need to be a certain way in order for them to be more accepted by society. In my discussion group last week we briefly discussed how gay and Jewish people ordinarily do not fit into the same subject as sports. I never really thought about this until a guy in my group that is Jewish spoke up. He said that when he was in high school and enjoyed sports and wanted to play that his father said to him that his position in a game should be a spectator because he is Jewish. That statement kind of struck me hard. I know that some men do not want to participate in sports when they are gay because they do not want to get picked on in the locker room and do not want to be outcaste as the gay jock, but I never knew that Jewish people felt that they do not fit in sports.
Back to the original question I believe that all men starting during puberty feel the need that if they are big and bulk they will fit in the popular crowd and won’t have any trouble picking up the ladies. Speaking for myself even though I am not a big gym guy, I feel that people will approach me differently if I am clean cut and more muscular than the average Joe Schmoe. I think that society puts this image in our heads that we need to be when we are young through tabloids and celebrities. Television is overly watched in our society and for the most part you see this stuff right there. Saved by the Bell and Family Matters explains it all, Zach and Slater are always competing for the ladies while Screech constantly tries to fall in love with Lisa Turtle. Urcle constantly tries to get Laura, but doesn’t really get her until he transforms himself into a muscular, buff, alter-ego Stefan. We watch these things as kids and feel the need that we cannot be that schrony nerd in school and need to be the star of the team that gets all the cheerleaders. It’s not just on television but it’s all around us. When you walk on campus for the most part you see these different groups among our peers. Usually people of their same status hang together when they are out or on campus. Just trying to extend that effort to be a part of a group can make you get embarrassed and can be a total loss of self-esteem. Don’t get me wrong not everyone is like this but when people are in large groups they tend to stick to the “prototype” of how they classify themselves. To be a man you need to have that Incredible Hulk physique as well as a love for sports and especially be able to pick up the ladies.
My girlfriend’s mother shared a story with me about how she went to her 20 year class reunion and was glad to see that the high school nerd which everyone picked on became most successful and is an aero-technician with NASA. In school he always got picked on and now she said he has a beautiful wife and kids. The person that always picked on him got the award for most DUI’s since graduation. Makes you think about how you should act towards peers while you’re young.
I think that the answer to this question, and the pressure felt by a guy from society on how to dress, is based on the perception and mindset of the guy, and can vary greatly from one guy to another. There are guys like me and most of my friends who don’t seem to feel a lot of pressure. Then, there are guys like one of my roommates who I think feels a lot of pressure. He takes a while to get ready, wears a lot of button downs, etc. Also there are guys like kids in my fraternity who wear button downs all the time, gel their hair, and do all kinds of things that I think are unnecessary.
Guys are always conforming to society just like women. What’s one thing that everyman really wants, they want to have a job, a girlfriend for the most part, and be happy. Well I tell you not everyone wants to be working in an office building and a lot of people do so they are conforming right there. You ever go out at night and see guy dressed in jeans and a button down theirs an example. If you ever walk into a gym and see a bunch of guys working the glamour muscles, which are the arms and chest then yeah, they are. Guys are just as worried about what girls think about them they just don’t have to care as mush because well there are guys.
I think that most men feel the need to conform to society just as women do. This comes from one of the basic human instincts to “fit in.” For the most part, people do not want to be viewed as strange or weird. Therefore, they act, dress, and try to look a certain way in order to appear normal. People make a big deal about how women feel the need to conform to society. For example, women feel pressured to be rail-thin and have long flowing hair because they see models in magazines and commercials with the same look. However, I think the fact that men feel the need to conform is overlooked.
One of the main stereotypes of men is the “macho” characteristic. This persona is thought to be tough, strong, and good-looking. He also likes sports and loves good-looking women. This kind of stereotype is the kind you see all over TV, whether it be in commercials or shows. For example, body wash and shampoo companies like Old Spice portray men that are well built and attractive. By using these men, the companies are conveying two images. One is easily visible, while the other is subtler. First of all, they want men around the country to think “Wow, these men use Old Spice and they are considered great all-around guys. Maybe I should use it too.” The second message is “Old Spice is using men that look like this to sell their products. Maybe I should try to look like that because that is the ‘ideal’ man.”
I think this all comes down to how men want to be viewed by women. For the most part, men would like to be attractive to the opposite sex. It is primal human nature to appeal to a mate. Therefore, when they see good-looking men on TV, they feel like they need to act and dress and look like these men. If men are watching a movie with their girlfriends and a good-looking actor comes on the screen and the girlfriend goes “Oh my god, he’s so hot,” don’t you think the boyfriend is thinking to himself “Damn, I need to workout to look like him/do my hairstyle like his/wear the kind of clothes he has on.” People may not acknowledge it, but men feel very similar pressures to conform to society that women do. The reason that it is a more serious issue for women is that by conforming to society also means getting skinny, which can bring on certain health risks like malnutrition or eating disorders. Thankfully, men do not have to sacrifice their health in order to look like the all-American guy. However, there could be a point in the future where they may feel the need.
In a way I feel like males try to conform to what society thinks but no where near what females have to go through. As a male when I turn on the T.V., I usually see products directed at women. From skin moisturizers to make up and so on, and they tell everyone that if you don't look like the models they use then they aren't beautiful. For products directed towards men which aren't many, they use deodorants and body wash and other "manly" products. In their commercials they show the men in these commercials surrounded by beautiful women and they clearly paint the picture of what women want and what it takes to get that attractive women. I personally don't pay much attention to the hundreds of ads I see every day and I don't think a huge percentage of all men really get caught up in it.
While growing up I had some issues about fitting in but I don't think that I would let it rule me and make me want to act a different way. I would dress certain ways some days of the week and others I would dress different to impress different groups of friends. Since then I am a lot more independent and don't really care if people act a certain way because they are required to according to the media.
I think this is what makes America great. You can dress or act anyway you wish because of freedom of speech. But as the media poisons young men and woman's minds and making them that they need to listen to what ever is told by them to be beautiful is very sad. I really think women are effected because when you turn on the T.V. or read through magazines the "critics" are very hard on the women. When males leave the house they put on a t-shirt and shirts and they hear nothing about it but if a female was to do that they would be looked at with a strange look.
Men are supposed to be very muscular and women are supposed to be really skinny, and I'm really confused how we came to this point. When Laurie was in our class and we watched the play, it really made me think. A women with a voluptuous body is now frowned upon and is looked upon as wrong. I just can't grasp the concept, people are actually committing suicide because they don't fit in a group or don't look a specific way. Everyone brings something to this world and we need to stop basing everything off of looks and what we can do to fit into the eyes of the media. Beauty comes in many different shapes and sizes and as soon as we recognize this we will all be better off.
I am a male, and I believe there is still a pressure to conform to societies standards, however not to the same degree as women. One example is the amount of men who see it as pivotal to lift weights everyday in order to fit in with the general idea that muscles are attractive, and being skinny is exactly the opposite. I find it baffling that men who don't even compete in sporting activity still find it necessary to spend 2 hours a day lifting weights purely to conform to a sought after image of attractiveness. This is a clear example of men under pressure to reach the standards set by society.
Secondly, in male friendship groups there is a huge amount of pressure to be with a girl that is accepted by his friends, in many instances it is only when a males friends confirm that the girl he is seeking is attractive that he attempt to make that girl his girlfriend. If friends make jokes about the situation I know men will go against their feelings. There is an incredible amount of pressure amongst male friendship groups to find a girl who satisfies the standards of the group.
However, despite this I also feel girls tend to place higher importance on following societies norms. Perhaps this is because women are given more to worry about by society. For example a man simply needs to be in good shape and stick on jens and a t-shirt. For girls, they are constantly thinking about make up, clothing, accessories, hair style/color. Furthermore girls have more pressure among society to follow sexual rules, their is more of a distinct line that societies suggests girls should follow, whereas for guys they can pretty much go about as they pleased without judgment, when it comes to sexual activity.
Much is however the same, men must conform to a macho image of muscles and limited emotion, and girls have to conform to the skinny, fault-free looks set by societies magazines/films ect. The main result of these levels set by society is a feeling of insecurity, and the reason I feel it is worse for women is simply because a higher standard is set by society. Men are sometimes portrayed as care free, and clumsy, obnoxious and arrogant. Whereas, in respect to women, more often than not females in the media are almost always made to llook perfect. It is acceptable for a man to fall short on looks, but make up for it by humor for instance, whereas for women there is a much higher importance on perfect looks. Furthermore, it is also true that women do pay significantly more attention to the media image expected of them. Millions more women buy magazines related to looks, and whereas male television programmes are sterotypically about cars or comedies, majority girl programmes are usually filled by incredibly attractive girls, such as 'the hills' 'the o.c.' 'the kardashians' and so on.
Guys are just as shaped as women by socialization, and we feel the need to conform, but it simply shows itself in different ways. Men do not have to look sexy like women do, but men are still mocked if they over dress or if they dress gothic or something. We are also subject to other social standards like having to be strong all the time, and needing to be providers. This has made stay at home dads a taboo institution, and inversely it has hurt women in the job market. Men may not have some of the same issues and disadvantages as women, but having the advantages has a down side in that if one is not as strong as one should be or a provider like society says we should be, then we are shunned in society and don't have respect in society. I am not saying I don't like the perks, but the perks do come with a down side. So that is my answer, men face social constraints and pressures, but they are very different from the ones women face.
Men and women do face completely different ways to conform. Common stereotypes for men include showing no emotion, not partaking in any “feminine activity”, and being the person who brings home the bacon. Even at school, I knew a guy who broke up with his girlfriend because he was stuck in the shadows behind her. She was really involved on campus and he was too, but not nearly as much. The stereotype way of conforming to society definitely played a role in their break up. I think it was stupid, but it just goes to show you how hard people try to conform to the suggested norm.
Good question. It’s actually pretty funny this question was posted, because I was recently thinking that all we do is talk about womanhood, being a woman and women conforming to society. We very rarely ever talk about manhood and what not. It doesn’t really bother me personally, but I am just curious why it hasn’t been talked about. I feel as though it should be discussed as it relevant. While there are the same or similar societal pressures for men to conform, it is not as intense or obvious as it is with women. It seems as though society is much quicker to judge and to point out the flaws in women or perhaps women are simply more conscientious. Men maybe do not pay as much attention to the products and what not they see on television or wherever. I mean how often do you really hear of some dude getting plastic surgery, moisturizing their skin, or going to the lengths that women do to perfect their look? But yes, men too are concerned to some extent with the way they look and if they are found attractive. Rather than the material aspects of conforming, such as clothing brands and what not, which are more prominent with women, I feel as though men are more concerned with their physical body image. Men sometimes get carried away with lifting weights and exercising, because muscular is in most cases what is seen as attractive. Men not only want to be healthy, they want to “look good,” which correlates to high self esteem. Naturally, people do not want to the outcast. Yet, as people have mentioned, it is nothing new for men to want to fit in and to prove themselves as more “manly” than or to compete with the next dude. It has happened throughout history, among almost all creatures/animals, and in many different ways. That said, the degree to which men are affected by these pressures again depends on the individual. It varies from person to person. Yet, on some level we are all conforming, even though at times we may or may not realize it. And although it is cliché, it is “human nature” – whatever that means – to want to fit in and to be liked/loved. When it comes down to it, from a biological standpoint, men are more concerned with what women want, as they simply want to attract a suitable mate. Someone also mentioned that men do not really want to admit that they are conforming to society. It is funny, because it is true that men are much more quite about doing so. And in not admitting that they are conforming, they are conforming because it is not “manly” or whatever to admit that you base your image off of someone else.
i feel that no matter what, that every guy in the world conforms some way to fit into society. i am from the so called boondocks, and i usually wear camo and boots and so on when i am in my home town. but when i go out to the city near us or to state college i feel though as i have to "dress up" so that i kind of fit in. i mean i know thats bad but until people can get comfortable with how people wear their clothes weather it be a Muslim or a country kid then i dont se people not trying to fit in.
To answer her question, I would say that as a whole, men don’t feel the need to conform to society anywhere near the degree that women do. Women are much more vain and self-conscious and are easily influenced by the depictions of beauty portrayed in film, television, magazines and all other forms of media. Women feel pressured to conform to these ideals and norms because those examples are essentially what beauty has been defined as to both genders. Women also adopt a greater sense of “competition” amongst each other in terms of searching for mates – often men with paternal traits. Men, meanwhile, place less emphasis on this search and are by nature a more isolated and individual group. Women feel they need to do whatever they can to acquire these men, and the competition amongst each other is so strong that women often have to correspond with the characteristics and traits of this wide-held beauty.
Additionally, men tend to age worse than women, so I think men are more likely to relax with their look, knowing that someday soon (usually starting in their mid- to late-20s) their age will take over. Men with receding hair lines are very accepted in our society, and don’t often face public backlash or humiliation for it. So many men “suffer” from it, but it’s an accepted rite of passage, so to speak. Meanwhile, women that suffer from something like sagging breasts are looked at differently. Sure, it’s similar in that it comes with age, but it’s also considered much more unattractive. This may not make sense, but let me get back to the point…
I am a very vain 20-year-old, and I don’t try to hide it. I care about how I look, I care about my style and the clothes I wear, and I care about how my body looks. I go to the gym often, in part for the health benefits that come with physical fitness, but more so just to make my body a little more sculpted and more appealing to women. I’m not ashamed in saying that. I know there are many more male gym-goers that are the same way, and certainly plenty of women too. When I see “ideal” looking men, I’m sure I subliminally take mental notes of a way to look. I don’t do it consciously, but obviously I got the idea that ripped muscles look good from somebody with them, right?
I think the reason men don’t conform as much to these traits portrayed in the media is because, like I said earlier, men are a more isolated and individual group, and are more likely to “pave their own roads,” so to speak. Men like to blazon their own trails and lead the way for others, and often that means experimenting in different looks or quite simply just looking, doing, and wearing what feels good – regardless of whether the opposite sex will be attracted to them or not.
Although I am not a male myself, I strongly believe that males to go through the same pressure of looking physically perfect as females do. However I do think that the issue of appearance is more publicly displayed and known for females than it is for males. I think that most men are better able to hide this concern about their physical appearance than females are, that is also why I believe that it seems so much more of a bigger deal for females. I know many males that are very concerned about the physique; some who are very thin and try taking protein shakes that contain several hundred calories in order to gain weight and then work out at the gym to be muscular, there are also men who are over weight that stress out about trying to loose weight and be musclar like the men they see on television. All in all I feel that concerns about appearence are just as relavent in men as it is in women.
Absolutely. All the cultural pressures that we put on the expectations of what it is to be a “man” or “woman” are faced by everyone. The expectations are brought to light when the little boy who only wants to play with the girls at recess rather than rough sports with the boys, and when the girl who hates wearing bras; it’s just that we (girls and boys) face different expectations or societal pressures. Men are supposed to be manly and not express their emotions while females are supposed to be mild mannered. Sometimes it’s difficult to see the pressures that the other gender faces simply because we’re imposing the expectations and not receiving them.
I couldn’t of said it better myself. You honestly hit the nail on the head. It’s hard to see the ways of conformity of the opposite sex because every sex sees a different perspective. We do all play apart in establishing the norm and how everyone should act. This limits individuality, creativity and independence. The people who choose not to conform get a lot of slack and it’s unfair. Not every men could be a six feet tall and 200 pounds and not show any emotion. The same goes with female norms and stereotypes. Hopefully in the near future, conforming will eventually mean just being yourself.
I definitely think that men do not feel the need to conform to society as much as women. Women, at least based on appearance, tend to go all out when it comes to what they look like in relation to other girls. I think for men, or at least for me personally, it is less about what the latest and greatest trend is and more just about being happy with myself. I don’t really care what other people think about the way I dress, or wear my hair, or whether I shave or not. I guess a lot of my “personal” decisions that I make regarding these things are probably based on society’s pressures, but I don’t think that the pressure put on me is more than the pressure put on most girls.
Girls, for whatever reason, seem to feel the need to conform more than guys do. I think that there are a lot of girls that would rather not put on make-up, or shave their legs, or dress the way that they do, but because of the pressures put on them by society, they do it anyway. I don’t know why this is and I definitely don’t think it is fair, but it is the way it is. As Sam has pointed out many times this semester, it isn’t fair, but it is definitely a man’s world. It is more so becoming more of an equal world lately, especially in relation to history, but there is definitely a lot of room for improvement in the world to get to a point of gender equality.
I think men feel the majority of their pressures based around how in shape they are in. It might not necessarily be what they are wearing, but the largest part of it probably comes from the pressure of physical appearance. Men are always “comparing sizes” with other men. If one guy gets something new, more often than not, his friends are going to be jealous and want whatever it is for them as well. It is the same with physical fitness. For the most part, every guy wants to be the most in shape person around. If you’re at the beach, you want to have the most ripped abs and the biggest arms when you take off your shirt. This is definitely a societal pressure, but I think girls care about this a lot more than guys. When a girl is at the beach, she is constantly analyzing the surrounding girls and comparing her body to those around her. As I do think that this trend is becoming more equal, I think it will still take a lot of time for men and women to have the same pressures put on them by society to conform.
Men definitely need to conform to society the same way women do. Maybe not in the same way though. Men play a specific role in society that often gets over looked during these days of feminism and the demonization of men. Sure it’s a male dominated society however we must ask ourselves the question, would women have created all this wealth and industry in the world today? Women contribute but men are silently expected to keep it going. Men must conform to the expectations of our culture and society. As for the image concept of this idea, men definitely need to conform like women just not in the same ways. Men don’t get breast implants. But sometimes they get calf implants! Men need to keep themselves well-groomed, dressed appropriately, and behaved in the proper business attitude. And that is just for the professional world. In the social world, men need to keep themselves clean cut looking and well dressed if they want any chance of picking up girls. There seems to be a certain dress code for going to the bars. Nice shoes, jeans or slacks, and a collared button down shirt. This is what women look for in men. I once asked a bartender at indigo if she liked guys in button down shirts. I Figured girls wouldn’t like that because then all the guys look the same and fake. They are clearly just dressed to impress the girls. But the bartender said that she prefers guys in button down shirts because they look nice and groomed. No girl wants to go out with some schlub in sweatpants and a t-shirt with spaghetti sauce stains all over the front while wearing burkenstocks with white socks. Guys can’t have a shaggy beard and molester mustache if they want any chance of picking up girls. Guys can’t drive around in piece of shit cars that are dirty on the outside and filled with soda bottles, chip bags, and empty cigarette packs on the inside. These are all small things that women notice about men and use to judge them on their personality and potential as a boyfriend or husband. So yea women have to conform but they are doing that for themselves and other women. We all know that women dress to impress other women because men couldn’t care less about what a girl is wearing unless she is fat and wearing a belly shirt. Men only dress like they are pimps so that they can impress the girls. Men REALLY don’t care what other men are wearing. The most they will judge each other on is the quality of a suit and or tie. Who cares what we look like as long as we aren’t dirty.
Men definitely have to confirm to society. As a man, I have witnessed first hand situations where you need to conform. You have to be able drink, not show much emotion, be built, tall and thin just to name a few. I mean I look at myself and see ways that I can physically and emotionally approve. Should I, no but I do so any way because it’s part of conforming to society. There’s certain activities I won’t tell anyone that I do because it’s not the most “macho”. I am a straight man, but I don’t want people to know that I tan in the winter or watch VH1 reality television shows. That wouldn’t be conforming. Honestly, as I sit here and type this I realize it really isn’t that big of a deal, so I should just be honest with everyone. The ideal man stigma is something a lot of guys go for, and to go against that would be detrimental to their social life. I think men are competitive in other ways than women. I mean men want to look better than every other guy, but in a different way. Men want to be the most muscular, in shape guy out there; where as girls want to wear the hottest outfit at the party and the nicest shoes. Guys also competitive when it comes to drinking and playing sports. The media tells us that the varsity jocks are all thin, muscular and popular. I mean I think in every television show and movie about high school these stereotypes are there. Then, because we all watch these from the media, men believe that they have to have the best body and be the star athlete to conform to society. Men blacklist any activities that are kind of feminine. Tanning, shopping, and even dancing are some of these activities. God forbid I read a book, have a glass a tea and watch Grey’s Anatomy. It does not mean you’re gay if you do these activities. So what if you were, are they not going to talk to you? If that’s the case, then they weren’t your friends in the first place. I think that heterosexual men and the idea of conforming to the macho men stereotype makes it very hard for gay men to come out. I guess it just comes to a point where you don’t care anymore, but it has to be difficult trying to conform to society as a gay man. This macho persona is has to change soon. There should not be any example that everybody should try to be like. This stereotype limits creativity and independence. Our world needs a new idea of perfection and it should be individuality.
Everyone is socialized to conform to society at such a young age. If you think about it, we have been socialized back to when we were born. Mothers can never dress their boy babies in girl colored clothes because then people wouldn’t be able to tell the sex of the baby. And then when we entered elementary school, the boys would play sports and rough house at recess while the girls would socialize in their groups. Girls played with Barbies and boys played sports. Even now nobody expects boys to watch “chick flicks.” Girls are supposed to be feminine, wear dresses and fit in.
I agree, everyone does want to fit in. But at what point do we do what we want and not what is expected of us? A lot of times I feel as if men are more nonchalant about societal pressures than women. Take zombie wars for example, the strange game that goes on around campus. A lot of men don’t care what others think, they do what they want. And in a way I admire this. A lot of guys do go along with society though. A lot of men wear popular clothes and have the latest technology. Like Sam said in class, everyone wants the newest technology. However I do feel as though guys have a lot less pressure on them. Girls are expected to wear make-up and do their hair. Guys not so much. Other girls notice when a chick wears the same outfit twice, guys don’t. Guys are socialized in ways other than looks. Sports is a huge example of how men are socialized. Every “typical” guy loves football, baseball, and basketball. At such a young age, boys are encouraged to join recreational sport teams. If a young boy would rather play with dolls than a soccer ball, he is considered abnormal.
Guys more than girls, I think anyways, strive to have the nicest things. Especially when it comes to cars. Every time I see a group of guys cruising around on campus, they are driving some pimped out vehicle blaring music. With that said, I think men are judged on different criterion than girls. Why doesn’t anyone try to accomplish having things that actually matter in life. Intelligence should be more important than looks and possessions. Money isn’t everything. And in order to truly fit in today’s society I feel as though money is key. Having nice clothes, cars, and technology aren’t free.
In conclusion I do think guys are socialized as much as women. Everyone is socialized from a prime age and we don’t even realize it. Guys are just socialized to be manly jocks and girls are socialized to look pretty.
I feel as men don't need to conform to society because men have been quite frankly been able to do as they please and had been able to make it acceptable. Men with beer bellies are viewed as normal while girls who are a little chubby are viewed as fat and ugly. Men are the exact opposite of conforming. It is almost as if men do as they please without really thinking about the possible ramifications that could come into effect. It is basically the nature of men to do as they please
Men have just as much pressure to conform to a certain image as women do. The only thing is there are a lot of different stereotypes a man can be, not just the one or two that most women feel pressure to be like. There's the tough guy emotionally stoic man, the frat boy image, pretty boy,..etc. So the focus for men isn't just based on one way a man has to be unlike the way it is for women. The female stereotype of the thin blonde hair and such is really the only stereotype you hear about for women, so that one body image is focused in on more. I think the pressure for men comes from a different place than it does for women too. I think the pressure to conform comes from the people closer to them, like their friends and family, especially their male friends. If a guy wants to have guy friends, he'll look and act like the people he wants to be around. Also, a big influence comes from family. My dad is a pretty quiet guy who doesn't really talk about emotions or feelings and he raised me to be kind of the same way. I'm not trying to be offensive but he thinks that guys who are really emotional and "pretty boys" are gay. So there is pressure for me to be the kind of man that he would accept. The pressure from women comes from society in general I think. All the media images and external influences that are telling them that they have to be beautiful and what beautiful is, thats what the female pressure is. It is completely different than the things that men face, but I feel like the pressure to conform is about equal amounts. It really just depends on how much each individual person pays attention to these forces and how much they care about what other people think of them. Because in reality, if a person does not care whether or not they belong to some group and doesn't care what people think about them, then why would they try to follow the stereotypes and "requirements" to belong here? There's always going to be pressure to conform to the mainstream image of men and women. Its up to the people to decide that they want to maintain their individuality if they want to do away with the stereotypes and the pressure to conform to them. It is up to people to create their own identity and not pay attention to who the media is telling them to be. If people don't like all the pressure, then there's two choices, either just give up and follow it or ignore it and live your own life.
I think that most men feel the need to conform to society, like women do. However, the ways they feel they need to conform are different than women. Women feel the pressure to be thin, big chested, etc. Men, on the other hand, feel the pressure to be “built” with big muscles, tall, etc. This is evident at the gym. Usually, the cardio room is filled with women and the weight section is pretty much occupied by men. I think this pressure to look a certain way is definitely due to media, for both sexes. While it is true celebrities come in all shapes and sizes, MOST of the women fit into a size two, and MOST of the men have six-packs.
Men, just like women, are products of our environment and culture. I think for men however it is a much more passive and subconscious thing when compared to women at least in terms of appearances. I would say especially say in this college culture that we find ourselves in, men on a day to day basis find ourselves under very little pressure in terms of our appearances. The majority of guys in this town live off of wearing predominately T-shirts day in and day out, especially when the weather is nice. Most of these T-shirts are interchangeable between every guy and there is very little variation, at least from what I have seen and experienced.
One area that men do feel more peer pressure is when we talk about drugs and alcohol. I know for me personally I felt, what I perceived as pressure from my friends from high school to drink and smoke weed. I know this isn’t the case for everyone, but what can I say, my friends from home are a bunch of druggies I guess. My group of friends started smoking weed in 7th grade, which is definitely a time where this kind of peer pressure has more effect on all of us. I remember feeling that I really needed to smoke in order to, townsend quit being such a mo fo what would happen if Pinocchio said my nose will grow, fit in. These kinds of feelings have definitely subsided as I’ve aged but this was one of the only aspects from my life that I feel that I really felt a pressure to conform to my peers and surroundings.
I see a lot of people posting about men conforming in order to try to look big and muscular. I would have to differ in my opinion here. Though clearly many guys do hit the gym 6 days a week and down their protein shakes and creatine, this certainly isn’t the majority. I know that there are the Jersey Shore bros out there that really do care about blasting their pecs, getting tan and fuckin bitches, however most guys do not fit this stereotypical role. Most guys are conscious of their appearance obviously, but they don’t obsess over it the way I feel that many women sometimes can do. Just take for instance the average time that it takes men compared to women to get ready to go out at night. I know plenty of girls that take well over an hour to prepare for a night, whereas men usually take no longer than a half hour to get ready, including a shower. Maybe this is just another product of our culture though, for guys to not care that much about the way they look, and therefore we still are conforming to our society. Who knows.
I do feel that men feel the need to conform to society's "man" image just as women feel they should act girlie or something. However being a man I feel the conformity comes from outside pressure. I am personally what I consider a sensitive guy and as a result I tend to hang out with girls over guys. Often I get comments like well you should like or know about sports or something along those lines. Or my friends that are girls are shocked when I say that I do not follow football, yes I just admitted that…I go to Penn State and I really do not care for football, sorry. I am perfectly happy and comfortable with myself and the fact that I do not know the first thing about cars or football etc. However I (like many other guys, I'm sure like some of my fellow sensitive guy friends I hang around with) I struggle with the pressure of others comments. I can see why men or women would want to conform to the "manly" or "girlie" stereotype because then you could easily fit in and not have to be interrogated to why you don't act like a "typical" guy or a "typical" girl. My friend (who is also a guy) and I were just talking about how we had been mistaken for gay in the past. The person's reasoning, "well you hang out with a lot of girls and you don't like football". At first I had a problem with this, but now I just laugh because if the only reason someone can come up with to denounce my gender or status as a man is based on getting to hangout with a bunch of cute girls and not watching football I think I'll manage. Once I realized I could be a sensitive guy and be accepted by some truly awesome friends I no longer felt the need to conform. I think guys and girls just need to be themselves (wow how cliche) but more importantly people need to accept people beyond these stereotypes and realize just because someone doesn't fit the "manly" description does not mean that they are less of a man. Also, a little off topic, but just want to clarify that I was not insulted when someone said I was gay, I just knew I that I wasn't and I was upset that people could not realize that not all straight men are "manly" and not all gay men are sensitive. I think if we all were just a little more open minded to the fact that sensitive guys and strong or powerful women are just as much of a man or woman as the "manly" or "girlie" ones, then we would suffer a lot less pressure to conform to the stereotypes.
As a male I can tell you that men do not try to conform to society as much as women do. True it is everybody’s human nature to fit in and be apart of a crowd however I do not think that men have it as bad or try as hard as women do in today’s society. Men kind of just do there own thing that don’t care what people think. I feel that the media plays a major role in this, the way the media plays a role is this way. One example is they take a perfect woman and put her on the cover of a magazine and that’s how it all starts. Then men start talking saying how she is perfect and that’s the kind of girl that I want etc and women hear this. After hearing this women believe that this is the right way or the only way to look so they try and changed their body to look like this. So that men will like them more. Another thing that the media does is it has articles about how celebrities or famous people have gotten to fat. When they really aren’t that fat they r just heaver then they once were so in other words there not perfect any more. Well teenagers and girls hear this and they say well if she is too fat that means i am defiantly to fat and she really isn’t that fat. So they become bulimic or anorexic. Now I may be wrong but I have never heard of a male becoming bulimic or anorexic before. And these are dangerous diseases, so if men aren’t doing it and women are then women defiantly try to conform to society more then men do. Now the next topic that I want to bring up is plastic surgery, there is so many different types of plastic surgery for women like breast implants, nose jobs, stomach tuck, etc. Now u always hear about women having all types of plastic surgery on their bodies but once again you never hear of men doing that. What it all comes down to is self-esteem, if a girl can look past the magazine covers, the television shows, and be happy with herself, then that is all that matters. But our society is so stuck on the "perfect" image that it has burned a hole in girl’s heads to make them think they will never be good enough when they are already great. Why do we leave it to Hollywood to tell us what is acceptable and what is not, the world is all about variety, not everyone likes the same things, or else this world would be bland. So women should just be themselves like men do and not let Hollywood or the media control their lives.
This was a very good video post and something I really haven’t thought of. I would say absolutely. Men are constantly trying to fit the image that the big companies and the media portray. It’s sickening that we as society can’t feel comfortable with ourselves because the media and “other factors” make us think we need to all look alike. I think this topic especially relates students in college we all want to fit in and feel accepted by our peers. You see it everywhere the gym, downtown, in the class room, everywhere. We should be happy with what we have been given because this is truly who we are. I don’t want to be like everyone else that what makes me who I am. I believe everyone feels this deep down inside but it is really hard to stay true to who you are while commercials are throwing “images” in our face. Instead of showing us before and after pictures of some women after she took fat burning pills why doesn’t the media commercialize self love and uniqueness? That would send a better message to our youth than what we have on television today.
Another thing that I actually didn’t think but I after I read a couple post agreed with also. Alcohol consumption is a big thing for men. This is a huge thing men feel they need to conform to especially while in college. You see all the people downtown having good times, it’s only natural for you to want to be a part of that. I think this subject is more related to men because I believe it’s a more social thing for men to drink than women when it comes to making friends
Also I wouldn’t be surprised if men are more critical of their bodies than women. Seriously I don’t know it’s just how I feel. I feel like we feel we have to be tone and defined and have a nice tan in order to get ladies it’s pathetic. Women want the Abercrombie model they want the all American image because that is what they see on TV and in magazines. Thanks big corporations because of you I now need to go to the gym 5 days a week fake tan and sculpt my hair as if it was going to be on display at an art museum. When’s it going to end when is the beer belly is going to come back into style haha.
But on a serious note big corporations really need to stop plugging into our heads that we all need to look alike. Love yourself love your features your personality everything because that is who you are no matter what they tell you.
Even though I am a woman, I think that there is just as much pressure on men to act certain ways and look certain ways just like there is with women. I think that men may not care as much as women do about what other people think about the way they look because they seem to be more content with themselves. Obviously I do not really know how men feel but this opinion just comes from observations I have made from male friends in my life. I am sure that there are some men that feel just as much pressure to fit the mold society casts for them to be macho or sensitive and other stereotypes.
I think that most guys feel like they need to fit in, at least a little bit, however for the most part I don't think we feel quite the same pressure as women. This is rather unfortunate and makes me rather angry-not that I wish men like myself felt more pressure, but that women face an unbelievable amount of scrutiny in their daily lives.
I was discussing after class with a female friend of mine how angry it made me to hear the people in class talking about dressing for guys, and feeling like they have to look good for men (or whoever they want to look good for). I certainly don't dress like a slob every day, but I also don't spend 10 minutes picking out my outfit. It's the same way with makeup for women, If women really do wear makeup only because they think they really need it, then that is ridiculous. Women shouldn't feel like they have to cover up their natural selves to look "ideal" or what they feel like is pretty. This is something that I particularly feel passionate about. That said, some women I know wear makeup because its fun or because they like to, and not because they feel they have to-I have absolutely no problem with that.
The one thing I do feel pressure about as a man is having a six-pack and sometimes also the fact I wear glasses. If you've seen me, its pretty obvious I don't have anything close to chiseled abs. That is pretty much the only thing I feel insecure about, and the thing I feel like is emphasized most by the media or more powerful men in the public view as being essential for the ideal man. In general, guys are expected to be strong, into sports, and in control of their emotions without showing them too often.
For instance, I love sports a lot, but am also very involved in music here at Penn State, so I am sometimes seen as not an ideal man. I also enjoy musical theatre, which is seen as more of a feminine trait. The picture of an ideal man in society doesn't allow for a man who loves sports, music, and musical theatre, so I am not exactly overly desired.
Watching the videos and reading the stories you hear about women doing crazy things to fit in proves that women have more pressure to fit into whatever society deems as the ideal woman; however men clearly go through similar pressures and that fact should not be forgotten. The one thing I will say is I don't think guys compare themselves to other guys nearly as often as girls do, but they do it occasionally. As long as the guy gets a girl, it doesn't matter as much to him how good the other guys look.
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Well, I’m a guy so I feel like this is a pretty good question for me to answer. To start, I think my answer would have to be no, I don’t feel that guys feel the same need to conform to society’s pressures as women do. A lot of people say that our society is dominated by men, and my guess would be that that has something to do with it.
From class, a few of the girls who spoke gave me the impression that they did feel the need to dress in certain ways so that they were accepted by men, women, and society. I think that there are some of the same types of pressures for men in a way. However, I think that these pressures kind of apply differently to men. For instance, I’ll start by saying that guys do think about what they’re wearing when they go out. They don’t just throw on the first thing they see and accept it – however, guys probably don’t feel the need to think about what they are wearing quite as much as girls do. I myself only think about two or three things when I’m dressing to go out at night. The first thing is, what kind of pants will I wear? And the second thing is what kind of shirt will I wear? Occasionally I will think about whether to wear a hat, or what kind of shoes I’m wearing, but not normally. That being said, I feel that it is much easier for guys to dress in the first place.
Girls, as I was able to (I think) tell from class, feel like they are very pressured when it comes to what to wear. Apparently girls worry about what their friends will think about their outfit, as well as taking in to consideration what guys will think of their outfit. From a guy’s perspective, I only take into consideration what I think about my outfit really. I feel like I can be the sole judge of the clothing on my body and that I can judge it well enough to not feel self conscious when I go out. Normally my friends won’t even comment on my outfit, so I don’t have to worry about what they think. And I think another real key point to this issue is the idea that girls don’t even really care what clothes guys have on. Some guys put too much thought into what they wear (I think) and wear Ed Hardy shirts, button downs on a nightly basis, etc. I’m not into dressing up like that, and I don’t think society requires it. However, some guys do feel that way, so I guess my real answer is that I think the pressure guys feel on how to dress from society varies from guy to guy.
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This is a great question in my opinion. Usually no one brings it up, but the discussion is very interesting. I think that most guys do feel compelled to conform to what society has shown is the way to be. That being said, I think most guys like to hide the fact that they do this, which in turn just means they are conforming to what someone mentioned in an earlier post; Men feel the need to be manly and compete with other men. This is where I think the discussion gets good because as much as it is society's norms for men to be this way, it is also biologically ingrained in our heads. Evolution has dictated that women seek mean with resources for the benefit of their young, and men seek out women to spread their seed and ensure the continuation of their lineage. I don't think its so much a conformity to society when men go out of their way to be macho. They are just doing their best to attract females, because they are biologically inclined to do so. That fact is only reinforced by a society that demands and portrays buff actors with lots of money and fame. As much as most men won't want to admit it, they do indeed go out of their way sometimes to conform. I think the only major difference is how much we allow other people to see. Women seem to have little problem showing off their new accessories and makeup and tanlines, whereas, barring a few anomalies with your Gym/Tan/Laundry guys, guys don't need to keep up an appearance as much. Some guys still like to look good, and most people hopefully at least take care of basic hygiene. However, guys aren't nearly as concerned with matching clothing, or keeping their hair in just that perfect way, or wearing the hottest latest brands. Take myself for example. I have no problem going out and buying a pair of jeans at the mall for 20 bucks. I'll wear those jeans anywhere. Most girls talk about going out and getting a sale on a pair of jeans for 40 or 50 bucks. Same basic look, i just care a lot less. I don't mind what name is on the tag of my jeans, I just want a pair that fits. its a small example, but It does demonstrate how some aspects of conformity differ between men and women.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that, in answer to the question, yes men feel compelled to conform to many different aspects of society, but I don't think that overall, men will ever go out of their way as a whole to show it more than women. There is nothing wrong with that, It's just my opinion on the matter.
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I definitely think that men have to conform to society just as much, if not more than women do. From a very young age, you learn what it is to be a man and how you are supposed to act. You have to be tough and not let your emotions show. Sports are a must. You have to like them and be good at them. The most popular kids growing up are almost always the best athletes. The kids who don't like sports or aren't good athletes are become the "losers" or whatever you want to call them. I'm not saying this is right, it's just how it is. And women aren't the only ones who have to worry about body image. I think men actually have more pressure when it comes to how our bodies look. Fat isn't a good look for either sex. But women are expected to just be skinny. That doesn't work for guys though. We can't be fat or skinny. Guys are expected to be muscular. I'm not saying girls don't go to the gym or don't put in work to make their bodies look better, but their work in the gym is easier than guys'. And when it comes dressing, men do not have quite the pressure or accessories to deal with that women do, but we definitely have standards to meet. We are expected to wear the "cool" styles and whatever fad is in. As we got older and girls came into the picture, the pressure is bigger than ever. Whatever guy gets the most girls or has the hottest girlfriend is the one that everybody else wants to be. And if you're not getting the girls, then you're getting made fun of.
Another big pressure that men face is success in the real world. Men are expected to make a lot of money and be able to support their family. Everyone wants to live in a nice, safe neighborhood where their kids can grow up in a friendly environment. I don't want to paint women as gold diggers, but a woman is more likely to go for a man who is financially set and secure, knowing they can live comfortably. (This is where all the kids who weren't good at sports and studied instead get their revenge). Seriously though, women often complain that it is so hard to be a woman and that they have so many pressures and such hard standards. I do not disagree with that at all. But being a man is no easy task either. It's kind of sad that society has such high standards for people. Perfection is the ultimate image that everyone tries to reach. And whether you're a Hollywood star, a millionaire businessman, or whatever, no one can ever be perfect.
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The answer to this, well my answer to this, is absolutely not. If we were to conform to society, every guy would try to look skinny but built right? Well speaking for myself, I am a “plump” guy, and really could care less what I look like. Yeah maybe some people judge me differently, but I couldn’t give two shits about what they think. I do think that it is unfair how society thinks differently about men and women, and how I am often more accepted than a woman of my same stature. But yeah to answer your question, I don’t really wake up in the morning and think, “I need to get real skinny or real ripped or wear this or that to feel accepted.”
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As a guy I know that girls have it much tougher in this life. I saw a poster once that had Marilyn Monroe on it and the quote was “I don’t mind being in a man’s world, as long as I am a woman in it.” And what she said is right, this is a man’s world and women are dealing with that. I as a man want to be accepted and feel the pressure to be one of the guys or to fit into society and be part of the majority but, it is nothing along the lines of what it seems as what women have to face. To the best of my knowledge it seems as if women are struggling with body issues, self confidence issues, and issues with the media at a much higher rate than men. Look at any magazine stand throughout the country and you will see “perfect” women, super skinny, voluptuous breasts, and amazingly beautiful. Women see this and think that this is what they need to look like, what is the norm and what every guy wants.
I feel as if most guys are more comfortable with themselves and don’t feel the pressure that most women are facing with issues seen in such as these. Girls dress up and try to look perfect, but most guys don’t really care how perfect you look, guys don’t care what a girl is wearing and a lot of the time like their girls dressed down, but still women continue to dress up and put too much pressure on themselves to be perfect or look like those girls on the covers of magazines. Men on the other hand don’t really feel these pressures to be perfect in your looks and don’t feel the need to dress up and be perfect for anyone else. Although men don’t feel as much pressure to be just like that guy on the cover of the magazine, they feel pressure in other areas such as being “the man” being strong, unemotional, and above all else tough. Everyone feels the pressure to be a part of the majority whether you are a man or a woman.
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I think that men do feel pressure to conform to the norms of society. This may not be to the extent that women feel pressure, but men do feel pressure nonetheless. Women feel more pressure than men because the pressure is more visible. Good-looking women populate the main stream. They appear in television shows, movies, commercials, and are often even those with other talents. They are often high-profile singers or perform in other occupations at the center of the public's eye. Men often first judge a women on how they look. It is a plain and simple fact. No matter how much people may debate this matter, it most often comes down to looks. That is not to say that personality cannot make a female more desirable as a potential mate, however, for the initial interest to be shown, looks are often the most important factor, as looks are the most visible factor. For women, men are attractive based on a blend between looks and personality in much more of a balance. With men, looks tip the scales significantly, however for women, it is often a very even split between the two factors. This is very apparent in contemporary society. If one looks around, they will find a much higher proportion of attractive women dating unattractive men than unattractive women dating attractive men. This is due to the nature of males and females. To get back to the question of whether men feel pressure to conform, one should just look at the current styles. Back in high school, when a trend was started that a "popular kid" started to follow, slowly but surely the vast majority of males would soon follow in suit. This can be seen from the trends of preppy clothing, to popping one's collar, to wearing Vans shoes. Another example can be found here at school itself. When going to one's first party at school, one might not know how to dress. However, after attending a couple of parties, it becomes apparent that most males wear jeans and a t-shirt or a button down shirt. This causes one to adhere to this norm so that one does not stand out. One can also see this by talking to women. Men generally want to dress in a way that attracts a women, so if women like a certain clothing style or a certain body type, then men are going to try and obtain those things. For example, in today's society, it is evident that women tend to like athletic men with toned muscles and flat abs. This spurs men to go to the gym and to work out. While it is true that many men work out just to get into better shape, it is also apparent, at least in part, that men try to get into good shape so that they will become more attractive to women. This is an interesting topic.
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Believe it or not, males experience the same emotions females do! You see men trying to be everything their favorite bodybuilder is. They exercise excessively and lift weights as if their life depends on it! They go on protein diets, drink those powder drinks to suppress their appetite. People like this guy from Jersey shore..Mike "The situation” he is set on his physical appearance. Not only him, but the other guys in the house have the same mindset! They spend hours doing their hair in the mirror and i have not stood next to them but I believe if I do they will smell as if they poured a bottle of cologne on their body. So yeah, guys get carried away with the whole self image thing.
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This is funny because I was just having this conversation with my friend. Just on this campus (but definitely not limited to- I see this phenomena everywhere) I see so many pretty girls with not so good looking guys. There have been so many times where I will see a great girl—good personality, body, looks etc. with a chubby guy or a really different looking guy that does not fit the “pretty boy” stereotype. I think a lot of it is based off of the fact that girls really take personality into consideration. If a guy isn’t good-looking, but he is funny—automatic in. If a guy isn’t muscular, but he’s sweet—automatic in. There are so many things that girls look for, and being “hot” is but a small, minor aspect. When I talk to guys, they say , hands down, looks are the majority of what they look for. Let’s be serious, if a girl is chubby and not very attractive (in the cookie cutter “beautiful” stereotype) is a guy even going to take a second look at her? No. Maybe she will be put in the friend category, but that is as far as it will go. Perhaps a certain type of guy tries to fit these impossible standards that magazines/Hollywood gives—by getting “big” or being tan or wearing nice clothes, but there is no way it even levels to the amount that girls put into their appearance and body image.
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Not being a man I'm not sure but I think it is sort of easier for men when it comes to image. I think women are a little bit more accepting of the men in our lives. I think we look at personality before looks more than men to towards us. Also when you look in the media and on the cover of the magazines you rarely see the men it is more women, unless it is like GQ or something. Guys can be heavy and this could make them more lovable like a teddy bear, when a woman is heavy though it seems like she becomes less desirable to men.
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I definitely feel like everybody including men feel the need to conform to society. Insecurity is something that everyone deals with and seemingly the only way that we have learned to deal with it is to fit in with the crowd. I guess instead of men having to be skinny and have big boobs, were supposed to be macho and have big muscles. Also conformity is definitely seen a lot in the way people dress, and for the most part at places like Penn State men and women tend to dress like each other. Unfortunately this does not seem like a fixable issue and it will probably continue very long time.
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I believe men feel the need to conform to what society says; although I don’t believe many men will explicitly admit it (it’s probably a pride thing or something). When we see reality TV shows on MTV or hear what’s in style and what’s not or see how certain guys get girls based on their outer appearance, most, if not, all of those give us an inner drive to conform no matter what the cost may be. One of my friends asked me after class if guys ever have a self-image problem like girls do. As aforementioned, I think we guys do but we don’t talk about it.
It’s ridiculous to see how the media portrays men: guys have to wear deodorant that will get not just one girl, but all the girls; guys have to be shirtless while riding a white horse backwards (relating to an Old Spice commercial); guys have to drink the right beer, wear the right clothing, have that million-dollar smile, and so much more. Women aren’t the only people affected by the media in the realm of self-image; men, too, have insecurities of what they should look like and can easily forget what inner beauty means. Sadly we live in a fallen world.
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I think that girls feel the pressure more from society on how to dress. Girls take much longer to get ready and go out than guys do, and therefore I think that they feel the pressure more. Guys can pretty much just throw on a shirt and jeans and be accepted. Girls, however, have the issue of doing their hair, doing their nails/toenails, what shoes to wear (heels/not heels), whether to wear a dress, pants, or a skirt, and the list goes on. Honestly, I feel bad for girls because of all of this, but I definitely appreciate being a guy and how easy it is for me to get ready to go out at night.
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I do feel that men too think of their bodies in the same way that women do, they may not make a big deal about it and openly say that there are certain things that they are uncomfortable with or wish they could change, but I think the same feelings still exist. Men and women both see images of perfectly sculpted bodies in magazines targeted towards their gender and it really shouldn’t be a surprise that men obsess over being as close to perfect as possible like their female counterparts. I have seen guys who obsess over exercise and caloric intake, in hopes of putting on muscle mass. The thing is that guys are a lot more private and keep body image matters more personal, in many cases at least. I remember watching true life: I want the perfect body or something like that where this guy submersed himself with images of perfection as his goal image. What really surprised me was for him it wasn’t just about muscle, it was everything from making sure he had zero body hair (which was a little weird) to the clothes he put on his back and even the way he smelled. This guy is obviously an extreme case, but even still there are a good amount of men out there that feel they have to live up to the media’s standard of masculine. Even in reality t.v. men are always portrayed as the macho guy who is an asshole that gets all the girls, which in reality does happen too and I do feel that it is a result of these shows. Male body image and overall appearance, like females does not stop at acceptance from the opposite sex. As mentioned in class, looking around penn state one can easily observe that everyone is pretty much wearing the same thing in one way or another and it is especially the case for males. Appearance and acceptance go hand in hand across genders from relationships to friendships. The comparison between male and female points to many more similarities than one would think. I can see why this question was asked. There are tons of statistics out there about female body image and the negativity faced in a world laced with advertisements. Information is there, but nothing is really said about the effects to a male and his body image. The same messages are there, but when turning to males the issues are often overlooked. The problem in both cases is, these images are always airbrushed and photo shopped. Everyone knows this, weather male or female, but we still make the decision to want so badly what, in many cases is beauty (and an image) that is clearly unattainable.
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I’d have to say men definitely have to try to conform to society. Just look around the classroom and look at all the bro’s trying to be cool. I’m a male and I’d like to think I wouldn’t convert to society, but I try to go to the gym every other day and honestly, I would have to say this is to “look good”. I like to think it’s because I care about my health but it’s really just me trying to get that slick beach body. I feel like females are more pressured to conform but males definitely are supposed to fit in. Not only physically but males have to act a certain way in front of their friends, compared to in front of the ladies.
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I am not a man and I can’t speak for men. I have a lot of guy friends, and I think that men do conform to what society wants them to be like. I feel this way because all guys try to fit in just as much as women do it is not just as talked about. I feel that men want to look like the models in the magazines, that’s why they have male models as well. I haven’t met a guy that didn’t care about how they looked they might not ask each other how they look. I have many guy friends and they always ask me how they look before they go out. I don’t think it is a big deal for men to want to look good when they go out, they shouldn’t just throw anything on and not care about what they look like. The only difference is women obsess about how they look and men don’t.
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Women care to conform to a much greater degree than most men. For the majority of girls, other peoples’ opinions matter. In order to avoid any negative attention, they put a lot of effort into being normal, and being what other people want them to be. The media tells people around the U.S. that the normal, well perfect rather, girl is skinny, tan, wears a lot of makeup: beautiful. This is what most of us strive to be in order to be normal, be cool, and fit in.
I also find that men are more judgmental about girls than girls are about guys. I used to work with a guy who would constantly make comments such as 'check out the ass on that ugly girl.' I’ve also heard comments from random guys using sarcasm when associating a larger girl and attractiveness. Being surrounded by this on a day-to-day basis, I begin to feel more self-conscious about myself; realizing that if guys are judging random girls passing by, then I'm being regularly judged as well. I've never been in a situation where I, nor any of my friends, gave such a back handed compliment or rudely whispered among my friends, pointing out physically unattractive people. For the most part, we'd say something along the lines of, 'he's cute… check him out…etc.' By pointing out a specific guy and giving him positive attention, we’re boosting self-esteem, not crushing it.
After puberty girls’ body image becomes extremely important because we are finally growing into ourselves and weight often fluctuates for the first several years. It's an uncomfortable stage for many girls. However boys don't have to deal with the ups and downs of body image. Biologically, they have more muscle than fat, and tend to be overall satisfied with their changing appearance during puberty.
Media has portrayed more physically attractive women than physically attractive men over the past several decades, but recently, we see many more men on the cover of magazines. A certain ideal body shape is being presented through the media for guys, making them increasingly susceptible to conformity and causing them to care more about their body image.
It's almost pathetic, but I have to admit that my boyfriend and I talk on webcam and complain to one another about our bodies. 'I need to tighten my stomach' 'I need to put on 10 pounds.' Back and forth, we continue to nag because of the pressures we experience from our society today. We are all trying to conform and be this perfect superficial being, which in reality, doesn’t even exist. I think it’s cool that boys are beginning to experience the feeling though, now they can understand how hard it is for girls to deal with all of this pressure. Hopefully, people like the guy I worked with will quit being so immature and realize they’re no where near perfect themself.
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I feel that Men themselves have a lot to conform to, to society standards, to men's ideal vision of pride, to the media, to the flow of what is to be expected in Men, and the ideal vision of what a man represents. I went through so many pressures of trying to fit in the norms and pressure of being the ideal man in society. In media and to the public of this nation, the ideal man is someone who is strong, courageous, confident, athletic, protective, aggressive, and charming to women. As i skim over pages of magazines such a sports illustrated and power house, i see pictures and description of men who are well dressed, handsome, popular and secured in both state of mind and physical aspects. Through out grade school and even till now, i been trying to fit that persona and be that kind of man. I struggled everyday to fit that criteria by going to the gym, hanging out with peers who fit that description of man, and always to exert myself in becoming best in sports. Through the trails of achieving perfection in men hood, i have gone through many pain and suffering. In Tuesday class, we were given a performance of a skit, which consisted of three girls, the girls acted out a scenario where a girl is about to get a boob adjustment and her friend is trying to convince her not to get it and save it for others who really do need it. Her friend refuses to listen and argues with her friend and the third girl is trying to speed things up with no care at all. Basically both friends get hurt and walk away from each other. Scratching the boob part, but that kind of scenario is the same with men as well. There are men who went out to do drugs such as steroids in order to perform and be the best in sports and have a looks of a "manly" man.I have friends who went through that case and i have been hurt and eventually my friend go hurt. The media, our culture, and view points of men and women is what brings so many insecurities in both male and females. Men, just like women, are constantly aware of themselves and what the appear. They change themselves in order to be fit in society image of what men and women should look like. Through that process of fitting the image, males grow through my trials of pain and hopelessness in order to meet the standards. It brings stress and pain and blinds males of seeing what is really in front of them, they are perfect no matter what people or the media tells them.
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Being a guy, I don’t feel any type of pressure to try to fit it or conform myself to be the norm. I personally feel like girls always see other girls with great bodies or whatever they see in them and want to be the same and try to change themselves to be that way. Personally, if I see a guy that is jacked or cut, all I say is good for them. They worked hard and got the results they wanted. I don’t care very much about how I look. I was made a certain way and that’s the way I am supposed to be. I have no problems with anything when it comes to body figure and being comfortable with myself. I couldn’t really care what other people think about me and I think that is the problem with females. I think they care too much about how other people judge them and what people think about their looks. I think it is a lot about personality and not so much looks. When I hang out with a girl I am a huge fan of them wearing sweatpants and not trying to impress and get all dressed up. To me it doesn’t matter.
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When guys go out at night, we throw on a shirt, some pants and shoes and maybe some guys do a little something to their hair. Girls get dressed, do their makeup for hours, their hair and then go. It is just a completely different lifestyle that one can compare to the other. Being a girl seems very tough through a guy’s point of view and being a guy seems like the easiest thing if you ask a girl. And to be honest it kind of is. One thing I think that guys try to fit in with is sports. It sounds dumb, but when there is a super bowl party you don’t want to be that guy sitting in your bedroom when everyone else is watching the game, drinking and having a great time. Other than that, I don’t see the need to fit in. Everyone is different and you accept that you cannot be like someone else. You will never be that model you see on the magazines.
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I do not walk around campus see other guys in the gym or on magazine covers and be like “wow I need to be like them.” It isn’t something that goes through my head. The only reason I run or try to stay in shape is for health reasons, not to look good and impress everyone else. If you cannot accept someone cause they look different, then the person judging doesn’t deserve to hang out with you.
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There's a huge tendency to conform for both males and females. As far as media and the magazines go, I think it's safe to say they target both genders. Many people think that what sells is what they should conform to, that the image is to be emulated. It's been apparent that sex sells for a while now, and it's not about promoting good health as much as it's about selling sexuality, by exposing the human body. I think woman face more scrutiny when it comes to their bodies, because popular images do not represent what all woman look like. So long as people look to popular images to conform to their standards, and as long as people feel the need to conform to their peers, this mass conformation will continue to exist, for both males and females.
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Additional Blog#1
Men may not be as quick as women to conform to the whims of society, but they do conform. Everyone will conform to something at point in their life. No one on this earth completely believes that they are perfect. However, because society points out the flaws of women so quickly and more frequently, it would appear that men have absolutely nothing to worry about.
So wrong! Just like women compare themselves to other women, men constantly compare themselves to other men. Whether it be athletic abilities, clothing, shoes, intelligence, or anything, mean always running a ridiculous race to better than the guy next to them. There is always some guy who thinks that if he works out more, than he will get more women. There is always a guy who assumes that if he is sweeter than next guy, he will be looked at as a better ladies man. There is also a guy who believes that if he works harder or is smarter than another guy, he will receive more in life. Men are very insecure creatures. However, the secret to their success of hiding their insecurities is just to pretend that what another guy is doing does not matter at all. But yet, we all know that even men feel the need to fix something about themselves.
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Society sees no color or sees no gender. Society creates limits for us all, yes including us males. Men tend to be less open about trying to live up to society’s standard. Women have this belief that men do not face these challenges or these struggles. I believe men have been better at swinging right back at society. For letting society know that they have to accept the variety and men have learned to embrace their true self. Women, have this same potential but the majority of them allow their bodies and lives to be shaped by society. One year society wants skinny girls with small chest and the next year thick girls.
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This question is interesting because I found that when I was writing my other blog comment that dealt with body image and being influenced by the media, I kept saying girls and not including boys into the issues. However I don't think that they aren't affected, I just think that we so often associate body image and the idea of conforming to an ideal with women. Just looking around at the similar outfits worn by men, it’s easy to see that they conform their image from some type of ideal style as well. Also, although being skinny may not be as much of an issue, guys are always trying to bulk up and get muscles. Human nature creates a tendency for people, of both genders to care about their appearance. Through caring about their appearance, the image that the media puts out can't help but play a role in determining how people want to look.
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I think we all have ways of wanting to fit in. Sam was saying that everyone in the class in someway or another is not completley dressing in a way that they want without influence. I thought i didnt really care what anyone thought of what i wore, and i was right for the most part. But then i took into account the jewelery and the sneakers i was wearing. My dad had earrings so i wanted them when i was little, same thing with my braclet and my watch, ive just wanted to be like my father from a young age and that may have transitioned into my style and where i "fit in" looks wise.
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kenthethird Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 12:35 pm
Well, I wouldn't call trying to adopt some of your father's style as "conforming to society". Your not getting your ideas from a popular image, rather your family. I feel like most people look to an image that is unattainable, or try to emulate someone who they have no connection with. Societal trends change so quickly that what was hot 5 years ago isn't hot now. In the realm of personal style, I feel like your not conforming to society unless you've changed your image because of the people in you're generation. My father has had a style that's been established for years, I feel like it's the younger generations that feel the need to emulate eachother and confomr to certain looks.
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Finally someone asks about if men feel the need to fit a certain stereotype in order to fit in. We have been discussing about how women have to be a certain shape or size in order to feel good about themselves and I was wondering when someone was going to ask the question. I think that men definitely feel like they need to be a certain way in order for them to be more accepted by society. In my discussion group last week we briefly discussed how gay and Jewish people ordinarily do not fit into the same subject as sports. I never really thought about this until a guy in my group that is Jewish spoke up. He said that when he was in high school and enjoyed sports and wanted to play that his father said to him that his position in a game should be a spectator because he is Jewish. That statement kind of struck me hard. I know that some men do not want to participate in sports when they are gay because they do not want to get picked on in the locker room and do not want to be outcaste as the gay jock, but I never knew that Jewish people felt that they do not fit in sports.
Back to the original question I believe that all men starting during puberty feel the need that if they are big and bulk they will fit in the popular crowd and won’t have any trouble picking up the ladies. Speaking for myself even though I am not a big gym guy, I feel that people will approach me differently if I am clean cut and more muscular than the average Joe Schmoe. I think that society puts this image in our heads that we need to be when we are young through tabloids and celebrities. Television is overly watched in our society and for the most part you see this stuff right there. Saved by the Bell and Family Matters explains it all, Zach and Slater are always competing for the ladies while Screech constantly tries to fall in love with Lisa Turtle. Urcle constantly tries to get Laura, but doesn’t really get her until he transforms himself into a muscular, buff, alter-ego Stefan. We watch these things as kids and feel the need that we cannot be that schrony nerd in school and need to be the star of the team that gets all the cheerleaders. It’s not just on television but it’s all around us. When you walk on campus for the most part you see these different groups among our peers. Usually people of their same status hang together when they are out or on campus. Just trying to extend that effort to be a part of a group can make you get embarrassed and can be a total loss of self-esteem. Don’t get me wrong not everyone is like this but when people are in large groups they tend to stick to the “prototype” of how they classify themselves. To be a man you need to have that Incredible Hulk physique as well as a love for sports and especially be able to pick up the ladies.
My girlfriend’s mother shared a story with me about how she went to her 20 year class reunion and was glad to see that the high school nerd which everyone picked on became most successful and is an aero-technician with NASA. In school he always got picked on and now she said he has a beautiful wife and kids. The person that always picked on him got the award for most DUI’s since graduation. Makes you think about how you should act towards peers while you’re young.
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I think that the answer to this question, and the pressure felt by a guy from society on how to dress, is based on the perception and mindset of the guy, and can vary greatly from one guy to another. There are guys like me and most of my friends who don’t seem to feel a lot of pressure. Then, there are guys like one of my roommates who I think feels a lot of pressure. He takes a while to get ready, wears a lot of button downs, etc. Also there are guys like kids in my fraternity who wear button downs all the time, gel their hair, and do all kinds of things that I think are unnecessary.
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Guys are always conforming to society just like women. What’s one thing that everyman really wants, they want to have a job, a girlfriend for the most part, and be happy. Well I tell you not everyone wants to be working in an office building and a lot of people do so they are conforming right there. You ever go out at night and see guy dressed in jeans and a button down theirs an example. If you ever walk into a gym and see a bunch of guys working the glamour muscles, which are the arms and chest then yeah, they are. Guys are just as worried about what girls think about them they just don’t have to care as mush because well there are guys.
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I think that most men feel the need to conform to society just as women do. This comes from one of the basic human instincts to “fit in.” For the most part, people do not want to be viewed as strange or weird. Therefore, they act, dress, and try to look a certain way in order to appear normal. People make a big deal about how women feel the need to conform to society. For example, women feel pressured to be rail-thin and have long flowing hair because they see models in magazines and commercials with the same look. However, I think the fact that men feel the need to conform is overlooked.
One of the main stereotypes of men is the “macho” characteristic. This persona is thought to be tough, strong, and good-looking. He also likes sports and loves good-looking women. This kind of stereotype is the kind you see all over TV, whether it be in commercials or shows. For example, body wash and shampoo companies like Old Spice portray men that are well built and attractive. By using these men, the companies are conveying two images. One is easily visible, while the other is subtler. First of all, they want men around the country to think “Wow, these men use Old Spice and they are considered great all-around guys. Maybe I should use it too.” The second message is “Old Spice is using men that look like this to sell their products. Maybe I should try to look like that because that is the ‘ideal’ man.”
I think this all comes down to how men want to be viewed by women. For the most part, men would like to be attractive to the opposite sex. It is primal human nature to appeal to a mate. Therefore, when they see good-looking men on TV, they feel like they need to act and dress and look like these men. If men are watching a movie with their girlfriends and a good-looking actor comes on the screen and the girlfriend goes “Oh my god, he’s so hot,” don’t you think the boyfriend is thinking to himself “Damn, I need to workout to look like him/do my hairstyle like his/wear the kind of clothes he has on.” People may not acknowledge it, but men feel very similar pressures to conform to society that women do. The reason that it is a more serious issue for women is that by conforming to society also means getting skinny, which can bring on certain health risks like malnutrition or eating disorders. Thankfully, men do not have to sacrifice their health in order to look like the all-American guy. However, there could be a point in the future where they may feel the need.
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In a way I feel like males try to conform to what society thinks but no where near what females have to go through. As a male when I turn on the T.V., I usually see products directed at women. From skin moisturizers to make up and so on, and they tell everyone that if you don't look like the models they use then they aren't beautiful. For products directed towards men which aren't many, they use deodorants and body wash and other "manly" products. In their commercials they show the men in these commercials surrounded by beautiful women and they clearly paint the picture of what women want and what it takes to get that attractive women. I personally don't pay much attention to the hundreds of ads I see every day and I don't think a huge percentage of all men really get caught up in it.
While growing up I had some issues about fitting in but I don't think that I would let it rule me and make me want to act a different way. I would dress certain ways some days of the week and others I would dress different to impress different groups of friends. Since then I am a lot more independent and don't really care if people act a certain way because they are required to according to the media.
I think this is what makes America great. You can dress or act anyway you wish because of freedom of speech. But as the media poisons young men and woman's minds and making them that they need to listen to what ever is told by them to be beautiful is very sad. I really think women are effected because when you turn on the T.V. or read through magazines the "critics" are very hard on the women. When males leave the house they put on a t-shirt and shirts and they hear nothing about it but if a female was to do that they would be looked at with a strange look.
Men are supposed to be very muscular and women are supposed to be really skinny, and I'm really confused how we came to this point. When Laurie was in our class and we watched the play, it really made me think. A women with a voluptuous body is now frowned upon and is looked upon as wrong. I just can't grasp the concept, people are actually committing suicide because they don't fit in a group or don't look a specific way. Everyone brings something to this world and we need to stop basing everything off of looks and what we can do to fit into the eyes of the media. Beauty comes in many different shapes and sizes and as soon as we recognize this we will all be better off.
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I am a male, and I believe there is still a pressure to conform to societies standards, however not to the same degree as women. One example is the amount of men who see it as pivotal to lift weights everyday in order to fit in with the general idea that muscles are attractive, and being skinny is exactly the opposite. I find it baffling that men who don't even compete in sporting activity still find it necessary to spend 2 hours a day lifting weights purely to conform to a sought after image of attractiveness. This is a clear example of men under pressure to reach the standards set by society.
Secondly, in male friendship groups there is a huge amount of pressure to be with a girl that is accepted by his friends, in many instances it is only when a males friends confirm that the girl he is seeking is attractive that he attempt to make that girl his girlfriend. If friends make jokes about the situation I know men will go against their feelings. There is an incredible amount of pressure amongst male friendship groups to find a girl who satisfies the standards of the group.
However, despite this I also feel girls tend to place higher importance on following societies norms. Perhaps this is because women are given more to worry about by society. For example a man simply needs to be in good shape and stick on jens and a t-shirt. For girls, they are constantly thinking about make up, clothing, accessories, hair style/color. Furthermore girls have more pressure among society to follow sexual rules, their is more of a distinct line that societies suggests girls should follow, whereas for guys they can pretty much go about as they pleased without judgment, when it comes to sexual activity.
Much is however the same, men must conform to a macho image of muscles and limited emotion, and girls have to conform to the skinny, fault-free looks set by societies magazines/films ect. The main result of these levels set by society is a feeling of insecurity, and the reason I feel it is worse for women is simply because a higher standard is set by society. Men are sometimes portrayed as care free, and clumsy, obnoxious and arrogant. Whereas, in respect to women, more often than not females in the media are almost always made to llook perfect. It is acceptable for a man to fall short on looks, but make up for it by humor for instance, whereas for women there is a much higher importance on perfect looks. Furthermore, it is also true that women do pay significantly more attention to the media image expected of them. Millions more women buy magazines related to looks, and whereas male television programmes are sterotypically about cars or comedies, majority girl programmes are usually filled by incredibly attractive girls, such as 'the hills' 'the o.c.' 'the kardashians' and so on.
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Guys are just as shaped as women by socialization, and we feel the need to conform, but it simply shows itself in different ways. Men do not have to look sexy like women do, but men are still mocked if they over dress or if they dress gothic or something. We are also subject to other social standards like having to be strong all the time, and needing to be providers. This has made stay at home dads a taboo institution, and inversely it has hurt women in the job market. Men may not have some of the same issues and disadvantages as women, but having the advantages has a down side in that if one is not as strong as one should be or a provider like society says we should be, then we are shunned in society and don't have respect in society. I am not saying I don't like the perks, but the perks do come with a down side. So that is my answer, men face social constraints and pressures, but they are very different from the ones women face.
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theglory Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 8:31 pm
Men and women do face completely different ways to conform. Common stereotypes for men include showing no emotion, not partaking in any “feminine activity”, and being the person who brings home the bacon. Even at school, I knew a guy who broke up with his girlfriend because he was stuck in the shadows behind her. She was really involved on campus and he was too, but not nearly as much. The stereotype way of conforming to society definitely played a role in their break up. I think it was stupid, but it just goes to show you how hard people try to conform to the suggested norm.
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Good question. It’s actually pretty funny this question was posted, because I was recently thinking that all we do is talk about womanhood, being a woman and women conforming to society. We very rarely ever talk about manhood and what not. It doesn’t really bother me personally, but I am just curious why it hasn’t been talked about. I feel as though it should be discussed as it relevant. While there are the same or similar societal pressures for men to conform, it is not as intense or obvious as it is with women. It seems as though society is much quicker to judge and to point out the flaws in women or perhaps women are simply more conscientious. Men maybe do not pay as much attention to the products and what not they see on television or wherever. I mean how often do you really hear of some dude getting plastic surgery, moisturizing their skin, or going to the lengths that women do to perfect their look? But yes, men too are concerned to some extent with the way they look and if they are found attractive. Rather than the material aspects of conforming, such as clothing brands and what not, which are more prominent with women, I feel as though men are more concerned with their physical body image. Men sometimes get carried away with lifting weights and exercising, because muscular is in most cases what is seen as attractive. Men not only want to be healthy, they want to “look good,” which correlates to high self esteem. Naturally, people do not want to the outcast. Yet, as people have mentioned, it is nothing new for men to want to fit in and to prove themselves as more “manly” than or to compete with the next dude. It has happened throughout history, among almost all creatures/animals, and in many different ways. That said, the degree to which men are affected by these pressures again depends on the individual. It varies from person to person. Yet, on some level we are all conforming, even though at times we may or may not realize it. And although it is cliché, it is “human nature” – whatever that means – to want to fit in and to be liked/loved. When it comes down to it, from a biological standpoint, men are more concerned with what women want, as they simply want to attract a suitable mate. Someone also mentioned that men do not really want to admit that they are conforming to society. It is funny, because it is true that men are much more quite about doing so. And in not admitting that they are conforming, they are conforming because it is not “manly” or whatever to admit that you base your image off of someone else.
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i feel that no matter what, that every guy in the world conforms some way to fit into society. i am from the so called boondocks, and i usually wear camo and boots and so on when i am in my home town. but when i go out to the city near us or to state college i feel though as i have to "dress up" so that i kind of fit in. i mean i know thats bad but until people can get comfortable with how people wear their clothes weather it be a Muslim or a country kid then i dont se people not trying to fit in.
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To answer her question, I would say that as a whole, men don’t feel the need to conform to society anywhere near the degree that women do. Women are much more vain and self-conscious and are easily influenced by the depictions of beauty portrayed in film, television, magazines and all other forms of media. Women feel pressured to conform to these ideals and norms because those examples are essentially what beauty has been defined as to both genders. Women also adopt a greater sense of “competition” amongst each other in terms of searching for mates – often men with paternal traits. Men, meanwhile, place less emphasis on this search and are by nature a more isolated and individual group. Women feel they need to do whatever they can to acquire these men, and the competition amongst each other is so strong that women often have to correspond with the characteristics and traits of this wide-held beauty.
Additionally, men tend to age worse than women, so I think men are more likely to relax with their look, knowing that someday soon (usually starting in their mid- to late-20s) their age will take over. Men with receding hair lines are very accepted in our society, and don’t often face public backlash or humiliation for it. So many men “suffer” from it, but it’s an accepted rite of passage, so to speak. Meanwhile, women that suffer from something like sagging breasts are looked at differently. Sure, it’s similar in that it comes with age, but it’s also considered much more unattractive. This may not make sense, but let me get back to the point…
I am a very vain 20-year-old, and I don’t try to hide it. I care about how I look, I care about my style and the clothes I wear, and I care about how my body looks. I go to the gym often, in part for the health benefits that come with physical fitness, but more so just to make my body a little more sculpted and more appealing to women. I’m not ashamed in saying that. I know there are many more male gym-goers that are the same way, and certainly plenty of women too. When I see “ideal” looking men, I’m sure I subliminally take mental notes of a way to look. I don’t do it consciously, but obviously I got the idea that ripped muscles look good from somebody with them, right?
I think the reason men don’t conform as much to these traits portrayed in the media is because, like I said earlier, men are a more isolated and individual group, and are more likely to “pave their own roads,” so to speak. Men like to blazon their own trails and lead the way for others, and often that means experimenting in different looks or quite simply just looking, doing, and wearing what feels good – regardless of whether the opposite sex will be attracted to them or not.
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Although I am not a male myself, I strongly believe that males to go through the same pressure of looking physically perfect as females do. However I do think that the issue of appearance is more publicly displayed and known for females than it is for males. I think that most men are better able to hide this concern about their physical appearance than females are, that is also why I believe that it seems so much more of a bigger deal for females. I know many males that are very concerned about the physique; some who are very thin and try taking protein shakes that contain several hundred calories in order to gain weight and then work out at the gym to be muscular, there are also men who are over weight that stress out about trying to loose weight and be musclar like the men they see on television. All in all I feel that concerns about appearence are just as relavent in men as it is in women.
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Absolutely. All the cultural pressures that we put on the expectations of what it is to be a “man” or “woman” are faced by everyone. The expectations are brought to light when the little boy who only wants to play with the girls at recess rather than rough sports with the boys, and when the girl who hates wearing bras; it’s just that we (girls and boys) face different expectations or societal pressures. Men are supposed to be manly and not express their emotions while females are supposed to be mild mannered. Sometimes it’s difficult to see the pressures that the other gender faces simply because we’re imposing the expectations and not receiving them.
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theglory Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 8:25 pm
I couldn’t of said it better myself. You honestly hit the nail on the head. It’s hard to see the ways of conformity of the opposite sex because every sex sees a different perspective. We do all play apart in establishing the norm and how everyone should act. This limits individuality, creativity and independence. The people who choose not to conform get a lot of slack and it’s unfair. Not every men could be a six feet tall and 200 pounds and not show any emotion. The same goes with female norms and stereotypes. Hopefully in the near future, conforming will eventually mean just being yourself.
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I definitely think that men do not feel the need to conform to society as much as women. Women, at least based on appearance, tend to go all out when it comes to what they look like in relation to other girls. I think for men, or at least for me personally, it is less about what the latest and greatest trend is and more just about being happy with myself. I don’t really care what other people think about the way I dress, or wear my hair, or whether I shave or not. I guess a lot of my “personal” decisions that I make regarding these things are probably based on society’s pressures, but I don’t think that the pressure put on me is more than the pressure put on most girls.
Girls, for whatever reason, seem to feel the need to conform more than guys do. I think that there are a lot of girls that would rather not put on make-up, or shave their legs, or dress the way that they do, but because of the pressures put on them by society, they do it anyway. I don’t know why this is and I definitely don’t think it is fair, but it is the way it is. As Sam has pointed out many times this semester, it isn’t fair, but it is definitely a man’s world. It is more so becoming more of an equal world lately, especially in relation to history, but there is definitely a lot of room for improvement in the world to get to a point of gender equality.
I think men feel the majority of their pressures based around how in shape they are in. It might not necessarily be what they are wearing, but the largest part of it probably comes from the pressure of physical appearance. Men are always “comparing sizes” with other men. If one guy gets something new, more often than not, his friends are going to be jealous and want whatever it is for them as well. It is the same with physical fitness. For the most part, every guy wants to be the most in shape person around. If you’re at the beach, you want to have the most ripped abs and the biggest arms when you take off your shirt. This is definitely a societal pressure, but I think girls care about this a lot more than guys. When a girl is at the beach, she is constantly analyzing the surrounding girls and comparing her body to those around her. As I do think that this trend is becoming more equal, I think it will still take a lot of time for men and women to have the same pressures put on them by society to conform.
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Men definitely need to conform to society the same way women do. Maybe not in the same way though. Men play a specific role in society that often gets over looked during these days of feminism and the demonization of men. Sure it’s a male dominated society however we must ask ourselves the question, would women have created all this wealth and industry in the world today? Women contribute but men are silently expected to keep it going. Men must conform to the expectations of our culture and society. As for the image concept of this idea, men definitely need to conform like women just not in the same ways. Men don’t get breast implants. But sometimes they get calf implants! Men need to keep themselves well-groomed, dressed appropriately, and behaved in the proper business attitude. And that is just for the professional world. In the social world, men need to keep themselves clean cut looking and well dressed if they want any chance of picking up girls. There seems to be a certain dress code for going to the bars. Nice shoes, jeans or slacks, and a collared button down shirt. This is what women look for in men. I once asked a bartender at indigo if she liked guys in button down shirts. I Figured girls wouldn’t like that because then all the guys look the same and fake. They are clearly just dressed to impress the girls. But the bartender said that she prefers guys in button down shirts because they look nice and groomed. No girl wants to go out with some schlub in sweatpants and a t-shirt with spaghetti sauce stains all over the front while wearing burkenstocks with white socks. Guys can’t have a shaggy beard and molester mustache if they want any chance of picking up girls. Guys can’t drive around in piece of shit cars that are dirty on the outside and filled with soda bottles, chip bags, and empty cigarette packs on the inside. These are all small things that women notice about men and use to judge them on their personality and potential as a boyfriend or husband. So yea women have to conform but they are doing that for themselves and other women. We all know that women dress to impress other women because men couldn’t care less about what a girl is wearing unless she is fat and wearing a belly shirt. Men only dress like they are pimps so that they can impress the girls. Men REALLY don’t care what other men are wearing. The most they will judge each other on is the quality of a suit and or tie. Who cares what we look like as long as we aren’t dirty.
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Men definitely have to confirm to society. As a man, I have witnessed first hand situations where you need to conform. You have to be able drink, not show much emotion, be built, tall and thin just to name a few. I mean I look at myself and see ways that I can physically and emotionally approve. Should I, no but I do so any way because it’s part of conforming to society. There’s certain activities I won’t tell anyone that I do because it’s not the most “macho”. I am a straight man, but I don’t want people to know that I tan in the winter or watch VH1 reality television shows. That wouldn’t be conforming. Honestly, as I sit here and type this I realize it really isn’t that big of a deal, so I should just be honest with everyone. The ideal man stigma is something a lot of guys go for, and to go against that would be detrimental to their social life. I think men are competitive in other ways than women. I mean men want to look better than every other guy, but in a different way. Men want to be the most muscular, in shape guy out there; where as girls want to wear the hottest outfit at the party and the nicest shoes. Guys also competitive when it comes to drinking and playing sports. The media tells us that the varsity jocks are all thin, muscular and popular. I mean I think in every television show and movie about high school these stereotypes are there. Then, because we all watch these from the media, men believe that they have to have the best body and be the star athlete to conform to society. Men blacklist any activities that are kind of feminine. Tanning, shopping, and even dancing are some of these activities. God forbid I read a book, have a glass a tea and watch Grey’s Anatomy. It does not mean you’re gay if you do these activities. So what if you were, are they not going to talk to you? If that’s the case, then they weren’t your friends in the first place. I think that heterosexual men and the idea of conforming to the macho men stereotype makes it very hard for gay men to come out. I guess it just comes to a point where you don’t care anymore, but it has to be difficult trying to conform to society as a gay man. This macho persona is has to change soon. There should not be any example that everybody should try to be like. This stereotype limits creativity and independence. Our world needs a new idea of perfection and it should be individuality.
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Everyone is socialized to conform to society at such a young age. If you think about it, we have been socialized back to when we were born. Mothers can never dress their boy babies in girl colored clothes because then people wouldn’t be able to tell the sex of the baby. And then when we entered elementary school, the boys would play sports and rough house at recess while the girls would socialize in their groups. Girls played with Barbies and boys played sports. Even now nobody expects boys to watch “chick flicks.” Girls are supposed to be feminine, wear dresses and fit in.
I agree, everyone does want to fit in. But at what point do we do what we want and not what is expected of us? A lot of times I feel as if men are more nonchalant about societal pressures than women. Take zombie wars for example, the strange game that goes on around campus. A lot of men don’t care what others think, they do what they want. And in a way I admire this. A lot of guys do go along with society though. A lot of men wear popular clothes and have the latest technology. Like Sam said in class, everyone wants the newest technology. However I do feel as though guys have a lot less pressure on them. Girls are expected to wear make-up and do their hair. Guys not so much. Other girls notice when a chick wears the same outfit twice, guys don’t. Guys are socialized in ways other than looks. Sports is a huge example of how men are socialized. Every “typical” guy loves football, baseball, and basketball. At such a young age, boys are encouraged to join recreational sport teams. If a young boy would rather play with dolls than a soccer ball, he is considered abnormal.
Guys more than girls, I think anyways, strive to have the nicest things. Especially when it comes to cars. Every time I see a group of guys cruising around on campus, they are driving some pimped out vehicle blaring music. With that said, I think men are judged on different criterion than girls. Why doesn’t anyone try to accomplish having things that actually matter in life. Intelligence should be more important than looks and possessions. Money isn’t everything. And in order to truly fit in today’s society I feel as though money is key. Having nice clothes, cars, and technology aren’t free.
In conclusion I do think guys are socialized as much as women. Everyone is socialized from a prime age and we don’t even realize it. Guys are just socialized to be manly jocks and girls are socialized to look pretty.
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I feel as men don't need to conform to society because men have been quite frankly been able to do as they please and had been able to make it acceptable. Men with beer bellies are viewed as normal while girls who are a little chubby are viewed as fat and ugly. Men are the exact opposite of conforming. It is almost as if men do as they please without really thinking about the possible ramifications that could come into effect. It is basically the nature of men to do as they please
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Men have just as much pressure to conform to a certain image as women do. The only thing is there are a lot of different stereotypes a man can be, not just the one or two that most women feel pressure to be like. There's the tough guy emotionally stoic man, the frat boy image, pretty boy,..etc. So the focus for men isn't just based on one way a man has to be unlike the way it is for women. The female stereotype of the thin blonde hair and such is really the only stereotype you hear about for women, so that one body image is focused in on more. I think the pressure for men comes from a different place than it does for women too. I think the pressure to conform comes from the people closer to them, like their friends and family, especially their male friends. If a guy wants to have guy friends, he'll look and act like the people he wants to be around. Also, a big influence comes from family. My dad is a pretty quiet guy who doesn't really talk about emotions or feelings and he raised me to be kind of the same way. I'm not trying to be offensive but he thinks that guys who are really emotional and "pretty boys" are gay. So there is pressure for me to be the kind of man that he would accept. The pressure from women comes from society in general I think. All the media images and external influences that are telling them that they have to be beautiful and what beautiful is, thats what the female pressure is. It is completely different than the things that men face, but I feel like the pressure to conform is about equal amounts. It really just depends on how much each individual person pays attention to these forces and how much they care about what other people think of them. Because in reality, if a person does not care whether or not they belong to some group and doesn't care what people think about them, then why would they try to follow the stereotypes and "requirements" to belong here? There's always going to be pressure to conform to the mainstream image of men and women. Its up to the people to decide that they want to maintain their individuality if they want to do away with the stereotypes and the pressure to conform to them. It is up to people to create their own identity and not pay attention to who the media is telling them to be. If people don't like all the pressure, then there's two choices, either just give up and follow it or ignore it and live your own life.
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I think that most men feel the need to conform to society, like women do. However, the ways they feel they need to conform are different than women. Women feel the pressure to be thin, big chested, etc. Men, on the other hand, feel the pressure to be “built” with big muscles, tall, etc. This is evident at the gym. Usually, the cardio room is filled with women and the weight section is pretty much occupied by men. I think this pressure to look a certain way is definitely due to media, for both sexes. While it is true celebrities come in all shapes and sizes, MOST of the women fit into a size two, and MOST of the men have six-packs.
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Men, just like women, are products of our environment and culture. I think for men however it is a much more passive and subconscious thing when compared to women at least in terms of appearances. I would say especially say in this college culture that we find ourselves in, men on a day to day basis find ourselves under very little pressure in terms of our appearances. The majority of guys in this town live off of wearing predominately T-shirts day in and day out, especially when the weather is nice. Most of these T-shirts are interchangeable between every guy and there is very little variation, at least from what I have seen and experienced.
One area that men do feel more peer pressure is when we talk about drugs and alcohol. I know for me personally I felt, what I perceived as pressure from my friends from high school to drink and smoke weed. I know this isn’t the case for everyone, but what can I say, my friends from home are a bunch of druggies I guess. My group of friends started smoking weed in 7th grade, which is definitely a time where this kind of peer pressure has more effect on all of us. I remember feeling that I really needed to smoke in order to, townsend quit being such a mo fo what would happen if Pinocchio said my nose will grow, fit in. These kinds of feelings have definitely subsided as I’ve aged but this was one of the only aspects from my life that I feel that I really felt a pressure to conform to my peers and surroundings.
I see a lot of people posting about men conforming in order to try to look big and muscular. I would have to differ in my opinion here. Though clearly many guys do hit the gym 6 days a week and down their protein shakes and creatine, this certainly isn’t the majority. I know that there are the Jersey Shore bros out there that really do care about blasting their pecs, getting tan and fuckin bitches, however most guys do not fit this stereotypical role. Most guys are conscious of their appearance obviously, but they don’t obsess over it the way I feel that many women sometimes can do. Just take for instance the average time that it takes men compared to women to get ready to go out at night. I know plenty of girls that take well over an hour to prepare for a night, whereas men usually take no longer than a half hour to get ready, including a shower. Maybe this is just another product of our culture though, for guys to not care that much about the way they look, and therefore we still are conforming to our society. Who knows.
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I do feel that men feel the need to conform to society's "man" image just as women feel they should act girlie or something. However being a man I feel the conformity comes from outside pressure. I am personally what I consider a sensitive guy and as a result I tend to hang out with girls over guys. Often I get comments like well you should like or know about sports or something along those lines. Or my friends that are girls are shocked when I say that I do not follow football, yes I just admitted that…I go to Penn State and I really do not care for football, sorry. I am perfectly happy and comfortable with myself and the fact that I do not know the first thing about cars or football etc. However I (like many other guys, I'm sure like some of my fellow sensitive guy friends I hang around with) I struggle with the pressure of others comments. I can see why men or women would want to conform to the "manly" or "girlie" stereotype because then you could easily fit in and not have to be interrogated to why you don't act like a "typical" guy or a "typical" girl. My friend (who is also a guy) and I were just talking about how we had been mistaken for gay in the past. The person's reasoning, "well you hang out with a lot of girls and you don't like football". At first I had a problem with this, but now I just laugh because if the only reason someone can come up with to denounce my gender or status as a man is based on getting to hangout with a bunch of cute girls and not watching football I think I'll manage. Once I realized I could be a sensitive guy and be accepted by some truly awesome friends I no longer felt the need to conform. I think guys and girls just need to be themselves (wow how cliche) but more importantly people need to accept people beyond these stereotypes and realize just because someone doesn't fit the "manly" description does not mean that they are less of a man. Also, a little off topic, but just want to clarify that I was not insulted when someone said I was gay, I just knew I that I wasn't and I was upset that people could not realize that not all straight men are "manly" and not all gay men are sensitive. I think if we all were just a little more open minded to the fact that sensitive guys and strong or powerful women are just as much of a man or woman as the "manly" or "girlie" ones, then we would suffer a lot less pressure to conform to the stereotypes.
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As a male I can tell you that men do not try to conform to society as much as women do. True it is everybody’s human nature to fit in and be apart of a crowd however I do not think that men have it as bad or try as hard as women do in today’s society. Men kind of just do there own thing that don’t care what people think. I feel that the media plays a major role in this, the way the media plays a role is this way. One example is they take a perfect woman and put her on the cover of a magazine and that’s how it all starts. Then men start talking saying how she is perfect and that’s the kind of girl that I want etc and women hear this. After hearing this women believe that this is the right way or the only way to look so they try and changed their body to look like this. So that men will like them more. Another thing that the media does is it has articles about how celebrities or famous people have gotten to fat. When they really aren’t that fat they r just heaver then they once were so in other words there not perfect any more. Well teenagers and girls hear this and they say well if she is too fat that means i am defiantly to fat and she really isn’t that fat. So they become bulimic or anorexic. Now I may be wrong but I have never heard of a male becoming bulimic or anorexic before. And these are dangerous diseases, so if men aren’t doing it and women are then women defiantly try to conform to society more then men do. Now the next topic that I want to bring up is plastic surgery, there is so many different types of plastic surgery for women like breast implants, nose jobs, stomach tuck, etc. Now u always hear about women having all types of plastic surgery on their bodies but once again you never hear of men doing that. What it all comes down to is self-esteem, if a girl can look past the magazine covers, the television shows, and be happy with herself, then that is all that matters. But our society is so stuck on the "perfect" image that it has burned a hole in girl’s heads to make them think they will never be good enough when they are already great. Why do we leave it to Hollywood to tell us what is acceptable and what is not, the world is all about variety, not everyone likes the same things, or else this world would be bland. So women should just be themselves like men do and not let Hollywood or the media control their lives.
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This was a very good video post and something I really haven’t thought of. I would say absolutely. Men are constantly trying to fit the image that the big companies and the media portray. It’s sickening that we as society can’t feel comfortable with ourselves because the media and “other factors” make us think we need to all look alike. I think this topic especially relates students in college we all want to fit in and feel accepted by our peers. You see it everywhere the gym, downtown, in the class room, everywhere. We should be happy with what we have been given because this is truly who we are. I don’t want to be like everyone else that what makes me who I am. I believe everyone feels this deep down inside but it is really hard to stay true to who you are while commercials are throwing “images” in our face. Instead of showing us before and after pictures of some women after she took fat burning pills why doesn’t the media commercialize self love and uniqueness? That would send a better message to our youth than what we have on television today.
Another thing that I actually didn’t think but I after I read a couple post agreed with also. Alcohol consumption is a big thing for men. This is a huge thing men feel they need to conform to especially while in college. You see all the people downtown having good times, it’s only natural for you to want to be a part of that. I think this subject is more related to men because I believe it’s a more social thing for men to drink than women when it comes to making friends
Also I wouldn’t be surprised if men are more critical of their bodies than women. Seriously I don’t know it’s just how I feel. I feel like we feel we have to be tone and defined and have a nice tan in order to get ladies it’s pathetic. Women want the Abercrombie model they want the all American image because that is what they see on TV and in magazines. Thanks big corporations because of you I now need to go to the gym 5 days a week fake tan and sculpt my hair as if it was going to be on display at an art museum. When’s it going to end when is the beer belly is going to come back into style haha.
But on a serious note big corporations really need to stop plugging into our heads that we all need to look alike. Love yourself love your features your personality everything because that is who you are no matter what they tell you.
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Even though I am a woman, I think that there is just as much pressure on men to act certain ways and look certain ways just like there is with women. I think that men may not care as much as women do about what other people think about the way they look because they seem to be more content with themselves. Obviously I do not really know how men feel but this opinion just comes from observations I have made from male friends in my life. I am sure that there are some men that feel just as much pressure to fit the mold society casts for them to be macho or sensitive and other stereotypes.
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