posted by Sam Richards

A number of people have asked about our experiences with “lifers” at the prison–what it’s like? can you visit? who are these people? With that in mind Laurie asked one of them to write something that we could put on the blog and have you step inside the mind of someone in prison, take a peek inside the walls.

That said, as you read this you need to recognize that this particular man is quite evolved in his understanding of himself, his past, and his crime. He feels deep regret for the murder he committed and has sought victim-offender reconciliation. There are plenty of men inside of those walls “who should never get out,” is what this man would say. And he would also say that there are others who are not the same people that they were when they first entered through the prison gates.

Read his words. He wrote them for you…for this class. And remember that the world is infinitely more complex than any of us can imagine. This guy never graduated from high school, by the way.

A few years ago, when I was much younger, I saw something that changed my understanding of the world in which I now live. It wasn’t something that I didn’t already know; I just didn’t realize that I knew it. Nor was it something that I didn’t already do; I just didn’t realize how natural it was for me to do it. But seeing it, naked and out in the open in the way it happened, made me realize how amazing this act really was in this environment.

I was sitting on some bleachers with a friend of mine shooting the breeze when I glanced around and noticed two men huddled together. I knew both of these men and it was strange to see that one of them had his arm around the shoulders of the other, who in turn had his head hanging low and appeared to be crying. What made this so unusual was that from what I knew of these men, they hated each other.

I turned to my friend and motioned with my head and asked, “What’s up with those two?” He looked over and replied, “Oh, his son died in a car crash and he can’t get in touch with anyone on the phone.” Without words we both understood why the one man would put aside his hate and provide comfort. It seemed perfectly natural to us.

As we stood up to leave, both of us deliberately chose to walk over to these two men. In passing them, each of us in turn put a hand on the crying man’s shoulder and with a slight squeeze we told him how sorry we were. This, too, was natural for us and didn’t take any thinking in order to make that gesture.

My friend and I are “lifers,” convicted of first degree murder and sentenced to spend the rest of our lives behind bars with no possibility of parole. In fact, you may be surprised to learn that this entire event took place in a prison yard. But to us, it is simply the world in which we live. To us, those two men weren’t strange; the situation wasn’t even that rare. Perhaps unusual to see it so openly, but that just made it more meaningful to us.

Later that night as I lay in my bunk, I couldn’t sleep. I kept seeing those two men and that simple act of compassion made me review my world. How many times have I seen or done similar acts and never really thought about it? You would think that in a place filled with convicted criminals, compassion would be so rare that the sight of it would cause suspicion. But here in this place that most people think is full of “beasts” and “uncaring violent predators,” it is actually rather common.

Here there were two convicts who didn’t like one another sharing this very human moment. One was in pain and the other wasn’t’ going to get anything in return for helping to alleviate his suffering. He was doing something that any thinking, feeling, caring man does for another.

Everyday behind these razor wire topped fences there are little acts of compassion. Sometimes it is stopping to listen to another man complain about his day, even though your day has been just as rotten. Another time it may be letting a man use your phone time so he can speak with his daughter on her birthday. But no matter what the act, it is often done without hesitation and with no expectation of anything in return.

You might not believe men in here are capable of compassion—beneath the surface knowledge of another’s plight…not simple sympathy…but a deep soulful understanding. I’m talking about truly feeling another’s pain and wanting to help. This compassion isn’t reserved for fellow prisoners; it is felt for all who suffer any kind of misfortune anywhere in the world.

I have stood beside men as we discussed with a hitch in our voices, blinking back tears, some horrible disaster in the world. I know how upset and frustrated we all feel that we cannot chip in and help. I’ve stood in line with others to give blood, or helped fill out forms to donate money, even written letters to try and help those in need. It seems that whenever a tragedy occurs there is a rallying of men here to provide whatever we can do.

Even in this dark place of hate and misery, you find compassion. You see human beings helping one another simply because seeing another suffer touches their soul. Such compassion is not a commodity held only for the innocent; it is the heart’s recognition of pain in another and the soul’s demand to provide succor—and to any human being no matter their circumstance.

You may believe prison is filled with the worst of men, and there is some truth to that. But look beyond preconceived ideas and you will find some of the tenets of humanity performed in the most incredibly simply ways and by the most unlikely of individuals for the greatest of reasons – to relieve suffering. And why? Because we all suffer and any relief, no matter how small, is of great relief to us all.

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posted by Laurie Mulvey

Any thoughts on this? Seems to me to be a question that comes up in just about every race dialogue group that I have ever facilitated–especially if the group has some “brown” participants.

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posted by Sam Richards

The problem we’re dealing with in 2009 is that we’re not asking people to THINK. We are feeding them information and few engage in dialogue with people who ask “why” and “how” and “if what you are saying is true, then what about…” Rusty thinking is what happens when we don’t sharpen our understanding of the world by conversing with people who are inclined to say to us “please tell me more about what you think about that.” These are, more often than not, people who have ideas that are different than those we espouse.

Imagine not having taken the opportunity to ride a bicycle for thirty years and suddenly somebody asks you to take an old, rusty bike out for a cruise. How do you imagine that you’d fare? Thirty years without ever being asked to spin those wheels and now you need to perform with all eyes upon you.

So we have this idea that people around us are thinking, that they’re truly using their brains. But have you listened to the conversations going on around you recently? No? Give them a listen now and then. There’s very little back and forth. I’d like to even be able to say that those are just opinions that people are throwing about but it’s hard to even hear the random, shallow, sophomoric ideas as “opinions.”

Okay, so really, the video below was put on the web by people who are critical of Sarah Palin and the people who support her. I’m putting it up, however, because it says nothing about Palin or her supporters and everything about Americans with rusty brains — including the millions of Obama fans who would answer similar questions about him and his policies in the same sort of awkward ways because they, too, drink in “fast food news” without being asked to give their brains a workout and interpret it.

And now…on to the show. And please, don’t laugh at them unless you have answers to the questions that don’t make you sound like a lost soul.

UPDATE: I’ve been reading some of the comments and I have to say I’m not entirely impressed. It’s the standard muckety-much about “my generation” and “people today” rounded out by “but I have to be honest and admit that I don’t know anything about politics.” C’mon people, how does it FEEL to be woefully and utterly ignorant about basic social and political issues? Take ownership, ya’ll. Lay it out there. Don’t grovel in it…but say something about what it means for you.

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posted by Sam Richards

One often never knows who is and who is not LGBT. Just one of those things we all have to live with–sometimes literally. Meet Jeffrey and Tony Perri, grandson and father. Both gay and happy and living outside of the closet.

I unintentionally made a humorous reference to parents being gay in class a few weeks ago and someone who saw the clip on YouTube sent me a story that he heard on the radio. If you don’t remember what I said, you can check it out:

The interview from the radio is touching, especially when you know some people like Jeffrey and Tony. It’s definitely worth listening to. Just click on “Listen to the Story” at the top of the page after you click on THIS LINK.

So it’s actually a very cool story, but in a way that is ironically bittersweet. Had Tony had people in his life who were open about discussing homosexuality, he’d have been out of the closet in his youth — and Jeffrey would not be here because Tony would never have gotten married. I guess denial can be a good thing. It’s all perspective.

But in truth, it’s just nice to imagine elders in our midst who are open to discussing anything that comes to mind and with which young people struggle. What a world we have when that occurs.

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posted by the Gremlin

After watching this short video of a recent incident of racism in a high school where kids were being openly racist, it seems as though I have discovered why it is that we are all just a little bit racist…. still. Race is an open topic in many places here in America and racism must be seeping into our psyches.

In the video students were openly hating black students and there was literally nothing being done about it This is what made me think “WTF?” the most. I certainly remember there being strict rules about racism back when I was in school. But why not this school, how can these kids run wild degrading everyone that looks a little different than them into rubble? Who is to say that we don’t do the same behind our own eyes?

So why are we all racist…. still? Because parents aren’t educating their kids, or choose not to? The schools aren’t doing much to prevent this behavior either. One administrator admitted that their staff wasn’t properly trained in this area. But how much training do you need to undergo to spot such blatant racism and then to speak up?

If you were among this group of so called “administrators,” what would you do? Would you dial up your own little way to report things to the staff? Or something a more extreme?

And then I encounter this video. Another “WTF?” How about these administrators? What are they thinking. The woman won a case in court, afterall, and so her story, which sounds entirely far-fetched, must be true. How can it be? I guess the inmates really do sometimes take over and run the asylum.

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posted by Sam Richards

I have no idea who this guy is. I guess he’s a former child actor who now works for God. As I have not watched TV in the past thirty years, he remains a mystery to me–even though he seems to be quite popular in our mainstream media outlets because I see his face a good deal on the Web.

That said, he says something here that leaves me a bit perplexed and I’d like some of you to respond. Listen to the clip and get back to me.

“When you learn how to skip to a person’s conscience and circumnavigate the intellect, the subject of evolution disappears.” Poof. It’s gone. Someone questions you about evolution? Just change the subject. Amazing what can happen when we stop thinking.

So tell me what you do when the complicated questions that you cannot immediately answer come at you in a fast and furious way, when your world view is called into question, or when you accidentally and inevitably step into that gray area that so many of us unsuccessfully try to avoid so much of the time. Do you just stop thinking like this guy says you can do in the case of evolution so that the conundrum disappears? Or do you stay in the ring and wrestle with the challenges that are difficult to pin down?

Here’s the issue as I see it. This short little video clip might be taken out of context, to be sure. However, it doesn’t really matter for what I’m asking because I see lots of people turning off their intellect when confronted with things they can’t explain. This includes believers of all sorts of ideas, including scientists and sociologists, and not simply religious folks.

And I know what you might say. You might remind me of what I said the other day in class with regard to religious beliefs–that fealty to God comes mainly from faith. But the problem is that faith is not separate from the intellect. Most people who have faith will give you very logical and rational reasons for why they have their faith. Sure, a great deal of many people’s faith is conditional and based on convenience. Perhaps it’s “I have faith that the Pope is speaking for God but I don’t want to get my girlfriend pregnant so I’m using condoms–even though the Pope/God says it’s a sinful act.” Pure convenience to avoid the inconvenience of having a baby to take care of while taking classes.

Or people posit “There are immutable laws that govern the universe (e.g., gravity) and thus no reason to postulate some otherworldly causality.” A convenient observation until you take the time to read theoretical physics and discover the many brilliant scientific minds that have been led to God when they discover that many of these laws are not as immutable as they previously thought. Pure convenience to avoid the inconvenience of having to read another book.

It’s all faith implicated with rational thought.

So the question is as follows: If we live our lives both “believing” and “thinking,” then when is it acceptable to stop doing the latter for the sake of the former? In other words, do we abandon ALL rational thought or just when thinking would force us to confront some ideas and observations that don’t immediately make sense or mesh with what we want to believe?

The message of the gentleman in the video is that some “truths” he has discovered just happen to accompany a particularly complicated mix of riddles (like evolution) and that it’s okay to “circumnavigate” them so you don’t have to deal with what you don’t want to risk understanding. I’m not so sure I agree.

Once again, it doesn’t matter if this has been pulled out of context because that’s a message I’ve heard all of my life from people who want to avoid thinking about something–like the pervasiveness of racism or where fossils came from or whether it really does lower the morale of the troops if gays and lesbians are allowed to serve in the military.

By the way, those of you who are not disposed to faith persuasions don’t need to use this post as an opportunity to bash those who are. Rather, use it as an opportunity to rethink how you navigate the world of ideas.

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