So I’m curious about what you all thought of that video about the dolls. What do you make of how people in class answered the question about how and why this happens? Here it is again. That segment begins around 3:20 if you want to watch it again.

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Totally amazing!!

I think I’m finally getting my head around a solution the race conundrum. It’s been twenty years of my own indecision and chaotic contemplation and inner struggle to figure out where and how to weigh in.

So recently, for example, I finally figured out where to stand on the issue of gun control and the Second Amendment. Basically I came upon the idea that either we disseminate guns widely so that everyone has one (or two or twenty) or we ban then entirely. It doesn’t seem to really matter which route we take, and we’re sure to keep arguing about the issue for another 200+ years if we don’t get extreme in one direction or the other. But back to the race solution…

Here it is: Just have everyone become white. It seems as though we now have the technology to make that happen and it comes, evidently, in the form of a simple cream that a person can apply before going to bed. We could all become brown, of course. However, the “quick tanning creams” currently on the market seem to make people’s skin more reddish or orange than brown. And white appears to be easier on the sensibilities of so many black and brown people anyway — who deep down seem to have been so affected by white supremacy that they secretly harbor desires for whiteness. Crazy world.

And Sammy Sosa seems to have the skin whitening product that works. It’s all good; it’s all white. It’s all a perfect storm of celebrity sports marketing that can hype us into oneness and togetherness.

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[I just read a few of the earliest responses to this post and not one mentioned the insane number of whacky ways that Brazilians described themselves on a census thirty years ago. It's in the box below the video. Please read through those. Very funny and telling.]

Check out this story about affirmative action and discrimination in Brazil. To quickly summarize it, Brazil is trying to combat centuries of discrimination against Africans and Indians (people indigenous to that country) and one way they’ve done it is through a very aggressive affimative action program in their universities. There still remains some blistering discrimination in Brazil (think Jim Crow in the United States) and so it’s not difficult to make the argument that something needs to be done. But what, exactly?

Keep in mind that there is considerable opposition to this policy. Much of it sounds like opposition faced here in the U.S. — things aren’t that bad so let sleeping dogs lie. CHECK OUT THIS BBC ARTICLE.
CHECK OUT THIS BBC ARTICLE.

So here is the problem. Here are the racial classifications from the 1976 Brazilian Census — all 134 of them. And you thought the U.S. was complicated! Read some of these names. Mind you, these are how people categorized themselves and not the categories that the Brazilian government used to classify its citizens.

Acastanhada (cashewlike tint; caramel colored)
Agalegada
Alva (pure white)
Alva-escura (dark or off-white)
Alverenta (or aliviero, “shadow in the water”)
Alvarinta (tinted or bleached white)
Alva-rosada (or jamote, roseate, white with pink highlights)
Alvinha (bleached; white-washed)
Amarela (yellow)
Amarelada (yellowish)
Amarela-quemada (burnt yellow or ochre)
Amarelosa (yellowed)
Amorenada (tannish)
Avermelhada (reddish, with blood vessels showing through the skin)
Azul (bluish)
Azul-marinho (deep bluish)
Baiano (ebony)
Bem-branca (very white)
Bem-clara (translucent)
Bem-morena (very dusky)
Branca (white)
Branca-avermelhada (peach white)
Branca-melada (honey toned)
Branca-morena (darkish white)
Branca-pálida (pallid)
Branca-queimada (sunburned white)
Branca-sardenta (white with brown spots)
Branca-suja (dirty white)
Branquiça (a white variation)
Branquinha (whitish)
Bronze (bronze)
Bronzeada (bronzed tan)
Bugrezinha-escura (Indian characteristics)
Burro-quanto-foge (“burro running away,” implying racial mixture of unknown origin)
Cabocla (mixture of white, Negro and Indian)
Cabo-Verde (black; Cape Verdean)
Café (coffee)
Café-com-leite (coffee with milk)
Canela (cinnamon)
Canelada (tawny)
Castão (thistle colored)
Castanha (cashew)
Castanha-clara (clear, cashewlike)
Castanha-escura (dark, cashewlike)
Chocolate (chocolate brown)
Clara (light)
Clarinha (very light)
Cobre (copper hued)
Corado (ruddy)
Cor-de-café (tint of coffee)
Cor-de-canela (tint of cinnamon)
Cor-de-cuia (tea colored)
Cor-de-leite (milky)
Cor-de-oro (golden)
Cor-de-rosa (pink)
Cor-firma (“no doubt about it”)
Crioula (little servant or slave; African)
Encerada (waxy)
Enxofrada (pallid yellow; jaundiced)
Esbranquecimento (mostly white)
Escura (dark)
Escurinha (semidark)
Fogoio (florid; flushed)
Galega (see agalegada above)
Galegada (see agalegada above)
Jambo (like a fruit the deep-red color of a blood orange)
Laranja (orange)
Lilás (lily)
Loira (blond hair and white skin)
Loira-clara (pale blond)
Loura (blond)
Lourinha (flaxen)
Malaia (from Malabar)
Marinheira (dark greyish)
Marrom (brown)
Meio-amerela (mid-yellow)
Meio-branca (mid-white)
Meio-morena (mid-tan)
Meio-preta (mid-Negro)
Melada (honey colored)
Mestiça (mixture of white and Indian)
Miscigenação (mixed — literally “miscegenated”)
Mista (mixed)
Morena (tan)
Morena-bem-chegada (very tan)
Morena-bronzeada (bronzed tan)
Morena-canelada (cinnamonlike brunette)
Morena-castanha (cashewlike tan)
Morena clara (light tan)
Morena-cor-de-canela (cinnamon-hued brunette)
Morena-jambo (dark red)
Morenada (mocha)
Morena-escura (dark tan)
Morena-fechada (very dark, almost mulatta)
Morenão (very dusky tan)
Morena-parda (brown-hued tan)
Morena-roxa (purplish-tan)
Morena-ruiva (reddish-tan)
Morena-trigueira (wheat colored)
Moreninha (toffeelike)
Mulatta (mixture of white and Negro)
Mulatinha (lighter-skinned white-Negro)
Negra (negro)
Negrota (Negro with a corpulent vody)
Pálida (pale)
Paraíba (like the color of marupa wood)
Parda (dark brown)
Parda-clara (lighter-skinned person of mixed race)
Polaca (Polish features; prostitute)
Pouco-clara (not very clear)
Pouco-morena (dusky)
Preta (black)
Pretinha (black of a lighter hue)
Puxa-para-branca (more like a white than a mulatta)
Quase-negra (almost Negro)
Queimada (burnt)
Queimada-de-praia (suntanned)
Queimada-de-sol (sunburned)
Regular (regular; nondescript)
Retinta (“layered” dark skin)
Rosa (roseate)
Rosada (high pink)
Rosa-queimada (burnished rose)
Roxa (purplish)
Ruiva (strawberry blond)
Russo (Russian; see also polaca)
Sapecada (burnished red)
Sarará (mulatta with reddish kinky hair, aquiline nose)
Saraúba (or saraiva: like a white meringue)
Tostada (toasted)
Trigueira (wheat colored)
Turva (opaque)
Verde (greenish)
Vermelha (reddish)

Frankly, I’m inclined to think that the reason that Brazilians never had a “race issue” is because people are too confused about their own racial identity to have any thoughts about the matter. Affirmative action is bound to fail, at least without the help of a supercomputer.

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Girl suffers burns over seventy percent of her body after lying 16 minutes in a coin operated suntanning bed.

Let’s not forget about skin darkening practices—and the premature aging, painful burning, sun poisoning and skin cancer that result because light-skinned people often don’t feel good about themselves when they’re “too white.” As a white person myself, this is a refrain I’ve heard many times—and one that taught me that it was normal to put oil on my skin and swelter in the summer sun even though the act made me cranky and uncomfortable. But I thought I was moving closer to a standard of beauty that I needed to attain. So I did it—as do many like me.

Collage of skin cancers

And let’s not forget about the orange-y complexions that result when white people bake themselves in space age tanning ovens all winter to maintain their “color.” What do we make of this? What do we think white people are trying to accomplish while dark skinned people have the idea that they should be lighter? Who are white people emulating?

And what keeps all of us from ever really juxtaposing these practices of whitening and darkening our skins? Are we afraid to conclude that human beings are just sad creatures who are never satisfied with what they have inherited no matter what the power politics and hegemonic context in which they live?

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